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Myths About Violence Against Women | Nicole Westmarland | TEDxDurhamUniversity


I

I [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] it takes two to tango it’s six of one

it takes two to tango it’s six of one

it takes two to tango it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other you can’t

and half a dozen of the other you can’t

and half a dozen of the other you can’t thread a movie needle these are just

thread a movie needle these are just

thread a movie needle these are just some of the myths the stereotypes the

some of the myths the stereotypes the

some of the myths the stereotypes the misogynistic statements which are given

misogynistic statements which are given

misogynistic statements which are given about violence against women and girls

examples of statements which serve to

examples of statements which serve to excuse cook to condone violence against

excuse cook to condone violence against

excuse cook to condone violence against women to suggest that somehow people who

women to suggest that somehow people who

women to suggest that somehow people who are victimized through violence as

are victimized through violence as

are victimized through violence as somehow equally to blame for their

somehow equally to blame for their

somehow equally to blame for their victimization we can see this through

victimization we can see this through

victimization we can see this through history we see examples of judges in one

history we see examples of judges in one

history we see examples of judges in one case saying that a victim of rape and

case saying that a victim of rape and

case saying that a victim of rape and being negligent and had somehow

being negligent and had somehow

being negligent and had somehow contributed towards her rape why because

contributed towards her rape why because

contributed towards her rape why because she had been hitchhiking in another case

she had been hitchhiking in another case

she had been hitchhiking in another case a man who had killed his wife wat free

a man who had killed his wife wat free

a man who had killed his wife wat free from the courts with the judge saying

from the courts with the judge saying

from the courts with the judge saying that woman would have tried the patience

that woman would have tried the patience

that woman would have tried the patience of a saint assuming that six of one half

of a saint assuming that six of one half

of a saint assuming that six of one half a dozen of another it takes two to tango

