A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Failure | Robert Owens | TEDxDayton

every day of my life something has tried

every day of my life something has tried to kill me and failed one in 15

to kill me and failed one in 15

to kill me and failed one in 15 african-american men are incarcerated in

african-american men are incarcerated in

african-american men are incarcerated in America one in three will go to jail at

America one in three will go to jail at

America one in three will go to jail at some time in their life the numbers the

some time in their life the numbers the

some time in their life the numbers the disparities of wealth and education are

disparities of wealth and education are

disparities of wealth and education are at their highest rate since 1989 the

at their highest rate since 1989 the

at their highest rate since 1989 the numbers of black men killed by police

numbers of black men killed by police

numbers of black men killed by police officers in the United States has

officers in the United States has

officers in the United States has skyrocketed in recent years but I stand

skyrocketed in recent years but I stand

skyrocketed in recent years but I stand before you today as a man who has beaten

before you today as a man who has beaten

before you today as a man who has beaten all of those extraordinary eyes and I’ll

all of those extraordinary eyes and I’ll

all of those extraordinary eyes and I’ll tell you how I did it I did it by

tell you how I did it I did it by

tell you how I did it I did it by learning and applying three simple

learning and applying three simple

learning and applying three simple ideals the same ideals that I used to

ideals the same ideals that I used to

ideals the same ideals that I used to teach to incarcerated youth to set them

teach to incarcerated youth to set them

teach to incarcerated youth to set them up for success after they were released

up for success after they were released

up for success after they were released the first thing I learned was purpose

the first thing I learned was purpose

the first thing I learned was purpose now I learned purpose after I flunked

now I learned purpose after I flunked

now I learned purpose after I flunked out of college

out of college

out of college I went from job to job until I started

I went from job to job until I started

I went from job to job until I started working with juvenile detainees in a

working with juvenile detainees in a

working with juvenile detainees in a juvenile detention facility and in this

juvenile detention facility and in this

juvenile detention facility and in this facility I had an immediate connection

facility I had an immediate connection

facility I had an immediate connection with the kids that I worked with they

with the kids that I worked with they

with the kids that I worked with they exhibited some thinking errors and some

exhibited some thinking errors and some

exhibited some thinking errors and some bad habits that I had exhibited myself

bad habits that I had exhibited myself

bad habits that I had exhibited myself as their age and so through the process

as their age and so through the process

as their age and so through the process of me helping them correct these

of me helping them correct these

of me helping them correct these thinking errors they learned to trust me

thinking errors they learned to trust me

thinking errors they learned to trust me and I learned to trust myself I

and I learned to trust myself I

and I learned to trust myself I explained to them that the pain and hurt

explained to them that the pain and hurt

explained to them that the pain and hurt that they have they can exchange that

that they have they can exchange that

that they have they can exchange that pain hurt and anger for purpose and that

pain hurt and anger for purpose and that

pain hurt and anger for purpose and that without purpose success is virtually

without purpose success is virtually

without purpose success is virtually impossible purpose is an anchor that

impossible purpose is an anchor that

impossible purpose is an anchor that keeps us from drifting into an abyss of

keeps us from drifting into an abyss of

keeps us from drifting into an abyss of mediocrity fear and doubt I also

mediocrity fear and doubt I also

mediocrity fear and doubt I also explained to them that there’s a right

explained to them that there’s a right

explained to them that there’s a right way to do the wrong thing meaning if you

way to do the wrong thing meaning if you

way to do the wrong thing meaning if you go out there and you’re going to commit

