[Music] when my first son was born in 16 years
when my first son was born in 16 years
when my first son was born in 16 years ago I held him in my arms and vowed to
ago I held him in my arms and vowed to
ago I held him in my arms and vowed to protect him I thought I knew everything
protect him I thought I knew everything
protect him I thought I knew everything there is to know about how to protect a
there is to know about how to protect a
there is to know about how to protect a child I knew of course I wouldn’t get
child I knew of course I wouldn’t get
child I knew of course I wouldn’t get everything right but our culture gives
everything right but our culture gives
everything right but our culture gives us a very clear message about what we’re
us a very clear message about what we’re
us a very clear message about what we’re supposed to do to keep our children safe
supposed to do to keep our children safe
supposed to do to keep our children safe but in my years of researching parenting
but in my years of researching parenting
but in my years of researching parenting around the globe and my experience with
around the globe and my experience with
around the globe and my experience with raising four children both in the United
raising four children both in the United
raising four children both in the United States and abroad I’ve learned that
States and abroad I’ve learned that
States and abroad I’ve learned that there’s actually a gap between what we
there’s actually a gap between what we
there’s actually a gap between what we think we should do to protect our
think we should do to protect our
think we should do to protect our children and what actually helps them to
children and what actually helps them to
children and what actually helps them to thrive one of the things parents
thrive one of the things parents
thrive one of the things parents everywhere do is try to protect their
everywhere do is try to protect their
everywhere do is try to protect their children’s physical safety when you have
children’s physical safety when you have
children’s physical safety when you have a baby that’s pretty easy you feed the
a baby that’s pretty easy you feed the
a baby that’s pretty easy you feed the baby you dress them for the weather as
baby you dress them for the weather as
baby you dress them for the weather as they get older you make sure they’re not
they get older you make sure they’re not
they get older you make sure they’re not going to fall in the toilet or swallow
going to fall in the toilet or swallow
going to fall in the toilet or swallow cleaning fluid but how long we supposed
cleaning fluid but how long we supposed
cleaning fluid but how long we supposed to keep this up well in this culture at
to keep this up well in this culture at
to keep this up well in this culture at least if you don’t keep it up to some
least if you don’t keep it up to some
least if you don’t keep it up to some extent throughout their childhood you’re
extent throughout their childhood you’re
extent throughout their childhood you’re seen as a pretty negligent parent and
seen as a pretty negligent parent and
seen as a pretty negligent parent and somebody might even call Child
somebody might even call Child
somebody might even call Child Protective Services on you that’s why I
Protective Services on you that’s why I
Protective Services on you that’s why I was surprised when I moved abroad with
was surprised when I moved abroad with
was surprised when I moved abroad with my family to Japan put my son’s in a
my family to Japan put my son’s in a
my family to Japan put my son’s in a preschool there and went to visit it for
preschool there and went to visit it for
preschool there and went to visit it for the first time there I saw children
the first time there I saw children
the first time there I saw children running wild I saw them waving sticks
running wild I saw them waving sticks
running wild I saw them waving sticks around digging in the dirt with heavy
around digging in the dirt with heavy
around digging in the dirt with heavy metal shovels that they could poke
metal shovels that they could poke
metal shovels that they could poke someone’s eye out with and more than
someone’s eye out with and more than
someone’s eye out with and more than that I saw the teachers looking utterly
that I saw the teachers looking utterly
that I saw the teachers looking utterly unconcerned I didn’t hear them say stop
unconcerned I didn’t hear them say stop
unconcerned I didn’t hear them say stop that or be careful there was nothing
that or be careful there was nothing
that or be careful there was nothing like that at all moreover when these
like that at all moreover when these
like that at all moreover when these kids were six or seven my children are
kids were six or seven my children are
kids were six or seven my children are including this group I’d see them
including this group I’d see them
including this group I’d see them walking to school on their own taking
walking to school on their own taking
walking to school on their own taking buses and subways on their own of course
buses and subways on their own of course
buses and subways on their own of course in my mind just looked like negligent
in my mind just looked like negligent
in my mind just looked like negligent parenting because where I come from I’ve
