it’s been a little over a month since I i lost my Doberman Pinscher Sookie and
i lost my Doberman Pinscher Sookie and
i lost my Doberman Pinscher Sookie and she was 8 years old Sookie was a very
she was 8 years old Sookie was a very
she was 8 years old Sookie was a very special being I can’t even begin to tell
special being I can’t even begin to tell
special being I can’t even begin to tell you how many nights I found refuge
you how many nights I found refuge
you how many nights I found refuge carling with her and it is precisely
carling with her and it is precisely
carling with her and it is precisely that sense of refuge of solace and the
that sense of refuge of solace and the
that sense of refuge of solace and the possibility of new beginnings what kept
possibility of new beginnings what kept
possibility of new beginnings what kept me coming back to my dog after the craze
me coming back to my dog after the craze
me coming back to my dog after the craze of the day until it became a necessity
of the day until it became a necessity
of the day until it became a necessity of my soul but I’m not here to talk
of my soul but I’m not here to talk
of my soul but I’m not here to talk about Sookie the sookie I’m not here to
about Sookie the sookie I’m not here to
about Sookie the sookie I’m not here to talk about Sookie only but I must say
talk about Sookie only but I must say
talk about Sookie only but I must say that the idea of regarding her loss
that the idea of regarding her loss
that the idea of regarding her loss still fresh all of a sudden became a lot
still fresh all of a sudden became a lot
still fresh all of a sudden became a lot more appealing to me than what I had
more appealing to me than what I had
more appealing to me than what I had originally intended to present to you
originally intended to present to you
originally intended to present to you here today perhaps after all there is an
here today perhaps after all there is an
here today perhaps after all there is an invisible yet tangible silver lining
invisible yet tangible silver lining
invisible yet tangible silver lining behind the feelings of non belonging not
behind the feelings of non belonging not
behind the feelings of non belonging not be longing and yearning an abandonment
be longing and yearning an abandonment
be longing and yearning an abandonment that we carry on our backs as refugees
that we carry on our backs as refugees
that we carry on our backs as refugees immigrants
immigrants
immigrants and hyphenated identities I’ve been
and hyphenated identities I’ve been
and hyphenated identities I’ve been looking for water lilies on the pavement
looking for water lilies on the pavement
looking for water lilies on the pavement for a diamond shine in the eyes of city
for a diamond shine in the eyes of city
for a diamond shine in the eyes of city workers Oh village boy beware of the
workers Oh village boy beware of the
workers Oh village boy beware of the promise of an English night under the
promise of an English night under the
promise of an English night under the bridges life is also blue port setting
bridges life is also blue port setting
bridges life is also blue port setting the trap for the sailor but I will walk
the trap for the sailor but I will walk
the trap for the sailor but I will walk away and I will race umbrella seconds a
away and I will race umbrella seconds a
away and I will race umbrella seconds a rainstorm and I will ask the stranger
rainstorm and I will ask the stranger
rainstorm and I will ask the stranger not for the loss but for the return of
not for the loss but for the return of
not for the loss but for the return of my rainbow where is my rainbow are the
my rainbow where is my rainbow are the
my rainbow where is my rainbow are the rainbows in New York after the storm New
rainbows in New York after the storm New
rainbows in New York after the storm New York is really what uh what did it for
York is really what uh what did it for
York is really what uh what did it for me I don’t think that I ever had a sense
me I don’t think that I ever had a sense
me I don’t think that I ever had a sense of identity before I moved to New York
of identity before I moved to New York
of identity before I moved to New York or perhaps my sense of identity had
or perhaps my sense of identity had
or perhaps my sense of identity had always been compromised they have been
always been compromised they have been
always been compromised they have been compromised because I was always full
compromised because I was always full
compromised because I was always full who on what to be it was compromised by
who on what to be it was compromised by
who on what to be it was compromised by politics it was compromised by living
politics it was compromised by living
politics it was compromised by living during my early childhood years on the
during my early childhood years on the
during my early childhood years on the regimes there was always the issue of
regimes there was always the issue of
regimes there was always the issue of concealing what you really thought about
