[Music] I’ve spent most of my life trying really
I’ve spent most of my life trying really
I’ve spent most of my life trying really hard to succeed when I was in high
hard to succeed when I was in high
hard to succeed when I was in high school I pushed myself to win every
school I pushed myself to win every
school I pushed myself to win every academic award that I could when I got
academic award that I could when I got
academic award that I could when I got to university I pushed myself to get
to university I pushed myself to get
to university I pushed myself to get straight A’s in all my classes I ended
straight A’s in all my classes I ended
straight A’s in all my classes I ended up spending ten years in University and
up spending ten years in University and
up spending ten years in University and got my PhD in psychology from there I
got my PhD in psychology from there I
got my PhD in psychology from there I pushed myself to succeed in the
pushed myself to succeed in the
pushed myself to succeed in the corporate world and then I pushed myself
corporate world and then I pushed myself
corporate world and then I pushed myself to be successful as an entrepreneur I
to be successful as an entrepreneur I
to be successful as an entrepreneur I eventually ended up getting a job at
eventually ended up getting a job at
eventually ended up getting a job at Harvard Medical School which is one of
Harvard Medical School which is one of
Harvard Medical School which is one of the top academic institutions in the
the top academic institutions in the
the top academic institutions in the world and by this point I had won a lot
world and by this point I had won a lot
world and by this point I had won a lot of scholarships and awards I was
of scholarships and awards I was
of scholarships and awards I was reasonably successful and there were
reasonably successful and there were
reasonably successful and there were many people who were quite proud of me
many people who were quite proud of me
many people who were quite proud of me but I still wasn’t happy so for example
but I still wasn’t happy so for example
but I still wasn’t happy so for example when I was in my 20s on the outside I
when I was in my 20s on the outside I
when I was in my 20s on the outside I looked like a thriving young woman who
looked like a thriving young woman who
looked like a thriving young woman who was doing well academically and who had
was doing well academically and who had
was doing well academically and who had an active social life but inside I was
an active social life but inside I was
an active social life but inside I was struggling with crippling self-doubt and
struggling with crippling self-doubt and
struggling with crippling self-doubt and perfectionism I ended up spending six
perfectionism I ended up spending six
perfectionism I ended up spending six years on antidepressants and many hours
years on antidepressants and many hours
years on antidepressants and many hours in therapy now I eventually managed to
in therapy now I eventually managed to
in therapy now I eventually managed to get off the antidepressants and I got
get off the antidepressants and I got
get off the antidepressants and I got into things like yoga and meditation and
into things like yoga and meditation and
into things like yoga and meditation and personal development and I started to
personal development and I started to
personal development and I started to make my health and my well-being my
make my health and my well-being my
make my health and my well-being my number one priority but still there was
number one priority but still there was
number one priority but still there was something inside of me that kept pushing
something inside of me that kept pushing
something inside of me that kept pushing me to strive and to achieve and to
me to strive and to achieve and to
me to strive and to achieve and to succeed and I eventually realized that I
succeed and I eventually realized that I
succeed and I eventually realized that I had become an achievement addict so I
had become an achievement addict so I
had become an achievement addict so I had become addicted to the attention and
had become addicted to the attention and
had become addicted to the attention and the approval that often come along with
the approval that often come along with
the approval that often come along with being successful and so what I would do
being successful and so what I would do
being successful and so what I would do is I would get into this pattern where I
is I would get into this pattern where I
is I would get into this pattern where I would overwork toward some goal I would
would overwork toward some goal I would
would overwork toward some goal I would burn out then I would maybe take a
burn out then I would maybe take a
burn out then I would maybe take a little bit of time to recuperate and
little bit of time to recuperate and
little bit of time to recuperate and then I would start over working again
then I would start over working again
then I would start over working again and I would go through this pattern over
and I would go through this pattern over
and I would go through this pattern over and over and over so this cycle might
and over and over so this cycle might
and over and over so this cycle might sound familiar to some of you you know
sound familiar to some of you you know
sound familiar to some of you you know these days when you ask someone how are
these days when you ask someone how are
these days when you ask someone how are you the most common response tends to be
you the most common response tends to be