parenting because where I come from I’ve
parenting because where I come from I’ve been socialized to believe part of
been socialized to believe part of
been socialized to believe part of keeping your children safe is keeping a
keeping your children safe is keeping a
keeping your children safe is keeping a close eye on them physically keeping
close eye on them physically keeping
close eye on them physically keeping them nearby I know a mother named
them nearby I know a mother named
them nearby I know a mother named Brittany who like me is an American
Brittany who like me is an American
Brittany who like me is an American mother she moved abroad she moved to
mother she moved abroad she moved to
mother she moved abroad she moved to Sweden and she liked me put her children
Sweden and she liked me put her children
Sweden and she liked me put her children in a local
in a local
in a local preschool there the first time that she
preschool there the first time that she
preschool there the first time that she went see that preschool she saw three
went see that preschool she saw three
went see that preschool she saw three year olds racing up and down the street
year olds racing up and down the street
year olds racing up and down the street on bicycles climbing high trees and
on bicycles climbing high trees and
on bicycles climbing high trees and climbing on Playhouse roofs without any
climbing on Playhouse roofs without any
climbing on Playhouse roofs without any adult supervision the first time she saw
adult supervision the first time she saw
adult supervision the first time she saw a three-year-old high up in a tree she
a three-year-old high up in a tree she
a three-year-old high up in a tree she started for the teacher to let her know
started for the teacher to let her know
started for the teacher to let her know and then she saw another parent stop and
and then she saw another parent stop and
and then she saw another parent stop and talk to that child in the tree utterly
talk to that child in the tree utterly
talk to that child in the tree utterly unconcerned clearly nobody but Brittany
unconcerned clearly nobody but Brittany
unconcerned clearly nobody but Brittany was phased by this I think of myself as
was phased by this I think of myself as
was phased by this I think of myself as an open-minded parent she told me and
an open-minded parent she told me and
an open-minded parent she told me and yet here i was wanting to tell a child
yet here i was wanting to tell a child
yet here i was wanting to tell a child to come down from a tree I’ve visited
to come down from a tree I’ve visited
to come down from a tree I’ve visited Germany I’ve got to see forest
Germany I’ve got to see forest
Germany I’ve got to see forest kindergarten stare in my research a
kindergarten stare in my research a
kindergarten stare in my research a forest kindergarten is a classroom is a
forest kindergarten is a classroom is a
forest kindergarten is a classroom is a as a as a kindergarten that’s held
as a as a kindergarten that’s held
as a as a kindergarten that’s held outside there’s no classroom the forest
outside there’s no classroom the forest
outside there’s no classroom the forest is the classroom so I shouldn’t have
is the classroom so I shouldn’t have
is the classroom so I shouldn’t have been so surprised but I was when I was
been so surprised but I was when I was
been so surprised but I was when I was walking along in the woods and I saw a
walking along in the woods and I saw a
walking along in the woods and I saw a little kid about four years old sitting
little kid about four years old sitting
little kid about four years old sitting on a log he had a big piece of wood in
on a log he had a big piece of wood in
on a log he had a big piece of wood in one hand and a pretty big looking knife
one hand and a pretty big looking knife
one hand and a pretty big looking knife in the other when I raised this with his
in the other when I raised this with his
in the other when I raised this with his teacher wolf dog he lightheartedly
teacher wolf dog he lightheartedly
teacher wolf dog he lightheartedly dismissed me my concerns with a wave oh
dismissed me my concerns with a wave oh
dismissed me my concerns with a wave oh no one’s ever lost a finger he told me
no one’s ever lost a finger he told me
no one’s ever lost a finger he told me so parents everywhere do things
so parents everywhere do things
so parents everywhere do things differently in all cultures this isn’t
differently in all cultures this isn’t
differently in all cultures this isn’t the surprise we know this but could one
the surprise we know this but could one
the surprise we know this but could one wave keep children safer than others to
wave keep children safer than others to
wave keep children safer than others to answer this I talked with Ellen Hansen
answer this I talked with Ellen Hansen
answer this I talked with Ellen Hansen Sam Sutter she’s a researcher in Norway
Sam Sutter she’s a researcher in Norway
Sam Sutter she’s a researcher in Norway and she told me that the relaxed
and she told me that the relaxed
and she told me that the relaxed approach to risk taking and safety
approach to risk taking and safety
approach to risk taking and safety actually helps keep our children safer
actually helps keep our children safer
