I’m going off script here but I can tell some of my students thank you very much
some of my students thank you very much
some of my students thank you very much for coming this evening I appreciate it
for coming this evening I appreciate it
for coming this evening I appreciate it unlike the other Ted speakers for this
unlike the other Ted speakers for this
unlike the other Ted speakers for this evening I’m actually going to talk about
evening I’m actually going to talk about
evening I’m actually going to talk about something I know almost nothing about
something I know almost nothing about
something I know almost nothing about and that’s emotions I’m gonna talk about
and that’s emotions I’m gonna talk about
and that’s emotions I’m gonna talk about emotions now I know I feel them every
emotions now I know I feel them every
emotions now I know I feel them every day just like you do but just because I
day just like you do but just because I
day just like you do but just because I feel them doesn’t mean I really
feel them doesn’t mean I really
feel them doesn’t mean I really understand them or have any
understand them or have any
understand them or have any comprehension of what’s going on and
comprehension of what’s going on and
comprehension of what’s going on and that may apply to some of you too but to
that may apply to some of you too but to
that may apply to some of you too but to get off on to the topic I’d like to give
get off on to the topic I’d like to give
get off on to the topic I’d like to give you a little story that talks about
you a little story that talks about
you a little story that talks about emotions
emotions
emotions I remember this event many many years
I remember this event many many years
I remember this event many many years ago I was well many many I should say
ago I was well many many I should say
ago I was well many many I should say many many many many years ago when I was
many many many many years ago when I was
many many many many years ago when I was five years old and getting ready to
five years old and getting ready to
five years old and getting ready to attend kindergarten I’m third generation
attend kindergarten I’m third generation
attend kindergarten I’m third generation Asian American but I did not speak
Asian American but I did not speak
Asian American but I did not speak English at the time to make things a
English at the time to make things a
English at the time to make things a little worse I was the only Asian
little worse I was the only Asian
little worse I was the only Asian American in kindergarten and if that
American in kindergarten and if that
American in kindergarten and if that wasn’t bad enough I was the only Asian
wasn’t bad enough I was the only Asian
wasn’t bad enough I was the only Asian American in the entire elementary school
American in the entire elementary school
American in the entire elementary school but if that wasn’t enough
but if that wasn’t enough
but if that wasn’t enough I had this funny-looking canvas hat on
I had this funny-looking canvas hat on
I had this funny-looking canvas hat on my head in strips that had you like
my head in strips that had you like
my head in strips that had you like elastic bands just coming down the side
elastic bands just coming down the side
elastic bands just coming down the side holding a plastic cup onto my chin to
holding a plastic cup onto my chin to
holding a plastic cup onto my chin to compensate for a bad bite so there I was
compensate for a bad bite so there I was
compensate for a bad bite so there I was standing there naturally some of the
standing there naturally some of the
standing there naturally some of the students well most of the students were
students well most of the students were
students well most of the students were staring at me right and then there were
staring at me right and then there were
staring at me right and then there were a few who started to and then there were
a few who started to and then there were
a few who started to and then there were some whisper to each other about and
some whisper to each other about and
some whisper to each other about and then there was this one rude child hmm
then there was this one rude child hmm
then there was this one rude child hmm said something really loud which
said something really loud which
said something really loud which fortunately I didn’t understand what he
fortunately I didn’t understand what he
fortunately I didn’t understand what he was saying but I have to tell you that
was saying but I have to tell you that
was saying but I have to tell you that moment that moment is cemented in my
moment that moment is cemented in my
moment that moment is cemented in my brain because I was so scared I was
brain because I was so scared I was
brain because I was so scared I was terrified I was nauseous I wanted to
terrified I was nauseous I wanted to
terrified I was nauseous I wanted to scream I felt like crying I felt like an
scream I felt like crying I felt like an
scream I felt like crying I felt like an outsider I didn’t know what to do I
outsider I didn’t know what to do I
outsider I didn’t know what to do I wanted to just run out of the room
wanted to just run out of the room
wanted to just run out of the room crying and screaming at the top of my
crying and screaming at the top of my
crying and screaming at the top of my lungs but it was very fortunate for me