you the most common response tends to be busy so we wear our busyness like a
busy so we wear our busyness like a
busy so we wear our busyness like a badge of honor as if we don’t feel like
badge of honor as if we don’t feel like
badge of honor as if we don’t feel like we’re worthwhile human beings unless
we’re worthwhile human beings unless
we’re worthwhile human beings unless we’re incredibly busy doing
we’re incredibly busy doing
we’re incredibly busy doing something but all this busyness is
something but all this busyness is
something but all this busyness is coming at a cost and the cost is our
coming at a cost and the cost is our
coming at a cost and the cost is our health and our well-being so a question
health and our well-being so a question
health and our well-being so a question that I’ve been working with in my own
that I’ve been working with in my own
that I’ve been working with in my own life both personally and professionally
life both personally and professionally
life both personally and professionally over the last few years is what if there
over the last few years is what if there
over the last few years is what if there was another way so what if we could
was another way so what if we could
was another way so what if we could continue to be productive members of
continue to be productive members of
continue to be productive members of society without destroying our health
society without destroying our health
society without destroying our health and our well-being in the process and
and our well-being in the process and
and our well-being in the process and might it even be possible to achieve
might it even be possible to achieve
might it even be possible to achieve more by doing less now I want to make it
more by doing less now I want to make it
more by doing less now I want to make it clear from the very beginning that I’m
clear from the very beginning that I’m
clear from the very beginning that I’m not advocating that we not try life
not advocating that we not try life
not advocating that we not try life involves effort and I get that if we
involves effort and I get that if we
involves effort and I get that if we didn’t exert any effort in our lives we
didn’t exert any effort in our lives we
didn’t exert any effort in our lives we probably wouldn’t brush our teeth or
probably wouldn’t brush our teeth or
probably wouldn’t brush our teeth or feed ourselves or even leave the house
feed ourselves or even leave the house
feed ourselves or even leave the house so obviously we need to engage in some
so obviously we need to engage in some
so obviously we need to engage in some effort but the trick seems to be
effort but the trick seems to be
effort but the trick seems to be learning how to balance effort with ease
learning how to balance effort with ease
learning how to balance effort with ease and there are two different types of
and there are two different types of
and there are two different types of effort that I believe we can engage in
effort that I believe we can engage in
effort that I believe we can engage in in our lives the first type is something
in our lives the first type is something
in our lives the first type is something that I like to call upstream effort so
that I like to call upstream effort so
that I like to call upstream effort so when we’re engaged in upstream effort it
when we’re engaged in upstream effort it
when we’re engaged in upstream effort it feels like we’re paddling a boat
feels like we’re paddling a boat
feels like we’re paddling a boat upstream against the current of the
upstream against the current of the
upstream against the current of the water so it feels like you’re trying
water so it feels like you’re trying
water so it feels like you’re trying really hard you’re pushing you’re
really hard you’re pushing you’re
really hard you’re pushing you’re striving you’re maybe burning out your
striving you’re maybe burning out your
striving you’re maybe burning out your health and well-being or maybe suffering
health and well-being or maybe suffering
health and well-being or maybe suffering and even though you’re engaged in all
and even though you’re engaged in all
and even though you’re engaged in all this effort it doesn’t really feel like
this effort it doesn’t really feel like
this effort it doesn’t really feel like you’re getting anywhere now upstream
you’re getting anywhere now upstream
you’re getting anywhere now upstream effort is the type of effort that I
effort is the type of effort that I
effort is the type of effort that I believe most of us are engaged in on a
believe most of us are engaged in on a
believe most of us are engaged in on a regular basis and in fact society even
regular basis and in fact society even
regular basis and in fact society even encourages and rewards upstream effort
encourages and rewards upstream effort
encourages and rewards upstream effort so from a young age many of us are
so from a young age many of us are
so from a young age many of us are taught to believe statements like
taught to believe statements like
taught to believe statements like nothing in life comes easy and if it was
nothing in life comes easy and if it was
nothing in life comes easy and if it was easy everyone would do it and you have
easy everyone would do it and you have
easy everyone would do it and you have to fight really hard to make it in the
to fight really hard to make it in the
to fight really hard to make it in the world so most of us are familiar with
world so most of us are familiar with
world so most of us are familiar with this this type of effort but there’s