actually helps keep our children safer and that’s because it helps them hone
and that’s because it helps them hone
and that’s because it helps them hone their judgment about what they are and
their judgment about what they are and
their judgment about what they are and are not capable of you’ve probably
are not capable of you’ve probably
are not capable of you’ve probably noticed that children are drawn to
noticed that children are drawn to
noticed that children are drawn to things that we adults fear high places
things that we adults fear high places
things that we adults fear high places wandering far off dangerous sharp tools
wandering far off dangerous sharp tools
wandering far off dangerous sharp tools we see this and our instinct naturally
we see this and our instinct naturally
we see this and our instinct naturally is to protect them and keep them close
is to protect them and keep them close
is to protect them and keep them close and chop with their lives away but it’s
and chop with their lives away but it’s
and chop with their lives away but it’s different in Norway here as a senator
different in Norway here as a senator
different in Norway here as a senator told me we have a notion that children
told me we have a notion that children
told me we have a notion that children have to freeze a bit you have to go
have to freeze a bit you have to go
have to freeze a bit you have to go hungry they have to
hungry they have to
hungry they have to learn how to manage all this cold snow
learn how to manage all this cold snow
learn how to manage all this cold snow that we have here it’s a toughening
that we have here it’s a toughening
that we have here it’s a toughening notion and I think toughening is not
notion and I think toughening is not
notion and I think toughening is not exactly what we think of when we think
exactly what we think of when we think
exactly what we think of when we think of protecting our children since we tend
of protecting our children since we tend
of protecting our children since we tend to see them more as vulnerable than
to see them more as vulnerable than
to see them more as vulnerable than resilient but has better told me about a
resilient but has better told me about a
resilient but has better told me about a concept called surplus safety and that’s
concept called surplus safety and that’s
concept called surplus safety and that’s what happens when you’re so preoccupied
what happens when you’re so preoccupied
what happens when you’re so preoccupied with certain risks that you perceive
with certain risks that you perceive
with certain risks that you perceive such as the risk of your child falling
such as the risk of your child falling
such as the risk of your child falling down from a jungle gym even breaking an
down from a jungle gym even breaking an
down from a jungle gym even breaking an arm as opposed and so when you are
arm as opposed and so when you are
arm as opposed and so when you are focused on those risks you actually
focused on those risks you actually
focused on those risks you actually expose them to greater risks such as the
expose them to greater risks such as the
expose them to greater risks such as the very real health risk of obesity from
very real health risk of obesity from
very real health risk of obesity from too much indoor sedentary play the
too much indoor sedentary play the
too much indoor sedentary play the greatest safety precaution that you can
greatest safety precaution that you can
greatest safety precaution that you can give a child she told me is to let him
give a child she told me is to let him
give a child she told me is to let him take risks it’s a lot more dangerous to
take risks it’s a lot more dangerous to
take risks it’s a lot more dangerous to let a 10 or 15 year-old loose in the
let a 10 or 15 year-old loose in the
let a 10 or 15 year-old loose in the world who’s never had the chance to hone
world who’s never had the chance to hone
world who’s never had the chance to hone his judgment about what he can do and
his judgment about what he can do and
his judgment about what he can do and has always had adults around him telling
has always had adults around him telling
has always had adults around him telling him what’s safe and what’s not safe so
him what’s safe and what’s not safe so
him what’s safe and what’s not safe so by now you might be coming a bit on
by now you might be coming a bit on
by now you might be coming a bit on board with the idea that there are
board with the idea that there are
board with the idea that there are things we could rethink when it comes to
things we could rethink when it comes to
things we could rethink when it comes to how we physically protect our children
how we physically protect our children
how we physically protect our children but what about when it comes to their
but what about when it comes to their
but what about when it comes to their emotional and social well-being there
emotional and social well-being there
emotional and social well-being there are two there’s a script a very clear
are two there’s a script a very clear
are two there’s a script a very clear cultural message about what we should do
cultural message about what we should do
cultural message about what we should do we help them learn we help them learn
we help them learn we help them learn
