imagine this you’re standing at a bar with a glass of wine and you’re looking
with a glass of wine and you’re looking
with a glass of wine and you’re looking around and then you spot somebody and
around and then you spot somebody and
around and then you spot somebody and you start watching them and you start
you start watching them and you start
you start watching them and you start looking at their face
looking at their face
looking at their face the way their move what they do with
the way their move what they do with
the way their move what they do with their hands and their feet and you’re
their hands and their feet and you’re
their hands and their feet and you’re trying to figure out in your head what
trying to figure out in your head what
trying to figure out in your head what is it they’re like what is it they’re
is it they’re like what is it they’re
is it they’re like what is it they’re thinking now imagine that it’s you the
thinking now imagine that it’s you the
thinking now imagine that it’s you the one being watched what do you think
one being watched what do you think
one being watched what do you think people could tell about you just by
people could tell about you just by
people could tell about you just by watching you from a distance you may but
watching you from a distance you may but
watching you from a distance you may but you may be quite surprised just as I was
you may be quite surprised just as I was
you may be quite surprised just as I was that night at a bar after receiving a
that night at a bar after receiving a
that night at a bar after receiving a very interesting observation from a
very interesting observation from a
very interesting observation from a lovely gentleman I met there he said
lovely gentleman I met there he said
lovely gentleman I met there he said Alina hmm you come across so Stern and
Alina hmm you come across so Stern and
Alina hmm you come across so Stern and strict I think people must be very
strict I think people must be very
strict I think people must be very scared of you can you imagine receiving
scared of you can you imagine receiving
scared of you can you imagine receiving a comment like that you know at the time
a comment like that you know at the time
a comment like that you know at the time I didn’t really know what to make of it
I didn’t really know what to make of it
I didn’t really know what to make of it but now I do and that’s probably one of
but now I do and that’s probably one of
but now I do and that’s probably one of the reasons why I’m here with you today
the reasons why I’m here with you today
the reasons why I’m here with you today the American author Frank Gillett Borges
the American author Frank Gillett Borges
the American author Frank Gillett Borges once said our bodies are apt to be our
once said our bodies are apt to be our
once said our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies what do you think
autobiographies what do you think
autobiographies what do you think is it true does your body reveal more
is it true does your body reveal more
is it true does your body reveal more than just what you’re thinking what
than just what you’re thinking what
than just what you’re thinking what you’re feeling does your body reveal
you’re feeling does your body reveal
you’re feeling does your body reveal your personal story your autobiography
your personal story your autobiography
your personal story your autobiography is your body an expression of who you
is your body an expression of who you
is your body an expression of who you are let’s take a look at this together
at the beginning your body is perfect
at the beginning your body is perfect you know when we’re a small children our
you know when we’re a small children our
you know when we’re a small children our spine is aligned and a body posture is
spine is aligned and a body posture is
spine is aligned and a body posture is erect and open and our body language is
erect and open and our body language is
erect and open and our body language is pure and authentic and everyone can read
pure and authentic and everyone can read
pure and authentic and everyone can read it’s just like a book and then we enter
it’s just like a book and then we enter
it’s just like a book and then we enter school and we start becoming aware of
school and we start becoming aware of
school and we start becoming aware of our own identity and we start forming
our own identity and we start forming
our own identity and we start forming beliefs about who we are and what the
beliefs about who we are and what the
beliefs about who we are and what the world is like and we also start
world is like and we also start
world is like and we also start experiencing our first feelings of
experiencing our first feelings of
experiencing our first feelings of inferiority and in significance around
inferiority and in significance around
inferiority and in significance around our friends and then we continue growing
our friends and then we continue growing
our friends and then we continue growing up and we go through that typical
up and we go through that typical
up and we go through that typical teenage struggle Who am I and who should
teenage struggle Who am I and who should
teenage struggle Who am I and who should I be in order to fit in and it’s like a
I be in order to fit in and it’s like a
I be in order to fit in and it’s like a constant negotiation between the two and
constant negotiation between the two and
