if I asked you to think of a confident person what comes to mind is it someone
person what comes to mind is it someone
person what comes to mind is it someone who is successful someone who has a lot
who is successful someone who has a lot
who is successful someone who has a lot of achievements or maybe somebody who’s
of achievements or maybe somebody who’s
of achievements or maybe somebody who’s dressed impeccably nice well there’s a
dressed impeccably nice well there’s a
dressed impeccably nice well there’s a group of people that probably didn’t
group of people that probably didn’t
group of people that probably didn’t cross your minds they don’t have a lot
cross your minds they don’t have a lot
cross your minds they don’t have a lot of achievements and they’re not very
of achievements and they’re not very
of achievements and they’re not very successful at all and they definitely
successful at all and they definitely
successful at all and they definitely not dressed very nicely most of the time
not dressed very nicely most of the time
not dressed very nicely most of the time and that’s little children so I see this
and that’s little children so I see this
and that’s little children so I see this little five-year-old girl who’s running
little five-year-old girl who’s running
little five-year-old girl who’s running around with a sweater tied around her
around with a sweater tied around her
around with a sweater tied around her neck like it’s a cape and she tells me
neck like it’s a cape and she tells me
neck like it’s a cape and she tells me I’m a superhero and I asked her what
I’m a superhero and I asked her what
I’m a superhero and I asked her what what makes you a superhero and she looks
what makes you a superhero and she looks
what makes you a superhero and she looks to me like it was the dumbest question
to me like it was the dumbest question
to me like it was the dumbest question she’s ever heard she’s like nothing I
she’s ever heard she’s like nothing I
she’s ever heard she’s like nothing I just am one this little girl was a
just am one this little girl was a
just am one this little girl was a hundred percent confident in her she was
hundred percent confident in her she was
hundred percent confident in her she was she didn’t need any external validation
she didn’t need any external validation
she didn’t need any external validation she need anybody to endorse her didn’t
she need anybody to endorse her didn’t
she need anybody to endorse her didn’t need a badge or certificate in fact she
need a badge or certificate in fact she
need a badge or certificate in fact she didn’t care what anybody thought of her
didn’t care what anybody thought of her
didn’t care what anybody thought of her she was confident and I thought point I
she was confident and I thought point I
she was confident and I thought point I was like man I want to be like her and
was like man I want to be like her and
was like man I want to be like her and then I thought you know what I used to
then I thought you know what I used to
then I thought you know what I used to be like this little girl and so did you
be like this little girl and so did you
be like this little girl and so did you we all did we all used to be a hundred
we all did we all used to be a hundred
we all did we all used to be a hundred percent confident in who we were but
percent confident in who we were but
percent confident in who we were but then we started to lose it and you know
then we started to lose it and you know
then we started to lose it and you know by the time I was 16 I know only lost
by the time I was 16 I know only lost
by the time I was 16 I know only lost that cape I lost all my confidence and I
that cape I lost all my confidence and I
that cape I lost all my confidence and I felt like I was always so worried about
felt like I was always so worried about
felt like I was always so worried about what everybody was thinking of me I was
what everybody was thinking of me I was
what everybody was thinking of me I was afraid to do things because I didn’t
afraid to do things because I didn’t
afraid to do things because I didn’t want to fail and I was scared of what
want to fail and I was scared of what
want to fail and I was scared of what you know people find out that I’m just
you know people find out that I’m just
you know people find out that I’m just not good enough so why did that happen
not good enough so why did that happen
not good enough so why did that happen whether that happened to me to you and
whether that happened to me to you and
whether that happened to me to you and to so many of the young people that I
to so many of the young people that I
to so many of the young people that I see in the counseling room
you know as we growing up we encounter a
you know as we growing up we encounter a lot of crappy things right his rejection
lot of crappy things right his rejection
lot of crappy things right his rejection embarrassment we got made fun off people
embarrassment we got made fun off people
embarrassment we got made fun off people tell us no we can’t we get laughed at
tell us no we can’t we get laughed at
tell us no we can’t we get laughed at for no other reason just because we’re
for no other reason just because we’re