this this type of effort but there’s
this this type of effort but there’s another type of effort we can engage in
another type of effort we can engage in
another type of effort we can engage in and I call this one downstream effort so
and I call this one downstream effort so
and I call this one downstream effort so when we’re engaged in downstream effort
when we’re engaged in downstream effort
when we’re engaged in downstream effort we’re still engaged in effort we’re
we’re still engaged in effort we’re
we’re still engaged in effort we’re still trying we’re rowing a boat but
still trying we’re rowing a boat but
still trying we’re rowing a boat but we’re paddling that boat downstream with
we’re paddling that boat downstream with
we’re paddling that boat downstream with the current of the water or with the
the current of the water or with the
the current of the water or with the flow of life if you will so we have a
flow of life if you will so we have a
flow of life if you will so we have a goal but we have a loose grip
goal but we have a loose grip
goal but we have a loose grip or loose attachment to that goal and
or loose attachment to that goal and
or loose attachment to that goal and we’re more focused on the process or the
we’re more focused on the process or the
we’re more focused on the process or the journey of getting towards that goal now
journey of getting towards that goal now
journey of getting towards that goal now in the same way that there are different
in the same way that there are different
in the same way that there are different types of effort there are also different
types of effort there are also different
types of effort there are also different types of success so many of us are
types of success so many of us are
types of success so many of us are taught to believe that success means
taught to believe that success means
taught to believe that success means having a lot of money or a nice car or a
having a lot of money or a nice car or a
having a lot of money or a nice car or a big house and there’s not necessarily
big house and there’s not necessarily
big house and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with these things it’s
anything wrong with these things it’s
anything wrong with these things it’s just that we each need to define what
just that we each need to define what
just that we each need to define what authentic success means for us so for
authentic success means for us so for
authentic success means for us so for you authentic success might mean having
you authentic success might mean having
you authentic success might mean having a lot of money or it might mean
a lot of money or it might mean
a lot of money or it might mean improving your social relationships or
improving your social relationships or
improving your social relationships or it might mean improving your health so
it might mean improving your health so
it might mean improving your health so we each need to define what authentic
we each need to define what authentic
we each need to define what authentic success means for us because this helps
success means for us because this helps
success means for us because this helps us make decisions in our lives that
us make decisions in our lives that
us make decisions in our lives that guide us in the direction of downstream
guide us in the direction of downstream
guide us in the direction of downstream effort and so the question then becomes
effort and so the question then becomes
effort and so the question then becomes you know how do we enhance downstream
you know how do we enhance downstream
you know how do we enhance downstream effort in order to reach authentic goals
effort in order to reach authentic goals
effort in order to reach authentic goals because when I talk about the idea of
because when I talk about the idea of
because when I talk about the idea of achieving more by doing less what I’m
achieving more by doing less what I’m
achieving more by doing less what I’m really referring to here is enhancing
really referring to here is enhancing
really referring to here is enhancing downstream effort in our lives in order
downstream effort in our lives in order
downstream effort in our lives in order to reach authentic goals but how do we
to reach authentic goals but how do we
to reach authentic goals but how do we do this there are a few different things
do this there are a few different things
do this there are a few different things that we can do and the first thing is
that we can do and the first thing is
that we can do and the first thing is that we need to engage in some inner
that we need to engage in some inner
that we need to engage in some inner work in order to begin to cultivate
work in order to begin to cultivate
work in order to begin to cultivate downstream effort in our lives so one
downstream effort in our lives so one
downstream effort in our lives so one type of inner work that we can do is we
type of inner work that we can do is we
type of inner work that we can do is we can begin to identify what we value in
can begin to identify what we value in
can begin to identify what we value in life now values are abstract goals or
life now values are abstract goals or
life now values are abstract goals or ideals they can be difficult to define
ideals they can be difficult to define
ideals they can be difficult to define but there are things like freedom
but there are things like freedom
but there are things like freedom authenticity joy happiness stability and
authenticity joy happiness stability and
authenticity joy happiness stability and we need to identify what we value