constant negotiation between the two and as we go through life and we face
as we go through life and we face
as we go through life and we face difficult challenging situations at work
difficult challenging situations at work
difficult challenging situations at work and at home we start developing our
and at home we start developing our
and at home we start developing our unique coping strategies and in that
unique coping strategies and in that
unique coping strategies and in that process we start developing certain
process we start developing certain
process we start developing certain habits habits in the way we think and
habits habits in the way we think and
habits habits in the way we think and act and handle our emotions and you know
act and handle our emotions and you know
act and handle our emotions and you know what these habits they then get stored
what these habits they then get stored
what these habits they then get stored in the body in the tissue of the body
in the body in the tissue of the body
in the body in the tissue of the body layer by layer and they start shaping
layer by layer and they start shaping
layer by layer and they start shaping our bodies when I was a little girl I
our bodies when I was a little girl I
our bodies when I was a little girl I was very shy and I didn’t seem to fit in
was very shy and I didn’t seem to fit in
was very shy and I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere
anywhere
anywhere I remember at school when I tried to
I remember at school when I tried to
I remember at school when I tried to talk to my classmates about things that
talk to my classmates about things that
talk to my classmates about things that were important to me like why are we
were important to me like why are we
were important to me like why are we here on this planet and what is God and
here on this planet and what is God and
here on this planet and what is God and my mom is it really my mom he would give
my mom is it really my mom he would give
my mom is it really my mom he would give me strange looks and they would run away
me strange looks and they would run away
me strange looks and they would run away and I had these reactions all the time
and I had these reactions all the time
and I had these reactions all the time from people people running away from me
from people people running away from me
from people people running away from me so naturally as you can imagine I
so naturally as you can imagine I
so naturally as you can imagine I concluded that I was aught
concluded that I was aught
concluded that I was aught and that didn’t feel very well I began
and that didn’t feel very well I began
and that didn’t feel very well I began to feel very ashamed of myself so I was
to feel very ashamed of myself so I was
to feel very ashamed of myself so I was out but I was very ambitious and I
out but I was very ambitious and I
out but I was very ambitious and I realized very early on that if I
realized very early on that if I
realized very early on that if I excelled in everything then people will
excelled in everything then people will
excelled in everything then people will love me and I will not see my
love me and I will not see my
love me and I will not see my awkwardness
awkwardness
awkwardness so my friends that is exactly how my
so my friends that is exactly how my
so my friends that is exactly how my first coping strategy was born I became
first coping strategy was born I became
first coping strategy was born I became the perfect child
the perfect child
alena time to do your homework it’s done
alena time to do your homework it’s done I became the perfect student anyone
I became the perfect student anyone
I became the perfect student anyone wants to do register for the school’s
wants to do register for the school’s
wants to do register for the school’s essay contest I do I became the perfect
essay contest I do I became the perfect
essay contest I do I became the perfect ballroom dancer and now let me tell you
ballroom dancer and now let me tell you
ballroom dancer and now let me tell you my friends that this was probably one of
my friends that this was probably one of
my friends that this was probably one of my best strategies to hide my
my best strategies to hide my
my best strategies to hide my awkwardness because it let me step into
awkwardness because it let me step into
awkwardness because it let me step into a new character into someone who was
a new character into someone who was
a new character into someone who was admired because let’s face it my body
admired because let’s face it my body
admired because let’s face it my body and my moves and my smiles they were
and my moves and my smiles they were
and my moves and my smiles they were perfect look at me I’m perfect don’t you
perfect look at me I’m perfect don’t you
perfect look at me I’m perfect don’t you see it I’m perfect
see it I’m perfect
see it I’m perfect I almost convinced myself in the process
I almost convinced myself in the process
I almost convinced myself in the process I practiced ballroom dancing for a
I practiced ballroom dancing for a
I practiced ballroom dancing for a number of years and as you can imagine
number of years and as you can imagine
number of years and as you can imagine that has got a certain impact on the
that has got a certain impact on the
that has got a certain impact on the body on the body shape and on the
body on the body shape and on the
body on the body shape and on the muscles but something else happened
muscles but something else happened
