let me ask you one question would you be able to describe your personality in
able to describe your personality in
able to describe your personality in just one word what would it be
just one word what would it be
just one word what would it be now what if I asked you to give an
now what if I asked you to give an
now what if I asked you to give an explanation for that word how did you
explanation for that word how did you
explanation for that word how did you become that way for example me I would
become that way for example me I would
become that way for example me I would choose the word perfectionist and being
choose the word perfectionist and being
choose the word perfectionist and being a perfectionist I’ll give you a more
a perfectionist I’ll give you a more
a perfectionist I’ll give you a more extensive reasoning for why I chose that
extensive reasoning for why I chose that
extensive reasoning for why I chose that word so first what does it mean to be
word so first what does it mean to be
word so first what does it mean to be perfect it’s simply about having good
perfect it’s simply about having good
perfect it’s simply about having good grades in school or having good business
grades in school or having good business
grades in school or having good business performance or should one also have a
performance or should one also have a
performance or should one also have a flawless character money there is not a
flawless character money there is not a
flawless character money there is not a clear recipe for that obviously as
clear recipe for that obviously as
clear recipe for that obviously as everyone has different standards however
everyone has different standards however
everyone has different standards however most of the people will not and agree
most of the people will not and agree
most of the people will not and agree upon the things I’ve just listed to call
upon the things I’ve just listed to call
upon the things I’ve just listed to call once of perfect yet there are some
once of perfect yet there are some
once of perfect yet there are some people who just need more and want to be
people who just need more and want to be
people who just need more and want to be better
better
better we call them perfectionist and I
we call them perfectionist and I
we call them perfectionist and I consider myself one of them being
consider myself one of them being
consider myself one of them being obsessed with perfection is like this
obsessed with perfection is like this
obsessed with perfection is like this spending an entire day to finish a task
spending an entire day to finish a task
spending an entire day to finish a task when orders meet just a few hours paying
when orders meet just a few hours paying
when orders meet just a few hours paying attention to one shrivel thing for all
attention to one shrivel thing for all
attention to one shrivel thing for all day long everything in a perfect order
day long everything in a perfect order
day long everything in a perfect order when taking notes drawing diagrams or
when taking notes drawing diagrams or
when taking notes drawing diagrams or arranging files completing assignments
arranging files completing assignments
arranging files completing assignments one month before the due date never
one month before the due date never
one month before the due date never allowing your personal space to be messy
allowing your personal space to be messy
allowing your personal space to be messy not going to sleep before the daily
not going to sleep before the daily
not going to sleep before the daily to-do list is all ticked off but
to-do list is all ticked off but
to-do list is all ticked off but sometimes being perfectionist can be
sometimes being perfectionist can be
sometimes being perfectionist can be beneficial teachers love it for example
beneficial teachers love it for example
beneficial teachers love it for example by the high standards I set for myself
by the high standards I set for myself
by the high standards I set for myself and the time I spent to make it through
and the time I spent to make it through
and the time I spent to make it through I have actually became punctual
I have actually became punctual
I have actually became punctual I made less obvious mistakes as I care
I made less obvious mistakes as I care
I made less obvious mistakes as I care for everything to its smallest detail
for everything to its smallest detail
for everything to its smallest detail the others with just ignore when
the others with just ignore when
the others with just ignore when teachers my other students or my parents
teachers my other students or my parents
teachers my other students or my parents describe me they will probably use words
describe me they will probably use words
describe me they will probably use words such as delusions has great time man
such as delusions has great time man
such as delusions has great time man skills and hardworking and as a
skills and hardworking and as a
skills and hardworking and as a perfectionist I couldn’t get enough of
perfectionist I couldn’t get enough of
perfectionist I couldn’t get enough of these descriptions because they made me
these descriptions because they made me
these descriptions because they made me feel proud and fulfilled but as you can
feel proud and fulfilled but as you can
feel proud and fulfilled but as you can imagine it wasn’t all a walk in the
imagine it wasn’t all a walk in the
imagine it wasn’t all a walk in the rose-garden my standards got easily in
rose-garden my standards got easily in
rose-garden my standards got easily in the way of others as it wasn’t always
the way of others as it wasn’t always
the way of others as it wasn’t always easy to realize that perfectionism can
easy to realize that perfectionism can
easy to realize that perfectionism can be good for me well it may not be so
be good for me well it may not be so
be good for me well it may not be so good for others when I faced an
good for others when I faced an
good for others when I faced an unexpected event I couldn’t cope with it
