I work as an ethicist despite what you think doesn’t mean that I do hair and
think doesn’t mean that I do hair and
think doesn’t mean that I do hair and nails what I do is help people make
nails what I do is help people make
nails what I do is help people make difficult choices like my dad has always
difficult choices like my dad has always
difficult choices like my dad has always been a fighter but he’s older now and
been a fighter but he’s older now and
been a fighter but he’s older now and he’s seriously ill and he stopped eating
he’s seriously ill and he stopped eating
he’s seriously ill and he stopped eating how should I respond or I’m a nurse or a
how should I respond or I’m a nurse or a
how should I respond or I’m a nurse or a health care provider and I’m asked to
health care provider and I’m asked to
health care provider and I’m asked to participate in a treatment that I
participate in a treatment that I
participate in a treatment that I disagree with or that puts me in harm’s
disagree with or that puts me in harm’s
disagree with or that puts me in harm’s way or how should we restrict the
way or how should we restrict the
way or how should we restrict the freedom of people who might have an
freedom of people who might have an
freedom of people who might have an infectious disease or who might just be
infectious disease or who might just be
infectious disease or who might just be coming into the country from a different
coming into the country from a different
coming into the country from a different country where that infectious disease is
country where that infectious disease is
country where that infectious disease is rampant and as I help people to think
rampant and as I help people to think
rampant and as I help people to think through these kinds of questions I
through these kinds of questions I
through these kinds of questions I realize that there are some challenges
realize that there are some challenges
realize that there are some challenges we face in our society today that makes
we face in our society today that makes
we face in our society today that makes this work even more difficult we live in
this work even more difficult we live in
this work even more difficult we live in the age of information and yet it’s
the age of information and yet it’s
the age of information and yet it’s amazing how little we know about each
amazing how little we know about each
amazing how little we know about each other our backgrounds our traditions our
other our backgrounds our traditions our
other our backgrounds our traditions our cultures and we have to overcome so much
cultures and we have to overcome so much
cultures and we have to overcome so much misinformation even to do that I think
misinformation even to do that I think
misinformation even to do that I think we call them alternative facts today and
we call them alternative facts today and
we call them alternative facts today and I also noticed that we in the age of the
I also noticed that we in the age of the
I also noticed that we in the age of the sound bite lack the patience to do the
sound bite lack the patience to do the
sound bite lack the patience to do the focused work we need to do to really
focused work we need to do to really
focused work we need to do to really understand each other and the world we
understand each other and the world we
understand each other and the world we live in and so when I think about it I
live in and so when I think about it I
live in and so when I think about it I realized that actually the most
realized that actually the most
realized that actually the most important job that I have is being a dad
important job that I have is being a dad
important job that I have is being a dad and with my wife helping our son figure
and with my wife helping our son figure
and with my wife helping our son figure out what does it mean to live well and
out what does it mean to live well and
out what does it mean to live well and what I’d like to share with you today is
what I’d like to share with you today is
what I’d like to share with you today is a way of thinking about this that I
a way of thinking about this that I
a way of thinking about this that I found helpful and it’s captured in the
found helpful and it’s captured in the
found helpful and it’s captured in the title I want to suggest that happiness
title I want to suggest that happiness
title I want to suggest that happiness is tied to the idea of integrity and
is tied to the idea of integrity and
is tied to the idea of integrity and living with integrity requires skills
living with integrity requires skills
living with integrity requires skills skills related to critical thinking and
skills related to critical thinking and
skills related to critical thinking and pluralism I’ve got it here as a simple
pluralism I’ve got it here as a simple
pluralism I’ve got it here as a simple form you
form you
form you to make it easy to remember integrity
to make it easy to remember integrity
to make it easy to remember integrity equals critical thinking plus pluralism
equals critical thinking plus pluralism
equals critical thinking plus pluralism to help explain my ideas I’d like to
to help explain my ideas I’d like to
to help explain my ideas I’d like to tell you an everyday story
tell you an everyday story
tell you an everyday story concerns my son this is a picture of my
concerns my son this is a picture of my
concerns my son this is a picture of my son Rafiq one day he and his friends
son Rafiq one day he and his friends
son Rafiq one day he and his friends were over and they were working really
were over and they were working really
were over and they were working really hard on a homework project and for the
hard on a homework project and for the
