[Music] you know I was I was like trying to come
you know I was I was like trying to come
you know I was I was like trying to come up with the title for the talk and I was
up with the title for the talk and I was
up with the title for the talk and I was like how can I do this so that
like how can I do this so that
like how can I do this so that everything I say is a surprise and I
everything I say is a surprise and I
everything I say is a surprise and I realized I couldn’t so I have a very a
realized I couldn’t so I have a very a
realized I couldn’t so I have a very a title that gives you a lot about me and
title that gives you a lot about me and
title that gives you a lot about me and you’re going to end up hearing a lot
you’re going to end up hearing a lot
you’re going to end up hearing a lot more by the end of it so I I chose some
more by the end of it so I I chose some
more by the end of it so I I chose some quotes and you’ll see those and I’ll not
quotes and you’ll see those and I’ll not
quotes and you’ll see those and I’ll not gonna read him to you but I just want to
gonna read him to you but I just want to
gonna read him to you but I just want to I’m gonna address this one specifically
I’m gonna address this one specifically
I’m gonna address this one specifically I like that how far back must you go to
I like that how far back must you go to
I like that how far back must you go to discover the beginning of the trouble
discover the beginning of the trouble
discover the beginning of the trouble because I can kind of go back to a time
because I can kind of go back to a time
because I can kind of go back to a time when I was not so nervous as an
when I was not so nervous as an
when I was not so nervous as an individual and anxious and I mean and I
individual and anxious and I mean and I
individual and anxious and I mean and I think that time my parents will tell you
think that time my parents will tell you
think that time my parents will tell you was October 27 1999 the day of my birth
was October 27 1999 the day of my birth
was October 27 1999 the day of my birth that was the last moment I wasn’t
that was the last moment I wasn’t
that was the last moment I wasn’t anxious so that was also the first
anxious so that was also the first
anxious so that was also the first moment that I was on the spectrum
moment that I was on the spectrum
moment that I was on the spectrum something I like to point out I wasn’t
something I like to point out I wasn’t
something I like to point out I wasn’t on the spectrum when I was diagnosed
on the spectrum when I was diagnosed
on the spectrum when I was diagnosed when I was 8 I was on the spectrum when
when I was 8 I was on the spectrum when
when I was 8 I was on the spectrum when I was born on October 27 1999 so I I was
I was born on October 27 1999 so I I was
I was born on October 27 1999 so I I was a relatively happy child you know as
a relatively happy child you know as
a relatively happy child you know as happy as I could be and I started school
happy as I could be and I started school
happy as I could be and I started school when I was I started school a little bit
when I was I started school a little bit
when I was I started school a little bit younger because I’m born in October so a
younger because I’m born in October so a
younger because I’m born in October so a little bit younger but I was kind of a
little bit younger but I was kind of a
little bit younger but I was kind of a little bit ahead of my classmates which
little bit ahead of my classmates which
little bit ahead of my classmates which everyone noticed and my parents took
everyone noticed and my parents took
everyone noticed and my parents took notice too but the school didn’t want to
notice too but the school didn’t want to
notice too but the school didn’t want to take notice too and I finished that
take notice too and I finished that
take notice too and I finished that school I finished my first school in
school I finished my first school in
school I finished my first school in kindergarten and had to switch schools
kindergarten and had to switch schools
kindergarten and had to switch schools because my classmates didn’t like me and
because my classmates didn’t like me and
because my classmates didn’t like me and it kind of became this pattern where I
it kind of became this pattern where I
it kind of became this pattern where I went the maximum time I ever spent at a
went the maximum time I ever spent at a
went the maximum time I ever spent at a school was 5 years and that was 1st
school was 5 years and that was 1st
school was 5 years and that was 1st through 5th grade and I switched again
through 5th grade and I switched again
through 5th grade and I switched again in sixth grade I switched to 7th I
in sixth grade I switched to 7th I
in sixth grade I switched to 7th I switched after ninth
switched after ninth
switched after ninth I switched after eleventh and I’m in
I switched after eleventh and I’m in
I switched after eleventh and I’m in college and I’m trying not to switch
college and I’m trying not to switch
college and I’m trying not to switch again but I remember I finished up fifth
again but I remember I finished up fifth
again but I remember I finished up fifth grade and I was I was having a really
grade and I was I was having a really
grade and I was I was having a really hard time it was I was really
hard time it was I was really
hard time it was I was really discovering the depths of how anxious I
discovering the depths of how anxious I
discovering the depths of how anxious I could get
could get
could get and we went on a trip to Disney and I
and we went on a trip to Disney and I
and we went on a trip to Disney and I ended up I’m gluten free and I ended up
ended up I’m gluten free and I ended up
ended up I’m gluten free and I ended up eating gluten and I had a reaction and
eating gluten and I had a reaction and
