And if the charisma was a spray?
Agree that it would be just great, at the slightest situation exposed …
And we would be radiant, present, charming,
with a sweet voice, warm, smiling, radiant.
Radiant? Smiling?
A glance ? One way to look?
Is charisma a kind of magic?
Is this magic innate or is it acquired?
Let’s dig a little together this idea.
To be interested in charisma is to visit
with curiosity our sensations, our feelings.
When I look at this charismatic figure,
What am I sensitive to, what makes me vibrate?
Maybe by visiting this mentally,
you may be struck by this feeling of strangeness.
Charisma is a bit like Zen.
Hardly one thinks it brushes it that it evaporates.
And yet, let’s agree:
when one is caught in the charm of this kind of seduction,
we spend a wonderful time.
Because during that time,
you feel carried by a word, a smile, a look, a power.
You know these people
in whose eyes one has the impression of distinguishing
a kind of kindness, total benevolence.
To charisma, spontaneously, intuitively,
many of us associate ideas of presence,
seduction, power.
That’s good, huh?
So, would it be a hidden thing inside people?
Is there something hidden in the DNA?
There are those who have it and then the others?
If I invite you a few seconds
to mentally visit the figures you find charismatic,
maybe there are rising portraits,
portraits that you find radiant.
And for my part,
I believe that each of us
carries a very special magic, very personal.
A magic in our way of apprehending, to understand our environment.
A magic or a singularity in the way of expressing our vision.
That this vision concerns the rheology of threshold fluids,
the asteroid trajectory or tiramisu recipe.
And I concede,
my charisma is hidden in my tiramisu.
But charisma is not necessarily gesticulations, vociferations.
It is sometimes an incredible presence by the calm.
A power, a gesture, a displacement,
something in the eye, a form of kindness.
And maybe to consider
the different characters that I present to you,
maybe you will be more or less sensitive
to the nature of the charism that these people release.
But all provoke something.
A movement of the heart, a leap of the soul.
Something very special
to which we can be more or less reactive and sensitive.
Good, but I concede:
express my charism
about the resistivity of special concretes in an acid medium,
it’s certainly more complex
only with a beautiful declaration of love with a bouquet of flowers to the key.
So if we all carry a very personal magic,
of a charisma therefore, how to express it?
For you in particular tomorrow,
on the occasion of a customer presentation,
a business meeting, a team meeting
or more immediately from a job interview.
More widely for all of us
how to find a way to experience a great life experience
looking for the most beautiful expression of our soul?
Let’s now visit some brakes to the expression of our essence.
Beliefs, misperceptions, doubts.
Throughout the year,
I lead management courses, sales, speaking.
And all these adults so serious that I see coming to me
sometimes give me the impression of being great kids playing.
Like when we were at school and we played at:
“I am a superhero! “
But there are not many superheroes there.
Many give me the impression of being a little terrified kids
who try, who strive
to stick to the fantasized image they make of a professional:
man, woman, serious, credible, in master, engaged.
So I see him in cold looks, in strict costumes,
in PowerPoint presentations if framed.
Frankly disheartening.
While I think that’s pretty,
it’s our weaknesses, our little cracks, our doubts,
and especially what we do with our fragilities.
That’s nourishing.
Christophe.
Project Manager in a company that designs ERP.
It was during the morning that he hoisted the white flag.
“Antoine …
I hear everything you tell me about the people I have to manage,
their expectations, their needs and all that I have to do for them.
And it connects me with the fact that …
I do not understand anything about human matter.
Me, my thing is networks, systems.
There I am in my yard, my playground. “
Bel assault of honesty, do not you think?
But then, what?
Is there Christophe, knitted like that?
and definitely disqualified to express charisma
and bring a team with him?
It is not entirely certain.
Let’s review for a few seconds the nature of his reaction.
First, there is listening and understanding
and then humility and simplicity.
And already, just that, it connects us with a certain human quality.
So, presumably,
Christophe, we will not make him an industry captain
nor even a Jack Sparrow.
But I’m just saying that with his way of accepting his fragility,
there is already a connection, there is already
a way to establish a relationship, an emotion.
And charisma sometimes starts right there.
In my capacity
to pose with words a personal story that establishes the connection.
Sylvie.
Financial Director of a large French industrial group.
Little person any fine.
Tailor strict, very short hair.
Nice eyes and a nice face. But these glasses so severe.
And Sylvie, in the morning, presents us her objectives for the day.
