[Applause] hi I I arrived in Kazakhstan in 2011 and
hi I I arrived in Kazakhstan in 2011 and
hi I I arrived in Kazakhstan in 2011 and my first experience with the local
my first experience with the local
my first experience with the local culture was with the taxi driver so I
culture was with the taxi driver so I
culture was with the taxi driver so I enter in the taxi and even though the
enter in the taxi and even though the
enter in the taxi and even though the guy didn’t speak English we were able to
guy didn’t speak English we were able to
guy didn’t speak English we were able to sort some small talk so he started
sort some small talk so he started
sort some small talk so he started asking me where are you from and ant I’m
asking me where are you from and ant I’m
asking me where are you from and ant I’m from Italy how old are you and at the
from Italy how old are you and at the
from Italy how old are you and at the time I was 26 and then he asked as a
time I was 26 and then he asked as a
time I was 26 and then he asked as a third question so I guess in order
third question so I guess in order
third question so I guess in order priority are you married
priority are you married
priority are you married and I casually answer no I’m not married
and I casually answer no I’m not married
and I casually answer no I’m not married the reaction of the taxi driver despite
the reaction of the taxi driver despite
the reaction of the taxi driver despite I couldn’t understand Russian it was
I couldn’t understand Russian it was
I couldn’t understand Russian it was very interesting for me because it was
very interesting for me because it was
very interesting for me because it was kind of upset you know it was like what
kind of upset you know it was like what
kind of upset you know it was like what do you mean you’re 26 you’re not married
do you mean you’re 26 you’re not married
do you mean you’re 26 you’re not married big problem you know like I could
big problem you know like I could
big problem you know like I could understand problema and and like and the
understand problema and and like and the
understand problema and and like and the reaction again was showing me that he
reaction again was showing me that he
reaction again was showing me that he was disappointed with me
was disappointed with me
was disappointed with me I even had a funny thought that maybe he
I even had a funny thought that maybe he
I even had a funny thought that maybe he was going to stop a car and you know
was going to stop a car and you know
was going to stop a car and you know find a random guy and bring us to the
find a random guy and bring us to the
find a random guy and bring us to the registration joke aside them I’ve been
registration joke aside them I’ve been
registration joke aside them I’ve been here six years and I noticed that this
here six years and I noticed that this
here six years and I noticed that this was not the last time that a taxi driver
was not the last time that a taxi driver
was not the last time that a taxi driver was going to ask me this kind of
was going to ask me this kind of
was going to ask me this kind of question been in Kazakhstan and be over
question been in Kazakhstan and be over
question been in Kazakhstan and be over 25 years old is not so funny you as a
25 years old is not so funny you as a
25 years old is not so funny you as a woman as a boy as a man have a very
woman as a boy as a man have a very
woman as a boy as a man have a very heavy pressure from society you need to
heavy pressure from society you need to
heavy pressure from society you need to get married as soon as possible and to
get married as soon as possible and to
get married as soon as possible and to fulfill the standard
fulfill the standard
fulfill the standard so you could make your family happy
so you could make your family happy
so you could make your family happy your coworker happy and maybe the taxi
your coworker happy and maybe the taxi
your coworker happy and maybe the taxi driver from my perspective many girls
driver from my perspective many girls
driver from my perspective many girls not everyone but many girls get married
not everyone but many girls get married
not everyone but many girls get married so you can claim to the society that you
so you can claim to the society that you
so you can claim to the society that you were chosen that you are following the
were chosen that you are following the
were chosen that you are following the standards of this society um but then
standards of this society um but then
standards of this society um but then sorry you look at the statistic and what
sorry you look at the statistic and what
sorry you look at the statistic and what you see is that in Kazakhstan every
you see is that in Kazakhstan every
you see is that in Kazakhstan every third couple is getting a divorce
another standards that I notice women
another standards that I notice women has to fulfill in this society is
has to fulfill in this society is
has to fulfill in this society is virginity you need to be virgin to be
virginity you need to be virgin to be
virginity you need to be virgin to be chosen by your future husband and I also
chosen by your future husband and I also
chosen by your future husband and I also heard that now there is a very good
heard that now there is a very good
heard that now there is a very good business going on because you can
business going on because you can
business going on because you can restore their genius only you can still
restore their genius only you can still
restore their genius only you can still play the game but what I want to say
