[Music]
[Applause]
ladies and gentlemen thank you for being today
I have come to tell you that all of you
they are going to die peacefully no and not now
I have not put a bomb but in reality
what I want to say is that all
us at some point of our
lives we are going to die
and this that seems so obvious so
logical so obvious
you will tell me nacho this and what
we know it’s not really so logical
not so obvious and as much as we know
many of us choose not to talk about
this topic I think most of the
people choose to avoid talking about this
theme I mean death is a
question of bad publicity to see
probably many of you in this
they are thinking today that they fear the
death just after so many talks
motivators so beautiful and is that
it really costs us to talk about death
it costs us for several reasons in general
because it evokes situations of loss
situations that departure of some being
beloved or diseases is a subject that
we avoid touching death is one of the
great taboos of our times in
our side of the world
talk about death generates suffering
that’s what we’re convinced but
paradoxically today I am here to
tell them just the opposite that
I think we talk about death in the form
timely timely and appropriate
far from making us suffer is not going to
help relieve suffering to the
time to face death to our
life of a loved one
two houses
before this I want to tell you a
history the story of one of my
francisco patients and their family to
who accompany
about three years ago
francisco lived in tussam his family
still lived 80 kilometers from the
city of mendoza a very person
dear in your community
his family also filled with full friends
of people that what I appreciated
a very active person a family
numerous where he had killed his wife
they were their teenage grandchildren and
more children younger than they were always
around francisco I had cancer
prostate cancer
believe me if there is one more word
difficult to pronounce for patients
and also for doctors even more
difficult that the word death is the
word cancer because death
many times we relate it to the end
but cancer
many times is the principle the
principle of pain the principle of
agony the beginning of the loss
the beginning of the francisco suffering
I had chosen not to name the word
cancer and his family I decided
therefore respect this decision
we talk about francisco’s disease
the problem of francisco the prostate of
francisco accompany us for four
approximately months
first as a doctor then as a doctor and
friend in these four months we went
working together some of the tasks
of the doctors that we care
palliatives have to do on the one hand
with control of the symptoms that go
appearing along those of the
diseases pain shortness of breath
Nausea discomfort
on the other hand very important almost so
important as the first one is the
accompaniment from the spiritual from
the emotional from the social and also
we are working with the patient and the
family to prepare for what is
comes
believe me I’m honest with this the
work in this case the control of
symptoms was
about its progress was quite simple
but talk about such transcendent topics
how the game was a bit more difficult
throughout four months francisco was
losing functionality of being a
active person began to be more
confined first to his house then to his
room but he never stopped being alone
his family always around and the
friends that he used to visit he came to
see the house there were times that
go to his house that was not surrounded
of people
There are times during the
life threatening diseases
where symptoms appear that doctors
make us suspect or suppose that the end
the end of the process is near
we can not say with certainty when a
person to start but we can assume
that time is limited from a
point in one of the last visits
francisco presented one of these symptoms
what we call delirium
this is started aggressively
disorientation some hallucinations
this generates a lot of anguish in the
obviously and in his family that saw him and
he did not recognize his relative in those
attitudes
on that visit I had to take some
determinations some decisions
important
the first was to medicate it to relieve
symptom and while we wait for it to do
effect of the medication
let’s take a second decision between
we all load it to francisco in the
wheelchair and we take them to your
place in the world your patio place where
he was happy everything was in his
plants his animals was with
your friends to take medium mate to the
pineapples we could climb to the chair
wheels and we carry them while only
He is walking with the wheelchair as a
third and a third decision maybe
the most transcendent fundamental issue
I decided it was time to name
things because if we did not do it in
that moment probably not what
we could do later and before the
Your family’s question about whether
francisco was serious
the answer was yes
francisco is serious francisco
It is starting the process from
wait for another reaction after four
months of working with his family and with
he
