[Music] hello you’re probably wondering why the
hello you’re probably wondering why the
hello you’re probably wondering why the delay also why the pearls and why the
delay also why the pearls and why the
delay also why the pearls and why the handbag so let me start with the pearls
handbag so let me start with the pearls
handbag so let me start with the pearls a lot of pearls one thing to remember at
a lot of pearls one thing to remember at
a lot of pearls one thing to remember at this talk is the pearls so I want to
this talk is the pearls so I want to
this talk is the pearls so I want to tell you about pearls because pearls
tell you about pearls because pearls
tell you about pearls because pearls have a dirty secret
have a dirty secret
have a dirty secret they have grit in their hearts and I
they have grit in their hearts and I
they have grit in their hearts and I want to use pearls as a metaphor for my
want to use pearls as a metaphor for my
want to use pearls as a metaphor for my talk today if you’re from Scotland you
talk today if you’re from Scotland you
talk today if you’re from Scotland you don’t say pearls you say petals and I
don’t say pearls you say petals and I
don’t say pearls you say petals and I think pearls and peril go together it
think pearls and peril go together it
think pearls and peril go together it takes two to tango because we think
takes two to tango because we think
takes two to tango because we think about how pearl is created it’s created
about how pearl is created it’s created
about how pearl is created it’s created through peril the oyster thinks it’s
through peril the oyster thinks it’s
through peril the oyster thinks it’s about to be invaded by an irritant so it
about to be invaded by an irritant so it
about to be invaded by an irritant so it covers it with nacre in order to protect
covers it with nacre in order to protect
covers it with nacre in order to protect itself so this beauty is hard-won and
itself so this beauty is hard-won and
itself so this beauty is hard-won and that’s the theme of my talk I’m Eve
that’s the theme of my talk I’m Eve
that’s the theme of my talk I’m Eve Poole and I’m going to talk to you about
Poole and I’m going to talk to you about
Poole and I’m going to talk to you about leader smithing and to do that I need
leader smithing and to do that I need
leader smithing and to do that I need some props
some props
some props hence the handbag the first prop is a
hence the handbag the first prop is a
hence the handbag the first prop is a tiara now I wonder how many of you are
tiara now I wonder how many of you are
tiara now I wonder how many of you are aficionados of The Princess Diaries well
aficionados of The Princess Diaries well
aficionados of The Princess Diaries well I love The Princess Diaries and here’s
I love The Princess Diaries and here’s
I love The Princess Diaries and here’s some Disney wisdom for you you may
some Disney wisdom for you you may
some Disney wisdom for you you may remember the plot this young lady is
remember the plot this young lady is
remember the plot this young lady is just discovered she’s about to inherit
just discovered she’s about to inherit
just discovered she’s about to inherit the throne and she’s tell me a bit of a
the throne and she’s tell me a bit of a
the throne and she’s tell me a bit of a troll in San Francisco in the rain in a
troll in San Francisco in the rain in a
troll in San Francisco in the rain in a car park about this and luckily and now
car park about this and luckily and now
car park about this and luckily and now dead father
dead father
dead father had the foresight to write her a letter
had the foresight to write her a letter
had the foresight to write her a letter before he died giving her some life
before he died giving her some life
before he died giving her some life wisdom and in it there is this brilliant
wisdom and in it there is this brilliant
wisdom and in it there is this brilliant line and the line is the one thing you
line and the line is the one thing you
line and the line is the one thing you have to remember is that there is some
have to remember is that there is some
have to remember is that there is some things that are more important than fear
things that are more important than fear
things that are more important than fear it’s not brilliant there is some things
it’s not brilliant there is some things
it’s not brilliant there is some things that are more important than fear and I
that are more important than fear and I
that are more important than fear and I wonder what you’d fear I wonder if you
wonder what you’d fear I wonder if you
wonder what you’d fear I wonder if you fear coming and doing a talk like this
fear coming and doing a talk like this
fear coming and doing a talk like this whatever else you might fear in your
whatever else you might fear in your
whatever else you might fear in your life I want to talk to you about how we
life I want to talk to you about how we
life I want to talk to you about how we can understand more about how people
can understand more about how people
can understand more about how people really learn leading and how we can
really learn leading and how we can
really learn leading and how we can conquer our fears to be better leaders
conquer our fears to be better leaders
conquer our fears to be better leaders so I want to take you through a story
so I want to take you through a story
so I want to take you through a story that will involve some talking about the
that will involve some talking about the
that will involve some talking about the brain and some talking about how we know
brain and some talking about how we know
brain and some talking about how we know happy
happy
happy or learn and templating in the brain and
or learn and templating in the brain and
or learn and templating in the brain and I want to talk to you about smithing and
I want to talk to you about smithing and
I want to talk to you about smithing and apprentice pieces so I need some more
apprentice pieces so I need some more
apprentice pieces so I need some more props for that
props for that
props for that the first prop is the good book I’m a
the first prop is the good book I’m a
the first prop is the good book I’m a theology graduate from Durham after all
theology graduate from Durham after all
theology graduate from Durham after all so let me read you a bit from st. Paul
so let me read you a bit from st. Paul
so let me read you a bit from st. Paul we rejoice in our sufferings knowing
we rejoice in our sufferings knowing
we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance and
that suffering produces endurance and
that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and
endurance produces character and
endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope will
character produces hope and hope will
character produces hope and hope will not disappoint us is that remind you of
not disappoint us is that remind you of
not disappoint us is that remind you of the pearls yet it takes two to tango you
