[Music] I have three words for you yes No
I have three words for you yes No
I have three words for you yes No and what would happen if you made a
and what would happen if you made a
and what would happen if you made a decision today to live your life in a
decision today to live your life in a
decision today to live your life in a whole new way what would happen if you
whole new way what would happen if you
whole new way what would happen if you said yes to only those opportunities
said yes to only those opportunities
said yes to only those opportunities that aligned you through your most
that aligned you through your most
that aligned you through your most deeply held values and beliefs what
deeply held values and beliefs what
deeply held values and beliefs what would happen if you said no to
would happen if you said no to
would happen if you said no to opportunities that fell outside of that
opportunities that fell outside of that
opportunities that fell outside of that essential vision and what would happen
essential vision and what would happen
essential vision and what would happen if you said and as a way to embrace all
if you said and as a way to embrace all
if you said and as a way to embrace all of the unique skills qualities and
of the unique skills qualities and
of the unique skills qualities and experiences that only you possess this
experiences that only you possess this
experiences that only you possess this one key decision being able to
one key decision being able to
one key decision being able to meaningfully sift in prioritize the
meaningfully sift in prioritize the
meaningfully sift in prioritize the valley the various elements of my life
valley the various elements of my life
valley the various elements of my life in a way that aligned with those values
in a way that aligned with those values
in a way that aligned with those values has given me incredible creative freedom
has given me incredible creative freedom
has given me incredible creative freedom and much greater life satisfaction this
and much greater life satisfaction this
and much greater life satisfaction this summer I was pleased for a mere from
summer I was pleased for a mere from
summer I was pleased for a mere from shale rock we rise a piece of new music
shale rock we rise a piece of new music
shale rock we rise a piece of new music which for me represented a culmination
which for me represented a culmination
which for me represented a culmination of three years of living this particular
of three years of living this particular
of three years of living this particular philosophy writing this piece excited me
philosophy writing this piece excited me
philosophy writing this piece excited me it challenged me the creative team
it challenged me the creative team
it challenged me the creative team behind the project energized and
behind the project energized and
behind the project energized and inspired me and the topic of the project
inspired me and the topic of the project
inspired me and the topic of the project was one of deep personal significance to
was one of deep personal significance to
was one of deep personal significance to me
so how did I get here well let’s time
so how did I get here well let’s time travel a bit it’s the spring of 2013 I’m
travel a bit it’s the spring of 2013 I’m
travel a bit it’s the spring of 2013 I’m a full-time stay-at-home mother to two
a full-time stay-at-home mother to two
a full-time stay-at-home mother to two beautiful children I’m active as a
beautiful children I’m active as a
beautiful children I’m active as a volunteer at their schools I do a lot at
volunteer at their schools I do a lot at
volunteer at their schools I do a lot at my church and yet there’s one essential
my church and yet there’s one essential
my church and yet there’s one essential part of my life that’s missing despite
part of my life that’s missing despite
part of my life that’s missing despite years of professional training I’m not
years of professional training I’m not
years of professional training I’m not doing anything as a professional
doing anything as a professional
doing anything as a professional musician
musician
musician somewhere along the line I’ve
somewhere along the line I’ve
somewhere along the line I’ve internalized this idea that to be a good
internalized this idea that to be a good
internalized this idea that to be a good wife and mother means setting aside this
wife and mother means setting aside this
wife and mother means setting aside this other part of myself my life operates on
other part of myself my life operates on
other part of myself my life operates on a principle of should I should be
a principle of should I should be
a principle of should I should be volunteering for that committee I should
volunteering for that committee I should
volunteering for that committee I should be bringing cupcakes to this event but
be bringing cupcakes to this event but
be bringing cupcakes to this event but when I have the courage to admit it to
when I have the courage to admit it to
when I have the courage to admit it to myself I’m miserable in the course of a
myself I’m miserable in the course of a
myself I’m miserable in the course of a single week two opportunities drop into
single week two opportunities drop into
single week two opportunities drop into my lap my mentor calls and asks if I
my lap my mentor calls and asks if I
my lap my mentor calls and asks if I would be interested in doing some
would be interested in doing some
would be interested in doing some freelance work for him as a music editor
freelance work for him as a music editor
freelance work for him as a music editor for his publishing company and I’m asked
for his publishing company and I’m asked
for his publishing company and I’m asked to direct a small theatrical production