eating gluten and I had a reaction and my parents said like well you know I
my parents said like well you know I
my parents said like well you know I used to have this rule that was like I
used to have this rule that was like I
used to have this rule that was like I can’t use my computer you know whatever
can’t use my computer you know whatever
can’t use my computer you know whatever I bring up my trip I can’t use my screen
I bring up my trip I can’t use my screen
I bring up my trip I can’t use my screen more than a half an hour a day and or
more than a half an hour a day and or
more than a half an hour a day and or something apparently I set up for myself
something apparently I set up for myself
something apparently I set up for myself that wasn’t my parents I loved the rules
that wasn’t my parents I loved the rules
that wasn’t my parents I loved the rules and so I was using it and I was feeling
and so I was using it and I was feeling
and so I was using it and I was feeling better and that was great and then I got
better and that was great and then I got
better and that was great and then I got home and I was starting in a new school
home and I was starting in a new school
home and I was starting in a new school and I was really nervous because there
and I was really nervous because there
and I was really nervous because there were all these kids I didn’t know and
were all these kids I didn’t know and
were all these kids I didn’t know and they had all known each other since
they had all known each other since
they had all known each other since kindergarten and so I kept using my
kindergarten and so I kept using my
kindergarten and so I kept using my computer when I got home and it made me
computer when I got home and it made me
computer when I got home and it made me feel better and I didn’t really think of
feel better and I didn’t really think of
feel better and I didn’t really think of it that much in a way like it was like
it that much in a way like it was like
it that much in a way like it was like it seemed very normal like everyone was
it seemed very normal like everyone was
it seemed very normal like everyone was just using a computer or you know using
just using a computer or you know using
just using a computer or you know using their D s and so I was like okay you
their D s and so I was like okay you
their D s and so I was like okay you know I’m you know I’m doing good and I
know I’m you know I’m doing good and I
know I’m you know I’m doing good and I got anxiety medication in me and then I
got anxiety medication in me and then I
got anxiety medication in me and then I I finished up in sixth grade I switched
I finished up in sixth grade I switched
I finished up in sixth grade I switched schools again and I went to an all-boys
schools again and I went to an all-boys
schools again and I went to an all-boys male school which with my personality
male school which with my personality
male school which with my personality did not mesh well so I’m at this
did not mesh well so I’m at this
did not mesh well so I’m at this all-boys school I get to ninth grade and
all-boys school I get to ninth grade and
all-boys school I get to ninth grade and I actually got to the second day of 10th
I actually got to the second day of 10th
I actually got to the second day of 10th grade I say 9th grade because it’s last
grade I say 9th grade because it’s last
grade I say 9th grade because it’s last I’m sorry got to the second day of 10th
I’m sorry got to the second day of 10th
I’m sorry got to the second day of 10th grade and this the counselor that was
grade and this the counselor that was
grade and this the counselor that was assigned to me through the state or
assigned to me through the state or
assigned to me through the state or through the the county said you’re you
through the the county said you’re you
through the the county said you’re you you’re not going back to classes you’re
you’re not going back to classes you’re
you’re not going back to classes you’re not going back to the school you’re
not going back to the school you’re
not going back to the school you’re leaving now and you’re not going back
leaving now and you’re not going back
leaving now and you’re not going back and then I went to my therapist and she
and then I went to my therapist and she
and then I went to my therapist and she said Dylan I’m not you know you cannot
said Dylan I’m not you know you cannot
said Dylan I’m not you know you cannot go back into that school your mental
go back into that school your mental
go back into that school your mental health has just deteriorated I was like
health has just deteriorated I was like
health has just deteriorated I was like okay you know I’m you know I’m very
okay you know I’m you know I’m very
okay you know I’m you know I’m very happy you know it’s time to start
happy you know it’s time to start
happy you know it’s time to start something new so I went to online school
something new so I went to online school
something new so I went to online school which was really cool for a while but
which was really cool for a while but
which was really cool for a while but then I found that you know I was on my
then I found that you know I was on my
then I found that you know I was on my computer every single day and it was I
computer every single day and it was I
computer every single day and it was I woke up at 7 in the morning to start
woke up at 7 in the morning to start
woke up at 7 in the morning to start class work at 8 and I was putting away
class work at 8 and I was putting away
class work at 8 and I was putting away my work at 9 and every single day I was
my work at 9 and every single day I was
my work at 9 and every single day I was in front of my screen doing work all the
in front of my screen doing work all the
in front of my screen doing work all the time and I still thought it was fine
