[Music] social media makes me feel anxious
social media makes me feel anxious
social media makes me feel anxious depressed frustrated self-conscious and
depressed frustrated self-conscious and
depressed frustrated self-conscious and sad after scrolling through Instagram I
sad after scrolling through Instagram I
sad after scrolling through Instagram I sometimes feel like I can’t measure up
sometimes feel like I can’t measure up
sometimes feel like I can’t measure up left out like I need to work on my
left out like I need to work on my
left out like I need to work on my appearance like I’m not up to par
appearance like I’m not up to par
appearance like I’m not up to par inadequate these are examples of the
inadequate these are examples of the
inadequate these are examples of the responses I received when in an attempt
responses I received when in an attempt
responses I received when in an attempt to better understand the impact of
to better understand the impact of
to better understand the impact of social media on our lives
social media on our lives
social media on our lives I asked hundreds of college students and
I asked hundreds of college students and
I asked hundreds of college students and adults to complete two very simple
adults to complete two very simple
adults to complete two very simple sentences social media makes me and
sentences social media makes me and
sentences social media makes me and after scrolling through Instagram I
after scrolling through Instagram I
after scrolling through Instagram I sometimes feel now based on
sometimes feel now based on
sometimes feel now based on conversations with many friends and
conversations with many friends and
conversations with many friends and fellow researchers and even noticing
fellow researchers and even noticing
fellow researchers and even noticing things and myself at times when
things and myself at times when
things and myself at times when scrolling through my news feeds I can’t
scrolling through my news feeds I can’t
scrolling through my news feeds I can’t say that I was surprised at these
say that I was surprised at these
say that I was surprised at these responses but I can’t say that I grew a
responses but I can’t say that I grew a
responses but I can’t say that I grew a little sad themes of personal inadequacy
little sad themes of personal inadequacy
little sad themes of personal inadequacy and unhappiness and anxiety and
and unhappiness and anxiety and
and unhappiness and anxiety and discontent were repeated over and over
discontent were repeated over and over
discontent were repeated over and over again and some even spoke to social
again and some even spoke to social
again and some even spoke to social media triggering their battles with
media triggering their battles with
media triggering their battles with clinical depression and eating disorders
clinical depression and eating disorders
clinical depression and eating disorders now my method thus far for looking at
now my method thus far for looking at
now my method thus far for looking at the impact of social media on our lives
the impact of social media on our lives
the impact of social media on our lives is by no means robust but these
is by no means robust but these
is by no means robust but these exercises are tapping into something
exercises are tapping into something
exercises are tapping into something something we can’t ignore something that
something we can’t ignore something that
something we can’t ignore something that sheds a deeper layer of understanding on
sheds a deeper layer of understanding on
sheds a deeper layer of understanding on what research has already begun to
what research has already begun to
what research has already begun to uncover social media appears to be
uncover social media appears to be
uncover social media appears to be having a negative impact on our mood and
having a negative impact on our mood and
having a negative impact on our mood and our self-esteem and our sense of
our self-esteem and our sense of
our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth but why now to answer this
self-worth but why now to answer this
self-worth but why now to answer this question we first need to understand a
question we first need to understand a
question we first need to understand a few things about ourselves so one we
few things about ourselves so one we
few things about ourselves so one we have a fundamental need to be seen to we
have a fundamental need to be seen to we
have a fundamental need to be seen to we have a fundamental need to share and
have a fundamental need to share and
have a fundamental need to share and express ourselves to others three we
express ourselves to others three we
express ourselves to others three we have a fundamental need to connect and
have a fundamental need to connect and
have a fundamental need to connect and interact with others in essence to be
interact with others in essence to be
interact with others in essence to be social
social
social Media provides the perfect opportunity
Media provides the perfect opportunity
Media provides the perfect opportunity to do these things we get to be seen in
to do these things we get to be seen in
to do these things we get to be seen in these social spaces we get to express
these social spaces we get to express
these social spaces we get to express ourselves and we get to connect with
ourselves and we get to connect with
ourselves and we get to connect with others now a fourth thing we need to
others now a fourth thing we need to
others now a fourth thing we need to understand is we have a fundamental need
understand is we have a fundamental need
understand is we have a fundamental need to evaluate ourselves and knowing this
to evaluate ourselves and knowing this
to evaluate ourselves and knowing this helps us understand our tendency to
helps us understand our tendency to
helps us understand our tendency to compare ourselves now let me ask you
compare ourselves now let me ask you
compare ourselves now let me ask you this how many of you in here have been
this how many of you in here have been
this how many of you in here have been told some version of don’t compare
told some version of don’t compare
told some version of don’t compare yourself to others show of hands hmm –
yourself to others show of hands hmm –
yourself to others show of hands hmm – well I hate to break it to you but this
well I hate to break it to you but this
well I hate to break it to you but this in and of itself isn’t the most
in and of itself isn’t the most
in and of itself isn’t the most effective advice you see according to a
effective advice you see according to a
effective advice you see according to a theory by leon festinger’s theory is