go out there and you’re going to commit

go out there and you’re going to commit these crimes take purpose with you

these crimes take purpose with you

these crimes take purpose with you because if you have purpose that could

because if you have purpose that could

because if you have purpose that could be the deciding factor in you going to

be the deciding factor in you going to

be the deciding factor in you going to jail and you go into the cemetery second

jail and you go into the cemetery second

jail and you go into the cemetery second thing i learned gratitude gratitude now

thing i learned gratitude gratitude now

thing i learned gratitude gratitude now I learned gratitude in a very very

I learned gratitude in a very very

I learned gratitude in a very very unique way I learned gratitude when I

unique way I learned gratitude when I

unique way I learned gratitude when I used to clean toilets and scrub floors

used to clean toilets and scrub floors

used to clean toilets and scrub floors at a local university here in town you

at a local university here in town you

at a local university here in town you see it was the only job that I could

see it was the only job that I could

see it was the only job that I could find at the time because employers and

find at the time because employers and

find at the time because employers and people that interviewed me treated me

people that interviewed me treated me

people that interviewed me treated me like I was an ex-felon and not a person

like I was an ex-felon and not a person

like I was an ex-felon and not a person working with fellows and I even started

working with fellows and I even started

working with fellows and I even started to take on some of those anxieties that

to take on some of those anxieties that

to take on some of those anxieties that ex-felons have I had a terrible fear of

ex-felons have I had a terrible fear of

ex-felons have I had a terrible fear of Technology my relationships and my

Technology my relationships and my

Technology my relationships and my personal skills they started to fall

personal skills they started to fall

personal skills they started to fall apart I had all of this

apart I had all of this

apart I had all of this freedom but yet I still felt trapped

freedom but yet I still felt trapped

freedom but yet I still felt trapped between what I was and who I wanted to

between what I was and who I wanted to

between what I was and who I wanted to become after getting home one night from

become after getting home one night from

become after getting home one night from work scrubbing floors and scrubbing

work scrubbing floors and scrubbing

work scrubbing floors and scrubbing toilets I I just had the worst day of my

toilets I I just had the worst day of my

toilets I I just had the worst day of my life and my wife who was nine months

life and my wife who was nine months

life and my wife who was nine months pregnant at the time and on bed rest she

pregnant at the time and on bed rest she

pregnant at the time and on bed rest she turns to me and she says dear you

turns to me and she says dear you

turns to me and she says dear you survived every attempt on your life

survived every attempt on your life

survived every attempt on your life while working in the jail and when you

while working in the jail and when you

while working in the jail and when you were in the streets and you have not

were in the streets and you have not

were in the streets and you have not become a statistic yet you’ve become an

become a statistic yet you’ve become an

become a statistic yet you’ve become an inspiration to people who wanted to

inspiration to people who wanted to

inspiration to people who wanted to change their lives and in that very

change their lives and in that very

change their lives and in that very moment of listening to my wife’s words I

moment of listening to my wife’s words I

moment of listening to my wife’s words I fell down on my knees and was grateful

fell down on my knees and was grateful

fell down on my knees and was grateful to clean toilets and scrub scrub floors

to clean toilets and scrub scrub floors

to clean toilets and scrub scrub floors you see when obstacles appear in your

you see when obstacles appear in your

you see when obstacles appear in your life that fear comes in your life the

life that fear comes in your life the

life that fear comes in your life the only way to overcome those obstacles and

only way to overcome those obstacles and

only way to overcome those obstacles and fear is to immerse yourself in gratitude