time and I still thought it was fine
time and I still thought it was fine like that’s normal like people want to
like that’s normal like people want to
like that’s normal like people want to do school work and I didn’t realize that
do school work and I didn’t realize that
do school work and I didn’t realize that that wasn’t normal because people don’t
that wasn’t normal because people don’t
that wasn’t normal because people don’t want to do school work but I wanted to
want to do school work but I wanted to
want to do school work but I wanted to do school work
do school work
do school work then I get to 11th grade and I was tired
then I get to 11th grade and I was tired
then I get to 11th grade and I was tired I mean two years I was online schooled
I mean two years I was online schooled
I mean two years I was online schooled and I was really tired of sitting alone
and I was really tired of sitting alone
and I was really tired of sitting alone in my bedroom every single day so I was
in my bedroom every single day so I was
in my bedroom every single day so I was switching to a new school was actually
switching to a new school was actually
switching to a new school was actually I’d done my tax talk they invited me to
I’d done my tax talk they invited me to
I’d done my tax talk they invited me to go I was really excited and then I as a
go I was really excited and then I as a
go I was really excited and then I as a child has to do at some point I got my
child has to do at some point I got my
child has to do at some point I got my wisdom teeth out so I was very anxious I
wisdom teeth out so I was very anxious I
wisdom teeth out so I was very anxious I went into the doctor’s office they
went into the doctor’s office they
went into the doctor’s office they explained everything to me seven times I
explained everything to me seven times I
explained everything to me seven times I you know they brought me in they numbed
you know they brought me in they numbed
you know they brought me in they numbed my arms they put the needle in me I
my arms they put the needle in me I
my arms they put the needle in me I remember my vision splitting in two and
remember my vision splitting in two and
remember my vision splitting in two and then I woke up and I was happy and I
then I woke up and I was happy and I
then I woke up and I was happy and I sucked for three hours and then I did
sucked for three hours and then I did
sucked for three hours and then I did you know twelve English assignments and
you know twelve English assignments and
you know twelve English assignments and got a hundred on all of them in a day
got a hundred on all of them in a day
got a hundred on all of them in a day and then at the end of a day and a half
and then at the end of a day and a half
and then at the end of a day and a half I was still pretty happy and I fell
I was still pretty happy and I fell
I was still pretty happy and I fell asleep and then the next day I woke up I
asleep and then the next day I woke up I
asleep and then the next day I woke up I did not feel well I was very nauseous I
did not feel well I was very nauseous I
did not feel well I was very nauseous I was sweaty clammy shaking and I was like
was sweaty clammy shaking and I was like
was sweaty clammy shaking and I was like why it was like it’s all it’s all gone
why it was like it’s all it’s all gone
why it was like it’s all it’s all gone away I was so happy what happened what
away I was so happy what happened what
away I was so happy what happened what happened and so you know we took a look
happened and so you know we took a look
happened and so you know we took a look at the the sheet stuff and when they put
at the the sheet stuff and when they put
at the the sheet stuff and when they put you under with IV anesthetic they give
you under with IV anesthetic they give
you under with IV anesthetic they give you the cocktail the cocktail of the
you the cocktail the cocktail of the
you the cocktail the cocktail of the different drugs one of the drugs that
different drugs one of the drugs that
different drugs one of the drugs that they happen to give me was fentanyl and
they happen to give me was fentanyl and
they happen to give me was fentanyl and I reacted very well to it reacted very
I reacted very well to it reacted very
I reacted very well to it reacted very well to it and then I didn’t react so
well to it and then I didn’t react so
well to it and then I didn’t react so well to it and then there was a month of
well to it and then there was a month of
well to it and then there was a month of me going well the doctor put a
me going well the doctor put a
me going well the doctor put a prescription for vicodin and at the
prescription for vicodin and at the
prescription for vicodin and at the pharmacy and that’ll make me feel happy
pharmacy and that’ll make me feel happy
pharmacy and that’ll make me feel happy and I just wanted to feel happy and I
and I just wanted to feel happy and I
and I just wanted to feel happy and I was switching schools again and I was
was switching schools again and I was
was switching schools again and I was actually sitting the other day and I was
actually sitting the other day and I was
actually sitting the other day and I was like I was switching schools and I was
like I was switching schools and I was
like I was switching schools and I was never kind of dealing with my problem
never kind of dealing with my problem
never kind of dealing with my problem and so every single time that I was
and so every single time that I was
and so every single time that I was switching these schools every single
switching these schools every single
switching these schools every single time that I would get anxious I would
time that I would get anxious I would
time that I would get anxious I would find something new to just distract
find something new to just distract
