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Getting Real about Depression | Maha El Alami | TEDxAUI


[Applause]

[Applause] maya angelou an american poet memoirs

maya angelou an american poet memoirs

maya angelou an american poet memoirs and civil rights activists once said

and civil rights activists once said

and civil rights activists once said there is no greater agony than bearing

there is no greater agony than bearing

there is no greater agony than bearing it an adult story inside you so here is

it an adult story inside you so here is

it an adult story inside you so here is mine I’m a 20 years old I’m a 20 years

mine I’m a 20 years old I’m a 20 years

mine I’m a 20 years old I’m a 20 years old girl who is lost in this big old

old girl who is lost in this big old

old girl who is lost in this big old crowd there is the world I’m different

crowd there is the world I’m different

crowd there is the world I’m different get the same I see and think things

get the same I see and think things

get the same I see and think things differently because I feel everything so

differently because I feel everything so

differently because I feel everything so deeply but as many of you as many of you

deeply but as many of you as many of you

deeply but as many of you as many of you life had made me go through tough

life had made me go through tough

life had made me go through tough experiences which made me become a

experiences which made me become a

experiences which made me become a better me but I still feel like a mess

better me but I still feel like a mess

better me but I still feel like a mess like I’m incomplete I was naive too

like I’m incomplete I was naive too

like I’m incomplete I was naive too sensitive and shy person with no

sensitive and shy person with no

sensitive and shy person with no self-confidence as a tour of cards hard

self-confidence as a tour of cards hard

self-confidence as a tour of cards hard to build yet easy to crash but I still

to build yet easy to crash but I still

to build yet easy to crash but I still feel like a mess a mess that is torn

feel like a mess a mess that is torn

feel like a mess a mess that is torn between the four quadrants of our brain

between the four quadrants of our brain

between the four quadrants of our brain analytical creative organized and

analytical creative organized and

analytical creative organized and sensitive I’m analytical so I always

sensitive I’m analytical so I always

sensitive I’m analytical so I always overthink everything sometimes even the

overthink everything sometimes even the

overthink everything sometimes even the silliest things I’m organized or at

silliest things I’m organized or at

silliest things I’m organized or at least I’m trying to be in fact sorry

least I’m trying to be in fact sorry

least I’m trying to be in fact sorry sorry in fact I enjoy having everything

sorry in fact I enjoy having everything

sorry in fact I enjoy having everything perfectly planned in advance and I’m

perfectly planned in advance and I’m

perfectly planned in advance and I’m creative well seeking creativity through

creative well seeking creativity through

creative well seeking creativity through drawings singing rapping dancing and

drawings singing rapping dancing and

drawings singing rapping dancing and writing and last but not least I am

writing and last but not least I am

writing and last but not least I am sensitive it is certain that i have long

sensitive it is certain that i have long

sensitive it is certain that i have long battled with this quadrant in my life

battled with this quadrant in my life

battled with this quadrant in my life and I did by going through the five

and I did by going through the five

and I did by going through the five stages that we go through in every

stages that we go through in every

stages that we go through in every situation first denial then anger fear

situation first denial then anger fear

situation first denial then anger fear depression and finally x

depression and finally x

depression and finally x septons but I finally come to the point

septons but I finally come to the point

septons but I finally come to the point where I’ve mastered it it’s neither a

where I’ve mastered it it’s neither a

where I’ve mastered it it’s neither a quality nor a flaw it’s a part of who I

quality nor a flaw it’s a part of who I

quality nor a flaw it’s a part of who I am with all of this it may seem that I

am with all of this it may seem that I

am with all of this it may seem that I have everything figured out but I could

have everything figured out but I could

have everything figured out but I could have been more wrong and more lost than

have been more wrong and more lost than