muscles but something else happened there was a huge impact on my
there was a huge impact on my
there was a huge impact on my personality you have to understand that
personality you have to understand that
personality you have to understand that ballroom dancing is all about very
ballroom dancing is all about very
ballroom dancing is all about very specific controlled structured moves and
specific controlled structured moves and
specific controlled structured moves and so the more I danced the more controlled
so the more I danced the more controlled
so the more I danced the more controlled became my body and the more controlled
became my body and the more controlled
became my body and the more controlled and controlling became my personality It
and controlling became my personality It
and controlling became my personality It was as if I embodied this perfect dancer
was as if I embodied this perfect dancer
was as if I embodied this perfect dancer and my life became a big dance
and my life became a big dance
and my life became a big dance performance with everything
performance with everything
performance with everything plant and and controlled and practiced
plant and and controlled and practiced
plant and and controlled and practiced to reach perfection now add to that my
to reach perfection now add to that my
to reach perfection now add to that my further experiences in life and the fact
further experiences in life and the fact
further experiences in life and the fact that I became a female entrepreneur and
that I became a female entrepreneur and
that I became a female entrepreneur and I had to develop that mental and
I had to develop that mental and
I had to develop that mental and physical toughness and also the attitude
physical toughness and also the attitude
physical toughness and also the attitude of I can do it I don’t need you well put
of I can do it I don’t need you well put
of I can do it I don’t need you well put it all together and you have a recipe
it all together and you have a recipe
it all together and you have a recipe for disaster that control it became a
for disaster that control it became a
for disaster that control it became a central part of my personality and it
central part of my personality and it
central part of my personality and it was radiating through my body and it was
was radiating through my body and it was
was radiating through my body and it was out there for everyone to see but me and
out there for everyone to see but me and
out there for everyone to see but me and that’s exactly what the man saw in me
that’s exactly what the man saw in me
that’s exactly what the man saw in me that night in the bar and that’s exactly
that night in the bar and that’s exactly
that night in the bar and that’s exactly what I saw myself when I started
what I saw myself when I started
what I saw myself when I started watching video recordings of myself
watching video recordings of myself
watching video recordings of myself speaking at conferences I could see the
speaking at conferences I could see the
speaking at conferences I could see the pieces of my story everywhere in that
pieces of my story everywhere in that
pieces of my story everywhere in that intense look the big controlled
intense look the big controlled
intense look the big controlled saturated movements and the muscular
saturated movements and the muscular
saturated movements and the muscular tension and that intense voice it was
tension and that intense voice it was
tension and that intense voice it was there but you know what funnily enough I
there but you know what funnily enough I
there but you know what funnily enough I started to observe that exact behavior
started to observe that exact behavior
started to observe that exact behavior in random situations throughout my day
in random situations throughout my day
in random situations throughout my day when talking to friends or when walking
when talking to friends or when walking
when talking to friends or when walking on the street I could feel that control
on the street I could feel that control
on the street I could feel that control and tension in my body there is a reason
and tension in my body there is a reason
and tension in my body there is a reason why I tell you all that well there
why I tell you all that well there
why I tell you all that well there better be right there is a few things I
better be right there is a few things I
better be right there is a few things I believe you should know about your body
your body is shaped by your life
your body is shaped by your life experiences now you all know that what
experiences now you all know that what
experiences now you all know that what you eat and your lifestyle has got an
you eat and your lifestyle has got an
you eat and your lifestyle has got an impact on your body but I’d like you to
impact on your body but I’d like you to
impact on your body but I’d like you to understand that it’s not only that your
understand that it’s not only that your
understand that it’s not only that your mental and emotional habits and your
mental and emotional habits and your
mental and emotional habits and your past experiences and your beliefs have
past experiences and your beliefs have
past experiences and your beliefs have got a major impact on your body
got a major impact on your body
got a major impact on your body think about this when you feel good
think about this when you feel good
think about this when you feel good about yourself and you’re generally very
