[Applause] the eviction notice was stuck to the
the eviction notice was stuck to the
the eviction notice was stuck to the windows of the house where my family and
windows of the house where my family and
windows of the house where my family and I lived everything seemed to be tumbling
I lived everything seemed to be tumbling
I lived everything seemed to be tumbling down ostracized by everyone I knew an
down ostracized by everyone I knew an
down ostracized by everyone I knew an uncertain of the next step the sheriff
uncertain of the next step the sheriff
uncertain of the next step the sheriff came to escort us out of the house I
came to escort us out of the house I
came to escort us out of the house I thanked him profusely why because today
thanked him profusely why because today
thanked him profusely why because today was my escape I persisted in the belief
was my escape I persisted in the belief
was my escape I persisted in the belief that the kids and I would be free and
that the kids and I would be free and
that the kids and I would be free and today we were free of barbed wire fences
today we were free of barbed wire fences
today we were free of barbed wire fences locked gates and people watching our
locked gates and people watching our
locked gates and people watching our every move how why what happened there
every move how why what happened there
every move how why what happened there great questions your wondering now and
great questions your wondering now and
great questions your wondering now and these questions save my life and correct
these questions save my life and correct
these questions save my life and correct an opening in one of Australia’s largest
an opening in one of Australia’s largest
an opening in one of Australia’s largest doomsday cults I’ll share with you today
doomsday cults I’ll share with you today
doomsday cults I’ll share with you today how questioning everything can help save
how questioning everything can help save
how questioning everything can help save your life and possibly even your soul I
your life and possibly even your soul I
your life and possibly even your soul I was brought up in a strict religious
was brought up in a strict religious
was brought up in a strict religious sect that later was deemed a cult I was
sect that later was deemed a cult I was
sect that later was deemed a cult I was cut off from the world formal education
cut off from the world formal education
cut off from the world formal education and news I wanted freedom so after I was
and news I wanted freedom so after I was
and news I wanted freedom so after I was 18 I married the school that taped the
18 I married the school that taped the
18 I married the school that taped the tutor that was teaching my siblings and
tutor that was teaching my siblings and
tutor that was teaching my siblings and I he was 31 a few years later he sold
I he was 31 a few years later he sold
I he was 31 a few years later he sold the house from underneath us and moved
the house from underneath us and moved
the house from underneath us and moved us to a religious community where we
us to a religious community where we
us to a religious community where we were praying eating and sharing
were praying eating and sharing
were praying eating and sharing everything with a hundred and eighty
everything with a hundred and eighty
everything with a hundred and eighty other people and where I went on to
other people and where I went on to
other people and where I went on to birth nine children behind barbed wire
birth nine children behind barbed wire
birth nine children behind barbed wire fences and locked gates in what turned
fences and locked gates in what turned
fences and locked gates in what turned out to be my second cold so I went from
out to be my second cold so I went from
out to be my second cold so I went from one street into another but that was to
one street into another but that was to
one street into another but that was to be expected it was the way I had grown
be expected it was the way I had grown
be expected it was the way I had grown up and it was the only thing that I knew
up and it was the only thing that I knew
up and it was the only thing that I knew so that’s what I did so I fell into
so that’s what I did so I fell into
so that’s what I did so I fell into familiar patterns which is not unusual
familiar patterns which is not unusual
familiar patterns which is not unusual when I speak about cults around the
when I speak about cults around the
when I speak about cults around the world there are many people that tell me
world there are many people that tell me
world there are many people that tell me about their friends family and loved
about their friends family and loved
about their friends family and loved ones that are in cults are you aware
ones that are in cults are you aware
ones that are in cults are you aware that 70 percent
that 70 percent
that 70 percent of cult members are women and here in
of cult members are women and here in
of cult members are women and here in the UK there are some 500 cults which
the UK there are some 500 cults which
the UK there are some 500 cults which equal about 100,000 people who are
equal about 100,000 people who are
equal about 100,000 people who are members of cults and whilst that may not
