to whom this may concern soon I’ll be decayed burned and in an
soon I’ll be decayed burned and in an
soon I’ll be decayed burned and in an urn my mama always told me suicide was
urn my mama always told me suicide was
urn my mama always told me suicide was no jumping I choked up at the sound of
no jumping I choked up at the sound of
no jumping I choked up at the sound of the 7-letter word her fill my heart
the 7-letter word her fill my heart
the 7-letter word her fill my heart inflicted by the urge to overdose my
inflicted by the urge to overdose my
inflicted by the urge to overdose my animal stops recorded into my temples
animal stops recorded into my temples
animal stops recorded into my temples walls by nightfall these hieroglyphs
walls by nightfall these hieroglyphs
walls by nightfall these hieroglyphs would ooze read the ludovic tears and my
would ooze read the ludovic tears and my
would ooze read the ludovic tears and my handkerchief kissing the lips of a
handkerchief kissing the lips of a
handkerchief kissing the lips of a bottle of booze for clothes another
bottle of booze for clothes another
bottle of booze for clothes another endless never-ending sorrow – I try to
endless never-ending sorrow – I try to
endless never-ending sorrow – I try to drown my demons but they knew how to
drown my demons but they knew how to
drown my demons but they knew how to swim so it said I became possessed
swim so it said I became possessed
swim so it said I became possessed beginning every write my history going
beginning every write my history going
beginning every write my history going to war within words like worthless
to war within words like worthless
to war within words like worthless that’s amore and braced to unseen
that’s amore and braced to unseen
that’s amore and braced to unseen crevices of my skin and I lost a battle
crevices of my skin and I lost a battle
crevices of my skin and I lost a battle at the war I can’t take this anymore I’m
at the war I can’t take this anymore I’m
at the war I can’t take this anymore I’m sorry by the thought of waking up in the
sorry by the thought of waking up in the
sorry by the thought of waking up in the morning what am i decided to live in its
morning what am i decided to live in its
morning what am i decided to live in its entirety don’t prove them pick up my old
entirety don’t prove them pick up my old
entirety don’t prove them pick up my old Paisley reflection I can’t breathe I
Paisley reflection I can’t breathe I
Paisley reflection I can’t breathe I can’t anymore I’m sorry
can’t anymore I’m sorry
can’t anymore I’m sorry sincerely behold me you don’t know the
sincerely behold me you don’t know the
sincerely behold me you don’t know the weight of what you’ve been holding on to
weight of what you’ve been holding on to
weight of what you’ve been holding on to until you feel its release my breakdown
until you feel its release my breakdown
until you feel its release my breakdown was my breakthrough to that night I
was my breakthrough to that night I
was my breakthrough to that night I realized life challenges can’t paralyze
realized life challenges can’t paralyze
realized life challenges can’t paralyze me see those obstacles will make for
me see those obstacles will make for
me see those obstacles will make for self-discovery
self-discovery
self-discovery so like Curious George I explore with
so like Curious George I explore with
so like Curious George I explore with him while I’m furiously forward to my
him while I’m furiously forward to my
him while I’m furiously forward to my poor internal demons in regions like my
poor internal demons in regions like my
poor internal demons in regions like my heart where I reclaim stone the land and
heart where I reclaim stone the land and
heart where I reclaim stone the land and learn lessons school never taught me you
learn lessons school never taught me you
learn lessons school never taught me you see pain it’s only a feeling we attach
see pain it’s only a feeling we attach
see pain it’s only a feeling we attach stories to when you manifest the way you
stories to when you manifest the way you
stories to when you manifest the way you look at things the things you look at
look at things the things you look at
look at things the things you look at change and that’s where not changed and
change and that’s where not changed and
change and that’s where not changed and things started making more sense see
things started making more sense see
things started making more sense see happiness is a choice and so was every
happiness is a choice and so was every
happiness is a choice and so was every other emotion my past doesn’t define me
other emotion my past doesn’t define me
other emotion my past doesn’t define me or you or you even the only enemy that
or you or you even the only enemy that
or you or you even the only enemy that exists lies within
exists lies within
exists lies within therefore I can only hurt myself no one
therefore I can only hurt myself no one
therefore I can only hurt myself no one else so that’s when I got introspective
else so that’s when I got introspective
else so that’s when I got introspective and got to know me showering itself love
and got to know me showering itself love
and got to know me showering itself love find them I and a glow slowly killing my
find them I and a glow slowly killing my
find them I and a glow slowly killing my ego and victimized my said these
ego and victimized my said these
