when I awoke on Friday morning May 13th I didn’t know a single transgender
I didn’t know a single transgender
I didn’t know a single transgender person I didn’t know the mother or the
person I didn’t know the mother or the
person I didn’t know the mother or the father the brother or the sister of a
father the brother or the sister of a
father the brother or the sister of a transgender person but as that day
transgender person but as that day
transgender person but as that day unfolded my life changed I was
unfolded my life changed I was
unfolded my life changed I was transformed by an untold number of
transformed by an untold number of
transformed by an untold number of transgender persons their family members
transgender persons their family members
transgender persons their family members and friends who reached out to me and
and friends who reached out to me and
and friends who reached out to me and loved me even though the Church of Jesus
loved me even though the Church of Jesus
loved me even though the Church of Jesus Christ which I serve as a pastor too
Christ which I serve as a pastor too
Christ which I serve as a pastor too often has not loved them before we go on
often has not loved them before we go on
often has not loved them before we go on I need to acknowledge the story I had to
I need to acknowledge the story I had to
I need to acknowledge the story I had to tell you it’s not really my story it’s
tell you it’s not really my story it’s
tell you it’s not really my story it’s the story of one of the most
the story of one of the most
the story of one of the most misunderstood maligned mistreated people
misunderstood maligned mistreated people
misunderstood maligned mistreated people groups of our time I stand before you as
groups of our time I stand before you as
groups of our time I stand before you as someone with five or six kinds of
someone with five or six kinds of
someone with five or six kinds of privilege that allows me to be heard
privilege that allows me to be heard
privilege that allows me to be heard today I am a white straight male Baptist
today I am a white straight male Baptist
today I am a white straight male Baptist pastor middle aged from Texas
pastor middle aged from Texas
pastor middle aged from Texas and because of those things people will
and because of those things people will
and because of those things people will listen to me who will not right or wrong
listen to me who will not right or wrong
listen to me who will not right or wrong listen to those who have first-hand
listen to those who have first-hand
listen to those who have first-hand stories to tell but it is those stories
stories to tell but it is those stories
stories to tell but it is those stories that have changed me now here’s the
that have changed me now here’s the
that have changed me now here’s the backstory to why I’m standing before you
backstory to why I’m standing before you
backstory to why I’m standing before you today since September of last year our
today since September of last year our
today since September of last year our church has been involved in a detailed
church has been involved in a detailed
church has been involved in a detailed study on questions about inclusion of
study on questions about inclusion of
study on questions about inclusion of the LGBT community in the life of the
the LGBT community in the life of the
the LGBT community in the life of the church we’ve been asking whether there
church we’ve been asking whether there
church we’ve been asking whether there should be any limitations to full
should be any limitations to full
should be any limitations to full membership and participation in the
membership and participation in the
membership and participation in the church based on one’s gender identity or
church based on one’s gender identity or
church based on one’s gender identity or sexual orientation and I must tell you
sexual orientation and I must tell you
sexual orientation and I must tell you that this has been the most difficult
that this has been the most difficult
that this has been the most difficult and painful conversation i’ve ever known
and painful conversation i’ve ever known
and painful conversation i’ve ever known in my lifetime in the church we’ve lost
in my lifetime in the church we’ve lost
in my lifetime in the church we’ve lost members we’ve lost money
members we’ve lost money
members we’ve lost money we’ve lost friends simply for asking the
we’ve lost friends simply for asking the
we’ve lost friends simply for asking the questions that we’ve posed along the way
questions that we’ve posed along the way
questions that we’ve posed along the way in our study process with a 19 member
in our study process with a 19 member
in our study process with a 19 member group we researched and studied and
group we researched and studied and
group we researched and studied and prayed and did all sorts of things and
prayed and did all sorts of things and
prayed and did all sorts of things and about five months into that some members
about five months into that some members
about five months into that some members of the study group said look we have
of the study group said look we have
of the study group said look we have talked a lot about the L and the G in
talked a lot about the L and the G in