theory by leon festinger’s theory is
theory by leon festinger’s theory is called social comparison theory we have
called social comparison theory we have
called social comparison theory we have a strong desire to gain an accurate
a strong desire to gain an accurate
a strong desire to gain an accurate assessment of who we are an accurate
assessment of who we are an accurate
assessment of who we are an accurate assessment of our thoughts and our
assessment of our thoughts and our
assessment of our thoughts and our abilities so we look for a standard a
abilities so we look for a standard a
abilities so we look for a standard a benchmark to measure ourselves up
benchmark to measure ourselves up
benchmark to measure ourselves up against well other people provide that
against well other people provide that
against well other people provide that standard without some level of
standard without some level of
standard without some level of comparison we wouldn’t know where we’re
comparison we wouldn’t know where we’re
comparison we wouldn’t know where we’re different we wouldn’t know our strengths
different we wouldn’t know our strengths
different we wouldn’t know our strengths we wouldn’t know what unique things we
we wouldn’t know what unique things we
we wouldn’t know what unique things we bring to the table and without some
bring to the table and without some
bring to the table and without some level of comparison there would be no
level of comparison there would be no
level of comparison there would be no such thing as role models because that
such thing as role models because that
such thing as role models because that would take an acknowledgment that where
would take an acknowledgment that where
would take an acknowledgment that where they are isn’t where we are yet but it’s
they are isn’t where we are yet but it’s
they are isn’t where we are yet but it’s where we would like to be now how we
where we would like to be now how we
where we would like to be now how we treat these comparisons can certainly
treat these comparisons can certainly
treat these comparisons can certainly lead to some unhelpful and unproductive
lead to some unhelpful and unproductive
lead to some unhelpful and unproductive patterns but comparison is simply a
patterns but comparison is simply a
patterns but comparison is simply a source of information that we get to
source of information that we get to
source of information that we get to decide what we want to do with so being
decide what we want to do with so being
decide what we want to do with so being seen and expressing ourselves and
seen and expressing ourselves and
seen and expressing ourselves and connecting with others and gaining
connecting with others and gaining
connecting with others and gaining feedback about our thoughts and our
feedback about our thoughts and our
feedback about our thoughts and our abilities and even gaining inspiration
abilities and even gaining inspiration
abilities and even gaining inspiration it’s no wonder social media has become
it’s no wonder social media has become
it’s no wonder social media has become so important to us why it draws us in
so important to us why it draws us in
so important to us why it draws us in why it affects us but when and how does
why it affects us but when and how does
why it affects us but when and how does this affect to become bad well this has
this affect to become bad well this has
this affect to become bad well this has to do with another fundamental thing
to do with another fundamental thing
to do with another fundamental thing that we do make meaning we are hardwired
that we do make meaning we are hardwired
that we do make meaning we are hardwired for meaning making for
for meaning making for
for meaning making for judging everything it is that we see for
judging everything it is that we see for
judging everything it is that we see for attaching meaning to our environments
attaching meaning to our environments
attaching meaning to our environments all to make sense out of them this is
all to make sense out of them this is
all to make sense out of them this is what we do as creatures we are meaning
what we do as creatures we are meaning
what we do as creatures we are meaning making creatures and this too is what we
making creatures and this too is what we
making creatures and this too is what we do in social media we take these
do in social media we take these
do in social media we take these platforms platforms that have no
platforms platforms that have no
platforms platforms that have no inherent meaning platforms that don’t
inherent meaning platforms that don’t
inherent meaning platforms that don’t have a singular meaning and we
have a singular meaning and we
have a singular meaning and we instantaneously and often unfairly give
instantaneously and often unfairly give
instantaneously and often unfairly give them one and that’s the problem the
them one and that’s the problem the
them one and that’s the problem the meaning that we’re giving social media
meaning that we’re giving social media
meaning that we’re giving social media the meaning that we’re allowing it to
the meaning that we’re allowing it to
the meaning that we’re allowing it to have for ourselves and for our lives
have for ourselves and for our lives
have for ourselves and for our lives now while this plays out in a number of
now while this plays out in a number of
now while this plays out in a number of different ways one of the most
different ways one of the most
different ways one of the most problematic ways involves the meaning we
problematic ways involves the meaning we
problematic ways involves the meaning we attach the information that social media
attach the information that social media
attach the information that social media provides us about standing you see
provides us about standing you see
provides us about standing you see social media with its likes and its
social media with its likes and its
social media with its likes and its comments and its follower counts
comments and its follower counts
comments and its follower counts provides us information about our social
provides us information about our social
provides us information about our social media standing in our social media value
media standing in our social media value
media standing in our social media value but we have somehow allowed this
but we have somehow allowed this
but we have somehow allowed this information to become a measure of our
information to become a measure of our
information to become a measure of our actual standing in our actual values a
actual standing in our actual values a
actual standing in our actual values a measure of our actual significance and