unexpected event I couldn’t cope with it
unexpected event I couldn’t cope with it when I had my plans specifically set the
when I had my plans specifically set the
when I had my plans specifically set the people around me had to adjust their
people around me had to adjust their
people around me had to adjust their plans to mine so as you can probably
plans to mine so as you can probably
plans to mine so as you can probably guess I didn’t have many friends were
guess I didn’t have many friends were
guess I didn’t have many friends were willing to put up with this more and
willing to put up with this more and
willing to put up with this more and more people leaving the continuous
more people leaving the continuous
more people leaving the continuous pursuit of flawless products the need of
pursuit of flawless products the need of
pursuit of flawless products the need of superb performances and setting
superb performances and setting
superb performances and setting unrealistic goals made me wonder and I
unrealistic goals made me wonder and I
unrealistic goals made me wonder and I began to question why do I have to be so
began to question why do I have to be so
began to question why do I have to be so perfect why can’t I have normal
perfect why can’t I have normal
perfect why can’t I have normal expectations as others do and why am I
expectations as others do and why am I
expectations as others do and why am I so obsessed with unnecessary details
so obsessed with unnecessary details
so obsessed with unnecessary details when clearly there’s more to life these
when clearly there’s more to life these
when clearly there’s more to life these questions drove me to find the reason
questions drove me to find the reason
questions drove me to find the reason behind the real cause of my
behind the real cause of my
behind the real cause of my perfectionism I started to ponder could
perfectionism I started to ponder could
perfectionism I started to ponder could it simply come from my family trait was
it simply come from my family trait was
it simply come from my family trait was I born that way or were there other
I born that way or were there other
I born that way or were there other external factors that affected in
external factors that affected in
external factors that affected in building the present mean as I was
building the present mean as I was
building the present mean as I was thinking about it more and more a memory
thinking about it more and more a memory
thinking about it more and more a memory from my childhood dawned on me I was
from my childhood dawned on me I was
from my childhood dawned on me I was finally able to realize remember the
finally able to realize remember the
finally able to realize remember the moment then I first felt my life would
moment then I first felt my life would
moment then I first felt my life would be different from others it was a day
be different from others it was a day
be different from others it was a day when I heard my store mother’s story of
when I heard my store mother’s story of
when I heard my store mother’s story of her miscarriage it was a day when I was
her miscarriage it was a day when I was
her miscarriage it was a day when I was 8 when I overheard my parents talking
8 when I overheard my parents talking
8 when I overheard my parents talking about it out that I wasn’t aware of it
about it out that I wasn’t aware of it
about it out that I wasn’t aware of it was a child with no name no gender nor
was a child with no name no gender nor
was a child with no name no gender nor ange it was a child who came as a gift
ange it was a child who came as a gift
ange it was a child who came as a gift to our family so quickly but gone so
to our family so quickly but gone so
to our family so quickly but gone so quickly it was the child to be my older
quickly it was the child to be my older
quickly it was the child to be my older sister
sister
sister actually the miscarriage happened before
actually the miscarriage happened before
actually the miscarriage happened before I was born so I can say with confidence
I was born so I can say with confidence
I was born so I can say with confidence that I do not have any responsibility
that I do not have any responsibility
that I do not have any responsibility for this event however I couldn’t I
for this event however I couldn’t I
for this event however I couldn’t I didn’t want to I wanted to deal with it
didn’t want to I wanted to deal with it
didn’t want to I wanted to deal with it as if I had the whole responsibility for
as if I had the whole responsibility for
as if I had the whole responsibility for her death I know this probably sounds
her death I know this probably sounds
her death I know this probably sounds crazy to you but there was no other
crazy to you but there was no other
crazy to you but there was no other explanation for that eight-year-old girl
explanation for that eight-year-old girl
explanation for that eight-year-old girl I knew I couldn’t bring the child back
I knew I couldn’t bring the child back
I knew I couldn’t bring the child back to life but just consoling my parents or
to life but just consoling my parents or
to life but just consoling my parents or feeling sorry for the child wasn’t good
feeling sorry for the child wasn’t good
feeling sorry for the child wasn’t good enough for me
enough for me
enough for me the only way I could think up was on not
the only way I could think up was on not
the only way I could think up was on not only with my own life but also the
only with my own life but also the
only with my own life but also the child’s then I started to see my world
child’s then I started to see my world
child’s then I started to see my world differently I realized that there were
differently I realized that there were
differently I realized that there were much more advantages given to me that
much more advantages given to me that
much more advantages given to me that I’d taken for granted I started to learn
I’d taken for granted I started to learn