the pearls yet it takes two to tango you
the pearls yet it takes two to tango you can’t have the beauty of these pearls
can’t have the beauty of these pearls
can’t have the beauty of these pearls without the grit at their heart so I
without the grit at their heart so I
without the grit at their heart so I work for Ash’s Business School where
work for Ash’s Business School where
work for Ash’s Business School where I’ve been teaching leadership for about
I’ve been teaching leadership for about
I’ve been teaching leadership for about 10 years now and I am curious about what
10 years now and I am curious about what
10 years now and I am curious about what it is that stops people being courageous
it is that stops people being courageous
it is that stops people being courageous leaders so I decided to find out so I
leaders so I decided to find out so I
leaders so I decided to find out so I went to ask a whole load of board level
went to ask a whole load of board level
went to ask a whole load of board level leaders what is they know now that they
leaders what is they know now that they
leaders what is they know now that they wish they’d known 10 years ago I thought
wish they’d known 10 years ago I thought
wish they’d known 10 years ago I thought that might give us some insight and what
that might give us some insight and what
that might give us some insight and what it is we need to know now to be job
it is we need to know now to be job
it is we need to know now to be job ready for these roles in the future and
ready for these roles in the future and
ready for these roles in the future and I did this because of another story I
I did this because of another story I
I did this because of another story I don’t know if you know your Arthurian
don’t know if you know your Arthurian
don’t know if you know your Arthurian law but there’s a lovely story about
law but there’s a lovely story about
law but there’s a lovely story about when Arthur and Merlin meet for the
when Arthur and Merlin meet for the
when Arthur and Merlin meet for the first time so Arthur is wandering around
first time so Arthur is wandering around
first time so Arthur is wandering around the woods and he meets this old man this
the woods and he meets this old man this
the woods and he meets this old man this wizard and he goes to the Wizards Hut
wizard and he goes to the Wizards Hut
wizard and he goes to the Wizards Hut and he finds breakfast has already been
and he finds breakfast has already been
and he finds breakfast has already been laid out for them and he’s very puzzled
laid out for them and he’s very puzzled
laid out for them and he’s very puzzled and I had this conversation where he
and I had this conversation where he
and I had this conversation where he says to Marilyn why were you expecting
says to Marilyn why were you expecting
says to Marilyn why were you expecting me how did you know I was coming and he
me how did you know I was coming and he
me how did you know I was coming and he says well you were born at the beginning
says well you were born at the beginning
says well you were born at the beginning of time and you’re living your life
of time and you’re living your life
of time and you’re living your life forward but I was born at the end of
forward but I was born at the end of
forward but I was born at the end of time and I’m living my life backwards so
time and I’m living my life backwards so
time and I’m living my life backwards so of course I need to expect you so you’ve
of course I need to expect you so you’ve
of course I need to expect you so you’ve already been and I love our idea of
already been and I love our idea of
already been and I love our idea of 20/20 hindsight and 20/20 foresight and
20/20 hindsight and 20/20 foresight and
20/20 hindsight and 20/20 foresight and thought that’s what we really want to
thought that’s what we really want to
thought that’s what we really want to help people with more courageous because
help people with more courageous because
help people with more courageous because if you know what is coming if you know
if you know what is coming if you know
if you know what is coming if you know what to expect then you don’t fear it so
what to expect then you don’t fear it so
what to expect then you don’t fear it so I set about turning all the findings
I set about turning all the findings
I set about turning all the findings from this research we’ve done into what
from this research we’ve done into what
from this research we’ve done into what leaders wish they’d known ten years ago
leaders wish they’d known ten years ago
leaders wish they’d known ten years ago into a simulation and we invited people
into a simulation and we invited people
into a simulation and we invited people to come on our courses and go through
to come on our courses and go through
to come on our courses and go through some of these pivotal experiences that
some of these pivotal experiences that
some of these pivotal experiences that leaders had told them they had Lance
leaders had told them they had Lance
leaders had told them they had Lance much from and so they could devise some
much from and so they could devise some
much from and so they could devise some kind of muscle memory some templates
kind of muscle memory some templates
kind of muscle memory some templates some 20/20 foresight for the future and
some 20/20 foresight for the future and
some 20/20 foresight for the future and it was working really quite well but we
it was working really quite well but we
it was working really quite well but we wanted to know why so we had to get into
wanted to know why so we had to get into
wanted to know why so we had to get into the neurobiology of how leaders learn
the neurobiology of how leaders learn
the neurobiology of how leaders learn and what’s going on so I have a couple
and what’s going on so I have a couple
and what’s going on so I have a couple of props for you here
of props for you here
of props for you here one is a brain put that here and one is
one is a brain put that here and one is
one is a brain put that here and one is an almond so this often the brain is
an almond so this often the brain is
an almond so this often the brain is described as a walnut isn’t it looks
described as a walnut isn’t it looks
described as a walnut isn’t it looks like walnuts exterior and I want to talk
like walnuts exterior and I want to talk
like walnuts exterior and I want to talk to you about how these two things relate
to you about how these two things relate
to you about how these two things relate so if any of you many of you being here
so if any of you many of you being here
so if any of you many of you being here at Durham at the moment well know that
at Durham at the moment well know that
at Durham at the moment well know that we’re very interested in your cognitive
we’re very interested in your cognitive
we’re very interested in your cognitive functioning and we’re very cerebral at
functioning and we’re very cerebral at
functioning and we’re very cerebral at Durham trying to make sure that you are