lungs but it was very fortunate for me
lungs but it was very fortunate for me that the teacher mrs. Lopez managed to
that the teacher mrs. Lopez managed to
that the teacher mrs. Lopez managed to quiet the other children take me aside
quiet the other children take me aside
quiet the other children take me aside comfort me and help me make it through
comfort me and help me make it through
comfort me and help me make it through the year now we all have memories like
the year now we all have memories like
the year now we all have memories like that you know they could be positive
that you know they could be positive
that you know they could be positive they could be negative that could be
they could be negative that could be
they could be negative that could be horrific memories but we’ve all had them
horrific memories but we’ve all had them
horrific memories but we’ve all had them I’m sure most of the students in this
I’m sure most of the students in this
I’m sure most of the students in this class can kind of remember the first day
class can kind of remember the first day
class can kind of remember the first day when they opened up that envelope that
when they opened up that envelope that
when they opened up that envelope that told them that they had gotten accepted
told them that they had gotten accepted
told them that they had gotten accepted to the College of their choice or maybe
to the College of their choice or maybe
to the College of their choice or maybe they were rejected by the College of
they were rejected by the College of
they were rejected by the College of their choice
their choice
their choice they’re probably parents in this room
they’re probably parents in this room
they’re probably parents in this room who can remember when they first saw the
who can remember when they first saw the
who can remember when they first saw the face of their baby child who is here
face of their baby child who is here
face of their baby child who is here today all of us can probably remember
today all of us can probably remember
today all of us can probably remember the death of a close relative or a
the death of a close relative or a
the death of a close relative or a friend now all of these things are
friend now all of these things are
friend now all of these things are memorable because they are emotional and
memorable because they are emotional and
memorable because they are emotional and in fact psychologists know that emotions
in fact psychologists know that emotions
in fact psychologists know that emotions help you in terms of your memory they’re
help you in terms of your memory they’re
help you in terms of your memory they’re more vivid they’re more memorable and
more vivid they’re more memorable and
more vivid they’re more memorable and they stay with you however these things
they stay with you however these things
they stay with you however these things are not only memorable they help to
are not only memorable they help to
are not only memorable they help to define your life I would like you to try
define your life I would like you to try
define your life I would like you to try to imagine a life where there isn’t any
to imagine a life where there isn’t any
to imagine a life where there isn’t any emotion a marriage without happiness
emotion a marriage without happiness
emotion a marriage without happiness death without sorrow romance without
death without sorrow romance without
death without sorrow romance without love having a job pursuing a career or
love having a job pursuing a career or
love having a job pursuing a career or picking a major for which you feel no
picking a major for which you feel no
picking a major for which you feel no passion or enjoyment our life is defined
passion or enjoyment our life is defined
passion or enjoyment our life is defined by the emotions that we feel if you have
by the emotions that we feel if you have
by the emotions that we feel if you have no emotions there are no memories not
no emotions there are no memories not
no emotions there are no memories not only that emotions as we know now help
only that emotions as we know now help
only that emotions as we know now help individuals to make better personal
individuals to make better personal
individuals to make better personal decisions how is it that you decided to
decisions how is it that you decided to
decisions how is it that you decided to come to Cal Poly the parents how is it
come to Cal Poly the parents how is it
come to Cal Poly the parents how is it that you decided to marry your
that you decided to marry your
that you decided to marry your particular spouse students how is it
particular spouse students how is it
particular spouse students how is it that you chose to be
that you chose to be
that you chose to be in a particular major we know that if
in a particular major we know that if
in a particular major we know that if you can’t feel emotions you cannot make
you can’t feel emotions you cannot make
you can’t feel emotions you cannot make decisions as a result emotions not only
decisions as a result emotions not only
decisions as a result emotions not only define your life but they help to direct
define your life but they help to direct
define your life but they help to direct it and to understand them so that you
it and to understand them so that you