for no other reason just because we’re different we get judged just because we
different we get judged just because we
different we get judged just because we have a different opinion or maybe
have a different opinion or maybe
have a different opinion or maybe someone yelled at us because they had a
someone yelled at us because they had a
someone yelled at us because they had a bad day and it wasn’t like it was
bad day and it wasn’t like it was
bad day and it wasn’t like it was anything that we did wrong or anything
anything that we did wrong or anything
anything that we did wrong or anything that wasn’t bad about us but somehow
that wasn’t bad about us but somehow
that wasn’t bad about us but somehow that was what we started thinking that
that was what we started thinking that
that was what we started thinking that there was something bad about us what
there was something bad about us what
there was something bad about us what happens is what I call the misguided
happens is what I call the misguided
happens is what I call the misguided blame you see when our brain encounters
blame you see when our brain encounters
blame you see when our brain encounters uncertainty doesn’t know what what’s
uncertainty doesn’t know what what’s
uncertainty doesn’t know what what’s happening doesn’t know how to explain it
happening doesn’t know how to explain it
happening doesn’t know how to explain it you know maybe someone’s laughing at us
you know maybe someone’s laughing at us
you know maybe someone’s laughing at us and we don’t know why someone over there
and we don’t know why someone over there
and we don’t know why someone over there is giving us a weird look and I don’t
is giving us a weird look and I don’t
is giving us a weird look and I don’t know why and so our brain wants to find
know why and so our brain wants to find
know why and so our brain wants to find an answer this is what it does is I
an answer this is what it does is I
an answer this is what it does is I point his finger at us and it says I
point his finger at us and it says I
point his finger at us and it says I don’t know what’s going on but this is
don’t know what’s going on but this is
don’t know what’s going on but this is totally your fault
totally your fault
totally your fault and so were you standing there like what
and so were you standing there like what
and so were you standing there like what me and we don’t know how to explain it
me and we don’t know how to explain it
me and we don’t know how to explain it and so we think yeah maybe it is me
and so we think yeah maybe it is me
and so we think yeah maybe it is me maybe there is something wrong with me
maybe there is something wrong with me
maybe there is something wrong with me and so we start feeling uncertain and we
and so we start feeling uncertain and we
and so we start feeling uncertain and we unsure and then our confidence just
unsure and then our confidence just
unsure and then our confidence just drops and then we start looking to
drops and then we start looking to
drops and then we start looking to outside for validation to tell us that
outside for validation to tell us that
outside for validation to tell us that you know maybe we’re not that bad we
you know maybe we’re not that bad we
you know maybe we’re not that bad we look at what others are doing and we
look at what others are doing and we
look at what others are doing and we think maybe I should talk like them
think maybe I should talk like them
think maybe I should talk like them maybe I should dress like them and act
maybe I should dress like them and act
maybe I should dress like them and act like them and then we move further from
like them and then we move further from
like them and then we move further from who we actually are but no matter how
who we actually are but no matter how
who we actually are but no matter how hard we try to change ourselves or who
hard we try to change ourselves or who
hard we try to change ourselves or who we become we still worry we continue to
we become we still worry we continue to
we become we still worry we continue to worry about what others are gonna think
worry about what others are gonna think
worry about what others are gonna think about us and we think am I gonna be
about us and we think am I gonna be
about us and we think am I gonna be judged and then the biggest question is
judged and then the biggest question is
judged and then the biggest question is what if everybody can see all the things
what if everybody can see all the things
what if everybody can see all the things that are wrong with me
now I know that you know this story is a
now I know that you know this story is a little bit bleak but there with me it
little bit bleak but there with me it
little bit bleak but there with me it gets better because today I found my
gets better because today I found my
gets better because today I found my Cape again and I want to share with all
Cape again and I want to share with all
Cape again and I want to share with all of you something that you can do to
of you something that you can do to
of you something that you can do to start feeling more confident in
start feeling more confident in
start feeling more confident in yourselves again it is gonna be hard
