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How to guarantee your friends will like you more | Vikram Vij | TEDxStanleyPark


[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] namaste my name is Vikram bridge and I’m

namaste my name is Vikram bridge and I’m

namaste my name is Vikram bridge and I’m a chef and I’m here to talk to you about

a chef and I’m here to talk to you about

a chef and I’m here to talk to you about food family and friends but first let’s

food family and friends but first let’s

food family and friends but first let’s talk a little bit about food and porn

or as they call it on Instagram hashtag

or as they call it on Instagram hashtag food poor now why am I here to talk to

food poor now why am I here to talk to

food poor now why am I here to talk to you about food and porn because it

you about food and porn because it

you about food and porn because it bothers me to no end to see this social

bothers me to no end to see this social

bothers me to no end to see this social media addiction is destroying a

media addiction is destroying a

media addiction is destroying a beautiful relationship between food

beautiful relationship between food

beautiful relationship between food friends and family

this my friends is a weapon of mass

this my friends is a weapon of mass destruction

it’s coming in aware of her friendships

it’s coming in aware of her friendships one text one tweet one selfie at a time

when Indians greet each other they say

when Indians greet each other they say namaste meaning I honor you you honor me

namaste meaning I honor you you honor me

namaste meaning I honor you you honor me our entire universe is right here

imagine how deeply connected we would be

imagine how deeply connected we would be with our family and friends if we

with our family and friends if we

with our family and friends if we practice the meaning of namaste every

practice the meaning of namaste every

practice the meaning of namaste every day of our lives just the way we are

day of our lives just the way we are

day of our lives just the way we are right now I honor all of you you are

right now I honor all of you you are

right now I honor all of you you are honoring me and our entire universe is

honoring me and our entire universe is

honoring me and our entire universe is right here here’s a typical scene that

right here here’s a typical scene that

right here here’s a typical scene that happens at my restaurants a lovely

happens at my restaurants a lovely

happens at my restaurants a lovely couple comes and sits down and I

couple comes and sits down and I

couple comes and sits down and I approach them with my menus and I go up

approach them with my menus and I go up

approach them with my menus and I go up and say good evening welcome to vigils

and say good evening welcome to vigils

and say good evening welcome to vigils can I offer you a glass of wine or beer

can I offer you a glass of wine or beer

can I offer you a glass of wine or beer to start you off with and guess what he

to start you off with and guess what he

to start you off with and guess what he does guess what the dude does he pulls

does guess what the dude does he pulls

does guess what the dude does he pulls out his cell phone and takes a

out his cell phone and takes a

out his cell phone and takes a photograph off the menu like the

photograph off the menu like the

photograph off the menu like the pictures of the food on the menu he’s

pictures of the food on the menu he’s

pictures of the food on the menu he’s taking a picture of a picture

something is wrong with that picture and

something is wrong with that picture and and what is she knowing she is so upset

and what is she knowing she is so upset

and what is she knowing she is so upset she has a long face it’s longer than my

she has a long face it’s longer than my

she has a long face it’s longer than my menu do you know anybody who takes their

menu do you know anybody who takes their

menu do you know anybody who takes their phone to bed do you know anybody who

phone to bed do you know anybody who

phone to bed do you know anybody who takes their phone to the toilet do you

takes their phone to the toilet do you

takes their phone to the toilet do you know anybody who takes their phone and

know anybody who takes their phone and

know anybody who takes their phone and would simply die if their phone died

okay just blink if that person is

okay just blink if that person is sitting next to you and if that person

sitting next to you and if that person

sitting next to you and if that person is you let me tell you something the

is you let me tell you something the

is you let me tell you something the reason why this is called a cell phone

reason why this is called a cell phone

reason why this is called a cell phone is because it’s put you in a Cell it’s

is because it’s put you in a Cell it’s

is because it’s put you in a Cell it’s put you in a prison

put you in a prison

put you in a prison and honestly posting on social media

and honestly posting on social media

and honestly posting on social media thank you

and and posting on social media while

and and posting on social media while you’re socializing is like the most

you’re socializing is like the most

you’re socializing is like the most antisocial thing you can do

like like imagine like imagine you go

like like imagine like imagine you go home from work you’re tired you need a

home from work you’re tired you need a

home from work you’re tired you need a little bit of love you need a little bit

little bit of love you need a little bit

little bit of love you need a little bit of attention you open the door of your

of attention you open the door of your

of attention you open the door of your apartment and even your bloody dog

apartment and even your bloody dog

apartment and even your bloody dog ignores you

look don’t do this right now but if you

look don’t do this right now but if you search the word hashtag social media

search the word hashtag social media

search the word hashtag social media addiction you will get 1111 hits how is

addiction you will get 1111 hits how is

addiction you will get 1111 hits how is that possible there are more than 1,000

that possible there are more than 1,000

that possible there are more than 1,000 social media addicts in this auditorium

admitted folks admitting to your crime

