perception such a melodic word and yet one so potentially lethal pondering it I
one so potentially lethal pondering it I
one so potentially lethal pondering it I turned to the author
turned to the author
turned to the author Aldous Huxley the father of such works
Aldous Huxley the father of such works
Aldous Huxley the father of such works as brave new world and the doors of
as brave new world and the doors of
as brave new world and the doors of perception
perception
perception according to Huxley
according to Huxley
according to Huxley there’s the known the unknown and
there’s the known the unknown and
there’s the known the unknown and between them lie doors of perception
between them lie doors of perception
between them lie doors of perception what do we know what don’t we know and
what do we know what don’t we know and
what do we know what don’t we know and why does it matter well it only matters
why does it matter well it only matters
why does it matter well it only matters and my perception will only change if it
and my perception will only change if it
and my perception will only change if it helps me because let’s face it
helps me because let’s face it
helps me because let’s face it self-interest
self-interest
self-interest rules so I have two points today one
rules so I have two points today one
rules so I have two points today one self-interest can be good and consistent
self-interest can be good and consistent
self-interest can be good and consistent with enlightened self-interest a change
with enlightened self-interest a change
with enlightened self-interest a change in my perspective can be good not just
in my perspective can be good not just
in my perspective can be good not just for me but even for people I don’t even
for me but even for people I don’t even
for me but even for people I don’t even know so here’s my story I am a gay black
know so here’s my story I am a gay black
know so here’s my story I am a gay black woman who became an army officer lawyer
woman who became an army officer lawyer
woman who became an army officer lawyer executive and now musician I thought a
executive and now musician I thought a
executive and now musician I thought a lot about perception through the lens of
lot about perception through the lens of
lot about perception through the lens of my life journey thirty years ago I got a
my life journey thirty years ago I got a
my life journey thirty years ago I got a powerful lesson
powerful lesson
powerful lesson in perception I was a young army officer
in perception I was a young army officer
in perception I was a young army officer on temporary duty in South Africa
on temporary duty in South Africa
on temporary duty in South Africa apartheid was alive and well Mandela
apartheid was alive and well Mandela
apartheid was alive and well Mandela still in jail and while there I met a
still in jail and while there I met a
still in jail and while there I met a civil rights activist who happened to be
civil rights activist who happened to be
civil rights activist who happened to be ethnically Indian during the course of
ethnically Indian during the course of
ethnically Indian during the course of our conversation he referred to himself
our conversation he referred to himself
our conversation he referred to himself as black
as black
as black I’m sure responding to my surprised
I’m sure responding to my surprised
I’m sure responding to my surprised expression he explained the oppressor in
expression he explained the oppressor in
expression he explained the oppressor in South Africa the Afrikaner government
South Africa the Afrikaner government
South Africa the Afrikaner government maintained its power in part by pitting
maintained its power in part by pitting
maintained its power in part by pitting oppressed groups against each other
oppressed groups against each other
oppressed groups against each other black was a unifying term for the
black was a unifying term for the
black was a unifying term for the oppressed
oppressed
oppressed it didn’t matter whether you were Zulu
it didn’t matter whether you were Zulu
it didn’t matter whether you were Zulu Koza colored or Indian to be oppressed
Koza colored or Indian to be oppressed
Koza colored or Indian to be oppressed was to be black now if I’m an oppressed
was to be black now if I’m an oppressed
was to be black now if I’m an oppressed South African in order for me to buy in
South African in order for me to buy in
South African in order for me to buy in to being black I have to walk through
to being black I have to walk through
to being black I have to walk through two of hud sleaze doors the first door
two of hud sleaze doors the first door
two of hud sleaze doors the first door is a change in how I see myself the
is a change in how I see myself the
is a change in how I see myself the second door is I need to change hell I
second door is I need to change hell I
second door is I need to change hell I see others by walking through both of
see others by walking through both of
see others by walking through both of Huxley’s doors oppressed South Africans
Huxley’s doors oppressed South Africans
Huxley’s doors oppressed South Africans helped bring down apartheid
I’ve come back to that conversation many
I’ve come back to that conversation many times because as a gay black woman who
times because as a gay black woman who
times because as a gay black woman who became an army officer lawyer executive
became an army officer lawyer executive
