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“THE BLESSINGS AND CURSES OF BEING A WOMAN IN TECH” | Marion Schleifer | TEDxMountainViewHighSchool


I’m a software developer and I want to

I’m a software developer and I want to make the tech industry more diverse when

make the tech industry more diverse when

make the tech industry more diverse when we develop a product we wanted to be

we develop a product we wanted to be

we develop a product we wanted to be used by as many people as possible and

used by as many people as possible and

used by as many people as possible and many different people men women disabled

many different people men women disabled

many different people men women disabled people people of color and many more

people people of color and many more

people people of color and many more when the airbag of the modern car was

when the airbag of the modern car was

when the airbag of the modern car was developed it was tested and then

developed it was tested and then

developed it was tested and then released to the market but the problem

released to the market but the problem

released to the market but the problem was that it was only tested with tall

was that it was only tested with tall

was that it was only tested with tall male dummies this resulted in the fact

male dummies this resulted in the fact

male dummies this resulted in the fact that some women and children died in car

that some women and children died in car

that some women and children died in car accident because the airbag was not

accident because the airbag was not

accident because the airbag was not designed for smaller people when the

designed for smaller people when the

designed for smaller people when the team that develops a product consists of

team that develops a product consists of

team that develops a product consists of people that are very similar we run the

people that are very similar we run the

people that are very similar we run the risk that we forget one or more groups

risk that we forget one or more groups

risk that we forget one or more groups of people that will end up using our

of people that will end up using our

of people that will end up using our product on the other hand if we have a

product on the other hand if we have a

product on the other hand if we have a diverse team with people of different

diverse team with people of different

diverse team with people of different backgrounds and stories and

backgrounds and stories and

backgrounds and stories and characteristics we have a higher chance

characteristics we have a higher chance

characteristics we have a higher chance of representing a larger user base of

of representing a larger user base of

of representing a larger user base of our product now I’m a software developer

our product now I’m a software developer

our product now I’m a software developer and ever since I joined the industry

and ever since I joined the industry

and ever since I joined the industry three years ago I’ve always been the

three years ago I’ve always been the

three years ago I’ve always been the only woman in my team and I found some

only woman in my team and I found some

only woman in my team and I found some good things about that for example the

good things about that for example the

good things about that for example the entry into the industry I found pretty

entry into the industry I found pretty

entry into the industry I found pretty easy I picked up my favorite company and

easy I picked up my favorite company and

easy I picked up my favorite company and I asked them for an internship and even

I asked them for an internship and even

I asked them for an internship and even though they didn’t have one they created

though they didn’t have one they created

though they didn’t have one they created a position for me and I could start two

a position for me and I could start two

a position for me and I could start two weeks later later when I asked my boss

weeks later later when I asked my boss

weeks later later when I asked my boss why they gave me this opportunity and

why they gave me this opportunity and

why they gave me this opportunity and they created this internship

they created this internship

they created this internship he said mainly because of my high

he said mainly because of my high

he said mainly because of my high motivation to learn but also they were

motivation to learn but also they were

motivation to learn but also they were looking to make their team more diverse

looking to make their team more diverse

looking to make their team more diverse because you see until that point the

because you see until that point the

because you see until that point the company had existed for eight years and

company had existed for eight years and

company had existed for eight years and they had never had a female developer

they had never had a female developer

they had never had a female developer until that point also having worked in

until that point also having worked in

until that point also having worked in other industries like the sports

other industries like the sports

other industries like the sports industry and the travel industry I found

industry and the travel industry I found

industry and the travel industry I found the people in

the people in

the people in the tech industry exceptionally helpful

the tech industry exceptionally helpful

the tech industry exceptionally helpful my teammates always answered all my

my teammates always answered all my

my teammates always answered all my questions they wanted me to learn and

questions they wanted me to learn and

questions they wanted me to learn and they gave me the feeling to belong there

they gave me the feeling to belong there

they gave me the feeling to belong there and they encouraged me to ask more

and they encouraged me to ask more

and they encouraged me to ask more questions they always made me feel

questions they always made me feel

questions they always made me feel comfortable even though I didn’t know

comfortable even though I didn’t know

comfortable even though I didn’t know many things about software development

many things about software development

many things about software development at that time but being the only woman in

at that time but being the only woman in

at that time but being the only woman in a software team has not always been easy