a dozen of another it takes two to tango

a dozen of another it takes two to tango is true in cases of domestic violence

violence against women and I’m saying

violence against women and I’m saying violence against women rather than

violence against women rather than

violence against women rather than against men because today what I’m

against men because today what I’m

against men because today what I’m talking about is a structural inequality

talking about is a structural inequality

talking about is a structural inequality that affects women the world over it is

that affects women the world over it is

that affects women the world over it is not to suggest that violence does not

not to suggest that violence does not

not to suggest that violence does not happen towards men or the women are

happen towards men or the women are

happen towards men or the women are sometimes violent towards men which they

sometimes violent towards men which they

sometimes violent towards men which they undoubtedly are but today I’m talking

undoubtedly are but today I’m talking

undoubtedly are but today I’m talking about violence against women something

about violence against women something

about violence against women something which kills women all over the world

which kills women all over the world

which kills women all over the world every single day last year just in the

every single day last year just in the

every single day last year just in the UK 118 women at least were killed but at

UK 118 women at least were killed but at

UK 118 women at least were killed but at the hands of men

and that’s an extreme example house I’m

and that’s an extreme example house I’m talking about homicide about femicide

talking about homicide about femicide

talking about homicide about femicide I’m talking about sometimes the ultimate

I’m talking about sometimes the ultimate

I’m talking about sometimes the ultimate acts of control murder suicide where a

acts of control murder suicide where a

acts of control murder suicide where a man kills his partner his children and

man kills his partner his children and

man kills his partner his children and then kills himself but there are other

then kills himself but there are other

then kills himself but there are other forms of violence as well that can that

forms of violence as well that can that

forms of violence as well that can that can leave women feeling restricted in

can leave women feeling restricted in

can leave women feeling restricted in their life for years for decades in some

their life for years for decades in some

their life for years for decades in some cases so what does a domestic violence

cases so what does a domestic violence

cases so what does a domestic violence perpetrator look like well he looks

perpetrator look like well he looks

perpetrator look like well he looks exactly like some of the people in this

exactly like some of the people in this

exactly like some of the people in this audience actually he looks like person

audience actually he looks like person

audience actually he looks like person who’s standing behind you in the

who’s standing behind you in the

who’s standing behind you in the supermarket q he looks like the police

supermarket q he looks like the police

supermarket q he looks like the police officer he looks like the taxi driver

officer he looks like the taxi driver

officer he looks like the taxi driver who looks like the barman he looks just

who looks like the barman he looks just

who looks like the barman he looks just like we all do as a criminologist we do

like we all do as a criminologist we do

like we all do as a criminologist we do a lot of research with domestic violence

a lot of research with domestic violence

a lot of research with domestic violence and we do some research interviewing

and we do some research interviewing

and we do some research interviewing perpetrators of domestic violence and as

perpetrators of domestic violence and as

perpetrators of domestic violence and as part of that we need to as everybody

part of that we need to as everybody

part of that we need to as everybody does who does primary research we need

does who does primary research we need

does who does primary research we need to fill in ethics forms and as part of

to fill in ethics forms and as part of

to fill in ethics forms and as part of the ethical requirement we think about

the ethical requirement we think about

the ethical requirement we think about what the risks are to our participants

what the risks are to our participants

what the risks are to our participants but we also think about what the risks

but we also think about what the risks

but we also think about what the risks are to ourselves to our research teams

and the sorts of things we put down when

and the sorts of things we put down when we’re interviewing violent man well

we’re interviewing violent man well

we’re interviewing violent man well we’ll we’ll telephone somebody when we

we’ll we’ll telephone somebody when we

we’ll we’ll telephone somebody when we got in and out of the interview so that

got in and out of the interview so that

got in and out of the interview so that people know that we serve we say we’ll

people know that we serve we say we’ll

people know that we serve we say we’ll do the interviews in a in a public

do the interviews in a in a public

do the interviews in a in a public building where there are people next

building where there are people next

building where there are people next door in case we get into any

door in case we get into any

door in case we get into any difficulties but in reality these are

difficulties but in reality these are

difficulties but in reality these are not the main risks to the researchers

not the main risks to the researchers

not the main risks to the researchers doing interviews with violent mode when

doing interviews with violent mode when

doing interviews with violent mode when they come out of the interviews they

they come out of the interviews they

they come out of the interviews they feel odd they say he seemed quite nice

feel odd they say he seemed quite nice

feel odd they say he seemed quite nice he seemed really normal I could imagine

he seemed really normal I could imagine

he seemed really normal I could imagine having a drink with him in the fall I

having a drink with him in the fall I

having a drink with him in the fall I was sat next to him on a long train

was sat next to him on a long train

was sat next to him on a long train journey I would have quite happily

journey I would have quite happily

journey I would have quite happily spoken to him all the time they don’t

spoken to him all the time they don’t

spoken to him all the time they don’t appear as monsters they don’t appear as

appear as monsters they don’t appear as

appear as monsters they don’t appear as the Hulk they certainly don’t have

the Hulk they certainly don’t have

the Hulk they certainly don’t have perpetrator stamped across their

perpetrator stamped across their

perpetrator stamped across their forehead in my own interviews with

forehead in my own interviews with

forehead in my own interviews with domestic violence perpetrators I’m

domestic violence perpetrators I’m

domestic violence perpetrators I’m reminded of the first domestic violence

reminded of the first domestic violence

reminded of the first domestic violence perpetrator that I ever interviewed

perpetrator that I ever interviewed

perpetrator that I ever interviewed about 15 years ago and he told me he was

about 15 years ago and he told me he was

about 15 years ago and he told me he was on a domestic violence perpetrated

on a domestic violence perpetrated

on a domestic violence perpetrated program a course that tries to

program a course that tries to

program a course that tries to re-educate men and try to help them to

re-educate men and try to help them to

re-educate men and try to help them to stop using violence to choose to change

stop using violence to choose to change

stop using violence to choose to change to choose to not use violence in their

to choose to not use violence in their

to choose to not use violence in their relationships and he said to me do you

relationships and he said to me do you

relationships and he said to me do you want my friends thinks it’s funny I’m on

want my friends thinks it’s funny I’m on

want my friends thinks it’s funny I’m on this class even my GP says I don’t know

this class even my GP says I don’t know

this class even my GP says I don’t know why you’re doing it you’re merely placid

why you’re doing it you’re merely placid

why you’re doing it you’re merely placid person and that’s how perpetrators often

