[Music] [Applause]
what I have in this box led me for the
what I have in this box led me for the first half of my life to try to emulate
first half of my life to try to emulate
first half of my life to try to emulate it perfectly and because of that I began
it perfectly and because of that I began
it perfectly and because of that I began to have health problems emotional
to have health problems emotional
to have health problems emotional problems almost a nervous breakdown and
problems almost a nervous breakdown and
problems almost a nervous breakdown and it literally almost physically took my
it literally almost physically took my
it literally almost physically took my life what’s in this same box but a
life what’s in this same box but a
life what’s in this same box but a little different led me to find my
little different led me to find my
little different led me to find my mission my purpose in life what was in
mission my purpose in life what was in
mission my purpose in life what was in this box but a little different then
this box but a little different then
this box but a little different then saved my life and put me on this stage
saved my life and put me on this stage
saved my life and put me on this stage right now before you what’s in this box
I don’t have too many memories of being
I don’t have too many memories of being very young but one of my favorite
very young but one of my favorite
very young but one of my favorite memories and first memories was when I
memories and first memories was when I
memories and first memories was when I was 3 years old I rushed down the stairs
was 3 years old I rushed down the stairs
was 3 years old I rushed down the stairs at Christmas and found a box just like
at Christmas and found a box just like
at Christmas and found a box just like that now I had been waiting for two
that now I had been waiting for two
that now I had been waiting for two years to get this box
years to get this box
years to get this box I’d been asking can I have a Barbie can
I’d been asking can I have a Barbie can
I’d been asking can I have a Barbie can I have a Barbie can I have a Barbie or
I have a Barbie can I have a Barbie or
I have a Barbie can I have a Barbie or Barbie when I couldn’t even use those
Barbie when I couldn’t even use those
Barbie when I couldn’t even use those whole thinit’s together the box says
whole thinit’s together the box says
whole thinit’s together the box says ages three and up on my third Christmas
ages three and up on my third Christmas
ages three and up on my third Christmas I found that box and I ripped into it to
I found that box and I ripped into it to
I found that box and I ripped into it to come face-to-face with my first Barbie
come face-to-face with my first Barbie
come face-to-face with my first Barbie and that was the first time I cried
and that was the first time I cried
and that was the first time I cried tears of joy I hugged that Barbie to me
tears of joy I hugged that Barbie to me
tears of joy I hugged that Barbie to me and right there and then I promised I
and right there and then I promised I
and right there and then I promised I was gonna be Barbie it didn’t matter
was gonna be Barbie it didn’t matter
was gonna be Barbie it didn’t matter what it took or what I had to sacrifice
what it took or what I had to sacrifice
what it took or what I had to sacrifice I would be Barbie it was going pretty
I would be Barbie it was going pretty
I would be Barbie it was going pretty well I meticulously died of my black
well I meticulously died of my black
well I meticulously died of my black curly hair two blind as soon as I
curly hair two blind as soon as I
curly hair two blind as soon as I possibly could I cut it in a bob and I
possibly could I cut it in a bob and I
possibly could I cut it in a bob and I strained it multiple times a day
strained it multiple times a day
strained it multiple times a day the 139 pounds in front of you was down
the 139 pounds in front of you was down
the 139 pounds in front of you was down to what I thought at age 19 and until I
to what I thought at age 19 and until I
to what I thought at age 19 and until I was 28 as a slim Barbie 82 pounds I went
was 28 as a slim Barbie 82 pounds I went
was 28 as a slim Barbie 82 pounds I went to Community College put myself through
to Community College put myself through
to Community College put myself through college and I found my kin blonde hair
college and I found my kin blonde hair
college and I found my kin blonde hair blue eyes came from a great family
blue eyes came from a great family
blue eyes came from a great family well-off played tennis May Nationals in
well-off played tennis May Nationals in
well-off played tennis May Nationals in his high school and then in college
his high school and then in college
his high school and then in college everything was going perfectly we dated
everything was going perfectly we dated
everything was going perfectly we dated for 10 years and then he proposed to me
for 10 years and then he proposed to me
for 10 years and then he proposed to me and put a four and a half carat ring on
and put a four and a half carat ring on
and put a four and a half carat ring on my finger I had my Barbie ring I had my
my finger I had my Barbie ring I had my
my finger I had my Barbie ring I had my kin we moved into Preston Hollow which
kin we moved into Preston Hollow which
kin we moved into Preston Hollow which is where George W Bush lives
is where George W Bush lives
is where George W Bush lives I had my Barbie house I had my Barbie
I had my Barbie house I had my Barbie
I had my Barbie house I had my Barbie car a champagne Lexus