find something new to just distract myself it was all about functioning it
myself it was all about functioning it
myself it was all about functioning it was moving forward it was how do I move
was moving forward it was how do I move
was moving forward it was how do I move forward and complete my next task
forward and complete my next task
forward and complete my next task because that’s all that matters that’s
because that’s all that matters that’s
because that’s all that matters that’s all that mattered to me and so when I
all that mattered to me and so when I
all that mattered to me and so when I got to twelfth grade I was you know I
got to twelfth grade I was you know I
got to twelfth grade I was you know I was recovered it had been you know I had
was recovered it had been you know I had
was recovered it had been you know I had a month before I had to go back into
a month before I had to go back into
a month before I had to go back into school
school
school I hadn’t you know I had a tough time I
I hadn’t you know I had a tough time I
I hadn’t you know I had a tough time I don’t always get along with my
don’t always get along with my
don’t always get along with my classmates so you know I every once in a
classmates so you know I every once in a
classmates so you know I every once in a while it was like I you know maybe like
while it was like I you know maybe like
while it was like I you know maybe like something would be nice to just kind of
something would be nice to just kind of
something would be nice to just kind of comment and I was like yeah you know I
comment and I was like yeah you know I
comment and I was like yeah you know I can take my anti-anxiety medication you
can take my anti-anxiety medication you
can take my anti-anxiety medication you know that works okay works pretty well
know that works okay works pretty well
know that works okay works pretty well and I can use my tools and I got off to
and I can use my tools and I got off to
and I can use my tools and I got off to college and college is a different
college and college is a different
college and college is a different situation College is a place where all
situation College is a place where all
situation College is a place where all of these kids come and for the first
of these kids come and for the first
of these kids come and for the first time they’re free and they can go and do
time they’re free and they can go and do
time they’re free and they can go and do what they want and I kind of realized
what they want and I kind of realized
what they want and I kind of realized that I couldn’t very early on because I
that I couldn’t very early on because I
that I couldn’t very early on because I like the rules and so I wasn’t going and
like the rules and so I wasn’t going and
like the rules and so I wasn’t going and doing whatever I wanted but I started to
doing whatever I wanted but I started to
doing whatever I wanted but I started to meet people and I realized that they
meet people and I realized that they
meet people and I realized that they were going out and doing all these
were going out and doing all these
were going out and doing all these things that they wanted to do and I was
things that they wanted to do and I was
things that they wanted to do and I was like okay and I was like classes are
like okay and I was like classes are
like okay and I was like classes are stressing me out you know be really nice
stressing me out you know be really nice
stressing me out you know be really nice if I could do that too and it just so
if I could do that too and it just so
if I could do that too and it just so happened that on my birthday I I was
happened that on my birthday I I was
happened that on my birthday I I was completely sober and I would you wanna
completely sober and I would you wanna
completely sober and I would you wanna make that clear because I was with two
make that clear because I was with two
make that clear because I was with two of my friends for my birthday or
of my friends for my birthday or
of my friends for my birthday or watching a movie I have a cough so I
watching a movie I have a cough so I
watching a movie I have a cough so I used my inhaler I spit out the water
used my inhaler I spit out the water
used my inhaler I spit out the water because that’s what you do afterwards
because that’s what you do afterwards
because that’s what you do afterwards and I lifted my head into a door and
and I lifted my head into a door and
and I lifted my head into a door and sliced my head open a little bit
sliced my head open a little bit
sliced my head open a little bit so Hospital emergency room visit later
so Hospital emergency room visit later
so Hospital emergency room visit later and you know they’re like how Bad’s the
and you know they’re like how Bad’s the
and you know they’re like how Bad’s the pain and the first thought my head was
pain and the first thought my head was
pain and the first thought my head was well the pain is I mean it’s bad I mean
well the pain is I mean it’s bad I mean
well the pain is I mean it’s bad I mean I can handle it but yeah I’m really
I can handle it but yeah I’m really
I can handle it but yeah I’m really stressed like I tell him a little bit
stressed like I tell him a little bit
stressed like I tell him a little bit higher maybe they give me something and
higher maybe they give me something and
higher maybe they give me something and I was like I said to the I said to the
I was like I said to the I said to the
I was like I said to the I said to the doctor I went they said what are you
doctor I went they said what are you
doctor I went they said what are you allergic to and I said I’m allergic to
allergic to and I said I’m allergic to
allergic to and I said I’m allergic to codeine I’m allergic to gluten I have my
codeine I’m allergic to gluten I have my
codeine I’m allergic to gluten I have my seasonal allergies you can’t give me a