we need to identify what we value
we need to identify what we value because these values then serve as a
because these values then serve as a
because these values then serve as a North Star or a compass to help guide us
North Star or a compass to help guide us
North Star or a compass to help guide us in the direction of downstream effort in
in the direction of downstream effort in
in the direction of downstream effort in our lives
our lives
our lives another type of inner work that we can
another type of inner work that we can
another type of inner work that we can do is we need to identify how we want to
do is we need to identify how we want to
do is we need to identify how we want to feel every day now Doug Newberg is a
feel every day now Doug Newberg is a
feel every day now Doug Newberg is a researcher and performance coach from
researcher and performance coach from
researcher and performance coach from the University of Virginia and he
the University of Virginia and he
the University of Virginia and he develop developed a theory that he calls
develop developed a theory that he calls
develop developed a theory that he calls the resonance performance model and he
the resonance performance model and he
the resonance performance model and he developed this theory based on
developed this theory based on
developed this theory based on interviews that he conduct conducted
interviews that he conduct conducted
interviews that he conduct conducted with hundreds of top performers from a
with hundreds of top performers from a
with hundreds of top performers from a variety of different areas of life so
variety of different areas of life so
variety of different areas of life so for example medicine
for example medicine
for example medicine Sport business and music and what he
Sport business and music and what he
Sport business and music and what he found is that these top performers had
found is that these top performers had
found is that these top performers had very specific ideas about how they
very specific ideas about how they
very specific ideas about how they wanted to feel every day so yes they had
wanted to feel every day so yes they had
wanted to feel every day so yes they had a goal they might have wanted to win a
a goal they might have wanted to win a
a goal they might have wanted to win a gold medal or a Grammy but they were
gold medal or a Grammy but they were
gold medal or a Grammy but they were more focused on the process of getting
more focused on the process of getting
more focused on the process of getting towards that goal than the actual goal
towards that goal than the actual goal
towards that goal than the actual goal itself
itself
itself another thing that Newburg found is that
another thing that Newburg found is that
another thing that Newburg found is that these top performers this is very
these top performers this is very
these top performers this is very important when they bumped up against
important when they bumped up against
important when they bumped up against obstacles towards their goals they
obstacles towards their goals they
obstacles towards their goals they didn’t try harder so they didn’t exert
didn’t try harder so they didn’t exert
didn’t try harder so they didn’t exert more effort instead they took some time
more effort instead they took some time
more effort instead they took some time off for personal reflection and reminded
off for personal reflection and reminded
off for personal reflection and reminded themselves of how they wanted to feel
themselves of how they wanted to feel
themselves of how they wanted to feel everyday Newburg referred to this as
everyday Newburg referred to this as
everyday Newburg referred to this as their dream so reminding themselves that
their dream so reminding themselves that
their dream so reminding themselves that their dream then motivated them to
their dream then motivated them to
their dream then motivated them to continue towards their goals so after
continue towards their goals so after
continue towards their goals so after we’ve done this inner work of
we’ve done this inner work of
we’ve done this inner work of identifying how we want to feel and what
identifying how we want to feel and what
identifying how we want to feel and what we value our job is then to bring this
we value our job is then to bring this
we value our job is then to bring this inner work out into the world so there’s
inner work out into the world so there’s
inner work out into the world so there’s research suggesting that authenticity
research suggesting that authenticity
research suggesting that authenticity has two components an internal component
has two components an internal component
has two components an internal component and an external component so internally
and an external component so internally
and an external component so internally we need to unapologetically own our
we need to unapologetically own our
we need to unapologetically own our values and our feelings and then
values and our feelings and then
values and our feelings and then externally we need to act on those
externally we need to act on those
externally we need to act on those values and feelings in the real world so
values and feelings in the real world so
values and feelings in the real world so in other words we need to start making
in other words we need to start making
in other words we need to start making authentic life decisions so you might
authentic life decisions so you might
authentic life decisions so you might choose a particular job or a
choose a particular job or a
