[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
the Alzheimer’s Association tells us
the Alzheimer’s Association tells us that every 66 seconds someone in the
that every 66 seconds someone in the
that every 66 seconds someone in the u.s. develops Alzheimer’s for me that
u.s. develops Alzheimer’s for me that
u.s. develops Alzheimer’s for me that was a meaningless statistic Alzheimer’s
was a meaningless statistic Alzheimer’s
was a meaningless statistic Alzheimer’s wouldn’t happen in my family it couldn’t
wouldn’t happen in my family it couldn’t
wouldn’t happen in my family it couldn’t until it did and my dad developed
until it did and my dad developed
until it did and my dad developed Alzheimer’s then managing his life
Alzheimer’s then managing his life
Alzheimer’s then managing his life became the focal point of mine and my
became the focal point of mine and my
became the focal point of mine and my story is not unique
story is not unique
story is not unique there more than five million Americans
there more than five million Americans
there more than five million Americans living with Alzheimer’s this is my story
living with Alzheimer’s this is my story
living with Alzheimer’s this is my story of adversity transformation and
of adversity transformation and
of adversity transformation and unexpected lessons learned along the way
unexpected lessons learned along the way
unexpected lessons learned along the way as the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar
as the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar
as the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar says difficult roads often lead to
says difficult roads often lead to
says difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations navigating any
beautiful destinations navigating any
beautiful destinations navigating any disease is overwhelming and exhausting
disease is overwhelming and exhausting
disease is overwhelming and exhausting little did I know along my difficult
little did I know along my difficult
little did I know along my difficult Road there was a stunning surprise
Road there was a stunning surprise
Road there was a stunning surprise waiting to be revealed
waiting to be revealed
waiting to be revealed you see fate had given me a distant
you see fate had given me a distant
you see fate had given me a distant demanding father but through Alzheimer’s
demanding father but through Alzheimer’s
demanding father but through Alzheimer’s he became a sweet gentle man capable of
he became a sweet gentle man capable of
he became a sweet gentle man capable of love and genuine affection but the man I
love and genuine affection but the man I
love and genuine affection but the man I knew growing up he was strict and he was
knew growing up he was strict and he was
knew growing up he was strict and he was demanding two weeks before his 18th
demanding two weeks before his 18th
demanding two weeks before his 18th birthday he left home forged his
birthday he left home forged his
birthday he left home forged his mother’s signature and joined the Navy
perhaps it was all those years spent in
perhaps it was all those years spent in military life that’s so engraved in him
military life that’s so engraved in him
military life that’s so engraved in him the need for discipline order and
the need for discipline order and
the need for discipline order and protocol I remember coming home with my
protocol I remember coming home with my
protocol I remember coming home with my grade school report card on a scale of
grade school report card on a scale of
grade school report card on a scale of 4.0 I’d achieved a 3.5 I was so proud I
4.0 I’d achieved a 3.5 I was so proud I
4.0 I’d achieved a 3.5 I was so proud I produced my report card he takes one
produced my report card he takes one
produced my report card he takes one look at the grades and said where are
look at the grades and said where are
look at the grades and said where are the other points hey Dad
the other points hey Dad
the other points hey Dad then as an adult he thought being
then as an adult he thought being
then as an adult he thought being involved in my life meant asking
involved in my life meant asking
involved in my life meant asking questions like how much have you saved
questions like how much have you saved
questions like how much have you saved for retirement or when was the last time
for retirement or when was the last time
for retirement or when was the last time you had an oil change that’s who he was
you had an oil change that’s who he was
you had an oil change that’s who he was before Alzheimer’s then in 2005 when the
before Alzheimer’s then in 2005 when the
before Alzheimer’s then in 2005 when the symptoms of the disease first started to
symptoms of the disease first started to
symptoms of the disease first started to show we knew something had to be done so
show we knew something had to be done so
show we knew something had to be done so I assumed responsibility for his care
I assumed responsibility for his care
I assumed responsibility for his care and well-being because we didn’t have a
and well-being because we didn’t have a
and well-being because we didn’t have a close relationship I assumed
close relationship I assumed
close relationship I assumed responsibility for him more out of a
responsibility for him more out of a
responsibility for him more out of a sense of duty than love and affection
sense of duty than love and affection
sense of duty than love and affection but that would all change these are the
but that would all change these are the
but that would all change these are the five unexpected lessons I learned on my
five unexpected lessons I learned on my
five unexpected lessons I learned on my road to a beautiful destination impact
road to a beautiful destination impact
