hi i’m helen and i am a daughter of a tiger mom i know what you might be
tiger mom i know what you might be
tiger mom i know what you might be thinking but this is not a tiger mom
thinking but this is not a tiger mom
thinking but this is not a tiger mom this is so the term Asian tiger
this is so the term Asian tiger
this is so the term Asian tiger parenting is popular or popularized
parenting is popular or popularized
parenting is popular or popularized because of the book Battle Hymn of the
because of the book Battle Hymn of the
because of the book Battle Hymn of the tiger mother written by a mutual in 2011
tiger mother written by a mutual in 2011
tiger mother written by a mutual in 2011 the term might sound funny but the
the term might sound funny but the
the term might sound funny but the concept is not far from reality
concept is not far from reality
concept is not far from reality Tigers are powerful creatures the tops
Tigers are powerful creatures the tops
Tigers are powerful creatures the tops of the animal poaching when you hear
of the animal poaching when you hear
of the animal poaching when you hear about these animals you tend to comb
about these animals you tend to comb
about these animals you tend to comb yourself in fear and intimidation as
yourself in fear and intimidation as
yourself in fear and intimidation as what figure pairs to – they are strict
what figure pairs to – they are strict
what figure pairs to – they are strict very strict and they are very very
very strict and they are very very
very strict and they are very very powerful and because of that the method
powerful and because of that the method
powerful and because of that the method is passed among generations in the
is passed among generations in the
is passed among generations in the Asians of study because of its
Asians of study because of its
Asians of study because of its effectiveness in shaping the child the
effectiveness in shaping the child the
effectiveness in shaping the child the way their parents want their child to be
way their parents want their child to be
way their parents want their child to be but because of that also types of
but because of that also types of
but because of that also types of media’s usually connote Asian tiger
media’s usually connote Asian tiger
media’s usually connote Asian tiger parenting as something self-deprecating
parenting as something self-deprecating
parenting as something self-deprecating and unemotional for those of you who do
and unemotional for those of you who do
and unemotional for those of you who do not experience this type of parenting
not experience this type of parenting
not experience this type of parenting and is curious enough to go on google
and is curious enough to go on google
and is curious enough to go on google this is a definition you might come
this is a definition you might come
this is a definition you might come across with a mother who is overly
across with a mother who is overly
across with a mother who is overly strict with her child in order to foster
strict with her child in order to foster
strict with her child in order to foster and academically competitive
and academically competitive
and academically competitive this form of upbringing is intended to
this form of upbringing is intended to
this form of upbringing is intended to direct the child hours financially
direct the child hours financially
direct the child hours financially successful careers and a potential risk
successful careers and a potential risk
successful careers and a potential risk of feeling emotionally unfulfilled or
of feeling emotionally unfulfilled or
of feeling emotionally unfulfilled or socially inept urban dictionary believe
socially inept urban dictionary believe
socially inept urban dictionary believe me this definition is the general
me this definition is the general
me this definition is the general mindset of many people who experience
mindset of many people who experience
mindset of many people who experience Asian Tiger parenting and the people who
Asian Tiger parenting and the people who
Asian Tiger parenting and the people who do not experience a go parenting I have
do not experience a go parenting I have
do not experience a go parenting I have to admit growing up in a traditional
to admit growing up in a traditional
to admit growing up in a traditional Asian family wasn’t easy I had a lot of
Asian family wasn’t easy I had a lot of
Asian family wasn’t easy I had a lot of resentment my parents sometimes because
resentment my parents sometimes because
resentment my parents sometimes because they do not give me a freedom of
they do not give me a freedom of
they do not give me a freedom of expression that I wanted to have they
expression that I wanted to have they
expression that I wanted to have they taught that getting an A in every single
taught that getting an A in every single
taught that getting an A in every single subject is the most responsibility thank
subject is the most responsibility thank
subject is the most responsibility thank you I know or violin are the only
you I know or violin are the only
you I know or violin are the only recreational options I would love to
recreational options I would love to
recreational options I would love to choose even though I do not really like
choose even though I do not really like
choose even though I do not really like them or to talk back to fail or acts of