it and to understand them so that you can take your life along meaningful
can take your life along meaningful
can take your life along meaningful pathways is something I feel is very
pathways is something I feel is very
pathways is something I feel is very very critical to the educational process
very critical to the educational process
very critical to the educational process now the feelings that I have about
now the feelings that I have about
now the feelings that I have about emotions I’ve asked myself what does
emotions I’ve asked myself what does
emotions I’ve asked myself what does society and the culture believe about
society and the culture believe about
society and the culture believe about emotions my wife for whom I feel
emotions my wife for whom I feel
emotions my wife for whom I feel emotions yay I love that woman
emotions yay I love that woman
emotions yay I love that woman she’s sitting right over there oh my god
these emotions we ignore them my wife is
these emotions we ignore them my wife is very fond of saying we live in a culture
very fond of saying we live in a culture
very fond of saying we live in a culture that likes to run away from emotions and
that likes to run away from emotions and
that likes to run away from emotions and I’ve always said at the very minimum we
I’ve always said at the very minimum we
I’ve always said at the very minimum we ignore them what we try to deny them and
ignore them what we try to deny them and
ignore them what we try to deny them and we don’t say much about them we kind of
we don’t say much about them we kind of
we don’t say much about them we kind of hide them out we don’t ever talk about
hide them out we don’t ever talk about
hide them out we don’t ever talk about them much but we should and I felt then
them much but we should and I felt then
them much but we should and I felt then that our higher that our institutions of
that our higher that our institutions of
that our higher that our institutions of higher education also ignore him
higher education also ignore him
higher education also ignore him emotions you know I mean what’s the
emotions you know I mean what’s the
emotions you know I mean what’s the emphasis on him education right now they
emphasis on him education right now they
emphasis on him education right now they call it steam or they call it stem right
call it steam or they call it stem right
call it steam or they call it stem right science technology engineering and math
science technology engineering and math
science technology engineering and math or science technology architecture and
or science technology architecture and
or science technology architecture and math it’s all to the head somehow
math it’s all to the head somehow
math it’s all to the head somehow university seem to believe that if they
university seem to believe that if they
university seem to believe that if they can feel your head that you’re
can feel your head that you’re
can feel your head that you’re well-rounded that if you can get a job
well-rounded that if you can get a job
well-rounded that if you can get a job then that’s great because you can give
then that’s great because you can give
then that’s great because you can give them more money right it’s amazing I
them more money right it’s amazing I
them more money right it’s amazing I mean I value my undergraduate education
mean I value my undergraduate education
mean I value my undergraduate education they did fill my head they helped me to
they did fill my head they helped me to
they did fill my head they helped me to get a job but they didn’t help me
get a job but they didn’t help me
get a job but they didn’t help me understand myself for my life ever and I
understand myself for my life ever and I
understand myself for my life ever and I think that we have an obligation in that
think that we have an obligation in that
think that we have an obligation in that regard I’ve always listened to the Cal
regard I’ve always listened to the Cal
regard I’ve always listened to the Cal Poly saying learn by doing and my
Poly saying learn by doing and my
Poly saying learn by doing and my question is learn by doing what what are
question is learn by doing what what are
question is learn by doing what what are you gonna do
I mean I want to change that a little
I mean I want to change that a little bit like learn by doing something okay
bit like learn by doing something okay
bit like learn by doing something okay and feeling but I know what I want you
and feeling but I know what I want you
and feeling but I know what I want you to feel your emotions but this isn’t
to feel your emotions but this isn’t
to feel your emotions but this isn’t what the university ever seems to
what the university ever seems to
what the university ever seems to emphasize I was at a meeting and the
emphasize I was at a meeting and the
emphasize I was at a meeting and the first topic very important what
first topic very important what
first topic very important what percentage of our students are
percentage of our students are
percentage of our students are graduating in four years am i what
graduating in four years am i what
graduating in four years am i what that’s gonna take up this meeting and
that’s gonna take up this meeting and
that’s gonna take up this meeting and the idea of course is to take these
the idea of course is to take these
