good evening it’s a subject maybe a
little bit more serious than what you
have heard previously different
who may be uncomfortable
some but I do not think so
so is tonight me I’m going to bring
something that concerns the look
that we face the disease his and
that of others and I’m going to start
right away by saying that there is a word
important that we are going to talk about tonight
it’s resilience it’s not all about
does the rebirth the resilience to
could apply to metals of
metals that resume their shape after
a modification for example you pull
on a spring and the spring gets back into
square
that’s it a form of resilience is
basically the resilience for us to be
human is the ability to come back
in a previous state after a
trauma whether they are physical or
psychological
so a psychiatrist is known not you
maybe no longer is a book
called boris cyrulnik handed this
word to page
we talk about it now in all
all the discussions concerning the
trauma and serious diseases the
attacks and resilience that’s it and
so resilience is another form
of rebirth if we manage to overcome
a trauma once again they
be physical but also
psychological and that’s something
which makes a lot of thinking around
self when one has the experience of
someone who goes beyond something
difficult
we say I could have
then do me in my job
actually I do not mind things
the simplest
80000 digestive cancers per year in France
fifteen thousand pancreatic cancer of which I
am the custodian for many
of them since it’s my big
thematic that’s what I’m on
known 5-year survival of these cancers
is weak you know it’s progressing
gently but it’s still
obviously diseases from which we come out
or sometimes not live neither in good condition
general so if you want it’s
something for which one arises
this question is yet we bring
things to patients and brings us
a lot in their residence had
so obviously the resilience depends
of the nature of the trauma
it’s small traumatizes simple one
play football we sprain
ankle that happens to us
regularly
we miss the next match it’s annoying
but it’s a little resilience
traumas are heavier when he
there is divorce that someone is part of the
couple when there is a serious illness that
leave a sequel
and then we go very far in the
resilience that is sometimes impossible
when a child arouses for example in
a family and this to all
psychologists know that a child who
takes back the life that his parents him
give back something for which the
resilience and extraordinary difficult
even impossible and yet we have to
try his strengths and since we are
human beings with our trauma
our fear of the death of suffering
to be resilient the disease when she
happens it’s really an upheaval
in life it is an upheaval
because all the landmarks are lost
a lot of entries anyway when
she is serious
fear of the future the fact that the
work some security
disappear and cons and by year me
in any case that’s what I lived my
first of my four children this is the
afraid of me got there basically
is not essential but it could
to be alone and it’s something
which affects us all the parents I
thought
unconsciously it is an upheaval
serious because there’s also his gaze on
changing health
so he thought he was immortal
I am
a finitude which of us when he
share in the morning think that may not
to be there in the evening that we actually have a
bank with an unlimited tale about all
young aubois subjects besides doing
of the bike we can do everything
it will not happen to me and I
think that when we got sick at
content a serious trauma
all of a sudden we realize that we are
fallible that our body to a
finitude and that ultimately to be in
good health to get up in the morning from
drink his coffee to go to his job
to kiss his children and to have a
roof is amazing but we
do not count every day
because there is always a detail that
will bother us a tax by here a
car that is badly parked there by
a lot of little things that we
poison life so this
upheaval happens and the eyes of
others also changes and that’s
difficult that is to say that all of a
suddenly we seem fragile I think
if he said it very well
the hour a woman who gives birth and we
look maybe like someone who has
the more the same market value on the
work noise someone who is
sick it’s a little bit the same
he is touched in his pride but school
when they exercise, for example,
responsibilities he can very well
to be experienced as weakened by the gaze
another ten years after healing
of my cancer
I have a good friend if I did not take in
this room that every time I
go back to the room said you go
sit here then obviously
after a half marathon it’s always
better to sit but I think
that people’s eyes change and he
change permanently
I’m not just talking about insurance
who make you pay very very
long time when you have an illness and
not necessarily a cancer but also
from the eyes of others for which you
have changed by which you have
changed and this reflection sometimes a little
little difficult to live
so this big upheaval he’s going
have to go beyond it will have to do
trust trust others
because the first question we get
pose it’s basically the disease is this the
chance or scan causes human beings
hate chance ouf
except for the game maybe but for the
rest he likes to understand I’m going to give
a simple example neighbor fault 60 years
smokes like a sapper three packs per
day and all he spits a little blood and
from lung cancer to wim fort he the
knew and himself sometimes said to his
gait
we know that cervical cancer
the uterus is a virus that
most often triggers there one has a
cause and the human being is over at
comfortable most comfortable even sometimes
in aggression
he has a little sought he did not do his
screening he’s smoked there we’re still
once a year too much difficulty
in turns of the purpose of the person who is
sick and we’ll be able even maybe
send him a little bit of two
more difficult guilt eyes
are the causes – some pollution
some cancers the phone is this
that it gives tumors to the brain and
is used to feed pesticides
then he starts to have studies
which prove that there is a toxicity of