yourselves again it is gonna be hard
yourselves again it is gonna be hard work because we know that being
work because we know that being
work because we know that being superheroes is not easy right so it’s
superheroes is not easy right so it’s
superheroes is not easy right so it’s gonna take a bit of effort from you guys
gonna take a bit of effort from you guys
gonna take a bit of effort from you guys and the reason is that you know in our
and the reason is that you know in our
and the reason is that you know in our society there’s a lot of voices that are
society there’s a lot of voices that are
society there’s a lot of voices that are already telling us no it tells you can’t
already telling us no it tells you can’t
already telling us no it tells you can’t tell us you’re not good enough maybe it
tell us you’re not good enough maybe it
tell us you’re not good enough maybe it was your parents maybe your teachers
was your parents maybe your teachers
was your parents maybe your teachers maybe was your peers
maybe was your peers
maybe was your peers maybe someone posts a nasty comment
maybe someone posts a nasty comment
maybe someone posts a nasty comment about you on Instagram or maybe a friend
about you on Instagram or maybe a friend
about you on Instagram or maybe a friend tagged a really bad photo of your
tagged a really bad photo of your
tagged a really bad photo of your Facebook right these things happen and
Facebook right these things happen and
Facebook right these things happen and they start to seemingly attack us all
they start to seemingly attack us all
they start to seemingly attack us all the time telling us that we’re not that
the time telling us that we’re not that
the time telling us that we’re not that good but there is one voice that you can
good but there is one voice that you can
good but there is one voice that you can change and if you’re like most people
change and if you’re like most people
change and if you’re like most people this voice is the loudest one of all as
this voice is the loudest one of all as
this voice is the loudest one of all as well and that is your voice right I
well and that is your voice right I
well and that is your voice right I shouldn’t have said that
shouldn’t have said that
shouldn’t have said that I shouldn’t have done that oh you know
I shouldn’t have done that oh you know
I shouldn’t have done that oh you know when I introduced myself I stuttered and
when I introduced myself I stuttered and
when I introduced myself I stuttered and I’m such an idiot
I’m such an idiot
I’m such an idiot I suck I messed up I’m a loser and that
I suck I messed up I’m a loser and that
I suck I messed up I’m a loser and that is our own voice talking to us every
is our own voice talking to us every
is our own voice talking to us every single day and you know we talk to
single day and you know we talk to
single day and you know we talk to ourselves more than anybody else talks
ourselves more than anybody else talks
ourselves more than anybody else talks to us and in the society where there’s
to us and in the society where there’s
to us and in the society where there’s already so many voices telling us no why
already so many voices telling us no why
already so many voices telling us no why would we still talk to ourselves that
would we still talk to ourselves that
would we still talk to ourselves that way so we got to root for ourselves we
way so we got to root for ourselves we
way so we got to root for ourselves we got to stick up for us and change that
got to stick up for us and change that
got to stick up for us and change that one voice how we talk to ourselves so I
one voice how we talk to ourselves so I
one voice how we talk to ourselves so I want you guys all to do this exercise
want you guys all to do this exercise
want you guys all to do this exercise with me I’m changing our voice and
with me I’m changing our voice and
with me I’m changing our voice and making it more kind and supportive
making it more kind and supportive
making it more kind and supportive some of you guys look scared it’s okay
some of you guys look scared it’s okay
some of you guys look scared it’s okay let’s go sit up straight straight into
let’s go sit up straight straight into
let’s go sit up straight straight into posture and take a deep breath in and
and for most of you might notice that
and for most of you might notice that your neck is really stiff and that you
your neck is really stiff and that you
your neck is really stiff and that you probably haven’t breathed all day now I
probably haven’t breathed all day now I
probably haven’t breathed all day now I want you to smile and now think of one
want you to smile and now think of one
want you to smile and now think of one good moment from your day where you felt
good moment from your day where you felt
good moment from your day where you felt good about yourself today they’re there
good about yourself today they’re there
good about yourself today they’re there the good moments are there today and I
the good moments are there today and I
the good moments are there today and I see a lot of blank faces so don’t worry
see a lot of blank faces so don’t worry
see a lot of blank faces so don’t worry I’ve got you covered
I’ve got you covered