Durham trying to make sure that you are
Durham trying to make sure that you are thinking all the right thoughts to the
thinking all the right thoughts to the
thinking all the right thoughts to the right quality in order to get that first
right quality in order to get that first
right quality in order to get that first and that fabulous degree and a lot of
and that fabulous degree and a lot of
and that fabulous degree and a lot of leadership development has been like
leadership development has been like
leadership development has been like that
that
that we’ve rowed put people in rows and we’ve
we’ve rowed put people in rows and we’ve
we’ve rowed put people in rows and we’ve taught them all kinds of amazing things
taught them all kinds of amazing things
taught them all kinds of amazing things about strategy and role model leaders of
about strategy and role model leaders of
about strategy and role model leaders of your and we’ve told them that all they
your and we’ve told them that all they
your and we’ve told them that all they need to do is learn a few two-by-two
need to do is learn a few two-by-two
need to do is learn a few two-by-two matrices and they’ll be fine in any
matrices and they’ll be fine in any
matrices and they’ll be fine in any situation and it has all been a bit too
situation and it has all been a bit too
situation and it has all been a bit too cerebral I think because most leaders I
cerebral I think because most leaders I
cerebral I think because most leaders I meet don’t have the luxury of time to be
meet don’t have the luxury of time to be
meet don’t have the luxury of time to be able to pop off into their room and
able to pop off into their room and
able to pop off into their room and Google some Harvard Business Review
Google some Harvard Business Review
Google some Harvard Business Review article about what they should do next
article about what they should do next
article about what they should do next most leadership happens when everything
most leadership happens when everything
most leadership happens when everything is suddenly gone horribly wrong
is suddenly gone horribly wrong
is suddenly gone horribly wrong you’re stunning they’re being
you’re stunning they’re being
you’re stunning they’re being frightfully grand and grown-up and
frightfully grand and grown-up and
frightfully grand and grown-up and important with your brilliant corner
important with your brilliant corner
important with your brilliant corner office and fabulous car and they all
office and fabulous car and they all
office and fabulous car and they all come running into you saying boss boss
come running into you saying boss boss
come running into you saying boss boss what we do what do we do and you’re
what we do what do we do and you’re
what we do what do we do and you’re supposed to stand there looking
supposed to stand there looking
supposed to stand there looking frightfully Gravatar see and go well
frightfully Gravatar see and go well
frightfully Gravatar see and go well clearly the answer is 42 and everyone’s
clearly the answer is 42 and everyone’s
clearly the answer is 42 and everyone’s supposed to applaud and actually Prime
supposed to applaud and actually Prime
supposed to applaud and actually Prime Minister immediately but of course most
Minister immediately but of course most
Minister immediately but of course most the time you’re seeing they’re thinking
the time you’re seeing they’re thinking
the time you’re seeing they’re thinking I don’t know what to do and most leaders
I don’t know what to do and most leaders
I don’t know what to do and most leaders I know feel they have impostor syndrome
I know feel they have impostor syndrome
I know feel they have impostor syndrome they feel they’re about to be found out
they feel they’re about to be found out
they feel they’re about to be found out so what are we doing when all we’re
so what are we doing when all we’re
so what are we doing when all we’re doing is populating this when this isn’t
doing is populating this when this isn’t
doing is populating this when this isn’t going to be the thing that’s going to be
going to be the thing that’s going to be
going to be the thing that’s going to be in charge when leaders are really happy
in charge when leaders are really happy
in charge when leaders are really happy to show up and lead in fact what is
to show up and lead in fact what is
to show up and lead in fact what is going to be in charge at that point is
going to be in charge at that point is
going to be in charge at that point is this Armand
this Armand
this Armand well actually this Armand but let me
well actually this Armand but let me
well actually this Armand but let me explain so almond those of you who are
explain so almond those of you who are
explain so almond those of you who are classicists in the room may know that
classicists in the room may know that
classicists in the room may know that almond the Greek for Armand is amygdala
almond the Greek for Armand is amygdala
almond the Greek for Armand is amygdala and right in the heart of this at the
and right in the heart of this at the
and right in the heart of this at the top of your spine the base of your skull
top of your spine the base of your skull
top of your spine the base of your skull you have a piece of your brain called
you have a piece of your brain called
you have a piece of your brain called the amygdala and they think we probably
the amygdala and they think we probably
the amygdala and they think we probably hung on to this from when we were
hung on to this from when we were
hung on to this from when we were reptiles because reptiles are pretty
reptiles because reptiles are pretty
reptiles because reptiles are pretty successful aren’t they I mean apart from
successful aren’t they I mean apart from
successful aren’t they I mean apart from bacteria they are the species you have
bacteria they are the species you have
bacteria they are the species you have managed the longest so when we evolved
managed the longest so when we evolved
managed the longest so when we evolved our brilliant mammalian brain we kept
our brilliant mammalian brain we kept
our brilliant mammalian brain we kept this at its heart at its core and those
this at its heart at its core and those
this at its heart at its core and those of you who like movies may remember
of you who like movies may remember
of you who like movies may remember recently there was this brilliant movie
recently there was this brilliant movie
recently there was this brilliant movie called inside out which was all about
called inside out which was all about
called inside out which was all about what’s going on in your head and it’s
what’s going on in your head and it’s
what’s going on in your head and it’s been very beautifully the difference
been very beautifully the difference
been very beautifully the difference between this bit and this bit because
between this bit and this bit because
between this bit and this bit because you might remember at the end of each