pesticides that drives a certain
number of serious illnesses
this being what is very difficult
is that what is valid at
the scale of a community is not
necessarily valid at the level
individual who in contact with pesticides
will make a cancer that in contact with the
tobacco will make a cancer we do not know
not and that’s already a lot more
difficult when someone is in a
risk population and jokes wave
this disease why me why not
him
and then the third type of cause
so here we go back in
the irrational that is to say maybe
do something wrong and god
punish god wanted it
sometimes the causes that I find
irrational the stars were not
well conjugate and then a cause more
difficult it’s stress ah well yes it
made a cancer where he has a trunk
serious because he had a stress so
all the people who had a stress or
stress had serious illnesses at
same rhythm at the same time it’s
would know but it is true that it falls
on a subject that may be
predisposed to a given moment where he
can weaken his immunity
but it’s very difficult to explain
that and understand it and affirm it
so obviously when your passion me
say doctor I never smoked I
never seen I’m running
I have cancer so the voice that thing
that I tell him already you already have 60
years wanted to stop you want a year more
early so do not be completely
pessimistic then you are better
tolerate treatments but it does not
not satisfied of course because
that we do not master everything and because
than an article at the beginning of 2015
by well- known geneticists
tomassi tifo golstein that is published in
a major scientific journal that
is called size and who says cancers
are all due to chance or almost so
it was raised from the shields of
epidemics
east by and large those who smoke if they have
the right chromosomes no problem and
and then what we are lucky to have
good chromosomes even if he eats organic
they have the cancer happily not
as simple as that with all the same
they have very far in
explanation 10 years 80% of cancers
would be due to genetic chance at the
lottery complete with sometimes a few
family forms rare but for the
remains the environment that can not be
obviously it’s very questionable
because the methodology of this
article can be disputed only for
we are not going to know everything
and smoked tomorrow excess anyway and
so it is chance again
one of the most difficult things to
bear then after once the
town hall is there what can we
have as support and I would say that is
what you can bring as
support because that’s a subject that’s
not so much talked about we talk a lot
how can a patient defend himself against
to his aggression what are the
recipes the tracks then the books
about what to eat like tomatoes
as we fight crusts big boss who
means that it’s cooked tomatoes
others the raw tomatoes or
prevent to heal good I do not fit
in this discussion that seems to me
specious and especially commercial but
actually I think we can land
the question of supporting someone who
is sick and we have all around
a disease can be very acute
brutal of an accident it can be
chronic and it’s sometimes more
difficult because basically the first
question to ask when your
spouse your friend your son your
close neighbor tell you I fell
sick and it’s serious
the first question to ask myself
think and who am I in relation to him
when I got sick
I received calls from people
totally unexpected people who
honestly was not in my
first 2 second circle there is even
a person who called me twice
per day while it was someone from
remote what was in his
calls there was a willingness to help
there was a willingness to see what
it’s interior thinking
to his thought too that you can
to be the spouse is sometimes
curiously whoever is sick or
the one who is sick will rather have
need his childhood boyfriend
because a childhood friend or a
childhood girlfriend who lived things
very strong sometimes has more impact
in friendship in the emotional that
someone we meet daily
habib very close and same family
so basically
got to feel who I am and how
I will be able to help and how can I
help first communication a topic
very large
communication is I take my
phone said no it seems that
it’s a cancer
here it is not very nice to be able
save 51 phone calls the four
first few days because these shots of
son are going to dwindle very quickly and that
it will always be there but
history is painful
you have to give an idea of the gravity
an idea of the diagnosis
an idea of how is first that
what it is that this cancer often the
people do not know it’s not always a
breast cancer that can easily be
understood even by a man it happens
it can be a harder cancer
to explain or a more serious illness
difficult to explain and when the
prognosis is not sure it’s difficult
respond
so when we have the double cap etc
we are a doctor and we take care of
cancer all day long even
if you’re not quite the same
so tell me how it is caught
but what do you have to do as
treatment you will not cure it in
so heal basically the double cap
in this case and it is valid for
all caregivers
according to the doctors it is necessary that I
reassures while reassuring while being
worried so it’s a little bit
complicated to manage but it happens
to people who are not in the
caregivers environment and themselves have
hard to cope so a text that
can be very well I learned that you
was sick tell me when you need
of me
a letter knowing that you must not
wait for response a letter this is a
one way ticket
I learned that you were sick
I live 800 kilometers away
two years we did not see that
would really like you to go
well I do not know at all what you have
but I’m close to you and if you want
call me call me and when you go
the better you tell me I ‘ll go see him
other form louis the sms to his
great you’re fine when I got
my cancer one of the friends told me I
a little story for you the story
Boar pig you know her
maybe anyway I wrote it in
my book
so I tell myself he’s going to tell me a
funny story eh yes he told a
funny story by the way
then all my colleagues from the taste of
work then it’s the pig and
wild boar at the exit of the forest and
