[Music] [Applause]
some a registered dietitian a food
some a registered dietitian a food expert that loves what he does on a day
expert that loves what he does on a day
expert that loves what he does on a day to day basis I get the opportunity not
to day basis I get the opportunity not
to day basis I get the opportunity not only to teach you about how to go about
only to teach you about how to go about
only to teach you about how to go about your health but help you develop a
your health but help you develop a
your health but help you develop a relationship with food and I love what I
relationship with food and I love what I
relationship with food and I love what I do on a day to day basis I get to help
do on a day to day basis I get to help
do on a day to day basis I get to help athletes children families you name it
athletes children families you name it
athletes children families you name it probably the coolest part about what I
probably the coolest part about what I
probably the coolest part about what I do is helping those find recovery that
do is helping those find recovery that
do is helping those find recovery that struggle with eating disorders not just
struggle with eating disorders not just
struggle with eating disorders not just from the eating disorder itself for from
from the eating disorder itself for from
from the eating disorder itself for from that pesky negative self-talk that has
that pesky negative self-talk that has
that pesky negative self-talk that has you questioning all of your food choices
you questioning all of your food choices
you questioning all of your food choices do you wanna slike to constantly
do you wanna slike to constantly
do you wanna slike to constantly question your food choices I bet some of
question your food choices I bet some of
question your food choices I bet some of you do you see you teach recovery with
you do you see you teach recovery with
you do you see you teach recovery with interaction you help the client interact
interaction you help the client interact
interaction you help the client interact with food and then you do it over and
with food and then you do it over and
with food and then you do it over and over and over again until they get to a
over and over again until they get to a
over and over again until they get to a point where they can enjoy a donut or
point where they can enjoy a donut or
point where they can enjoy a donut or Nava cotta for the first time in a long
Nava cotta for the first time in a long
Nava cotta for the first time in a long time and then live to tell you about it
time and then live to tell you about it
time and then live to tell you about it I can tell you that both of us get super
I can tell you that both of us get super
I can tell you that both of us get super hyped about the experience I’ve always
hyped about the experience I’ve always
hyped about the experience I’ve always felt really good about doing this like I
felt really good about doing this like I
felt really good about doing this like I was meant to do this I teach people how
was meant to do this I teach people how
was meant to do this I teach people how to eat if I can teach those people and I
to eat if I can teach those people and I
to eat if I can teach those people and I can teach anyone what I haven’t told you
can teach anyone what I haven’t told you
can teach anyone what I haven’t told you is that I’m also a dietitian and a food
is that I’m also a dietitian and a food
is that I’m also a dietitian and a food expert that was unfit unable and
expert that was unfit unable and
expert that was unfit unable and incapable of feeding his own daughter
can imagine the blow that my ego took
can imagine the blow that my ego took when I realized this it all started with
when I realized this it all started with
when I realized this it all started with my daughter Rory was about three months
my daughter Rory was about three months
my daughter Rory was about three months old my wife Callie had to go back to
old my wife Callie had to go back to
old my wife Callie had to go back to work from maternity leave and it was me
work from maternity leave and it was me
work from maternity leave and it was me all alone with this little amazing
all alone with this little amazing
all alone with this little amazing terror
she may look adorable but have you ever
she may look adorable but have you ever pissed off a hungry baby you ever pissed
pissed off a hungry baby you ever pissed
pissed off a hungry baby you ever pissed off a hungry baby that missed her mom
off a hungry baby that missed her mom
off a hungry baby that missed her mom you ever pissed off a hungry baby that
you ever pissed off a hungry baby that
you ever pissed off a hungry baby that missed her mom amidst the warmth love
missed her mom amidst the warmth love
missed her mom amidst the warmth love and nourishment of boobs I don’t have
and nourishment of boobs I don’t have
and nourishment of boobs I don’t have those the first couple of days are
those the first couple of days are
those the first couple of days are trying to introduce the bottle was
trying to introduce the bottle was
trying to introduce the bottle was complete chaos each and every time was