about yourself and you’re generally very
about yourself and you’re generally very content with your life your body will
content with your life your body will
content with your life your body will show that you will probably have a
show that you will probably have a
show that you will probably have a tendency to smile a lot and your posture
tendency to smile a lot and your posture
tendency to smile a lot and your posture and your muscles will be more relaxed if
and your muscles will be more relaxed if
and your muscles will be more relaxed if on the other hand you find it difficult
on the other hand you find it difficult
on the other hand you find it difficult and you’re set or upset with something
and you’re set or upset with something
and you’re set or upset with something that is happening in your life you may
that is happening in your life you may
that is happening in your life you may have a tendency to frown a lot ladies
have a tendency to frown a lot ladies
have a tendency to frown a lot ladies you know that wrinkle over here yeah and
you know that wrinkle over here yeah and
you know that wrinkle over here yeah and your muscles and your posture will be
your muscles and your posture will be
your muscles and your posture will be more tense now if this tendency
more tense now if this tendency
more tense now if this tendency continues for a while longer
continues for a while longer
continues for a while longer your body posture will start collapsing
your body posture will start collapsing
your body posture will start collapsing have you ever seen a body of a depressed
have you ever seen a body of a depressed
have you ever seen a body of a depressed person their body tells a story their
person their body tells a story their
person their body tells a story their problems are just too happy and they
problems are just too happy and they
problems are just too happy and they find it very difficult to cope when your
find it very difficult to cope when your
find it very difficult to cope when your body becomes off-balance you’re in
body becomes off-balance you’re in
body becomes off-balance you’re in trouble because in the same way as your
trouble because in the same way as your
trouble because in the same way as your life experiences shape your body your
life experiences shape your body your
life experiences shape your body your body then shapes your mind and
body then shapes your mind and
body then shapes your mind and eventually your personality today we
eventually your personality today we
eventually your personality today we have enough scientific evidence to show
have enough scientific evidence to show
have enough scientific evidence to show a clear relationship between your
a clear relationship between your
a clear relationship between your physical body and your mind think
physical body and your mind think
physical body and your mind think William James for instance William James
William James for instance William James
William James for instance William James who is the famous philosopher and
who is the famous philosopher and
who is the famous philosopher and psychologist who lived at the turn of
psychologist who lived at the turn of
psychologist who lived at the turn of the 20th century he started a whole
the 20th century he started a whole
the 20th century he started a whole movement in the field of psychology when
movement in the field of psychology when
movement in the field of psychology when he said I don’t think because I’m happy
he said I don’t think because I’m happy
he said I don’t think because I’m happy I’m happy because I think yes my friends
I’m happy because I think yes my friends
I’m happy because I think yes my friends today we know that even the slightest
today we know that even the slightest
today we know that even the slightest movement in your muscles can trigger a
movement in your muscles can trigger a
movement in your muscles can trigger a strong strong emotion you can test it
strong strong emotion you can test it
strong strong emotion you can test it yourself try drawing down your eyebrows
yourself try drawing down your eyebrows
yourself try drawing down your eyebrows and clenching your teeth
and clenching your teeth
and clenching your teeth and do it for two minutes and then tell
and do it for two minutes and then tell
and do it for two minutes and then tell me how it feels but please make sure
me how it feels but please make sure
me how it feels but please make sure that you do it after my presentation
that you do it after my presentation
that you do it after my presentation because otherwise I am in deep trouble
because otherwise I am in deep trouble
because otherwise I am in deep trouble so everything that you do physically
so everything that you do physically
so everything that you do physically with your body is going to impact your
with your body is going to impact your
with your body is going to impact your psychology I would like to invite you to
psychology I would like to invite you to
psychology I would like to invite you to think of everything that you do
think of everything that you do
think of everything that you do physically with your body throughout
physically with your body throughout
physically with your body throughout your day at work at school think of
your day at work at school think of
your day at work at school think of everything even the most trivial
everything even the most trivial
everything even the most trivial movements such as slouching over your