of wild boars guarding the pig with
tenderness puts his hand on his shoulder
on the pig’s shoulder there then you have
finish your chemotherapy
and he told it like that in front of my
seven or eight colleagues scared the two
colleagues who were crying and when I
announced my cancer he came out the
courage to do it
I can guarantee you a little humor
it’s not bad huh is not bad I have a
another colleague who told me my
fourth chemotherapy you go
the burial of your last corpuscles
whites while everyone was
petrified when one is a flattened the
zero defense if we are a little bit
afraid it’s a crazy good and I think
that when we are able to receive that
you have to know someone well
some do not have the humor in these
hard times and I think the
dying can be a weapon
extraordinary dont release help
to support is first to ask
question of who I am from what I
know and what I can say it’s not
easy for caregivers to support
when they have an idea of the prognosis
but basically the best question to
to ask is rather to say I have
found recipes
it can be love I have you
found a doctor who is a lot
better than the one you have is often
people come in second
third attention I heard
pick them up right there at
side he has all the moselle treatments
the teacher but it is absolutely necessary
that he sees you very well it’s
love royal jelly
my neighbor brought me frozen
royal every day the brazilian
she made an extraordinary drink
that she brought me in a pot in
metal it was good it was cool when
we have more and more lips
nothing because we have everything
irritated everything is damaged
that’s a lot of good said that’s it
who will tell you about chemotherapy
this is love too
and I think all these
manifestations we must accept them but
crazy they can also be denied
because some of the demonstrations
of affection can be dangerous
you do not take the good doctor you take
not the right treatment I recommend you
if I recommend you his grace to one is
watered down board including when we
is a doctor so support
it’s a proximity it’s a presence
it’s love but it’s also about
silence
one of the things that has me the most
upset me personally in my
illness is when one of my
colleagues who had been totally
silent who had not signaled
when I came back after a whore
it’s a little over six months myskreen
letter saying I did not know that
to say I do not know how to speak but
I was always with you and that I
find it extremely touching
and sometimes silence and help
great then after healing
may occur
obviously I am a privileged one
is not heroes 350 thousand ago
new people in france who have a
cancer every year a lot in
heal porters do not always have
some live with to show
a long time then heal yes but that’s
not so easy when a woman gives birth
we say then you’re happy you got your
baby and the next day she is in
tears with his beginning in a post
partum blues because everything is falling apart
but when we thought for months
something when we have prepared a
review there are a lot of people in this
room when we waited for a baby or
when one is a serious illness is that
it disappears there is something of a
empty that are created considerable that is
what I want to do with my life
now everyone is getting
losing interest in you at first
the go phone call the affection
and serves to haiti the mobilizations for
this phenomenal drama early 2011 two
month later the tsunami in Japan
three lines on haiti in the
newspapers while the four hundred thousand
dead and all their family were
always there you have your
sickness no one is interested in
you healed that you’re going
to something else the neighbor to the neighbor he
something you’ve seen so that’s
very difficult to live with the
remember what we’ve been and does
to be healed do you know that at
young people who have an illness
hodgkin it’s derek old ganglions
the suicide rate is multiplied by
three at the moment their doctor their
I do not need to follow you
are certainly healed and at this
moment there it’s amazing there is a vacuum
that is created there is all this waiting
all this concentration on one thing
so sometimes it’s a happy
event while a pregnancy an exam
succeeded and empties your behind in
a disease is of this order there we
we advance with a scar that the
others do not see and they get
glad to tell you that you are
well you are cured that all is well
and it always takes and then think
that being me I think it’s a
tremendous experience rich moment
because of course I’m lucky
to heal and patients can not
not everything to say that so fade away
easy to say when we went out but
there are still things that have
been difficult I grew up
a lot I think all people
not only grow in a
physical trauma but also a
psychological trauma
I really believe that we learn
in his difficulties related to a real
lack we learn a lot
that we have some acceptance since
the Muslims say the mektoub it’s
god who wanted it
nietzsche told me your destiny and me
I love my destiny because I think that
if I had not had this disease in
2004 in the heart of my life while when
even two children were at the
kindergarten if I remember solange
two others were not big either
I grew up I grew up in my job
so I’m not very different
from before I go there maybe even
just want me to be the same but
may have listened to him differently and
young said we are the patient
know who suffered when he has a
therapist opposite that he’s from
whatever nature it is as
therapist he feels it and there is some
thing that happens then in the life of
every day I say it’s a
great luck when we overcame this
kind of things and everyone
overcomes his misfortunes more or less
big and nietzsche said all that does not
not kill makes it stronger, but
after that is the rebirth I think
that we can go back I could write a
book I write a second I
resumed the music I do a lot of other
things and is finally yes it’s a
rebirth then with luck at
middle of his life there are people to whom
it happens later sooner and that’s it
so that’s the experience that I
wanted to share with you but that’s
a beautiful experience
thank you
[Applause]
”
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