have been more wrong and more lost than I already a.m. see when you have a brain

I already a.m. see when you have a brain

I already a.m. see when you have a brain like mine that overthinks everything

like mine that overthinks everything

like mine that overthinks everything over and over again and the lives and

over and over again and the lives and

over and over again and the lives and everything creating answers for my

everything creating answers for my

everything creating answers for my unanswerable questions and feeling

unanswerable questions and feeling

unanswerable questions and feeling literally everything you inevitably end

literally everything you inevitably end

literally everything you inevitably end up finding yourself lost nevertheless I

up finding yourself lost nevertheless I

up finding yourself lost nevertheless I have came to a point where I don’t want

have came to a point where I don’t want

have came to a point where I don’t want to live as we’re supposed to be in our

to live as we’re supposed to be in our

to live as we’re supposed to be in our little comfort zone when you need to

little comfort zone when you need to

little comfort zone when you need to study to get a good job and gain money

study to get a good job and gain money

study to get a good job and gain money and have a family of your own no I want

and have a family of your own no I want

and have a family of your own no I want to be more than that I want to make a

to be more than that I want to make a

to be more than that I want to make a change I want to make this world a

change I want to make this world a

change I want to make this world a better place and what a better way to

better place and what a better way to

better place and what a better way to start to make a change then by getting

start to make a change then by getting

start to make a change then by getting real about our topic that has badly been

real about our topic that has badly been

real about our topic that has badly been characterized for a long time by the

characterized for a long time by the

characterized for a long time by the whole society this latter is depression

whole society this latter is depression

whole society this latter is depression many people linked it to Stannis but

many people linked it to Stannis but

many people linked it to Stannis but it’s in fact a major depressive disorder

it’s in fact a major depressive disorder

it’s in fact a major depressive disorder and I first thought of giving you the

and I first thought of giving you the

and I first thought of giving you the whole definition of a major depressive

whole definition of a major depressive

whole definition of a major depressive disorder but it’s something that anyone

disorder but it’s something that anyone

disorder but it’s something that anyone can find on the internet so instead I’m

can find on the internet so instead I’m

can find on the internet so instead I’m going to put you on the shoes of a

going to put you on the shoes of a

going to put you on the shoes of a depressed person and showing you how

depressed person and showing you how

depressed person and showing you how depression messes up your mind from the

depression messes up your mind from the

depression messes up your mind from the moment you open your eyes to the moment

moment you open your eyes to the moment

moment you open your eyes to the moment you go to bed let’s take as an example a

you go to bed let’s take as an example a

you go to bed let’s take as an example a college student so as many of us can

college student so as many of us can

college student so as many of us can relate it’s Monday you’re tired you will

relate it’s Monday you’re tired you will

relate it’s Monday you’re tired you will complete for class and you’re still

complete for class and you’re still

complete for class and you’re still at a slow motion but that’s only the

at a slow motion but that’s only the

at a slow motion but that’s only the surface you got deep inside depression

surface you got deep inside depression

surface you got deep inside depression is whispering in your ears look at you

is whispering in your ears look at you

is whispering in your ears look at you really this is the best you could do

really this is the best you could do

really this is the best you could do today you’re such a lost case and now

today you’re such a lost case and now

today you’re such a lost case and now you’re really wearing this you look so

you’re really wearing this you look so

you’re really wearing this you look so fat in that outfit and don’t get me

fat in that outfit and don’t get me

fat in that outfit and don’t get me started with your hair looks like you’ve

started with your hair looks like you’ve

started with your hair looks like you’ve been held hostage in a cave but then you