complete chaos each and every time was
complete chaos each and every time was unsuccessful it would end in crying in
unsuccessful it would end in crying in
unsuccessful it would end in crying in tears and in tantrums followed by a
tears and in tantrums followed by a
tears and in tantrums followed by a complete collapse into exhaustion
complete collapse into exhaustion
complete collapse into exhaustion Rory might have had some feelings too
Rory might have had some feelings too
Rory might have had some feelings too I’m not really sure after about a week
I’m not really sure after about a week
I’m not really sure after about a week straight of this happening Kelly and I
straight of this happening Kelly and I
straight of this happening Kelly and I had argued enough about what we were
had argued enough about what we were
had argued enough about what we were doing what we what I wasn’t doing that
doing what we what I wasn’t doing that
doing what we what I wasn’t doing that we decided to seek the counsel of a
we decided to seek the counsel of a
we decided to seek the counsel of a feeding expert this was new for me upon
feeding expert this was new for me upon
feeding expert this was new for me upon getting there it hit me I was no longer
getting there it hit me I was no longer
getting there it hit me I was no longer the expert in the room I was the client
the expert in the room I was the client
the expert in the room I was the client this threw me for an absolute loop I
this threw me for an absolute loop I
this threw me for an absolute loop I started telling myself things like
started telling myself things like
started telling myself things like really does food expert you literally
really does food expert you literally
really does food expert you literally just starve your brand-new baby does for
just starve your brand-new baby does for
just starve your brand-new baby does for real you’re gonna provide for your girls
real you’re gonna provide for your girls
real you’re gonna provide for your girls doing this I hated myself as a dietitian
doing this I hated myself as a dietitian
doing this I hated myself as a dietitian hated myself as a husband let’s get real
hated myself as a husband let’s get real
hated myself as a husband let’s get real I hated myself as a new dad but what
I hated myself as a new dad but what
I hated myself as a new dad but what followed the appointment was an
followed the appointment was an
followed the appointment was an opportunity for me to lean on my own
opportunity for me to lean on my own
opportunity for me to lean on my own understanding with feeding and to dive
understanding with feeding and to dive
understanding with feeding and to dive into the research try to figure out what
into the research try to figure out what
into the research try to figure out what the heck was going on and what I found
the heck was going on and what I found
the heck was going on and what I found has absolutely changed the way that I
has absolutely changed the way that I
has absolutely changed the way that I practice my profession and even more so
practice my profession and even more so
practice my profession and even more so the way that I practice being a dad
the way that I practice being a dad
the way that I practice being a dad check it out so what we know about
check it out so what we know about
check it out so what we know about feeding is that there’s a give-and-take
feeding is that there’s a give-and-take
feeding is that there’s a give-and-take relationship between parents and
relationship between parents and
relationship between parents and children but the parents are responsible
children but the parents are responsible
children but the parents are responsible for what the child eats when the child
for what the child eats when the child
for what the child eats when the child eats and where the child eats kids on
eats and where the child eats kids on
eats and where the child eats kids on the other hand are responsible for how
the other hand are responsible for how
the other hand are responsible for how much they eat what they eat and whether
much they eat what they eat and whether
much they eat what they eat and whether or not they’re even willing to touch the
or not they’re even willing to touch the
or not they’re even willing to touch the thing that you spent three hours making
thing that you spent three hours making
thing that you spent three hours making for them
Rory is not willing to touch anything
Rory is not willing to touch anything that I made on this occasion and any
that I made on this occasion and any
that I made on this occasion and any other occasion past 7:00 p.m. it’s great
other occasion past 7:00 p.m. it’s great
other occasion past 7:00 p.m. it’s great you see the good thing about Rory and
you see the good thing about Rory and
you see the good thing about Rory and other kids is that they’re able to eat
other kids is that they’re able to eat
other kids is that they’re able to eat healthy diets they fixate on things like
healthy diets they fixate on things like
healthy diets they fixate on things like taste and texture and the experience of