talked a lot about the L and the G in LGBT but we really don’t know much about
LGBT but we really don’t know much about
LGBT but we really don’t know much about the B and the T could we please talk
the B and the T could we please talk
the B and the T could we please talk about that well as it turned out we had
about that well as it turned out we had
about that well as it turned out we had two members of the study group who were
two members of the study group who were
two members of the study group who were well equipped to help us with the
well equipped to help us with the
well equipped to help us with the transgender component of that one of
transgender component of that one of
transgender component of that one of them is a pediatrician who works in a
them is a pediatrician who works in a
them is a pediatrician who works in a low-income clinic in Dallas and
low-income clinic in Dallas and
low-income clinic in Dallas and coincidentally has a number of LGBT
coincidentally has a number of LGBT
coincidentally has a number of LGBT patients the other is a geneticist who
patients the other is a geneticist who
patients the other is a geneticist who recently retired as a genetic counselor
recently retired as a genetic counselor
recently retired as a genetic counselor at our Children’s Medical Center in
at our Children’s Medical Center in
at our Children’s Medical Center in Dallas
Dallas
Dallas and so together dr. Rhonda Walton and
and so together dr. Rhonda Walton and
and so together dr. Rhonda Walton and Gayle Brookshire both of whom are
Gayle Brookshire both of whom are
Gayle Brookshire both of whom are present here in the room today they
present here in the room today they
present here in the room today they collaborated to create this presentation
collaborated to create this presentation
collaborated to create this presentation and dr. Walton presented it to us I can
and dr. Walton presented it to us I can
and dr. Walton presented it to us I can still see the room this classroom where
still see the room this classroom where
still see the room this classroom where we met on this Sunday afternoon and the
we met on this Sunday afternoon and the
we met on this Sunday afternoon and the whiteboard where dr. Walton wrote out
whiteboard where dr. Walton wrote out
whiteboard where dr. Walton wrote out words and drew diagrams to help us
words and drew diagrams to help us
words and drew diagrams to help us understand the difference between gender
understand the difference between gender
understand the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation
identity and sexual orientation
identity and sexual orientation how is really different than LGB
how is really different than LGB
how is really different than LGB we learned that gender identity is about
we learned that gender identity is about
we learned that gender identity is about who you are and sexual orientation is
who you are and sexual orientation is
who you are and sexual orientation is about who you love and that these are
about who you love and that these are
about who you love and that these are different things and often unrelated to
different things and often unrelated to
different things and often unrelated to each other
each other
each other dr. Walton helped us understand the
dr. Walton helped us understand the
dr. Walton helped us understand the increasing body of medical and
increasing body of medical and
increasing body of medical and scientific research that is teaching us
scientific research that is teaching us
scientific research that is teaching us that so much of gender identity is
that so much of gender identity is
that so much of gender identity is formed in the womb in ways that we have
formed in the womb in ways that we have
formed in the womb in ways that we have not understood in ways that we cannot
not understood in ways that we cannot
not understood in ways that we cannot see before a child is ever born and she
see before a child is ever born and she
see before a child is ever born and she talked to us about babies who are born
talked to us about babies who are born
talked to us about babies who are born with ambiguous genitalia and the
with ambiguous genitalia and the
with ambiguous genitalia and the difficult decisions that are made about
difficult decisions that are made about
difficult decisions that are made about that and who makes those decisions and
that and who makes those decisions and
that and who makes those decisions and then she quoted the Bible to us she
then she quoted the Bible to us she
then she quoted the Bible to us she reminded us that in the book of Genesis
reminded us that in the book of Genesis
reminded us that in the book of Genesis that is sacred to Jews and Christians
that is sacred to Jews and Christians
that is sacred to Jews and Christians alike we learn we are taught that all of
alike we learn we are taught that all of
alike we learn we are taught that all of us all humans are created in the image
us all humans are created in the image
us all humans are created in the image of God and then she said this she said
of God and then she said this she said
of God and then she said this she said I’ve got to believe that just because
I’ve got to believe that just because
I’ve got to believe that just because someone received a different hormone or
someone received a different hormone or