been held hostage in a cave but then you

been held hostage in a cave but then you manage to go to class but depression

manage to go to class but depression

manage to go to class but depression never stops it’s like a service working

never stops it’s like a service working

never stops it’s like a service working for 24 hours for seven days it’s

for 24 hours for seven days it’s

for 24 hours for seven days it’s shouting look at these people see how

shouting look at these people see how

shouting look at these people see how their social funny and happy with their

their social funny and happy with their

their social funny and happy with their lives not in near what you are why do

lives not in near what you are why do

lives not in near what you are why do you even bother to go to class anyways

you even bother to go to class anyways

you even bother to go to class anyways you’re stupid slatka it’s not like you

you’re stupid slatka it’s not like you

you’re stupid slatka it’s not like you will achieve anything in your life your

will achieve anything in your life your

will achieve anything in your life your existence means nothing but then you’re

existence means nothing but then you’re

existence means nothing but then you’re in class you can’t follow anything there

in class you can’t follow anything there

in class you can’t follow anything there is a war going on in your head and it

is a war going on in your head and it

is a war going on in your head and it just doesn’t seem to end but it’s not

just doesn’t seem to end but it’s not

just doesn’t seem to end but it’s not just in class it’s not just in class or

just in class it’s not just in class or

just in class it’s not just in class or in your room when you’re alone it’s

in your room when you’re alone it’s

in your room when you’re alone it’s everywhere wherever you go it’s

everywhere wherever you go it’s

everywhere wherever you go it’s following you like your shadow at night

following you like your shadow at night

following you like your shadow at night constantly reminding you that you’re

constantly reminding you that you’re

constantly reminding you that you’re worthless hopeless and helpless days

worthless hopeless and helpless days

worthless hopeless and helpless days passes we expensive than months so you

passes we expensive than months so you

passes we expensive than months so you start to lose appetite or gain depending

start to lose appetite or gain depending

start to lose appetite or gain depending on how you feel you lose based on how on