seasonal allergies you can’t give me a
seasonal allergies you can’t give me a narcotics it was like the last
narcotics it was like the last
narcotics it was like the last substantive thought that I had in my
substantive thought that I had in my
substantive thought that I had in my head before I just kind of went through
head before I just kind of went through
head before I just kind of went through the rest of the process and I realized
the rest of the process and I realized
the rest of the process and I realized I’m kind of I’m an addict like I need
I’m kind of I’m an addict like I need
I’m kind of I’m an addict like I need something I constantly need something to
something I constantly need something to
something I constantly need something to calm myself down and so I like I you
calm myself down and so I like I you
calm myself down and so I like I you know I called my parents I was like mom
know I called my parents I was like mom
know I called my parents I was like mom dad I think you know you know I know
dad I think you know you know I know
dad I think you know you know I know that we kind of discussed this I think
that we kind of discussed this I think
that we kind of discussed this I think that there’s something bigger like there
that there’s something bigger like there
that there’s something bigger like there might be something worse so it was the
might be something worse so it was the
might be something worse so it was the first time I kind of admitted it myself
first time I kind of admitted it myself
first time I kind of admitted it myself and it was really scary like that is a
and it was really scary like that is a
and it was really scary like that is a scary idea that’s a scary thing to say
scary idea that’s a scary thing to say
scary idea that’s a scary thing to say but it was also really freeing because I
but it was also really freeing because I
but it was also really freeing because I was able to say
was able to say
was able to say you know to a couple people nine people
you know to a couple people nine people
you know to a couple people nine people twelve people was what it was at now
twelve people was what it was at now
twelve people was what it was at now it’s probably at like 150 and once the
it’s probably at like 150 and once the
it’s probably at like 150 and once the video comes out everyone can just look
video comes out everyone can just look
video comes out everyone can just look it up so lots of people now know that
it up so lots of people now know that
it up so lots of people now know that about me so it’s really exciting and
about me so it’s really exciting and
about me so it’s really exciting and it’s really scary and in some way like I
it’s really scary and in some way like I
it’s really scary and in some way like I wanted to go and tell people about it
wanted to go and tell people about it
wanted to go and tell people about it and I know now I am but I kind of I knew
and I know now I am but I kind of I knew
and I know now I am but I kind of I knew a while ago and I can’t I’m you know I
a while ago and I can’t I’m you know I
a while ago and I can’t I’m you know I was I was ashamed like that’s that’s
was I was ashamed like that’s that’s
was I was ashamed like that’s that’s what came up for me like anytime that I
what came up for me like anytime that I
what came up for me like anytime that I would have the thought my hat I was like
would have the thought my hat I was like
would have the thought my hat I was like I can’t tell people cuz this is bad this
I can’t tell people cuz this is bad this
I can’t tell people cuz this is bad this is not me like this not who I am this is
is not me like this not who I am this is
is not me like this not who I am this is a different Dylan this Dylan is bad and
a different Dylan this Dylan is bad and
a different Dylan this Dylan is bad and so I have I you know I I kind of was
so I have I you know I I kind of was
so I have I you know I I kind of was like well where do I go and I can’t go
like well where do I go and I can’t go
like well where do I go and I can’t go like I can’t go to a group I can’t sit
like I can’t go to a group I can’t sit
like I can’t go to a group I can’t sit in front of people I’m on the spectrum I
in front of people I’m on the spectrum I
in front of people I’m on the spectrum I one I’m anxious and two I don’t really
one I’m anxious and two I don’t really
one I’m anxious and two I don’t really know how to communicate really well in
know how to communicate really well in
know how to communicate really well in this group of people who are very
this group of people who are very
this group of people who are very different with than me I don’t really
different with than me I don’t really
different with than me I don’t really know their names
know their names
know their names I don’t know them the first rule I gave
I don’t know them the first rule I gave
I don’t know them the first rule I gave everyone when I when they told me I had
everyone when I when they told me I had
everyone when I when they told me I had anxiety was I will never do a group and
anxiety was I will never do a group and
anxiety was I will never do a group and I still follow it today so you know all
I still follow it today so you know all
I still follow it today so you know all I can do is go to a therapist which is
I can do is go to a therapist which is
I can do is go to a therapist which is good but it doesn’t solve everything
good but it doesn’t solve everything
good but it doesn’t solve everything because you know you have to find you
because you know you have to find you
because you know you have to find you know it’s about specialization it’s
know it’s about specialization it’s
know it’s about specialization it’s about what they know and it’s about all
about what they know and it’s about all
about what they know and it’s about all of that and so you know it’s it’s