you might remember at the end of each
you might remember at the end of each day Riley’s memories got filed and the
day Riley’s memories got filed and the
day Riley’s memories got filed and the really humdinger emotional ones got sort
really humdinger emotional ones got sort
really humdinger emotional ones got sort of tagged with the right emotion and put
of tagged with the right emotion and put
of tagged with the right emotion and put into memory central into core memories
into memory central into core memories
into memory central into core memories and that’s what happens in your brain
and that’s what happens in your brain
and that’s what happens in your brain you have all their things that have ever
you have all their things that have ever
you have all their things that have ever happened to you here and a particular
happened to you here and a particular
happened to you here and a particular repository for those memories that are
repository for those memories that are
repository for those memories that are particularly emotionally salient because
particularly emotionally salient because
particularly emotionally salient because they may be necessary for your survival
they may be necessary for your survival
they may be necessary for your survival in the future so this normally is fine
in the future so this normally is fine
in the future so this normally is fine because we have this great filing
because we have this great filing
because we have this great filing cabinet here people who’ve got PhDs from
cabinet here people who’ve got PhDs from
cabinet here people who’ve got PhDs from Durham in filing and you know we’ve got
Durham in filing and you know we’ve got
Durham in filing and you know we’ve got some good stuff in here too but your own
some good stuff in here too but your own
some good stuff in here too but your own really as good as the templates you’ve
really as good as the templates you’ve
really as good as the templates you’ve got in here so let me give you an
got in here so let me give you an
got in here so let me give you an example of that because what tends to
example of that because what tends to
example of that because what tends to happen under pressure is that you’re the
happen under pressure is that you’re the
happen under pressure is that you’re the chemicals in your body tell your
chemicals in your body tell your
chemicals in your body tell your amygdala it’s in charge not your
amygdala it’s in charge not your
amygdala it’s in charge not your neocortex so it takes over it becomes
neocortex so it takes over it becomes
neocortex so it takes over it becomes your pilot in times of peril so let me
your pilot in times of peril so let me
your pilot in times of peril so let me give you an example of when something
give you an example of when something
give you an example of when something happened to me that made me notice these
happened to me that made me notice these
happened to me that made me notice these two bits of my brain and how they
two bits of my brain and how they
two bits of my brain and how they weren’t always matching up so you heard
weren’t always matching up so you heard
weren’t always matching up so you heard from the introduction that I have a
from the introduction that I have a
from the introduction that I have a degree from here a theology degree here
degree from here a theology degree here
degree from here a theology degree here and an MBA from Edinburgh after which I
and an MBA from Edinburgh after which I
and an MBA from Edinburgh after which I went to be a consultant for Deloitte and
went to be a consultant for Deloitte and
went to be a consultant for Deloitte and I was fabulous I had pinstripe suit I
I was fabulous I had pinstripe suit I
I was fabulous I had pinstripe suit I had cufflinks I had a laptop in the days
had cufflinks I had a laptop in the days
had cufflinks I had a laptop in the days when they were frightfully rare I even
when they were frightfully rare I even
when they were frightfully rare I even had all these enormous mobile phones
had all these enormous mobile phones
had all these enormous mobile phones back in the day and I was brilliant I
back in the day and I was brilliant I
back in the day and I was brilliant I was am super late so I was busy being
was am super late so I was busy being
was am super late so I was busy being brilliant and we were working for a
brilliant and we were working for a
brilliant and we were working for a client to Mayfair which is also quite
client to Mayfair which is also quite
client to Mayfair which is also quite brilliant and I was trot around the
brilliant and I was trot around the
brilliant and I was trot around the office be brilliant and we’d set up this
office be brilliant and we’d set up this
office be brilliant and we’d set up this gig for this client and an email had
gig for this client and an email had
gig for this client and an email had gone out about it in which there had
gone out about it in which there had
gone out about it in which there had been an error and the boss had
been an error and the boss had
been an error and the boss had discovered this error and had been
discovered this error and had been
discovered this error and had been hopping mad about it so he’d phoned up
hopping mad about it so he’d phoned up
hopping mad about it so he’d phoned up the American global head of Deloitte
the American global head of Deloitte
the American global head of Deloitte complain about this secretarial
complain about this secretarial
complain about this secretarial oversight that I had committed and
oversight that I had committed and
oversight that I had committed and unfortunately being in America he was
unfortunately being in America he was
unfortunately being in America he was honored
honored
honored time zone so he didn’t pick up which
time zone so he didn’t pick up which
time zone so he didn’t pick up which didn’t improve his temper so he then
didn’t improve his temper so he then
didn’t improve his temper so he then decided he was going to learn the UK had
decided he was going to learn the UK had
decided he was going to learn the UK had a delight to complain to him and he was
a delight to complain to him and he was
a delight to complain to him and he was also on voicemail which didn’t improve
also on voicemail which didn’t improve
also on voicemail which didn’t improve this guy’s temper then he phoned the
this guy’s temper then he phoned the
this guy’s temper then he phoned the audit partner who was also on voicemail
audit partner who was also on voicemail
audit partner who was also on voicemail didn’t move his temper and then he saw
didn’t move his temper and then he saw
didn’t move his temper and then he saw my mobile phone number so he phoned me
my mobile phone number so he phoned me
my mobile phone number so he phoned me asking
asking
asking hello evil Deloitte Consulting smog smog
hello evil Deloitte Consulting smog smog
hello evil Deloitte Consulting smog smog smog and all our Sun telephone I just
smog and all our Sun telephone I just