movements such as slouching over your
movements such as slouching over your iPhone you see whatever you do if you do
iPhone you see whatever you do if you do
iPhone you see whatever you do if you do it frequently enough it’s going to shape
it frequently enough it’s going to shape
it frequently enough it’s going to shape your mind and your personality and
your mind and your personality and
your mind and your personality and finally your body loves to talk it
finally your body loves to talk it
finally your body loves to talk it reveals a story that impacts your
reveals a story that impacts your
reveals a story that impacts your results every time you walk in the door
results every time you walk in the door
results every time you walk in the door your body tells a story to others based
your body tells a story to others based
your body tells a story to others based on that story others make up their mind
on that story others make up their mind
on that story others make up their mind about you and if they don’t like that
about you and if they don’t like that
about you and if they don’t like that story they will rarely tell you but they
story they will rarely tell you but they
story they will rarely tell you but they will act accordingly
will act accordingly
will act accordingly and you will probably not like the
and you will probably not like the
and you will probably not like the results and it’s such a shame because we
results and it’s such a shame because we
results and it’s such a shame because we missed so many opportunities in our
missed so many opportunities in our
missed so many opportunities in our personal life and in our business simply
personal life and in our business simply
personal life and in our business simply because we are unaware of our bodies and
because we are unaware of our bodies and
because we are unaware of our bodies and of the fact that our bodies sometimes
of the fact that our bodies sometimes
of the fact that our bodies sometimes tells a story that may be pushing people
tells a story that may be pushing people
tells a story that may be pushing people away
yes your body is an expression of who
yes your body is an expression of who you are your body reveals a story what’s
you are your body reveals a story what’s
you are your body reveals a story what’s your story
your story
your story are you aware I wasn’t is your story
are you aware I wasn’t is your story
are you aware I wasn’t is your story showing the best of you or is it showing
showing the best of you or is it showing
showing the best of you or is it showing some character that you stepped into
some character that you stepped into
some character that you stepped into just like I did
just like I did
just like I did whilst you’re your best self is buried
whilst you’re your best self is buried
whilst you’re your best self is buried somewhere under underneath the layers of
somewhere under underneath the layers of
somewhere under underneath the layers of past experiences
past experiences
past experiences habits think about it or what if you
habits think about it or what if you
habits think about it or what if you don’t like that story can you actually
don’t like that story can you actually
don’t like that story can you actually change it yes you can change it we do
change it yes you can change it we do
change it yes you can change it we do very powerful exercises in our training
very powerful exercises in our training
very powerful exercises in our training courses in which we make people aware
courses in which we make people aware
courses in which we make people aware that first they have a body and that
that first they have a body and that
that first they have a body and that second their body have got set in
second their body have got set in
second their body have got set in movement tendencies that have got impact
movement tendencies that have got impact
movement tendencies that have got impact on the person and also on their
on the person and also on their
on the person and also on their psychology and their relationship with
psychology and their relationship with
psychology and their relationship with others and people come with all sorts of
others and people come with all sorts of
others and people come with all sorts of very interesting revelations like oh my
very interesting revelations like oh my
very interesting revelations like oh my god I didn’t even realize that when I
god I didn’t even realize that when I
god I didn’t even realize that when I talk to people my shoulders always tense
talk to people my shoulders always tense
talk to people my shoulders always tense up and my right shoulder is up or oh my
up and my right shoulder is up or oh my
up and my right shoulder is up or oh my hands I always try to hide my hands in
hands I always try to hide my hands in
hands I always try to hide my hands in the pockets oh I haven’t had a tension
the pockets oh I haven’t had a tension
the pockets oh I haven’t had a tension in my hip and no actually it’s painful
in my hip and no actually it’s painful
in my hip and no actually it’s painful and I wasn’t even aware well I’m not
and I wasn’t even aware well I’m not
and I wasn’t even aware well I’m not surprised
surprised
surprised we are rarely aware of our bodies unless
we are rarely aware of our bodies unless
we are rarely aware of our bodies unless the pain gets absolutely unbearable
the pain gets absolutely unbearable
the pain gets absolutely unbearable another exercise that we do with our