road to a beautiful destination impact the lives of others currently dad lives
the lives of others currently dad lives
the lives of others currently dad lives in an Alzheimer’s Alzheimer’s facility
in an Alzheimer’s Alzheimer’s facility
in an Alzheimer’s Alzheimer’s facility that houses mid to late stage
that houses mid to late stage
that houses mid to late stage Alzheimer’s patients a lot of them are
Alzheimer’s patients a lot of them are
Alzheimer’s patients a lot of them are suffering from sundowning syndrome
suffering from sundowning syndrome
suffering from sundowning syndrome sundowning syndrome is a neurological
sundowning syndrome is a neurological
sundowning syndrome is a neurological phenomenon that affects Alzheimer’s
phenomenon that affects Alzheimer’s
phenomenon that affects Alzheimer’s patients in the late afternoon when the
patients in the late afternoon when the
patients in the late afternoon when the son says it causes them to become
son says it causes them to become
son says it causes them to become agitated distraught confused one
agitated distraught confused one
agitated distraught confused one particular resident had a severe case of
particular resident had a severe case of
particular resident had a severe case of sundowning every afternoon you would
sundowning every afternoon you would
sundowning every afternoon you would find her ringing a cloth napkin weeping
find her ringing a cloth napkin weeping
find her ringing a cloth napkin weeping and wailing distraught agitated I
and wailing distraught agitated I
and wailing distraught agitated I watched as my dad
watched as my dad
watched as my dad gently approached her he placed his hand
gently approached her he placed his hand
gently approached her he placed his hand on her back bent his head down to her
on her back bent his head down to her
on her back bent his head down to her and said it’s okay you’re okay
and said it’s okay you’re okay
and said it’s okay you’re okay come on it’s okay I watched for a bit as
come on it’s okay I watched for a bit as
come on it’s okay I watched for a bit as he consoled her eventually they came and
he consoled her eventually they came and
he consoled her eventually they came and sat down he continuing to console her
sat down he continuing to console her
sat down he continuing to console her until she calmed down then they got up
until she calmed down then they got up
until she calmed down then they got up and went off to dinner watching this new
and went off to dinner watching this new
and went off to dinner watching this new level of kindness and compassion and my
level of kindness and compassion and my
level of kindness and compassion and my dad was extraordinary who was this guy
dad was extraordinary who was this guy
dad was extraordinary who was this guy and where was my dad who is this guy
and where was my dad who is this guy
and where was my dad who is this guy where was my dad rather but it actually
where was my dad rather but it actually
where was my dad rather but it actually made me think here is a man who can’t
made me think here is a man who can’t
made me think here is a man who can’t brush his teeth or dress himself and
brush his teeth or dress himself and
brush his teeth or dress himself and yeah he was acutely
yeah he was acutely
yeah he was acutely aware of someone else’s pain and he
aware of someone else’s pain and he
aware of someone else’s pain and he reached out with kindness I don’t have
reached out with kindness I don’t have
reached out with kindness I don’t have Alzheimer’s
Alzheimer’s
Alzheimer’s am i as aware of someone else’s pain and
am i as aware of someone else’s pain and
am i as aware of someone else’s pain and even if I am what I reach out with the
even if I am what I reach out with the
even if I am what I reach out with the same level of kindness and compassion
same level of kindness and compassion
same level of kindness and compassion maybe it was time for me to step up my
maybe it was time for me to step up my
maybe it was time for me to step up my game he taught me that you don’t have to
game he taught me that you don’t have to
game he taught me that you don’t have to be wealthy intelligent or successful to
be wealthy intelligent or successful to
be wealthy intelligent or successful to significantly impact the lives of others
significantly impact the lives of others
significantly impact the lives of others grace and gratitude this is one of my
grace and gratitude this is one of my
grace and gratitude this is one of my favorites today he’s not the austere man
favorites today he’s not the austere man
favorites today he’s not the austere man I knew as a child he’s funny
I knew as a child he’s funny
I knew as a child he’s funny sweet and even charming one evening I
sweet and even charming one evening I
sweet and even charming one evening I was getting him ready for bed I gave him
was getting him ready for bed I gave him
was getting him ready for bed I gave him a sponge bath changed his diaper brushed
a sponge bath changed his diaper brushed
a sponge bath changed his diaper brushed his teeth and put him in his pajamas as
his teeth and put him in his pajamas as
his teeth and put him in his pajamas as we were finishing he took my hands he
we were finishing he took my hands he
we were finishing he took my hands he turned them palms up kissed both hands
turned them palms up kissed both hands
turned them palms up kissed both hands and then gently laid them against his
and then gently laid them against his
and then gently laid them against his cheeks the feeling of gratitude was
cheeks the feeling of gratitude was
cheeks the feeling of gratitude was profound and without saying a word his
profound and without saying a word his
profound and without saying a word his message was crystal clear but what