someone received a different hormone or a different chromosome or a different
a different chromosome or a different
a different chromosome or a different enzyme does not mean that they received
enzyme does not mean that they received
enzyme does not mean that they received any lower dose of the image of God
any lower dose of the image of God
any lower dose of the image of God because she had taught us that these
because she had taught us that these
because she had taught us that these three things Anatomy chromosomes and
three things Anatomy chromosomes and
three things Anatomy chromosomes and brain cells for most of us line up like
brain cells for most of us line up like
brain cells for most of us line up like cherries on a slot machine to give us
cherries on a slot machine to give us
cherries on a slot machine to give us unconflicted gender identity but for
unconflicted gender identity but for
unconflicted gender identity but for some people they don’t line up that way
some people they don’t line up that way
some people they don’t line up that way which might create a conflicted gender
which might create a conflicted gender
which might create a conflicted gender identity or some variation on gender
identity or some variation on gender
identity or some variation on gender identity that we haven’t known in the
identity that we haven’t known in the
identity that we haven’t known in the past to be normative well I was blown
past to be normative well I was blown
past to be normative well I was blown away by what she said I couldn’t stop
away by what she said I couldn’t stop
away by what she said I couldn’t stop thinking about it
thinking about it
thinking about it and I wanted to tell everyone around me
and I wanted to tell everyone around me
and I wanted to tell everyone around me I was I was out evangelizing on this and
I was I was out evangelizing on this and
I was I was out evangelizing on this and I woke up the next Wednesday morning
I woke up the next Wednesday morning
I woke up the next Wednesday morning with a compunction just a compelling
with a compunction just a compelling
with a compunction just a compelling idea that I could not shake out of my
idea that I could not shake out of my
idea that I could not shake out of my head that I needed to write what I was
head that I needed to write what I was
head that I needed to write what I was learning about call it a work of the
learning about call it a work of the
learning about call it a work of the Holy Spirit if you will call it whatever
Holy Spirit if you will call it whatever
Holy Spirit if you will call it whatever you want I could not not do this as a
you want I could not not do this as a
you want I could not not do this as a columnist for the National News Service
columnist for the National News Service
columnist for the National News Service Baptist News
Baptist News
Baptist News dot-com I had a platform it wasn’t my
dot-com I had a platform it wasn’t my
dot-com I had a platform it wasn’t my week to write but I sat down that
week to write but I sat down that
week to write but I sat down that Wednesday morning and wrote anyway and
Wednesday morning and wrote anyway and
Wednesday morning and wrote anyway and in about 45 minutes these words flowed
in about 45 minutes these words flowed
in about 45 minutes these words flowed from my head through my fingers into the
from my head through my fingers into the
from my head through my fingers into the laptop and created a column that was
laptop and created a column that was
laptop and created a column that was titled seven things I’m learning about
titled seven things I’m learning about
titled seven things I’m learning about transgender persons having no idea what
transgender persons having no idea what
transgender persons having no idea what those words would unleash well it was
those words would unleash well it was
those words would unleash well it was published two days later on Friday May
published two days later on Friday May
published two days later on Friday May 13th and it went live on that web site
13th and it went live on that web site
13th and it went live on that web site at 5:00 a.m. Eastern time when I awoke
at 5:00 a.m. Eastern time when I awoke
at 5:00 a.m. Eastern time when I awoke at 6:30 east central time that morning I
at 6:30 east central time that morning I
at 6:30 east central time that morning I knew something unusual was going on
knew something unusual was going on
knew something unusual was going on because I picked up my cell phone to
because I picked up my cell phone to
because I picked up my cell phone to look at it and I had Facebook messages
look at it and I had Facebook messages
look at it and I had Facebook messages and emails and voicemails from people
and emails and voicemails from people
and emails and voicemails from people about that column that I didn’t even
about that column that I didn’t even
about that column that I didn’t even know who’d been published yet and that
know who’d been published yet and that
know who’d been published yet and that was the portent of the way the day was
was the portent of the way the day was
was the portent of the way the day was to go the column has now been read by
to go the column has now been read by
to go the column has now been read by more than a million people and has gone
more than a million people and has gone