a software team has not always been easy

a software team has not always been easy sometimes when I went to work I felt

sometimes when I went to work I felt

sometimes when I went to work I felt like dressing nicely so and for that I

like dressing nicely so and for that I

like dressing nicely so and for that I got some weird comments from from

got some weird comments from from

got some weird comments from from colleagues at my company and one of the

colleagues at my company and one of the

colleagues at my company and one of the guys said you know you don’t have to

guys said you know you don’t have to

guys said you know you don’t have to dress up anymore

dress up anymore

dress up anymore you already got the job and I was like

you already got the job and I was like

you already got the job and I was like oh my god dude I think that I want to

oh my god dude I think that I want to

oh my god dude I think that I want to get some kind of advantage with the way

get some kind of advantage with the way

get some kind of advantage with the way I dress because this was not at all what

I dress because this was not at all what

I dress because this was not at all what I wanted so I thought I have to change

I wanted so I thought I have to change

I wanted so I thought I have to change myself I put my nice clothes on the back

myself I put my nice clothes on the back

myself I put my nice clothes on the back of my closet and I started wearing back

of my closet and I started wearing back

of my closet and I started wearing back conference t-shirts and hoodies like the

conference t-shirts and hoodies like the

conference t-shirts and hoodies like the guys did now they approved of that a lot

guys did now they approved of that a lot

guys did now they approved of that a lot one of them even congratulated me for

one of them even congratulated me for

one of them even congratulated me for becoming a nerd too but I didn’t feel

becoming a nerd too but I didn’t feel

becoming a nerd too but I didn’t feel very good about this not because I don’t

very good about this not because I don’t

very good about this not because I don’t like these clothes but I only did it to

like these clothes but I only did it to

like these clothes but I only did it to fit in so I went back to wearing the

fit in so I went back to wearing the

fit in so I went back to wearing the clothes I wanted I got some more strange

clothes I wanted I got some more strange

clothes I wanted I got some more strange comments and then it was fine then one

comments and then it was fine then one

comments and then it was fine then one day we went to work at the customers

day we went to work at the customers

day we went to work at the customers office and it was my first time there

office and it was my first time there

office and it was my first time there and I was walking down the aisle with a

and I was walking down the aisle with a

and I was walking down the aisle with a teammate of my company and then some

teammate of my company and then some

teammate of my company and then some guys from the customers company passed

guys from the customers company passed

guys from the customers company passed us and one of these guys asked my

us and one of these guys asked my

us and one of these guys asked my teammate hey dude is his bring your

teammate hey dude is his bring your

teammate hey dude is his bring your daughter to work day and I didn’t even

daughter to work day and I didn’t even

daughter to work day and I didn’t even know what to say and then my colleague

know what to say and then my colleague

know what to say and then my colleague said you know she’s a fully grown

said you know she’s a fully grown

said you know she’s a fully grown engineer and the other gap guy felt so

engineer and the other gap guy felt so

engineer and the other gap guy felt so bad about this and he apologized and he

bad about this and he apologized and he

bad about this and he apologized and he even bought me a cookie to make up for

even bought me a cookie to make up for

even bought me a cookie to make up for his mistake

his mistake

his mistake so yes I don’t think this will happen to

so yes I don’t think this will happen to

so yes I don’t think this will happen to him again so then I realized at that

him again so then I realized at that

him again so then I realized at that point that it was not normal for a woman

point that it was not normal for a woman

point that it was not normal for a woman to be in a technical position and people

to be in a technical position and people

to be in a technical position and people automatically associate this with

automatically associate this with

automatically associate this with something else so in this case I was my

something else so in this case I was my

something else so in this case I was my colleagues daughter even though I was

colleagues daughter even though I was

colleagues daughter even though I was only one year younger than he was and I

only one year younger than he was and I

only one year younger than he was and I wanted to change that because I don’t

wanted to change that because I don’t

wanted to change that because I don’t always want to explain myself why I’m a

always want to explain myself why I’m a

always want to explain myself why I’m a developer and also I don’t always want

developer and also I don’t always want

developer and also I don’t always want to be the only woman in my team so I

to be the only woman in my team so I

to be the only woman in my team so I co-founded a free programming course for

co-founded a free programming course for

co-founded a free programming course for women that’s running weekly to attract

women that’s running weekly to attract

women that’s running weekly to attract new women to software development to

new women to software development to

new women to software development to show them that it’s actually a very

show them that it’s actually a very

show them that it’s actually a very creative job that and that you have to

creative job that and that you have to

creative job that and that you have to have a lot of empathy to understand the

have a lot of empathy to understand the

have a lot of empathy to understand the users needs and that it’s not that we

users needs and that it’s not that we

users needs and that it’s not that we are not like wasted away nerds in

are not like wasted away nerds in

are not like wasted away nerds in cellars with crazy hair and uncapable of

cellars with crazy hair and uncapable of

cellars with crazy hair and uncapable of social interaction so and I’m very happy