I really expected so much from May a
She cries but then were not however
there was silence and accompanying that silence
a very large voltage very similar to the
that it becomes clear that we have in this
moment I took a third determination
the founding fathers of psychology and
they lit up at that time and they told me
nacho say is that they bring dishes from the
kitchen
this is not guaranteed by any
psychological society an invention of mine not
It’s still patented but I asked you to
they brought dishes and the girls the daughters
de francisco with the same look
distrust that I see very now
decided to humor him were
and they looked for plates a dish for each one
a dish for his wife pleasing to me and
the slogan was to break that plate with
all the force with all the anger with
all the sadness burst what against the
wall to sell it against the floor
one of his daughters as the first dish and
half doubting the robe I look at him burst it
against the floor and at that time he could not
contain the crying could not contain the
crying and all that energy all that
sadness accumulated by what was
going through what we knew what was
happening but we could not name in
these last four months started to
break free and seeing this his sister took
the plate and it burst it against the wall and
his mother later and I after the four
sections and all that was released and in that
moment while the four sections and we
we looked and we really felt
united in tears
the four cents the same voice that
He came down and told us to stop
break the crockery
it was francisco that was there and in s
at that time both saints began to
escape the smiles
It was a moment terribly reason
they joined the crying with laughter and a
terribly painful situation that
we had just named he could live
with another with another climate
a few days later francisco departed
at home with his family with his friends
in his bed accompanied and he did not stop being
a sad moment did not stop being a
sad moment but lived with a peace
totally different in that room
breathed tranquility breathes peace in
the medium of pain by missing a
person who was leaving at that time
they also escaped some smiles
we had managed to name what
it was happening it was maybe a little late
but it was not late enough
to relieve the suffering at the moment
to leave
there are some things that we should not name
that’s what they teach us they teach us of
guys that do not talk about death
if we talk about death we bring it three
things you could not talk in my house
when I was a death boy because
We brought it with diseases because
They gave bad luck and what they did admit
Juan in the background with the neighbor another taboo
we ‘re not going we ‘re not going to touch today
today happily married and we grow with
this belief not of death is not
talk about death is not talked about because
we will suffer if we do it because what
let’s bring some things happen when
one talks about a topic specifically with
death
The first thing that happens is that we started
ignore it
total if I do not see it does not exist and at
ignore it we start to believe that
We never will never touch we go to
die
we started to believe the immortals and a
a person who thinks he is immortal does not think
that something may happen to him in the future and
we stop doing things that never
it’s going to happen nothing we are ‘we are we
handsome young people will never happen to us
nothing do not say hello to my children this morning
good greet him the afternoon when I arrived
I do not know the good machu picchu
summer that comes travel I did not tell him what
I loved
well then later and we do not own
of the future we do not know when it will be
that later and if you go to either
we plan
I ask you any of
you have thought how you want it to be
your wake up your hand some
some raise their hands well with music
with music is what in care
palliatives we call wills
anticipated to be clear about what we want
for when we are not or not
We can make our own decisions and
someone communicate them to the
can take for us even though it
fulfill our will
unfortunately this is not what happens
usually because of this I tell you
that we are increasingly afraid of
throughout our lives to talk about
these issues and you will tell me
nacho it is difficult to talk about death
truth that is a subject that is not something
cute and not the truth that is not easy not
It is easy
we can not talk about something else
we can talk about something else
in a little while let’s talk about something else
let me tell you something something before the
death
we are prepared , it takes us by surprise
and it hits us like a cachetón in the face
when I was a boy I lived in my house
grandfather in luján luján whose 20
kilometers from the city of mendoza
it was my place of security my strength
place a safe house lived with me
grandpa with my parents with my uncles all
I took care of the place where nothing could
spend a night I woke up because of a noise
very strong in the kitchen and the first thing that
I thought a thief got my bubble