ego and victimized my said these concepts should be easy to grasp when
concepts should be easy to grasp when
concepts should be easy to grasp when you understand that life is 1% what
you understand that life is 1% what
you understand that life is 1% what occurred the 99
occurred the 99
occurred the 99 how we react external events can’t
how we react external events can’t
how we react external events can’t govern our internal condition listen if
govern our internal condition listen if
govern our internal condition listen if you’re hunting for that one person to
you’re hunting for that one person to
you’re hunting for that one person to gather your broken pieces and transform
gather your broken pieces and transform
gather your broken pieces and transform your life look in the mirror and realize
your life look in the mirror and realize
your life look in the mirror and realize that the instruction and guide lies in
that the instruction and guide lies in
that the instruction and guide lies in you I know a proof of myself before
you I know a proof of myself before
you I know a proof of myself before others had the chance to I’m a longer
others had the chance to I’m a longer
others had the chance to I’m a longer live in fear because fear equals false
live in fear because fear equals false
live in fear because fear equals false evidence appearing real and sad I use
evidence appearing real and sad I use
evidence appearing real and sad I use that to learn I got into in my mind body
that to learn I got into in my mind body
that to learn I got into in my mind body and spirit there’s joy that’s not
and spirit there’s joy that’s not
and spirit there’s joy that’s not radiated from me it’s coaching you
radiated from me it’s coaching you
radiated from me it’s coaching you Quincy mitosis is chakras that shocked
Quincy mitosis is chakras that shocked
Quincy mitosis is chakras that shocked me back into reality my books shake my
me back into reality my books shake my
me back into reality my books shake my current world there’s no need for me to
current world there’s no need for me to
current world there’s no need for me to search anymore
search anymore
search anymore I adore this wonderful creation the
I adore this wonderful creation the
I adore this wonderful creation the universe slave though they order to
universe slave though they order to
universe slave though they order to bring it into existence there is nothing
bring it into existence there is nothing
bring it into existence there is nothing here that is not me I am an eternal
here that is not me I am an eternal
here that is not me I am an eternal connectivity I have achieved the
connectivity I have achieved the
connectivity I have achieved the impossible my history or no longer
impossible my history or no longer
impossible my history or no longer repeats
repeats
repeats imma back in time and accepted it I
imma back in time and accepted it I
imma back in time and accepted it I redesigned my futures blueprints this
redesigned my futures blueprints this
redesigned my futures blueprints this butterfly has escaped that’s all
butterfly has escaped that’s all
butterfly has escaped that’s all coca-cola reborn into someone new I see
coca-cola reborn into someone new I see
coca-cola reborn into someone new I see the world through a new set of eyes my
the world through a new set of eyes my
the world through a new set of eyes my senses are high and it’s a bit
senses are high and it’s a bit
senses are high and it’s a bit frightening I can bear my beautiful
frightening I can bear my beautiful
frightening I can bear my beautiful reflection bear I don’t care what others
reflection bear I don’t care what others
reflection bear I don’t care what others have to say about me because their
have to say about me because their
have to say about me because their opinion is only a reflection of
opinion is only a reflection of
opinion is only a reflection of themselves and I am at peace with me I
themselves and I am at peace with me I
themselves and I am at peace with me I never knew I never knew if I could fall
never knew I never knew if I could fall
never knew I never knew if I could fall in love with anything other than the
in love with anything other than the
in love with anything other than the baton suicide got my restless refused in
baton suicide got my restless refused in
baton suicide got my restless refused in a waste a second on my new life
a waste a second on my new life
a waste a second on my new life please remember that without the dark
please remember that without the dark
please remember that without the dark you can’t ever truly know the light and
you can’t ever truly know the light and
you can’t ever truly know the light and lastly when you rise each morning never
lastly when you rise each morning never
lastly when you rise each morning never forget to show gratitude for receiving
forget to show gratitude for receiving
forget to show gratitude for receiving the precious privilege of being alive
the precious privilege of being alive
the precious privilege of being alive think breathe laugh and love sincerely
so before I start let’s kind of all take
so before I start let’s kind of all take a deep breath I kind of needed that
a deep breath I kind of needed that
a deep breath I kind of needed that today so there was a study done by
today so there was a study done by
today so there was a study done by brogni where a woman who worked with the
brogni where a woman who worked with the