message was crystal clear but what
message was crystal clear but what struck me the most was the fact that he
struck me the most was the fact that he
struck me the most was the fact that he was so comfortable allowing me to help
was so comfortable allowing me to help
was so comfortable allowing me to help him with such personal intimate tasks
him with such personal intimate tasks
him with such personal intimate tasks again I had to question myself if I were
again I had to question myself if I were
again I had to question myself if I were in the same situation would I allow
in the same situation would I allow
in the same situation would I allow someone to help me with those tasks I
someone to help me with those tasks I
someone to help me with those tasks I don’t know and even if I did allow
don’t know and even if I did allow
don’t know and even if I did allow someone to help me with those personal
someone to help me with those personal
someone to help me with those personal tasks would I be as vulnerable and then
tasks would I be as vulnerable and then
tasks would I be as vulnerable and then show such a level of gratitude I don’t
show such a level of gratitude I don’t
show such a level of gratitude I don’t know he taught me that even in the most
know he taught me that even in the most
know he taught me that even in the most vulnerable moments it’s possible to
vulnerable moments it’s possible to
vulnerable moments it’s possible to graciously accept help and then
graciously accept help and then
graciously accept help and then genuinely express gratitude cultivate
genuinely express gratitude cultivate
genuinely express gratitude cultivate and sustain joy being with him now is
and sustain joy being with him now is
and sustain joy being with him now is like being with a small child simple
like being with a small child simple
like being with a small child simple things are important to him like
things are important to him like
things are important to him like afternoon naps snacks and simple things
afternoon naps snacks and simple things
afternoon naps snacks and simple things delight him he’s absolutely fascinated
delight him he’s absolutely fascinated
delight him he’s absolutely fascinated with the circular flow created when
with the circular flow created when
with the circular flow created when flushing the toy
flushing the toy
flushing the toy and he loves to see things disappear
and he loves to see things disappear
and he loves to see things disappear down the toilet
down the toilet
down the toilet small combs bars of soap toothbrushes
small combs bars of soap toothbrushes
small combs bars of soap toothbrushes you name it he loves to flush things and
you name it he loves to flush things and
you name it he loves to flush things and one day he found a particularly fabulous
one day he found a particularly fabulous
one day he found a particularly fabulous item to flush his dentures so now he
item to flush his dentures so now he
item to flush his dentures so now he doesn’t have any teeth but he doesn’t
doesn’t have any teeth but he doesn’t
doesn’t have any teeth but he doesn’t care he still smiles and sings as a
care he still smiles and sings as a
care he still smiles and sings as a young man he was a lead singer for the
young man he was a lead singer for the
young man he was a lead singer for the barbershop quartet currently his
barbershop quartet currently his
barbershop quartet currently his vocabulary is only limited to a very few
vocabulary is only limited to a very few
vocabulary is only limited to a very few short phrases but somewhere in the back
short phrases but somewhere in the back
short phrases but somewhere in the back of his mind he still remembers the words
of his mind he still remembers the words
of his mind he still remembers the words to all those old songs and he sings them
to all those old songs and he sings them
to all those old songs and he sings them frequently usually in the most unlikely
frequently usually in the most unlikely
frequently usually in the most unlikely places
places
places one afternoon I had taken him to his
one afternoon I had taken him to his
one afternoon I had taken him to his cardiologist appointment and the the
cardiologist appointment and the the
cardiologist appointment and the the waiting room was packed with patients
waiting room was packed with patients
waiting room was packed with patients they were either filling out forms or
they were either filling out forms or
they were either filling out forms or reading quietly when my dad decides he
reading quietly when my dad decides he
reading quietly when my dad decides he needs to sing he belts out one of his
needs to sing he belts out one of his
needs to sing he belts out one of his favorite songs I love you
favorite songs I love you
favorite songs I love you oh man what 94 he still has a strong
oh man what 94 he still has a strong
oh man what 94 he still has a strong clear voice whoo and he can project
clear voice whoo and he can project
clear voice whoo and he can project startled I looked around at the other
startled I looked around at the other
startled I looked around at the other patients wondering if they were upset by
patients wondering if they were upset by
patients wondering if they were upset by his singing most of them were smiling
his singing most of them were smiling
his singing most of them were smiling and nodding and one woman sitting across
and nodding and one woman sitting across
and nodding and one woman sitting across from me said he’s a happy guy
from me said he’s a happy guy
from me said he’s a happy guy yeah he is a happy guy now he serenades
yeah he is a happy guy now he serenades
yeah he is a happy guy now he serenades his caregivers one of his caregivers
his caregivers one of his caregivers
his caregivers one of his caregivers recently told me that when situations