more than a million people and has gone truly viral my wife and I spend a good
truly viral my wife and I spend a good
truly viral my wife and I spend a good part of that day at the kitchen table
part of that day at the kitchen table
part of that day at the kitchen table watching social media with the shares
watching social media with the shares
watching social media with the shares and the likes in the comments and they
and the likes in the comments and they
and the likes in the comments and they were moving so fast we couldn’t even
were moving so fast we couldn’t even
were moving so fast we couldn’t even keep up with it it was like watching an
keep up with it it was like watching an
keep up with it it was like watching an electric meter spin on a hot summer day
electric meter spin on a hot summer day
electric meter spin on a hot summer day in Texas well over the next two weeks I
in Texas well over the next two weeks I
in Texas well over the next two weeks I spent every free moment I had responding
spent every free moment I had responding
spent every free moment I had responding to more than 450 people who wrote to me
to more than 450 people who wrote to me
to more than 450 people who wrote to me or called me I talked on the phone I
or called me I talked on the phone I
or called me I talked on the phone I exchanged messages in all sorts of ways
exchanged messages in all sorts of ways
exchanged messages in all sorts of ways I learned the stories of transgender
I learned the stories of transgender
I learned the stories of transgender persons their family members their
persons their family members their
persons their family members their friends and others I heard 95% of the
friends and others I heard 95% of the
friends and others I heard 95% of the comments were positive yes there were a
comments were positive yes there were a
comments were positive yes there were a few cranky people there were a few who
few cranky people there were a few who
few cranky people there were a few who wrote to tell me that I was the tool of
wrote to tell me that I was the tool of
wrote to tell me that I was the tool of Satan or that I clearly did not
Satan or that I clearly did not
Satan or that I clearly did not understand medical science as it was
understand medical science as it was
understand medical science as it was written in the 1950s
but the vast majority were incredibly
but the vast majority were incredibly supportive and most moving of all to me
supportive and most moving of all to me
supportive and most moving of all to me were transgender persons he wrote to say
were transgender persons he wrote to say
were transgender persons he wrote to say I read that you don’t know any
I read that you don’t know any
I read that you don’t know any transgender persons I’d like to be your
transgender persons I’d like to be your
transgender persons I’d like to be your transgender friend and so out of that we
transgender friend and so out of that we
transgender friend and so out of that we moved from online communication to
moved from online communication to
moved from online communication to face-to-face communication
face-to-face communication
face-to-face communication I began meeting for breakfast and lunch
I began meeting for breakfast and lunch
I began meeting for breakfast and lunch and dinner and coffee with new friends
and dinner and coffee with new friends
and dinner and coffee with new friends who are transgender and I heard their
who are transgender and I heard their
who are transgender and I heard their stories they were shocked that a Baptist
stories they were shocked that a Baptist
stories they were shocked that a Baptist pastor would sit down and listen to them
pastor would sit down and listen to them
pastor would sit down and listen to them and I I was shamed to hear their stories
and I I was shamed to hear their stories
and I I was shamed to hear their stories of repression and persecution and
of repression and persecution and
of repression and persecution and rejection and to understand how
rejection and to understand how
rejection and to understand how difficult it is even to use a public
difficult it is even to use a public
difficult it is even to use a public restroom in peace
restroom in peace
restroom in peace almost every transgender person that
almost every transgender person that
almost every transgender person that I’ve met has told me that from their
I’ve met has told me that from their
I’ve met has told me that from their earliest awareness from the time they
earliest awareness from the time they
earliest awareness from the time they were four or five or six years old they
were four or five or six years old they
were four or five or six years old they knew something was different about them
knew something was different about them
knew something was different about them they knew that the anatomy they
they knew that the anatomy they
they knew that the anatomy they presented on the outside did not match
presented on the outside did not match
presented on the outside did not match who they were on the inside but they
who they were on the inside but they
who they were on the inside but they didn’t know what to do with it they had
didn’t know what to do with it they had
didn’t know what to do with it they had no vocabulary for it they had no role
