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An Overdose of Apathy. | Jack Ashton | TEDxNorwichED


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[Music] [Applause]

so when I was a wee lad I wanted to look

so when I was a wee lad I wanted to look like this and for those who don’t know

like this and for those who don’t know

like this and for those who don’t know that is mm boyband busted and they are

that is mm boyband busted and they are

that is mm boyband busted and they are the coolest things you could possibly

the coolest things you could possibly

the coolest things you could possibly ever be they were every girl’s teenage

ever be they were every girl’s teenage

ever be they were every girl’s teenage heartthrob and every boys envy they sang

heartthrob and every boys envy they sang

heartthrob and every boys envy they sang songs about crushing weddings and

songs about crushing weddings and

songs about crushing weddings and getting without her as their sees and

getting without her as their sees and

getting without her as their sees and they were amazing so I try my best and I

they were amazing so I try my best and I

they were amazing so I try my best and I did try my best and I ended up looking

did try my best and I ended up looking

did try my best and I ended up looking like this so the question is why did I

like this so the question is why did I

like this so the question is why did I care enough the ones who look like that

care enough the ones who look like that

care enough the ones who look like that why did I actually get bothered about

why did I actually get bothered about

why did I actually get bothered about wanting to look like busted and it’s

wanting to look like busted and it’s

wanting to look like busted and it’s because it is a society that I grew up

because it is a society that I grew up

because it is a society that I grew up in and it’s a society that repressed his

in and it’s a society that repressed his

in and it’s a society that repressed his creativity and a society that encourages

creativity and a society that encourages

creativity and a society that encourages apathy that tells is it’s not cool to

apathy that tells is it’s not cool to

apathy that tells is it’s not cool to know things and that it’s not cool to go

know things and that it’s not cool to go

know things and that it’s not cool to go to school and try hard it’s not cool to

to school and try hard it’s not cool to

to school and try hard it’s not cool to tell your family you love them open it’s

tell your family you love them open it’s

tell your family you love them open it’s not cool to be openly in love with

not cool to be openly in love with

not cool to be openly in love with yourself and it’s not cool to express

yourself and it’s not cool to express

yourself and it’s not cool to express anything that is an absolute mediocrity

anything that is an absolute mediocrity

anything that is an absolute mediocrity and you might be able to see this in a

and you might be able to see this in a

and you might be able to see this in a lot of your life it might be that you

lot of your life it might be that you

lot of your life it might be that you get a call early in the morning from one

get a call early in the morning from one

get a call early in the morning from one of your kids and they say hey can you

of your kids and they say hey can you

of your kids and they say hey can you pick me up from a party but can you park

pick me up from a party but can you park

pick me up from a party but can you park around the corner just so no one knows

around the corner just so no one knows

around the corner just so no one knows that I have parents that you know or you

that I have parents that you know or you

that I have parents that you know or you might drop your kids off at school and

might drop your kids off at school and

might drop your kids off at school and you might okay you might say Oh see you

you might okay you might say Oh see you

you might okay you might say Oh see you later I love you and they might go as if

later I love you and they might go as if

later I love you and they might go as if it’s some sort of state secret that

it’s some sort of state secret that

it’s some sort of state secret that parents like really love their children

parents like really love their children

parents like really love their children and I know it’s in relationships

and I know it’s in relationships

and I know it’s in relationships particularly in my generation where

particularly in my generation where

particularly in my generation where they’ve become a competition about who

they’ve become a competition about who

they’ve become a competition about who can love each other less it’s now become

can love each other less it’s now become

can love each other less it’s now become about who can play it cool whatever that

