hi welcome to watchmojo.com I’m famous comedian John Hastings do you ever get
comedian John Hastings do you ever get
comedian John Hastings do you ever get awkward I get awkward I’ve been awkward
awkward I get awkward I’ve been awkward
awkward I get awkward I’ve been awkward most of my life awkwardness has given me
most of my life awkwardness has given me
most of my life awkwardness has given me a career as a famous comedian but let me
a career as a famous comedian but let me
a career as a famous comedian but let me offer you one piece of advice never try
offer you one piece of advice never try
offer you one piece of advice never try and explain your awkwardness to someone
and explain your awkwardness to someone
and explain your awkwardness to someone it never works for example last week I
it never works for example last week I
it never works for example last week I was with my friend Paul we were driving
was with my friend Paul we were driving
was with my friend Paul we were driving to get something to eat and as we pass
to get something to eat and as we pass
to get something to eat and as we pass the street I said hey I think I went to
the street I said hey I think I went to
the street I said hey I think I went to high school with that girl and I’m now a
high school with that girl and I’m now a
high school with that girl and I’m now a famous comedian I bet I can get her to
famous comedian I bet I can get her to
famous comedian I bet I can get her to ride my hog turn the corner so we turned
ride my hog turn the corner so we turned
ride my hog turn the corner so we turned the corner and I stare at her like this
the corner and I stare at her like this
the corner and I stare at her like this and I realized that’s not the girl so I
and I realized that’s not the girl so I
and I realized that’s not the girl so I say make the next right it’s Taco Time
say make the next right it’s Taco Time
say make the next right it’s Taco Time baby and as I said taco time baby my
baby and as I said taco time baby my
baby and as I said taco time baby my friend Paul turned to me and said man I
friend Paul turned to me and said man I
friend Paul turned to me and said man I bet you that girl thinks we’re rapists
bet you that girl thinks we’re rapists
bet you that girl thinks we’re rapists now I should explain at this point Paul
now I should explain at this point Paul
now I should explain at this point Paul is a metalhead he has hair down to here
is a metalhead he has hair down to here
is a metalhead he has hair down to here he is dressed in all leather that’s
he is dressed in all leather that’s
he is dressed in all leather that’s including pants jacket t-shirt and he
including pants jacket t-shirt and he
including pants jacket t-shirt and he has a nappy beer that he thinks makes
has a nappy beer that he thinks makes
has a nappy beer that he thinks makes him look like a Viking I am wearing a
him look like a Viking I am wearing a
him look like a Viking I am wearing a wife-beater camo shorts that are cut off
wife-beater camo shorts that are cut off
wife-beater camo shorts that are cut off at the knee and Crocs our creepo meter
at the knee and Crocs our creepo meter
at the knee and Crocs our creepo meter is high and of course we are driving in
is high and of course we are driving in
is high and of course we are driving in a white panel van so we turn back around
a white panel van so we turn back around
a white panel van so we turn back around we screech in front of her I roll down
we screech in front of her I roll down
we screech in front of her I roll down the window it’s old school I have to go
the window it’s old school I have to go
the window it’s old school I have to go like this and as soon as I do I say
like this and as soon as I do I say
like this and as soon as I do I say ma’am I know what you’re thinking and
ma’am I know what you’re thinking and
ma’am I know what you’re thinking and we’re not rapists and as soon as I say
we’re not rapists and as soon as I say
we’re not rapists and as soon as I say that I remember the only people who
that I remember the only people who
that I remember the only people who would say we’re not rapists are rapists
would say we’re not rapists are rapists
would say we’re not rapists are rapists so I say ma’am I know what you’re
so I say ma’am I know what you’re
so I say ma’am I know what you’re thinking you’re thinking that the only
thinking you’re thinking that the only
thinking you’re thinking that the only people would say they’re not rapists are
people would say they’re not rapists are
people would say they’re not rapists are rapists well I don’t want to rape you I
rapists well I don’t want to rape you I
rapists well I don’t want to rape you I don’t want to rape anyone I I’m not a
don’t want to rape anyone I I’m not a
don’t want to rape anyone I I’m not a rapist so that’s what you’re thinking I
rapist so that’s what you’re thinking I
rapist so that’s what you’re thinking I know it probably is now even if it
know it probably is now even if it
know it probably is now even if it wasn’t before not gonna rape you have a
wasn’t before not gonna rape you have a
wasn’t before not gonna rape you have a good day once again not a rapist and at
good day once again not a rapist and at
good day once again not a rapist and at this point just before my head explodes
this point just before my head explodes
this point just before my head explodes I realized she’s looking at
I realized she’s looking at
I realized she’s looking at me like I just pooed on her dead
me like I just pooed on her dead
me like I just pooed on her dead grandmother and I turned to my friend
grandmother and I turned to my friend
grandmother and I turned to my friend Paul and say let’s get out of here it’s
Paul and say let’s get out of here it’s
Paul and say let’s get out of here it’s a standard van the van stalls I spend
a standard van the van stalls I spend
a standard van the van stalls I spend the next two minutes staring awkwardly
the next two minutes staring awkwardly
the next two minutes staring awkwardly at this girl through the window mouthing
at this girl through the window mouthing
at this girl through the window mouthing the words not a rapist not a rapist for
the words not a rapist not a rapist for
the words not a rapist not a rapist for the Internet I’m John Hastings
”
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