social interaction so and I’m very happy

social interaction so and I’m very happy to say that some of these women are on

to say that some of these women are on

to say that some of these women are on their way are or already are software

their way are or already are software

their way are or already are software developers now so I’m very happy about

developers now so I’m very happy about

developers now so I’m very happy about this also I co-founded women techmakers

this also I co-founded women techmakers

this also I co-founded women techmakers this is a Google initiative to provide

this is a Google initiative to provide

this is a Google initiative to provide visibility and a platform for women in

visibility and a platform for women in

visibility and a platform for women in technology and I talk to many women and

technology and I talk to many women and

technology and I talk to many women and I realized that not only do we have the

I realized that not only do we have the

I realized that not only do we have the problem that many women don’t consider

problem that many women don’t consider

problem that many women don’t consider position in a technical field but also

position in a technical field but also

position in a technical field but also many women that used to work in a

many women that used to work in a

many women that used to work in a technical position left many times to

technical position left many times to

technical position left many times to work in marketing or communication and

work in marketing or communication and

work in marketing or communication and when I asked them for the reason about

when I asked them for the reason about

when I asked them for the reason about why they left they gave me some answers

why they left they gave me some answers

why they left they gave me some answers that made me think a lot and I want to

that made me think a lot and I want to

that made me think a lot and I want to share three of their statements with you

share three of their statements with you

share three of their statements with you one lady said my salary is much lower

one lady said my salary is much lower

one lady said my salary is much lower than the men’s salary even though our

than the men’s salary even though our

than the men’s salary even though our work is the same a second lady said

work is the same a second lady said

work is the same a second lady said I was the only woman in the team and

I was the only woman in the team and

I was the only woman in the team and they didn’t take me seriously as a

they didn’t take me seriously as a

they didn’t take me seriously as a female developer and the third lady said

female developer and the third lady said

female developer and the third lady said I applied for a promotion and even

I applied for a promotion and even

I applied for a promotion and even though my boss said that I was more

though my boss said that I was more

though my boss said that I was more suitable for the job they promoted the

suitable for the job they promoted the

suitable for the job they promoted the guy in my team because it was what

guy in my team because it was what

guy in my team because it was what everyone expected

everyone expected

everyone expected now I thought a long time about this and

now I thought a long time about this and

now I thought a long time about this and I did research on this and I came up

I did research on this and I came up

I did research on this and I came up with three main reasons for these

with three main reasons for these

with three main reasons for these problems

problems

problems the first is men tend to ask for more

the first is men tend to ask for more

the first is men tend to ask for more more salary for promotions and I wanted

more salary for promotions and I wanted

more salary for promotions and I wanted to find out if this was true so I talked

to find out if this was true so I talked

to find out if this was true so I talked to many guys in my company and outside

to many guys in my company and outside

to many guys in my company and outside and many of them said oh yeah I asked

and many of them said oh yeah I asked

and many of them said oh yeah I asked for a raise in every performance review

for a raise in every performance review

for a raise in every performance review when I asked women at our meetups about

when I asked women at our meetups about

when I asked women at our meetups about this topic they say oh no I’m already

this topic they say oh no I’m already

this topic they say oh no I’m already glad that they gave me a job and I don’t

glad that they gave me a job and I don’t

glad that they gave me a job and I don’t want to seem ungrateful and I think they

want to seem ungrateful and I think they

want to seem ungrateful and I think they will give me a raise when they think

will give me a raise when they think

will give me a raise when they think it’s time well from my experience you

it’s time well from my experience you

it’s time well from my experience you hardly get something for free without

hardly get something for free without

hardly get something for free without asking the second problem is the

asking the second problem is the

asking the second problem is the difference of the handling of success

difference of the handling of success

difference of the handling of success and failure in men and women men tend to

and failure in men and women men tend to

and failure in men and women men tend to attribute their success to themselves to