the idea of course is to take these stressed students and stress them even
stressed students and stress them even
stressed students and stress them even more so we can get more of them out in
more so we can get more of them out in
more so we can get more of them out in four years and then they ask questions
four years and then they ask questions
four years and then they ask questions like well how many of our students are
like well how many of our students are
like well how many of our students are going to graduate school nobody asked
going to graduate school nobody asked
going to graduate school nobody asked how many our students are happy no how
how many our students are happy no how
how many our students are happy no how many are going to graduate school
many are going to graduate school
many are going to graduate school we need more right how many got a job
we need more right how many got a job
we need more right how many got a job the first year after graduation what is
the first year after graduation what is
the first year after graduation what is the median grade point average of
the median grade point average of
the median grade point average of students at Cal Poly my own institution
students at Cal Poly my own institution
students at Cal Poly my own institution writes me on emails and letters and says
writes me on emails and letters and says
writes me on emails and letters and says for the alumni magazine please tell us
for the alumni magazine please tell us
for the alumni magazine please tell us what you’re doing and I huh what what do
what you’re doing and I huh what what do
what you’re doing and I huh what what do you mean what I’m doing don’t you want
you mean what I’m doing don’t you want
you mean what I’m doing don’t you want to know how I feel about how I’m doing
to know how I feel about how I’m doing
to know how I feel about how I’m doing like my job is really terrible right I’m
like my job is really terrible right I’m
like my job is really terrible right I’m depressed
I can’t relate to my kids my cat doesn’t
I can’t relate to my kids my cat doesn’t like me but I love my wife
what is more important you know a
what is more important you know a quarter of all college students are
quarter of all college students are
quarter of all college students are depressed at any given moment in time
depressed at any given moment in time
depressed at any given moment in time suicide is the second biggest killer of
suicide is the second biggest killer of
suicide is the second biggest killer of college students after automobile
college students after automobile
college students after automobile accidents you heard from Nicole the data
accidents you heard from Nicole the data
accidents you heard from Nicole the data on sexual assault in colleges almost a
on sexual assault in colleges almost a
on sexual assault in colleges almost a quarter of the females will experience
quarter of the females will experience
quarter of the females will experience sexual assault or rape and yet we are
sexual assault or rape and yet we are
sexual assault or rape and yet we are asking what are you doing what what
asking what are you doing what what
asking what are you doing what what percentage are graduating in four years
percentage are graduating in four years
percentage are graduating in four years [Music]
[Music]
[Music] higher education seems to think that if
higher education seems to think that if
higher education seems to think that if you feel the head and make one smarter
you feel the head and make one smarter
you feel the head and make one smarter and they get a job that’s all they need
and they get a job that’s all they need
and they get a job that’s all they need to do then you don’t care if you’re
to do then you don’t care if you’re
to do then you don’t care if you’re upset with your job they don’t care if
upset with your job they don’t care if
upset with your job they don’t care if your life is miserable all they want to
your life is miserable all they want to
your life is miserable all they want to know is what kind of job you have how
know is what kind of job you have how
know is what kind of job you have how many people in your family how much
many people in your family how much
many people in your family how much money are you making and how much
money are you making and how much
money are you making and how much prestige does your job reflect upon the
prestige does your job reflect upon the
prestige does your job reflect upon the university itself we need to do
university itself we need to do
university itself we need to do something to educate our students who
something to educate our students who
something to educate our students who are suffering who can’t decide what
are suffering who can’t decide what
are suffering who can’t decide what their major is whose relationships as a
their major is whose relationships as a
their major is whose relationships as a social psychologist I know is falling
social psychologist I know is falling
social psychologist I know is falling apart
apart
apart so what well my first thought is that we
so what well my first thought is that we
so what well my first thought is that we should have a GE requirement that all
should have a GE requirement that all
should have a GE requirement that all students take a minimum of one course if
students take a minimum of one course if
students take a minimum of one course if not a cluster of courses dealing with