became an army officer lawyer executive and now musician how I see me can be
and now musician how I see me can be
and now musician how I see me can be different from how others see me
different from how others see me
different from how others see me honestly
honestly
honestly how I see me can be different from how I
how I see me can be different from how I
how I see me can be different from how I should see me I was a closeted gay
should see me I was a closeted gay
should see me I was a closeted gay person the first 12 years of my career
person the first 12 years of my career
person the first 12 years of my career gay people are what I perceived it meant
gay people are what I perceived it meant
gay people are what I perceived it meant to be gay was frightening to me of
to be gay was frightening to me of
to be gay was frightening to me of course it was career-ending and or
course it was career-ending and or
course it was career-ending and or criminal to be a gay army officer in the
criminal to be a gay army officer in the
criminal to be a gay army officer in the 1980s I now understand the emotional
1980s I now understand the emotional
1980s I now understand the emotional gymnastics I went through to just not go
gymnastics I went through to just not go
gymnastics I went through to just not go there
there
there it was in my self-interest to just not
it was in my self-interest to just not
it was in my self-interest to just not go there even after I left the army and
go there even after I left the army and
go there even after I left the army and moved to so-called liberal Seattle for
moved to so-called liberal Seattle for
moved to so-called liberal Seattle for all practical purposes
all practical purposes
all practical purposes I was closeted for another eight years
I was closeted for another eight years
I was closeted for another eight years the shame the stress
the shame the stress
the shame the stress have you ever had a secret you held so
have you ever had a secret you held so
have you ever had a secret you held so tight inside you that it made you ill
tight inside you that it made you ill
tight inside you that it made you ill have you have you for me it took a job
have you have you for me it took a job
have you have you for me it took a job offer from Texas no less for me to come
offer from Texas no less for me to come
offer from Texas no less for me to come out of the closet you see my my partner
out of the closet you see my my partner
out of the closet you see my my partner had to give up her job and health
had to give up her job and health
had to give up her job and health benefits for me to take the job so I
benefits for me to take the job so I
benefits for me to take the job so I came out as gay to strike the best deal
came out as gay to strike the best deal
came out as gay to strike the best deal possible with a new employer for myself
possible with a new employer for myself
possible with a new employer for myself and my family motivated by self-interest
and my family motivated by self-interest
and my family motivated by self-interest I found my true self amongst the tech
I found my true self amongst the tech
I found my true self amongst the tech God’s barbecue and Willie Nelson of
God’s barbecue and Willie Nelson of
God’s barbecue and Willie Nelson of Austin by the time we returned to
Austin by the time we returned to
Austin by the time we returned to Seattle I knew I could never return to
Seattle I knew I could never return to
Seattle I knew I could never return to the closet but I also wanted to be gay
the closet but I also wanted to be gay
the closet but I also wanted to be gay on my terms I know what Sam Smith the
on my terms I know what Sam Smith the
on my terms I know what Sam Smith the singer means when he says I don’t want
singer means when he says I don’t want
singer means when he says I don’t want to be known as Sam Smith the gate singer
to be known as Sam Smith the gate singer
to be known as Sam Smith the gate singer I want to be known as Sam Smith the
I want to be known as Sam Smith the
I want to be known as Sam Smith the singer who happens to be gay I get that
singer who happens to be gay I get that
singer who happens to be gay I get that I’m that way and I’ve always been that
I’m that way and I’ve always been that
I’m that way and I’ve always been that way in high school I needed to be with
way in high school I needed to be with
way in high school I needed to be with the geeks freaks jocks and student
the geeks freaks jocks and student
the geeks freaks jocks and student council politicians and bristled
council politicians and bristled
council politicians and bristled whenever anybody tried to box me in I
whenever anybody tried to box me in I
whenever anybody tried to box me in I still have that need and I still bristle
still have that need and I still bristle
still have that need and I still bristle when someone says well you don’t sound
when someone says well you don’t sound
when someone says well you don’t sound black I retort well yes I do because I
black I retort well yes I do because I
black I retort well yes I do because I am black and this is how I sound which
am black and this is how I sound which
am black and this is how I sound which brings me to this life chapter where law
brings me to this life chapter where law
brings me to this life chapter where law takes a backseat to music a lot of
takes a backseat to music a lot of
takes a backseat to music a lot of people have opinions about that how