about who can play it cool whatever that

about who can play it cool whatever that actually means is beyond me but it’s

actually means is beyond me but it’s

actually means is beyond me but it’s about who can treat the mean to keep

about who can treat the mean to keep

about who can treat the mean to keep them keen which is the worst idea ever

them keen which is the worst idea ever

them keen which is the worst idea ever what happened to

what happened to

what happened to openly loving someone it’s like it’s

openly loving someone it’s like it’s

openly loving someone it’s like it’s been reserved for one day of the year

been reserved for one day of the year

been reserved for one day of the year but this is something that I was very

but this is something that I was very

but this is something that I was very much involved in so one time me and my

much involved in so one time me and my

much involved in so one time me and my friends were at the bar and we’re all

friends were at the bar and we’re all

friends were at the bar and we’re all having drinks it was a good time you

having drinks it was a good time you

having drinks it was a good time you know night out with the lads and my

know night out with the lads and my

know night out with the lads and my friend got a call from his girlfriend

friend got a call from his girlfriend

friend got a call from his girlfriend but she answered it she was crying she

but she answered it she was crying she

but she answered it she was crying she was upset you need to come and get him

was upset you need to come and get him

was upset you need to come and get him she needed him to come get her

she needed him to come get her

she needed him to come get her so he put the phone down next his pint

so he put the phone down next his pint

so he put the phone down next his pint obviously and he went and we all started

obviously and he went and we all started

obviously and he went and we all started giving him stick for it we were like oh

giving him stick for it we were like oh

giving him stick for it we were like oh man you’re so under the thumb you’re so

man you’re so under the thumb you’re so

man you’re so under the thumb you’re so whipped what are you doing this was a

whipped what are you doing this was a

whipped what are you doing this was a night out with the lads and you’re

night out with the lads and you’re

night out with the lads and you’re leaving us to go and help your

leaving us to go and help your

leaving us to go and help your girlfriend who you love Lots and she

girlfriend who you love Lots and she

girlfriend who you love Lots and she needs you and it was really weird but

needs you and it was really weird but

needs you and it was really weird but this is a culture that I was very much

this is a culture that I was very much

this is a culture that I was very much involved in and it is a culture that is

involved in and it is a culture that is

involved in and it is a culture that is primarily enforced by young men of my

primarily enforced by young men of my

primarily enforced by young men of my age and it’s this idea that if you have

age and it’s this idea that if you have

age and it’s this idea that if you have emotions that are mediocrity you’re not

emotions that are mediocrity you’re not

emotions that are mediocrity you’re not prepared to deal with them so when

prepared to deal with them so when

prepared to deal with them so when something comes to you you greet you

something comes to you you greet you

something comes to you you greet you with the stiff upper lip and you beat

with the stiff upper lip and you beat

with the stiff upper lip and you beat your chest when it comes at you and it

your chest when it comes at you and it

your chest when it comes at you and it can’t hurt you but this is stupid it

can’t hurt you but this is stupid it

can’t hurt you but this is stupid it doesn’t work it’s a terrible idea

doesn’t work it’s a terrible idea

doesn’t work it’s a terrible idea because I was one of the people that it

because I was one of the people that it

because I was one of the people that it failed so when I was 17 I am my head

failed so when I was 17 I am my head

failed so when I was 17 I am my head stopped working it I was a happy kid I

stopped working it I was a happy kid I

stopped working it I was a happy kid I had friends of someone he loved me I was

had friends of someone he loved me I was

had friends of someone he loved me I was doing very well in school

doing very well in school

doing very well in school Gomis but my head just stopped working

Gomis but my head just stopped working

Gomis but my head just stopped working and it’s terrified like it’s terrifying

and it’s terrified like it’s terrifying

and it’s terrified like it’s terrifying to wake up and notice that you are not

to wake up and notice that you are not

to wake up and notice that you are not your former self you are something of a

your former self you are something of a

your former self you are something of a lesser fraction and it terrified the

lesser fraction and it terrified the

lesser fraction and it terrified the crap out of me and it meant that I

crap out of me and it meant that I

crap out of me and it meant that I stopped eating I stopped sleeping I lost

stopped eating I stopped sleeping I lost

stopped eating I stopped sleeping I lost weight I became distant my friends and

weight I became distant my friends and

weight I became distant my friends and family I lost relationships that I have

family I lost relationships that I have

family I lost relationships that I have not got back to this day which is not a

not got back to this day which is not a

not got back to this day which is not a good thing so eventually I went to the

good thing so eventually I went to the

good thing so eventually I went to the doctors and the lovely lady there put me

doctors and the lovely lady there put me

doctors and the lovely lady there put me on a delightful concoction of various

on a delightful concoction of various

on a delightful concoction of various drugs which was fun and then I started

drugs which was fun and then I started

drugs which was fun and then I started getting therapy and it was in this

getting therapy and it was in this

getting therapy and it was in this therapy in which I was told to be more

therapy in which I was told to be more

therapy in which I was told to be more open about my emotions which is the most

open about my emotions which is the most

open about my emotions which is the most cliched so everything in the world but

cliched so everything in the world but

cliched so everything in the world but believe it or not actually works and it

believe it or not actually works and it

believe it or not actually works and it was where I was told to start enjoying

was where I was told to start enjoying

was where I was told to start enjoying things because I enjoy the things not

things because I enjoy the things not

things because I enjoy the things not because I’m brought up in this culture

because I’m brought up in this culture

because I’m brought up in this culture where I’m a man and I

where I’m a man and I

where I’m a man and I football I know our joy football because

football I know our joy football because

football I know our joy football because I like football and I now enjoy Abba and