smog and all our Sun telephone I just heard this vitriol I heard the shouting
heard this vitriol I heard the shouting
heard this vitriol I heard the shouting in words I can’t possibly say in this
in words I can’t possibly say in this
in words I can’t possibly say in this talk and all I wanted to do was pee so I
talk and all I wanted to do was pee so I
talk and all I wanted to do was pee so I was standing there in the middle of the
was standing there in the middle of the
was standing there in the middle of the office clutching my enormous phone
office clutching my enormous phone
office clutching my enormous phone panicking thinking I need the loo I need
panicking thinking I need the loo I need
panicking thinking I need the loo I need the loo any balloon so I managed to pass
the loo any balloon so I managed to pass
the loo any balloon so I managed to pass the phone to someone way above my pay
the phone to someone way above my pay
the phone to someone way above my pay grade and ran down the corridor to have
grade and ran down the corridor to have
grade and ran down the corridor to have a reflect learn on her what had happened
a reflect learn on her what had happened
a reflect learn on her what had happened to me there and I realized that what was
to me there and I realized that what was
to me there and I realized that what was happening that because this shouting and
happening that because this shouting and
happening that because this shouting and swearing had made my body think it was
swearing had made my body think it was
swearing had made my body think it was in peril my amygdala had taken over and
in peril my amygdala had taken over and
in peril my amygdala had taken over and my amygdala had gone busy around my head
my amygdala had gone busy around my head
my amygdala had gone busy around my head trying to find a template to tell me
trying to find a template to tell me
trying to find a template to tell me what to do and the only template it
what to do and the only template it
what to do and the only template it managed to find with a template from
managed to find with a template from
managed to find with a template from when I was three years old so I was
when I was three years old so I was
when I was three years old so I was brought up in Fife in Scotland in a very
brought up in Fife in Scotland in a very
brought up in Fife in Scotland in a very normal kind of 1970s background where
normal kind of 1970s background where
normal kind of 1970s background where girls are girls you know we were dresses
girls are girls you know we were dresses
girls are girls you know we were dresses and had blonde hair and trot around and
and had blonde hair and trot around and
and had blonde hair and trot around and I had been in the garden one day my
I had been in the garden one day my
I had been in the garden one day my father would come out because he
father would come out because he
father would come out because he discovered an accident with a piece of
discovered an accident with a piece of
discovered an accident with a piece of family China as small as he’s smashed by
family China as small as he’s smashed by
family China as small as he’s smashed by falling jam John clearly it’s my fault
falling jam John clearly it’s my fault
falling jam John clearly it’s my fault so connect the gand find me
so connect the gand find me
so connect the gand find me I was trotting around the sandpit and he
I was trotting around the sandpit and he
I was trotting around the sandpit and he came over roaring away at me telling me
came over roaring away at me telling me
came over roaring away at me telling me off about this desperate thing and of
off about this desperate thing and of
off about this desperate thing and of course when you’re three what is really
course when you’re three what is really
course when you’re three what is really top strategy if your dad’s shouting you
top strategy if your dad’s shouting you
top strategy if your dad’s shouting you want him to go away because if you wet
want him to go away because if you wet
want him to go away because if you wet yourself we’ll get your mother look and
yourself we’ll get your mother look and
yourself we’ll get your mother look and then he leaves you to it brilliant
then he leaves you to it brilliant
then he leaves you to it brilliant brilliant so really good strategy when
brilliant so really good strategy when
brilliant so really good strategy when you’re three not all really very good
you’re three not all really very good
you’re three not all really very good strategy when you’re thirty frankly a
strategy when you’re thirty frankly a
strategy when you’re thirty frankly a bit career limiting I’d say so when I
bit career limiting I’d say so when I
bit career limiting I’d say so when I had a look at it I thought well crikey
had a look at it I thought well crikey
had a look at it I thought well crikey what is happening between the age of
what is happening between the age of
what is happening between the age of three and thirty that I have nothing in
three and thirty that I have nothing in
three and thirty that I have nothing in there I have an empty filing cabinet in
there I have an empty filing cabinet in
there I have an empty filing cabinet in my amygdala and it was because being
my amygdala and it was because being
my amygdala and it was because being that nice five 1970s girlie it hadn’t
that nice five 1970s girlie it hadn’t
that nice five 1970s girlie it hadn’t been really encouraged that I should you
been really encouraged that I should you
been really encouraged that I should you know incur the wrath of chaps in
know incur the wrath of chaps in
know incur the wrath of chaps in particular no off at all actually
particular no off at all actually
particular no off at all actually tick tock chaps so actually I had
tick tock chaps so actually I had
tick tock chaps so actually I had nothing really between the age of three
nothing really between the age of three
nothing really between the age of three and four
and four
and four of chat statically so I then decided
of chat statically so I then decided
of chat statically so I then decided what I need to do was have an experiment
what I need to do was have an experiment
what I need to do was have an experiment which was my picking fights with chaps
which was my picking fights with chaps
which was my picking fights with chaps experiment so I spent a whole year
experiment so I spent a whole year
experiment so I spent a whole year gently picking fights with chaps so
gently picking fights with chaps so
gently picking fights with chaps so Heather – I’d be a city of meetings and
Heather – I’d be a city of meetings and
Heather – I’d be a city of meetings and someone would say something clearly
someone would say something clearly
someone would say something clearly odious and I can’t go her that’s the way
odious and I can’t go her that’s the way
odious and I can’t go her that’s the way the girls do then I think me be like Oh
the girls do then I think me be like Oh