choose a particular job or a relationship or life path based on
relationship or life path based on
relationship or life path based on what’s true and authentic for you and
what’s true and authentic for you and
what’s true and authentic for you and this might sound relatively
this might sound relatively
this might sound relatively straightforward you know you just make
straightforward you know you just make
straightforward you know you just make life decisions based on what’s important
life decisions based on what’s important
life decisions based on what’s important to you and then you’ve lived your life
to you and then you’ve lived your life
to you and then you’ve lived your life in that way but in actuality sometimes
in that way but in actuality sometimes
in that way but in actuality sometimes our authentic life choices can go
our authentic life choices can go
our authentic life choices can go against what society or our friends or
against what society or our friends or
against what society or our friends or our colleagues or our family think we
our colleagues or our family think we
our colleagues or our family think we should be doing so for example when I
should be doing so for example when I
should be doing so for example when I was working at Harvard Medical School
was working at Harvard Medical School
was working at Harvard Medical School after a while of working there I started
after a while of working there I started
after a while of working there I started to realize that that job was no longer
to realize that that job was no longer
to realize that that job was no longer honoring what I valued and I was no
honoring what I valued and I was no
honoring what I valued and I was no longer feeling how I wanted to feel
longer feeling how I wanted to feel
longer feeling how I wanted to feel every day and so I made the very
every day and so I made the very
every day and so I made the very difficult but authentic decision to quit
difficult but authentic decision to quit
difficult but authentic decision to quit my job at Harvard
my job at Harvard
my job at Harvard I ended up living in a cabin in the
I ended up living in a cabin in the
I ended up living in a cabin in the woods for two months and then I moved to
woods for two months and then I moved to
woods for two months and then I moved to Europe now this was not an easy decision
Europe now this was not an easy decision
Europe now this was not an easy decision to make there were people in my life who
to make there were people in my life who
to make there were people in my life who believed I was making a mistake
believed I was making a mistake
believed I was making a mistake professionally by quitting Harvard but
professionally by quitting Harvard but
professionally by quitting Harvard but it was a decision that was true and
it was a decision that was true and
it was a decision that was true and authentic for me
authentic for me
authentic for me so our authentic life choices they won’t
so our authentic life choices they won’t
so our authentic life choices they won’t always be easy but they’ll always be
always be easy but they’ll always be
always be easy but they’ll always be worth it because they help us live with
worth it because they help us live with
worth it because they help us live with integrity and so after we’ve made these
integrity and so after we’ve made these
integrity and so after we’ve made these authentic life decisions our job is then
authentic life decisions our job is then
authentic life decisions our job is then to use discernment to evaluate the
to use discernment to evaluate the
to use discernment to evaluate the results of our decisions so in other
results of our decisions so in other
results of our decisions so in other words we evaluate which path were on we
words we evaluate which path were on we
words we evaluate which path were on we can ask ourselves has this decision
can ask ourselves has this decision
can ask ourselves has this decision resulted in me moving upstream or am i
resulted in me moving upstream or am i
resulted in me moving upstream or am i moving downstream and there are a few
moving downstream and there are a few
moving downstream and there are a few hints that we can use in order to figure
hints that we can use in order to figure
hints that we can use in order to figure out whether we’re engaged in downstream
out whether we’re engaged in downstream
out whether we’re engaged in downstream effort and the first of these is that
effort and the first of these is that
effort and the first of these is that when we’re engaged in downstream effort
when we’re engaged in downstream effort
when we’re engaged in downstream effort I believe we’re more likely to
I believe we’re more likely to
I believe we’re more likely to experience something called
experience something called
experience something called psychological flow and when we’re
psychological flow and when we’re
psychological flow and when we’re experiencing psychological flow some of
experiencing psychological flow some of
experiencing psychological flow some of you might have experienced it before we
you might have experienced it before we
you might have experienced it before we sometimes experience it when we’re
sometimes experience it when we’re
sometimes experience it when we’re engaged in things like music or art when
engaged in things like music or art when
engaged in things like music or art when we’re engaged a psychological flow were
we’re engaged a psychological flow were
we’re engaged a psychological flow were so absorbed and engaged in what we’re
so absorbed and engaged in what we’re