I like football and I now enjoy Abba and

I like football and I now enjoy Abba and girly drinks because great bands and

girly drinks because great bands and

girly drinks because great bands and some really good drinks and this is the

some really good drinks and this is the

some really good drinks and this is the point where we’ve been stemmed into this

point where we’ve been stemmed into this

point where we’ve been stemmed into this one mold in which our apathy rules are

one mold in which our apathy rules are

one mold in which our apathy rules are and we don’t enjoy things for wanting to

and we don’t enjoy things for wanting to

and we don’t enjoy things for wanting to enjoy them which leaves us hollow it

enjoy them which leaves us hollow it

enjoy them which leaves us hollow it leaves us not enjoying the things we

leaves us not enjoying the things we

leaves us not enjoying the things we want to and then if we allow ourselves

want to and then if we allow ourselves

want to and then if we allow ourselves to enjoy things because we do enjoy them

to enjoy things because we do enjoy them

to enjoy things because we do enjoy them it means we can make emotional

it means we can make emotional

it means we can make emotional connections with our friends and with

connections with our friends and with

connections with our friends and with our family that are gonna be inseparable

our family that are gonna be inseparable

our family that are gonna be inseparable they’re gonna be stronger than before

they’re gonna be stronger than before

they’re gonna be stronger than before and it means that when bad things do

and it means that when bad things do

and it means that when bad things do happen and bad things that will happen

happen and bad things that will happen

happen and bad things that will happen in life you can be ready to help them

in life you can be ready to help them

in life you can be ready to help them you won’t need to ask your friends for

you won’t need to ask your friends for

you won’t need to ask your friends for help because they already know you need

help because they already know you need

help because they already know you need help they know you that well and you

help they know you that well and you

help they know you that well and you know them that well that they’re coming

know them that well that they’re coming

know them that well that they’re coming for you and they’ve got your back

for you and they’ve got your back

for you and they’ve got your back because things are gonna happen your

because things are gonna happen your

because things are gonna happen your house might get flooded you might lose a

house might get flooded you might lose a

house might get flooded you might lose a loved one you might lose your job you

loved one you might lose your job you

loved one you might lose your job you might get lost you might end up in

might get lost you might end up in

might get lost you might end up in hospital terrible things happen and we

hospital terrible things happen and we

hospital terrible things happen and we have this attitude that we can stop we

have this attitude that we can stop we

have this attitude that we can stop we can stand there and put our chest out

can stand there and put our chest out

can stand there and put our chest out and say no no that’s not gonna happen to

and say no no that’s not gonna happen to

and say no no that’s not gonna happen to me that’s not gonna happen to me at all

me that’s not gonna happen to me at all

me that’s not gonna happen to me at all I’m better than that I’m stronger than

I’m better than that I’m stronger than

I’m better than that I’m stronger than that I’m bigger than that but not one of

that I’m bigger than that but not one of

that I’m bigger than that but not one of you will be able to say that something

you will be able to say that something

you will be able to say that something bad doesn’t happen to you they’re gonna

bad doesn’t happen to you they’re gonna

bad doesn’t happen to you they’re gonna it’s gonna come and if you haven’t it’s

it’s gonna come and if you haven’t it’s

it’s gonna come and if you haven’t it’s gonna come eventually so it’s best

gonna come eventually so it’s best

gonna come eventually so it’s best instead of trying desperately to put

instead of trying desperately to put

instead of trying desperately to put your barriers up it’s best to make these

your barriers up it’s best to make these

your barriers up it’s best to make these emotional connections with your friends

emotional connections with your friends

emotional connections with your friends and get the help you need from your

and get the help you need from your

and get the help you need from your friends when it comes so when the

friends when it comes so when the

friends when it comes so when the situation does arise in which you do

situation does arise in which you do

situation does arise in which you do need help cause he welcome your friends

need help cause he welcome your friends

need help cause he welcome your friends are there for you and the consequences

are there for you and the consequences

are there for you and the consequences of failing to make these emotional

of failing to make these emotional

of failing to make these emotional connections are the most important thing

connections are the most important thing

connections are the most important thing to me because it is the consequences of

to me because it is the consequences of

to me because it is the consequences of men failing to express their emotions

men failing to express their emotions

men failing to express their emotions and failing to be in touch themselves

and failing to be in touch themselves

and failing to be in touch themselves and having too much in their head and

and having too much in their head and

and having too much in their head and not being able to say a single bit of it

not being able to say a single bit of it

not being able to say a single bit of it because suicide is the biggest killer of