car a champagne Lexus
car a champagne Lexus and to the outside everything looked
and to the outside everything looked
and to the outside everything looked picture-perfect inside was a totally
picture-perfect inside was a totally
picture-perfect inside was a totally different story I was abused in every
different story I was abused in every
different story I was abused in every way possible inside that Barbie house
way possible inside that Barbie house
way possible inside that Barbie house but my kin because I didn’t feel of
but my kin because I didn’t feel of
but my kin because I didn’t feel of worth no matter how perfect I tried to
worth no matter how perfect I tried to
worth no matter how perfect I tried to look no matter how much I tried to cram
look no matter how much I tried to cram
look no matter how much I tried to cram myself in that Barbie box something
myself in that Barbie box something
myself in that Barbie box something wasn’t working for me but I still kept
wasn’t working for me but I still kept
wasn’t working for me but I still kept that smile I started to have health
that smile I started to have health
that smile I started to have health problems stomach issues then rashes I
problems stomach issues then rashes I
problems stomach issues then rashes I was diagnosed with four autoimmune
was diagnosed with four autoimmune
was diagnosed with four autoimmune diseases and then I started to lose my
diseases and then I started to lose my
diseases and then I started to lose my hair
hair
hair not just strands here and there I would
not just strands here and there I would
not just strands here and there I would wake up engulfed in my own hair
wake up engulfed in my own hair
wake up engulfed in my own hair sometimes I even had nightmares that I
sometimes I even had nightmares that I
sometimes I even had nightmares that I was suffocating because of all the hair
was suffocating because of all the hair
was suffocating because of all the hair that was falling out and into my mouth
that was falling out and into my mouth
that was falling out and into my mouth why slept I was in denial I continued to
why slept I was in denial I continued to
why slept I was in denial I continued to try to fake it till I made it my
try to fake it till I made it my
try to fake it till I made it my situation worsened by the time I was 27
situation worsened by the time I was 27
situation worsened by the time I was 27 I had a four and a half minute seizure I
I had a four and a half minute seizure I
I had a four and a half minute seizure I was diagnosed with my fifth Ottawa
was diagnosed with my fifth Ottawa
was diagnosed with my fifth Ottawa immune disease alopecia universalis you
immune disease alopecia universalis you
immune disease alopecia universalis you will never get your hair back they said
will never get your hair back they said
will never get your hair back they said it will fall out everywhere this to me
it will fall out everywhere this to me
it will fall out everywhere this to me was a death sentence you see I can deal
was a death sentence you see I can deal
was a death sentence you see I can deal with the fact that I almost had a
with the fact that I almost had a
with the fact that I almost had a cardiac arrest at 28 I could hide it I
cardiac arrest at 28 I could hide it I
cardiac arrest at 28 I could hide it I can do with the fact that my stomach
can do with the fact that my stomach
can do with the fact that my stomach would not allow me to eat foods pretty
would not allow me to eat foods pretty
would not allow me to eat foods pretty much any food anymore I could deal with
much any food anymore I could deal with
much any food anymore I could deal with the abuse so I thought I could suppress
the abuse so I thought I could suppress
the abuse so I thought I could suppress all of it because my out the way I
all of it because my out the way I
all of it because my out the way I looked outside was still perfect but
looked outside was still perfect but
looked outside was still perfect but when I lost my hair I could no longer
when I lost my hair I could no longer
when I lost my hair I could no longer hide behind it it was terrifying
hide behind it it was terrifying
hide behind it it was terrifying and I thought my life was over I
and I thought my life was over I
and I thought my life was over I actually wore wigs
actually wore wigs
actually wore wigs to sleep in because I didn’t want my kin
to sleep in because I didn’t want my kin
to sleep in because I didn’t want my kin to see
to see
to see me as anything less than perfect again I
me as anything less than perfect again I
me as anything less than perfect again I tried to cram myself in that Barbie box
tried to cram myself in that Barbie box
tried to cram myself in that Barbie box so badly there came a point when I went
so badly there came a point when I went
so badly there came a point when I went to church and it was 102 degrees the AC
to church and it was 102 degrees the AC
to church and it was 102 degrees the AC was off there was no AC that day and I
was off there was no AC that day and I
was off there was no AC that day and I remember being in the bathroom sobbing
remember being in the bathroom sobbing
remember being in the bathroom sobbing trying to put wet paper towels on top of
trying to put wet paper towels on top of
trying to put wet paper towels on top of my head underneath my wig and something
my head underneath my wig and something
my head underneath my wig and something clicked I heard this voice say you’re
clicked I heard this voice say you’re
clicked I heard this voice say you’re stronger than this keep going you can do
stronger than this keep going you can do