I’d taken for granted I started to learn how to appreciate things rather than
how to appreciate things rather than
how to appreciate things rather than certainly accepting I started to value
certainly accepting I started to value
certainly accepting I started to value my life even more the way to value my
my life even more the way to value my
my life even more the way to value my life for me was to be perfect in every
life for me was to be perfect in every
life for me was to be perfect in every aspect of it to be twice organized twice
aspect of it to be twice organized twice
aspect of it to be twice organized twice fast and twice complete at first the
fast and twice complete at first the
fast and twice complete at first the responsibility I was filling for the
responsibility I was filling for the
responsibility I was filling for the child wasn’t a burden at all
child wasn’t a burden at all
child wasn’t a burden at all I rather felt proud of myself which only
I rather felt proud of myself which only
I rather felt proud of myself which only motivated me further and drove my
motivated me further and drove my
motivated me further and drove my perfectionism yet as I was getting older
perfectionism yet as I was getting older
perfectionism yet as I was getting older and my life was getting busier my
and my life was getting busier my
and my life was getting busier my working habits were harder and harder to
working habits were harder and harder to
working habits were harder and harder to sustain it was tougher to keep friends
sustain it was tougher to keep friends
sustain it was tougher to keep friends or other relationships the cycle of
or other relationships the cycle of
or other relationships the cycle of stress and tiredness was never-ending
stress and tiredness was never-ending
stress and tiredness was never-ending because of the over pressure that I
because of the over pressure that I
because of the over pressure that I start on myself and that was the time
start on myself and that was the time
start on myself and that was the time when I realized that I was being a
when I realized that I was being a
when I realized that I was being a perfectionist because of a story that
perfectionist because of a story that
perfectionist because of a story that doesn’t belong to me at first overcoming
doesn’t belong to me at first overcoming
doesn’t belong to me at first overcoming this realization was difficult even the
this realization was difficult even the
this realization was difficult even the attempt was I believed I was already
attempt was I believed I was already
attempt was I believed I was already accustomed to the high expectations and
accustomed to the high expectations and
accustomed to the high expectations and just achieving below the highest level
just achieving below the highest level
just achieving below the highest level was close to impossible however I knew
was close to impossible however I knew
was close to impossible however I knew that that was wrong I forced myself to
that that was wrong I forced myself to
that that was wrong I forced myself to stop being the perfect machine I used to
stop being the perfect machine I used to
stop being the perfect machine I used to be and actively thought about the
be and actively thought about the
be and actively thought about the choices I was taking
choices I was taking
choices I was taking chose the option to be selfish for the
chose the option to be selfish for the
chose the option to be selfish for the first time I chose the option to
first time I chose the option to
first time I chose the option to redesign my own life by setting more
redesign my own life by setting more
redesign my own life by setting more realistic goals and freaking out what my
realistic goals and freaking out what my
realistic goals and freaking out what my values actually were I realized that
values actually were I realized that
values actually were I realized that imperfect results do not lead to the
imperfect results do not lead to the
imperfect results do not lead to the punitive consequences that I have
punitive consequences that I have
punitive consequences that I have expected and feared I was able to see
expected and feared I was able to see
expected and feared I was able to see that it is possible to be the same
that it is possible to be the same
that it is possible to be the same daughter same friend and a student that
daughter same friend and a student that
daughter same friend and a student that or without being what I consider to be
or without being what I consider to be
or without being what I consider to be perfect actually
perfect actually
perfect actually I don’t consider myself perfectionist
I don’t consider myself perfectionist
I don’t consider myself perfectionist anymore so now I liked you to go back to
anymore so now I liked you to go back to
anymore so now I liked you to go back to that word that you chose to describe
that word that you chose to describe
that word that you chose to describe yourself does it really reflect your
yourself does it really reflect your
yourself does it really reflect your true inner values both your strengths
true inner values both your strengths
true inner values both your strengths and weaknesses for me rather than the
and weaknesses for me rather than the
and weaknesses for me rather than the word perfectionist organized fits me
word perfectionist organized fits me
word perfectionist organized fits me better and as I know now realizing what
better and as I know now realizing what
better and as I know now realizing what truly disgust me is a lifelong process
truly disgust me is a lifelong process
truly disgust me is a lifelong process so I challenge you to keep questioning
so I challenge you to keep questioning
so I challenge you to keep questioning yourself or your expectations solely set
yourself or your expectations solely set
yourself or your expectations solely set by yourself
by yourself
by yourself are they truly what you want thank you
”
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