I’ve got you covered let me give you a few examples so you
let me give you a few examples so you
let me give you a few examples so you know kick-start your thinking process
know kick-start your thinking process
know kick-start your thinking process because when we talk about feeling good
because when we talk about feeling good
because when we talk about feeling good moments we all kind of like what does
moments we all kind of like what does
moments we all kind of like what does that mean right because we’re so used to
that mean right because we’re so used to
that mean right because we’re so used to thinking of all the things that are
thinking of all the things that are
thinking of all the things that are wrong with us
wrong with us
wrong with us we hardly ever think of the stuff that
we hardly ever think of the stuff that
we hardly ever think of the stuff that is good so maybe some examples are maybe
is good so maybe some examples are maybe
is good so maybe some examples are maybe you woke up this morning you know the
you woke up this morning you know the
you woke up this morning you know the Sun was shining brightly and he is felt
Sun was shining brightly and he is felt
Sun was shining brightly and he is felt good maybe you made a really funny joke
good maybe you made a really funny joke
good maybe you made a really funny joke and you thought you were so witty and
and you thought you were so witty and
and you thought you were so witty and clever maybe you figured out something
clever maybe you figured out something
clever maybe you figured out something that you were stuck on for ages you felt
that you were stuck on for ages you felt
that you were stuck on for ages you felt smart or maybe it was you know you won’t
smart or maybe it was you know you won’t
smart or maybe it was you know you won’t past your reflection you slow yourself
past your reflection you slow yourself
past your reflection you slow yourself and you’re like man I look good so
and you’re like man I look good so
and you’re like man I look good so whatever it was a moment in your day
whatever it was a moment in your day
whatever it was a moment in your day where you felt good okay so now that I
where you felt good okay so now that I
where you felt good okay so now that I gave you some examples they try it again
gave you some examples they try it again
gave you some examples they try it again so I’ll sit up straight you know stretch
so I’ll sit up straight you know stretch
so I’ll sit up straight you know stretch out back out and take a deep breath in
out back out and take a deep breath in
out back out and take a deep breath in and then slowly out doesn’t that already
and then slowly out doesn’t that already
and then slowly out doesn’t that already feel good and then we smile and then we
feel good and then we smile and then we
feel good and then we smile and then we think of our good moment and then the
think of our good moment and then the
think of our good moment and then the next step is I want you to do is to let
next step is I want you to do is to let
next step is I want you to do is to let yourself feel that good moment just a
yourself feel that good moment just a
yourself feel that good moment just a little bit longer now what does that
little bit longer now what does that
little bit longer now what does that mean so for example let’s take mine
mean so for example let’s take mine
mean so for example let’s take mine right so I was like okay I woke up this
right so I was like okay I woke up this
right so I was like okay I woke up this morning and the Sun was coming to my
morning and the Sun was coming to my
morning and the Sun was coming to my window and I was like
window and I was like
window and I was like this is awesome and then very quickly
this is awesome and then very quickly
this is awesome and then very quickly ice all the time and I was like oh crap
ice all the time and I was like oh crap
ice all the time and I was like oh crap is so late I gotta go I gotta hurry up
is so late I gotta go I gotta hurry up
is so late I gotta go I gotta hurry up and then I started thinking man I still
and then I started thinking man I still
and then I started thinking man I still got so much stuff to do and I haven’t
got so much stuff to do and I haven’t
got so much stuff to do and I haven’t even practiced my tech-talk properly and
even practiced my tech-talk properly and
even practiced my tech-talk properly and then I’m thinking oh I need to hurry up
then I’m thinking oh I need to hurry up
then I’m thinking oh I need to hurry up and you get ready all these thoughts so
and you get ready all these thoughts so
and you get ready all these thoughts so you can see very quickly that might feel
you can see very quickly that might feel
you can see very quickly that might feel good moment started going down and I was
good moment started going down and I was
good moment started going down and I was nervous I was stressed out and then I
nervous I was stressed out and then I
nervous I was stressed out and then I was feeling guilty as well so that’s why
was feeling guilty as well so that’s why
was feeling guilty as well so that’s why I say try to let yourself feel there
I say try to let yourself feel there
I say try to let yourself feel there stay there a little bit longer when