of that and so you know it’s it’s
of that and so you know it’s it’s frustrating I can’t necessarily go and
frustrating I can’t necessarily go and
frustrating I can’t necessarily go and tell people about it because of that and
tell people about it because of that and
tell people about it because of that and I’m up here and I’m telling you about it
I’m up here and I’m telling you about it
I’m up here and I’m telling you about it so for me you know being at college it’s
so for me you know being at college it’s
so for me you know being at college it’s just a lot of people go out on the
just a lot of people go out on the
just a lot of people go out on the weekends and drink like that’s the thing
weekends and drink like that’s the thing
weekends and drink like that’s the thing like I ran people say to me like this is
like I ran people say to me like this is
like I ran people say to me like this is how I relaxed on this is how I feel
how I relaxed on this is how I feel
how I relaxed on this is how I feel better about my day and I like them when
better about my day and I like them when
better about my day and I like them when I go I really wish I could feel my day
I go I really wish I could feel my day
I go I really wish I could feel my day too and I don’t tell them and so I you
too and I don’t tell them and so I you
too and I don’t tell them and so I you know it’s this fear that’s in the back
know it’s this fear that’s in the back
know it’s this fear that’s in the back of my head at all times it’s like when
of my head at all times it’s like when
of my head at all times it’s like when does it happen when do when do when does
does it happen when do when do when does
does it happen when do when do when does someone offer me something and I don’t
someone offer me something and I don’t
someone offer me something and I don’t have that I’ve had it twice in my life
have that I’ve had it twice in my life
have that I’ve had it twice in my life where I said no and I had twice in my
where I said no and I had twice in my
where I said no and I had twice in my life where I keep doing it because I can
life where I keep doing it because I can
life where I keep doing it because I can tell you I’m still constantly working
tell you I’m still constantly working
tell you I’m still constantly working and I’m still constantly on my computer
and I’m still constantly on my computer
and I’m still constantly on my computer so you know when when is the time I
so you know when when is the time I
so you know when when is the time I don’t say no and
don’t say no and
don’t say no and how do I stop it again so it’s really
how do I stop it again so it’s really
how do I stop it again so it’s really scary yeah I just I don’t I don’t know
scary yeah I just I don’t I don’t know
scary yeah I just I don’t I don’t know it’s it’s a totally unknown to me and
it’s it’s a totally unknown to me and
it’s it’s a totally unknown to me and that’s the problem life is really long
that’s the problem life is really long
that’s the problem life is really long and I’m 18 guessing most of you in this
and I’m 18 guessing most of you in this
and I’m 18 guessing most of you in this room are going wow he’s young he he he
room are going wow he’s young he he he
room are going wow he’s young he he he is a whippersnapper which is actually
is a whippersnapper which is actually
is a whippersnapper which is actually something I would say so you know it
something I would say so you know it
something I would say so you know it seems like my life hasn’t been super
seems like my life hasn’t been super
seems like my life hasn’t been super long but I mean I I was born and when
long but I mean I I was born and when
long but I mean I I was born and when you’re diagnosed at seven on the
you’re diagnosed at seven on the
you’re diagnosed at seven on the spectrum like you’re you’re in the
spectrum like you’re you’re in the
spectrum like you’re you’re in the middle late range of diagnosis so
middle late range of diagnosis so
middle late range of diagnosis so they’re like we want to get you to where
they’re like we want to get you to where
they’re like we want to get you to where you need to be right now like you you
you need to be right now like you you
you need to be right now like you you have to learn the social skills right
have to learn the social skills right
have to learn the social skills right now and then people will understand you
now and then people will understand you
now and then people will understand you they will like you you will be able to
they will like you you will be able to
they will like you you will be able to do this your life will be great and it’s
do this your life will be great and it’s
do this your life will be great and it’s not because I the day before you know a
not because I the day before you know a
not because I the day before you know a week before I’m off to college I said to
week before I’m off to college I said to
week before I’m off to college I said to my therapist I was like I don’t I don’t
my therapist I was like I don’t I don’t
my therapist I was like I don’t I don’t it I’ve gone to six schools how do I
it I’ve gone to six schools how do I
it I’ve gone to six schools how do I know seven is going to work and she’s
know seven is going to work and she’s
know seven is going to work and she’s like don’t I don’t really think that
like don’t I don’t really think that
like don’t I don’t really think that this like the training is doing that
this like the training is doing that
this like the training is doing that much for you like you can’t you can’t
much for you like you can’t you can’t
much for you like you can’t you can’t learn you can’t learn more when everyone
learn you can’t learn more when everyone
learn you can’t learn more when everyone else around you can’t give you the rest
else around you can’t give you the rest
else around you can’t give you the rest of you know when you’re offering 75%