fear is to immerse yourself in gratitude

fear is to immerse yourself in gratitude be thankful for what you have if you

be thankful for what you have if you

be thankful for what you have if you want more out of life you have to be

want more out of life you have to be

want more out of life you have to be thankful for what you have already or

thankful for what you have already or

thankful for what you have already or you will not be rewarded and to this day

you will not be rewarded and to this day

you will not be rewarded and to this day I am thankful for all that I have and

I am thankful for all that I have and

I am thankful for all that I have and every opportunity that has been given to

every opportunity that has been given to

every opportunity that has been given to me now the third idea now this one is a

me now the third idea now this one is a

me now the third idea now this one is a little tricky this was a little harder

little tricky this was a little harder

little tricky this was a little harder to apply ok this is self-discipline

self-discipline controlling your

self-discipline controlling your emotions and staying positive in the

emotions and staying positive in the

emotions and staying positive in the face of negativity and adversity is the

face of negativity and adversity is the

face of negativity and adversity is the hardest thing a man or woman will ever

hardest thing a man or woman will ever

hardest thing a man or woman will ever do in his or her lifetime it is a

do in his or her lifetime it is a

do in his or her lifetime it is a neverending story it’s something you

neverending story it’s something you

neverending story it’s something you have to work on day in and day out after

have to work on day in and day out after

have to work on day in and day out after I graduated

I graduated

I graduated with my master’s degree incidentally by

with my master’s degree incidentally by

with my master’s degree incidentally by the way i graduated from the same

the way i graduated from the same

the way i graduated from the same universities which i used to scrub

universities which i used to scrub

universities which i used to scrub toilets at clean goes

and so I I wanted to start my own

and so I I wanted to start my own business and I know if I wanted to be

business and I know if I wanted to be

business and I know if I wanted to be successful in this business I was going

successful in this business I was going

successful in this business I was going to have to trade in lakh lakh for

to have to trade in lakh lakh for

to have to trade in lakh lakh for self-discipline and there is a quote by

self-discipline and there is a quote by

self-discipline and there is a quote by Tony cave and borrow that says being

Tony cave and borrow that says being

Tony cave and borrow that says being whole ain’t no trifling matter to walk

whole ain’t no trifling matter to walk

whole ain’t no trifling matter to walk around and feel like you’re a whole

around and feel like you’re a whole

around and feel like you’re a whole person a whole man-woman human being

person a whole man-woman human being

person a whole man-woman human being there are certain things you have to

there are certain things you have to

there are certain things you have to have in place to behold I had it whole

have in place to behold I had it whole

have in place to behold I had it whole and I resist the temptation every day to

and I resist the temptation every day to

and I resist the temptation every day to fill that hole up with superfluities and

fill that hole up with superfluities and

fill that hole up with superfluities and vices you have to fill it up with

vices you have to fill it up with

vices you have to fill it up with courage dignity purpose gratitude if you

courage dignity purpose gratitude if you

courage dignity purpose gratitude if you want to be whole and not have a whole

so after so after having the courage to

so after so after having the courage to move forward in life to be creative to

move forward in life to be creative to

move forward in life to be creative to be confident these are not only things

be confident these are not only things

be confident these are not only things that are powerful and will help you

that are powerful and will help you

that are powerful and will help you succeed in business but help you succeed

succeed in business but help you succeed

succeed in business but help you succeed in life as well what successful people

in life as well what successful people

in life as well what successful people know it’s this self-discipline is the

know it’s this self-discipline is the

know it’s this self-discipline is the key to achievement you can achieve your

key to achievement you can achieve your

key to achievement you can achieve your dreams if you are not discipline

dreams if you are not discipline

dreams if you are not discipline successful people have found a way to

successful people have found a way to

successful people have found a way to create a foundation set of goals and

create a foundation set of goals and

create a foundation set of goals and good habits to help them see this thing

good habits to help them see this thing

good habits to help them see this thing through there is an awesome awesome

through there is an awesome awesome

through there is an awesome awesome thing that happens when you apply

thing that happens when you apply

thing that happens when you apply purpose gratitude and self-discipline an

purpose gratitude and self-discipline an

purpose gratitude and self-discipline an important change takes place and

important change takes place and

important change takes place and understanding a change in inner standing

understanding a change in inner standing

understanding a change in inner standing takes place and this change and this

takes place and this change and this

takes place and this change and this shift is so awesome in its life changing

shift is so awesome in its life changing

shift is so awesome in its life changing I believe that’s what happened for those

I believe that’s what happened for those

I believe that’s what happened for those youth those incarcerated youth that I

youth those incarcerated youth that I

youth those incarcerated youth that I used to work with as a matter of fact I

used to work with as a matter of fact I

used to work with as a matter of fact I know it worked I still get calls cards

know it worked I still get calls cards

know it worked I still get calls cards texts emails and letters today updating

texts emails and letters today updating

texts emails and letters today updating me on their success now I’m not by any

me on their success now I’m not by any

me on their success now I’m not by any means naive to the fact that there is a

means naive to the fact that there is a

means naive to the fact that there is a lot of work that we all need to do if we

lot of work that we all need to do if we

lot of work that we all need to do if we want to see effective change in this

want to see effective change in this

want to see effective change in this world but I hope something today out of

world but I hope something today out of

world but I hope something today out of those three simple ideas that you can

those three simple ideas that you can

those three simple ideas that you can take with you to set yourself up and

take with you to set yourself up and

take with you to set yourself up and your family up for success from here on

your family up for success from here on

your family up for success from here on out and finally I challenge you

out and finally I challenge you

out and finally I challenge you I challenge you to go out and make life

I challenge you to go out and make life

I challenge you to go out and make life happen for you and not just let life

happen for you and not just let life

happen for you and not just let life happen to you

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] you