to direct a small theatrical production
to direct a small theatrical production at my church I say yes to doing the
at my church I say yes to doing the
at my church I say yes to doing the music editing work and I say no to
music editing work and I say no to
music editing work and I say no to directing the show why say yes to one
directing the show why say yes to one
directing the show why say yes to one and no to the other well you see my
and no to the other well you see my
and no to the other well you see my entire life I’ve dreamed of writing my
entire life I’ve dreamed of writing my
entire life I’ve dreamed of writing my own music and having it performed and
own music and having it performed and
own music and having it performed and published the music editing work gets me
published the music editing work gets me
published the music editing work gets me a good contact in the publishing
a good contact in the publishing
a good contact in the publishing industry and allows me to work with
industry and allows me to work with
industry and allows me to work with people who are already successful at
people who are already successful at
people who are already successful at doing that very thing that I want to be
doing that very thing that I want to be
doing that very thing that I want to be doing this represents a yes to deeper
doing this represents a yes to deeper
doing this represents a yes to deeper involvement in music which I am missing
involvement in music which I am missing
involvement in music which I am missing from my life it also represents an and a
from my life it also represents an and a
from my life it also represents an and a chance to bring in my love of music
chance to bring in my love of music
chance to bring in my love of music theory which has long been absent from
theory which has long been absent from
theory which has long been absent from my professional career so why say no to
my professional career so why say no to
my professional career so why say no to directing the show as it turns out I
directing the show as it turns out I
directing the show as it turns out I have ample experience directing musicals
have ample experience directing musicals
have ample experience directing musicals and in fact I’m pretty good at it but
and in fact I’m pretty good at it but
and in fact I’m pretty good at it but when I think about this particular
when I think about this particular
when I think about this particular project it occurs to me that often the
project it occurs to me that often the
project it occurs to me that often the limited time and resources and rehearsal
limited time and resources and rehearsal
limited time and resources and rehearsal that you have in a church music context
that you have in a church music context
that you have in a church music context leaves me feeling frustrated and I
leaves me feeling frustrated and I
leaves me feeling frustrated and I ultimately decide that this particular
ultimately decide that this particular
ultimately decide that this particular opportunity would be a drain on my time
opportunity would be a drain on my time
opportunity would be a drain on my time and resources instead of the growth
and resources instead of the growth
and resources instead of the growth opportunity that I’m really craving that
opportunity that I’m really craving that
opportunity that I’m really craving that was the beginning of my journey from
was the beginning of my journey from
was the beginning of my journey from their three years of living this
their three years of living this
their three years of living this philosophy began to yield in
philosophy began to yield in
philosophy began to yield in credible results getting my first pieces
credible results getting my first pieces
credible results getting my first pieces of music performed and published in 2014
of music performed and published in 2014
of music performed and published in 2014 becoming the director of a children’s
becoming the director of a children’s
becoming the director of a children’s choir and then artistic director of the
choir and then artistic director of the
choir and then artistic director of the entire organization guests conducting at
entire organization guests conducting at
entire organization guests conducting at music festivals returning to my beloved
music festivals returning to my beloved
music festivals returning to my beloved alma mater to teach music theory as an
alma mater to teach music theory as an
alma mater to teach music theory as an adjunct professor and finally receiving
adjunct professor and finally receiving
adjunct professor and finally receiving my first commissions for extended works
my first commissions for extended works
my first commissions for extended works as a composer however part of this mate
as a composer however part of this mate
as a composer however part of this mate meant making room for other things in my
meant making room for other things in my
meant making room for other things in my life I had to let go of some things it
life I had to let go of some things it
life I had to let go of some things it meant saying no to organising the school
meant saying no to organising the school
meant saying no to organising the school carnival for a third year it meant
carnival for a third year it meant
carnival for a third year it meant saying no to continuing to work on the
saying no to continuing to work on the
saying no to continuing to work on the board of an arts organization that I
board of an arts organization that I
board of an arts organization that I dearly loved when it became clear that I
dearly loved when it became clear that I
dearly loved when it became clear that I couldn’t juggle everything and it also
couldn’t juggle everything and it also