hard on a homework project and for the most of the day things were going really
most of the day things were going really
most of the day things were going really well and then in the afternoon all of a
well and then in the afternoon all of a
well and then in the afternoon all of a sudden we heard some raised voices we
sudden we heard some raised voices we
sudden we heard some raised voices we heard something falling it might have
heard something falling it might have
heard something falling it might have been thrown I don’t know
been thrown I don’t know
been thrown I don’t know and we went in to investigate him what
and we went in to investigate him what
and we went in to investigate him what we found is that the boys were working
we found is that the boys were working
we found is that the boys were working on creating a model and one of the parts
on creating a model and one of the parts
on creating a model and one of the parts for the model broke and they were
for the model broke and they were
for the model broke and they were disagreeing about what to do with about
disagreeing about what to do with about
disagreeing about what to do with about it
it
it one of the boys was saying let’s just
one of the boys was saying let’s just
one of the boys was saying let’s just use the broken piece and get get on with
use the broken piece and get get on with
use the broken piece and get get on with it
it
it let’s finish now no one’s even gonna
let’s finish now no one’s even gonna
let’s finish now no one’s even gonna notice one of the other boys were saying
notice one of the other boys were saying
notice one of the other boys were saying no it doesn’t matter how long it’s gonna
no it doesn’t matter how long it’s gonna
no it doesn’t matter how long it’s gonna take we need to do this properly that’s
take we need to do this properly that’s
take we need to do this properly that’s finished the refix ever fixed the piece
finished the refix ever fixed the piece
finished the refix ever fixed the piece and then used that in the model and the
and then used that in the model and the
and then used that in the model and the other boys actually just didn’t know
other boys actually just didn’t know
other boys actually just didn’t know what to do what was clear though was all
what to do what was clear though was all
what to do what was clear though was all of them were upset so I’m gonna use this
of them were upset so I’m gonna use this
of them were upset so I’m gonna use this story to unpack some of these ideas
story to unpack some of these ideas
story to unpack some of these ideas about integrity critical thinking and
about integrity critical thinking and
about integrity critical thinking and pluralism the first thing to say is that
pluralism the first thing to say is that
pluralism the first thing to say is that integrity from my perspective in very
integrity from my perspective in very
integrity from my perspective in very simple terms is walking our talk
simple terms is walking our talk
simple terms is walking our talk integrity happens when our understanding
integrity happens when our understanding
integrity happens when our understanding of what the world should look like
of what the world should look like
of what the world should look like matches up with the world the way the
matches up with the world the way the
matches up with the world the way the world actually is when the world looks
world actually is when the world looks
world actually is when the world looks the way we wanted to we think it should
the way we wanted to we think it should
the way we wanted to we think it should that’s what integrity is it’s about
that’s what integrity is it’s about
that’s what integrity is it’s about walking our talk and notice what’s going
walking our talk and notice what’s going
walking our talk and notice what’s going on in this story the boys are actually
on in this story the boys are actually
on in this story the boys are actually disagree they’re trying to figure out
disagree they’re trying to figure out
disagree they’re trying to figure out what should our talk actually be and
what should our talk actually be and
what should our talk actually be and this shouldn’t be surprising because all
this shouldn’t be surprising because all
this shouldn’t be surprising because all of us everyday
of us everyday
of us everyday face questions issues dilemmas where
face questions issues dilemmas where
face questions issues dilemmas where we’re trying to figure out what should
we’re trying to figure out what should
we’re trying to figure out what should our talk be and how should we actually
our talk be and how should we actually
our talk be and how should we actually walk it the other thing I want to say
walk it the other thing I want to say
walk it the other thing I want to say about integrity is that integrity is
about integrity is that integrity is
about integrity is that integrity is tied to our peace of mind consider this
tied to our peace of mind consider this
tied to our peace of mind consider this spectrum of photographs I want to
spectrum of photographs I want to
spectrum of photographs I want to suggest that all of us are somewhere on
suggest that all of us are somewhere on
suggest that all of us are somewhere on this spectrum and life is actually all
this spectrum and life is actually all
this spectrum and life is actually all about
about
about to move to the left side of the spectrum
to move to the left side of the spectrum
to move to the left side of the spectrum when we’re on the left side of the
when we’re on the left side of the
when we’re on the left side of the spectrum we understand what our talk
spectrum we understand what our talk
spectrum we understand what our talk should be we understand what the world
should be we understand what the world