concealing what you really thought about
concealing what you really thought about things about life about yourself and
things about life about yourself and
things about life about yourself and when I came to New York in the early 90s
when I came to New York in the early 90s
when I came to New York in the early 90s 1991 to be exact I found what I needed
1991 to be exact I found what I needed
1991 to be exact I found what I needed in order to be able to reassess the idea
in order to be able to reassess the idea
in order to be able to reassess the idea that i had about myself and that was a
that i had about myself and that was a
that i had about myself and that was a time when people were very creative the
time when people were very creative the
time when people were very creative the in this village I hadn’t been gentrified
in this village I hadn’t been gentrified
in this village I hadn’t been gentrified yet so people hadn’t still moved to you
yet so people hadn’t still moved to you
yet so people hadn’t still moved to you know Williamsburg and other boroughs in
know Williamsburg and other boroughs in
know Williamsburg and other boroughs in order to be able to survive as artists
order to be able to survive as artists
order to be able to survive as artists so it is in your where I gained that
so it is in your where I gained that
so it is in your where I gained that sense of identity we can all do this
sense of identity we can all do this
sense of identity we can all do this right it’s a haiku for the hopeful can
right it’s a haiku for the hopeful can
right it’s a haiku for the hopeful can you help me with this I’m starting to
you help me with this I’m starting to
you help me with this I’m starting to light rainy days I have a spare Sun in
light rainy days I have a spare Sun in
light rainy days I have a spare Sun in my wallet after all I created underneath
my wallet after all I created underneath
my wallet after all I created underneath the accent of my skin as an umbrella as
the accent of my skin as an umbrella as
the accent of my skin as an umbrella as a creative umbrella to bring art to the
a creative umbrella to bring art to the
a creative umbrella to bring art to the community and when I say art is
community and when I say art is
community and when I say art is primarily in the two main disciplines
primarily in the two main disciplines
primarily in the two main disciplines that I utilized in order to express
that I utilized in order to express
that I utilized in order to express myself and my ideas creative writing and
myself and my ideas creative writing and
myself and my ideas creative writing and visual arts so underneath the underneath
visual arts so underneath the underneath
visual arts so underneath the underneath the accent of my skin came about as a
the accent of my skin came about as a
the accent of my skin came about as a personal need to bring into the picture
personal need to bring into the picture
personal need to bring into the picture where I was coming from the idea of what
where I was coming from the idea of what
where I was coming from the idea of what it is to be first a refugee because I
it is to be first a refugee because I
it is to be first a refugee because I came to America as a as a political
came to America as a as a political
came to America as a as a political refugee and we do have the definition of
refugee and we do have the definition of
refugee and we do have the definition of refugee here according to the American
refugee here according to the American
refugee here according to the American heritage 5th edition I want to be clear
heritage 5th edition I want to be clear
heritage 5th edition I want to be clear with the with the citations here yes so
with the with the citations here yes so
with the with the citations here yes so there I was and that also it’s part of
there I was and that also it’s part of
there I was and that also it’s part of who I am but the journey dozin doesn’t
who I am but the journey dozin doesn’t
who I am but the journey dozin doesn’t end there right so these are dynamic
end there right so these are dynamic
end there right so these are dynamic concepts and also what I what I have
concepts and also what I what I have
concepts and also what I what I have realized over the years is that that
realized over the years is that that
realized over the years is that that term particularly doesn’t do justice to
term particularly doesn’t do justice to
term particularly doesn’t do justice to how I think of myself and that perhaps
how I think of myself and that perhaps
how I think of myself and that perhaps the idea of being a refugee was another
the idea of being a refugee was another
the idea of being a refugee was another identity at some point but I don’t think
identity at some point but I don’t think
identity at some point but I don’t think that after being in this country for 20
that after being in this country for 20
that after being in this country for 20 something years I’m still a refugee so I
something years I’m still a refugee so I