of you know when you’re offering 75%
of you know when you’re offering 75% there are only offering 25% of course
there are only offering 25% of course
there are only offering 25% of course it’s going to be really stressful the
it’s going to be really stressful the
it’s going to be really stressful the problem is if they don’t know how to
problem is if they don’t know how to
problem is if they don’t know how to offer fifty percent and you do then
offer fifty percent and you do then
offer fifty percent and you do then you’re always going to have this
you’re always going to have this
you’re always going to have this disconnect and so you know I really I
disconnect and so you know I really I
disconnect and so you know I really I really do have this disconnect with
really do have this disconnect with
really do have this disconnect with people I I don’t quite understand it and
people I I don’t quite understand it and
people I I don’t quite understand it and I got all this training and I walked
I got all this training and I walked
I got all this training and I walked through one fire I really did I learned
through one fire I really did I learned
through one fire I really did I learned I got beaten up I got multiple
I got beaten up I got multiple
I got beaten up I got multiple concussions that’s what happens when you
concussions that’s what happens when you
concussions that’s what happens when you play football without helmets at an
play football without helmets at an
play football without helmets at an all-boys school you know I I did I
all-boys school you know I I did I
all-boys school you know I I did I walked through one fire and I walked
walked through one fire and I walked
walked through one fire and I walked through a second one when I realized
through a second one when I realized
through a second one when I realized that I was coping through these very
that I was coping through these very
that I was coping through these very unhealthy means and then I realized that
unhealthy means and then I realized that
unhealthy means and then I realized that I have to walk through another one in
I have to walk through another one in
I have to walk through another one in the way that I
the way that I
the way that I all of these skills and I have to
all of these skills and I have to
all of these skills and I have to unlearn them I have to unlearn all these
unlearn them I have to unlearn all these
unlearn them I have to unlearn all these skills because they’re not these these
skills because they’re not these these
skills because they’re not these these are the things that in between the
are the things that in between the
are the things that in between the schools that’s what they were teaching
schools that’s what they were teaching
schools that’s what they were teaching me they were saying Dylan if you did
me they were saying Dylan if you did
me they were saying Dylan if you did this they’ll like you more and it
this they’ll like you more and it
this they’ll like you more and it doesn’t matter because they won’t like
doesn’t matter because they won’t like
doesn’t matter because they won’t like me more because I learned some skill
me more because I learned some skill
me more because I learned some skill instead it just makes me really dislike
instead it just makes me really dislike
instead it just makes me really dislike myself more and so you know when I go
myself more and so you know when I go
myself more and so you know when I go back to school
back to school
back to school there’ll be a lot of kids who say to me
there’ll be a lot of kids who say to me
there’ll be a lot of kids who say to me Dylan it’s so amazing you you did
Dylan it’s so amazing you you did
Dylan it’s so amazing you you did another TED talk and I have people say
another TED talk and I have people say
another TED talk and I have people say you know Dylan it’s amazing you did it
you know Dylan it’s amazing you did it
you know Dylan it’s amazing you did it you wrote a book Dylan that’s amazing
you wrote a book Dylan that’s amazing
you wrote a book Dylan that’s amazing you did a TED talk before or Dylan you
you did a TED talk before or Dylan you
you did a TED talk before or Dylan you know you do all this stuff it’s amazing
know you do all this stuff it’s amazing
know you do all this stuff it’s amazing you must be so happy I’m not I’m really
you must be so happy I’m not I’m really
you must be so happy I’m not I’m really not I’m not a happy person because it’s
not I’m not a happy person because it’s
not I’m not a happy person because it’s not it’s not helping it’s not you know
not it’s not helping it’s not you know
not it’s not helping it’s not you know there’s nothing there’s nothing about
there’s nothing there’s nothing about
there’s nothing there’s nothing about that that really works there’s no amount
that that really works there’s no amount
that that really works there’s no amount of achievement that makes people like
of achievement that makes people like
of achievement that makes people like you and there’s no amount of achievement
you and there’s no amount of achievement
you and there’s no amount of achievement for me in the way that I’m not achieving
for me in the way that I’m not achieving
for me in the way that I’m not achieving because I want like I want to help
because I want like I want to help
because I want like I want to help people but I’m not that’s not my main
people but I’m not that’s not my main
people but I’m not that’s not my main reason and it’s not always clear to me
reason and it’s not always clear to me
reason and it’s not always clear to me so you know I get up here and I talk to
so you know I get up here and I talk to
so you know I get up here and I talk to you guys and like yes I want to help
you guys and like yes I want to help
you guys and like yes I want to help people on the spectrum who are suffering