should be we understand what the world should look like we understand what our
should look like we understand what our
should look like we understand what our talk should be and it’s actually coming
talk should be and it’s actually coming
talk should be and it’s actually coming out in our lives our lives are looking
out in our lives our lives are looking
out in our lives our lives are looking like the way we think they should look
like the way we think they should look
like the way we think they should look and when that happens we’re usually
and when that happens we’re usually
and when that happens we’re usually feeling things like calm peace maybe
feeling things like calm peace maybe
feeling things like calm peace maybe even joy and happiness when it’s the
even joy and happiness when it’s the
even joy and happiness when it’s the case that our talk is not lining up with
case that our talk is not lining up with
case that our talk is not lining up with the way the world actually is we’re on
the way the world actually is we’re on
the way the world actually is we’re on the right side of the spectrum we’re
the right side of the spectrum we’re
the right side of the spectrum we’re feeling this integrated we’re feeling
feeling this integrated we’re feeling
feeling this integrated we’re feeling torn apart and that shows up and
torn apart and that shows up and
torn apart and that shows up and feelings of sadness anger frustration
feelings of sadness anger frustration
feelings of sadness anger frustration powerlessness I think I thought the boys
powerlessness I think I thought the boys
powerlessness I think I thought the boys story again they’re feeling frustrated
story again they’re feeling frustrated
story again they’re feeling frustrated because they’re trying to figure out
because they’re trying to figure out
because they’re trying to figure out well what should we do though one of the
well what should we do though one of the
well what should we do though one of the things the guys that want something I
things the guys that want something I
things the guys that want something I want to finish quickly or I want to do a
want to finish quickly or I want to do a
want to finish quickly or I want to do a really good job are scared because
really good job are scared because
really good job are scared because they’re worried that what matters to
they’re worried that what matters to
they’re worried that what matters to them may not actually be where they land
them may not actually be where they land
them may not actually be where they land where they end up they’re feeling
where they end up they’re feeling
where they end up they’re feeling painful or painful feelings so I think
painful or painful feelings so I think
painful or painful feelings so I think Gandhi had it just right when he said
Gandhi had it just right when he said
Gandhi had it just right when he said happiness is when what you think what
happiness is when what you think what
happiness is when what you think what you say and what you do are in harmony
you say and what you do are in harmony
you say and what you do are in harmony there’s one more thing I want to say
there’s one more thing I want to say
there’s one more thing I want to say about integrity and that is the story is
about integrity and that is the story is
about integrity and that is the story is about Rafik and his classmates for sure
about Rafik and his classmates for sure
about Rafik and his classmates for sure they had their well-being on the line in
they had their well-being on the line in
they had their well-being on the line in the way that that made that decision was
the way that that made that decision was
the way that that made that decision was made but I want to suggest that so did I
made but I want to suggest that so did I
made but I want to suggest that so did I and so did my wife and I bet you that
and so did my wife and I bet you that
and so did my wife and I bet you that even though they weren’t there didn’t
even though they weren’t there didn’t
even though they weren’t there didn’t know about it the boy’s parents did and
know about it the boy’s parents did and
know about it the boy’s parents did and that their teacher did and the school
that their teacher did and the school
that their teacher did and the school did we actually all had skin in this
did we actually all had skin in this
did we actually all had skin in this game it mattered to us what this world
game it mattered to us what this world
game it mattered to us what this world should look like it mattered to us how
should look like it mattered to us how
should look like it mattered to us how it should unfold so when we think about
it should unfold so when we think about
it should unfold so when we think about working through these issues we have to
working through these issues we have to
working through these issues we have to recognize that all of us are actually
recognize that all of us are actually
recognize that all of us are actually involved so integrities about walking
involved so integrities about walking
involved so integrities about walking your talk well what does your talk made
your talk well what does your talk made
your talk well what does your talk made of how do we figure it out I want to
of how do we figure it out I want to
of how do we figure it out I want to suggest that our talk requires skills to
suggest that our talk requires skills to
suggest that our talk requires skills to figure out the skills of critical
figure out the skills of critical
figure out the skills of critical thinking and that’s because our talk is
thinking and that’s because our talk is
thinking and that’s because our talk is actually made up of at least three
actually made up of at least three
actually made up of at least three different dimensions values facts and