because suicide is the biggest killer of

because suicide is the biggest killer of men between the ages of 20 and 49

men between the ages of 20 and 49

men between the ages of 20 and 49 in 2017 7,000 people in the United

in 2017 7,000 people in the United

in 2017 7,000 people in the United Kingdom will kill themselves they’ll

Kingdom will kill themselves they’ll

Kingdom will kill themselves they’ll take the decision to leave their friends

take the decision to leave their friends

take the decision to leave their friends their family their wife their husband

their family their wife their husband

their family their wife their husband their kids and their loved ones and now

their kids and their loved ones and now

their kids and their loved ones and now end their life 7,000 people

end their life 7,000 people

end their life 7,000 people this is wiping us out like an epidemic

this is wiping us out like an epidemic

this is wiping us out like an epidemic if it was any other threat to society it

if it was any other threat to society it

if it was any other threat to society it will be stopped if it was a disease it

will be stopped if it was a disease it

will be stopped if it was a disease it would be vaccinated if it was a war we

would be vaccinated if it was a war we

would be vaccinated if it was a war we would have already lost because we’re

would have already lost because we’re

would have already lost because we’re not addressing this this is a thing that

not addressing this this is a thing that

not addressing this this is a thing that we are sticking with a stiff upper lip

we are sticking with a stiff upper lip

we are sticking with a stiff upper lip which is beginning to quiver and we’re

which is beginning to quiver and we’re

which is beginning to quiver and we’re beating our chests which is beginning to

beating our chests which is beginning to

beating our chests which is beginning to cave in because we’re not prepared to

cave in because we’re not prepared to

cave in because we’re not prepared to deal with it and it’s getting to the

deal with it and it’s getting to the

deal with it and it’s getting to the point now where it’s ridiculous

point now where it’s ridiculous

point now where it’s ridiculous so I’m asking you guys today you came

so I’m asking you guys today you came

so I’m asking you guys today you came here with someone presumably are you mad

here with someone presumably are you mad

here with someone presumably are you mad on your own in this case you’ll get

on your own in this case you’ll get

on your own in this case you’ll get thrown out but when I’m done rambling

thrown out but when I’m done rambling

thrown out but when I’m done rambling you ask the person to your left or to

you ask the person to your left or to

you ask the person to your left or to your right how are you doing how they’re

your right how are you doing how they’re

your right how are you doing how they’re doing you tell them that you’re doing

doing you tell them that you’re doing

doing you tell them that you’re doing alright and I don’t mean like hey man

alright and I don’t mean like hey man

alright and I don’t mean like hey man yeah how’s it going them little fist

yeah how’s it going them little fist

yeah how’s it going them little fist bump things I mean like how are you are

bump things I mean like how are you are

bump things I mean like how are you are you okay how is how would you like how’s

you okay how is how would you like how’s

you okay how is how would you like how’s things going is your family okay

things going is your family okay

things going is your family okay how is your job going how is your head

how is your job going how is your head

how is your job going how is your head doing because these things are important

doing because these things are important

doing because these things are important and they get brushed over so much so

and they get brushed over so much so

and they get brushed over so much so smoothly that it becomes almost the norm

smoothly that it becomes almost the norm

smoothly that it becomes almost the norm to brush them over we just ask them how

to brush them over we just ask them how

to brush them over we just ask them how they are and when you walk out that door

they are and when you walk out that door

they are and when you walk out that door for your lunch break or whatever you

for your lunch break or whatever you

for your lunch break or whatever you tell your ma or tell your dar that you

tell your ma or tell your dar that you

tell your ma or tell your dar that you love them tell your brothers and your

love them tell your brothers and your

love them tell your brothers and your sisters and your kids tell your best

sisters and your kids tell your best

sisters and your kids tell your best friend because chances are you do okay

friend because chances are you do okay

friend because chances are you do okay because otherwise they wouldn’t be your

because otherwise they wouldn’t be your

because otherwise they wouldn’t be your best friend let them know you love them

best friend let them know you love them

best friend let them know you love them make these emotional connections with

make these emotional connections with

make these emotional connections with people get rid of this apathy because

people get rid of this apathy because

people get rid of this apathy because when something bad comes you’ll be able

when something bad comes you’ll be able

when something bad comes you’ll be able to deal with it and in a time where we

to deal with it and in a time where we

to deal with it and in a time where we are increasingly consumed by an

are increasingly consumed by an

are increasingly consumed by an overarching theme of hate this little

overarching theme of hate this little

overarching theme of hate this little bit of love is not going to hurt anyone

bit of love is not going to hurt anyone

bit of love is not going to hurt anyone Thanks

Thanks

Thanks [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] you

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