let’s have a conversation hi my name is Kelsey and I’m crazy I’m insane I’m a
Kelsey and I’m crazy I’m insane I’m a
Kelsey and I’m crazy I’m insane I’m a psycho I’m mad I’m violent
psycho I’m mad I’m violent
psycho I’m mad I’m violent I’m overdramatic I’m selfish I’m weird
I’m overdramatic I’m selfish I’m weird
I’m overdramatic I’m selfish I’m weird and I’m attention-seeking these are all
and I’m attention-seeking these are all
and I’m attention-seeking these are all words that describe me and anyone else
words that describe me and anyone else
words that describe me and anyone else that struggles with a mental illness or
that struggles with a mental illness or
that struggles with a mental illness or at least that’s what the media tells us
at least that’s what the media tells us
at least that’s what the media tells us this is me at 13 and 14 basically peak
this is me at 13 and 14 basically peak
this is me at 13 and 14 basically peak awkward age and one thing you’ll notice
awkward age and one thing you’ll notice
awkward age and one thing you’ll notice is that I’m smiling I was generally
is that I’m smiling I was generally
is that I’m smiling I was generally happy but this was also around the time
happy but this was also around the time
happy but this was also around the time that I started to experience symptoms of
that I started to experience symptoms of
that I started to experience symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder a mental
generalized anxiety disorder a mental
generalized anxiety disorder a mental illness I would find myself overwhelmed
illness I would find myself overwhelmed
illness I would find myself overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety and
with feelings of anxiety and
with feelings of anxiety and restlessness and just something that I
restlessness and just something that I
restlessness and just something that I couldn’t shake so obviously paying
couldn’t shake so obviously paying
couldn’t shake so obviously paying attention in class was pretty difficult
attention in class was pretty difficult
attention in class was pretty difficult and not to mention that I was super
and not to mention that I was super
and not to mention that I was super paranoid that the people around me could
paranoid that the people around me could
paranoid that the people around me could notice that I was having these internal
notice that I was having these internal
notice that I was having these internal battles in my mind so that amped it up a
battles in my mind so that amped it up a
battles in my mind so that amped it up a little bit because we really didn’t talk
little bit because we really didn’t talk
little bit because we really didn’t talk about mental health in my school so I
about mental health in my school so I
about mental health in my school so I kind of just thought that this was a
kind of just thought that this was a
kind of just thought that this was a Kelsey issue eventually of course I
Kelsey issue eventually of course I
Kelsey issue eventually of course I learned that it was a mental illness and
learned that it was a mental illness and
learned that it was a mental illness and I did what most people do I kept it on
I did what most people do I kept it on
I did what most people do I kept it on the quiet down low and I went to my
the quiet down low and I went to my
the quiet down low and I went to my doctor I got a prescription everything
doctor I got a prescription everything
doctor I got a prescription everything was good nobody had to know but
was good nobody had to know but
was good nobody had to know but something happened when I turned 17 that
something happened when I turned 17 that
something happened when I turned 17 that made it so that medication wasn’t enough
made it so that medication wasn’t enough
made it so that medication wasn’t enough this is me at 17 I just had been
this is me at 17 I just had been
this is me at 17 I just had been performing in a performance at my school
performing in a performance at my school
performing in a performance at my school called Dance Theatre and a few hours
called Dance Theatre and a few hours
called Dance Theatre and a few hours after this photo was taken I was raped
after this photo was taken I was raped
after this photo was taken I was raped yeah me too this is something that I’ve
yeah me too this is something that I’ve
yeah me too this is something that I’ve only recently started opening up about
only recently started opening up about
only recently started opening up about because it’s something that I didn’t
because it’s something that I didn’t
because it’s something that I didn’t want to accept I was ashamed and
want to accept I was ashamed and
want to accept I was ashamed and embarrassed and I just didn’t want it to
embarrassed and I just didn’t want it to
embarrassed and I just didn’t want it to be something people knew but the toll it
be something people knew but the toll it
be something people knew but the toll it took on my anxiety was substantial I
took on my anxiety was substantial I