members of cults and whilst that may not
members of cults and whilst that may not seem to be a significant number among 62
seem to be a significant number among 62
seem to be a significant number among 62 million population that’s the size of
million population that’s the size of
million population that’s the size of Wakefield in Yorkshire in the u.s. there
Wakefield in Yorkshire in the u.s. there
Wakefield in Yorkshire in the u.s. there are like five thousand cults and in my
are like five thousand cults and in my
are like five thousand cults and in my country of Australia there’s like three
country of Australia there’s like three
country of Australia there’s like three thousand so for me following all the
thousand so for me following all the
thousand so for me following all the rules of praying fasting working were
rules of praying fasting working were
rules of praying fasting working were nothing short of a headache but we
nothing short of a headache but we
nothing short of a headache but we weren’t allowed any kind of pain relief
weren’t allowed any kind of pain relief
weren’t allowed any kind of pain relief any relief at all we had to sacrifice
any relief at all we had to sacrifice
any relief at all we had to sacrifice everything for a higher place in heaven
everything for a higher place in heaven
everything for a higher place in heaven but the thing is this kind of lifestyle
but the thing is this kind of lifestyle
but the thing is this kind of lifestyle makes you numb and I realized that I was
makes you numb and I realized that I was
makes you numb and I realized that I was only existing not living and there was
only existing not living and there was
only existing not living and there was this little voice inside of me saying
this little voice inside of me saying
this little voice inside of me saying Clare this is wrong and I was asking the
Clare this is wrong and I was asking the
Clare this is wrong and I was asking the questions his life meant to be lived in
questions his life meant to be lived in
questions his life meant to be lived in endless sadness endless sacrifice giving
endless sadness endless sacrifice giving
endless sadness endless sacrifice giving everything and getting nothing back I
everything and getting nothing back I
everything and getting nothing back I couldn’t do it anymore my spirit was
couldn’t do it anymore my spirit was
couldn’t do it anymore my spirit was exhausted and that’s when I asked the
exhausted and that’s when I asked the
exhausted and that’s when I asked the questions why is this a situation what
questions why is this a situation what
questions why is this a situation what am I going to do how am I going to
am I going to do how am I going to
am I going to do how am I going to change it so I was living in this loving
change it so I was living in this loving
change it so I was living in this loving community but not feeling the love at
community but not feeling the love at
community but not feeling the love at all in fact it was stressful with all
all in fact it was stressful with all
all in fact it was stressful with all the sacrificing the working the handing
the sacrificing the working the handing
the sacrificing the working the handing my will over to the superior doing what
my will over to the superior doing what
my will over to the superior doing what they wanted it was not how I envisioned
they wanted it was not how I envisioned
they wanted it was not how I envisioned my life at all and we will constantly
my life at all and we will constantly
my life at all and we will constantly told the world is ending so don’t get
told the world is ending so don’t get
told the world is ending so don’t get used to luxuries once we’re the only
used to luxuries once we’re the only
used to luxuries once we’re the only survivors thanks to the plastic black
survivors thanks to the plastic black
survivors thanks to the plastic black plastic on our windows and barbed wire
plastic on our windows and barbed wire
plastic on our windows and barbed wire fences there will be no TVs or movies
fences there will be no TVs or movies
fences there will be no TVs or movies and yet the leaders we’re doing exactly
and yet the leaders we’re doing exactly
and yet the leaders we’re doing exactly as they wanted using the t TV movies
as they wanted using the t TV movies
as they wanted using the t TV movies Internet because apparently they could
Internet because apparently they could
Internet because apparently they could use it without having the evil come in
use it without having the evil come in
use it without having the evil come in the longer that we lived there the more
the longer that we lived there the more
the longer that we lived there the more angry frustrated and unhappy I became
angry frustrated and unhappy I became
angry frustrated and unhappy I became with all the restrictions they came a
with all the restrictions they came a
with all the restrictions they came a day where I threw all caution to the
day where I threw all caution to the
day where I threw all caution to the wind I didn’t give a hoot about the
wind I didn’t give a hoot about the
wind I didn’t give a hoot about the consequences I started pushing the
consequences I started pushing the
consequences I started pushing the envelope just that little bit too high