measure of our actual significance and
measure of our actual significance and importance a measure of our contribution
importance a measure of our contribution
importance a measure of our contribution a measure of who we are social media was
a measure of who we are social media was
a measure of who we are social media was never meant to qualify our worth as
never meant to qualify our worth as
never meant to qualify our worth as human beings or our existence but we’re
human beings or our existence but we’re
human beings or our existence but we’re letting it another problematic way that
letting it another problematic way that
letting it another problematic way that this plays out is in the meaning we
this plays out is in the meaning we
this plays out is in the meaning we attach the information we see from other
attach the information we see from other
attach the information we see from other people you see for many social media has
people you see for many social media has
people you see for many social media has become a timetable a master schedule of
become a timetable a master schedule of
become a timetable a master schedule of sorts that tells us when and how things
sorts that tells us when and how things
sorts that tells us when and how things are supposed to happen in our lives if
are supposed to happen in our lives if
are supposed to happen in our lives if friends have bought houses then we
friends have bought houses then we
friends have bought houses then we should have – if friends have found
should have – if friends have found
should have – if friends have found spouses than we should have – if
if friends have lost all the weight that
if friends have lost all the weight that they’ve intended to then we have no
they’ve intended to then we have no
they’ve intended to then we have no excuse and if friends have made big
excuse and if friends have made big
excuse and if friends have made big personal breakthroughs in their lives or
personal breakthroughs in their lives or
personal breakthroughs in their lives or the careers and of these breakthroughs
the careers and of these breakthroughs
the careers and of these breakthroughs haven’t yet happened for us it’s too
haven’t yet happened for us it’s too
haven’t yet happened for us it’s too late they never will
late they never will
late they never will social media has become another place
social media has become another place
social media has become another place that we’ve allowed ourselves to
that we’ve allowed ourselves to
that we’ve allowed ourselves to entertain our deepest insecurities and
entertain our deepest insecurities and
entertain our deepest insecurities and our greatest fears now
our greatest fears now
our greatest fears now these social platforms aren’t going
these social platforms aren’t going
these social platforms aren’t going anywhere if anything they’re becoming
anywhere if anything they’re becoming
anywhere if anything they’re becoming more central to our experience of what
more central to our experience of what
more central to our experience of what do we do well the great thing about
do we do well the great thing about
do we do well the great thing about being meaning makers is that not only
being meaning makers is that not only
being meaning makers is that not only can we create meaning we can recreate
can we create meaning we can recreate
can we create meaning we can recreate meaning we can redefine things we can
meaning we can redefine things we can
meaning we can redefine things we can read aside what we want things to be in
read aside what we want things to be in
read aside what we want things to be in our lives so if something takes on a
our lives so if something takes on a
our lives so if something takes on a meaning that no longer serves or
meaning that no longer serves or
meaning that no longer serves or empowers who we are then we can change
empowers who we are then we can change
empowers who we are then we can change it as meaning making creatures we have
it as meaning making creatures we have
it as meaning making creatures we have the power to so my question for you all
the power to so my question for you all
the power to so my question for you all is this what does social media mean to
is this what does social media mean to
is this what does social media mean to you what role are you giving it what
you what role are you giving it what
you what role are you giving it what space in your life are you letting it
space in your life are you letting it
space in your life are you letting it fill what questions about yourself
fill what questions about yourself
fill what questions about yourself are you seeking for it to answer what a
are you seeking for it to answer what a
are you seeking for it to answer what a formations are you looking for it to
formations are you looking for it to
formations are you looking for it to give when I sat down to answer these
give when I sat down to answer these
give when I sat down to answer these questions for myself I decided that for
questions for myself I decided that for
questions for myself I decided that for me social media will simply be a place
me social media will simply be a place
me social media will simply be a place for self-expression an opportunity to
for self-expression an opportunity to
for self-expression an opportunity to connect with like-minded creators and
connect with like-minded creators and
connect with like-minded creators and thinkers and influencers an opportunity
thinkers and influencers an opportunity
thinkers and influencers an opportunity to connect with people that love me and
to connect with people that love me and
to connect with people that love me and who I love
[Applause]
[Applause] and that when social media would stop
and that when social media would stop
and that when social media would stop being these things that I would back
being these things that I would back
being these things that I would back away from it for as long as I needed to
away from it for as long as I needed to
away from it for as long as I needed to because personally if you ask me what
because personally if you ask me what
because personally if you ask me what social media has to do with our Worth
social media has to do with our Worth
social media has to do with our Worth and our value and our significance and
and our value and our significance and
and our value and our significance and our importance and our contribution as
our importance and our contribution as
our importance and our contribution as people I would have to say this
people I would have to say this
people I would have to say this absolutely nothing thank you
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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