people on the spectrum who are suffering
people on the spectrum who are suffering through similar things but in all
through similar things but in all
through similar things but in all reality and I realize this probably
reality and I realize this probably
reality and I realize this probably about a week ago I’m doing this because
about a week ago I’m doing this because
about a week ago I’m doing this because I want people to stop being mean to me
I want people to stop being mean to me
I want people to stop being mean to me but it’s not the people right now we’re
but it’s not the people right now we’re
but it’s not the people right now we’re being mean to me I want the people from
being mean to me I want the people from
being mean to me I want the people from five years ago to be nice to me five
five years ago to be nice to me five
five years ago to be nice to me five years ago but that’s not how it works
years ago but that’s not how it works
years ago but that’s not how it works I can’t do that I can’t make them like
I can’t do that I can’t make them like
I can’t do that I can’t make them like me five years ago because I’m in now and
me five years ago because I’m in now and
me five years ago because I’m in now and I’m not back then but it’s really hard
I’m not back then but it’s really hard
I’m not back then but it’s really hard because I can’t like Dylan up here
because I can’t like Dylan up here
because I can’t like Dylan up here talking to you guys is a lot different
talking to you guys is a lot different
talking to you guys is a lot different than Dylan in a situation talking to
than Dylan in a situation talking to
than Dylan in a situation talking to people where someone says something and
people where someone says something and
people where someone says something and I just look in the back of the room and
I just look in the back of the room and
I just look in the back of the room and I start remembering something and then I
I start remembering something and then I
I start remembering something and then I need to go and achieve something so that
need to go and achieve something so that
need to go and achieve something so that everyone will look up to me but it’s not
everyone will look up to me but it’s not
everyone will look up to me but it’s not working because that’s not what I want I
working because that’s not what I want I
working because that’s not what I want I just want everyone to I want everyone to
just want everyone to I want everyone to
just want everyone to I want everyone to stop I want I want everyone from five
stop I want I want everyone from five
stop I want I want everyone from five ten any number of years ago to just stop
ten any number of years ago to just stop
ten any number of years ago to just stop hitting me and it doesn’t work and so
hitting me and it doesn’t work and so
hitting me and it doesn’t work and so being on my computer all the time
being on my computer all the time
being on my computer all the time doesn’t work being on
doesn’t work being on
doesn’t work being on doing work all the time doesn’t work
doing work all the time doesn’t work
doing work all the time doesn’t work using fentanyl works in a way but it’s
using fentanyl works in a way but it’s
using fentanyl works in a way but it’s not healthy like that’s not the way to
not healthy like that’s not the way to
not healthy like that’s not the way to go with life that is not what I want
go with life that is not what I want
go with life that is not what I want that’s not who I wanted to be it’s not
that’s not who I wanted to be it’s not
that’s not who I wanted to be it’s not what I imagined for myself I had talked
what I imagined for myself I had talked
what I imagined for myself I had talked I had said something about normal in my
I had said something about normal in my
I had said something about normal in my last talk like we have this idea of
last talk like we have this idea of
last talk like we have this idea of normal and we do and I don’t I think
normal and we do and I don’t I think
normal and we do and I don’t I think that the problem is is that normal isn’t
that the problem is is that normal isn’t
that the problem is is that normal isn’t good
good
good normal is very bad normal is a very bad
normal is very bad normal is a very bad
normal is very bad normal is a very bad concept because you’ll never be normal
concept because you’ll never be normal
concept because you’ll never be normal no one in this room will be normal I
no one in this room will be normal I
no one in this room will be normal I don’t care if you’re on the spectrum I
don’t care if you’re on the spectrum I
don’t care if you’re on the spectrum I don’t care if you’re a neurotypical
don’t care if you’re a neurotypical
don’t care if you’re a neurotypical which is what we call you if you didn’t
which is what we call you if you didn’t
which is what we call you if you didn’t know that so you know I can’t I can’t be
know that so you know I can’t I can’t be
know that so you know I can’t I can’t be normal you can’t be normal everyone
normal you can’t be normal everyone
normal you can’t be normal everyone trying to get to normal isn’t making
trying to get to normal isn’t making
trying to get to normal isn’t making things better so I mean I like to leave
things better so I mean I like to leave
things better so I mean I like to leave people with one thought and my one
people with one thought and my one
people with one thought and my one thought for you is normal as bad just be
thought for you is normal as bad just be
thought for you is normal as bad just be weird just be weird your brain all of
weird just be weird your brain all of
weird just be weird your brain all of our brains work differently just be
our brains work differently just be
our brains work differently just be weird
weird
weird [Applause]
”
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