the girls do then I think me be like Oh God and so I thought I’d up my game and
God and so I thought I’d up my game and
God and so I thought I’d up my game and go passive-aggressive writing down of
go passive-aggressive writing down of
go passive-aggressive writing down of stupid remark and then sort of raising
stupid remark and then sort of raising
stupid remark and then sort of raising my game saying can you repeat that and
my game saying can you repeat that and
my game saying can you repeat that and can you repeat that and sort of raising
can you repeat that and sort of raising
can you repeat that and sort of raising my game until if I know I was saying
my game until if I know I was saying
my game until if I know I was saying what’s your evidence that I’m not sure
what’s your evidence that I’m not sure
what’s your evidence that I’m not sure ability so I got quite good at it and I
ability so I got quite good at it and I
ability so I got quite good at it and I wasn’t sure acid test came so when I was
wasn’t sure acid test came so when I was
wasn’t sure acid test came so when I was in the car park of the Berkhamsted
in the car park of the Berkhamsted
in the car park of the Berkhamsted Chinese takeaway and the phone rang I
Chinese takeaway and the phone rang I
Chinese takeaway and the phone rang I was on my colleagues Westridge and he
was on my colleagues Westridge and he
was on my colleagues Westridge and he was ranting and I stood there with phone
was ranting and I stood there with phone
was ranting and I stood there with phone smaller phone 10 years old you know
smaller phone 10 years old you know
smaller phone 10 years old you know don’t my ear and rant rant rant and
don’t my ear and rant rant rant and
don’t my ear and rant rant rant and actually I thought fine nothing going on
actually I thought fine nothing going on
actually I thought fine nothing going on at all all I could hear was sort of
at all all I could hear was sort of
at all all I could hear was sort of voices in my head saying don’t panic
voices in my head saying don’t panic
voices in my head saying don’t panic just let him talk he’s really crossed is
just let him talk he’s really crossed is
just let him talk he’s really crossed is listen just getting active listening you
listen just getting active listening you
listen just getting active listening you know he’d be on course and so it’s great
know he’d be on course and so it’s great
know he’d be on course and so it’s great and I felt totally calm and fly and I
and I felt totally calm and fly and I
and I felt totally calm and fly and I thought gosh it hasn’t actually taken me
thought gosh it hasn’t actually taken me
thought gosh it hasn’t actually taken me very long with my picking fights with
very long with my picking fights with
very long with my picking fights with chaps experiment of the year to just
chaps experiment of the year to just
chaps experiment of the year to just start replacing templates through so I
start replacing templates through so I
start replacing templates through so I want to talk to you about why I think
want to talk to you about why I think
want to talk to you about why I think that’s really important for all of us
that’s really important for all of us
that’s really important for all of us because it does talk right into this
because it does talk right into this
because it does talk right into this idea about your fears so if you think
idea about your fears so if you think
idea about your fears so if you think about it what we’re trying to do in
about it what we’re trying to do in
about it what we’re trying to do in understanding the difference between
understanding the difference between
understanding the difference between your neocortex and your amygdala is
your neocortex and your amygdala is
your neocortex and your amygdala is trying to understand what kinds of
trying to understand what kinds of
trying to understand what kinds of templates do you need that would stop
templates do you need that would stop
templates do you need that would stop you being scared of things because then
you being scared of things because then
you being scared of things because then under pressure you would feel resource
under pressure you would feel resource
under pressure you would feel resource to cope
to cope
to cope so my first string of pearls I inherited
so my first string of pearls I inherited
so my first string of pearls I inherited from my great grandmother who was bought
from my great grandmother who was bought
from my great grandmother who was bought on the Hampton Court Palace
on the Hampton Court Palace
on the Hampton Court Palace my second string of pearls was a present
my second string of pearls was a present
my second string of pearls was a present for my husband when I worked to delight
for my husband when I worked to delight
for my husband when I worked to delight because hat garden was just over the
because hat garden was just over the
because hat garden was just over the road my first finger pulse I got in
road my first finger pulse I got in
road my first finger pulse I got in Beijing when I took the MBA students out
Beijing when I took the MBA students out
Beijing when I took the MBA students out on a tour and the third string of pearls
on a tour and the third string of pearls
on a tour and the third string of pearls aren’t real pearls they’re simulated
aren’t real pearls they’re simulated
aren’t real pearls they’re simulated pearls and I don’t if you know how to
pearls and I don’t if you know how to
pearls and I don’t if you know how to make pearls but what you do with these
make pearls but what you do with these
make pearls but what you do with these sorts of pearls is you inject a bead
sorts of pearls is you inject a bead
sorts of pearls is you inject a bead into the oyster so slightly bigger than
into the oyster so slightly bigger than
into the oyster so slightly bigger than just a speck of dust but it’s enough to
just a speck of dust but it’s enough to
just a speck of dust but it’s enough to trigger
trigger
trigger that immune response from the ice to
that immune response from the ice to
that immune response from the ice to cover it in Laker so that you get
cover it in Laker so that you get
cover it in Laker so that you get something that looks remarkably similar
something that looks remarkably similar
something that looks remarkably similar to the first string of pearls the real
to the first string of pearls the real
to the first string of pearls the real ones and that’s really where we’re going
ones and that’s really where we’re going
ones and that’s really where we’re going with this it’s a bit like trying to
with this it’s a bit like trying to
with this it’s a bit like trying to you’re on Strictly you’ve drawn the
you’re on Strictly you’ve drawn the
you’re on Strictly you’ve drawn the tango and you kind of know how to do the
tango and you kind of know how to do the
tango and you kind of know how to do the tango you sort of taught your body how
tango you sort of taught your body how