recently told me that when situations
recently told me that when situations get tense at the facility he’ll stand up
get tense at the facility he’ll stand up
get tense at the facility he’ll stand up and he’ll sing until the tension breaks
and he’ll sing until the tension breaks
and he’ll sing until the tension breaks and then everyone goes on about their
and then everyone goes on about their
and then everyone goes on about their business here’s a man who can’t
business here’s a man who can’t
business here’s a man who can’t contribute much but what he does
contribute much but what he does
contribute much but what he does contribute he does it with all his heart
here he is at his facility celebrating a
here he is at his facility celebrating a Hawaiian luau I promise you before
Hawaiian luau I promise you before
Hawaiian luau I promise you before Alzheimer’s you never would have seen
Alzheimer’s you never would have seen
Alzheimer’s you never would have seen him dressed like that
he taught me that it’s never too late
he taught me that it’s never too late it’s never too late to cultivate and
it’s never too late to cultivate and
it’s never too late to cultivate and sustain joy and the next lesson is
sustain joy and the next lesson is
sustain joy and the next lesson is evaluate your measure of success this
evaluate your measure of success this
evaluate your measure of success this road for us has held a wealth of lessons
road for us has held a wealth of lessons
road for us has held a wealth of lessons including an opportunity for me to
including an opportunity for me to
including an opportunity for me to reevaluate how I measure success as a
reevaluate how I measure success as a
reevaluate how I measure success as a young woman working in the corporate
young woman working in the corporate
young woman working in the corporate world I measured success by the amount
world I measured success by the amount
world I measured success by the amount of money I made the car I drove and the
of money I made the car I drove and the
of money I made the car I drove and the company I work for now holding that
company I work for now holding that
company I work for now holding that measurement of success against the span
measurement of success against the span
measurement of success against the span of a lifetime is ludicrous dad doesn’t
of a lifetime is ludicrous dad doesn’t
of a lifetime is ludicrous dad doesn’t remember what he did for a living he
remember what he did for a living he
remember what he did for a living he doesn’t remember the hobbies he used to
doesn’t remember the hobbies he used to
doesn’t remember the hobbies he used to love or his wife of 50 years what is
love or his wife of 50 years what is
love or his wife of 50 years what is important is how much life how much joy
important is how much life how much joy
important is how much life how much joy can he experience in any one given
can he experience in any one given
can he experience in any one given moment because his moments they don’t
moment because his moments they don’t
moment because his moments they don’t connect and all he has is this one
connect and all he has is this one
connect and all he has is this one moment so now I’ve reconfigured my
moment so now I’ve reconfigured my
moment so now I’ve reconfigured my measurement of success I measure success
measurement of success I measure success
measurement of success I measure success with the emotional footprint I create
with the emotional footprint I create
with the emotional footprint I create with the days and the events of my life
with the days and the events of my life
with the days and the events of my life and along this road he and I we’ve had
and along this road he and I we’ve had
and along this road he and I we’ve had some really difficult times some
some really difficult times some
some really difficult times some setbacks and some really dark days and
setbacks and some really dark days and
setbacks and some really dark days and it was during one of those dark days
it was during one of those dark days
it was during one of those dark days that I realized I have a choice I could
that I realized I have a choice I could
that I realized I have a choice I could either become despondent and depressed
either become despondent and depressed
either become despondent and depressed or I could step up and adapt and use
or I could step up and adapt and use
or I could step up and adapt and use these experiences as a learning
these experiences as a learning
these experiences as a learning opportunity dad had completely lost the
opportunity dad had completely lost the
opportunity dad had completely lost the ability to consciously choose anything
ability to consciously choose anything
ability to consciously choose anything or consciously change anything so it was
or consciously change anything so it was
or consciously change anything so it was up to me to partner with his caregiving
up to me to partner with his caregiving
up to me to partner with his caregiving team and create the solutions that
team and create the solutions that
team and create the solutions that worked for him this is one of my
worked for him this is one of my
worked for him this is one of my favorite photos it was taken at his 90th
favorite photos it was taken at his 90th
favorite photos it was taken at his 90th birthday party he taught me that the
birthday party he taught me that the
birthday party he taught me that the true measurement of success is not
true measurement of success is not
true measurement of success is not wealth it’s not material wealth it’s the
wealth it’s not material wealth it’s the
wealth it’s not material wealth it’s the relationships we create and the love we
relationships we create and the love we