taste and texture and the experience of
taste and texture and the experience of food which obviously gives them an
food which obviously gives them an
food which obviously gives them an opportunity to eat variety see whole
opportunity to eat variety see whole
opportunity to eat variety see whole grains protein fruits veggies you name
grains protein fruits veggies you name
grains protein fruits veggies you name it I often have frantic parents coming
it I often have frantic parents coming
it I often have frantic parents coming to me saying my kid hates fruits and
to me saying my kid hates fruits and
to me saying my kid hates fruits and veggies or they’ll only eat chicken
veggies or they’ll only eat chicken
veggies or they’ll only eat chicken nuggets you see this isn’t possible
nuggets you see this isn’t possible
nuggets you see this isn’t possible because we have a mechanism inside of us
because we have a mechanism inside of us
because we have a mechanism inside of us that drives variety here’s an example do
that drives variety here’s an example do
that drives variety here’s an example do me a favor and think of your favorite
me a favor and think of your favorite
me a favor and think of your favorite food right now do you have it now
food right now do you have it now
food right now do you have it now picture yourself eating that same food
picture yourself eating that same food
picture yourself eating that same food over and over and over again can you
over and over and over again can you
over and over and over again can you imagine a diet chock full of just pizza
imagine a diet chock full of just pizza
imagine a diet chock full of just pizza cookies and ice cream never some of you
cookies and ice cream never some of you
cookies and ice cream never some of you are like yeah children and parents have
are like yeah children and parents have
are like yeah children and parents have got this they can eat healthy diets
got this they can eat healthy diets
got this they can eat healthy diets research shows it so why do we have so
research shows it so why do we have so
research shows it so why do we have so many nutritional diseases out today what
many nutritional diseases out today what
many nutritional diseases out today what disrupts that give-and-take relationship
research tells us that is pressure
research tells us that is pressure perhaps to make your kid finish their
perhaps to make your kid finish their
perhaps to make your kid finish their plate because their starving kids in the
plate because their starving kids in the
plate because their starving kids in the world
world
world it’s the rewards and consequences that
it’s the rewards and consequences that
it’s the rewards and consequences that come with what may or may not happen if
come with what may or may not happen if
come with what may or may not happen if you finish your broccoli and it’s the
you finish your broccoli and it’s the
you finish your broccoli and it’s the limiting of menus keeping
limiting of menus keeping
limiting of menus keeping age-appropriate foods away from kids
age-appropriate foods away from kids
age-appropriate foods away from kids Pisa cookies ice cream think about that
Pisa cookies ice cream think about that
Pisa cookies ice cream think about that for a second so usually what tends to
for a second so usually what tends to
for a second so usually what tends to happen is that parents come in and it’s
happen is that parents come in and it’s
happen is that parents come in and it’s basic education and at that point they
basic education and at that point they
basic education and at that point they can leave and go live healthy lives
can leave and go live healthy lives
can leave and go live healthy lives but with eating disorders it’s a little
but with eating disorders it’s a little
but with eating disorders it’s a little bit different I recently got consulted
bit different I recently got consulted
bit different I recently got consulted to help a child with their eating
to help a child with their eating
to help a child with their eating disorder meet Joanne
disorder meet Joanne
disorder meet Joanne ten years old at a healthy weight was
ten years old at a healthy weight was
ten years old at a healthy weight was bulimic would purge her food three to
bulimic would purge her food three to
bulimic would purge her food three to four times a day and she hated her body
four times a day and she hated her body
four times a day and she hated her body so Johanna her mom came in and I usually
so Johanna her mom came in and I usually
so Johanna her mom came in and I usually start my consults with the same question
start my consults with the same question
start my consults with the same question that is tell me about family dinners
that is tell me about family dinners
that is tell me about family dinners because what that question does it gives
because what that question does it gives
because what that question does it gives me two pieces of information when is the
me two pieces of information when is the
me two pieces of information when is the give-and-take relationship that we spoke
give-and-take relationship that we spoke
give-and-take relationship that we spoke about earlier and second is the family
