because it is maternity and paternity
although they are these are events
very different is there a certain
similarity when we start to
talk about it and we get more and more
is placed in boxes and these
little boxes are saying a little the way
of how we should be
although we are not very different good
motherhood mothers have to Brendon
take care
mothers are magical because they
turn the time into 24 hours hard
more
they are the savior of supermoms and
parents are those who express fear and
weakness
are always the protectors the brave
the strong those who do not cry are
the funniest family heads
only this is not good for anyone
When we start putting the
people and motherhood and paternity in
We are labeling the
people and leaving them losing
opportunity to be more free when it is
we start thinking about it
about motherhood
we find that one plus one equals
to 3 that the logic of the mathematics of life
and in my case it was like this
This is my family, this is my milestone.
husband this is my son and drink
when we found ourselves pregnant
we decided to build this process
together and there on this journey
construction
we made a very
important in this process
We did not want to know the sex of our
baby and then we’ll get the first
problem because why
color of clothes I’m going to give your child or
for your daughter
It does, but what if it’s a boy and I
pink
What is the problem, and if it’s a boy and I?
should this of which the problem most boys
lusa the dress the gender identity
My son’s daughter will not go
be defined by the color of clothing he
uses
but this is a problem is a problem
for people then before my
son born
he already had a problem and an issue
and you have already stopped.
to think that a simple decision like
This is how we define what color
clothes we are going to give a baby can
define very meaningful things for
our life and here comes our second
decision
I got the opportunity and the
privilege to stay seven months
maternity leave and there is my husband
who is very much a father and in society
we live
the five days are sufficient for the
men understand what they are going to
to understand the whole life
And then you wonder why not men?
are prepared that the donate of caring
of the women in us and then you
thinking of what you can do with
five days
most wanted to be a father, I said
What a nice opportunity , there it is.
together we made the decision to leave
of work and stay a year of leave
paternity
cool, it’s beautiful
only that’s not how people
understood when we take this
decision I went back to work the
people were asking me that good
What is your son now with my husband?
but he had no one to leave him
So he ‘s with my husband, but
and it was not one or two or three
people
many people said that and there it is
interesting that we do not think anymore
active parenthood only has benefits
active parents are more likely to
train children to build processes
of sociability of children
to build safer children more
and less likely to have this
view of women places in places
of men
in the end it ‘s good for everything
the world because when parents can
building healthier relationships with
the family
they gain much more affection and much
more love
but if with all this because the
people with the continuums living it
when we make this decision a
Marco had many opportunities to leave
with modric and there was very interesting
what people on the street that we never
had seen in life felt in the right
to remove the modric from his lap because a
baby on a man’s lap is dangerous
Imagine a person I’ve never seen in
life
doing this or for example on the bus
he mentioned several situations of this
our kissing and showing affection with
modric our beautiful your daughter is not
my son not to be so such
thing is putting a
limitations and barriers where they do not
should exist because the 36 associates
to motherhood caring for care and home
are not associated with paternity and
at the same time the three
has associated with it are paterninade
principal provider and non-employer
are associated with motherhood and
people start teaching girls
that the girls are carers who
the girls have to be beautiful and the people
teaches the boys that they have to
be the boss that they have to be leaders
they have to be strong and at the same time
time people judge people by
other choices they made that
flee to these standards
so that I had stayed seven months of
maternity leave and is now
building back to my career
professional
but our denatures is because you
left his son alone
where it has already been seen and not only
people but as I often was
take with my own betrays
by my own thoughts
Thinking, shall I? I did the
right choices
Is that what I should have?
It must be that I should have
built a different path and should
spending more time with my son and
at the same time judging the milestones
choices he had made of staying in
home then come home to me
because you did it that way because it ‘s the
My way of doing there , do not you?
but why did not you do such a thing?
We complain that you did not do it there.
So, how should I have done?