them or to talk back to fail or acts of
them or to talk back to fail or acts of shame yes my parents helped me and I
shame yes my parents helped me and I
shame yes my parents helped me and I have a family reputation to protect
have a family reputation to protect
have a family reputation to protect but after 18 years couple booting and
but after 18 years couple booting and
but after 18 years couple booting and couple books I realized why Asian
couple books I realized why Asian
couple books I realized why Asian parents do what they do so today I am
parents do what they do so today I am
parents do what they do so today I am here with you to share my experience of
here with you to share my experience of
here with you to share my experience of how I evolved the misconceptions about
how I evolved the misconceptions about
how I evolved the misconceptions about Asian Tiger parenting since I was seven
Asian Tiger parenting since I was seven
Asian Tiger parenting since I was seven my parents had told me that I need to
my parents had told me that I need to
my parents had told me that I need to get aids in every single subject so as a
get aids in every single subject so as a
get aids in every single subject so as a child obviously I didn’t think a lot and
child obviously I didn’t think a lot and
child obviously I didn’t think a lot and I did to fulfill my parents expectations
I did to fulfill my parents expectations
I did to fulfill my parents expectations but as I grow older I ask myself what is
but as I grow older I ask myself what is
but as I grow older I ask myself what is the use of getting such good grades
the use of getting such good grades
the use of getting such good grades besides getting into
besides getting into
besides getting into at university and f/13 I found a bit of
at university and f/13 I found a bit of
at university and f/13 I found a bit of my answers I was introduced to
my answers I was introduced to
my answers I was introduced to Confucianism which is dated back
Confucianism which is dated back
Confucianism which is dated back thousands of years ago and this release
thousands of years ago and this release
thousands of years ago and this release have been in our blood and in our
have been in our blood and in our
have been in our blood and in our culture
culture
culture Confucius believes that every single
Confucius believes that every single
Confucius believes that every single knowledge that is earned must be used to
knowledge that is earned must be used to
knowledge that is earned must be used to achieve wisdom or the positions of sati
achieve wisdom or the positions of sati
achieve wisdom or the positions of sati respects and because of that he paints
respects and because of that he paints
respects and because of that he paints his ox at a pool of scholars who slurred
his ox at a pool of scholars who slurred
his ox at a pool of scholars who slurred as if there is not enough time as if
as if there is not enough time as if
as if there is not enough time as if there is not a point Venus and also I
there is not a point Venus and also I
there is not a point Venus and also I want to tell you that I am like any
want to tell you that I am like any
want to tell you that I am like any normal teenager is clueless of what she
normal teenager is clueless of what she
normal teenager is clueless of what she wants to do for the rest of her life I
wants to do for the rest of her life I
wants to do for the rest of her life I thought it can be a designer I can be an
thought it can be a designer I can be an
thought it can be a designer I can be an environmentalist I can be an educator I
environmentalist I can be an educator I
environmentalist I can be an educator I can be an entrepreneur so many jobs with
can be an entrepreneur so many jobs with
can be an entrepreneur so many jobs with so many subjects to learn and though and
so many subjects to learn and though and
so many subjects to learn and though and those subjects are so different but then
those subjects are so different but then
those subjects are so different but then this fear keeps going to my life I was
this fear keeps going to my life I was
this fear keeps going to my life I was so confused so I have to consult my
so confused so I have to consult my
so confused so I have to consult my parents and my parents told me that you
parents and my parents told me that you
parents and my parents told me that you must be mature enough to be responsible
must be mature enough to be responsible
must be mature enough to be responsible for your own decisions and it hit me the
for your own decisions and it hit me the
for your own decisions and it hit me the misconceptions of Asian tiger parents
misconceptions of Asian tiger parents
misconceptions of Asian tiger parents that do not care about their child’s
that do not care about their child’s
that do not care about their child’s aspiration I think that tiger parents
aspiration I think that tiger parents
aspiration I think that tiger parents still care about their shafts
still care about their shafts
still care about their shafts aspirations because throughout the
aspirations because throughout the
aspirations because throughout the process I learned that my parents
process I learned that my parents
process I learned that my parents pushing me to get aids is a way I
pushing me to get aids is a way I
pushing me to get aids is a way I and learn to be considerate about
and learn to be considerate about