not a cluster of courses dealing with
not a cluster of courses dealing with emotions
emotions
emotions now the culture doesn’t want to do that
now the culture doesn’t want to do that
now the culture doesn’t want to do that kind of stuff
kind of stuff
kind of stuff but if you see the students themselves
but if you see the students themselves
but if you see the students themselves if you read their letters if you hear
if you read their letters if you hear
if you read their letters if you hear them on the phone read their texts and
them on the phone read their texts and
them on the phone read their texts and emails they need it and it would help
emails they need it and it would help
emails they need it and it would help them
them
them it would help them to understand
it would help them to understand
it would help them to understand themselves and it would help them to
themselves and it would help them to
themselves and it would help them to understand others so that they could
understand others so that they could
understand others so that they could create a more meaningful life with
create a more meaningful life with
create a more meaningful life with whatever occupation they choose or
whatever occupation they choose or
whatever occupation they choose or whatever major they choose that we could
whatever major they choose that we could
whatever major they choose that we could send them out there with some stability
send them out there with some stability
send them out there with some stability and that’s why I don’t think it’s so
and that’s why I don’t think it’s so
and that’s why I don’t think it’s so foolish to teach a class about love and
foolish to teach a class about love and
foolish to teach a class about love and about romance because aren’t those the
about romance because aren’t those the
about romance because aren’t those the most one of the most important factors
most one of the most important factors
most one of the most important factors that affect their lives now and in the
that affect their lives now and in the
that affect their lives now and in the future wouldn’t it be great to have a
future wouldn’t it be great to have a
future wouldn’t it be great to have a course where students could examine
course where students could examine
course where students could examine their own emotions and start to come to
their own emotions and start to come to
their own emotions and start to come to an understanding of who they are so they
an understanding of who they are so they
an understanding of who they are so they can live their lives as themselves and
can live their lives as themselves and
can live their lives as themselves and not as the culture wants you to live it
not as the culture wants you to live it
not as the culture wants you to live it I feel is very important for education
I feel is very important for education
I feel is very important for education to give support to our student in other
to give support to our student in other
to give support to our student in other ways than to fill their head too many
ways than to fill their head too many
ways than to fill their head too many institutions believe that academic and
institutions believe that academic and
institutions believe that academic and occupational fluency is enough I do not
occupational fluency is enough I do not
occupational fluency is enough I do not in Cal Poly bless the place I mean I
in Cal Poly bless the place I mean I
in Cal Poly bless the place I mean I love working here it’s still I feel
love working here it’s still I feel
love working here it’s still I feel radically deficit in this regard now the
radically deficit in this regard now the
radically deficit in this regard now the other thing I feel that can be done is
other thing I feel that can be done is
other thing I feel that can be done is personal I think we can start by asking
personal I think we can start by asking
personal I think we can start by asking a very simple question I know lots of
a very simple question I know lots of
a very simple question I know lots of people go around you know students do it
people go around you know students do it
people go around you know students do it I do it I see with colleagues I said
I do it I see with colleagues I said
I do it I see with colleagues I said well how is it going how are you doing
well how is it going how are you doing
well how is it going how are you doing right and then they tell you how it’s
right and then they tell you how it’s
right and then they tell you how it’s going and what they’re doing but I think
going and what they’re doing but I think
going and what they’re doing but I think you should listen to that and then I
you should listen to that and then I
you should listen to that and then I think a very simple thing you should ask
think a very simple thing you should ask
think a very simple thing you should ask them how do you feel
them how do you feel
them how do you feel about how you’re doing I’ve just been
about how you’re doing I’ve just been
about how you’re doing I’ve just been trying that and you know what it’s
trying that and you know what it’s
trying that and you know what it’s absolutely amazing I’ve had some of the
absolutely amazing I’ve had some of the
absolutely amazing I’ve had some of the most meaningful conversations from
most meaningful conversations from