brogni where a woman who worked with the elderly that were on their deathbed and
elderly that were on their deathbed and
elderly that were on their deathbed and she documented their top five regrets
she documented their top five regrets
she documented their top five regrets before dying and here’s what the number
before dying and here’s what the number
before dying and here’s what the number one regret was and I quote I wish I’d
one regret was and I quote I wish I’d
one regret was and I quote I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to
had the courage to live a life true to
had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of
myself not the life others expected of
myself not the life others expected of me let me repeat that
me let me repeat that
me let me repeat that I wish I’d had the courage to live a
I wish I’d had the courage to live a
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others
life true to myself not the life others
life true to myself not the life others expected of me and I wish I had come
expected of me and I wish I had come
expected of me and I wish I had come across this list when I was a kid now
across this list when I was a kid now
across this list when I was a kid now you’re probably thinking why the heck
you’re probably thinking why the heck
you’re probably thinking why the heck would she have wanted to know these
would she have wanted to know these
would she have wanted to know these things as a kid well as a child through
things as a kid well as a child through
things as a kid well as a child through my teenage years I got into things like
my teenage years I got into things like
my teenage years I got into things like musical theater student government
musical theater student government
musical theater student government newspaper Club and so much more and all
newspaper Club and so much more and all
newspaper Club and so much more and all of those things are great and all but a
of those things are great and all but a
of those things are great and all but a few months ago back in October I sat
few months ago back in October I sat
few months ago back in October I sat down and I asked myself Who am I
down and I asked myself Who am I
down and I asked myself Who am I because most of us will take the time to
because most of us will take the time to
because most of us will take the time to self reflect like that we don’t take the
self reflect like that we don’t take the
self reflect like that we don’t take the time to evaluate ourselves and our lives
time to evaluate ourselves and our lives
time to evaluate ourselves and our lives and ask ourselves questions we don’t get
and ask ourselves questions we don’t get
and ask ourselves questions we don’t get asked on a daily basis so again a few
asked on a daily basis so again a few
asked on a daily basis so again a few months ago I sat down and I asked myself
months ago I sat down and I asked myself
months ago I sat down and I asked myself Who am I not just who am i but Who am I
Who am I not just who am i but Who am I
Who am I not just who am i but Who am I really
really
really and I reflected back into my childhood I
and I reflected back into my childhood I
and I reflected back into my childhood I started kind of peeling off those layers
started kind of peeling off those layers
started kind of peeling off those layers of social conditioning and I came to
of social conditioning and I came to
of social conditioning and I came to find out that the person I swore up and
find out that the person I swore up and
find out that the person I swore up and down I was up until that day was not who
down I was up until that day was not who
down I was up until that day was not who I really was at all was not who I really
I really was at all was not who I really
I really was at all was not who I really was at all now as I had mentioned before
was at all now as I had mentioned before
was at all now as I had mentioned before I had gotten into theater stood a
I had gotten into theater stood a
I had gotten into theater stood a government newspaper Club and I came to
government newspaper Club and I came to
government newspaper Club and I came to realize that I was doing those things
realize that I was doing those things
realize that I was doing those things not for me but for the acceptance of my
not for me but for the acceptance of my
not for me but for the acceptance of my parents and my peers which is why I was
parents and my peers which is why I was
parents and my peers which is why I was never satisfied which is why I fell into
never satisfied which is why I fell into
never satisfied which is why I fell into the question which is why I let myself
the question which is why I let myself
the question which is why I let myself to self-destructive tendencies and I
to self-destructive tendencies and I
to self-destructive tendencies and I didn’t realize it until I sat down and
didn’t realize it until I sat down and
didn’t realize it until I sat down and thought about it that day I asked myself
thought about it that day I asked myself
thought about it that day I asked myself things like are my interests even mine
things like are my interests even mine
things like are my interests even mine my passions go away just with my current
my passions go away just with my current
my passions go away just with my current career path or my passions even mine for
career path or my passions even mine for
career path or my passions even mine for I work whatever jobs that work for me or