different dimensions values facts and
different dimensions values facts and our
our
our oceans our values in simple terms are
oceans our values in simple terms are
oceans our values in simple terms are really what matters to us what the world
really what matters to us what the world
really what matters to us what the world should look like what is important to us
should look like what is important to us
should look like what is important to us we already know that in the story it was
we already know that in the story it was
we already know that in the story it was important to the boys that they finish
important to the boys that they finish
important to the boys that they finish quickly or that they do a good job those
quickly or that they do a good job those
quickly or that they do a good job those were their values but those are kind of
were their values but those are kind of
were their values but those are kind of surface values that was the stuff that
surface values that was the stuff that
surface values that was the stuff that was important on the face of things
was important on the face of things
was important on the face of things things matter on the face of it because
things matter on the face of it because
things matter on the face of it because they give us deeper things that are at
they give us deeper things that are at
they give us deeper things that are at stake for us and we get there but so
stake for us and we get there but so
stake for us and we get there but so it’s these end purposes that values are
it’s these end purposes that values are
it’s these end purposes that values are really concerned with and the way we
really concerned with and the way we
really concerned with and the way we understand that is to ask the question
understand that is to ask the question
understand that is to ask the question well why is that important so yes why is
well why is that important so yes why is
well why is that important so yes why is it important we finish quickly
it important we finish quickly
it important we finish quickly and the boys might say well so we can
and the boys might say well so we can
and the boys might say well so we can avoid the pain of having to focus and
avoid the pain of having to focus and
avoid the pain of having to focus and concentrate for so long or maybe so we
concentrate for so long or maybe so we
concentrate for so long or maybe so we can go on play hockey and enjoy the
can go on play hockey and enjoy the
can go on play hockey and enjoy the pleasure that comes with physical
pleasure that comes with physical
pleasure that comes with physical exercise so those are the deeper things
exercise so those are the deeper things
exercise so those are the deeper things at stake avoiding the pain and enjoying
at stake avoiding the pain and enjoying
at stake avoiding the pain and enjoying pleasure on that story you might ask why
pleasure on that story you might ask why
pleasure on that story you might ask why is it important to do a good job well so
is it important to do a good job well so
is it important to do a good job well so we can do well in school so that’s the
we can do well in school so that’s the
we can do well in school so that’s the deeper values yes well why is that
deeper values yes well why is that
deeper values yes well why is that important
important
important well it’s important to do well in school
well it’s important to do well in school
well it’s important to do well in school so I can build the ability that school
so I can build the ability that school
so I can build the ability that school gives me to learn about the world or
gives me to learn about the world or
gives me to learn about the world or that I can do well in my in my if I can
that I can do well in my in my if I can
that I can do well in my in my if I can be successful in my career so I can
be successful in my career so I can
be successful in my career so I can serve my family and my community well so
serve my family and my community well so
serve my family and my community well so integrity requires walking our talk our
integrity requires walking our talk our
integrity requires walking our talk our talk requires the skill of understanding
talk requires the skill of understanding
talk requires the skill of understanding what should matter in life as we know
what should matter in life as we know
what should matter in life as we know she ate life’s problems
she ate life’s problems
she ate life’s problems the second dimension I want to point to
the second dimension I want to point to
the second dimension I want to point to is our understanding of what’s true
is our understanding of what’s true
is our understanding of what’s true about the world what’s going on in the
about the world what’s going on in the
about the world what’s going on in the world
world
world Rafik and the boys will need to figure
Rafik and the boys will need to figure
Rafik and the boys will need to figure out they’ll need to know how long it’s
out they’ll need to know how long it’s
out they’ll need to know how long it’s going to take to fix this part how much
going to take to fix this part how much
going to take to fix this part how much of this grade is actually gonna impact
of this grade is actually gonna impact
of this grade is actually gonna impact my final mark what else I could I be
my final mark what else I could I be
my final mark what else I could I be doing with the time that I’m devoting to
doing with the time that I’m devoting to
doing with the time that I’m devoting to this what am i realistic options no
this what am i realistic options no
this what am i realistic options no matter how passionate they are or how
matter how passionate they are or how
matter how passionate they are or how hard they work if they don’t get the