tango you sort of taught your body how to do the tango but you don’t really
to do the tango but you don’t really
to do the tango but you don’t really know how it’s going to be on the day you
know how it’s going to be on the day you
know how it’s going to be on the day you don’t quite know how your nerves will be
don’t quite know how your nerves will be
don’t quite know how your nerves will be what the particular crowd will be if
what the particular crowd will be if
what the particular crowd will be if your partner be as reliable as you have
your partner be as reliable as you have
your partner be as reliable as you have been rehearsal but what you do is you
been rehearsal but what you do is you
been rehearsal but what you do is you rehearse enough to know that there’s not
rehearse enough to know that there’s not
rehearse enough to know that there’s not very much of a gap between your
very much of a gap between your
very much of a gap between your technical talent and what you might need
technical talent and what you might need
technical talent and what you might need on the day to do through adrenaline I
on the day to do through adrenaline I
on the day to do through adrenaline I don’t know how many of you know your
don’t know how many of you know your
don’t know how many of you know your actors but Laurence Olivier was
actors but Laurence Olivier was
actors but Laurence Olivier was apparently desperately desperately
apparently desperately desperately
apparently desperately desperately stayed suffered from stage fright and he
stayed suffered from stage fright and he
stayed suffered from stage fright and he used to be puking in two buckets in the
used to be puking in two buckets in the
used to be puking in two buckets in the wings before he went on and he was once
wings before he went on and he was once
wings before he went on and he was once interviewed about this and they said
interviewed about this and they said
interviewed about this and they said well how do you manage because you know
well how do you manage because you know
well how do you manage because you know you’re very famous actor but you seem to
you’re very famous actor but you seem to
you’re very famous actor but you seem to be absolutely paralyzed by stage fright
be absolutely paralyzed by stage fright
be absolutely paralyzed by stage fright he said well I send on mr. technique and
he said well I send on mr. technique and
he said well I send on mr. technique and I hope to follow him later and I’m
I hope to follow him later and I’m
I hope to follow him later and I’m really interested in how we can actually
really interested in how we can actually
really interested in how we can actually just schedule in our fears so that we
just schedule in our fears so that we
just schedule in our fears so that we design them out of our lives because
design them out of our lives because
design them out of our lives because what we know is there are certain things
what we know is there are certain things
what we know is there are certain things you need to be able to do to get on in
you need to be able to do to get on in
you need to be able to do to get on in life whether it’s for a particular
life whether it’s for a particular
life whether it’s for a particular leadership role or a particular career
leadership role or a particular career
leadership role or a particular career that you have in mind and there are
that you have in mind and there are
that you have in mind and there are probably some things that are stopping
probably some things that are stopping
probably some things that are stopping you moving towards that because you’re
you moving towards that because you’re
you moving towards that because you’re terrified and what we know from the
terrified and what we know from the
terrified and what we know from the neurobiology is if you just start
neurobiology is if you just start
neurobiology is if you just start practicing a bit like by picking fights
practicing a bit like by picking fights
practicing a bit like by picking fights with chaps you will start building
with chaps you will start building
with chaps you will start building resilience to be able to keep going so
resilience to be able to keep going so
resilience to be able to keep going so you may have heard all of these stories
you may have heard all of these stories
you may have heard all of these stories in the papers about hysterical strength
in the papers about hysterical strength
in the papers about hysterical strength when grannies live tractors off toddlers
when grannies live tractors off toddlers
when grannies live tractors off toddlers because they can and there’s no
because they can and there’s no
because they can and there’s no particular reason that they should be
particular reason that they should be
particular reason that they should be able to which is why it’s called
able to which is why it’s called
able to which is why it’s called hysterical strength and it’s a bit like
hysterical strength and it’s a bit like
hysterical strength and it’s a bit like that in your head you’ll have heard
that in your head you’ll have heard
that in your head you’ll have heard about the fight-or-flight it’s actually
about the fight-or-flight it’s actually
about the fight-or-flight it’s actually fight then flight because you have to
fight then flight because you have to
fight then flight because you have to optimize to assess the threat before you
optimize to assess the threat before you
optimize to assess the threat before you decide whether you’re going to fight or
decide whether you’re going to fight or
decide whether you’re going to fight or flight and what happens then is your
flight and what happens then is your
flight and what happens then is your brain makes a decision about whether
brain makes a decision about whether
brain makes a decision about whether your resource to cope and in the case of
your resource to cope and in the case of
your resource to cope and in the case of these grannies lifting you know trucks
these grannies lifting you know trucks
these grannies lifting you know trucks off babies they do feel results to cope
off babies they do feel results to cope
off babies they do feel results to cope even though technically they shouldn’t
even though technically they shouldn’t
even though technically they shouldn’t be able to so you don’t even necessarily
be able to so you don’t even necessarily
be able to so you don’t even necessarily have to know
have to know
have to know know that you can do something you just
know that you can do something you just
know that you can do something you just ability to believe psychologically you
ability to believe psychologically you
ability to believe psychologically you might be able to so my invitation to use
might be able to so my invitation to use
might be able to so my invitation to use to start thinking about some of the
to start thinking about some of the
to start thinking about some of the things that you fear and just scheduling
things that you fear and just scheduling