took on my anxiety was substantial I started to experience frequent panic
started to experience frequent panic
started to experience frequent panic attacks I had days where I couldn’t get
attacks I had days where I couldn’t get
attacks I had days where I couldn’t get out of bed because I was just so
out of bed because I was just so
out of bed because I was just so overwhelmed with anxiety and I became
overwhelmed with anxiety and I became
overwhelmed with anxiety and I became physically ill from the worry and yes
physically ill from the worry and yes
physically ill from the worry and yes that’s possible
that’s possible
that’s possible and eventually I got to college and I
and eventually I got to college and I
and eventually I got to college and I had a day where I just felt like it was
had a day where I just felt like it was
had a day where I just felt like it was the end I was suicidal but I didn’t want
the end I was suicidal but I didn’t want
the end I was suicidal but I didn’t want to give up on myself I knew I had a
to give up on myself I knew I had a
to give up on myself I knew I had a future so I called the suicide hotline
future so I called the suicide hotline
future so I called the suicide hotline and from there I started to take regular
and from there I started to take regular
and from there I started to take regular attendance to therapy and the best thing
attendance to therapy and the best thing
attendance to therapy and the best thing that happened was that I got involved
that happened was that I got involved
that happened was that I got involved with an organization called Active Minds
with an organization called Active Minds
with an organization called Active Minds which is a national organization with
which is a national organization with
which is a national organization with over 300 chapters on different college
over 300 chapters on different college
over 300 chapters on different college campuses obviously including Penn State
campuses obviously including Penn State
campuses obviously including Penn State and through this organization I found my
and through this organization I found my
and through this organization I found my voice and I learned that it’s okay to
voice and I learned that it’s okay to
voice and I learned that it’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to speak about
not be okay and it’s okay to speak about
not be okay and it’s okay to speak about mental health because what a lot of
mental health because what a lot of
mental health because what a lot of people don’t realize is that one in five
people don’t realize is that one in five
people don’t realize is that one in five Americans experience mental illness 50%
Americans experience mental illness 50%
Americans experience mental illness 50% of all chronic mental illnesses begin by
of all chronic mental illnesses begin by
of all chronic mental illnesses begin by age 14 and 75% by age 24 60% of people
age 14 and 75% by age 24 60% of people
age 14 and 75% by age 24 60% of people with a mental illness don’t receive
with a mental illness don’t receive
with a mental illness don’t receive treatment and suicide is the third
treatment and suicide is the third
treatment and suicide is the third leading cause of death in youth ages 10
leading cause of death in youth ages 10
leading cause of death in youth ages 10 through 24 so you would think that these
through 24 so you would think that these
through 24 so you would think that these statistics would lead the media to try
statistics would lead the media to try
statistics would lead the media to try to promote positive message on mental
to promote positive message on mental
to promote positive message on mental health to encourage people to seek the
health to encourage people to seek the
health to encourage people to seek the treatment that they need
treatment that they need
treatment that they need but what I found is it’s very much the
but what I found is it’s very much the
but what I found is it’s very much the opposite and initially when I was
opposite and initially when I was
opposite and initially when I was planning this talk I was gonna provide
planning this talk I was gonna provide
planning this talk I was gonna provide you some real examples with video and
you some real examples with video and
you some real examples with video and audio and images but you know there was
audio and images but you know there was
audio and images but you know there was fun copyright laws let’s say I can’t do
fun copyright laws let’s say I can’t do
fun copyright laws let’s say I can’t do that so instead what I’m gonna do is
that so instead what I’m gonna do is
that so instead what I’m gonna do is talk about the areas of the media that
talk about the areas of the media that
talk about the areas of the media that you can see these messages and these
you can see these messages and these
you can see these messages and these negative context of mental health and
negative context of mental health and
negative context of mental health and encourage you to look for them
encourage you to look for them