we help them learn we help them learn how to share with our classmates we help
how to share with our classmates we help
how to share with our classmates we help them get through little disagreements
them get through little disagreements
them get through little disagreements oversee their play dates we help them
oversee their play dates we help them
oversee their play dates we help them use their words and not fight etc but I
use their words and not fight etc but I
use their words and not fight etc but I was in Japan again with my children and
was in Japan again with my children and
was in Japan again with my children and they were on a playdate at a park and so
they were on a playdate at a park and so
they were on a playdate at a park and so from afar I saw some of them starting to
from afar I saw some of them starting to
from afar I saw some of them starting to get into a scuffle of course I got to my
get into a scuffle of course I got to my
get into a scuffle of course I got to my feet to get up and sort of help them
feet to get up and sort of help them
feet to get up and sort of help them work it out this time though my Japanese
work it out this time though my Japanese
work it out this time though my Japanese friends who I was with put her hand on
friends who I was with put her hand on
friends who I was with put her hand on my arm and she said Christine let the
my arm and she said Christine let the
my arm and she said Christine let the children work it out I was astonished I
children work it out I was astonished I
children work it out I was astonished I mean where I came from every other adult
mean where I came from every other adult
mean where I came from every other adult believe that it was adults job to help
believe that it was adults job to help
believe that it was adults job to help guide their children and learning how to
guide their children and learning how to
guide their children and learning how to get along I was pretty sure I was right
get along I was pretty sure I was right
get along I was pretty sure I was right on this but my friend wasn’t alone in
on this but my friend wasn’t alone in
on this but my friend wasn’t alone in her opinion
her opinion
her opinion neither at our preschool the teachers
neither at our preschool the teachers
neither at our preschool the teachers would actually have these parent
would actually have these parent
would actually have these parent education you know meetings and stuff
education you know meetings and stuff
education you know meetings and stuff and they’d say fighting is good for your
and they’d say fighting is good for your
and they’d say fighting is good for your children fighting is how they grow they
children fighting is how they grow they
children fighting is how they grow they can’t learn how to make up unless they
can’t learn how to make up unless they
can’t learn how to make up unless they learn how to fight fighting was
learn how to fight fighting was
learn how to fight fighting was considered to be an important stage of
considered to be an important stage of
considered to be an important stage of childhood I heard this and I thought no
childhood I heard this and I thought no
childhood I heard this and I thought no that’s that’s crazy fighting are you
that’s that’s crazy fighting are you
that’s that’s crazy fighting are you kidding me we’ve got to teach our
kidding me we’ve got to teach our
kidding me we’ve got to teach our children not to look not to fight in the
children not to look not to fight in the
children not to look not to fight in the first place but that idea that we should
first place but that idea that we should
first place but that idea that we should that an adult is supposed to be very
that an adult is supposed to be very
that an adult is supposed to be very much a part of helping to shape a
much a part of helping to shape a
much a part of helping to shape a child’s socialization and etc is
child’s socialization and etc is
child’s socialization and etc is actually in our culture at least the
actually in our culture at least the
actually in our culture at least the sort of relic a hidden relic of the
sort of relic a hidden relic of the
sort of relic a hidden relic of the Puritan notion of childhood that saw it
Puritan notion of childhood that saw it
Puritan notion of childhood that saw it has a period of time when you were
has a period of time when you were
has a period of time when you were supposed to mold and tame their natures
supposed to mold and tame their natures
supposed to mold and tame their natures and even override a naturally sinful
and even override a naturally sinful
and even override a naturally sinful sort of nature within so all cultures
sort of nature within so all cultures
sort of nature within so all cultures again do things differently but I got
again do things differently but I got
again do things differently but I got curious about this and I looked at a
curious about this and I looked at a
curious about this and I looked at a study that interviewed Japanese children
study that interviewed Japanese children
study that interviewed Japanese children and American children who are in fourth
and American children who are in fourth
and American children who are in fourth and fifth grade this is a study out of
and fifth grade this is a study out of