attribute their success to themselves to

attribute their success to themselves to their hard work to their skills and

their hard work to their skills and

their hard work to their skills and their failure to you know circumstances

their failure to you know circumstances

their failure to you know circumstances and bad luck on the other hand women

and bad luck on the other hand women

and bad luck on the other hand women tend to attribute their failures to

tend to attribute their failures to

tend to attribute their failures to themselves and the lack of skills and

themselves and the lack of skills and

themselves and the lack of skills and they attribute their success not to

they attribute their success not to

they attribute their success not to themselves but to the team and to being

themselves but to the team and to being

themselves but to the team and to being at the right place at the right time and

at the right place at the right time and

at the right place at the right time and this is all about how we present

this is all about how we present

this is all about how we present ourselves and I also did a little

ourselves and I also did a little

ourselves and I also did a little experiment on that with a friend of mine

experiment on that with a friend of mine

experiment on that with a friend of mine who’s also female developer we went to

who’s also female developer we went to

who’s also female developer we went to to a workshop like a hackathon where the

to a workshop like a hackathon where the

to a workshop like a hackathon where the main idea was to learn about new

main idea was to learn about new

main idea was to learn about new technologies and to build something with

technologies and to build something with

technologies and to build something with these new technologies and we were

these new technologies and we were

these new technologies and we were working and other teams passed by and

working and other teams passed by and

working and other teams passed by and asked how we were doing

asked how we were doing

asked how we were doing and she answered we are doing terrible

and she answered we are doing terrible

and she answered we are doing terrible and we almost didn’t achieve anything so

and we almost didn’t achieve anything so

and we almost didn’t achieve anything so far and I don’t think that this will go

far and I don’t think that this will go

far and I don’t think that this will go anywhere and then nobody passed by

anywhere and then nobody passed by

anywhere and then nobody passed by anymore and today was over some weeks

anymore and today was over some weeks

anymore and today was over some weeks later we attended such an event again

later we attended such an event again

later we attended such an event again people stopped buying asked how we were

people stopped buying asked how we were

people stopped buying asked how we were doing and before this time before she

doing and before this time before she

doing and before this time before she could answer I said we are doing correct

could answer I said we are doing correct

could answer I said we are doing correct we you know I’ve learned so many things

we you know I’ve learned so many things

we you know I’ve learned so many things in the last two hours we even started to

in the last two hours we even started to

in the last two hours we even started to build something and we will continue in

build something and we will continue in

build something and we will continue in the afternoon then I heard some people

the afternoon then I heard some people

the afternoon then I heard some people go to the organizers team and to tell

go to the organizers team and to tell

go to the organizers team and to tell them that they are onto something and I

them that they are onto something and I

them that they are onto something and I think they do a really good job in the

think they do a really good job in the

think they do a really good job in the end we got to present our project but

end we got to present our project but

end we got to present our project but guess what we didn’t achieve any more on

guess what we didn’t achieve any more on

guess what we didn’t achieve any more on the second day than we did on the first

the second day than we did on the first

the second day than we did on the first it was all about how we presented

it was all about how we presented

it was all about how we presented ourselves and our work the third problem

ourselves and our work the third problem

ourselves and our work the third problem and I think this is the most important

and I think this is the most important

and I think this is the most important is unconscious bias unconscious bias is

is unconscious bias unconscious bias is

is unconscious bias unconscious bias is the ability of our brain to categorize

the ability of our brain to categorize

the ability of our brain to categorize events that we experience and and like

events that we experience and and like

events that we experience and and like categorize them unconsciously for many

categorize them unconsciously for many

categorize them unconsciously for many things this is useful because our brain

things this is useful because our brain

things this is useful because our brain can’t handle everything consciously but

can’t handle everything consciously but

can’t handle everything consciously but it can be dangerous if decisions in the

it can be dangerous if decisions in the

it can be dangerous if decisions in the workplace are based on unconscious bias

workplace are based on unconscious bias

workplace are based on unconscious bias an example for this might be if a man

an example for this might be if a man

an example for this might be if a man and the woman applied for a promotion

and the woman applied for a promotion

and the woman applied for a promotion and there are only men in the team and

and there are only men in the team and

and there are only men in the team and the person making the decision is also a

the person making the decision is also a

the person making the decision is also a man and unconsciously he might think you