I work whatever jobs that work for me or
I work whatever jobs that work for me or because this is what some
because this is what some
because this is what some thinks it’s best me or what someone else
thinks it’s best me or what someone else
thinks it’s best me or what someone else wants me to do you really have to sit
wants me to do you really have to sit
wants me to do you really have to sit down and think this is your life you
down and think this is your life you
down and think this is your life you wake up every morning in your body you
wake up every morning in your body you
wake up every morning in your body you take a walk in your own shoes you look
take a walk in your own shoes you look
take a walk in your own shoes you look in the mirror and this is your body this
in the mirror and this is your body this
in the mirror and this is your body this is your life are you living it for you
is your life are you living it for you
is your life are you living it for you or are you living it for other people
or are you living it for other people
or are you living it for other people all of these other people that you’re
all of these other people that you’re
all of these other people that you’re trying to gain acceptance from do not
trying to gain acceptance from do not
trying to gain acceptance from do not live your life they don’t wake up in
live your life they don’t wake up in
live your life they don’t wake up in your body that’ll take the walk in your
your body that’ll take the walk in your
your body that’ll take the walk in your shoes they don’t carry out your daily
shoes they don’t carry out your daily
shoes they don’t carry out your daily activities or work your job therefore
activities or work your job therefore
activities or work your job therefore you shouldn’t be living your life based
you shouldn’t be living your life based
you shouldn’t be living your life based off of what other people say or expect
off of what other people say or expect
off of what other people say or expect from you you should be living in your
from you you should be living in your
from you you should be living in your true authenticity and if you’re not
true authenticity and if you’re not
true authenticity and if you’re not living a life true to yourself deep down
living a life true to yourself deep down
living a life true to yourself deep down you’re going to be bitter and I hate to
you’re going to be bitter and I hate to
you’re going to be bitter and I hate to break it to you when you can be in
break it to you when you can be in
break it to you when you can be in denial about this all you want but
denial about this all you want but
denial about this all you want but you’re going to be miserable and I know
you’re going to be miserable and I know
you’re going to be miserable and I know this from experience look I’m not here
this from experience look I’m not here
this from experience look I’m not here to tell you what you want to hear I’m
to tell you what you want to hear I’m
to tell you what you want to hear I’m here to tell you the cold hard truth I
here to tell you the cold hard truth I
here to tell you the cold hard truth I want you all to realize that someone who
want you all to realize that someone who
want you all to realize that someone who isn’t living a life true to themselves
isn’t living a life true to themselves
isn’t living a life true to themselves is not living their merely existing let
is not living their merely existing let
is not living their merely existing let me repeat that
me repeat that
me repeat that someone who was not living a life true
someone who was not living a life true
someone who was not living a life true to themselves is not living they are
to themselves is not living they are
to themselves is not living they are merely existing living a life for
merely existing living a life for
merely existing living a life for someone else is not living working a job
someone else is not living working a job
someone else is not living working a job or nine-to-five that you’re not
or nine-to-five that you’re not
or nine-to-five that you’re not passionate about is not living changing
passionate about is not living changing
passionate about is not living changing the way you act speak or dress for the
the way you act speak or dress for the
the way you act speak or dress for the acceptance of others is not living
acceptance of others is not living
acceptance of others is not living varying your talents shoving them
varying your talents shoving them
varying your talents shoving them neglecting your troop assets is not
neglecting your troop assets is not
neglecting your troop assets is not living let’s face it the life you’re
living let’s face it the life you’re
living let’s face it the life you’re probably living right now it’s not
probably living right now it’s not
probably living right now it’s not living and I came to that realization a
living and I came to that realization a
living and I came to that realization a few months ago I was doing what others
few months ago I was doing what others
few months ago I was doing what others wanted me to do to make them proud of me
wanted me to do to make them proud of me
wanted me to do to make them proud of me I wasn’t living a life that I wanted and
I wasn’t living a life that I wanted and
I wasn’t living a life that I wanted and I needed to change so I step back and I
I needed to change so I step back and I