encourage you to look for them yourselves
yourselves
yourselves starting with print media now typically
starting with print media now typically
starting with print media now typically with print media you’ll see the
with print media you’ll see the
with print media you’ll see the magazines that talk about your body
magazines that talk about your body
magazines that talk about your body specifically women’s bodies who’s gained
specifically women’s bodies who’s gained
specifically women’s bodies who’s gained weight who’s losing weight who has the
weight who’s losing weight who has the
weight who’s losing weight who has the best body who is the worst body and this
best body who is the worst body and this
best body who is the worst body and this in turn is what encourages body
in turn is what encourages body
in turn is what encourages body dysmorphia and eating disorders in
dysmorphia and eating disorders in
dysmorphia and eating disorders in movies particularly horror movies maybe
movies particularly horror movies maybe
movies particularly horror movies maybe like split by M night Shyamalan or the
like split by M night Shyamalan or the
like split by M night Shyamalan or the ward by John Carpenter mental illness is
ward by John Carpenter mental illness is
ward by John Carpenter mental illness is used as a scare tactic which is
used as a scare tactic which is
used as a scare tactic which is turned into our pop-culture Halloween
turned into our pop-culture Halloween
turned into our pop-culture Halloween costumes because mental illness becomes
costumes because mental illness becomes
costumes because mental illness becomes a joke and it’s something funny and
a joke and it’s something funny and
a joke and it’s something funny and scary at the same time that we can dress
scary at the same time that we can dress
scary at the same time that we can dress up as a Halloween and then in television
up as a Halloween and then in television
up as a Halloween and then in television speaking of mental illness being funny
speaking of mental illness being funny
speaking of mental illness being funny even in our favorite shows like the
even in our favorite shows like the
even in our favorite shows like the office or Always Sunny in Philadelphia
office or Always Sunny in Philadelphia
office or Always Sunny in Philadelphia you’ll see these references to mental
you’ll see these references to mental
you’ll see these references to mental health in just a joking connotation
health in just a joking connotation
health in just a joking connotation which is also unhealthy and then in the
which is also unhealthy and then in the
which is also unhealthy and then in the news the only time you’ll see mental
news the only time you’ll see mental
news the only time you’ll see mental illness in the news is when it
illness in the news is when it
illness in the news is when it accompanies headlines like this some
accompanies headlines like this some
accompanies headlines like this some terrible terrible headlines about
terrible terrible headlines about
terrible terrible headlines about violence associated with mental illness
violence associated with mental illness
violence associated with mental illness but the thing that a lot of people don’t
but the thing that a lot of people don’t
but the thing that a lot of people don’t know is that an individual with a mental
know is that an individual with a mental
know is that an individual with a mental illness is actually 10 times more likely
illness is actually 10 times more likely
illness is actually 10 times more likely to be a victim of a violent act than to
to be a victim of a violent act than to
to be a victim of a violent act than to cause it we’re more likely to be a harm
cause it we’re more likely to be a harm
cause it we’re more likely to be a harm to ourselves social media now this is
to ourselves social media now this is
to ourselves social media now this is the big one because people aren’t
the big one because people aren’t
the big one because people aren’t filtering on social media they can say
filtering on social media they can say
filtering on social media they can say whatever they want and this is where
whatever they want and this is where
whatever they want and this is where you’ll see the conversations that lead
you’ll see the conversations that lead
you’ll see the conversations that lead people to keep their diagnosis to
people to keep their diagnosis to
people to keep their diagnosis to themselves and not seek treatment
themselves and not seek treatment
themselves and not seek treatment because they don’t want people to think
because they don’t want people to think
because they don’t want people to think these things about them like when you
these things about them like when you
these things about them like when you see a popular news site post an article
see a popular news site post an article
see a popular news site post an article about college counselors seeing a record
about college counselors seeing a record
about college counselors seeing a record number of mental health issues and