about earlier and second is the family
about earlier and second is the family dynamic and so as I asked that question
dynamic and so as I asked that question
dynamic and so as I asked that question right away mom rifled in and said I
right away mom rifled in and said I
right away mom rifled in and said I don’t know why she’s overweight I only
don’t know why she’s overweight I only
don’t know why she’s overweight I only feed her organic foods
feed her organic foods
feed her organic foods I make her exercise after every meal she
I make her exercise after every meal she
I make her exercise after every meal she always diets I just don’t get it okay so
always diets I just don’t get it okay so
always diets I just don’t get it okay so as I look mom continues she disclosed
as I look mom continues she disclosed
as I look mom continues she disclosed that she was overweight as a child until
that she was overweight as a child until
that she was overweight as a child until she started dieting around age 10 until
she started dieting around age 10 until
she started dieting around age 10 until she was diagnosed with an eating
she was diagnosed with an eating
she was diagnosed with an eating disorder and the thing that hurt the
disorder and the thing that hurt the
disorder and the thing that hurt the most both as a clinician and as a father
most both as a clinician and as a father
most both as a clinician and as a father was hearing her say that there was
was hearing her say that there was
was hearing her say that there was nothing that she could have done because
nothing that she could have done because
nothing that she could have done because eating disorders were in the family you
eating disorders were in the family you
eating disorders were in the family you see as a clinician
see as a clinician
see as a clinician it’s my belief that eating disorders are
it’s my belief that eating disorders are
it’s my belief that eating disorders are not hereditary
not hereditary
not hereditary they are environmental they are caused
they are environmental they are caused
they are environmental they are caused culturally by you and culturally by me a
recent poll was taken and they found
recent poll was taken and they found that ten-year-old girls
that ten-year-old girls
that ten-year-old girls fear being fat worse than they fear of
fear being fat worse than they fear of
fear being fat worse than they fear of cancer and even crazier fear of being
cancer and even crazier fear of being
cancer and even crazier fear of being fat worse than they fear the death of
fat worse than they fear the death of
fat worse than they fear the death of their own parents
you see Joanna’s mom was projecting her
you see Joanna’s mom was projecting her fear all over Joanne and I might not
fear all over Joanne and I might not
fear all over Joanne and I might not have given Rory and eating disorder late
have given Rory and eating disorder late
have given Rory and eating disorder late in her life but I can tell you that I
in her life but I can tell you that I
in her life but I can tell you that I projected my fear of inadequacy as a
projected my fear of inadequacy as a
projected my fear of inadequacy as a father all over our feeding experience
see Joanna and her mom are perfect
see Joanna and her mom are perfect pictures of what we’re seeing with diet
pictures of what we’re seeing with diet
pictures of what we’re seeing with diet culture today right now we know that
culture today right now we know that
culture today right now we know that half of Americans are currently dieting
half of Americans are currently dieting
half of Americans are currently dieting 35% of those will progress the more
35% of those will progress the more
35% of those will progress the more dangerous dieting and a whopping 25%
dangerous dieting and a whopping 25%
dangerous dieting and a whopping 25% will
will
will rest of full-blown eating disorders so
rest of full-blown eating disorders so
rest of full-blown eating disorders so why does this happen I tend to think
why does this happen I tend to think
why does this happen I tend to think it’s the same it’s pressure to look a
it’s the same it’s pressure to look a
it’s the same it’s pressure to look a certain way to be someone that you’re
certain way to be someone that you’re
certain way to be someone that you’re not
not
not it’s the rewards and consequences that
it’s the rewards and consequences that
it’s the rewards and consequences that come with desperately wanting a body
come with desperately wanting a body
come with desperately wanting a body that you just genetically cannot have
that you just genetically cannot have
that you just genetically cannot have and it’s the limiting of menus that you
and it’s the limiting of menus that you
and it’s the limiting of menus that you all know as diets and I remember
all know as diets and I remember
all know as diets and I remember thinking about this concept and well I
thinking about this concept and well I
thinking about this concept and well I thought about I took a step back I got
thought about I took a step back I got
thought about I took a step back I got super excited
super excited
super excited what if our responsibility to feed
what if our responsibility to feed
what if our responsibility to feed ourselves were the same other
ourselves were the same other
ourselves were the same other responsibilities and feed our children
responsibilities and feed our children
responsibilities and feed our children with love and with care what if we
with love and with care what if we
with love and with care what if we started to look at food in the same way
started to look at food in the same way
started to look at food in the same way that kids do with magic with intrigue
that kids do with magic with intrigue
that kids do with magic with intrigue and non judgment I think I’ve come up
and non judgment I think I’ve come up
and non judgment I think I’ve come up with a way to beat this it sounds super
with a way to beat this it sounds super
with a way to beat this it sounds super crazy but stay with me you’ve got to
crazy but stay with me you’ve got to
crazy but stay with me you’ve got to play with your food you guys have
play with your food you guys have
play with your food you guys have sanctioned food fights
sanctioned food fights
sanctioned food fights can you imagine everyone in this
can you imagine everyone in this
can you imagine everyone in this auditorium getting up and throwing
auditorium getting up and throwing
auditorium getting up and throwing things at one another you dodging a
things at one another you dodging a
things at one another you dodging a biscuit
biscuit
biscuit having a handful of mashed potatoes and
having a handful of mashed potatoes and
having a handful of mashed potatoes and slamming in the person to your left face
slamming in the person to your left face
slamming in the person to your left face it would be exhilarating it sounds crazy
it would be exhilarating it sounds crazy
it would be exhilarating it sounds crazy but what you’re doing is you’re creating
but what you’re doing is you’re creating
but what you’re doing is you’re creating a positive experience with food that you
a positive experience with food that you
a positive experience with food that you will never ever forget you have to play
will never ever forget you have to play
will never ever forget you have to play with your food you have to eat with your
with your food you have to eat with your
with your food you have to eat with your hands when it doesn’t even call for it
hands when it doesn’t even call for it
hands when it doesn’t even call for it you have to try new food experiences
you have to try new food experiences
you have to try new food experiences Rory didn’t know that this was cold tofu
Rory didn’t know that this was cold tofu
Rory didn’t know that this was cold tofu but she didn’t care because she was
but she didn’t care because she was
but she didn’t care because she was exploring her world with magic and with
exploring her world with magic and with
exploring her world with magic and with intrigue when’s the last time that you
intrigue when’s the last time that you
intrigue when’s the last time that you helped in the kitchen and got really
helped in the kitchen and got really
helped in the kitchen and got really dirty the last time then use your hands
dirty the last time then use your hands
dirty the last time then use your hands to eat the last time that you wiped the
to eat the last time that you wiped the
to eat the last time that you wiped the bottom of the bowl because it was so
bottom of the bowl because it was so
bottom of the bowl because it was so good you have to play with your food and
good you have to play with your food and
good you have to play with your food and lastly you have to look at food with
lastly you have to look at food with
lastly you have to look at food with love and with care this my mom every
love and with care this my mom every
love and with care this my mom every birthday of mine she asked the same two
birthday of mine she asked the same two
birthday of mine she asked the same two questions and that is who do you want to
questions and that is who do you want to
questions and that is who do you want to have over and what do you want to eat
have over and what do you want to eat
have over and what do you want to eat and my answer is always my friends and
and my answer is always my friends and
and my answer is always my friends and family and tostadas
family and tostadas
family and tostadas a nice fried corn tortilla slather of
a nice fried corn tortilla slather of
a nice fried corn tortilla slather of beans different types of protein
beans different types of protein
beans different types of protein beautiful veggies and the best salsa
beautiful veggies and the best salsa
beautiful veggies and the best salsa you’ve ever had in your life
you see what I’ve done here is I’ve
you see what I’ve done here is I’ve created a positive experience with food
created a positive experience with food
created a positive experience with food and only then could I be truly present
and only then could I be truly present
and only then could I be truly present with those that I love and also my own
with those that I love and also my own
with those that I love and also my own hunger cues so it’s not about the
hunger cues so it’s not about the
hunger cues so it’s not about the calories it’s about the taste and
calories it’s about the taste and
calories it’s about the taste and texture and the social experience that I
texture and the social experience that I
texture and the social experience that I am experiencing in that moment so I want
am experiencing in that moment so I want
am experiencing in that moment so I want to close with what happened at my own
to close with what happened at my own
to close with what happened at my own counseling session so there I am
counseling session so there I am
counseling session so there I am demoralized baby and hand
demoralized baby and hand
demoralized baby and hand pink diaper bag and the other looked
pink diaper bag and the other looked
pink diaper bag and the other looked fantastic and I sat down and the
fantastic and I sat down and the
fantastic and I sat down and the counselor said does he show me how you
counselor said does he show me how you
counselor said does he show me how you feed Rory okay so I got ready and she
feed Rory okay so I got ready and she
feed Rory okay so I got ready and she was like does he stop you look like
was like does he stop you look like
was like does he stop you look like you’re ready to go to battle ready to go
you’re ready to go to battle ready to go
you’re ready to go to battle ready to go to bat no I don’t wear so I tried again
I look like I was ready to go to battle
I look like I was ready to go to battle with a bottle I don’t want to be fed
with a bottle I don’t want to be fed
with a bottle I don’t want to be fed like that and I think you have to stop
like that and I think you have to stop
like that and I think you have to stop feeding yourself like that as well so as
feeding yourself like that as well so as
feeding yourself like that as well so as I handed my baby back to the counselor
I handed my baby back to the counselor
I handed my baby back to the counselor and my bottle weapon
and my bottle weapon
and my bottle weapon I saw the coolest dance between the two
I saw the coolest dance between the two
I saw the coolest dance between the two of them one that was safe when that was
of them one that was safe when that was
of them one that was safe when that was intriguing I can tell you that what
intriguing I can tell you that what
intriguing I can tell you that what followed that appointment but I haven’t
followed that appointment but I haven’t
followed that appointment but I haven’t done the whole feeding thing perfectly
done the whole feeding thing perfectly
done the whole feeding thing perfectly I’ve definitely come a long way from
I’ve definitely come a long way from
I’ve definitely come a long way from that whatever that was but I can tell
that whatever that was but I can tell
that whatever that was but I can tell you remember getting home
you remember getting home
you remember getting home recognizing that Rory was hungry and my
recognizing that Rory was hungry and my
recognizing that Rory was hungry and my only agenda was to be present with her
only agenda was to be present with her
only agenda was to be present with her to play with her so I played with her I
to play with her so I played with her I
to play with her so I played with her I kissed her cheek and nuzzled her nose
kissed her cheek and nuzzled her nose
kissed her cheek and nuzzled her nose and finally this happened yes
I can finally feed my baby can finally
I can finally feed my baby can finally dance with her again I think you all
dance with her again I think you all
dance with her again I think you all have to get back to the dance
have to get back to the dance
have to get back to the dance your role is super important because
your role is super important because
your role is super important because when kids see you eat they think to
when kids see you eat they think to
when kids see you eat they think to themselves that they too will eat just
themselves that they too will eat just
themselves that they too will eat just like you and it’s no different from the
like you and it’s no different from the
like you and it’s no different from the comments that you make about yourself in
comments that you make about yourself in
comments that you make about yourself in your body so hope as you go home and
your body so hope as you go home and
your body so hope as you go home and next time you’re eating with family is
next time you’re eating with family is
next time you’re eating with family is that you recognize the social experience
that you recognize the social experience
that you recognize the social experience and the love that you have for one
and the love that you have for one
and the love that you have for one another and not just the food I hope is
another and not just the food I hope is
another and not just the food I hope is that food becomes a part of your life
that food becomes a part of your life
that food becomes a part of your life not V part it sounds crazy but food
not V part it sounds crazy but food
not V part it sounds crazy but food fights could save your life thank you
”
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