couldn’t juggle everything and it also meant letting go of feeling guilty for
meant letting go of feeling guilty for
meant letting go of feeling guilty for saying no and then one day as I sat in
saying no and then one day as I sat in
saying no and then one day as I sat in the lobby of my daughter’s dance studio
the lobby of my daughter’s dance studio
the lobby of my daughter’s dance studio I got a phone call from England would I
I got a phone call from England would I
I got a phone call from England would I be interested in writing a new piece of
be interested in writing a new piece of
be interested in writing a new piece of music for the grassroots Chamber
music for the grassroots Chamber
music for the grassroots Chamber Orchestra and would I be willing to work
Orchestra and would I be willing to work
Orchestra and would I be willing to work with a local poet who would be writing
with a local poet who would be writing
with a local poet who would be writing the text and would I be willing to write
the text and would I be willing to write
the text and would I be willing to write the piece about the efforts of the
the piece about the efforts of the
the piece about the efforts of the environmental conservation group we are
environmental conservation group we are
environmental conservation group we are Seneca Lake well you can imagine what my
Seneca Lake well you can imagine what my
Seneca Lake well you can imagine what my answer was to those questions yes to
answer was to those questions yes to
answer was to those questions yes to writing new music yes to working with a
writing new music yes to working with a
writing new music yes to working with a local poet yes to writing about an
local poet yes to writing about an
local poet yes to writing about an environmental issue that was deeply
environmental issue that was deeply
environmental issue that was deeply deeply important to me music with a
deeply important to me music with a
deeply important to me music with a message however as the project
message however as the project
message however as the project progressed it became clear that knows
progressed it became clear that knows
progressed it became clear that knows were essential to the process as well I
were essential to the process as well I
were essential to the process as well I had to say no to a few early drafts of
had to say no to a few early drafts of
had to say no to a few early drafts of the poem that didn’t quite light my
the poem that didn’t quite light my
the poem that didn’t quite light my imagination on fire I had to say no to
imagination on fire I had to say no to
imagination on fire I had to say no to using the most of the brass instruments
using the most of the brass instruments
using the most of the brass instruments which would have overpowered the singer
which would have overpowered the singer
which would have overpowered the singer no to writing for more than one wind
no to writing for more than one wind
no to writing for more than one wind instrument on a part for the same reason
instrument on a part for the same reason
instrument on a part for the same reason no to use of musical and poetic forms
no to use of musical and poetic forms
no to use of musical and poetic forms that
that
that weren’t tightly constructed and even no
weren’t tightly constructed and even no
weren’t tightly constructed and even no to some passages of music that I had
to some passages of music that I had
to some passages of music that I had already written when it was clear that
already written when it was clear that
already written when it was clear that they just didn’t fit with a larger
they just didn’t fit with a larger
they just didn’t fit with a larger vision of the piece in the end however
vision of the piece in the end however
vision of the piece in the end however it’s been the ands that have been the
it’s been the ands that have been the
it’s been the ands that have been the most significant and meaningful to me
most significant and meaningful to me
most significant and meaningful to me and I got to write for an orchestra for
and I got to write for an orchestra for
and I got to write for an orchestra for the first time and my work premiered at
the first time and my work premiered at
the first time and my work premiered at a major music festival and writing this
a major music festival and writing this
a major music festival and writing this work was in its own way my way of
work was in its own way my way of
work was in its own way my way of protesting what was happening and it
protesting what was happening and it
protesting what was happening and it looks as though there may be an
looks as though there may be an
looks as though there may be an opportunity to take this work to the
opportunity to take this work to the
opportunity to take this work to the site of the protest itself and this work
site of the protest itself and this work
site of the protest itself and this work has become the foundation of this TEDx
has become the foundation of this TEDx
has become the foundation of this TEDx talk my journey continues and I can’t
talk my journey continues and I can’t
talk my journey continues and I can’t wait to see where things will go next
wait to see where things will go next
wait to see where things will go next and so I turned these three words over
and so I turned these three words over
and so I turned these three words over to you what would happen if you said yes
to you what would happen if you said yes
to you what would happen if you said yes what would happen if you said no what
what would happen if you said no what
what would happen if you said no what would happen if you said and
would happen if you said and
would happen if you said and [Music]
thank you
thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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