person and that’s how perpetrators often

person and that’s how perpetrators often come across to other people they’re not

come across to other people they’re not

come across to other people they’re not a threat they can be the person who is

a threat they can be the person who is

a threat they can be the person who is the life and soul of the party they can

the life and soul of the party they can

the life and soul of the party they can be the person who is in other words

be the person who is in other words

be the person who is in other words fighting for social justice for social

fighting for social justice for social

fighting for social justice for social equality as an outward person there can

equality as an outward person there can

equality as an outward person there can be what one of the most service people

be what one of the most service people

be what one of the most service people for you to be with but within the

for you to be with but within the

for you to be with but within the relationship it’s different alcohol does

relationship it’s different alcohol does

relationship it’s different alcohol does even a larger this has a nickname of

even a larger this has a nickname of

even a larger this has a nickname of wife beater alcohol drugs bereavement

wife beater alcohol drugs bereavement

wife beater alcohol drugs bereavement stress testosterone these are all some

stress testosterone these are all some

stress testosterone these are all some of the reasons which are given for wide

of the reasons which are given for wide

of the reasons which are given for wide men’s violence against women happens

men’s violence against women happens

men’s violence against women happens being unemployed being overworked having

being unemployed being overworked having

being unemployed being overworked having children not having children

children not having children

children not having children and then too many childcare

and then too many childcare

and then too many childcare responsibilities not being able to look

responsibilities not being able to look

responsibilities not being able to look after the children because of work

after the children because of work

after the children because of work responsibilities whatever the situation

responsibilities whatever the situation

responsibilities whatever the situation there is a sit there was a myth about

there is a sit there was a myth about

there is a sit there was a myth about why violence against women happens and

why violence against women happens and

why violence against women happens and if it doesn’t work for the man hippie

if it doesn’t work for the man hippie

if it doesn’t work for the man hippie work the other way around as a

work the other way around as a

work the other way around as a criminologist I often spend time in

criminologist I often spend time in

criminologist I often spend time in courts watching magistrates and judges

courts watching magistrates and judges

courts watching magistrates and judges listen to domestic violence cases in one

listen to domestic violence cases in one

listen to domestic violence cases in one of the most most recent cases dares that

of the most most recent cases dares that

of the most most recent cases dares that I spent in court I heard time after time

I spent in court I heard time after time

I spent in court I heard time after time alcohol being blend as the number one

alcohol being blend as the number one

alcohol being blend as the number one reason why violence against women was

reason why violence against women was

reason why violence against women was happening man who will work working

happening man who will work working

happening man who will work working aware and not able to drink came back

aware and not able to drink came back

aware and not able to drink came back and somehow i went on a big drink Fink

and somehow i went on a big drink Fink

and somehow i went on a big drink Fink drink binge drinking binge and then came

drink binge drinking binge and then came

drink binge drinking binge and then came back for a violent towards their partner

back for a violent towards their partner

back for a violent towards their partner and sometimes their children as well if

and sometimes their children as well if

and sometimes their children as well if it worked the other way around it was

it worked the other way around it was

it worked the other way around it was because of the woollens drinking in one

because of the woollens drinking in one

because of the woollens drinking in one care sir I heard which attempt which

care sir I heard which attempt which

care sir I heard which attempt which involved an attempted rare physical

involved an attempted rare physical

involved an attempted rare physical violence and violence against his

violence and violence against his

violence and violence against his children one evening it had been New

children one evening it had been New

children one evening it had been New Year’s Eve they’ve both been out the man

Year’s Eve they’ve both been out the man

Year’s Eve they’ve both been out the man had not been drinking he had been

had not been drinking he had been

had not been drinking he had been driving the woman had insisted on going

driving the woman had insisted on going

driving the woman had insisted on going out for more drinks he didn’t want to he

out for more drinks he didn’t want to he

out for more drinks he didn’t want to he wanted to stand he was the good guy here