and fifth grade this is a study out of the University of Delaware and this
the University of Delaware and this
the University of Delaware and this researcher was interested in knowing
researcher was interested in knowing
researcher was interested in knowing well what kinds of internal moral
well what kinds of internal moral
well what kinds of internal moral compass are these children taking in
compass are these children taking in
compass are these children taking in when they’re developing when it comes to
when they’re developing when it comes to
when they’re developing when it comes to why they shouldn’t do things like fight
why they shouldn’t do things like fight
why they shouldn’t do things like fight or spread rumors or be mean to someone
or spread rumors or be mean to someone
or spread rumors or be mean to someone else so they asked the American children
else so they asked the American children
else so they asked the American children well why shouldn’t you do these things
well why shouldn’t you do these things
well why shouldn’t you do these things and their answers these are fourth and
and their answers these are fourth and
and their answers these are fourth and fifth graders the answer was well I’d
fifth graders the answer was well I’d
fifth graders the answer was well I’d get caught I’d get in trouble my mom
get caught I’d get in trouble my mom
get caught I’d get in trouble my mom would find out my teacher would find out
would find out my teacher would find out
would find out my teacher would find out so they were very focused on the
so they were very focused on the
so they were very focused on the consequences to themselves nine that was
consequences to themselves nine that was
consequences to themselves nine that was ninety-two percent of those American
ninety-two percent of those American
ninety-two percent of those American children who answered that way the vast
children who answered that way the vast
children who answered that way the vast majority about ninety percent of the
majority about ninety percent of the
majority about ninety percent of the Japanese children when asked the same
Japanese children when asked the same
Japanese children when asked the same question said because it would hurt
question said because it would hurt
question said because it would hurt someone else it would be wrong they
someone else it would be wrong they
someone else it would be wrong they focused on the consequences to
focused on the consequences to
focused on the consequences to themselves they didn’t talk about
themselves they didn’t talk about
themselves they didn’t talk about punishment so this is another area in
punishment so this is another area in
punishment so this is another area in which we might want to rethink the way
which we might want to rethink the way
which we might want to rethink the way that we protect children
that we protect children
that we protect children emotional and social well-being when we
emotional and social well-being when we
emotional and social well-being when we interfere too much and too soon we
interfere too much and too soon we
interfere too much and too soon we actually short-circuit a learning
actually short-circuit a learning
actually short-circuit a learning process that they need to go through the
process that they need to go through the
process that they need to go through the same way that we do if we interfere too
same way that we do if we interfere too
same way that we do if we interfere too soon with physical protection now there
soon with physical protection now there
soon with physical protection now there is one last way that we protect our
is one last way that we protect our
is one last way that we protect our children and there’s a very clear script
children and there’s a very clear script
children and there’s a very clear script on this too we try to prevent them and
on this too we try to prevent them and
on this too we try to prevent them and protect them from the experience of
protect them from the experience of
protect them from the experience of failure to this end will you know will
failure to this end will you know will
failure to this end will you know will go to bat for them with our teachers
go to bat for them with our teachers
go to bat for them with our teachers their coaches we figure out how they’re
their coaches we figure out how they’re
their coaches we figure out how they’re doing in school whether they’re reading
doing in school whether they’re reading
doing in school whether they’re reading quickly enough whether they’re there
quickly enough whether they’re there
quickly enough whether they’re there they need a little bit more of a
they need a little bit more of a
they need a little bit more of a challenge in that but a child who’s
challenge in that but a child who’s
challenge in that but a child who’s never actually been able to experience
never actually been able to experience
never actually been able to experience the ups and downs the hardships and
the ups and downs the hardships and
the ups and downs the hardships and vulnerabilities of life is at a
vulnerabilities of life is at a
vulnerabilities of life is at a disadvantage compared to a child who has
disadvantage compared to a child who has
disadvantage compared to a child who has been able incremental e to cope with
been able incremental e to cope with