most meaningful conversations from people who then told me how they were
people who then told me how they were
people who then told me how they were feeling about what they were doing as a
feeling about what they were doing as a
feeling about what they were doing as a result of that I said I got a better
result of that I said I got a better
result of that I said I got a better grasp of who the people were in front of
grasp of who the people were in front of
grasp of who the people were in front of me a better appreciation of it and
me a better appreciation of it and
me a better appreciation of it and lately I’ve been trying to ask myself
well how do you feel about what you’re
well how do you feel about what you’re doing and why do you feel that way been
doing and why do you feel that way been
doing and why do you feel that way been trying to get a grasp of a more
trying to get a grasp of a more
trying to get a grasp of a more meaningful life for myself in these
meaningful life for myself in these
meaningful life for myself in these later stages I think it’s important that
later stages I think it’s important that
later stages I think it’s important that one understand themselves in light of
one understand themselves in light of
one understand themselves in light of their emotions and use these emotions to
their emotions and use these emotions to
their emotions and use these emotions to direct them in ways that will lead to a
direct them in ways that will lead to a
direct them in ways that will lead to a very meaningful qualitative life that’s
very meaningful qualitative life that’s
very meaningful qualitative life that’s what I want for students I don’t want
what I want for students I don’t want
what I want for students I don’t want just a job I don’t want them just to be
just a job I don’t want them just to be
just a job I don’t want them just to be smart in the head the University says
smart in the head the University says
smart in the head the University says and believes that a well that we give a
and believes that a well that we give a
and believes that a well that we give a well-rounded education I would beg to
well-rounded education I would beg to
well-rounded education I would beg to differ because the quality of life that
differ because the quality of life that
differ because the quality of life that our students have after graduation is
our students have after graduation is
our students have after graduation is unexamined now I do feel like emotions
unexamined now I do feel like emotions
unexamined now I do feel like emotions are like the force in Star Wars you
are like the force in Star Wars you
are like the force in Star Wars you really have to feel the force you have
really have to feel the force you have
really have to feel the force you have to get in touch with the force and the
to get in touch with the force and the
to get in touch with the force and the force can then direct you in the path
force can then direct you in the path
force can then direct you in the path that you should
that you should
that you should and so I like to try to listen sometimes
and so I like to try to listen sometimes
and so I like to try to listen sometimes just stand and listen and try to feel
just stand and listen and try to feel
just stand and listen and try to feel the force because that force that
the force because that force that
the force because that force that emotion I am discovering at the late
emotion I am discovering at the late
emotion I am discovering at the late stages of my life is probably the thing
stages of my life is probably the thing
stages of my life is probably the thing that I have ignored for way too long it
that I have ignored for way too long it
that I have ignored for way too long it has defined my life unknowingly and I
has defined my life unknowingly and I
has defined my life unknowingly and I want to take it and use it so that the
want to take it and use it so that the
want to take it and use it so that the rest of my life and the directions that
rest of my life and the directions that
rest of my life and the directions that I take will lead to a life that will be
I take will lead to a life that will be
I take will lead to a life that will be meaningful and happy for me and I hope
meaningful and happy for me and I hope
meaningful and happy for me and I hope that University start to grasp this
that University start to grasp this
that University start to grasp this concept with their students suffering
concept with their students suffering
concept with their students suffering and being miserable that we don’t just
and being miserable that we don’t just
and being miserable that we don’t just talk about jobs and grade point averages
talk about jobs and grade point averages
talk about jobs and grade point averages and graduate schools but the quality of
and graduate schools but the quality of
and graduate schools but the quality of person that we are graduating so with
person that we are graduating so with
person that we are graduating so with that I would like to say I hope that for
that I would like to say I hope that for
that I would like to say I hope that for all of you may the force be with you
all of you may the force be with you
all of you may the force be with you thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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