something years I’m still a refugee so I found this all the concept right which
found this all the concept right which
found this all the concept right which is immigrant and I think that
is immigrant and I think that
is immigrant and I think that in one way or another we can all relate
in one way or another we can all relate
in one way or another we can all relate to that unless you are an
to that unless you are an
to that unless you are an african-american or a Native American we
african-american or a Native American we
african-american or a Native American we are all immigrants in one way or another
are all immigrants in one way or another
are all immigrants in one way or another and I do have the definition of
and I do have the definition of
and I do have the definition of immigrant here and then I run into this
in his article the value of a hyphenated
in his article the value of a hyphenated identity published by the Center for
identity published by the Center for
identity published by the Center for Immigration Studies on january nineteen
Immigration Studies on january nineteen
Immigration Studies on january nineteen of 2011 dr. Stanley Ranchin argues that
of 2011 dr. Stanley Ranchin argues that
of 2011 dr. Stanley Ranchin argues that hyphenation helps new immigrants resolve
hyphenation helps new immigrants resolve
hyphenation helps new immigrants resolve a very personal and consequential set of
a very personal and consequential set of
a very personal and consequential set of questions how can I get knowledge who I
questions how can I get knowledge who I
questions how can I get knowledge who I am while at the same time recognizing
am while at the same time recognizing
am while at the same time recognizing the reality of a fresh start in a new
the reality of a fresh start in a new
the reality of a fresh start in a new country of whose community I would like
country of whose community I would like
country of whose community I would like to be a part but it does more than this
to be a part but it does more than this
to be a part but it does more than this the core of identities value this is the
the core of identities value this is the
the core of identities value this is the Jews the core of identities value in the
Jews the core of identities value in the
Jews the core of identities value in the United States is that in spite of
United States is that in spite of
United States is that in spite of efforts on the part of some to make it
efforts on the part of some to make it
efforts on the part of some to make it ascribed on the basis of race gender
ascribed on the basis of race gender
ascribed on the basis of race gender economic status or nationality identity
economic status or nationality identity
economic status or nationality identity here remains fundamentally a matter of
here remains fundamentally a matter of
here remains fundamentally a matter of personal choice identity is a matter of
personal choice identity is a matter of
personal choice identity is a matter of personal choice and that personal choice
personal choice and that personal choice
personal choice and that personal choice for me was to become an artist and to
for me was to become an artist and to
for me was to become an artist and to become a writer one of the most
become a writer one of the most
become a writer one of the most interesting things that happens to any
interesting things that happens to any
interesting things that happens to any individual in the process of up growing
individual in the process of up growing
individual in the process of up growing up I’m maturing as such is the fact that
up I’m maturing as such is the fact that
up I’m maturing as such is the fact that we understand that identity is
we understand that identity is
we understand that identity is ultimately a construct we have always
ultimately a construct we have always
ultimately a construct we have always been told who to be on how to behave
been told who to be on how to behave
been told who to be on how to behave right there isn’t really a real identity
right there isn’t really a real identity
right there isn’t really a real identity until you find that in arts particularly
until you find that in arts particularly
until you find that in arts particularly in poetry and in the visual arts the
in poetry and in the visual arts the
in poetry and in the visual arts the possibilities that art gives to humans
possibilities that art gives to humans
possibilities that art gives to humans in regard to reassessing who they think
in regard to reassessing who they think
in regard to reassessing who they think they are and where they come from is
they are and where they come from is
they are and where they come from is limitless everything else is limited
limitless everything else is limited
limitless everything else is limited open / I see them walk by bar soaps on
open / I see them walk by bar soaps on
open / I see them walk by bar soaps on their mordant trenchant tremulous feet I
their mordant trenchant tremulous feet I