relationships we create and the love we share
and the next lesson is embrace new
and the next lesson is embrace new opportunities before Alzheimer’s dad was
opportunities before Alzheimer’s dad was
opportunities before Alzheimer’s dad was a chronic warrior always concerned about
a chronic warrior always concerned about
a chronic warrior always concerned about how people would perceive him so when
how people would perceive him so when
how people would perceive him so when the first symptoms of Alzheimer’s showed
the first symptoms of Alzheimer’s showed
the first symptoms of Alzheimer’s showed up it showed up in his speaking he would
up it showed up in his speaking he would
up it showed up in his speaking he would use the wrong words and jumble his
use the wrong words and jumble his
use the wrong words and jumble his sentences so that his his communication
sentences so that his his communication
sentences so that his his communication literally was unintelligible the
literally was unintelligible the
literally was unintelligible the facility where he lives offered fabulous
facility where he lives offered fabulous
facility where he lives offered fabulous social outings and afternoon at the
social outings and afternoon at the
social outings and afternoon at the movies the theater museums the aquarium
movies the theater museums the aquarium
movies the theater museums the aquarium he wouldn’t go he never attended
he wouldn’t go he never attended
he wouldn’t go he never attended anything he was embarrassed about his
anything he was embarrassed about his
anything he was embarrassed about his speaking then as time went on and he
speaking then as time went on and he
speaking then as time went on and he worked his way through the different
worked his way through the different
worked his way through the different layers of the disease he changed
layers of the disease he changed
layers of the disease he changed significantly he still couldn’t speak
significantly he still couldn’t speak
significantly he still couldn’t speak any better but he lost the ability to
any better but he lost the ability to
any better but he lost the ability to care he lost the ability to be
care he lost the ability to be
care he lost the ability to be embarrassed so now in his Monday
embarrassed so now in his Monday
embarrassed so now in his Monday afternoon and it’s time for the movies
afternoon and it’s time for the movies
afternoon and it’s time for the movies he bolts out that front door he wants to
he bolts out that front door he wants to
he bolts out that front door he wants to be the first one on the bus it doesn’t
be the first one on the bus it doesn’t
be the first one on the bus it doesn’t matter to him that he may not understand
matter to him that he may not understand
matter to him that he may not understand the dialogue of the plot of the movie
the dialogue of the plot of the movie
the dialogue of the plot of the movie it’s an adventure and he’s all in in
it’s an adventure and he’s all in in
it’s an adventure and he’s all in in fact he’s enthusiastically all in when
fact he’s enthusiastically all in when
fact he’s enthusiastically all in when his facility offered art classes he
his facility offered art classes he
his facility offered art classes he attended everyone when they offered oil
attended everyone when they offered oil
attended everyone when they offered oil painting he went to those classes too
painting he went to those classes too
painting he went to those classes too this is his first oil painting done at
this is his first oil painting done at
this is his first oil painting done at 93 this was part of a silent auction
93 this was part of a silent auction
93 this was part of a silent auction held by his facility and all of the
held by his facility and all of the
held by his facility and all of the proceeds went to the Alzheimer’s
proceeds went to the Alzheimer’s
proceeds went to the Alzheimer’s Association all those years ago when I
Association all those years ago when I
Association all those years ago when I took responsibility for dad I did it out
took responsibility for dad I did it out
took responsibility for dad I did it out of a sense of duty
of a sense of duty
of a sense of duty now that sense of duty has been
now that sense of duty has been
now that sense of duty has been completely replaced with a sense of love
completely replaced with a sense of love
completely replaced with a sense of love and affection and awe at his ultimate
and affection and awe at his ultimate
and affection and awe at his ultimate transformation the great unexpected gift
transformation the great unexpected gift
transformation the great unexpected gift of Alzheimer’s was giving me the father
of Alzheimer’s was giving me the father
of Alzheimer’s was giving me the father I always wanted
we all have obstacles we all face
we all have obstacles we all face challenges so whatever challenge you’re
challenges so whatever challenge you’re
challenges so whatever challenge you’re facing whatever difficult road you’re
facing whatever difficult road you’re
facing whatever difficult road you’re traveling
traveling
traveling I hope my story helps you find your way
I hope my story helps you find your way
I hope my story helps you find your way to a beautiful destination as the author
to a beautiful destination as the author
to a beautiful destination as the author Vivian Greene says life is not about
Vivian Greene says life is not about
Vivian Greene says life is not about waiting for the storm to pass it’s about
waiting for the storm to pass it’s about
waiting for the storm to pass it’s about learning to dance in the rain thank you
learning to dance in the rain thank you
learning to dance in the rain thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
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