wanted to stand he was the good guy here

wanted to stand he was the good guy here she had insisted on going out the

she had insisted on going out the

she had insisted on going out the defense in this case continued to make a

defense in this case continued to make a

defense in this case continued to make a point about how much she had drunk even

point about how much she had drunk even

point about how much she had drunk even to the extent of saying what she had

to the extent of saying what she had

to the extent of saying what she had been drinking all night and what was

been drinking all night and what was

been drinking all night and what was this terrible hi alcoholic drink that

this terrible hi alcoholic drink that

this terrible hi alcoholic drink that she’d been drinking all night archers

she’d been drinking all night archers

she’d been drinking all night archers and lemonade whatever happens and there

and lemonade whatever happens and there

and lemonade whatever happens and there is an another reason that is often given

is an another reason that is often given

is an another reason that is often given for why men’s violence against women

for why men’s violence against women

for why men’s violence against women to use and violence isn’t always

to use and violence isn’t always

to use and violence isn’t always physical either in fact the worst

physical either in fact the worst

physical either in fact the worst violence often isn’t physical now

violence often isn’t physical now

violence often isn’t physical now whenever somebody is killed within a

whenever somebody is killed within a

whenever somebody is killed within a part intimate partner relationship we do

part intimate partner relationship we do

part intimate partner relationship we do domestic violence homicide reviews we

domestic violence homicide reviews we

domestic violence homicide reviews we look at who knew what who could have

look at who knew what who could have

look at who knew what who could have helped how could we intervene sooner and

helped how could we intervene sooner and

helped how could we intervene sooner and what we often find us for that that for

what we often find us for that that for

what we often find us for that that for the domestic violence homicides there

the domestic violence homicides there

the domestic violence homicides there hasn’t been any recent history of

hasn’t been any recent history of

hasn’t been any recent history of physical violence there hasn’t

physical violence there hasn’t

physical violence there hasn’t necessarily been call out to the place

necessarily been call out to the place

necessarily been call out to the place and that is because in the most

and that is because in the most

and that is because in the most controlling relationships in the worst

controlling relationships in the worst

controlling relationships in the worst cases of domestic violence in the cases

cases of domestic violence in the cases

cases of domestic violence in the cases that end up in death there hasn’t had to

that end up in death there hasn’t had to

that end up in death there hasn’t had to be any violence fines were not being

be any violence fines were not being

be any violence fines were not being used for years for decades even the

used for years for decades even the

used for years for decades even the threat of violence the threat of what

threat of violence the threat of what

threat of violence the threat of what could happen to herself to her children

could happen to herself to her children

could happen to herself to her children to her pets to her family these things

to her pets to her family these things

to her pets to her family these things are enough to keep her in her place

ten years ago Evan stark an American

ten years ago Evan stark an American academic wrote a book called coercive

academic wrote a book called coercive

academic wrote a book called coercive control the entrapment of women in

control the entrapment of women in

control the entrapment of women in everyday life and in this book he

everyday life and in this book he

everyday life and in this book he reminded us even just through the title

reminded us even just through the title

reminded us even just through the title the entrapment of women in everyday life

the entrapment of women in everyday life

the entrapment of women in everyday life he reminded us how close gender

he reminded us how close gender

he reminded us how close gender inequality within our day-to-day lives

inequality within our day-to-day lives

inequality within our day-to-day lives within our lived relationships within

within our lived relationships within

within our lived relationships within our everyday interactions with each

our everyday interactions with each

our everyday interactions with each other agenda and that it is Thor’s not

other agenda and that it is Thor’s not

other agenda and that it is Thor’s not violence that links to that links gender

violence that links to that links gender

violence that links to that links gender inequality to violence against women and

inequality to violence against women and

inequality to violence against women and the continuing violence against women we

the continuing violence against women we

the continuing violence against women we now have a new law came out last year

now have a new law came out last year

now have a new law came out last year pod coercive and controlling behavior

pod coercive and controlling behavior

pod coercive and controlling behavior this is about that constant checking of

this is about that constant checking of

this is about that constant checking of facebook messages what was needing to

facebook messages what was needing to

facebook messages what was needing to know where somebody years of being half

know where somebody years of being half

know where somebody years of being half an hour legend having ninety missed

an hour legend having ninety missed

an hour legend having ninety missed calls on your phone I’m not having the

calls on your phone I’m not having the

calls on your phone I’m not having the freedom to stop off at the shop on the

freedom to stop off at the shop on the

freedom to stop off at the shop on the way back because you’ll be accused of

way back because you’ll be accused of

way back because you’ll be accused of what you clearly did have you been with

what you clearly did have you been with

what you clearly did have you been with another man why have you got your hair

another man why have you got your hair

another man why have you got your hair done why did you buy those shoes one of

done why did you buy those shoes one of

done why did you buy those shoes one of the women we interviewed talked about

the women we interviewed talked about

the women we interviewed talked about how she wanted to he wanted her to look

how she wanted to he wanted her to look

how she wanted to he wanted her to look beautiful and have her hair done and

beautiful and have her hair done and

beautiful and have her hair done and we’re short skirt and heels whenever he

we’re short skirt and heels whenever he

we’re short skirt and heels whenever he was out with her but forbid her from

was out with her but forbid her from

was out with her but forbid her from doing that the rest of the time she told

doing that the rest of the time she told

doing that the rest of the time she told us I felt like a dog it was turned on

us I felt like a dog it was turned on

us I felt like a dog it was turned on and off at his well

but hey it’s 2017 surely violence

but hey it’s 2017 surely violence against women then is illegal we have

against women then is illegal we have

against women then is illegal we have laws against it surely in the Western

laws against it surely in the Western

laws against it surely in the Western world this is new still happening surely

world this is new still happening surely

world this is new still happening surely they’re imprison these domestic violence