I needed to change so I step back and I thought to myself these things that I’m
thought to myself these things that I’m
thought to myself these things that I’m doing this life that I’m living is this
doing this life that I’m living is this
doing this life that I’m living is this really me or is this what others want
really me or is this what others want
really me or is this what others want and expect from me
and expect from me
and expect from me and as a kid I’m gonna have the mental
and as a kid I’m gonna have the mental
and as a kid I’m gonna have the mental capacity to choose whether I wanted to
capacity to choose whether I wanted to
capacity to choose whether I wanted to do these things or not my parents were
do these things or not my parents were
do these things or not my parents were kind of just tell me to do something or
kind of just tell me to do something or
kind of just tell me to do something or put something in front of my face and
put something in front of my face and
put something in front of my face and I’d be like okay mommy okay daddy
I’d be like okay mommy okay daddy
I’d be like okay mommy okay daddy because that’s what’s expected of us as
because that’s what’s expected of us as
because that’s what’s expected of us as children and that’s okay I came to terms
children and that’s okay I came to terms
children and that’s okay I came to terms with that I didn’t put the blame on
with that I didn’t put the blame on
with that I didn’t put the blame on other people because I was merely a
other people because I was merely a
other people because I was merely a product
product
product my environment and not of my own
my environment and not of my own
my environment and not of my own evolution we’re really mad at at that
evolution we’re really mad at at that
evolution we’re really mad at at that plate was that I came to the realization
plate was that I came to the realization
plate was that I came to the realization I recognized the need for change and
I recognized the need for change and
I recognized the need for change and with that I have to learn to accept
with that I have to learn to accept
with that I have to learn to accept exchanges I was going to make because
exchanges I was going to make because
exchanges I was going to make because change is another ending journey as
change is another ending journey as
change is another ending journey as humans we’re constantly evolving our
humans we’re constantly evolving our
humans we’re constantly evolving our physical bodies our thought processes
physical bodies our thought processes
physical bodies our thought processes and even our brains are constantly
and even our brains are constantly
and even our brains are constantly changing therefore we need to learn to
changing therefore we need to learn to
changing therefore we need to learn to accept what is what was and what will be
accept what is what was and what will be
accept what is what was and what will be before we can even attempt to make a
before we can even attempt to make a
before we can even attempt to make a change and once I did that I could
change and once I did that I could
change and once I did that I could finally embrace all forms of change the
finally embrace all forms of change the
finally embrace all forms of change the poem that I performed when I first got
poem that I performed when I first got
poem that I performed when I first got on this stage was all about changes the
on this stage was all about changes the
on this stage was all about changes the changes I needed to make the ones I had
changes I needed to make the ones I had
changes I needed to make the ones I had made and the result from the changes I
made and the result from the changes I
made and the result from the changes I did make that was me trapped in a cocoon
did make that was me trapped in a cocoon
did make that was me trapped in a cocoon that society my environment as
that society my environment as
that society my environment as stereotypes forced me into and that was
stereotypes forced me into and that was
stereotypes forced me into and that was me breaking free from that show and
me breaking free from that show and
me breaking free from that show and transforming it to who I really am
transforming it to who I really am
transforming it to who I really am now maybe I can think this way because
now maybe I can think this way because
now maybe I can think this way because of my youth and your age doesn’t really
of my youth and your age doesn’t really
of my youth and your age doesn’t really matter age is an illusion but that’s not
matter age is an illusion but that’s not
matter age is an illusion but that’s not gonna say that right now try to remember
gonna say that right now try to remember
gonna say that right now try to remember when you were my age and you were
when you were my age and you were
when you were my age and you were opening your eyes to a world of change
opening your eyes to a world of change
opening your eyes to a world of change around me ladies and gentlemen change
around me ladies and gentlemen change
around me ladies and gentlemen change your thoughts and you change your world
your thoughts and you change your world
your thoughts and you change your world recognize me to change accept the change
recognize me to change accept the change
recognize me to change accept the change embrace the change thank you
embrace the change thank you
embrace the change thank you [Applause]
”
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