play the game but what I want to say
play the game but what I want to say about the virginity is that doesn’t
about the virginity is that doesn’t
about the virginity is that doesn’t matter if you’re pretty it doesn’t
matter if you’re pretty it doesn’t
matter if you’re pretty it doesn’t matter if you’re educated abroad it
matter if you’re educated abroad it
matter if you’re educated abroad it doesn’t matter if you are funny if
doesn’t matter if you are funny if
doesn’t matter if you are funny if you’re not virgin you are not able to be
you’re not virgin you are not able to be
you’re not virgin you are not able to be part of this game where I come from in
part of this game where I come from in
part of this game where I come from in Italy as you know we have the Pope we
Italy as you know we have the Pope we
Italy as you know we have the Pope we have the church were also very religion
have the church were also very religion
have the church were also very religion country virginity is not a sacred issue
country virginity is not a sacred issue
country virginity is not a sacred issue a woman that is not virgin is not
a woman that is not virgin is not
a woman that is not virgin is not treated as a prostitute a woman that has
treated as a prostitute a woman that has
treated as a prostitute a woman that has experience it’s just you know a woman
experience it’s just you know a woman
experience it’s just you know a woman with experience and what I noticed and
with experience and what I noticed and
with experience and what I noticed and what I feel is that maybe that’s why
what I feel is that maybe that’s why
what I feel is that maybe that’s why Italian girls are a little bit more
Italian girls are a little bit more
Italian girls are a little bit more confident of many other girls in the
confident of many other girls in the
confident of many other girls in the local society and then what happened
local society and then what happened
local society and then what happened then you get married because you had to
then you get married because you had to
then you get married because you had to and you’re sharing this married life
and you’re sharing this married life
and you’re sharing this married life with your husband which is a new person
with your husband which is a new person
with your husband which is a new person under the same roof you know like you
under the same roof you know like you
under the same roof you know like you before you you were doing something like
before you you were doing something like
before you you were doing something like movie and dating and now you’re under
movie and dating and now you’re under
movie and dating and now you’re under the same roof and you actually know him
the same roof and you actually know him
the same roof and you actually know him deeply and what you notice is that
deeply and what you notice is that
deeply and what you notice is that something is missing what is missing is
something is missing what is missing is
something is missing what is missing is common goals common vision I’m not
common goals common vision I’m not
common goals common vision I’m not talking about interested because a
talking about interested because a
talking about interested because a healthy couple can have different
healthy couple can have different
healthy couple can have different interest but what you should make sure
interest but what you should make sure
interest but what you should make sure before getting married is that you have
before getting married is that you have
before getting married is that you have a common vision means what it means that
a common vision means what it means that
a common vision means what it means that if you want to be a successful lawyer
if you want to be a successful lawyer
if you want to be a successful lawyer you need to make sure that your husband
you need to make sure that your husband
you need to make sure that your husband after you get married will not tell you
after you get married will not tell you
after you get married will not tell you to stay home raising nine kids and
to stay home raising nine kids and
to stay home raising nine kids and prepare food for the visitors that are
prepare food for the visitors that are
prepare food for the visitors that are coming from other town you want to be
coming from other town you want to be
coming from other town you want to be sure that your husband likes to go out
sure that your husband likes to go out
sure that your husband likes to go out or like it’s like to sit home and play
or like it’s like to sit home and play
or like it’s like to sit home and play video games and you have to have you
video games and you have to have you
video games and you have to have you know a social life
know a social life
know a social life this will not be armful afterwards
this will not be armful afterwards
this will not be armful afterwards because things will not change after you
because things will not change after you
because things will not change after you get married things will stay the same so
get married things will stay the same so
get married things will stay the same so whoever you are before the marriage is
whoever you are before the marriage is
whoever you are before the marriage is not going to come and be sorted out
not going to come and be sorted out
not going to come and be sorted out afterwards so you want to be sure that
afterwards so you want to be sure that
afterwards so you want to be sure that the person that you’re gonna share the
the person that you’re gonna share the
the person that you’re gonna share the life width is going to be the same one
life width is going to be the same one