stay there a little bit longer when
stay there a little bit longer when you’re feeling good okay so now you all
you’re feeling good okay so now you all
you’re feeling good okay so now you all know the drill
know the drill
know the drill let’s do this one final time okay so
let’s do this one final time okay so
let’s do this one final time okay so when you all to sit up straight again
when you all to sit up straight again
when you all to sit up straight again you know the process take a deep breath
you know the process take a deep breath
you know the process take a deep breath in and then slowly out and then you
in and then slowly out and then you
in and then slowly out and then you smile and then we think of a good moment
smile and then we think of a good moment
smile and then we think of a good moment for the day and then we let ourselves
for the day and then we let ourselves
for the day and then we let ourselves feel good just a little bit longer and
feel good just a little bit longer and
feel good just a little bit longer and that’s it does not feel good already and
that’s it does not feel good already and
that’s it does not feel good already and this is just one simple exercise that
this is just one simple exercise that
this is just one simple exercise that you can do every day and if you do this
you can do every day and if you do this
you can do every day and if you do this once a day I promise you things are
once a day I promise you things are
once a day I promise you things are gonna change
gonna change
gonna change you’re gonna stop finding that you
you’re gonna stop finding that you
you’re gonna stop finding that you noticed these grit moments a lot more
noticed these grit moments a lot more
noticed these grit moments a lot more you catch them you start thinking hey
you catch them you start thinking hey
you catch them you start thinking hey you know I was kind I was caring that
you know I was kind I was caring that
you know I was kind I was caring that was nice today I was smart I was funny
was nice today I was smart I was funny
was nice today I was smart I was funny I’m a good person and then the next
I’m a good person and then the next
I’m a good person and then the next thing that happens is that you start to
thing that happens is that you start to
thing that happens is that you start to feel good for longer you know that boys
feel good for longer you know that boys
feel good for longer you know that boys that immediately jumps in to dismiss you
that immediately jumps in to dismiss you
that immediately jumps in to dismiss you the talks about all the stress and
the talks about all the stress and
the talks about all the stress and anxiety remind you all the things that
anxiety remind you all the things that
anxiety remind you all the things that you don’t want to hear that point stays
you don’t want to hear that point stays
you don’t want to hear that point stays away for longer and then it just becomes
away for longer and then it just becomes
away for longer and then it just becomes more natural to do this exercise and it
more natural to do this exercise and it
more natural to do this exercise and it doesn’t even become an exercise anymore
doesn’t even become an exercise anymore
doesn’t even become an exercise anymore it just happens and we just naturally
it just happens and we just naturally
it just happens and we just naturally see the good stuff in us and then the
see the good stuff in us and then the
see the good stuff in us and then the most amazing change happens is that our
most amazing change happens is that our
most amazing change happens is that our voice that’s talking to us all the time
voice that’s talking to us all the time
voice that’s talking to us all the time it’s now kinder more supportive and more
it’s now kinder more supportive and more
it’s now kinder more supportive and more encouraging instead of it telling us
encouraging instead of it telling us
encouraging instead of it telling us that we’re not good enough that we can’t
that we’re not good enough that we can’t
that we’re not good enough that we can’t do this or that we’re gonna fail it’s
do this or that we’re gonna fail it’s
do this or that we’re gonna fail it’s not rooting for us and it says go on you
not rooting for us and it says go on you
not rooting for us and it says go on you can do it you’re a good person you’re
can do it you’re a good person you’re
can do it you’re a good person you’re trusting yourself just one simple
trusting yourself just one simple
trusting yourself just one simple exercise and it starts with you and you
exercise and it starts with you and you
exercise and it starts with you and you can start today so to all of you who are
can start today so to all of you who are
can start today so to all of you who are sitting out here who may be worried
sitting out here who may be worried
sitting out here who may be worried about what others thinking of you and
about what others thinking of you and
about what others thinking of you and who are afraid to fully be yourself give
who are afraid to fully be yourself give
who are afraid to fully be yourself give this a try and go put your capes back on
”
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