so absorbed and engaged in what we’re doing that time seems to get distorted
doing that time seems to get distorted
doing that time seems to get distorted so time might feel like it speeds up or
so time might feel like it speeds up or
so time might feel like it speeds up or slows down you might not notice time
slows down you might not notice time
slows down you might not notice time going by it can be very difficult to
going by it can be very difficult to
going by it can be very difficult to distract you from what you’re doing the
distract you from what you’re doing the
distract you from what you’re doing the telephone could ring and you might not
telephone could ring and you might not
telephone could ring and you might not even notice it and you might even be so
even notice it and you might even be so
even notice it and you might even be so absorbed and engaged in what you’re
absorbed and engaged in what you’re
absorbed and engaged in what you’re doing that you become almost one with
doing that you become almost one with
doing that you become almost one with the activity so for example in the
the activity so for example in the
the activity so for example in the moments before an athlete scores an
moments before an athlete scores an
moments before an athlete scores an incredible goal they might feel like
incredible goal they might feel like
incredible goal they might feel like time slows down for them they might not
time slows down for them they might not
time slows down for them they might not hear the audience around them and they
hear the audience around them and they
hear the audience around them and they might feel like their body moves almost
might feel like their body moves almost
might feel like their body moves almost effortlessly in the service of scoring
effortlessly in the service of scoring
effortlessly in the service of scoring that goal and in my opinion
that goal and in my opinion
that goal and in my opinion psychological flow is actually the
psychological flow is actually the
psychological flow is actually the epitome of downstream effort because
epitome of downstream effort because
epitome of downstream effort because we’re trying but it doesn’t feel like
we’re trying but it doesn’t feel like
we’re trying but it doesn’t feel like we’re trying now another hint that you
we’re trying now another hint that you
we’re trying now another hint that you can use to find out if you’re engaged in
can use to find out if you’re engaged in
can use to find out if you’re engaged in downstream effort is that sometimes
downstream effort is that sometimes
downstream effort is that sometimes synchronicity might be more likely to
synchronicity might be more likely to
synchronicity might be more likely to pop up in your life so the perfect
pop up in your life so the perfect
pop up in your life so the perfect people places or opportunities might
people places or opportunities might
people places or opportunities might arise for you without
arise for you without
arise for you without feeling like you had to engage in that
feeling like you had to engage in that
feeling like you had to engage in that much effort in order to make those
much effort in order to make those
much effort in order to make those things happen so if you’re engaged in
things happen so if you’re engaged in
things happen so if you’re engaged in downstream effort the idea is to stay on
downstream effort the idea is to stay on
downstream effort the idea is to stay on that path because authentic success is
that path because authentic success is
that path because authentic success is likely to follow now notice I use the
likely to follow now notice I use the
likely to follow now notice I use the word authentic success here so your
word authentic success here so your
word authentic success here so your success might not look successful to the
success might not look successful to the
success might not look successful to the people around you but it will feel
people around you but it will feel
people around you but it will feel successful for you internally so for
successful for you internally so for
successful for you internally so for example someone who gets a divorce after
example someone who gets a divorce after
example someone who gets a divorce after spending years in an inauthentic
spending years in an inauthentic
spending years in an inauthentic marriage their life might not look very
marriage their life might not look very
marriage their life might not look very successful on the outside so they might
successful on the outside so they might
successful on the outside so they might lose their home they might lose some
lose their home they might lose some
lose their home they might lose some access to their children they might lose
access to their children they might lose
access to their children they might lose some income however their decision and
some income however their decision and
some income however their decision and their life will feel authentic for them
their life will feel authentic for them
their life will feel authentic for them now if on the other hand you engage in
now if on the other hand you engage in
now if on the other hand you engage in an authentic life decision and it feels
an authentic life decision and it feels
an authentic life decision and it feels like you’re engaged in upstream effort
like you’re engaged in upstream effort
like you’re engaged in upstream effort before you start trying harder there are
before you start trying harder there are
before you start trying harder there are two questions that you can ask yourself