“You understand, I present results to the steering committee,
I need to adopt tools, procedures for performance. “
Blabla, serious, etc.
And in the late morning,
the eyes a little scrambled at the time of an individual debrief,
Sylvie confesses that …
she can not believe it, she does not trust her,
and even worse: it is null.
“You understand, I’m really scared
and everyone looks at me, it’s awful,
and I have the impression of annoying everyone with these numbers.
You see how much the normative pressure of a group
associated with the representations that I forge
a serious professional, credible, committed,
creates an extremely restrictive pressure system
even downright narrow.
My desire to train and conform to the habits and customs of a group,
to adopt his behaviors, even his dress codes.
Well it’s a good idea.
It says to the group in question:
“I see your codes.
I am able to consider them and I can even prove to you that …
I am able to adapt to it, to comply with it. “
And it’s good to be accepted, it’s reasonable.
Until.
And you can be sure, the limit of this principle is
to dissolve by dint of wanting to conform.
And I see it in the way
to all these frames, for real,
to start their communication “Hello, I’m going to talk about …”
The cold look.
Hidden behind their PowerPoint presentation.
And from time to time I catch a flash of mischief.
And I can tell how much they could be piquant, moving,
powerful, charismatic, if only they dared to vote
the authorization to exist by themselves.
To accept that to show enthusiasm
it’s not inappropriate, ridiculous, unseemly,
but on the contrary a guarantee of conviction and authenticity.
It would be almost reassuring for you, young engineers,
to believe that in many companies, the right decisions
are taken with tables of just numbers,
impeccable curves,
successful triple integrals.
The most extraordinary big decisions are sometimes taken here.
In a place that does not have access to rational speech.
But just to emotions.
So I make those people jump sometimes when I say to them:
“Jacques! Your presentation of Mr. Director of Operations,
it was just impeccable.
It was pro, serious, controlled,
really indisputable.
But I would like to see Jacques, to meet Jacques.
You would not want to put
real pieces of Jacques in your communication?
In your smiles, your looks, your words, your hesitations, even your postilions.
Because Mr. Gray’s smooth communication, gray suit, she’s killing me. “
And now he makes me think of Michel.
Michel, incredible meteorite
in the so-normative constellation of the Parisian bank.
Big time: I open a session in internal audit service.
An internal audit is something.
Charcoal Gray and Navy Costume Competition,
formatted watches,
flawless tie knots
(6 mm under the first collar button is not anything).
Luxury, calm, sharp teeth
and Michel.
Michel, happy fiftieth birthday,
with a smashing suit.
Finally, costume …
How to tell you ?
A 70s car salesman jacket.
With big bright, colorful tiles,
tie to Mickey, I could not find her,
and bright yellow shirt.
So Michel is laughing, breaking code and happy to be, obviously.
That piques my curiosity.
So I take a break to interview him,
and he confirms me that indeed,
all these formatted young people have finished tiring him,
that he found this way of expressing a snub and his difference.
Finally a living!
What Michel was just struggling to take into account was that …
his clothing choice quite noisy
put a limit.
All the time we spent to consider his shattering jacket,
we listened badly to his messages.
You may know this adage:
what you are talking so loudly that you no longer hear what you say.
So here are some profiles limited by beliefs, doubts.
Let’s visit some free wizards now.
And at the hit parade of my portrait gallery,
I propose you newcomers.
Eric, TGV chief of staff.
Met about a month and a half ago
for the benefit of a control on the route Lyon – Paris.
And Eric …
make me laugh.
And then the conversation gets on the mind, the quality of service,
and he gives me a beer at the bar-car.
For an hour, he explains his job with passion – very proud of him.
On his badge, normally there was marked control service.
There we do not necessarily see it well,
but he chose to score “El Padre”.
A bent guy but really powerful.
Julie.
An extraterrestrial Canadian
with an accent to cut the “tabarnacle” with the knife,
with Homeric bursts of laughter,
who told me three weeks ago an anecdote that I found piquant.
She was introduced to a private client, it happens.
Great lady, very elegant, very distinguished,
that at once she was familiar and kissed like good bread.
Before learning a few hours later that she was crowned head
and oligarch of a powerful country that produces a lot of black oil.
It really liked a lot.
Alicia. Alicia Weil.
This is a nugget I found on LinkedIn recently.
And not least, since there charisma is expressed in writing.
It’s quite surprising.
A catchy title.
A catchy title, a development that starts almost calmly,
and we find ourselves in full roller coaster.