and learn to be considerate about everything I know and my parents pushing
everything I know and my parents pushing
everything I know and my parents pushing me with such high expectations is a way
me with such high expectations is a way
me with such high expectations is a way I learned three ambitious and to be
I learned three ambitious and to be
I learned three ambitious and to be confident to overcome my obstacles
habits can be formed in couple months
habits can be formed in couple months but something like ethics
but something like ethics
but something like ethics characteristics such as perseverance all
characteristics such as perseverance all
characteristics such as perseverance all the mentality to tackle challenges are
the mentality to tackle challenges are
the mentality to tackle challenges are the things that must be taught since
the things that must be taught since
the things that must be taught since birth and that’s why Asian tiger parents
birth and that’s why Asian tiger parents
birth and that’s why Asian tiger parents felt the responsibility to teach these
felt the responsibility to teach these
felt the responsibility to teach these kids about the foundations that would
kids about the foundations that would
kids about the foundations that would make their life successful and I also
make their life successful and I also
make their life successful and I also have one question I never forget how my
have one question I never forget how my
have one question I never forget how my parents would tell me those words and
parents would tell me those words and
parents would tell me those words and phrases that would make me feel
phrases that would make me feel
phrases that would make me feel incompetent like you’re not good enough
incompetent like you’re not good enough
incompetent like you’re not good enough why would they go to that extent so
why would they go to that extent so
why would they go to that extent so frequently it brings me to my next story
every day Tet holiday me and my family
every day Tet holiday me and my family back to my hometown which is Hanoi meet
back to my hometown which is Hanoi meet
back to my hometown which is Hanoi meet my friends and my family friends and my
my friends and my family friends and my
my friends and my family friends and my love relatives we usually start with
love relatives we usually start with
love relatives we usually start with this tradition called the Battle of the
this tradition called the Battle of the
this tradition called the Battle of the racks and
which means that we put our child as
which means that we put our child as subject our pretentious games this is
subject our pretentious games this is
subject our pretentious games this is how your conversation would go parenting
how your conversation would go parenting
how your conversation would go parenting my child to start a piano 5 and she
my child to start a piano 5 and she
my child to start a piano 5 and she learned every hard piece in just 2 days
learned every hard piece in just 2 days
learned every hard piece in just 2 days parents beat oh really
parents beat oh really
parents beat oh really my son participates in the piano program
my son participates in the piano program
my son participates in the piano program from England it receives a great
from England it receives a great
from England it receives a great certificates every year parent a well
certificates every year parent a well
certificates every year parent a well she has been in competitions before
she has been in competitions before
she has been in competitions before apparently sit back huh
apparently sit back huh
apparently sit back huh my son has appeared on TV has your
my son has appeared on TV has your
my son has appeared on TV has your daughter a parent evening this is a
daughter a parent evening this is a
daughter a parent evening this is a demonstration of how a child would be
demonstration of how a child would be
demonstration of how a child would be used as a subject through their
used as a subject through their
used as a subject through their presenters games because children are
presenters games because children are
presenters games because children are reflections of parents all abilities and
reflections of parents all abilities and
reflections of parents all abilities and the and the living proof of family noble
the and the living proof of family noble
the and the living proof of family noble background and that’s why parents would
background and that’s why parents would
background and that’s why parents would try their best to push every
try their best to push every
try their best to push every achievements escape so the child lack of
achievements escape so the child lack of
achievements escape so the child lack of ability and failure won’t be pulled out
ability and failure won’t be pulled out
ability and failure won’t be pulled out by other people and get shame I am NOT
by other people and get shame I am NOT
by other people and get shame I am NOT exaggeration and I’m not exaggerating
exaggeration and I’m not exaggerating
exaggeration and I’m not exaggerating this is just a small part of what we
this is just a small part of what we
this is just a small part of what we experience in our Asian community on a
experience in our Asian community on a
experience in our Asian community on a daily basis and
it’s kind of hairy because confus
it’s kind of hairy because confus Confucius is so into the emphasis of