people have opinions about that how
people have opinions about that how could she leave Starbucks music is for
could she leave Starbucks music is for
could she leave Starbucks music is for the young what are you rhythm and blues
the young what are you rhythm and blues
the young what are you rhythm and blues bad oh sure she can do it she’s rich and
bad oh sure she can do it she’s rich and
bad oh sure she can do it she’s rich and the beat goes on well here’s what I know
the beat goes on well here’s what I know
the beat goes on well here’s what I know I know
I know
I know I’m a serious musician I know I need to
I’m a serious musician I know I need to
I’m a serious musician I know I need to write music and share it I want people
write music and share it I want people
write music and share it I want people to like the music I want people to like
to like the music I want people to like
to like the music I want people to like me I want people to like me and this
me I want people to like me and this
me I want people to like me and this need I have is in harmony with an
need I have is in harmony with an
need I have is in harmony with an article I read it’s called the
article I read it’s called the
article I read it’s called the selflessness of self-interest and it’s
selflessness of self-interest and it’s
selflessness of self-interest and it’s written by the CEO of the search firm
written by the CEO of the search firm
written by the CEO of the search firm corn fairy
corn fairy
corn fairy the author says we never graduate from
the author says we never graduate from
the author says we never graduate from sixth grade as adults are our toys are
sixth grade as adults are our toys are
sixth grade as adults are our toys are different and our games have bigger risk
different and our games have bigger risk
different and our games have bigger risk and reward but we never leave the
and reward but we never leave the
and reward but we never leave the playground we all want to be liked loved
playground we all want to be liked loved
playground we all want to be liked loved accepted we want what other people have
accepted we want what other people have
accepted we want what other people have we want to be popular I want to win the
we want to be popular I want to win the
we want to be popular I want to win the author is not being judgmental he’s just
author is not being judgmental he’s just
author is not being judgmental he’s just telling it like it is
telling it like it is
telling it like it is self-interest rules and that’s true
self-interest rules and that’s true
self-interest rules and that’s true whether I’m gay straight black white
whether I’m gay straight black white
whether I’m gay straight black white brown rich poor red blue lawyer or
brown rich poor red blue lawyer or
brown rich poor red blue lawyer or musician self-interest drives much of
musician self-interest drives much of
musician self-interest drives much of what I do from where I live to the
what I do from where I live to the
what I do from where I live to the charities I support that make me feel
charities I support that make me feel
charities I support that make me feel good about myself
good about myself
good about myself to those I love how I love them to the
to those I love how I love them to the
to those I love how I love them to the music I write and perform the author
music I write and perform the author
music I write and perform the author goes on to say though when my
goes on to say though when my
goes on to say though when my self-interest connects with yours and
self-interest connects with yours and
self-interest connects with yours and yours and yours and yours and yours and
yours and yours and yours and yours and
yours and yours and yours and yours and they combined for the good whether it’s
they combined for the good whether it’s
they combined for the good whether it’s for family neighborhood nation or planet
for family neighborhood nation or planet
for family neighborhood nation or planet this fusion
this fusion
this fusion of self-interests can fuel positive
of self-interests can fuel positive
of self-interests can fuel positive action just like what happened in South
action just like what happened in South
action just like what happened in South Africa
Africa
Africa now I’m not so naive to think this
now I’m not so naive to think this
now I’m not so naive to think this happens intuitively or without effort
happens intuitively or without effort
happens intuitively or without effort even at the family workplace or band
even at the family workplace or band
even at the family workplace or band stage but I do think within this notion
stage but I do think within this notion
stage but I do think within this notion of enlightened self-interest there’s a
of enlightened self-interest there’s a
of enlightened self-interest there’s a path to me seeing you as you truly are
path to me seeing you as you truly are
path to me seeing you as you truly are and you seeing me as I want to be seen
and you seeing me as I want to be seen
and you seeing me as I want to be seen and so through enlightened self-interest
and so through enlightened self-interest
and so through enlightened self-interest may we all know a little less so we may
may we all know a little less so we may
may we all know a little less so we may see a little more thank
see a little more thank
see a little more thank [Applause]
”
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