admitted folks admitting to your crime is the first road to recovery

I think they teach that to you in a

I think they teach that to you in a program and on the first day called

program and on the first day called

program and on the first day called alcoholics I’ll keep the last name

alcoholics I’ll keep the last name

alcoholics I’ll keep the last name anonymous

do you know why

do you know why the chicken cross the road why did the

the chicken cross the road why did the

the chicken cross the road why did the chicken cross the road in a hurry

because it was tired of being

because it was tired of being photographed in a hurry

social media addiction is not a

social media addiction is not a victimless crime

victimless crime

victimless crime the first victim is you because once

the first victim is you because once

the first victim is you because once you’re hooked you cooked your toast you

you’re hooked you cooked your toast you

you’re hooked you cooked your toast you actually think that every waking moment

actually think that every waking moment

actually think that every waking moment of your day is a photo op you don’t even

of your day is a photo op you don’t even

of your day is a photo op you don’t even own the phone the phone owns you for me

music is the food of love and love of

music is the food of love and love of food is love of life and I learned that

food is love of life and I learned that

food is love of life and I learned that at a very young age from my mother and

at a very young age from my mother and

at a very young age from my mother and my grandmother when we went to the

my grandmother when we went to the

my grandmother when we went to the bazaars of India and we walked through

bazaars of India and we walked through

bazaars of India and we walked through the aisles we would look at these

the aisles we would look at these

the aisles we would look at these beautiful produce of onions and ginger

beautiful produce of onions and ginger

beautiful produce of onions and ginger and garlic and my mom would pick up

and garlic and my mom would pick up

and garlic and my mom would pick up these beautiful tomatoes she would look

these beautiful tomatoes she would look

these beautiful tomatoes she would look at them she would marvel at them she

at them she would marvel at them she

at them she would marvel at them she would smell them she treated them like

would smell them she treated them like

would smell them she treated them like as if they were like pure diamonds she

as if they were like pure diamonds she

as if they were like pure diamonds she would come home and make this absolutely

would come home and make this absolutely

would come home and make this absolutely delicious and absolutely flavorful

delicious and absolutely flavorful

delicious and absolutely flavorful tomato curry and she made it with so

tomato curry and she made it with so

tomato curry and she made it with so much attention and love that the dishes

much attention and love that the dishes

much attention and love that the dishes tasted lovely uh I was on ten years old

tasted lovely uh I was on ten years old

tasted lovely uh I was on ten years old and I was coming back from a trip with

and I was coming back from a trip with

and I was coming back from a trip with my father we were sitting in this

my father we were sitting in this

my father we were sitting in this rickety old bus this was in war-torn

rickety old bus this was in war-torn

rickety old bus this was in war-torn Kashmir so the buses were not fancy and

Kashmir so the buses were not fancy and

Kashmir so the buses were not fancy and I’m sitting at this rickety old bus and

I’m sitting at this rickety old bus and

I’m sitting at this rickety old bus and honestly the bus was so crowded there

honestly the bus was so crowded there

honestly the bus was so crowded there were people who were fishermen and there

were people who were fishermen and there

were people who were fishermen and there were people who were farmers on the bus

were people who were farmers on the bus

were people who were farmers on the bus and the bus was so crowded you could

and the bus was so crowded you could

and the bus was so crowded you could barely breathe I mean the body order

barely breathe I mean the body order

barely breathe I mean the body order plus the

plus the

plus the beautiful fumes of the buses were just

beautiful fumes of the buses were just

beautiful fumes of the buses were just like wow but I couldn’t keep my eyes of

like wow but I couldn’t keep my eyes of

like wow but I couldn’t keep my eyes of this older gentleman that was sitting on

this older gentleman that was sitting on

this older gentleman that was sitting on my right-hand side and went on his lap

my right-hand side and went on his lap

my right-hand side and went on his lap was this rusty old cage in that cage

was this rusty old cage in that cage

was this rusty old cage in that cage were approximately like 50 live chickens

were approximately like 50 live chickens

were approximately like 50 live chickens and they could barely breathe I felt so

and they could barely breathe I felt so

and they could barely breathe I felt so bad for them I looked at my father and

bad for them I looked at my father and

bad for them I looked at my father and said Papa can I please buy one of those

said Papa can I please buy one of those

said Papa can I please buy one of those chickens vikrum this is a bus not a

chickens vikrum this is a bus not a

chickens vikrum this is a bus not a bazaar I will buy you a chicken from the

bazaar I will buy you a chicken from the

bazaar I will buy you a chicken from the bazaar and what are you going to do with

bazaar and what are you going to do with

bazaar and what are you going to do with this live chicken Papa I just want to

this live chicken Papa I just want to

this live chicken Papa I just want to put that chicken out of its misery let

put that chicken out of its misery let

put that chicken out of its misery let me please buy it now to my surprise with

me please buy it now to my surprise with

me please buy it now to my surprise with that typical Indian haggling my father

that typical Indian haggling my father

that typical Indian haggling my father buys me this beautiful chicken and I get

buys me this beautiful chicken and I get

buys me this beautiful chicken and I get this beautiful white chicken I put it on