envelope just that little bit too high
envelope just that little bit too high I became quietly resistant to the
I became quietly resistant to the
I became quietly resistant to the directives I questioned the cult leaders
directives I questioned the cult leaders
directives I questioned the cult leaders I sent them letters my husband didn’t
I sent them letters my husband didn’t
I sent them letters my husband didn’t like or agree with any of my actions
like or agree with any of my actions
like or agree with any of my actions remember me saying that the web the
remember me saying that the web the
remember me saying that the web the internet was a web to entangle the world
internet was a web to entangle the world
internet was a web to entangle the world well my husband had a secret addiction
well my husband had a secret addiction
well my husband had a secret addiction gambling and as with all gamblers they
gambling and as with all gamblers they
gambling and as with all gamblers they find a way to sneak it in like the
find a way to sneak it in like the
find a way to sneak it in like the computer in the internet that he
computer in the internet that he
computer in the internet that he secretly set up he didn’t want me to say
secretly set up he didn’t want me to say
secretly set up he didn’t want me to say anything to the leaders because he
anything to the leaders because he
anything to the leaders because he didn’t want us to be thrown out of the
didn’t want us to be thrown out of the
didn’t want us to be thrown out of the community he was ready to throw me under
community he was ready to throw me under
community he was ready to throw me under the bus it was time for me to act so one
the bus it was time for me to act so one
the bus it was time for me to act so one day when he was out I went to the
day when he was out I went to the
day when he was out I went to the cupboard where I knew he kept the cash
cupboard where I knew he kept the cash
cupboard where I knew he kept the cash that he drew out of the bank and firstly
that he drew out of the bank and firstly
that he drew out of the bank and firstly I could only find a few notes of notes
I could only find a few notes of notes
I could only find a few notes of notes of money and then I kept searching and
of money and then I kept searching and
of money and then I kept searching and my patience was rewarded when I finally
my patience was rewarded when I finally
my patience was rewarded when I finally pulled out of a pocket a massive Ward of
pulled out of a pocket a massive Ward of
pulled out of a pocket a massive Ward of cash and I sat down on my bedroom floor
cash and I sat down on my bedroom floor
cash and I sat down on my bedroom floor and I had all this cash around on the
and I had all this cash around on the
and I had all this cash around on the floor and I counted it I’d never seen so
floor and I counted it I’d never seen so
floor and I counted it I’d never seen so much money in all my life
much money in all my life
much money in all my life it was 20,000 Australian dollars or I
it was 20,000 Australian dollars or I
it was 20,000 Australian dollars or I touched over 12,000 British pounds and
touched over 12,000 British pounds and
touched over 12,000 British pounds and I’m sitting now and I’m asking myself
I’m sitting now and I’m asking myself
I’m sitting now and I’m asking myself why am i barely scraping by I’ve got a
why am i barely scraping by I’ve got a
why am i barely scraping by I’ve got a family of ten to feed and I’m grinding
family of ten to feed and I’m grinding
family of ten to feed and I’m grinding unmilled sacks of wheat in order to be
unmilled sacks of wheat in order to be
unmilled sacks of wheat in order to be able to make my daily meal allowance of
able to make my daily meal allowance of
able to make my daily meal allowance of 84 cents u.s. 67p I’m asking myself why
84 cents u.s. 67p I’m asking myself why
84 cents u.s. 67p I’m asking myself why am i living a life of obedience in
am i living a life of obedience in
am i living a life of obedience in misery so I’ve reached out and I’ve made
misery so I’ve reached out and I’ve made
misery so I’ve reached out and I’ve made the leaders angry
the leaders angry
the leaders angry I’ve been ostracized whispered about I’m
I’ve been ostracized whispered about I’m
I’ve been ostracized whispered about I’m not allowed to associate with anybody
not allowed to associate with anybody
not allowed to associate with anybody but members later told me that it was my
but members later told me that it was my
but members later told me that it was my letters of inquiry
letters of inquiry
letters of inquiry my first defiance that made them wonder
my first defiance that made them wonder
my first defiance that made them wonder that made them question and then made
that made them question and then made
that made them question and then made them leave to testify against the
them leave to testify against the
them leave to testify against the exploitation and pedophilic activity in
exploitation and pedophilic activity in
exploitation and pedophilic activity in the community but I was still stuck
the community but I was still stuck
the community but I was still stuck there with eight kids in a vowel so I’m
there with eight kids in a vowel so I’m