Confucius is so into the emphasis of
Confucius is so into the emphasis of social titles and overachievement
social titles and overachievement
social titles and overachievement that we Asians
that we Asians
that we Asians built this book study based on
built this book study based on
built this book study based on comparison humiliation and pride but it
comparison humiliation and pride but it
comparison humiliation and pride but it is also to show you that even if your
is also to show you that even if your
is also to show you that even if your parents do not anger or stand on you
parents do not anger or stand on you
parents do not anger or stand on you other people will so your parents would
other people will so your parents would
other people will so your parents would rather be the first people to degrade
rather be the first people to degrade
rather be the first people to degrade you so you would feel that you are
you so you would feel that you are
you so you would feel that you are mentally prepared for harsh criticisms
mentally prepared for harsh criticisms
mentally prepared for harsh criticisms instead of seeing you in your mid-20s in
instead of seeing you in your mid-20s in
instead of seeing you in your mid-20s in the 30s shot I have okay how excited I
the 30s shot I have okay how excited I
the 30s shot I have okay how excited I mean so cool and that’s why Asian
mean so cool and that’s why Asian
mean so cool and that’s why Asian parents never want to harm a child
parents never want to harm a child
parents never want to harm a child emotionally but all they want is to
emotionally but all they want is to
emotionally but all they want is to teach their child on how to be mentally
teach their child on how to be mentally
teach their child on how to be mentally strong so whenever they go out there to
strong so whenever they go out there to
strong so whenever they go out there to the real world which is so scary they
the real world which is so scary they
the real world which is so scary they would overcome obstacles misconception
would overcome obstacles misconception
would overcome obstacles misconception number three I got parenting harms the
number three I got parenting harms the
number three I got parenting harms the relationship between a child and the
relationship between a child and the
relationship between a child and the parent hey if I just like my parents so
parent hey if I just like my parents so
parent hey if I just like my parents so badly
badly
badly I would have not stand here in front of
I would have not stand here in front of
I would have not stand here in front of you guys talking about how good Asian
you guys talking about how good Asian
you guys talking about how good Asian parenting is so even though we in our
parenting is so even though we in our
parenting is so even though we in our family and probably in other Asian tiger
family and probably in other Asian tiger
family and probably in other Asian tiger families had a lot of conflicts let’s
families had a lot of conflicts let’s
families had a lot of conflicts let’s have it
have it
have it having tennis league we also treat with
having tennis league we also treat with
having tennis league we also treat with forgiveness my mom you
forgiveness my mom you
forgiveness my mom you we does not let me go to hang out with
we does not let me go to hang out with
we does not let me go to hang out with my friends we go to parties what I
my friends we go to parties what I
my friends we go to parties what I learned to appreciate at micromanagement
learned to appreciate at micromanagement
learned to appreciate at micromanagement on daily basis just because for every
on daily basis just because for every
on daily basis just because for every single time he prohibits me to go to
single time he prohibits me to go to
single time he prohibits me to go to these parties but to go hang out with my
these parties but to go hang out with my
these parties but to go hang out with my friends I have an extra time with my
friends I have an extra time with my
friends I have an extra time with my family so maybe at 13 I would be crazy
family so maybe at 13 I would be crazy
family so maybe at 13 I would be crazy so crazy because my mom always tells me
so crazy because my mom always tells me
so crazy because my mom always tells me that I need to tell her where am I going
that I need to tell her where am I going
that I need to tell her where am I going Who am I going with when am i coming
Who am I going with when am i coming
Who am I going with when am i coming back and update her every single hour on
back and update her every single hour on
back and update her every single hour on what I’m doing but when I get to 18 I do
what I’m doing but when I get to 18 I do
what I’m doing but when I get to 18 I do not have to tell my parents so I would
not have to tell my parents so I would
not have to tell my parents so I would be able to go wherever I go and do
be able to go wherever I go and do
be able to go wherever I go and do whatever I can but I’m not going to go
whatever I can but I’m not going to go
whatever I can but I’m not going to go home that much as many as before and for
home that much as many as before and for
home that much as many as before and for every even if I am NOT gossiping with my
every even if I am NOT gossiping with my
every even if I am NOT gossiping with my friends I am here talking with my mother