no vocabulary for it they had no role
no vocabulary for it they had no role models for this they had no one to talk
models for this they had no one to talk
models for this they had no one to talk to and often they just stuffed it back
to and often they just stuffed it back
to and often they just stuffed it back in and tried to keep on going sometimes
in and tried to keep on going sometimes
in and tried to keep on going sometimes they turned to strict religious
they turned to strict religious
they turned to strict religious observance to try to get rid of this and
observance to try to get rid of this and
observance to try to get rid of this and none of that works most of the time when
none of that works most of the time when
none of that works most of the time when they finally came to the realization of
they finally came to the realization of
they finally came to the realization of what they actually had known all along
what they actually had known all along
what they actually had known all along they found a sense of peace they said
they found a sense of peace they said
they found a sense of peace they said but they almost always lost family
but they almost always lost family
but they almost always lost family coworkers and always friends who
coworkers and always friends who
coworkers and always friends who abandoned them there are a number of
abandoned them there are a number of
abandoned them there are a number of stories I could share with you that have
stories I could share with you that have
stories I could share with you that have been written to me I’ve chosen just a
been written to me I’ve chosen just a
been written to me I’ve chosen just a few today the first is from a trans
few today the first is from a trans
few today the first is from a trans woman in California she said as you said
woman in California she said as you said
woman in California she said as you said most of us do not want to be in the
most of us do not want to be in the
most of us do not want to be in the spotlight you will hear folks talk about
spotlight you will hear folks talk about
spotlight you will hear folks talk about gay pride and gay power but never
gay pride and gay power but never
gay pride and gay power but never transgender pride or power we just want
transgender pride or power we just want
transgender pride or power we just want to be productive members of society and
to be productive members of society and
to be productive members of society and live the life God designed for us
live the life God designed for us
live the life God designed for us transitioning to our correct gender is
transitioning to our correct gender is
transitioning to our correct gender is the only way to find peace with
the only way to find peace with
the only way to find peace with our selves some of us spend a lifetime
our selves some of us spend a lifetime
our selves some of us spend a lifetime in unfathomable suffering because of
in unfathomable suffering because of
in unfathomable suffering because of self-loathing for being different
self-loathing for being different
self-loathing for being different because of family abuse and rejection
because of family abuse and rejection
because of family abuse and rejection and lack of resources transgender people
and lack of resources transgender people
and lack of resources transgender people have a 40 percent suicide rate as
have a 40 percent suicide rate as
have a 40 percent suicide rate as compared to the national average of
compared to the national average of
compared to the national average of around 3 to 8 percent the next is from a
around 3 to 8 percent the next is from a
around 3 to 8 percent the next is from a trans woman who wrote to tell me about
trans woman who wrote to tell me about
trans woman who wrote to tell me about her history of attempting to find peace
her history of attempting to find peace
her history of attempting to find peace and the Catholic Church in the Mormon
and the Catholic Church in the Mormon
and the Catholic Church in the Mormon Church in the Navy and then to tell me
Church in the Navy and then to tell me
Church in the Navy and then to tell me about her 12 suicide attempts you don’t
about her 12 suicide attempts you don’t
about her 12 suicide attempts you don’t know what reading your opinion piece did
know what reading your opinion piece did
know what reading your opinion piece did within me lately I’ve been reading
within me lately I’ve been reading
within me lately I’ve been reading article after article of the attacks
article after article of the attacks
article after article of the attacks against LGBT people especially those of
against LGBT people especially those of
against LGBT people especially those of us who are transgender I read almost
us who are transgender I read almost
us who are transgender I read almost every day of another murdered trans
every day of another murdered trans
every day of another murdered trans woman then today I read your post and in
woman then today I read your post and in
woman then today I read your post and in shines this ray of hope for my screen it
shines this ray of hope for my screen it
shines this ray of hope for my screen it shows me that there are true Christians
shows me that there are true Christians
shows me that there are true Christians out there
out there
out there your words brought tears to my eyes with