on how you feel you lose based on how on

on how you feel you lose based on how on the things and activities used to love

the things and activities used to love

the things and activities used to love you lose motivation to do anything you

you lose motivation to do anything you

you lose motivation to do anything you lose hope but the biggest challenge is

lose hope but the biggest challenge is

lose hope but the biggest challenge is that you know that the voices inside

that you know that the voices inside

that you know that the voices inside your head are not really it’s not

your head are not really it’s not

your head are not really it’s not working

but you know but you know that the

but you know but you know that the voices inside your head are not real but

voices inside your head are not real but

voices inside your head are not real but maybe they’re so persuasive and or then

maybe they’re so persuasive and or then

maybe they’re so persuasive and or then again so persistent that you start to

again so persistent that you start to

again so persistent that you start to believe that more and more as time goes

believe that more and more as time goes

believe that more and more as time goes by till it becomes your truth in your

by till it becomes your truth in your

by till it becomes your truth in your head and as if this all of this wasn’t

head and as if this all of this wasn’t

head and as if this all of this wasn’t hard and horrible enough you still need

hard and horrible enough you still need

hard and horrible enough you still need to deal with the fact that depression is

to deal with the fact that depression is

to deal with the fact that depression is stigmatized by the whole society which

stigmatized by the whole society which

stigmatized by the whole society which leaves you unable to talk and open up

leaves you unable to talk and open up

leaves you unable to talk and open up about it about your illness yes an

about it about your illness yes an

about it about your illness yes an illness depression is a disorder that

illness depression is a disorder that

illness depression is a disorder that affects you mentally and physically and

affects you mentally and physically and

affects you mentally and physically and it’s not like when you have the flu or a

it’s not like when you have the flu or a

it’s not like when you have the flu or a stomachache you just you know you just

stomachache you just you know you just

stomachache you just you know you just don’t can heal from it quickly and

don’t can heal from it quickly and

don’t can heal from it quickly and there’s no quick cure for it but that’s

there’s no quick cure for it but that’s

there’s no quick cure for it but that’s not the only problem the thing that gets

not the only problem the thing that gets

not the only problem the thing that gets on my nerves is that societies have

on my nerves is that societies have

on my nerves is that societies have built up a little box around depression

built up a little box around depression

built up a little box around depression a box of shame deny and rejection shame

a box of shame deny and rejection shame

a box of shame deny and rejection shame because you shouldn’t be depressed in

because you shouldn’t be depressed in

because you shouldn’t be depressed in the first place as if you could control

the first place as if you could control

the first place as if you could control it as if you could end it whenever you

it as if you could end it whenever you

it as if you could end it whenever you want it as if it just if it was just a

want it as if it just if it was just a

want it as if it just if it was just a fail and deny because you’re not

fail and deny because you’re not

fail and deny because you’re not depressed you’re just stressed or tired

depressed you’re just stressed or tired

depressed you’re just stressed or tired and rejection because you’re not fun to

and rejection because you’re not fun to

and rejection because you’re not fun to be around you’re always you always look

be around you’re always you always look

be around you’re always you always look sad and you do not fit in the criteria

sad and you do not fit in the criteria

sad and you do not fit in the criteria of society you’re just a weirdo but if

of society you’re just a weirdo but if

of society you’re just a weirdo but if you still can’t get my point let me give

you still can’t get my point let me give

you still can’t get my point let me give you an example you’re with your

you an example you’re with your

you an example you’re with your supposedly friends and here she looks at

supposedly friends and here she looks at

supposedly friends and here she looks at you and say come on cheer up you’re fine

you and say come on cheer up you’re fine

you and say come on cheer up you’re fine and you reply with a smile but inside

and you reply with a smile but inside

and you reply with a smile but inside it’s a big fake smile because you want

it’s a big fake smile because you want

it’s a big fake smile because you want to cry you want to shout but it just it

to cry you want to shout but it just it

to cry you want to shout but it just it just feel like you’re you take an

just feel like you’re you take an

just feel like you’re you take an eternity to explain yourself so you just

eternity to explain yourself so you just

eternity to explain yourself so you just reply within and saying yeah yeah I’m

reply within and saying yeah yeah I’m

reply within and saying yeah yeah I’m just tired it’s okay but you can’t

just tired it’s okay but you can’t

just tired it’s okay but you can’t understand how people can get the way

understand how people can get the way

understand how people can get the way you are so it’s killing you slowly

you are so it’s killing you slowly

you are so it’s killing you slowly inside and slowly killing you inside

inside and slowly killing you inside

inside and slowly killing you inside because you want to get this all out of

because you want to get this all out of

because you want to get this all out of your head but you can’t and and

your head but you can’t and and

your head but you can’t and and depression is depression is still in

depression is depression is still in

depression is depression is still in control and it’s whispering are you

control and it’s whispering are you

control and it’s whispering are you crazy do you want to tell people about

crazy do you want to tell people about

crazy do you want to tell people about your problems you’re lonely and boring

your problems you’re lonely and boring

your problems you’re lonely and boring go kill yourself already it will give us

go kill yourself already it will give us

go kill yourself already it will give us all a break yes my speech may be harsh

all a break yes my speech may be harsh

all a break yes my speech may be harsh but we need to get real about depression

but we need to get real about depression

but we need to get real about depression because if we do not break the hush

because if we do not break the hush

because if we do not break the hush depression will keep on taking more in

depression will keep on taking more in

depression will keep on taking more in more lives every year but for those of

more lives every year but for those of

more lives every year but for those of you who know who’s a friend who’s

you who know who’s a friend who’s

you who know who’s a friend who’s depressed but don’t know how to act

depressed but don’t know how to act

depressed but don’t know how to act don’t worry you don’t have to prepare a

don’t worry you don’t have to prepare a

don’t worry you don’t have to prepare a speech for it you just need to say the

speech for it you just need to say the

speech for it you just need to say the following five words I am here for you

following five words I am here for you

following five words I am here for you and mean them and then just let them

and mean them and then just let them

and mean them and then just let them come to you and explain themselves and

come to you and explain themselves and

come to you and explain themselves and for those of you hard feeling depressed

for those of you hard feeling depressed

for those of you hard feeling depressed listen to my words carefully I have been

listen to my words carefully I have been

listen to my words carefully I have been there and I know how it feels but you

there and I know how it feels but you

there and I know how it feels but you need to stand and fight because this is

need to stand and fight because this is

need to stand and fight because this is not the last chapter of your life this

not the last chapter of your life this

not the last chapter of your life this is not the end because you’re better

is not the end because you’re better

is not the end because you’re better than this because you’re strong and

than this because you’re strong and

than this because you’re strong and worthy of a happy life because you are

worthy of a happy life because you are

worthy of a happy life because you are enough thank

”

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