their mordant trenchant tremulous feet I see them churning the one block City
see them churning the one block City
see them churning the one block City Express I see the meandering crawling
Express I see the meandering crawling
Express I see the meandering crawling crawling creeping crooning cropping
crawling creeping crooning cropping
crawling creeping crooning cropping crossing leaning against jumping against
crossing leaning against jumping against
crossing leaning against jumping against I see them walking by walking by walking
I see them walking by walking by walking
I see them walking by walking by walking by marching platoon of the lonely at the
by marching platoon of the lonely at the
by marching platoon of the lonely at the mercy of 24 x 7 365 days of one
mercy of 24 x 7 365 days of one
mercy of 24 x 7 365 days of one desperate season I see them at the mercy
desperate season I see them at the mercy
desperate season I see them at the mercy of the wind at the mercy of the snow at
of the wind at the mercy of the snow at
of the wind at the mercy of the snow at the mercy of full moons without tangible
the mercy of full moons without tangible
the mercy of full moons without tangible territory and the grayish skyline around
territory and the grayish skyline around
territory and the grayish skyline around New York’s gigantic garbage cans under
New York’s gigantic garbage cans under
New York’s gigantic garbage cans under neon lights and softer street lamps in a
neon lights and softer street lamps in a
neon lights and softer street lamps in a hurry I see them running runners I wash
hurry I see them running runners I wash
hurry I see them running runners I wash them on the corners asexual a political
them on the corners asexual a political
them on the corners asexual a political a social uncertain unmanageable
a social uncertain unmanageable
a social uncertain unmanageable apocalyptic and suicidal I feel them
apocalyptic and suicidal I feel them
apocalyptic and suicidal I feel them terrified in the midst of the tellurians
terrified in the midst of the tellurians
terrified in the midst of the tellurians storm of the century I see them as I’ve
storm of the century I see them as I’ve
storm of the century I see them as I’ve seen myself somber fragile and deserted
seen myself somber fragile and deserted
seen myself somber fragile and deserted I wash them still looking for the
I wash them still looking for the
I wash them still looking for the English rock and countless for I look at
English rock and countless for I look at
English rock and countless for I look at them and silently remind myself of who I
them and silently remind myself of who I
them and silently remind myself of who I am at the very core of defining one’s
am at the very core of defining one’s
am at the very core of defining one’s identity there is a sense of
identity there is a sense of
identity there is a sense of vulnerability it’s impossible to
vulnerability it’s impossible to
vulnerability it’s impossible to understand human nature
understand human nature
understand human nature without coming from a place of
without coming from a place of
without coming from a place of relatedness and that is ultimately what
relatedness and that is ultimately what
relatedness and that is ultimately what vulnerability gives to us in the world
vulnerability gives to us in the world
vulnerability gives to us in the world of the poet in the realm of arts one of
of the poet in the realm of arts one of
of the poet in the realm of arts one of the things that we the most important
the things that we the most important
the things that we the most important thing I in my opinion in regard to the
thing I in my opinion in regard to the
thing I in my opinion in regard to the lessons that we learn from arts and the
lessons that we learn from arts and the
lessons that we learn from arts and the humanities is done it develops in us the
humanities is done it develops in us the
humanities is done it develops in us the ability to be able to relate to somebody
ability to be able to relate to somebody
ability to be able to relate to somebody else not based on differences but based
else not based on differences but based
else not based on differences but based on our similarities ultimately we have a
on our similarities ultimately we have a
on our similarities ultimately we have a lot more in common than the differences
lot more in common than the differences
lot more in common than the differences that set us apart haiku for the
that set us apart haiku for the
that set us apart haiku for the destitute can we all do this I have more
destitute can we all do this I have more
destitute can we all do this I have more than pennies in my pocket I have the
than pennies in my pocket I have the
than pennies in my pocket I have the uncertainty of life that always gives me
uncertainty of life that always gives me
uncertainty of life that always gives me grounded exile time is my tasteless
grounded exile time is my tasteless
grounded exile time is my tasteless abstract friend refusing to be measured