two questions that you can ask yourself
two questions that you can ask yourself the first question is is this a time in
the first question is is this a time in
the first question is is this a time in my life when upstream effort is
my life when upstream effort is
my life when upstream effort is necessary so there are some times in our
necessary so there are some times in our
necessary so there are some times in our lives when we do just have to put in
lives when we do just have to put in
lives when we do just have to put in some extra hours put in some time and
some extra hours put in some time and
some extra hours put in some time and feel kind of like we’re trying very hard
feel kind of like we’re trying very hard
feel kind of like we’re trying very hard so for example if you’re trying to get
so for example if you’re trying to get
so for example if you’re trying to get your masters or your PhD
your masters or your PhD
your masters or your PhD sometimes that process can feel like a
sometimes that process can feel like a
sometimes that process can feel like a slog it can feel like a lot of effort
slog it can feel like a lot of effort
slog it can feel like a lot of effort but if that masters or PhD is an
but if that masters or PhD is an
but if that masters or PhD is an authentic life goal for you then you can
authentic life goal for you then you can
authentic life goal for you then you can remind yourself of your motivations for
remind yourself of your motivations for
remind yourself of your motivations for pursuing that degree and that can then
pursuing that degree and that can then
pursuing that degree and that can then motivate you to continue now also
motivate you to continue now also
motivate you to continue now also another question you can ask yourself if
another question you can ask yourself if
another question you can ask yourself if it feels like you’re engaged in upstream
it feels like you’re engaged in upstream
it feels like you’re engaged in upstream effort is have my values changed so
effort is have my values changed so
effort is have my values changed so there are times when we make a decision
there are times when we make a decision
there are times when we make a decision in our lives based on certain values but
in our lives based on certain values but
in our lives based on certain values but then those values change over time so
then those values change over time so
then those values change over time so for example if when you first finished
for example if when you first finished
for example if when you first finished University you got a job so that you
University you got a job so that you
University you got a job so that you could get some financial stability in
could get some financial stability in
could get some financial stability in your life but maybe three or five years
your life but maybe three or five years
your life but maybe three or five years later financial stability is no longer
later financial stability is no longer
later financial stability is no longer something that is as important to you
something that is as important to you
something that is as important to you that job might start to feel upstream
that job might start to feel upstream
that job might start to feel upstream because it no longer reflects your
because it no longer reflects your
because it no longer reflects your values in these situations we need to
values in these situations we need to
values in these situations we need to either quit or let go of or
either quit or let go of or
either quit or let go of or the very least significantly alter the
the very least significantly alter the
the very least significantly alter the path that were on so that we can course
path that were on so that we can course
path that were on so that we can course correct and bring ourselves in the
correct and bring ourselves in the
correct and bring ourselves in the direction of downstream effort in our
direction of downstream effort in our
direction of downstream effort in our lives so I believe that there are many
lives so I believe that there are many
lives so I believe that there are many times when we’re engaged in upstream
times when we’re engaged in upstream
times when we’re engaged in upstream effort when we actually need to quit or
effort when we actually need to quit or
effort when we actually need to quit or let go of something so that we can make
let go of something so that we can make
let go of something so that we can make room for downstream effort and so my
room for downstream effort and so my
room for downstream effort and so my main point here is not that we stop
main point here is not that we stop
main point here is not that we stop trying is that you stop trying so hard
trying is that you stop trying so hard
trying is that you stop trying so hard at things that don’t matter to you and
at things that don’t matter to you and
at things that don’t matter to you and start trying at things that do because
start trying at things that do because
start trying at things that do because when we engage in effort towards goals
when we engage in effort towards goals
when we engage in effort towards goals that are personally meaningful for us
that are personally meaningful for us
that are personally meaningful for us our trying doesn’t feel like trying and
our trying doesn’t feel like trying and
our trying doesn’t feel like trying and our success feels successful regardless
our success feels successful regardless
our success feels successful regardless of what it looks like to people on the
of what it looks like to people on the