Bold neologisms,
shattering slippages,
weird words …
You have to hang on, but it’s worth the trip.
So, to consider these free magicians,
it seemed to me that there was something like a common denominator.
And this common denominator,
it seemed to me that it was a certain nature of competence.
But beware, not just any skill.
A mastered skill, completely mature,
which precisely releases an incredible wealth.
And maybe if there are some of you
playing an instrument or playing a high-level sport,
maybe you have experienced it.
Mastering the total gesture provides incredible freedom.
Well, but then, what do we do with all this?
How to find a way to express our charisma?
How to express his magic?
There is no perfect answer to this question.
It will also depend on the companies you will meet.
Let’s visit a little in that direction.
Exactly, perhaps among you
are there any who have seen LinkedIn’s news feed?
the picture of this message posted on the desk of a person hired at Renault.
You have this message that essentially says the following thing, on a post-it:
“Hello, welcome, we are delighted to welcome you. “
On the left side, there is a list “you have the right to”.
To have a coffee, not to know everything,
to go elsewhere to concentrate.
So there is a whole list.
And what does that tell us?
That for real, there are a number of companies
who have taken a really substantial step
on a revisited humanity that completely frees itself
cartoons of good students.
And that, it starts to be interesting.
A month ago, I attended a meeting
which evoked the concept of the liberated enterprise,
and I heard a formula that amused and surprised me.
This generation, you,
received a lot of love
and few rules.
And in the company,
there are a lot of rules
and not a lot of love.
At the same time, business is not the first place we think
to get a social hug, that would be known.
On the other hand, what is new is our justified requirement …
to work in those companies that are interested differently
to individuality, responsibility, sustainable commitment of people.
It is these companies in which it will be good to express
your difference, your magic, your singularity.
Finding them should not be so difficult.
I’m sure in just a few clicks
you will find your TripAdvisor company.
So, we have seen from the business side, from your side, what to do?
Observe.
Have fun with what you see.
Be careful with the Mister Cool look, but …
dare to take a step aside.
Maybe two.
Dare to be yourself.
I heard a consultant
talk very seriously about job interviews:
“The important thing is to be yourself. “
He’s funny, him. Yes, but which one?
We are one and multiple.
I am the consultant consultant to companies,
I am my daddy with my daughters,
the ego with my parents, a little different from me with my darling,
very, very different from me with my rugby buddies.
(Laughter)
Would you believe it?
And still quite different
the first person in the class who is interviewed.
And that begs a question:
what is the good me assembled to be enough at once
authentic and motivating for someone who wants to recruit me?
How to adjust the sliders or do not touch the sliders?
Not easy.
One of the fields that will be interesting to work,
it’s going to be our professional communications.
Before that, maybe some of you are wondering:
“But then,
where are my charisma, my magic, my singularity hidden? “
And it’s not very obvious to know.
For oneself especially.
Especially since I can imagine that to be here in this school,
some of you have had to work sometimes a little late at night.
This is not necessarily a side of the garden we are used to watching.
But there is one thing you can do:
it’s asking the question around you.
Rather people who really like or love you.
You may be surprised at what you will hear.
I strongly encourage you to experience.
A first interesting territory to work to exercise its charisma,
these are professional communications.
And if the habit was the monk?
That would be nice, right? If we could pretend to have charisma?
I will be nice to my turn and offer you a kit of express charisma.
You tell me, it’s completely terrifying
all those eyes that converge on me, it’s awful,
there is an emotional crash, it is appalling!
We will look at all this a little closer.
The first emotional crash trigger,
in general, it is the small voice that I cultivate before the event.
After, there are the reactions of my brain when I am in situation.
I have to show you something, anyway.
Because we will enter the neurosciences,
you need equipment.
Here.
Here you have the prefrontal brain, the rational brain.
Seat of rational and supposedly intelligent thoughts.
Here you have the limbic brain, seat of emotions, automatisms.
And here, the reptilian brain,
which commands a number of basic vital functions
and who takes care of our survival.
For several thousand years,
he still worked a lot because we are still there
While we went through hard times
with extremely stubborn predators.
So when I’m facing an audience,
all three go into action but not at the same speed.
There is my rational brain that says:
“I have an environment, a job to do, let’s go. “
But I have my emotional brain that says
that he will probably die
under the eyes that converge on him.
And then there is the reptilian brain which, he says:
“No, you will surely die if you do not jump through the window
in the next ten seconds. “
So, it still creates something quite complicated,
And finally, it is the reptilian who takes the power.