abstract friend refusing to be measured
abstract friend refusing to be measured by the ticking of the clock time is all
by the ticking of the clock time is all
by the ticking of the clock time is all I have when I shut down my windows to
I have when I shut down my windows to
I have when I shut down my windows to the world I am absent from familiar
the world I am absent from familiar
the world I am absent from familiar voices my body will return someday to
voices my body will return someday to
voices my body will return someday to interstellar dust transient and secular
interstellar dust transient and secular
interstellar dust transient and secular I will always carry the seed of a new
I will always carry the seed of a new
I will always carry the seed of a new life into heaven oh my lighthouse
life into heaven oh my lighthouse
life into heaven oh my lighthouse precision envelops my crystal sword
precision envelops my crystal sword
precision envelops my crystal sword again the prophets mystery finally
again the prophets mystery finally
again the prophets mystery finally revealed a man’s is also a cave made out
revealed a man’s is also a cave made out
revealed a man’s is also a cave made out of shadows and wing castaways one of the
of shadows and wing castaways one of the
of shadows and wing castaways one of the main problems that I think I always
main problems that I think I always
main problems that I think I always encounter when trying to define odd to
encounter when trying to define odd to
encounter when trying to define odd to others who I was people were always
others who I was people were always
others who I was people were always interested and sometimes it was the
interested and sometimes it was the
interested and sometimes it was the accent and I remember when I was a
accent and I remember when I was a
accent and I remember when I was a student at the
student at the
student at the Columbia University American language
Columbia University American language
Columbia University American language program one of the professors say you
program one of the professors say you
program one of the professors say you can lose everything else except for the
can lose everything else except for the
can lose everything else except for the accident because the accent is sexy and
accident because the accent is sexy and
accident because the accent is sexy and that’s going to open a lot of doors for
that’s going to open a lot of doors for
that’s going to open a lot of doors for you right so I refuse to take accent
you right so I refuse to take accent
you right so I refuse to take accent reduction classes but I am also a man of
reduction classes but I am also a man of
reduction classes but I am also a man of faith so it was always difficult to UM
faith so it was always difficult to UM
faith so it was always difficult to UM to make myself understood when coming as
to make myself understood when coming as
to make myself understood when coming as well from that perspective and then on
well from that perspective and then on
well from that perspective and then on top of that I came out of the closet so
top of that I came out of the closet so
top of that I came out of the closet so that made it even more complicated and
that made it even more complicated and
that made it even more complicated and then I also come from a family that is a
then I also come from a family that is a
then I also come from a family that is a family that dwells in extremes on the
family that dwells in extremes on the
family that dwells in extremes on the one hand there is the good Cuban
one hand there is the good Cuban
one hand there is the good Cuban American Republican family in Florida
American Republican family in Florida
American Republican family in Florida and then on the other hand there was the
and then on the other hand there was the
and then on the other hand there was the good well intentioned communist father
good well intentioned communist father
good well intentioned communist father who and that was in Cuba who ended up
who and that was in Cuba who ended up
who and that was in Cuba who ended up becoming a refugee in his own right
becoming a refugee in his own right
becoming a refugee in his own right because of his political ideas so again
because of his political ideas so again
because of his political ideas so again when we try to define ourselves by
when we try to define ourselves by
when we try to define ourselves by virtue or by virtue of ideology or
virtue or by virtue of ideology or
virtue or by virtue of ideology or politics we do a disservice to to our
politics we do a disservice to to our
politics we do a disservice to to our most inner nature a citizens of the of
most inner nature a citizens of the of
most inner nature a citizens of the of the world that we all are and it is very
the world that we all are and it is very
the world that we all are and it is very important also to understand that even a
important also to understand that even a
important also to understand that even a citizens of the world for me at least I