of what it looks like to people on the outside now this might sound relatively
outside now this might sound relatively
outside now this might sound relatively straightforward however very few of us
straightforward however very few of us
straightforward however very few of us are actually living this way so many of
are actually living this way so many of
are actually living this way so many of us exert enormous amounts of effort
us exert enormous amounts of effort
us exert enormous amounts of effort towards goals that are not actually
towards goals that are not actually
towards goals that are not actually personally meaningful and even though
personally meaningful and even though
personally meaningful and even though the idea of downstream effort might
the idea of downstream effort might
the idea of downstream effort might sound a little bit counterintuitive I
sound a little bit counterintuitive I
sound a little bit counterintuitive I believe many of us really resonate with
believe many of us really resonate with
believe many of us really resonate with the idea of slowing down and exerting a
the idea of slowing down and exerting a
the idea of slowing down and exerting a different kind of effort in our lives
different kind of effort in our lives
different kind of effort in our lives and in fact many of the world’s great
and in fact many of the world’s great
and in fact many of the world’s great wisdom traditions actually emphasize
wisdom traditions actually emphasize
wisdom traditions actually emphasize similar concepts like practicing
similar concepts like practicing
similar concepts like practicing mindfulness non-attachment and
mindfulness non-attachment and
mindfulness non-attachment and emphasizing being over doing so for
emphasizing being over doing so for
emphasizing being over doing so for example in Taoism
example in Taoism
example in Taoism those are there’s a term called Wu Wei
those are there’s a term called Wu Wei
those are there’s a term called Wu Wei which which refers to a form of
which which refers to a form of
which which refers to a form of effortless effort and Lao Tzu a Chinese
effortless effort and Lao Tzu a Chinese
effortless effort and Lao Tzu a Chinese philosopher who’s considered to be the
philosopher who’s considered to be the
philosopher who’s considered to be the founder of Taoism wrote search your
founder of Taoism wrote search your
founder of Taoism wrote search your heart and see the way to do is to be and
heart and see the way to do is to be and
heart and see the way to do is to be and so I’ll admit that I don’t have this
so I’ll admit that I don’t have this
so I’ll admit that I don’t have this process completely figured out and my
process completely figured out and my
process completely figured out and my inner achievement addict is still alive
inner achievement addict is still alive
inner achievement addict is still alive and well and comes to visit me quite
and well and comes to visit me quite
and well and comes to visit me quite often but when she does I try to remind
often but when she does I try to remind
often but when she does I try to remind myself of some of the ideas and concepts
myself of some of the ideas and concepts
myself of some of the ideas and concepts that I’ve talked about today in order to
that I’ve talked about today in order to
that I’ve talked about today in order to do that course correction to bring
do that course correction to bring
do that course correction to bring myself in the direction of downstream
myself in the direction of downstream
myself in the direction of downstream effort in my life and so I would
effort in my life and so I would
effort in my life and so I would encourage all of you to take a good hard
encourage all of you to take a good hard
encourage all of you to take a good hard look at your own inner achievement
look at your own inner achievement
look at your own inner achievement addicts
addicts
addicts and ask yourself why you’re doing what
and ask yourself why you’re doing what
and ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing what’s motivating you are
you’re doing what’s motivating you are
you’re doing what’s motivating you are you motivated by something that’s true
you motivated by something that’s true
you motivated by something that’s true and authentic for you or are you
and authentic for you or are you
and authentic for you or are you motivated motivated by something that’s
motivated motivated by something that’s
motivated motivated by something that’s external to you and we might ask well
external to you and we might ask well
external to you and we might ask well why is this important well I believe
why is this important well I believe
why is this important well I believe it’s important because your health your
it’s important because your health your
it’s important because your health your well-being and your authenticity are
well-being and your authenticity are
well-being and your authenticity are more important than any job any
more important than any job any
more important than any job any promotion any salary any degree or
promotion any salary any degree or
promotion any salary any degree or frankly anyone else’s opinion of you and
frankly anyone else’s opinion of you and
frankly anyone else’s opinion of you and when we get this when we truly embody it
when we get this when we truly embody it
when we get this when we truly embody it and start living it then we really can
and start living it then we really can
and start living it then we really can begin to achieve more by doing less
”
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