there with eight kids in a vowel so I’m sitting there holding this money in my
sitting there holding this money in my
sitting there holding this money in my hand and I’m wondering what I’m gonna do
hand and I’m wondering what I’m gonna do
hand and I’m wondering what I’m gonna do next I don’t
next I don’t
next I don’t have a bank account to hide it in and
have a bank account to hide it in and
have a bank account to hide it in and even if I did I felt like my husband
even if I did I felt like my husband
even if I did I felt like my husband would threaten me to get to him so I did
would threaten me to get to him so I did
would threaten me to get to him so I did the next best thing I found a biscuit
the next best thing I found a biscuit
the next best thing I found a biscuit tin and I stuffed all that money inside
tin and I stuffed all that money inside
tin and I stuffed all that money inside taped it tightly closed March down to
taped it tightly closed March down to
taped it tightly closed March down to the shed
the shed
the shed got myself a shovel and walked into the
got myself a shovel and walked into the
got myself a shovel and walked into the bushland next door and dug a deep hole
bushland next door and dug a deep hole
bushland next door and dug a deep hole underneath a log and buried the tin deep
underneath a log and buried the tin deep
underneath a log and buried the tin deep inside and that day there was a change I
inside and that day there was a change I
inside and that day there was a change I stepped into my power I figured that a
stepped into my power I figured that a
stepped into my power I figured that a step in any direction is better than
step in any direction is better than
step in any direction is better than none because once I took that money
none because once I took that money
none because once I took that money there was no turning back the old Claire
there was no turning back the old Claire
there was no turning back the old Claire was gone forever and even though I had
was gone forever and even though I had
was gone forever and even though I had no idea of what to do how to do it who
no idea of what to do how to do it who
no idea of what to do how to do it who to turn to I was bound and determined
to turn to I was bound and determined
to turn to I was bound and determined that the kids and I would leave that
that the kids and I would leave that
that the kids and I would leave that coal so when my husband was out I acted
coal so when my husband was out I acted
coal so when my husband was out I acted in secret I searched for rentals in the
in secret I searched for rentals in the
in secret I searched for rentals in the paper I opened up my own bank account I
paper I opened up my own bank account I
paper I opened up my own bank account I searched through all that went through
searched through all that went through
searched through all that went through all our possessions and threw out the
all our possessions and threw out the
all our possessions and threw out the junk that was wait for the apocalypse
junk that was wait for the apocalypse
junk that was wait for the apocalypse and the kids and I instead of being
and the kids and I instead of being
and the kids and I instead of being ready for the end of the world
ready for the end of the world
ready for the end of the world we were prepared for the end of the
we were prepared for the end of the
we were prepared for the end of the world as we knew it so 10 years on our
world as we knew it so 10 years on our
world as we knew it so 10 years on our lives are completely flipped
lives are completely flipped
lives are completely flipped I left that husband the kids and I moved
I left that husband the kids and I moved
I left that husband the kids and I moved to interstate to a new city to start a
to interstate to a new city to start a
to interstate to a new city to start a fresh new life I met and married my
fresh new life I met and married my
fresh new life I met and married my Englishman I imported him and now life
Englishman I imported him and now life
Englishman I imported him and now life looks a whole lot brighter and so for
looks a whole lot brighter and so for
looks a whole lot brighter and so for you the audience you can use those same
you the audience you can use those same
you the audience you can use those same three questions to ask yourself what you
three questions to ask yourself what you
three questions to ask yourself what you want in your life like why is your life
want in your life like why is your life
want in your life like why is your life like this how do you want to live it
like this how do you want to live it
like this how do you want to live it what changes do you want to make listen
what changes do you want to make listen
what changes do you want to make listen to that inner voice and be brave and
to that inner voice and be brave and
to that inner voice and be brave and step past all of your fear your
step past all of your fear your
step past all of your fear your boundaries and your restrictions to live
boundaries and your restrictions to live
boundaries and your restrictions to live a life that inspires generations thank
a life that inspires generations thank
a life that inspires generations thank you
”
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