hard they work if they don’t get the
hard they work if they don’t get the facts right they’re not going to be able
facts right they’re not going to be able
facts right they’re not going to be able to make good choices but actually there
to make good choices but actually there
to make good choices but actually there are deeper beliefs that are also at
are deeper beliefs that are also at
are deeper beliefs that are also at stake in the way that they make these
stake in the way that they make these
stake in the way that they make these choices for example why the human beings
choices for example why the human beings
choices for example why the human beings have an intellect
have an intellect
have an intellect what’s the purpose of Education what’s
what’s the purpose of Education what’s
what’s the purpose of Education what’s the purpose of life all of these are
the purpose of life all of these are
the purpose of life all of these are actually impacted how are we connected
actually impacted how are we connected
actually impacted how are we connected to each other think about the commitment
to each other think about the commitment
to each other think about the commitment that the boys have to each other
that the boys have to each other
that the boys have to each other depending on what they believe about the
depending on what they believe about the
depending on what they believe about the way that they are connected to each
way that they are connected to each
way that they are connected to each other if they believe yes they have to
other if they believe yes they have to
other if they believe yes they have to do this project together they go to the
do this project together they go to the
do this project together they go to the same school maybe they are even
same school maybe they are even
same school maybe they are even neighbors but that’s really it otherwise
neighbors but that’s really it otherwise
neighbors but that’s really it otherwise they kind of bump into each other in the
they kind of bump into each other in the
they kind of bump into each other in the world the commitment they’re going to
world the commitment they’re going to
world the commitment they’re going to have to make sure that they get through
have to make sure that they get through
have to make sure that they get through this together is very different then if
this together is very different then if
this together is very different then if they believe something like they’re
they believe something like they’re
they believe something like they’re deeply connected spiritually they
deeply connected spiritually they
deeply connected spiritually they connect their that their their
connect their that their their
connect their that their their connection is actually a connection that
connection is actually a connection that
connection is actually a connection that goes beyond space and time all of a
goes beyond space and time all of a
goes beyond space and time all of a sudden that’s going to mean that they’re
sudden that’s going to mean that they’re
sudden that’s going to mean that they’re going to want each other to succeed
going to want each other to succeed
going to want each other to succeed because one success impacts the success
because one success impacts the success
because one success impacts the success of the other so integrity requires the
of the other so integrity requires the
of the other so integrity requires the ability to actually think through the
ability to actually think through the
ability to actually think through the facts at a more basic level as well as
facts at a more basic level as well as
facts at a more basic level as well as at a very deep level about our beliefs
at a very deep level about our beliefs
at a very deep level about our beliefs the third dimension of our talk I want
the third dimension of our talk I want
the third dimension of our talk I want to point to is our emotions we’re not
to point to is our emotions we’re not
to point to is our emotions we’re not just thinking and acting creatures we
just thinking and acting creatures we
just thinking and acting creatures we encounter life and this has an impact on
encounter life and this has an impact on
encounter life and this has an impact on our hearts and our bodies and when that
our hearts and our bodies and when that
our hearts and our bodies and when that impact is really painful and we don’t
impact is really painful and we don’t
impact is really painful and we don’t have the skills to process our feelings
have the skills to process our feelings
have the skills to process our feelings it can make it very difficult to think
it can make it very difficult to think
it can make it very difficult to think about facts and values if the boys are
about facts and values if the boys are
about facts and values if the boys are having this conversation and they’re so
having this conversation and they’re so
having this conversation and they’re so upset they’re blinded by that upset they
upset they’re blinded by that upset they
upset they’re blinded by that upset they can’t get past it they’re not actually
can’t get past it they’re not actually
can’t get past it they’re not actually going to be able to think about well
going to be able to think about well
going to be able to think about well what should really matter here or what
what should really matter here or what
what should really matter here or what is going on what is going on in the
is going on what is going on in the
is going on what is going on in the world not only that if it’s the case
world not only that if it’s the case
world not only that if it’s the case that they’re so taken by their emotions
that they’re so taken by their emotions
that they’re so taken by their emotions that they treat each other harmfully