friends I am here talking with my mother
friends I am here talking with my mother about her daily stories even if I am NOT
about her daily stories even if I am NOT
about her daily stories even if I am NOT walking to the mall I am staying at home
walking to the mall I am staying at home
walking to the mall I am staying at home eating with eating dinner with my dad
eating with eating dinner with my dad
eating with eating dinner with my dad who is super busy and only stays at home
who is super busy and only stays at home
who is super busy and only stays at home at least three days a week
at least three days a week
at least three days a week and for every time I am NOT going to the
and for every time I am NOT going to the
and for every time I am NOT going to the arcade I am at home playing charades
arcade I am at home playing charades
arcade I am at home playing charades with my brother and those are such
with my brother and those are such
with my brother and those are such precious memories my brother actually
precious memories my brother actually
precious memories my brother actually teaches me a lot about how I can love my
teaches me a lot about how I can love my
teaches me a lot about how I can love my parents more because every year he would
parents more because every year he would
parents more because every year he would try his best to find the perfect gifts
try his best to find the perfect gifts
try his best to find the perfect gifts on my parents at least once and this
on my parents at least once and this
on my parents at least once and this year he is planning
year he is planning
year he is planning to make a card of gratitude don’t tell
to make a card of gratitude don’t tell
to make a card of gratitude don’t tell my parents it’s a secret but loving
my parents it’s a secret but loving
my parents it’s a secret but loving actually like these does not come from
actually like these does not come from
actually like these does not come from obligations or dislikes it comes from
obligations or dislikes it comes from
obligations or dislikes it comes from true intentions and love and my brother
true intentions and love and my brother
true intentions and love and my brother at age 11 have understood so well why my
at age 11 have understood so well why my
at age 11 have understood so well why my parents do what they do and they tell
parents do what they do and they tell
parents do what they do and they tell your parents so what can you take out
your parents so what can you take out
your parents so what can you take out for this talk honestly I don’t know
for this talk honestly I don’t know
for this talk honestly I don’t know because I do not have the power to
because I do not have the power to
because I do not have the power to control your mind like an Asian tiger
control your mind like an Asian tiger
control your mind like an Asian tiger parent just kidding you do I am just
parent just kidding you do I am just
parent just kidding you do I am just this one girl on her senior year own
this one girl on her senior year own
this one girl on her senior year own type of Tiger parenting speaking from my
type of Tiger parenting speaking from my
type of Tiger parenting speaking from my own perspective there are probably
own perspective there are probably
own perspective there are probably millions of children around the world
millions of children around the world
millions of children around the world who is who is experiencing this same
who is who is experiencing this same
who is who is experiencing this same type of parenting in a certain degree
type of parenting in a certain degree
type of parenting in a certain degree that’s why I plead for you to think and
that’s why I plead for you to think and
that’s why I plead for you to think and be more understanding of your parents
be more understanding of your parents
be more understanding of your parents intentions because every type of
intentions because every type of
intentions because every type of education has its methods its trials its
education has its methods its trials its
education has its methods its trials its alt and tender stop I have a confession
alt and tender stop I have a confession
alt and tender stop I have a confession to make
to make
to make I am extremely scared because I imagine
I am extremely scared because I imagine
I am extremely scared because I imagine people denying my own personal opinions
people denying my own personal opinions
people denying my own personal opinions because of how many articles I’ve seen a
because of how many articles I’ve seen a
because of how many articles I’ve seen a talk negatively about Tiger parenting
talk negatively about Tiger parenting
talk negatively about Tiger parenting but I know from the bottom of my heart
but I know from the bottom of my heart
but I know from the bottom of my heart that I am willing to scrape off this
that I am willing to scrape off this
that I am willing to scrape off this negativities on the surface of Tiger
negativities on the surface of Tiger
negativities on the surface of Tiger parenting and try to seek the true
parenting and try to seek the true
parenting and try to seek the true beauty behind it so my question to you
beauty behind it so my question to you
beauty behind it so my question to you is and you thank you
is and you thank you
is and you thank you you
you
you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment