so many of you were standing at a crossroads earlier today while some of
crossroads earlier today while some of
crossroads earlier today while some of you are facing that same crossroads
you are facing that same crossroads
you are facing that same crossroads while you sit here still others will be
while you sit here still others will be
while you sit here still others will be looking at it as you leave this
looking at it as you leave this
looking at it as you leave this afternoon and I to this morning face the
afternoon and I to this morning face the
afternoon and I to this morning face the very same crossroads well what is the
very same crossroads well what is the
very same crossroads well what is the crossroads you’re wondering the
crossroads you’re wondering the
crossroads you’re wondering the crossroads is a decision what are we
crossroads is a decision what are we
crossroads is a decision what are we going to post on social media about this
going to post on social media about this
going to post on social media about this amazing TED event today right but when
amazing TED event today right but when
amazing TED event today right but when it comes to posting on social media I
it comes to posting on social media I
it comes to posting on social media I think there are three categories of
think there are three categories of
think there are three categories of people
people
people there’s category a and members of
there’s category a and members of
there’s category a and members of category a are those people who can
category a are those people who can
category a are those people who can multitask and type up a status or a
multitask and type up a status or a
multitask and type up a status or a caption not think twice about it and
caption not think twice about it and
caption not think twice about it and post it maybe you’re in category a then
post it maybe you’re in category a then
post it maybe you’re in category a then there’s category B and members of
there’s category B and members of
there’s category B and members of category B might think of something they
category B might think of something they
category B might think of something they type up a status our caption they may
type up a status our caption they may
type up a status our caption they may edit a word or two add a filter or tag
edit a word or two add a filter or tag
edit a word or two add a filter or tag somebody but they’re satisfied pretty
somebody but they’re satisfied pretty
somebody but they’re satisfied pretty quickly and they post it and I think
quickly and they post it and I think
quickly and they post it and I think probably most people fit into category B
probably most people fit into category B
probably most people fit into category B and then there are these special people
and then there are these special people
and then there are these special people in category C who when they’re typing up
in category C who when they’re typing up
in category C who when they’re typing up their status or their caption don’t even
their status or their caption don’t even
their status or their caption don’t even intend to post it it’s their rough draft
intend to post it it’s their rough draft
intend to post it it’s their rough draft and then in the next few hours or days
and then in the next few hours or days
and then in the next few hours or days or weeks they’re going to rewrite it
or weeks they’re going to rewrite it
or weeks they’re going to rewrite it they’re going to add a quote they’re
they’re going to add a quote they’re
they’re going to add a quote they’re gonna add a song another picture they’re
gonna add a song another picture they’re
gonna add a song another picture they’re gonna attack somebody untag them then
gonna attack somebody untag them then
gonna attack somebody untag them then retag them and then when they think it’s
retag them and then when they think it’s
retag them and then when they think it’s perfect they’re going to post it and so
perfect they’re going to post it and so
perfect they’re going to post it and so I’m not sure which category you fit into
I’m not sure which category you fit into
I’m not sure which category you fit into but I have to admit to you guys that I’m
but I have to admit to you guys that I’m
but I have to admit to you guys that I’m an extreme version of a category C so
an extreme version of a category C so
an extreme version of a category C so not only do I take awhile to post to
not only do I take awhile to post to
not only do I take awhile to post to social media but I don’t even write my
social media but I don’t even write my
social media but I don’t even write my status in facebook or my caption and
status in facebook or my caption and
status in facebook or my caption and Instagram I use the Notes app in my
Instagram I use the Notes app in my
Instagram I use the Notes app in my iPhone
iPhone
iPhone just so I have creative space and so I
just so I have creative space and so I
just so I have creative space and so I won’t accidentally post it before it’s
won’t accidentally post it before it’s
won’t accidentally post it before it’s perfect so yes I’m a category C social
perfect so yes I’m a category C social
perfect so yes I’m a category C social media / thinker and so it was in this
media / thinker and so it was in this
media / thinker and so it was in this category C frame of mind that I was
category C frame of mind that I was
category C frame of mind that I was considering a post in July of 2016 and
considering a post in July of 2016 and
considering a post in July of 2016 and this was a summer that some people
this was a summer that some people
this was a summer that some people referred to as the summer of hate where
referred to as the summer of hate where
referred to as the summer of hate where there were these tensions between
there were these tensions between
there were these tensions between communities and police departments and
communities and police departments and
communities and police departments and cities like Dallas Minneapolis and Baton
cities like Dallas Minneapolis and Baton
cities like Dallas Minneapolis and Baton Rouge I’m from Baton Rouge and so I felt
Rouge I’m from Baton Rouge and so I felt
Rouge I’m from Baton Rouge and so I felt compelled to reach out to try to
compelled to reach out to try to
compelled to reach out to try to encourage the community there through
encourage the community there through
encourage the community there through Facebook so I thought and I thought some
Facebook so I thought and I thought some
Facebook so I thought and I thought some more and wrote some more and just posted
more and wrote some more and just posted
more and wrote some more and just posted something like I’m thinking about you
something like I’m thinking about you
something like I’m thinking about you guys I know you’re strong and I know you
guys I know you’re strong and I know you
guys I know you’re strong and I know you can deal with this but the category C
can deal with this but the category C
can deal with this but the category C and me said nah maybe you could try a
and me said nah maybe you could try a
and me said nah maybe you could try a little bit harder maybe you can
little bit harder maybe you can
little bit harder maybe you can encourage people to try to work through
encourage people to try to work through
encourage people to try to work through some of those divisions and so I wrote
some of those divisions and so I wrote
some of those divisions and so I wrote and rewrote and landed on something like
and rewrote and landed on something like
and rewrote and landed on something like this you know what I think thing is to
this you know what I think thing is to
this you know what I think thing is to get better if parents would take the
get better if parents would take the
get better if parents would take the responsibility to teach their kids not
responsibility to teach their kids not
responsibility to teach their kids not to be afraid of each other especially of
to be afraid of each other especially of
to be afraid of each other especially of people of color and so how do you guys
people of color and so how do you guys
people of color and so how do you guys think that went over on Facebook yeah
think that went over on Facebook yeah
think that went over on Facebook yeah exactly
exactly
exactly immediately a parent shot back and said
immediately a parent shot back and said
immediately a parent shot back and said well I’m a parent you can’t tell me how
well I’m a parent you can’t tell me how
well I’m a parent you can’t tell me how to parent my kids what are you talking
to parent my kids what are you talking
to parent my kids what are you talking about somebody else chimed in and said
about somebody else chimed in and said
about somebody else chimed in and said well you’re not understanding her
well you’re not understanding her
well you’re not understanding her perspective some of my colleagues in the
perspective some of my colleagues in the
perspective some of my colleagues in the audience even joined the conversation
audience even joined the conversation
audience even joined the conversation that day and at the end there were
that day and at the end there were
that day and at the end there were 50-plus comments nobody really learned
50-plus comments nobody really learned
50-plus comments nobody really learned anything there were no new insights but
anything there were no new insights but
anything there were no new insights but most people were frustrated and
most people were frustrated and
most people were frustrated and exhausted which typically happens in
exhausted which typically happens in
exhausted which typically happens in these social media debates and so I
these social media debates and so I
these social media debates and so I thought to my category C self if only
thought to my category C self if only
thought to my category C self if only you had written that other rough draft
you had written that other rough draft
you had written that other rough draft before you post the distance wouldn’t
before you post the distance wouldn’t
before you post the distance wouldn’t have happened right but of course we
have happened right but of course we
have happened right but of course we know that overthinking social media post
know that overthinking social media post
know that overthinking social media post is not going to solve these big problems
is not going to solve these big problems
is not going to solve these big problems but what I started to do is to think
but what I started to do is to think
but what I started to do is to think about how I could be more of the
about how I could be more of the
about how I could be more of the solution than the problem and I thought
solution than the problem and I thought
solution than the problem and I thought out loud about it with a colleague who’s
out loud about it with a colleague who’s
out loud about it with a colleague who’s a good friend now and he was involved in
a good friend now and he was involved in
a good friend now and he was involved in that initial epic Facebook battle
that initial epic Facebook battle
that initial epic Facebook battle so we thought out loud about what we
so we thought out loud about what we
so we thought out loud about what we could do to get goodwill people together
could do to get goodwill people together
could do to get goodwill people together to tackle some of these issues and we
to tackle some of these issues and we
to tackle some of these issues and we decided to host a community forum in
decided to host a community forum in
decided to host a community forum in Tupelo who had experienced similar
Tupelo who had experienced similar
Tupelo who had experienced similar tensions so I remember as Toni was
tensions so I remember as Toni was
tensions so I remember as Toni was preparing this presentation I thought
preparing this presentation I thought
preparing this presentation I thought man this is gonna be so eloquent he’s
man this is gonna be so eloquent he’s
man this is gonna be so eloquent he’s got psychological theories and
got psychological theories and
got psychological theories and philosophical constructs and great
philosophical constructs and great
philosophical constructs and great slides and all I could think of it my
slides and all I could think of it my
slides and all I could think of it my category see mine is that if I stood in
category see mine is that if I stood in
category see mine is that if I stood in front of a group of people and tried to
front of a group of people and tried to
front of a group of people and tried to talk to them about race and privilege
talk to them about race and privilege
talk to them about race and privilege and police accountability
and police accountability
and police accountability maybe the category AIDS would hear what
maybe the category AIDS would hear what
maybe the category AIDS would hear what I was saying category B’s would probably
I was saying category B’s would probably
I was saying category B’s would probably give me a chance but the category C’s
give me a chance but the category C’s
give me a chance but the category C’s would probably be ripping apart what I
would probably be ripping apart what I
would probably be ripping apart what I was saying lines my life so I said
was saying lines my life so I said
was saying lines my life so I said probably my a presentation I think I’m
probably my a presentation I think I’m
probably my a presentation I think I’m just gonna have to trick them trick them
just gonna have to trick them trick them
just gonna have to trick them trick them out of there were her stereotypes and
out of there were her stereotypes and
out of there were her stereotypes and talking points on these issues and
talking points on these issues and
talking points on these issues and instead trick them into considering
instead trick them into considering
instead trick them into considering their set of experiences that has shaped
their set of experiences that has shaped
their set of experiences that has shaped the way they viewed the world but this
the way they viewed the world but this
the way they viewed the world but this wasn’t going to be easy getting people
wasn’t going to be easy getting people
wasn’t going to be easy getting people into a room that have lots of different
into a room that have lots of different
into a room that have lots of different opinions first they have to speak the
opinions first they have to speak the
opinions first they have to speak the same language and so I know that
same language and so I know that
same language and so I know that language wasn’t going to be English
language wasn’t going to be English
language wasn’t going to be English because English is the language we used
because English is the language we used
because English is the language we used to yell at each other on social media
to yell at each other on social media
to yell at each other on social media I thought maybe Swahili I speak Swahili
I thought maybe Swahili I speak Swahili
I thought maybe Swahili I speak Swahili but I figured probably not that many
but I figured probably not that many
but I figured probably not that many other people do so I tried to think
other people do so I tried to think
other people do so I tried to think bigger something more Universal and I
bigger something more Universal and I
bigger something more Universal and I thought about math math whether you’re
thought about math math whether you’re
thought about math math whether you’re speaking English Swahili Japanese or
speaking English Swahili Japanese or
speaking English Swahili Japanese or Chinese one plus one equals two and so I
Chinese one plus one equals two and so I
Chinese one plus one equals two and so I got excited math would be the language
got excited math would be the language
got excited math would be the language but what in the world would I have these
but what in the world would I have these
but what in the world would I have these people doing at this forum would I have
people doing at this forum would I have
people doing at this forum would I have the multiplying and dividing probably
the multiplying and dividing probably
the multiplying and dividing probably not instead I would need to figure out a
not instead I would need to figure out a
not instead I would need to figure out a way for them to use math to represent
way for them to use math to represent
way for them to use math to represent their unique set of experiences and be
their unique set of experiences and be
their unique set of experiences and be able to compare it to others to figure
able to compare it to others to figure
able to compare it to others to figure out that not everybody has the same
out that not everybody has the same
out that not everybody has the same starting point and so I thought about
starting point and so I thought about
starting point and so I thought about childhood one of those things that
childhood one of those things that
childhood one of those things that everybody experiences that largely
everybody experiences that largely
everybody experiences that largely influences our worldview but we have
influences our worldview but we have
influences our worldview but we have little control over so with math and a
little control over so with math and a
little control over so with math and a focus on childhood I developed a survey
focus on childhood I developed a survey
focus on childhood I developed a survey what’s your number with the number
what’s your number with the number
what’s your number with the number representing your unique set of
representing your unique set of
representing your unique set of experiences that have shaped how you
experiences that have shaped how you
experiences that have shaped how you think of the world and so that night
think of the world and so that night
think of the world and so that night everybody got a copy of the survey with
everybody got a copy of the survey with
everybody got a copy of the survey with the instructions place a check next to
the instructions place a check next to
the instructions place a check next to each statement that is true for you
each statement that is true for you
each statement that is true for you after you’ve done this add them all up
after you’ve done this add them all up
after you’ve done this add them all up to get a number and so what I pointed
to get a number and so what I pointed
to get a number and so what I pointed out to them that night from the survey
out to them that night from the survey
out to them that night from the survey was that again the focus is on childhood
was that again the focus is on childhood
was that again the focus is on childhood so if you were born in the United States
so if you were born in the United States
so if you were born in the United States pretty sure not much you did to make
pretty sure not much you did to make
pretty sure not much you did to make that happen if you had two parents with
that happen if you had two parents with
that happen if you had two parents with college degrees you may have been one of
college degrees you may have been one of
college degrees you may have been one of those genius babies but you probably
those genius babies but you probably
those genius babies but you probably didn’t do their work for them right so
didn’t do their work for them right so
didn’t do their work for them right so again things that beyond your control
again things that beyond your control
again things that beyond your control have given you a set of circumstances
have given you a set of circumstances
have given you a set of circumstances and so with their numbers in hand I had
and so with their numbers in hand I had
and so with their numbers in hand I had them all stand up from 1 all the way to
them all stand up from 1 all the way to
them all stand up from 1 all the way to 35 35 represented the highest number of
35 35 represented the highest number of
35 35 represented the highest number of checks you could get and just to see
checks you could get and just to see
checks you could get and just to see where everybody started now what happens
where everybody started now what happens
where everybody started now what happens typically when we rank people in terms
typically when we rank people in terms
typically when we rank people in terms of their set of advantages disadvantages
of their set of advantages disadvantages
of their set of advantages disadvantages we try to give more importance to folks
we try to give more importance to folks
we try to give more importance to folks that are at the front there’s just
that are at the front there’s just
that are at the front there’s just something about being in the front
something about being in the front
something about being in the front that’s why kids in school push to be the
that’s why kids in school push to be the
that’s why kids in school push to be the line leader right nobody’s ever raising
line leader right nobody’s ever raising
line leader right nobody’s ever raising their hand saying I want to be in the
their hand saying I want to be in the
their hand saying I want to be in the middle of the line teacher right so we
middle of the line teacher right so we
middle of the line teacher right so we give importance to folks who maybe have
give importance to folks who maybe have
give importance to folks who maybe have more are standing at that particular
more are standing at that particular
more are standing at that particular number and that person starts to feel
number and that person starts to feel
number and that person starts to feel that way too and so what it sounds like
that way too and so what it sounds like
that way too and so what it sounds like a lot of times is you know what I’m a
a lot of times is you know what I’m a
a lot of times is you know what I’m a thirty-five so what I have to say
thirty-five so what I have to say
thirty-five so what I have to say obviously is the most important thing if
obviously is the most important thing if
obviously is the most important thing if you’re back at 17 I think what you’re
you’re back at 17 I think what you’re
you’re back at 17 I think what you’re saying is stupid actually you shouldn’t
saying is stupid actually you shouldn’t
saying is stupid actually you shouldn’t even be in the conversation right it’s
even be in the conversation right it’s
even be in the conversation right it’s no different than your perspective of
no different than your perspective of
no different than your perspective of the state’s tonight if the topic of
the state’s tonight if the topic of
the state’s tonight if the topic of conversation is whether or not I have
conversation is whether or not I have
conversation is whether or not I have gray hair who do you guys think has the
gray hair who do you guys think has the
gray hair who do you guys think has the advantage in this circumstance probably
advantage in this circumstance probably
advantage in this circumstance probably the people closer right the people in
the people closer right the people in
the people closer right the people in the back probably wouldn’t be able to
the back probably wouldn’t be able to
the back probably wouldn’t be able to see whether or not I had gray hair but
see whether or not I had gray hair but
see whether or not I had gray hair but what we sound like in society when we’re
what we sound like in society when we’re
what we sound like in society when we’re talking about gray hair or whatever the
talking about gray hair or whatever the
talking about gray hair or whatever the issue is is this we sound like this
issue is is this we sound like this
issue is is this we sound like this people in the front turn around to the
people in the front turn around to the
people in the front turn around to the back
back
back and say you know what you’re an idiot if
and say you know what you’re an idiot if
and say you know what you’re an idiot if you can’t see the gray hair it’s obvious
you can’t see the gray hair it’s obvious
you can’t see the gray hair it’s obvious what are you doing it’s ridiculous
what are you doing it’s ridiculous
what are you doing it’s ridiculous matter of fact I think you’re evil so
matter of fact I think you’re evil so
matter of fact I think you’re evil so stay away from me the gray hair is just
stay away from me the gray hair is just
stay away from me the gray hair is just their sound silly to us because in this
their sound silly to us because in this
their sound silly to us because in this room were able to look at perspective
room were able to look at perspective
room were able to look at perspective starting points worldview view of this
starting points worldview view of this
starting points worldview view of this stage instead what it should sound like
stage instead what it should sound like
stage instead what it should sound like is the people at the front first
is the people at the front first
is the people at the front first acknowledge where they are you know what
acknowledge where they are you know what
acknowledge where they are you know what we’re pretty close to the stage so we
we’re pretty close to the stage so we
we’re pretty close to the stage so we can see the gray in their hair look
can see the gray in their hair look
can see the gray in their hair look outward and acknowledge where someone
outward and acknowledge where someone
outward and acknowledge where someone else is but I can understand why the
else is but I can understand why the
else is but I can understand why the people in the back may not be able to
people in the back may not be able to
people in the back may not be able to see the gray so why don’t we just ask
see the gray so why don’t we just ask
see the gray so why don’t we just ask her
her
her I’m sure she’ll tell the truth and y’all
I’m sure she’ll tell the truth and y’all
I’m sure she’ll tell the truth and y’all will never know but yeah I do have gray
will never know but yeah I do have gray
will never know but yeah I do have gray hair and so that reduces all of the
hair and so that reduces all of the
hair and so that reduces all of the exhaustion you get from these social
exhaustion you get from these social
exhaustion you get from these social media debates and all these other
media debates and all these other
media debates and all these other arguments when you first acknowledge
arguments when you first acknowledge
arguments when you first acknowledge your own starting point the starting
your own starting point the starting
your own starting point the starting point of someone else’s and then try to
point of someone else’s and then try to
point of someone else’s and then try to come to the table to tackle some of
come to the table to tackle some of
come to the table to tackle some of these issues another good example is
these issues another good example is
these issues another good example is this phenomena that happens when you’re
this phenomena that happens when you’re
this phenomena that happens when you’re driving on the highway and I Drive back
driving on the highway and I Drive back
driving on the highway and I Drive back and forth to Louisiana a lot so you can
and forth to Louisiana a lot so you can
and forth to Louisiana a lot so you can look out sometimes on a cloudy day and
look out sometimes on a cloudy day and
look out sometimes on a cloudy day and see the rain ahead of you has anybody
see the rain ahead of you has anybody
see the rain ahead of you has anybody ever seen that where you can look out
ever seen that where you can look out
ever seen that where you can look out see it’s about to rain it would be silly
see it’s about to rain it would be silly
see it’s about to rain it would be silly of me if somebody were to call from
of me if somebody were to call from
of me if somebody were to call from ahead and say you know what Jael put
ahead and say you know what Jael put
ahead and say you know what Jael put your wipers on it’s gonna be raining and
your wipers on it’s gonna be raining and
your wipers on it’s gonna be raining and so I would say well I don’t know where
so I would say well I don’t know where
so I would say well I don’t know where Rogero and if you’re on fifty five or if
Rogero and if you’re on fifty five or if
Rogero and if you’re on fifty five or if you’re in New York because it’s not
you’re in New York because it’s not
you’re in New York because it’s not raining here you sound ridiculous
raining here you sound ridiculous
raining here you sound ridiculous stop calling me all I would have to do
stop calling me all I would have to do
stop calling me all I would have to do is to acknowledge again there’s no rain
is to acknowledge again there’s no rain
is to acknowledge again there’s no rain on my windshield I don’t see it but if I
on my windshield I don’t see it but if I
on my windshield I don’t see it but if I look outward I can see that from your
look outward I can see that from your
look outward I can see that from your perspective it is raining that’s what it
perspective it is raining that’s what it
perspective it is raining that’s what it should sound like and so what does all
should sound like and so what does all
should sound like and so what does all of this mean in terms of difficult
of this mean in terms of difficult
of this mean in terms of difficult topics let’s choose police
topics let’s choose police
topics let’s choose police accountability for example if we’re
accountability for example if we’re
accountability for example if we’re looking at the survey we’re talking
looking at the survey we’re talking
looking at the survey we’re talking about early experiences with police
about early experiences with police
about early experiences with police officers maybe you had a mom a dad and
officers maybe you had a mom a dad and
officers maybe you had a mom a dad and uncle who’s on the police force
uncle who’s on the police force
uncle who’s on the police force acknowledging that that is part of your
acknowledging that that is part of your
acknowledging that that is part of your perspective when you come to the table
perspective when you come to the table
perspective when you come to the table to talk about that and then also looking
to talk about that and then also looking
to talk about that and then also looking outward to
outward to
outward to what else who may not have had positive
what else who may not have had positive
what else who may not have had positive experiences or had an uncle or knew
experiences or had an uncle or knew
experiences or had an uncle or knew someone on the police force and that
someone on the police force and that
someone on the police force and that their perspective is just as valid and
their perspective is just as valid and
their perspective is just as valid and that’s where they’re starting and coming
that’s where they’re starting and coming
that’s where they’re starting and coming to the table so it’s not going to solve
to the table so it’s not going to solve
to the table so it’s not going to solve all the issues of the world but we
all the issues of the world but we
all the issues of the world but we probably would be a little bit less
probably would be a little bit less
probably would be a little bit less exhausting if we first do the validation
exhausting if we first do the validation
exhausting if we first do the validation and then come to the table so raining in
and then come to the table so raining in
and then come to the table so raining in my windshield not raining in yours
my windshield not raining in yours
my windshield not raining in yours maybe I’ve experienced unfair treatment
maybe I’ve experienced unfair treatment
maybe I’ve experienced unfair treatment maybe you haven’t let’s say both of
maybe you haven’t let’s say both of
maybe you haven’t let’s say both of those experiences are valid now what
those experiences are valid now what
those experiences are valid now what right and so today I encourage you not
right and so today I encourage you not
right and so today I encourage you not just to think consciously about your
just to think consciously about your
just to think consciously about your experience here when you’re gonna post
experience here when you’re gonna post
experience here when you’re gonna post on social media about it hopefully you
on social media about it hopefully you
on social media about it hopefully you post something nice but to also slow
post something nice but to also slow
post something nice but to also slow down and think about your experiences
down and think about your experiences
down and think about your experiences and how they contribute to how you see
and how they contribute to how you see
and how they contribute to how you see the world on any number of topics but to
the world on any number of topics but to
the world on any number of topics but to also look outward at the experience of
also look outward at the experience of
also look outward at the experience of others and how that is shaped how they
others and how that is shaped how they
others and how that is shaped how they view the world whether you think of it
view the world whether you think of it
view the world whether you think of it in terms of a number or in terms of
in terms of a number or in terms of
in terms of a number or in terms of their set of experience I know that I’ll
their set of experience I know that I’ll
their set of experience I know that I’ll be trying to do it I invite you guys to
be trying to do it I invite you guys to
be trying to do it I invite you guys to think more consciously and I hope you
think more consciously and I hope you
think more consciously and I hope you spread the word
spread the word
spread the word [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] you
you
you [Music]
”
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