He is telephoning the amygdala
who sends a big charge of adrenaline into the blood.
Increased heart rate to prepare the action,
dilation of the nostrils to increase the flow of oxygen in the blood,
dilation of the pupils to increase the visual field,
inflow of blood in the lower limbs to prepare …
active escape.
Influx of blood in the upper limbs to prepare the aggressive defense.
It’s a bit of a mess, you have to agree.
So…
Something interesting connects us
with the states of urgency of instinct
and that’s a situation that many of us have known
at least several times.
I imagine that among you there are some who drive.
If you raise your hand, I realize.
OK.
And we almost all shared this circumstance,
You are stopped at the red light.
And then, fortuitously, your eyes sweep around.
Others, imagine yourself on the terrace of a cafe.
Your look also sweeps around
and cross that of the driver next door.
What are we all doing instantly?
We look away.
Finally, unless you have a specific goal with the person.
We look away, and it’s not polite,
it’s because we know viscerally, instinctively,
that a look held induces a provocation
which will generate either an aggressive response, a leak or a paralysis.
It’s unstoppable, it’s like that.
It would be even more fun if I showed you this live.
For that, I will call some volunteers among you.
That’s good, you’re cautious, it’s clever, that.
So I’m going to go grab some volunteers
and things are going to happen, right away.
So far, I had a smiling and attentive audience,
and then I have glances that flee.
There were three answers programmed:
flight, aggressive defense and inhibition of action.
And that’s what happens
to the people I’m heading to.
I hear them:
“I’m the carpet, I’m the chair, he does not see me. “
It’s almost successful as a strategy,
I congratulate you, you have been excellent.
I will still pick you up.
You two, please, and you two, thank you.
Come on, come join me.
In front of the audience, here.
Have you observed?
It is the impact of the convergent gaze of …
But come to the red square, there.
It is the best,
this is where the sphygmomanometer is at its maximum.
That’s it, excellent, perfect position.
You do not move. No, no, freeze your position.
That’s how it is. It’s good.
What you are seeing,
it is the impact of the convergent gaze of predators towards prey,
and the product that it generates on the reptilian of these people.
And immediately, you see that instinctively
they chose an active defense.
This is the back vine leaf.
(Laughter)
It is prudent.
It works pretty well with the vine leaf before.
We sometimes also …
The good business.
Or the newlyweds too, it does it well.
You will see that a subtle adjustment,
and they will completely change the impact they will have on you.
And this setting, you will adopt it …
We are almost there, that’s it.
Legs spread a few inches away.
You will put your hands in your arms,
along the body, hop there.
You will look at the audience and do it with your hands.
Looking at the audience, smiling as you are.
It changes completely
the photography, the power and the presence they have, right?
You can applaud them. Return to your place, thank you.
(applause)
It’s normal when I introduce myself to an audience
that eyes converge on me.
There is an expectation, it’s completely normal.
The very first thing,
and that’s my tiny little express charisma kit,
it is daring to occupy the space, to dare to exist before your audience.
Anchoring on the ground, arms along the body,
I tried to do it just before starting.
And I take possession of my audience.
No defense position,
and the first word is going to be a gestural invitation like that.
And this is done to produce to my audience
a first reassuring photo that conveys a non-verbal message.
And this message is:
“There is a pilot at the helm of the ship. “
This is the first reassuring message
that you can address to your audience.
And there the springboard is ready.
The springboard is ready for what?
To start communicating, to play.
And the first element of charisma,
it will be…
I did it in title quickly,
it’s daring to put the elements of personal history,
want to communicate with an audience.
And now, I’ll tell you a word about daring.
Dare to stage your communications.
Be a magician who takes the rabbit out of the hat.
Waltz the comets.
Make your DNA, the eyes and the heart of your audience sparkle.
Because remember …
We read and write poetry not because it’s pretty.
We read and write poetry because we are part of humanity.
And that humanity is made of passion.
Law, justice, industry, medicine, are noble pursuits
and are necessary to ensure life.
But love,
beauty, adventure, passion, that’s what we live for.
To quote Whitman:
“O me! O life!
All these questions that assail me constantly,
All these processions of unbelievers,
these cities populated by fools,
What is good about it?
Reply :
That you are here,
that life exists
and identity,
May the prodigious spectacle continue, and you may bring your rhyme to it. “
May the prodigious spectacle continue, and you may bring your rhyme to it.
What will be your rhyme?
(Laughter)
(Applause)
”
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