been able incremental e to cope with these things we raise our children to be
these things we raise our children to be
these things we raise our children to be individuals we value that a lot in our
individuals we value that a lot in our
individuals we value that a lot in our society we raise we foster their
society we raise we foster their
society we raise we foster their individuality we foster their uniqueness
individuality we foster their uniqueness
individuality we foster their uniqueness sometimes we foster these things more
sometimes we foster these things more
sometimes we foster these things more than we foster their kindness because
than we foster their kindness because
than we foster their kindness because being kind insisting that a child be
being kind insisting that a child be
being kind insisting that a child be kind can sometimes go against the goal
kind can sometimes go against the goal
kind can sometimes go against the goal of raising an independent and spirited
of raising an independent and spirited
of raising an independent and spirited child with a mind of his own but for
child with a mind of his own but for
child with a mind of his own but for children who grow up in countries or in
children who grow up in countries or in
children who grow up in countries or in societies where collective values are
societies where collective values are
societies where collective values are where they see collective values in
where they see collective values in
where they see collective values in action where they see adults farming or
action where they see adults farming or
action where they see adults farming or building homes together sharing comes
building homes together sharing comes
building homes together sharing comes more easily than it does the children
more easily than it does the children
more easily than it does the children raised in individualistic and
raised in individualistic and
raised in individualistic and competitive cultures like our own in one
competitive cultures like our own in one
competitive cultures like our own in one study of childhood fairness across seven
study of childhood fairness across seven
study of childhood fairness across seven cultures two groups of children came out
cultures two groups of children came out
cultures two groups of children came out and this with a they displayed the
and this with a they displayed the
and this with a they displayed the highest and most similar degree of
highest and most similar degree of
highest and most similar degree of self-interest the impoverished
self-interest the impoverished
self-interest the impoverished uneducated brazilian street children and
uneducated brazilian street children and
uneducated brazilian street children and the middle-class suburban american
the middle-class suburban american
the middle-class suburban american children but of course you might say
children but of course you might say
children but of course you might say well we’re not living in a collective
well we’re not living in a collective
well we’re not living in a collective society and i need to raise my child to
society and i need to raise my child to
society and i need to raise my child to thrive here i need to help him learn how
thrive here i need to help him learn how
thrive here i need to help him learn how succeed here but another study this one
succeed here but another study this one
succeed here but another study this one out of Columbia University showed that
out of Columbia University showed that
out of Columbia University showed that students who teenagers whose parents put
students who teenagers whose parents put
students who teenagers whose parents put a lot of achievement pressure on them
a lot of achievement pressure on them
a lot of achievement pressure on them and who feel who overemphasize their
and who feel who overemphasize their
and who feel who overemphasize their accomplishments suffer from more
accomplishments suffer from more
accomplishments suffer from more depression higher rate of substance
depression higher rate of substance
depression higher rate of substance abuse and more anxiety and less
abuse and more anxiety and less
abuse and more anxiety and less resilience around the world I’ve seen
resilience around the world I’ve seen
resilience around the world I’ve seen children cooking cleaning doing errands
children cooking cleaning doing errands
children cooking cleaning doing errands taking buses and Subway’s doing all
taking buses and Subway’s doing all
taking buses and Subway’s doing all sorts of things on their own at an age
sorts of things on their own at an age
sorts of things on their own at an age when we’re still putting on our
when we’re still putting on our
when we’re still putting on our children’s socks and monitoring what
children’s socks and monitoring what
children’s socks and monitoring what they can watch on TV we I’ve seen
they can watch on TV we I’ve seen
they can watch on TV we I’ve seen children caring for their siblings in
children caring for their siblings in
children caring for their siblings in our culture we worried that putting an
our culture we worried that putting an
our culture we worried that putting an undue putting too much of a burden
undue putting too much of a burden
undue putting too much of a burden asking too much of our children will put