Why are you asking me how I feel?
should have done
It’s never good because
same time we learn
macho behaviors and people
reproduces often without realizing it
not good for anyone is not good and
It is not good because it imprisons us
Instead of releasing it , it only started to
happen when we started to be
very clear and very open between us and
say the following I will not have to
I do not want to choose between being
mother and be a professional
and then I started to create
strategies in my work for
find ways to be closer
of my son
so what I decided to do together
because this is also a decision of
marry tall people
breastfeeding and the
are not processes
individual are processes that people
decide together and we decided together
which at least if modric I wish I would
increase up to two years
How do you do training until
two years when you travel 15 days
month
Good, then it’s good, then it’s going to happen.
to travel with me and modric for almost two
years traveled with me in all my
work trips
so what is interesting is ours
cool, right? Because this is taking your
nanny and there the milestone not because if I
I create processes where I have to expand
the number of people
This is making it difficult for me to go alone with
It’s so modest, and a very thing.
interesting is that I found a lot of
more people helping in the cities where
I came up with the barriers that the
You always think or is seeking his
I work with the very heavy theme I
work and coping with violence
against women
I work with people who often
are institutions where violence is
legitimized and I was never afraid to
take rodrigo in these spaces
then spaces with institutions
police meetings with ministers of
status because if I can not get
this opportunity to build relations where
the child can live
we are doing something about
very wrong and this was very cool was
simple
absolutely not well accepted
normally
now people are asking me why
You decided to do this because you
decided to expose his son since
he did not have a chance to say that he
I could say no, no, why did you do it?
I did it because I think I believe
so much that the more you have chance
to promote transformations
the greater is your responsibility
I held and still hold a position of
management and this gives me the chance to
question some models because I know
that somehow you heard because
I know that most women
you have no chance to do this because I
I know that if I do not bring this
possibility maybe other women
can not create because I believe that
stories change stories and when I
a story to my story I help
influence other mothers and fathers to
different relationships and it is
This is what I believe I believe the
people can build is not
simple but it is important and this
It happens institutional changes such as
case of the companies, the case is
organizations do not happen by
a definition of the institution who
makes changes are people and this is
an important thing to think about and
here is an example that I bring to show
the power that this has the following this
year the institute of economic research
applied research on
employability of women and men and
increased incidence of violence
domestic and then an interesting thing
that they found that the following
the more women go to
world of work is the incidence of
of domestic violence
Until then, nothing new.
Why did we build it?
models where men are heads
this place is not for women and if
women come to occupy this place
our society and men are not
prepared to deal with this world and
there is often a way to deal with
this is the form of violence
now a very interesting thing is the
following the increase in unemployment in
men
different from what people imagine
reduces domestic violence because it
there the hypotheses that this research
lifted
is that when man has the
possibility and the need to live
other types of masculinities that is
beneficial for everyone
when man does not have the power of
money that is the power that causes
he uses violence against women
it builds over time new
ways of exercising this masculinity and
he leaves those little boxes that say
where men have to be and where the
women have what it is and when that
happens
everybody now gets the big question
it’s the following if this is good
if we only have benefits doing this
because we still can not
change the way companies and how
organizations structure their model
because they break paradigms and
build new models is super
important everyone wins
It’s not easy, it’s expensive and it’s
costly for the first
people who decide to make these breaks
paradigm
This is very important and it is
one and each of us think like the
people can do it in our lives
rethink all all
behaviors that we reproduce and
often reproduce, do not
ask why we do things
this way so that we can
construct new models and once the
people do it in our lives
It’s important that we can do it.
this to others and you can say
good how did we start
continued this journey I keep fighting
the end of violence against
women against visible violence and
invisible
the milestone goes with this experience and
taking this so that other men
can be released
in this model of masculinity that
imprisoned instead of bringing us
happiness and modric
teaching every day
and we’re left wondering what the
most important thing that people
need to teach him is not that he
has to be strong is that it has to be
caring and sensitive and vulnerable
because vulnerable
people think being vulnerable is to be
weak and in fact being vulnerable is
being creative is being transformative is
be able to deal with what you have to
easier for more difficulty
This is our role and now I do not
marco and modric
we followed our journey with one more
new member is the family member and now
linked
You will learn and learn to
build this new journey of another
way
thank you guys
[Applause]
edan
”
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