number of mental health issues and
number of mental health issues and college students you’ll see comments
college students you’ll see comments
college students you’ll see comments like this basically the rhetoric that I
like this basically the rhetoric that I
like this basically the rhetoric that I talked about in the beginning crazy
talked about in the beginning crazy
talked about in the beginning crazy insane psycho
insane psycho
insane psycho oh there’s selfish oh they’re a bunch of
oh there’s selfish oh they’re a bunch of
oh there’s selfish oh they’re a bunch of pansies their parents aren’t raising
pansies their parents aren’t raising
pansies their parents aren’t raising them right they’re not going to be
them right they’re not going to be
them right they’re not going to be productive in life but things are
productive in life but things are
productive in life but things are starting to change thankfully we do have
starting to change thankfully we do have
starting to change thankfully we do have influencers celebrities stepping up to
influencers celebrities stepping up to
influencers celebrities stepping up to share their stories like Demi Lovato we
share their stories like Demi Lovato we
share their stories like Demi Lovato we have popular clothing brands like
have popular clothing brands like
have popular clothing brands like American Eagle promoting body positivity
American Eagle promoting body positivity
American Eagle promoting body positivity we have amazing TV shows like this is a
we have amazing TV shows like this is a
we have amazing TV shows like this is a special ever
special ever
special ever to talk about addiction and anxiety
to talk about addiction and anxiety
to talk about addiction and anxiety issues and this is all fantastic but the
issues and this is all fantastic but the
issues and this is all fantastic but the main thing that stuck out to me was a
main thing that stuck out to me was a
main thing that stuck out to me was a certain song you probably have heard it
certain song you probably have heard it
certain song you probably have heard it on the radio one eight hundred two seven
on the radio one eight hundred two seven
on the radio one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five by logic now
three eight two five five by logic now
three eight two five five by logic now this song is different from what you
this song is different from what you
this song is different from what you hear on the radio because it’s not
hear on the radio because it’s not
hear on the radio because it’s not singing about sex or drugs or partying
singing about sex or drugs or partying
singing about sex or drugs or partying you know the stuff that our culture
you know the stuff that our culture
you know the stuff that our culture loves it’s talking about suicidal
loves it’s talking about suicidal
loves it’s talking about suicidal Berenice the title of this song is the
Berenice the title of this song is the
Berenice the title of this song is the number for the suicide hotline and the
number for the suicide hotline and the
number for the suicide hotline and the statistics prove that when people know
statistics prove that when people know
statistics prove that when people know their resources they utilize them when
their resources they utilize them when
their resources they utilize them when this song was released in April of 2017
this song was released in April of 2017
this song was released in April of 2017 the suicide hotline saw an increase in
the suicide hotline saw an increase in
the suicide hotline saw an increase in their call volume the second-highest
their call volume the second-highest
their call volume the second-highest they had ever received that day when it
they had ever received that day when it
they had ever received that day when it was performed at the VMAs in August they
was performed at the VMAs in August they
was performed at the VMAs in August they had the 50% increase in call volume and
had the 50% increase in call volume and
had the 50% increase in call volume and just recently when it was performed at
just recently when it was performed at
just recently when it was performed at the Grammys they saw 75% increase in
the Grammys they saw 75% increase in
the Grammys they saw 75% increase in their call volume maybe some of you have
their call volume maybe some of you have
their call volume maybe some of you have seen these semi colon tattoos on some of
seen these semi colon tattoos on some of
seen these semi colon tattoos on some of your friends or just maybe around on the
your friends or just maybe around on the
your friends or just maybe around on the internet a semicolon is used when a
internet a semicolon is used when a
internet a semicolon is used when a writer wants to continue their sentence
writer wants to continue their sentence
writer wants to continue their sentence they could end it but they choose not to
they could end it but they choose not to
they could end it but they choose not to a semicolon represents that your story
a semicolon represents that your story