your words brought tears to my eyes with
your words brought tears to my eyes with the hopes that maybe just maybe God is
the hopes that maybe just maybe God is
the hopes that maybe just maybe God is still with me he’s here but I can’t yet
still with me he’s here but I can’t yet
still with me he’s here but I can’t yet enter a church with him one of the most
enter a church with him one of the most
enter a church with him one of the most difficult things to hear in these
difficult things to hear in these
difficult things to hear in these communications
communications
communications has been the number of transgender
has been the number of transgender
has been the number of transgender persons and their family members who are
persons and their family members who are
persons and their family members who are people of deep and abiding faith but
people of deep and abiding faith but
people of deep and abiding faith but have been rejected expelled kicked out
have been rejected expelled kicked out
have been rejected expelled kicked out of churches and other communities of
of churches and other communities of
of churches and other communities of faith simply because they or someone
faith simply because they or someone
faith simply because they or someone they love is transgender and the church
they love is transgender and the church
they love is transgender and the church does not know what to do with it the
does not know what to do with it the
does not know what to do with it the most frequent question I was asked in
most frequent question I was asked in
most frequent question I was asked in all of my communications is this does
all of my communications is this does
all of my communications is this does God still love me a few weeks ago I
God still love me a few weeks ago I
God still love me a few weeks ago I received an email from a trans woman and
received an email from a trans woman and
received an email from a trans woman and her wife who live in the Dallas area
her wife who live in the Dallas area
her wife who live in the Dallas area they wrote to say we’ve heard that your
they wrote to say we’ve heard that your
they wrote to say we’ve heard that your church is a place that is welcoming the
church is a place that is welcoming the
church is a place that is welcoming the marginalized members of society like us
marginalized members of society like us
marginalized members of society like us and that if we showed up you would
and that if we showed up you would
and that if we showed up you would welcome us and you wouldn’t escort us
welcome us and you wouldn’t escort us
welcome us and you wouldn’t escort us from the sanctuary
from the sanctuary
from the sanctuary is that true is it really safe for us to
is that true is it really safe for us to
is that true is it really safe for us to come there well I couldn’t move fast
come there well I couldn’t move fast
come there well I couldn’t move fast enough to write her back and say yes yes
enough to write her back and say yes yes
enough to write her back and say yes yes yes please come and they did they came
yes please come and they did they came
yes please come and they did they came the next Sunday and my wife and I met
the next Sunday and my wife and I met
the next Sunday and my wife and I met them and we were able to have lunch with
them and we were able to have lunch with
them and we were able to have lunch with him after church for about an hour and a
him after church for about an hour and a
him after church for about an hour and a half we listened to their story and I
half we listened to their story and I
half we listened to their story and I was astonished to discover that this
was astonished to discover that this
was astonished to discover that this trans woman and I had been in seminary
trans woman and I had been in seminary
trans woman and I had been in seminary together in the same place at the same
together in the same place at the same
together in the same place at the same time had not we don’t think we knew each
time had not we don’t think we knew each
time had not we don’t think we knew each other but we had felt the same call to
other but we had felt the same call to
other but we had felt the same call to ministry gone to the same place for
ministry gone to the same place for
ministry gone to the same place for training and yet 30 years later our
training and yet 30 years later our
training and yet 30 years later our lives had taken vastly different paths
lives had taken vastly different paths
lives had taken vastly different paths and we had been brought back together by
and we had been brought back together by
and we had been brought back together by these words that had been published a
these words that had been published a
these words that had been published a few days later I received a thank-you
few days later I received a thank-you
few days later I received a thank-you note in the mail a beautiful thank-you
note in the mail a beautiful thank-you
note in the mail a beautiful thank-you card and it said thank you so much for
card and it said thank you so much for
card and it said thank you so much for receiving us we have looked for four
receiving us we have looked for four
receiving us we have looked for four years for a church that would welcome us
years for a church that would welcome us