they’re imprison these domestic violence

they’re imprison these domestic violence perpetrators I wish I could say that is

perpetrators I wish I could say that is

perpetrators I wish I could say that is the case but my extensive research over

the case but my extensive research over

the case but my extensive research over 15 years on this topic tells me not only

15 years on this topic tells me not only

15 years on this topic tells me not only that it isn’t true but also that it

that it isn’t true but also that it

that it isn’t true but also that it possibly isn’t going to happen at least

possibly isn’t going to happen at least

possibly isn’t going to happen at least anytime soon in fact most of the men in

anytime soon in fact most of the men in

anytime soon in fact most of the men in prison who are domestic violence

prison who are domestic violence

prison who are domestic violence perpetrators will be in for a different

perpetrators will be in for a different

perpetrators will be in for a different crime we know that policing is a problem

crime we know that policing is a problem

crime we know that policing is a problem we know that the courts are a problem I

we know that the courts are a problem I

we know that the courts are a problem I gave the examples earlier of how women

gave the examples earlier of how women

gave the examples earlier of how women were seen as somehow contributing

were seen as somehow contributing

were seen as somehow contributing towards their offends the idea that in

towards their offends the idea that in

towards their offends the idea that in violence it takes two to tango even this

violence it takes two to tango even this

violence it takes two to tango even this morning driving into durham i heard on

morning driving into durham i heard on

morning driving into durham i heard on the radio of a judge telling women but

the radio of a judge telling women but

the radio of a judge telling women but they shouldn’t drink alcohol they

they shouldn’t drink alcohol they

they shouldn’t drink alcohol they shouldn’t get so drunk if they don’t

shouldn’t get so drunk if they don’t

shouldn’t get so drunk if they don’t want to be weird so what do we do then

want to be weird so what do we do then

want to be weird so what do we do then we look at the building blocks of gender

we look at the building blocks of gender

we look at the building blocks of gender inequality and we look at them at the

inequality and we look at them at the

inequality and we look at them at the very basic level we look at then when

very basic level we look at then when

very basic level we look at then when people start playing building blocks we

people start playing building blocks we

people start playing building blocks we look at them as babies and toddlers I

look at them as babies and toddlers I

look at them as babies and toddlers I was like a mummy’s facebook group last

was like a mummy’s facebook group last

was like a mummy’s facebook group last week and often people offer things for

week and often people offer things for

week and often people offer things for sale or they offer things for free if

sale or they offer things for free if

sale or they offer things for free if anybody wants them kind of

anybody wants them kind of

anybody wants them kind of think things on this children grow so

think things on this children grow so

think things on this children grow so fast there things one minute and then

fast there things one minute and then

fast there things one minute and then they don’t the next somebody was

they don’t the next somebody was

they don’t the next somebody was offering for free anybody who can

offering for free anybody who can

offering for free anybody who can collect free tiny v do you think that

collect free tiny v do you think that

collect free tiny v do you think that five hooded there be towels lovely offer

five hooded there be towels lovely offer

five hooded there be towels lovely offer and then somebody had commented

and then somebody had commented

and then somebody had commented underneath are these for boys or girls

underneath are these for boys or girls

underneath are these for boys or girls babies towels we are gendering bear

babies towels we are gendering bear

babies towels we are gendering bear these towels for the minute they come

these towels for the minute they come

these towels for the minute they come out of the room are these for boys and

out of the room are these for boys and

out of the room are these for boys and girl or girls when I was looking at our

girl or girls when I was looking at our

girl or girls when I was looking at our tips for this TED talk I typed into

tips for this TED talk I typed into

tips for this TED talk I typed into Google the question what mix are and

Google the question what mix are and

Google the question what mix are and then I typed in the word gee I was going

then I typed in the word gee I was going

then I typed in the word gee I was going to take him what makes a good 10 talk

to take him what makes a good 10 talk

to take him what makes a good 10 talk and by accident a Titan I after gym and

and by accident a Titan I after gym and

and by accident a Titan I after gym and three top options it gave me worth what

three top options it gave me worth what

three top options it gave me worth what makes a girl good in bed second option

makes a girl good in bed second option

makes a girl good in bed second option what makes a girl pretty third option

what makes a girl pretty third option

what makes a girl pretty third option what makes a girl

what makes a girl

what makes a girl and I just thought how depressing but it

and I just thought how depressing but it

and I just thought how depressing but it is the third one down that comes to what