a semicolon represents that your story isn’t over and it’s been picked up by
isn’t over and it’s been picked up by
isn’t over and it’s been picked up by the mental health community as a suicide
the mental health community as a suicide
the mental health community as a suicide awareness tattoo and a way to start a
awareness tattoo and a way to start a
awareness tattoo and a way to start a positive conversation on mental health
positive conversation on mental health
positive conversation on mental health now I’m not saying that you have to go
now I’m not saying that you have to go
now I’m not saying that you have to go out and get a tattoo in order to start
out and get a tattoo in order to start
out and get a tattoo in order to start positive conversations on that until
positive conversations on that until
positive conversations on that until health and that’s why I’ve been working
health and that’s why I’ve been working
health and that’s why I’ve been working on building a website / blog that I’m
on building a website / blog that I’m
on building a website / blog that I’m working into a collaborative piece for
working into a collaborative piece for
working into a collaborative piece for people to submit their stories and to
people to submit their stories and to
people to submit their stories and to openly share their experiences with
openly share their experiences with
openly share their experiences with mental illness and mental health to
mental illness and mental health to
mental illness and mental health to hopefully inspire others to do the same
hopefully inspire others to do the same
hopefully inspire others to do the same and start positive conversations because
and start positive conversations because
and start positive conversations because stigma stops with open communication
stigma stops with open communication
stigma stops with open communication unfiltered emotion honest expression
unfiltered emotion honest expression
unfiltered emotion honest expression stigma stops here now you might be
stigma stops here now you might be
stigma stops here now you might be wondering how does somebody with anxiety
wondering how does somebody with anxiety
wondering how does somebody with anxiety get on stage to give its head talk and
get on stage to give its head talk and
get on stage to give its head talk and I’m not gonna lie I’m like shaking and
I’m not gonna lie I’m like shaking and
I’m not gonna lie I’m like shaking and I’m super nervous right now but I do
I’m super nervous right now but I do
I’m super nervous right now but I do have some experience on a stage in June
have some experience on a stage in June
have some experience on a stage in June of 2016 I decided to participate in the
of 2016 I decided to participate in the
of 2016 I decided to participate in the Miss Pennsylvania Scholarship Pageant
Miss Pennsylvania Scholarship Pageant
Miss Pennsylvania Scholarship Pageant and just like mental health and mental
and just like mental health and mental
and just like mental health and mental illness there’s a lot of negative
illness there’s a lot of negative
illness there’s a lot of negative stigmas that come attached to pageants
stigmas that come attached to pageants
stigmas that come attached to pageants like the girls are all bobbleheads
like the girls are all bobbleheads
like the girls are all bobbleheads superficial blah blah blah but the women
superficial blah blah blah but the women
superficial blah blah blah but the women in this picture there are some of my
in this picture there are some of my
in this picture there are some of my best friends and they inspire me every
best friends and they inspire me every
best friends and they inspire me every day to continue my message and this
day to continue my message and this
day to continue my message and this organization as a whole has inspired me
organization as a whole has inspired me
organization as a whole has inspired me to be in front of you today because it’s
to be in front of you today because it’s
to be in front of you today because it’s given me an opportunity to share a
given me an opportunity to share a
given me an opportunity to share a platform in a pretty unique way one of
platform in a pretty unique way one of
platform in a pretty unique way one of the parts of competition actually 35% of
the parts of competition actually 35% of
the parts of competition actually 35% of your score is made up of a 90 second
your score is made up of a 90 second
your score is made up of a 90 second talent and a lot of girls choose to sing
talent and a lot of girls choose to sing
talent and a lot of girls choose to sing or dance or play an instrument and
or dance or play an instrument and
or dance or play an instrument and they’re all phenomenal but I can’t do
they’re all phenomenal but I can’t do
they’re all phenomenal but I can’t do any of that so I had to get creative
any of that so I had to get creative
any of that so I had to get creative with what I wanted to do and I knew I
with what I wanted to do and I knew I
with what I wanted to do and I knew I wanted to spread my message so instead I