asking too much of our children will put
asking too much of our children will put an undue burden on their individual
an undue burden on their individual
an undue burden on their individual potential but the opposite is actually
potential but the opposite is actually
potential but the opposite is actually true when you have your children care
true when you have your children care
true when you have your children care for themselves and for one another it
for themselves and for one another it
for themselves and for one another it increases their ability it nurtures
increases their ability it nurtures
increases their ability it nurtures their potential and unleashes their
their potential and unleashes their
their potential and unleashes their potential as socially responsible and
potential as socially responsible and
potential as socially responsible and nurturing human beings being vulnerable
nurturing human beings being vulnerable
nurturing human beings being vulnerable experiencing hardship and experiencing
experiencing hardship and experiencing
experiencing hardship and experiencing failure these are profoundly human
failure these are profoundly human
failure these are profoundly human things and those are the things that
things and those are the things that
things and those are the things that make us form deep connections with
make us form deep connections with
make us form deep connections with others and it’s those connections that
others and it’s those connections that
others and it’s those connections that allow us to feel sustained when times
allow us to feel sustained when times
allow us to feel sustained when times are hard but there’s more to it than
are hard but there’s more to it than
are hard but there’s more to it than that when we raise our children when
that when we raise our children when
that when we raise our children when children are raised in such an
children are raised in such an
children are raised in such an individualistic individual individually
individualistic individual individually
individualistic individual individually focused sort of way we as parents and we
focused sort of way we as parents and we
focused sort of way we as parents and we as a society become less able to extend
as a society become less able to extend
as a society become less able to extend our view beyond what we see in front of
our view beyond what we see in front of
our view beyond what we see in front of us we become less interested in less
us we become less interested in less
us we become less interested in less able in nurturing the potential of all
able in nurturing the potential of all
able in nurturing the potential of all children but that’s ultimately what
children but that’s ultimately what
children but that’s ultimately what leads to a more unfair and a more
leads to a more unfair and a more
leads to a more unfair and a more unequal and a weaker society so I just
unequal and a weaker society so I just
unequal and a weaker society so I just want to leave you with this just asking
want to leave you with this just asking
want to leave you with this just asking I’m just going to ask you to contemplate
I’m just going to ask you to contemplate
I’m just going to ask you to contemplate a few ways that you can ex
a few ways that you can ex
a few ways that you can ex then and not shorten the leash if you
then and not shorten the leash if you
then and not shorten the leash if you have children if you know children a
have children if you know children a
have children if you know children a child you can let a child walk alone to
child you can let a child walk alone to
child you can let a child walk alone to school even if you have to follow along
school even if you have to follow along
school even if you have to follow along behind him the way I did the first few
behind him the way I did the first few
behind him the way I did the first few times my child did you can give your
times my child did you can give your
times my child did you can give your daughter a pocket knife and teach you
daughter a pocket knife and teach you
daughter a pocket knife and teach you how to use it you can watch your child
how to use it you can watch your child
how to use it you can watch your child going through a hard time and
going through a hard time and
going through a hard time and deliberately hold yourself back like
deliberately hold yourself back like
deliberately hold yourself back like these parents and teachers and other
these parents and teachers and other
these parents and teachers and other cultures I saw and trust and watch and
cultures I saw and trust and watch and
cultures I saw and trust and watch and see what happens these are all baby
see what happens these are all baby
see what happens these are all baby steps but baby steps accumulate these
steps but baby steps accumulate these
steps but baby steps accumulate these steps accumulate and there’s an upside
steps accumulate and there’s an upside
steps accumulate and there’s an upside for us too because it’s a lot easier to
for us too because it’s a lot easier to
for us too because it’s a lot easier to be a parent when you don’t feel like
be a parent when you don’t feel like
be a parent when you don’t feel like everything is all on you thank you
”
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