is the third one down that comes to what

is the third one down that comes to what makes a girl happy and unfortunately I

makes a girl happy and unfortunately I

makes a girl happy and unfortunately I think that tells us a lot about gender

think that tells us a lot about gender

think that tells us a lot about gender inequality within our world so if we

inequality within our world so if we

inequality within our world so if we want to end violence against women we

want to end violence against women we

want to end violence against women we have to remember that it is gender

have to remember that it is gender

have to remember that it is gender inequality and other forms of inequality

inequality and other forms of inequality

inequality and other forms of inequality that intersect with gender inequality

that intersect with gender inequality

that intersect with gender inequality amount of disability around sexuality

amount of disability around sexuality

amount of disability around sexuality around rarest ethnicity it’s not alcohol

around rarest ethnicity it’s not alcohol

around rarest ethnicity it’s not alcohol it’s not drugs it’s not mental illness

it’s not drugs it’s not mental illness

it’s not drugs it’s not mental illness it’s gender inequality and we need to

it’s gender inequality and we need to

it’s gender inequality and we need to think about the ways in which we tackle

think about the ways in which we tackle

think about the ways in which we tackle that within our everyday life this isn’t

that within our everyday life this isn’t

that within our everyday life this isn’t just about the big gestures it’s not

just about the big gestures it’s not

just about the big gestures it’s not just about the changing of laws so not

just about the changing of laws so not

just about the changing of laws so not just about the judges or the police

just about the judges or the police

just about the judges or the police officers it’s about us in our everyday

officers it’s about us in our everyday

officers it’s about us in our everyday life and this really is where it does

life and this really is where it does

life and this really is where it does take two to tango when you think about

take two to tango when you think about

take two to tango when you think about equality within your day-to-day

equality within your day-to-day

equality within your day-to-day interactions in your relationships in

interactions in your relationships in

interactions in your relationships in your workplaces in volunteering think

your workplaces in volunteering think

your workplaces in volunteering think about the acts which you do and think

about the acts which you do and think

about the acts which you do and think about how they can be gendered and

about how they can be gendered and

about how they can be gendered and refuse to comply with those gender norms

refuse to comply with those gender norms

refuse to comply with those gender norms try to resist actively resist those

try to resist actively resist those

try to resist actively resist those gender norms in your everyday life dress

gender norms in your everyday life dress

gender norms in your everyday life dress your girls in blue dress your boys in

your girls in blue dress your boys in

your girls in blue dress your boys in pink think about who takes the minutes

pink think about who takes the minutes

pink think about who takes the minutes at work think about who tidies up after

at work think about who tidies up after

at work think about who tidies up after meetings who washes the cups after the

meetings who washes the cups after the

meetings who washes the cups after the coffee morning who takes responsibility

coffee morning who takes responsibility

coffee morning who takes responsibility for organizing collections when somebody

for organizing collections when somebody

for organizing collections when somebody has a baby who takes responsibility for

has a baby who takes responsibility for

has a baby who takes responsibility for going to get the leaving present if

going to get the leaving present if

going to get the leaving present if somebody’s leaving think about it within

somebody’s leaving think about it within

somebody’s leaving think about it within your household who does the emotional

your household who does the emotional

your household who does the emotional level who buys grandma’s present who

level who buys grandma’s present who

level who buys grandma’s present who books the table for Mother’s Day lunch

books the table for Mother’s Day lunch

books the table for Mother’s Day lunch who takes time off when the kids are

who takes time off when the kids are

who takes time off when the kids are sick and think about these things and

sick and think about these things and

sick and think about these things and think about how you enact gender in your

think about how you enact gender in your

think about how you enact gender in your relationship and let’s try to put these

relationship and let’s try to put these

relationship and let’s try to put these gender norms and stereotypes in the bin

gender norms and stereotypes in the bin

gender norms and stereotypes in the bin for good because it is only about

for good because it is only about

for good because it is only about changing one generation

changing one generation

changing one generation but we are going to change gender

but we are going to change gender

but we are going to change gender inequality and state an end to violence

inequality and state an end to violence

inequality and state an end to violence against women thank you

against women thank you

against women thank you [Applause]

”

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