that they treat each other harmfully
that they treat each other harmfully they say things that are going to hurt
they say things that are going to hurt
they say things that are going to hurt each other or they physically do things
each other or they physically do things
each other or they physically do things that are going to hurt each other
that are going to hurt each other
that are going to hurt each other realize that they’re going to actually
realize that they’re going to actually
realize that they’re going to actually create even bigger barriers that they
create even bigger barriers that they
create even bigger barriers that they have to overcome in order to figure out
have to overcome in order to figure out
have to overcome in order to figure out what their talk should be and how they
what their talk should be and how they
what their talk should be and how they should actually walk it so they need the
should actually walk it so they need the
should actually walk it so they need the skills of being able to understand their
skills of being able to understand their
skills of being able to understand their own emotions and process their own
own emotions and process their own
own emotions and process their own emotions and need the skills to be able
emotions and need the skills to be able
emotions and need the skills to be able to support their friends to do that
to support their friends to do that
to support their friends to do that as well this is the third set of skills
as well this is the third set of skills
as well this is the third set of skills related to critical thinking I want to
related to critical thinking I want to
related to critical thinking I want to point to so as these boys are trying to
point to so as these boys are trying to
point to so as these boys are trying to figure out how should we deal with the
figure out how should we deal with the
figure out how should we deal with the broken piece for our model notice that
broken piece for our model notice that
broken piece for our model notice that there are three conversations that
there are three conversations that
there are three conversations that they’re actually having a conversation
they’re actually having a conversation
they’re actually having a conversation about the facts the values and how
about the facts the values and how
about the facts the values and how they’re feeling about it and they need
they’re feeling about it and they need
they’re feeling about it and they need to be able to manage on all three levels
to be able to manage on all three levels
to be able to manage on all three levels if they’re going to successfully engage
if they’re going to successfully engage
if they’re going to successfully engage this this brings me to pluralism living
this this brings me to pluralism living
this this brings me to pluralism living with integrity is walking our talk in
with integrity is walking our talk in
with integrity is walking our talk in our talk is requires critically thinking
our talk is requires critically thinking
our talk is requires critically thinking about these different dimensions but the
about these different dimensions but the
about these different dimensions but the thing is the work we do to figure out
thing is the work we do to figure out
thing is the work we do to figure out our talk and to figure out how to walk
our talk and to figure out how to walk
our talk and to figure out how to walk it does not happen in isolation we go
it does not happen in isolation we go
it does not happen in isolation we go through life in relationship with other
through life in relationship with other
through life in relationship with other people Rafik has to go through this
people Rafik has to go through this
people Rafik has to go through this experience with his colleagues they have
experience with his colleagues they have
experience with his colleagues they have to go through it together what’s
to go through it together what’s
to go through it together what’s interesting about the world is more and
interesting about the world is more and
interesting about the world is more and more the people we have to go through
more the people we have to go through
more the people we have to go through life with look more and more different
life with look more and more different
life with look more and more different than we do more and more we live with
than we do more and more we live with
than we do more and more we live with work alongside and serve people who are
work alongside and serve people who are
work alongside and serve people who are different from us now you might say this
different from us now you might say this
different from us now you might say this is too bad that in fact it’s you know
is too bad that in fact it’s you know
is too bad that in fact it’s you know this diversity creates a challenge and I
this diversity creates a challenge and I
this diversity creates a challenge and I wish that we didn’t have to deal with it
wish that we didn’t have to deal with it
wish that we didn’t have to deal with it I believe that integrity actually
I believe that integrity actually
I believe that integrity actually requires diversity because to figure out
requires diversity because to figure out
requires diversity because to figure out what I think should matter in life I
what I think should matter in life I
what I think should matter in life I need to articulate these things and
need to articulate these things and
need to articulate these things and share my thinking my perspective with
share my thinking my perspective with
share my thinking my perspective with others and if they’re different they’re
others and if they’re different they’re
others and if they’re different they’re able to give me an alternate perspective
able to give me an alternate perspective