wanted to spread my message so instead I
wanted to spread my message so instead I do this according to society I’m insane
do this according to society I’m insane
do this according to society I’m insane I’m someone to avoid and someone to
I’m someone to avoid and someone to
I’m someone to avoid and someone to detain but listen just because I have a
detain but listen just because I have a
detain but listen just because I have a chemical imbalance in my brain does not
chemical imbalance in my brain does not
chemical imbalance in my brain does not mean that that is my domain you could
mean that that is my domain you could
mean that that is my domain you could pass me on the street and never know but
pass me on the street and never know but
pass me on the street and never know but wait suddenly you do and you label me
wait suddenly you do and you label me
wait suddenly you do and you label me psycho you say all I’m doing is putting
psycho you say all I’m doing is putting
psycho you say all I’m doing is putting on a show no these are the stigmas that
on a show no these are the stigmas that
on a show no these are the stigmas that really need to go because I’m not
really need to go because I’m not
really need to go because I’m not someone that sits on the side when I see
someone that sits on the side when I see
someone that sits on the side when I see a lot that needs to be clarified and to
a lot that needs to be clarified and to
a lot that needs to be clarified and to be perfectly honest I don’t see this as
be perfectly honest I don’t see this as
be perfectly honest I don’t see this as something to hide my disorder was not
something to hide my disorder was not
something to hide my disorder was not something I got to decide it’s one in
something I got to decide it’s one in
something I got to decide it’s one in five people across the nation that
five people across the nation that
five people across the nation that experience mental illness and somehow
experience mental illness and somehow
experience mental illness and somehow that’s not part of our education we need
that’s not part of our education we need
that’s not part of our education we need to step up and state the difference and
to step up and state the difference and
to step up and state the difference and establish open communication and say yes
establish open communication and say yes
establish open communication and say yes it’s okay to go to therapy or to take
it’s okay to go to therapy or to take
it’s okay to go to therapy or to take medication while others stay quiet I’m
medication while others stay quiet I’m
medication while others stay quiet I’m breaking the silence mental illness does
breaking the silence mental illness does
breaking the silence mental illness does not equal crazy or violence why do we
not equal crazy or violence why do we
not equal crazy or violence why do we let the media have this influence we
let the media have this influence we
let the media have this influence we need to step up and state the difference
need to step up and state the difference
need to step up and state the difference it’s taken me a long time to see that
it’s taken me a long time to see that
it’s taken me a long time to see that I’m so much more than my anxiety and I
I’m so much more than my anxiety and I
I’m so much more than my anxiety and I refuse to be limited by a label of
refuse to be limited by a label of
refuse to be limited by a label of disability I have a mental illness but I
disability I have a mental illness but I
disability I have a mental illness but I define me before I leave you today I
define me before I leave you today I
define me before I leave you today I want to provide some resources that for
want to provide some resources that for
want to provide some resources that for anybody who may need them the National
anybody who may need them the National
anybody who may need them the National Suicide Prevention lifeline is what I
Suicide Prevention lifeline is what I
Suicide Prevention lifeline is what I consider to have saved my life the
consider to have saved my life the
consider to have saved my life the crisis text line is a great alternative
crisis text line is a great alternative
crisis text line is a great alternative if you’d rather text and talk and stigma
if you’d rather text and talk and stigma
if you’d rather text and talk and stigma stop cierra org is my project that I’m
stop cierra org is my project that I’m
stop cierra org is my project that I’m launching soon as a way to encourage
launching soon as a way to encourage
launching soon as a way to encourage positive conversations on mental health
positive conversations on mental health
positive conversations on mental health I started a conversation with you today
I started a conversation with you today
I started a conversation with you today and it’s up to you to continue it thank
and it’s up to you to continue it thank
and it’s up to you to continue it thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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