stronger than this keep going you can do it without the wig just keep going keep
it without the wig just keep going keep
it without the wig just keep going keep going
going
going I didn’t 100% believe it but something
I didn’t 100% believe it but something
I didn’t 100% believe it but something inside of me knew that hair was not
inside of me knew that hair was not
inside of me knew that hair was not gonna conquer me I had been through too
gonna conquer me I had been through too
gonna conquer me I had been through too much and too far to let a little bit
much and too far to let a little bit
much and too far to let a little bit baldness ruin my Sunday experience and I
baldness ruin my Sunday experience and I
baldness ruin my Sunday experience and I did the most terrifying thing I had done
did the most terrifying thing I had done
did the most terrifying thing I had done up to then I took off my wig and I
up to then I took off my wig and I
up to then I took off my wig and I marched into that sanctuary where
marched into that sanctuary where
marched into that sanctuary where everyone I had ever gone to church with
everyone I had ever gone to church with
everyone I had ever gone to church with since I was small was there now let me
since I was small was there now let me
since I was small was there now let me just paint a picture when you have seen
just paint a picture when you have seen
just paint a picture when you have seen someone for 30 years and they walk into
someone for 30 years and they walk into
someone for 30 years and they walk into the bathroom stall and walk out bald
the bathroom stall and walk out bald
the bathroom stall and walk out bald it’s a little strange I always told them
it’s a little strange I always told them
it’s a little strange I always told them I’m sure they were thinking what stall
I’m sure they were thinking what stall
I’m sure they were thinking what stall did you use because I’m not using that
did you use because I’m not using that
did you use because I’m not using that stall that’s back but in that moment
stall that’s back but in that moment
stall that’s back but in that moment they accepted me sure had some double
they accepted me sure had some double
they accepted me sure had some double looks I mean you know that happens when
looks I mean you know that happens when
looks I mean you know that happens when you go in with hair come out without
you go in with hair come out without
you go in with hair come out without hair but it wasn’t this whole thing I
hair but it wasn’t this whole thing I
hair but it wasn’t this whole thing I built inside my mind it wasn’t I started
built inside my mind it wasn’t I started
built inside my mind it wasn’t I started to refuse to wear my wig I worked where
to refuse to wear my wig I worked where
to refuse to wear my wig I worked where my husband worked and I refused to wear
my husband worked and I refused to wear
my husband worked and I refused to wear my wig it was uncomfortable and I was
my wig it was uncomfortable and I was
my wig it was uncomfortable and I was tired of hiding
tired of hiding
tired of hiding they didn’t enjoy that at all especially
they didn’t enjoy that at all especially
they didn’t enjoy that at all especially since I was the marketing and event
since I was the marketing and event
since I was the marketing and event coordinator for brokers in the Dallas
coordinator for brokers in the Dallas
coordinator for brokers in the Dallas area I
area I
area I supposed to look a certain way and I
supposed to look a certain way and I
supposed to look a certain way and I when I refused to look that way I was
when I refused to look that way I was
when I refused to look that way I was laid off shortly after I got the best
laid off shortly after I got the best
laid off shortly after I got the best present I had ever gotten from my
present I had ever gotten from my
present I had ever gotten from my husband on our two-year wedding
husband on our two-year wedding
husband on our two-year wedding anniversary
anniversary
anniversary he gave me divorce papers you’re out I
he gave me divorce papers you’re out I
he gave me divorce papers you’re out I am 29 I was 30 when I moved out of that
am 29 I was 30 when I moved out of that
am 29 I was 30 when I moved out of that house I have no job all of my friends
house I have no job all of my friends
house I have no job all of my friends had disappeared when they learned that
had disappeared when they learned that
had disappeared when they learned that my husband was filing for divorce I had
my husband was filing for divorce I had
my husband was filing for divorce I had no home I had no prospects I didn’t have
no home I had no prospects I didn’t have
no home I had no prospects I didn’t have any money what was I gonna do who would
any money what was I gonna do who would
any money what was I gonna do who would ever love me like this
ever love me like this
ever love me like this I was unhealthy I was having panic
I was unhealthy I was having panic
I was unhealthy I was having panic attacks and depression I’m talking panic
attacks and depression I’m talking panic
attacks and depression I’m talking panic attacks while you’re on the floor in a
attacks while you’re on the floor in a
attacks while you’re on the floor in a fetal position multiple times a day and
fetal position multiple times a day and
fetal position multiple times a day and the doctors answer was here’s some
the doctors answer was here’s some
the doctors answer was here’s some medicine and when the medicine had side
medicine and when the medicine had side
medicine and when the medicine had side effects here’s some more medicine for