another exercise that we do with our
another exercise that we do with our students is we make them move in a new
students is we make them move in a new
students is we make them move in a new different kind of funny ways and
different kind of funny ways and
different kind of funny ways and typically the stranger the move for the
typically the stranger the move for the
typically the stranger the move for the person the better it is because it helps
person the better it is because it helps
person the better it is because it helps them to balance their body and their
them to balance their body and their
them to balance their body and their personality we also help people identify
personality we also help people identify
personality we also help people identify the different physical activities that
the different physical activities that
the different physical activities that they can start doing in order to find
they can start doing in order to find
they can start doing in order to find that balance I remember when I started
that balance I remember when I started
that balance I remember when I started to experiment with freestyle dancing I
to experiment with freestyle dancing I
to experiment with freestyle dancing I was absolutely horrified because you
was absolutely horrified because you
was absolutely horrified because you know what they didn’t tell me what to do
know what they didn’t tell me what to do
know what they didn’t tell me what to do they didn’t tell me they didn’t give me
they didn’t tell me they didn’t give me
they didn’t tell me they didn’t give me any instructions and I was like what am
any instructions and I was like what am
any instructions and I was like what am I supposed to do
I supposed to do
I supposed to do and they said Alan I just let your body
and they said Alan I just let your body
and they said Alan I just let your body move freely to the music and I’m like
move freely to the music and I’m like
move freely to the music and I’m like what but but what am I supposed to do
what but but what am I supposed to do
what but but what am I supposed to do with the right hand and with the with
with the right hand and with the with
with the right hand and with the with the left foot
the left foot
the left foot and then I started to ease into that
and then I started to ease into that
and then I started to ease into that free flow movement and you know what it
free flow movement and you know what it
free flow movement and you know what it was so beautiful it was so beautiful and
was so beautiful it was so beautiful and
was so beautiful it was so beautiful and that’s exactly what I needed in order to
that’s exactly what I needed in order to
that’s exactly what I needed in order to in order to start letting go of my
in order to start letting go of my
in order to start letting go of my excessive control tendencies or surfing
excessive control tendencies or surfing
excessive control tendencies or surfing can you imagine how stressful surfing
can you imagine how stressful surfing
can you imagine how stressful surfing can be for a person like me who tries to
can be for a person like me who tries to
can be for a person like me who tries to control the board and the wave and the
control the board and the wave and the
control the board and the wave and the people around terrible
people around terrible
people around terrible so my friends let’s go back to that bar
so my friends let’s go back to that bar
so my friends let’s go back to that bar you’re the one being watched what is
you’re the one being watched what is
you’re the one being watched what is that story that others can reveal just
that story that others can reveal just
that story that others can reveal just by watching you move by your presence it
by watching you move by your presence it
by watching you move by your presence it better be a good one we need to see your
better be a good one we need to see your
better be a good one we need to see your best self because that is the only way
best self because that is the only way
best self because that is the only way how you can make a real impact in the
how you can make a real impact in the
how you can make a real impact in the world and reach the results that you
world and reach the results that you
world and reach the results that you want and that’s the only way how we can
want and that’s the only way how we can
want and that’s the only way how we can all benefit from your talents so please
all benefit from your talents so please
all benefit from your talents so please remember your body is an expression of
remember your body is an expression of
remember your body is an expression of who you are your body reveals the story
who you are your body reveals the story
who you are your body reveals the story but also remember that your body is a
but also remember that your body is a
but also remember that your body is a powerful and magnificent instrument that
powerful and magnificent instrument that
powerful and magnificent instrument that you can use in order to change that
you can use in order to change that
you can use in order to change that story and bring out the best in you use
story and bring out the best in you use
story and bring out the best in you use your body wisely and I guarantee you’ll
your body wisely and I guarantee you’ll
your body wisely and I guarantee you’ll live an extraordinary story
live an extraordinary story
live an extraordinary story [Applause]
”
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