citizens of the world for me at least I
citizens of the world for me at least I live in a very specific place in a in a
live in a very specific place in a in a
live in a very specific place in a in a country that is undergoing a
country that is undergoing a
country that is undergoing a transformation a very young country and
transformation a very young country and
transformation a very young country and I have a lot of hope in in our future
I have a lot of hope in in our future
I have a lot of hope in in our future and that hold continues to fuel my my
and that hold continues to fuel my my
and that hold continues to fuel my my sense of identity I’m also my my duty in
sense of identity I’m also my my duty in
sense of identity I’m also my my duty in life and that is part of the mission of
life and that is part of the mission of
life and that is part of the mission of underneath the accent on my skin as a
underneath the accent on my skin as a
underneath the accent on my skin as a creative umbrella and we have a question
creative umbrella and we have a question
creative umbrella and we have a question and answer it is fings question one
and answer it is fings question one
and answer it is fings question one where to anchor my eyes answer build no
where to anchor my eyes answer build no
where to anchor my eyes answer build no nest question 2 how to appease the water
nest question 2 how to appease the water
nest question 2 how to appease the water that heats my forbidden island answer to
that heats my forbidden island answer to
that heats my forbidden island answer to stretch your safety net question 3 what
stretch your safety net question 3 what
stretch your safety net question 3 what borders with halt the fury of the wind
borders with halt the fury of the wind
borders with halt the fury of the wind answer 3 become the bird that never
answer 3 become the bird that never
answer 3 become the bird that never leaves the air the last thing that I
leaves the air the last thing that I
leaves the air the last thing that I like to share with you today is that
poet who saved my my life and I don’t
poet who saved my my life and I don’t think that I would have been the same
think that I would have been the same
think that I would have been the same person if I hadn’t found poetry in my
person if I hadn’t found poetry in my
person if I hadn’t found poetry in my life and I’m not just talking about up
life and I’m not just talking about up
life and I’m not just talking about up poetry as a camera in the creative
poetry as a camera in the creative
poetry as a camera in the creative writing field also talking about visual
writing field also talking about visual
writing field also talking about visual poetry as well right when when we engage
poetry as well right when when we engage
poetry as well right when when we engage in a creative visual activity
in a creative visual activity
in a creative visual activity photography or painting because they
photography or painting because they
photography or painting because they stretch our ability also to relate to
stretch our ability also to relate to
stretch our ability also to relate to have compassion and to continue to grow
have compassion and to continue to grow
have compassion and to continue to grow a spiritual beings that we also are
a spiritual beings that we also are
a spiritual beings that we also are because we are all interconnected and
because we are all interconnected and
because we are all interconnected and that sense of belonging dozens of
that sense of belonging dozens of
that sense of belonging dozens of relatedness only makes sense to me at
relatedness only makes sense to me at
relatedness only makes sense to me at least in to the full extent of the word
least in to the full extent of the word
least in to the full extent of the word when I am in the presence of poetry
when I am in the presence of poetry
when I am in the presence of poetry I used to bounce off the strings of
I used to bounce off the strings of
I used to bounce off the strings of insurmountable universes delirious me I
insurmountable universes delirious me I
insurmountable universes delirious me I used to leap into the trajectory of
used to leap into the trajectory of
used to leap into the trajectory of comets forever shooting gold and silver
comets forever shooting gold and silver
comets forever shooting gold and silver in the sky I used to rise above the
in the sky I used to rise above the
in the sky I used to rise above the supernova blasting the seeds of life
supernova blasting the seeds of life
supernova blasting the seeds of life into eternity until I found you the sum
into eternity until I found you the sum
into eternity until I found you the sum of all metals and all colors the sound
of all metals and all colors the sound
of all metals and all colors the sound and the silence of my sheltering bones
and the silence of my sheltering bones
and the silence of my sheltering bones thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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