able to give me an alternate perspective on my own view of the world they might
on my own view of the world they might
on my own view of the world they might have a different view that I can
have a different view that I can
have a different view that I can actually learn from so I need difference
actually learn from so I need difference
actually learn from so I need difference in order to figure out in a rich way
in order to figure out in a rich way
in order to figure out in a rich way what my talk actually is what talk I
what my talk actually is what talk I
what my talk actually is what talk I want to live in my life every day now in
want to live in my life every day now in
want to live in my life every day now in order to take advantage of diversity I
order to take advantage of diversity I
order to take advantage of diversity I need to be able to make myself
need to be able to make myself
need to be able to make myself vulnerable I need to be able to tell
vulnerable I need to be able to tell
vulnerable I need to be able to tell someone this is I’m struggling with this
someone this is I’m struggling with this
someone this is I’m struggling with this and this is what I think and I need to
and this is what I think and I need to
and this is what I think and I need to know
know
know so there’s another two
so there’s another two
so there’s another two drums that we’re on the spectrum between
drums that we’re on the spectrum between
drums that we’re on the spectrum between fear and hope and the spectrum between
fear and hope and the spectrum between
fear and hope and the spectrum between being alone and in community and I’m
being alone and in community and I’m
being alone and in community and I’m saying to live with integrity you need
saying to live with integrity you need
saying to live with integrity you need to be on the community side of the
to be on the community side of the
to be on the community side of the spectrum but in order to be on the
spectrum but in order to be on the
spectrum but in order to be on the community side of the spectrum I need to
community side of the spectrum I need to
community side of the spectrum I need to be able to make myself vulnerable the
be able to make myself vulnerable the
be able to make myself vulnerable the only way I’m gonna be able to make
only way I’m gonna be able to make
only way I’m gonna be able to make myself vulnerable is I have I have hope
myself vulnerable is I have I have hope
myself vulnerable is I have I have hope if I can trust that the people I am
if I can trust that the people I am
if I can trust that the people I am partnering with care about my journey
partnering with care about my journey
partnering with care about my journey they’re interested in my journey they’re
they’re interested in my journey they’re
they’re interested in my journey they’re willing to listen to understand where
willing to listen to understand where
willing to listen to understand where I’m coming from and what I’m thinking
I’m coming from and what I’m thinking
I’m coming from and what I’m thinking and they’re willing to show up and tell
and they’re willing to show up and tell
and they’re willing to show up and tell me their perspective and work with me
me their perspective and work with me
me their perspective and work with me to find a collaborative way to move
to find a collaborative way to move
to find a collaborative way to move forward through the challenge that we’re
forward through the challenge that we’re
forward through the challenge that we’re facing if it’s the case that Rafik
facing if it’s the case that Rafik
facing if it’s the case that Rafik believes or one of his classmates
believes or one of his classmates
believes or one of his classmates believes that by sharing his perspective
believes that by sharing his perspective
believes that by sharing his perspective his calling his when he does that his
his calling his when he does that his
his calling his when he does that his colleagues are gonna or his classmates
colleagues are gonna or his classmates
colleagues are gonna or his classmates are gonna call him stupid or they’re
are gonna call him stupid or they’re
are gonna call him stupid or they’re gonna ridicule him or they’re gonna
gonna ridicule him or they’re gonna
gonna ridicule him or they’re gonna ostracize him he’s not going to share
ostracize him he’s not going to share
ostracize him he’s not going to share he’s going to be on the alone side of
he’s going to be on the alone side of
he’s going to be on the alone side of the spectrum because he needs to look
the spectrum because he needs to look
the spectrum because he needs to look after his own interests because nobody
after his own interests because nobody
after his own interests because nobody else is going to so in order to live
else is going to so in order to live
else is going to so in order to live with integrity we actually need the
with integrity we actually need the
with integrity we actually need the skills to be able to treat each other
skills to be able to treat each other
skills to be able to treat each other with care and kindness to be able to
with care and kindness to be able to
with care and kindness to be able to listen to each other to understand each
listen to each other to understand each
listen to each other to understand each other’s perspectives and then to show up
other’s perspectives and then to show up
other’s perspectives and then to show up with a view to collaborating integrity
with a view to collaborating integrity
with a view to collaborating integrity equals critical thinking plus pluralism
equals critical thinking plus pluralism
equals critical thinking plus pluralism our peace of mind is connected to the
our peace of mind is connected to the