man and unconsciously he might think you

man and unconsciously he might think you know the man that applied here maybe he

know the man that applied here maybe he

know the man that applied here maybe he looks similar maybe he has similar

looks similar maybe he has similar

looks similar maybe he has similar values maybe they even went for beers in

values maybe they even went for beers in

values maybe they even went for beers in the last couple of weeks so he gets this

the last couple of weeks so he gets this

the last couple of weeks so he gets this kind of feeling that the man is more

kind of feeling that the man is more

kind of feeling that the man is more suitable for the job and when decisions

suitable for the job and when decisions

suitable for the job and when decisions are made on a basis of unconscious bias

are made on a basis of unconscious bias

are made on a basis of unconscious bias it’s very hard to argue even if you have

it’s very hard to argue even if you have

it’s very hard to argue even if you have facts on the table that the woman is

facts on the table that the woman is

facts on the table that the woman is more suitable now I thought a long time

more suitable now I thought a long time

more suitable now I thought a long time what we can do about this and free

what we can do about this and free

what we can do about this and free programming courses

programming courses

programming courses and meetups for women in tech is great

and meetups for women in tech is great

and meetups for women in tech is great but I find that that the only way to

but I find that that the only way to

but I find that that the only way to change this problem is if every woman in

change this problem is if every woman in

change this problem is if every woman in technology changes her own situation we

technology changes her own situation we

technology changes her own situation we should not wait until the industry

should not wait until the industry

should not wait until the industry magically changes itself we should be

magically changes itself we should be

magically changes itself we should be part of this change so if you’re a woman

part of this change so if you’re a woman

part of this change so if you’re a woman in technology and you feel that you are

in technology and you feel that you are

in technology and you feel that you are treated unfairly

treated unfairly

treated unfairly if you feel or you know that you get

if you feel or you know that you get

if you feel or you know that you get less salary for the same work

less salary for the same work

less salary for the same work you should call to your supervisor you

you should call to your supervisor you

you should call to your supervisor you should stand up for yourself and you

should stand up for yourself and you

should stand up for yourself and you should ask for more more salary because

should ask for more more salary because

should ask for more more salary because everyone else does it too and it it

everyone else does it too and it it

everyone else does it too and it it doesn’t hurt

doesn’t hurt

doesn’t hurt then next take credit for your success

then next take credit for your success

then next take credit for your success when you did a great job you can be

when you did a great job you can be

when you did a great job you can be proud of it

proud of it

proud of it of course many times it’s the work of

of course many times it’s the work of

of course many times it’s the work of the team but you can be proud of the

the team but you can be proud of the

the team but you can be proud of the contribution you made to that team and

contribution you made to that team and

contribution you made to that team and take credit for that and finally call

take credit for that and finally call

take credit for that and finally call out unconscious bias only then do the

out unconscious bias only then do the

out unconscious bias only then do the people working with us have the

people working with us have the

people working with us have the opportunity to change their behavior my

opportunity to change their behavior my

opportunity to change their behavior my colleague called out unconscious bias in

colleague called out unconscious bias in

colleague called out unconscious bias in the guy who asked if it’s bring your

the guy who asked if it’s bring your

the guy who asked if it’s bring your daughter to work day and I could see on

daughter to work day and I could see on

daughter to work day and I could see on his reaction that he didn’t do it on

his reaction that he didn’t do it on

his reaction that he didn’t do it on purpose and he didn’t mean bad and it

purpose and he didn’t mean bad and it

purpose and he didn’t mean bad and it will not happen to him again so by

will not happen to him again so by

will not happen to him again so by changing our own situation we can also

changing our own situation we can also

changing our own situation we can also help changing the situation of other

help changing the situation of other

help changing the situation of other women that will later at the point later

women that will later at the point later

women that will later at the point later in time work with these people and I

in time work with these people and I

in time work with these people and I know it takes a lot of courage and it’s

know it takes a lot of courage and it’s

know it takes a lot of courage and it’s sometimes hard to change that and to

sometimes hard to change that and to

sometimes hard to change that and to stand up for yourself but I can tell you

stand up for yourself but I can tell you

stand up for yourself but I can tell you from my own experience it feels good

from my own experience it feels good

from my own experience it feels good thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

”

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