effects here’s some more medicine for
effects here’s some more medicine for the medicine side-effect and so on and
the medicine side-effect and so on and
the medicine side-effect and so on and so on and so on I was dying by trying to
so on and so on I was dying by trying to
so on and so on I was dying by trying to numb myself up during that time even
numb myself up during that time even
numb myself up during that time even though I had no idea what to do I kept
though I had no idea what to do I kept
though I had no idea what to do I kept hearing that voice keep going keep going
hearing that voice keep going keep going
hearing that voice keep going keep going keep going and sometimes I’m not gonna
keep going and sometimes I’m not gonna
keep going and sometimes I’m not gonna lie it made me mad I can’t do this I’m
lie it made me mad I can’t do this I’m
lie it made me mad I can’t do this I’m not strong enough I don’t know what you
not strong enough I don’t know what you
not strong enough I don’t know what you want from me move on the whole cliche if
want from me move on the whole cliche if
want from me move on the whole cliche if it doesn’t what doesn’t kill you makes
it doesn’t what doesn’t kill you makes
it doesn’t what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger infuriated me move on I’ve
you stronger infuriated me move on I’ve
you stronger infuriated me move on I’ve had my share I am the victim of this
had my share I am the victim of this
had my share I am the victim of this when my husband handed me those divorce
when my husband handed me those divorce
when my husband handed me those divorce papers I thought this is the end of my
papers I thought this is the end of my
papers I thought this is the end of my life I can’t make it this is it but yet
life I can’t make it this is it but yet
life I can’t make it this is it but yet I still kept going because I had that
I still kept going because I had that
I still kept going because I had that voice inside of me even though I had no
voice inside of me even though I had no
voice inside of me even though I had no idea what I was gonna do I started
idea what I was gonna do I started
idea what I was gonna do I started volunteering I always look to help
volunteering I always look to help
volunteering I always look to help others when I don’t know what is going
others when I don’t know what is going
others when I don’t know what is going on in my life which is quite few I mean
on in my life which is quite few I mean
on in my life which is quite few I mean there’s not there’s not too many times
there’s not there’s not too many times
there’s not there’s not too many times where I bid this
where I bid this
where I bid this lost I’ve been lost but not this lost
lost I’ve been lost but not this lost
lost I’ve been lost but not this lost and I went to Children’s Medical City of
and I went to Children’s Medical City of
and I went to Children’s Medical City of Dallas in the children’s oncology ward I
Dallas in the children’s oncology ward I
Dallas in the children’s oncology ward I thought that I was going to teach these
thought that I was going to teach these
thought that I was going to teach these kids something but as is true for when
kids something but as is true for when
kids something but as is true for when most of us adults try to teach children
most of us adults try to teach children
most of us adults try to teach children something they’re the ones who taught me
something they’re the ones who taught me
something they’re the ones who taught me they literally saved my life you see I
they literally saved my life you see I
they literally saved my life you see I was there two months before I saw a
was there two months before I saw a
was there two months before I saw a little girl who was three and she got a
little girl who was three and she got a
little girl who was three and she got a box that I knew very well except
box that I knew very well except
box that I knew very well except something different was in this box but
something different was in this box but
something different was in this box but in that one moment she started to cry
in that one moment she started to cry
in that one moment she started to cry and I had an aha moment of all of these
and I had an aha moment of all of these
and I had an aha moment of all of these things that I was trying to play the
things that I was trying to play the
things that I was trying to play the victim off that I was saying oh why me
victim off that I was saying oh why me
victim off that I was saying oh why me this is awful this is the end of my life
this is awful this is the end of my life
this is awful this is the end of my life all of these things were blessings they
all of these things were blessings they
all of these things were blessings they were gifts that I was being given so I
were gifts that I was being given so I
were gifts that I was being given so I would have this experience so I would
would have this experience so I would
would have this experience so I would know why I was here on this earth you
know why I was here on this earth you
know why I was here on this earth you see what was in this Barbie box was the
see what was in this Barbie box was the
see what was in this Barbie box was the bald Barbie Ella right then right there
bald Barbie Ella right then right there
bald Barbie Ella right then right there my life changed and I knew that I had to
my life changed and I knew that I had to
my life changed and I knew that I had to find out more about this doll everyone
find out more about this doll everyone
find out more about this doll everyone needs one of these dolls