this beautiful white chicken I put it on

this beautiful white chicken I put it on my lap I stroke it I love it I’m coming

my lap I stroke it I love it I’m coming

my lap I stroke it I love it I’m coming home and I bring it home it felt so good

home and I bring it home it felt so good

home and I bring it home it felt so good that I had saved its life

from its misery now since you asked we

from its misery now since you asked we did have a delicious chicken curry for

did have a delicious chicken curry for

did have a delicious chicken curry for dinner that night but we had it with

dinner that night but we had it with

dinner that night but we had it with gratitude and love when my mom brought

gratitude and love when my mom brought

gratitude and love when my mom brought that part of chicken curry in front of

that part of chicken curry in front of

that part of chicken curry in front of all of us in the family and we lifted it

all of us in the family and we lifted it

all of us in the family and we lifted it up all the aromas of the chicken bones

up all the aromas of the chicken bones

up all the aromas of the chicken bones and the spices but just absolutely

and the spices but just absolutely

and the spices but just absolutely delicious and heavenly and no I do not

delicious and heavenly and no I do not

delicious and heavenly and no I do not regret not taking a photograph of that

regret not taking a photograph of that

regret not taking a photograph of that moment

that moment has been embedded in my head

that moment has been embedded in my head that photograph has been embedded in my

that photograph has been embedded in my

that photograph has been embedded in my head in my heart that photograph and

head in my heart that photograph and

head in my heart that photograph and that moment has lasted me a lifetime

think about it they died so we can live

think about it they died so we can live it doesn’t get any more holistic than

it doesn’t get any more holistic than

it doesn’t get any more holistic than that think about it

of course I acknowledge the fact that

of course I acknowledge the fact that social media plays a huge role in our

social media plays a huge role in our

social media plays a huge role in our restaurants when people take a little

restaurants when people take a little

restaurants when people take a little selfie they when they take a little you

selfie they when they take a little you

selfie they when they take a little you know the right to review about you

know the right to review about you

know the right to review about you people become raving fans they even want

people become raving fans they even want

people become raving fans they even want to take selfies with me but what I’m

to take selfies with me but what I’m

to take selfies with me but what I’m saying is that this social media

saying is that this social media

saying is that this social media addiction is ruining the real essence

addiction is ruining the real essence

addiction is ruining the real essence and soul of dining together with your

and soul of dining together with your

and soul of dining together with your family and your friends look I’m not

family and your friends look I’m not

family and your friends look I’m not your dad well at least I hope I’m not

but I can only do my small part next

but I can only do my small part next time you go to a restaurant

time you go to a restaurant

time you go to a restaurant keep your phone either in the car or at

keep your phone either in the car or at

keep your phone either in the car or at home

and the first time you do it it’s going

and the first time you do it it’s going to be so scary it’ll be like oh my god

to be so scary it’ll be like oh my god

to be so scary it’ll be like oh my god but trust me the world war won’t break

but trust me the world war won’t break

but trust me the world war won’t break out your friends in cyberspace will

out your friends in cyberspace will

out your friends in cyberspace will still love you the world is not going to

still love you the world is not going to

still love you the world is not going to end but the people that you’re dining

end but the people that you’re dining

end but the people that you’re dining with and having fun and having a great

with and having fun and having a great

with and having fun and having a great conversation and you’re giving them

conversation and you’re giving them

conversation and you’re giving them attention will absolutely love you show

attention will absolutely love you show

attention will absolutely love you show your gratitude to the plants and the

your gratitude to the plants and the

your gratitude to the plants and the animals that have sacrificed themselves

animals that have sacrificed themselves

animals that have sacrificed themselves for you show your gratitude towards the

for you show your gratitude towards the

for you show your gratitude towards the person that has cooked that delicious

person that has cooked that delicious

person that has cooked that delicious meal for you when that beautiful piece

meal for you when that beautiful piece

meal for you when that beautiful piece of non bread comes in front of you take

of non bread comes in front of you take

of non bread comes in front of you take a bite of it dip it in that sauce taste

a bite of it dip it in that sauce taste

a bite of it dip it in that sauce taste it look at the person that sitting

it look at the person that sitting

it look at the person that sitting opposite us and say Bon Appetit

we needed a law to tell us that texting

we needed a law to tell us that texting and driving is unacceptable

and driving is unacceptable

and driving is unacceptable we needed a lot to tell us that smoking

we needed a lot to tell us that smoking

we needed a lot to tell us that smoking is unacceptable in public spaces let’s

is unacceptable in public spaces let’s

is unacceptable in public spaces let’s just make a collective effort and a

just make a collective effort and a

just make a collective effort and a conscious decision to live in the moment

and do not allow anybody to take

and do not allow anybody to take photographs while they’re dining with

photographs while they’re dining with

photographs while they’re dining with their family and friends let’s outsmart

their family and friends let’s outsmart

their family and friends let’s outsmart this smartphone shall we

this smartphone shall we

this smartphone shall we [Applause]

”

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