security of the place of trust had
been violated I was not sure in that
place that protected me
I felt helpless I obviously did what
anyone with two fingers
in front of anyone with logic
I had done at that time any
seven year old child or any adult
Luis made
I grabbed the goal sheet to be up
I started to cry and pray to all
saints so that the situation will
will magically solve but not the
As time passed, I felt the
steps closer and closer
the thief was approaching me
I came down from the savannah and felt his steps
I felt helpless and I stopped when
I felt that the thief was inside of me
piece and his steps were there next to
my bed
I decided I was not going to breathe because if
he did, he could find me and stop
breathe for a while
the thief was actually a jumping cat
to my bed and the fright that hit me until
today melo terrible agreement that
in peace, rest the cat
but notice how beautiful analogy
death comes to us like a thief
In the middle of the night
we do not know when it will arrive but
when it does if we are not prepared
break our security bubble and
this that we have been growing that never
it was going to happen to us all at once and not
with lan with death our only
that to get to everyone and can not be
also with the death of some
wanted or with the potential death of a
to be loved
if he catches us by surprise he grabs us
half of the night and we’re not
prepared and we are paralyzed we do not know
what to do
we really do not know what to do
was this situation does not know that no
we know where to run what we do
we run furniture we go to the living room
wake
he is still alive is there and not
we know what to do
we even stop breathing we feel
suffocated by the situation
that’s why I think this can be prevented
if you say to me again nacho like
how can we do to talk about
this topic is not so simple let’s talk
another good thing let’s talk about something else
imagine the following example floor
marta, do not you think it’s about time
let’s tell the baby that Santa Claus and the
Kings
we are today alfredo do not you think that
we were going to suffer let’s break the
delusion
Marta is suspected them is
asking questions something we have to
say today alfredo please stand
one year plus one year more I do not want to break
the illusion I do not want Marta to suffer
He is 27 years old
with things as pretty as you are
illusions and fantasies that we created for
our children and mule in his world
imagination as there are nine reds the
Perez mouse with these beautiful things
it costs us so much to face the truth
the time to do it
The more it will cost us to talk about
death a transcendental subject not
it’s easy is not easy and I can not
teach them in 18 minutes
how to do it but I can assure you
what to do to alleviate suffering
at the time of facing it
Believe me that’s how much it costs us
talk about this topic really how much we
it costs how to do it
I can not tell you but I do have to
invite them to do it where with their
friends in your work with your family not
stop doing it do not stop doing it
how do I do it
a party a party arrived I introduce myself
the great pleasure nacho if as we think
that is your wake today the soul of the
party I surround myself with people at the beginning
it costs but when we manage to naturalize
this topic becomes much simpler than
it’s a lot less painful
Believe me less than two months ago he died
my dad
roberto grandfather tell my
daughters and talking to my oldest daughter
Olivia five years about death
of the grandfather I asked him
coli that we believe is death and is
factly he told me Dad
death when the body gets out of
inside the ghost
notice what clarity not what image so
very influenced by the drawings
obviously, but what image
so clear and what the guys say
of death the boys do not underestimate
the ability of children to understand
these issues suitable to your development
natural to his psychological development
natural
these issues can be touched with the
guys the biggest concern
Libya was that his grandfather became
in zombie
once this topic is clarified we can
keep talking
Bolivia decided that the best place to
grandfather roberto was in the memory
because there in memories was where
I could only go to visit how many times
would like and so those memories do not
distorted we decided to make a
memories notebook where it will be drawn
to grandfather as many times as he wanted and
we could have a clear picture of
the boys have a special capacity
To understand this, do not underestimate it.
I can tell you that it is a task
simple but yes that is necessary
we relate death as if it were what
opposite of life water fire
day / night life or death really me
I believe that death is not the opposite of
life
I believe that death is the lack of
love love love without death
notice what a clear concept so
important when a person leaves
it goes really really goes with us and
we remember and still love
that’s why I tell you enjoy not to stop
to call
thank you very much for being
to
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