things that you fear and just scheduling them in shuttling in little practices
them in shuttling in little practices
them in shuttling in little practices and little templates to give you the
and little templates to give you the
and little templates to give you the muscle memory to know a bit like the
muscle memory to know a bit like the
muscle memory to know a bit like the simulated pearl that you’re not that far
simulated pearl that you’re not that far
simulated pearl that you’re not that far off so I’ve called the talk leader
off so I’ve called the talk leader
off so I’ve called the talk leader smithing because I was sitting at my
smithing because I was sitting at my
smithing because I was sitting at my sister’s wedding and she was marrying a
sister’s wedding and she was marrying a
sister’s wedding and she was marrying a man called mr. Smith and she was a bit
man called mr. Smith and she was a bit
man called mr. Smith and she was a bit worried everyone thought you marry a man
worried everyone thought you marry a man
worried everyone thought you marry a man called Smith what’s that about and so
called Smith what’s that about and so
called Smith what’s that about and so she did this brilliant speech about how
she did this brilliant speech about how
she did this brilliant speech about how fabulous the name Smith is and it was
fabulous the name Smith is and it was
fabulous the name Smith is and it was quoting from Chester turn and all this
quoting from Chester turn and all this
quoting from Chester turn and all this stuff I sounded thinking you know
stuff I sounded thinking you know
stuff I sounded thinking you know smithing is exactly what we mean
smithing is exactly what we mean
smithing is exactly what we mean leadership sounds a very sort of static
leadership sounds a very sort of static
leadership sounds a very sort of static concept but actually whatever you’re
concept but actually whatever you’re
concept but actually whatever you’re leading whatever your realm is what you
leading whatever your realm is what you
leading whatever your realm is what you are doing is you are being crafty about
are doing is you are being crafty about
are doing is you are being crafty about it you are having to hone your skills
it you are having to hone your skills
it you are having to hone your skills towards mastery day-in day-out it’s not
towards mastery day-in day-out it’s not
towards mastery day-in day-out it’s not just a button that gets pressed it’s
just a button that gets pressed it’s
just a button that gets pressed it’s those daily occurrences where you see
those daily occurrences where you see
those daily occurrences where you see something happening and you have to
something happening and you have to
something happening and you have to respond well to it so that people can
respond well to it so that people can
respond well to it so that people can follow your lead and I have a my last
follow your lead and I have a my last
follow your lead and I have a my last exhibit to show you before we finish
exhibit to show you before we finish
exhibit to show you before we finish which is a miniature font and it’s
which is a miniature font and it’s
which is a miniature font and it’s actually a catch with font and it’s from
actually a catch with font and it’s from
actually a catch with font and it’s from the lizard Peninsula in Cornwall and
the lizard Peninsula in Cornwall and
the lizard Peninsula in Cornwall and those of you who are studying geology
those of you who are studying geology
those of you who are studying geology will know the only place you find this
will know the only place you find this
will know the only place you find this sort of marble serpentine in the UK is
sort of marble serpentine in the UK is
sort of marble serpentine in the UK is the lizard penance you know you can just
the lizard penance you know you can just
the lizard penance you know you can just dig in your garden it’s right there and
dig in your garden it’s right there and
dig in your garden it’s right there and the tradition was that if you wanted to
the tradition was that if you wanted to
the tradition was that if you wanted to work this particular stone you would go
work this particular stone you would go
work this particular stone you would go down and be apprenticed to a stonemason
down and be apprenticed to a stonemason
down and be apprenticed to a stonemason in the cage with Peninsula in the lizard
in the cage with Peninsula in the lizard
in the cage with Peninsula in the lizard Peninsula and catch with and after seven
Peninsula and catch with and after seven
Peninsula and catch with and after seven years of apprenticeship you would be
years of apprenticeship you would be
years of apprenticeship you would be able to graduate and you did that by
able to graduate and you did that by
able to graduate and you did that by producing an apprentice piece to show
producing an apprentice piece to show
producing an apprentice piece to show you and your master and the rest of the
you and your master and the rest of the
you and your master and the rest of the guild that you would job ready for the
guild that you would job ready for the
guild that you would job ready for the big staff so you did something perfectly
big staff so you did something perfectly
big staff so you did something perfectly in miniature and I’d really like to
in miniature and I’d really like to
in miniature and I’d really like to encourage you all to think about what
encourage you all to think about what
encourage you all to think about what you could start doing perfectly in
you could start doing perfectly in
you could start doing perfectly in miniature that would just start the baby
miniature that would just start the baby
miniature that would just start the baby steps towards conquering the fears that
steps towards conquering the fears that
steps towards conquering the fears that you have all the things that holding you
you have all the things that holding you
you have all the things that holding you back from the life that you want of the
back from the life that you want of the
back from the life that you want of the person that you want to be because if
person that you want to be because if
person that you want to be because if you think about it you can’t have the
you think about it you can’t have the
you think about it you can’t have the pearls without the peril and if you
pearls without the peril and if you
pearls without the peril and if you think about it
think about it
think about it my tiara back on you think about the
my tiara back on you think about the
my tiara back on you think about the world around at the moment there are a
world around at the moment there are a
world around at the moment there are a lot of things it’s a way more important
lot of things it’s a way more important
lot of things it’s a way more important than fear so good luck with your leaders
than fear so good luck with your leaders
than fear so good luck with your leaders nothing
nothing
nothing [Applause]
”
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