our peace of mind is connected to the extent to which we’re able to walk our
extent to which we’re able to walk our
extent to which we’re able to walk our talk every day and to walk our talk we
talk every day and to walk our talk we
talk every day and to walk our talk we need to be able to figure out what
need to be able to figure out what
need to be able to figure out what should matter in life deeply we need to
should matter in life deeply we need to
should matter in life deeply we need to be able to figure out what are the facts
be able to figure out what are the facts
be able to figure out what are the facts in the situation what actually is going
in the situation what actually is going
in the situation what actually is going on in the world we need to be able to
on in the world we need to be able to
on in the world we need to be able to understand and process our own emotions
understand and process our own emotions
understand and process our own emotions and help our colleagues our friends to
and help our colleagues our friends to
and help our colleagues our friends to do the same we need to be able to treat
do the same we need to be able to treat
do the same we need to be able to treat each other with kindness and care we
each other with kindness and care we
each other with kindness and care we need to be able to listen to each other
need to be able to listen to each other
need to be able to listen to each other to understand each other’s perspectives
to understand each other’s perspectives
to understand each other’s perspectives and then we need to show up and share
and then we need to show up and share
and then we need to show up and share our perspectives in
our perspectives in
our perspectives in spirit of collaboration this is what our
spirit of collaboration this is what our
spirit of collaboration this is what our children need to live with integrity and
children need to live with integrity and
children need to live with integrity and this is if this is what our children
this is if this is what our children
this is if this is what our children need then notice these are the skills
need then notice these are the skills
need then notice these are the skills that we need so that we can actually
that we need so that we can actually
that we need so that we can actually help them on this journey I’m gonna
help them on this journey I’m gonna
help them on this journey I’m gonna leave you with one more thought I
leave you with one more thought I
leave you with one more thought I actually think that all of this stuff is
actually think that all of this stuff is
actually think that all of this stuff is tied up with the idea of freedom my wife
tied up with the idea of freedom my wife
tied up with the idea of freedom my wife and I once went to a flamenco concert
and I once went to a flamenco concert
and I once went to a flamenco concert and this man and woman were doing this
and this man and woman were doing this
and this man and woman were doing this gorgeous dance
gorgeous dance
gorgeous dance it was beautiful expressive passionate
it was beautiful expressive passionate
it was beautiful expressive passionate creative it was wonderful and I turned
creative it was wonderful and I turned
creative it was wonderful and I turned to my my wife and I said honey that’s
to my my wife and I said honey that’s
to my my wife and I said honey that’s integrity and she said honey but
integrity and she said honey but
integrity and she said honey but afterwards she humored me and she said
afterwards she humored me and she said
afterwards she humored me and she said okay well what did you mean and I said
okay well what did you mean and I said
okay well what did you mean and I said notice that yes everything they were
notice that yes everything they were
notice that yes everything they were doing was beautiful passionate
doing was beautiful passionate
doing was beautiful passionate expressive creative it was gorgeous but
expressive creative it was gorgeous but
expressive creative it was gorgeous but everything they were doing on that stage
everything they were doing on that stage
everything they were doing on that stage was deliberate it was intentional they
was deliberate it was intentional they
was deliberate it was intentional they weren’t being pushed around on that
weren’t being pushed around on that
weren’t being pushed around on that stage by any force other than what they
stage by any force other than what they
stage by any force other than what they had wanted to be guided by if we don’t
had wanted to be guided by if we don’t
had wanted to be guided by if we don’t know what our talk is and are not in
know what our talk is and are not in
know what our talk is and are not in control of walking it then we’re simply
control of walking it then we’re simply
control of walking it then we’re simply being pushed around by whatever forces
being pushed around by whatever forces
being pushed around by whatever forces happen to be strongest in our lives
happen to be strongest in our lives
happen to be strongest in our lives living with integrity is about freedom
living with integrity is about freedom
living with integrity is about freedom it’s about intentionally choosing the
it’s about intentionally choosing the
it’s about intentionally choosing the constraints that we are going to live by
constraints that we are going to live by
constraints that we are going to live by in our lives and accepting those as
in our lives and accepting those as
in our lives and accepting those as opposed to simply being moved by
opposed to simply being moved by
opposed to simply being moved by thoughtless freedom or license I’ll put
thoughtless freedom or license I’ll put
thoughtless freedom or license I’ll put it that way thank you very much
”
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