years for a church that would welcome us like you did one of the reasons that I
like you did one of the reasons that I
like you did one of the reasons that I have received a hearing with the
have received a hearing with the
have received a hearing with the transgender community is because I was
transgender community is because I was
transgender community is because I was willing to listen I wanted to meet
willing to listen I wanted to meet
willing to listen I wanted to meet people who are different than me you may
people who are different than me you may
people who are different than me you may be wondering if I’ve undergone some sort
be wondering if I’ve undergone some sort
be wondering if I’ve undergone some sort of dramatic conversion through all of
of dramatic conversion through all of
of dramatic conversion through all of this maybe from hatred to love and the
this maybe from hatred to love and the
this maybe from hatred to love and the truth is that’s not really it
truth is that’s not really it
truth is that’s not really it but I think the conversion I’ve
but I think the conversion I’ve
but I think the conversion I’ve undergone is more significant because it
undergone is more significant because it
undergone is more significant because it is a transformation from indifference to
is a transformation from indifference to
is a transformation from indifference to compassion before May 13th I didn’t know
compassion before May 13th I didn’t know
compassion before May 13th I didn’t know any transgender persons it’s not that I
any transgender persons it’s not that I
any transgender persons it’s not that I hated anyone or didn’t like anyone I
hated anyone or didn’t like anyone I
hated anyone or didn’t like anyone I just didn’t know these people I didn’t
just didn’t know these people I didn’t
just didn’t know these people I didn’t know these people who are different than
know these people who are different than
know these people who are different than me but so much like me as well and I
me but so much like me as well and I
me but so much like me as well and I believe this is the condition of most of
believe this is the condition of most of
believe this is the condition of most of America today we are guilty of the sin
America today we are guilty of the sin
America today we are guilty of the sin of willful ignorance and the sin of
of willful ignorance and the sin of
of willful ignorance and the sin of silence let’s face it I am one of the
silence let’s face it I am one of the
silence let’s face it I am one of the least likely spokespersons for the
least likely spokespersons for the
least likely spokespersons for the transgender community
and yet one of the things I’ve learned
and yet one of the things I’ve learned through this is that often we don’t get
through this is that often we don’t get
through this is that often we don’t get to choose our causes they choose us and
to choose our causes they choose us and
to choose our causes they choose us and in this moment I have learned because of
in this moment I have learned because of
in this moment I have learned because of what I have heard and learned it’s time
what I have heard and learned it’s time
what I have heard and learned it’s time for me to speak up and to help others
for me to speak up and to help others
for me to speak up and to help others understand it’s the parents it’s letters
understand it’s the parents it’s letters
understand it’s the parents it’s letters from parents that have moved me really
from parents that have moved me really
from parents that have moved me really the most though parents just like you
the most though parents just like you
the most though parents just like you and me who love their kids and want the
and me who love their kids and want the
and me who love their kids and want the best for them and want them to succeed
best for them and want them to succeed
best for them and want them to succeed and want them to be loved by other
and want them to be loved by other
and want them to be loved by other people but yet they’ve been dealt a hand
people but yet they’ve been dealt a hand
people but yet they’ve been dealt a hand they don’t know how to play and they
they don’t know how to play and they
they don’t know how to play and they feel so alone there’s one mom named
feel so alone there’s one mom named
feel so alone there’s one mom named Emily who wrote me in such a way that
Emily who wrote me in such a way that
Emily who wrote me in such a way that she encapsulated so much of what I’ve
she encapsulated so much of what I’ve
she encapsulated so much of what I’ve heard from others I want to share this
heard from others I want to share this
heard from others I want to share this with you she said I’m the mother of two
with you she said I’m the mother of two
with you she said I’m the mother of two children and absolutely brilliant an
children and absolutely brilliant an
children and absolutely brilliant an amazing son who turned 11 today and a
amazing son who turned 11 today and a
amazing son who turned 11 today and a sweet funny and smart eight-year-old
sweet funny and smart eight-year-old
sweet funny and smart eight-year-old girl who is transgender your blogpost
girl who is transgender your blogpost
girl who is transgender your blogpost gives me hope since we have allowed our