needs one of these dolls
needs one of these dolls Mattel won’t sell her they give her away
Mattel won’t sell her they give her away
Mattel won’t sell her they give her away to three nonprofits they’ll like to tell
to three nonprofits they’ll like to tell
to three nonprofits they’ll like to tell you it’s because they just want certain
you it’s because they just want certain
you it’s because they just want certain people to have the dolls that need them
people to have the dolls that need them
people to have the dolls that need them but I know a better story and I think we
but I know a better story and I think we
but I know a better story and I think we all do Society and especially our
all do Society and especially our
all do Society and especially our society is not ready for strong powerful
society is not ready for strong powerful
society is not ready for strong powerful unique women to step into their power
unique women to step into their power
unique women to step into their power and to say no thank you with that Barbie
and to say no thank you with that Barbie
and to say no thank you with that Barbie I’ll make my own Barbie but you know
I’ll make my own Barbie but you know
I’ll make my own Barbie but you know what I figured they don’t really have a
what I figured they don’t really have a
what I figured they don’t really have a choice anymore that’s when I found in my
choice anymore that’s when I found in my
choice anymore that’s when I found in my company I am general Roman of the bald
company I am general Roman of the bald
company I am general Roman of the bald Barbie army and I’m here to redefine
Barbie army and I’m here to redefine
Barbie army and I’m here to redefine beauty one doll at a time my troops and
beauty one doll at a time my troops and
beauty one doll at a time my troops and I are on a revolutionary path to
I are on a revolutionary path to
I are on a revolutionary path to change the way that society looks at
change the way that society looks at
change the way that society looks at beautiful that was my old story let me
beautiful that was my old story let me
beautiful that was my old story let me just give you a quick rundown of what my
just give you a quick rundown of what my
just give you a quick rundown of what my life looks like now I invested in myself
life looks like now I invested in myself
life looks like now I invested in myself for the first time ever and hired an
for the first time ever and hired an
for the first time ever and hired an amazing life coach Emily Rose who helped
amazing life coach Emily Rose who helped
amazing life coach Emily Rose who helped me not form just my one business but two
me not form just my one business but two
me not form just my one business but two so that now I can support myself I am
so that now I can support myself I am
so that now I can support myself I am NOT a trophy wife I don’t have to work a
NOT a trophy wife I don’t have to work a
NOT a trophy wife I don’t have to work a regular job I do my dream job every day
regular job I do my dream job every day
regular job I do my dream job every day I have an amazing boyfriend of almost
I have an amazing boyfriend of almost
I have an amazing boyfriend of almost two years which if you would have told
two years which if you would have told
two years which if you would have told me that would have ever happened I would
me that would have ever happened I would
me that would have ever happened I would have said no who’s also an advocate for
have said no who’s also an advocate for
have said no who’s also an advocate for actors with disabilities I have so many
actors with disabilities I have so many
actors with disabilities I have so many friends that love and support me and
friends that love and support me and
friends that love and support me and lift me up that it blows my mind
lift me up that it blows my mind
lift me up that it blows my mind sometimes and the whole thing is this
sometimes and the whole thing is this
sometimes and the whole thing is this isn’t me being special and different
isn’t me being special and different
isn’t me being special and different from you
from you
from you this is all because I trusted a little
this is all because I trusted a little
this is all because I trusted a little voice inside of me that said keep going
voice inside of me that said keep going
voice inside of me that said keep going keep going keep going when I was writing
keep going keep going when I was writing
keep going keep going when I was writing the speech I realized that it’s okay if
the speech I realized that it’s okay if
the speech I realized that it’s okay if you don’t hear that voice because that’s
you don’t hear that voice because that’s
you don’t hear that voice because that’s why I am so incredibly blessed to be up
why I am so incredibly blessed to be up
why I am so incredibly blessed to be up here this is a dream come true for me
here this is a dream come true for me
here this is a dream come true for me what I realized is I’m going to be that
what I realized is I’m going to be that
what I realized is I’m going to be that voice for you and for everyone who sees
voice for you and for everyone who sees
voice for you and for everyone who sees this I am general Roman of the ball
this I am general Roman of the ball
this I am general Roman of the ball Barbie army and I am here to tell you
Barbie army and I am here to tell you
Barbie army and I am here to tell you keep going keep going keep going
keep going keep going keep going
keep going keep going keep going thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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