gives me hope since we have allowed our
gives me hope since we have allowed our daughter to socially transition we’ve
daughter to socially transition we’ve
daughter to socially transition we’ve lost almost all our family the three
lost almost all our family the three
lost almost all our family the three relationships that remain are extremely
relationships that remain are extremely
relationships that remain are extremely strained my father-in-law doesn’t speak
strained my father-in-law doesn’t speak
strained my father-in-law doesn’t speak directly to me my mother-in-law says
directly to me my mother-in-law says
directly to me my mother-in-law says that I let Claire’s issues rule my life
that I let Claire’s issues rule my life
that I let Claire’s issues rule my life neither use her name for a time Claire
neither use her name for a time Claire
neither use her name for a time Claire was this one they focus on the pain this
was this one they focus on the pain this
was this one they focus on the pain this causes them they’re hurting they’re sad
causes them they’re hurting they’re sad
causes them they’re hurting they’re sad they mourn the loss of their grandson
they mourn the loss of their grandson
they mourn the loss of their grandson but they’ve never looked at any of the
but they’ve never looked at any of the
but they’ve never looked at any of the resources I’ve given them they’ve never
resources I’ve given them they’ve never
resources I’ve given them they’ve never gone to a PFLAG meeting they’ve never
gone to a PFLAG meeting they’ve never
gone to a PFLAG meeting they’ve never talked others anything
talked others anything
talked others anything my husband’s ants said this is the
my husband’s ants said this is the
my husband’s ants said this is the result of the darkness of the world and
result of the darkness of the world and
result of the darkness of the world and Satan’s influence on us she says I’ve
Satan’s influence on us she says I’ve
Satan’s influence on us she says I’ve always known that my daughter was
always known that my daughter was
always known that my daughter was different when she was three she made
different when she was three she made
different when she was three she made her first set of boobies out of slices
her first set of boobies out of slices
her first set of boobies out of slices of salami
she begged comments about growing up
she begged comments about growing up when she gets to be a girl and having
when she gets to be a girl and having
when she gets to be a girl and having long pretty red hair comments about when
long pretty red hair comments about when
long pretty red hair comments about when she grows up and gets to be a mommy she
she grows up and gets to be a mommy she
she grows up and gets to be a mommy she put on her first dress when she was six
put on her first dress when she was six
put on her first dress when she was six years old and I literally saw the
years old and I literally saw the
years old and I literally saw the tension drain from her shoulders and I
tension drain from her shoulders and I
tension drain from her shoulders and I saw the joy in her face a little over
saw the joy in her face a little over
saw the joy in her face a little over two months later she looked at me right
two months later she looked at me right
two months later she looked at me right in the face and said my my boy life is
in the face and said my my boy life is
in the face and said my my boy life is over and it’s my girl life now call me
over and it’s my girl life now call me
over and it’s my girl life now call me Claire this winter she suffered her
Claire this winter she suffered her
Claire this winter she suffered her first bout of suicidal ideation my
first bout of suicidal ideation my
first bout of suicidal ideation my eight-year-old wanted to die and then
eight-year-old wanted to die and then
eight-year-old wanted to die and then this brave mom taught me this lesson she
this brave mom taught me this lesson she
this brave mom taught me this lesson she said a loving God did not put my
said a loving God did not put my
said a loving God did not put my daughter on this earth as an example of
daughter on this earth as an example of
daughter on this earth as an example of how not to be or how we should not
how not to be or how we should not
how not to be or how we should not parent she was put on this earth to show
parent she was put on this earth to show
parent she was put on this earth to show the wonder of this creation this little
the wonder of this creation this little
the wonder of this creation this little girl who looks just like I did at her
girl who looks just like I did at her
girl who looks just like I did at her age this little girl who giggles and
age this little girl who giggles and
age this little girl who giggles and it’s infectious this little girl who hid
it’s infectious this little girl who hid
it’s infectious this little girl who hid because she was afraid we would throw
because she was afraid we would throw
because she was afraid we would throw her away but eventually was brave enough
her away but eventually was brave enough
her away but eventually was brave enough to tell us that she’s a girl and her
to tell us that she’s a girl and her
to tell us that she’s a girl and her name is Claire thank you
”
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