life width is going to be the same one that is sharing your same vision because
that is sharing your same vision because
that is sharing your same vision because if this doesn’t happen you know again
if this doesn’t happen you know again
if this doesn’t happen you know again what happened divorce
what happened divorce
what happened divorce unhappy woman miserable couples another
unhappy woman miserable couples another
unhappy woman miserable couples another thing that I noticed is that sometimes
thing that I noticed is that sometimes
thing that I noticed is that sometimes you are not getting married only with
you are not getting married only with
you are not getting married only with your husband but you’re adding your
your husband but you’re adding your
your husband but you’re adding your parents hot so let me tell you getting
parents hot so let me tell you getting
parents hot so let me tell you getting married is very hard because you are you
married is very hard because you are you
married is very hard because you are you know sharing time with another human
know sharing time with another human
know sharing time with another human being
being
being another had another brain another you
another had another brain another you
another had another brain another you know Abbot’s adding relatives on this
know Abbot’s adding relatives on this
know Abbot’s adding relatives on this couple it’s a horror movie
I have been witness of situation when a
I have been witness of situation when a woman would get married with the husband
woman would get married with the husband
woman would get married with the husband like a couple and their husband will
like a couple and their husband will
like a couple and their husband will tell her my mother is visiting us for a
tell her my mother is visiting us for a
tell her my mother is visiting us for a couple of months then she would ask
couple of months then she would ask
couple of months then she would ask after a couple of months so she’s living
after a couple of months so she’s living
after a couple of months so she’s living and the husband would get very mad mad
and the husband would get very mad mad
and the husband would get very mad mad with her because you would think that
with her because you would think that
with her because you would think that she doesn’t like the mother-in-law so
she doesn’t like the mother-in-law so
she doesn’t like the mother-in-law so this is like you know this is again
this is like you know this is again
this is like you know this is again something that creates unhappy woman and
something that creates unhappy woman and
something that creates unhappy woman and creates again fights and creates divorce
creates again fights and creates divorce
creates again fights and creates divorce again so the consequence of this are
again so the consequence of this are
again so the consequence of this are pretty clear and me my husband which is
pretty clear and me my husband which is
pretty clear and me my husband which is here today we got married in 2014 and
here today we got married in 2014 and
here today we got married in 2014 and when I come back in Kazakhstan because
when I come back in Kazakhstan because
when I come back in Kazakhstan because we got married in Istanbul I was you
we got married in Istanbul I was you
we got married in Istanbul I was you know very proud of myself so I went out
know very proud of myself so I went out
know very proud of myself so I went out on the street I put my hands out and I’m
on the street I put my hands out and I’m
on the street I put my hands out and I’m waiting for the taxi driver so I’m there
waiting for the taxi driver so I’m there
waiting for the taxi driver so I’m there and say come on I’m ready for you you
and say come on I’m ready for you you
and say come on I’m ready for you you know so the taxi driver stopped I
know so the taxi driver stopped I
know so the taxi driver stopped I entered in the car and I’m like having
entered in the car and I’m like having
entered in the car and I’m like having an evil smile because I know you know so
an evil smile because I know you know so
an evil smile because I know you know so it’s like Viet khuda I like I’m from
it’s like Viet khuda I like I’m from
it’s like Viet khuda I like I’m from Italy and then they all have the same
Italy and then they all have the same
Italy and then they all have the same you know priority and say how old are
you know priority and say how old are
you know priority and say how old are you I’m 29
you I’m 29
you I’m 29 are you married yes wait it’s not good
are you married yes wait it’s not good
are you married yes wait it’s not good and many girls like do you have kids no
and many girls like do you have kids no
and many girls like do you have kids no no I don’t have kids you know like I was
no I don’t have kids you know like I was
no I don’t have kids you know like I was almost happy that I fulfilled the
almost happy that I fulfilled the
almost happy that I fulfilled the standards but then again I failed but
standards but then again I failed but
standards but then again I failed but this was even worst you know guys
this was even worst you know guys
this was even worst you know guys because the this timing was harder for
because the this timing was harder for
because the this timing was harder for me
me
me you start asking me very personal
you start asking me very personal
you start asking me very personal question why you don’t have kids
question why you don’t have kids
question why you don’t have kids you’re 29 you’re old do you know that
you’re 29 you’re old do you know that
you’re 29 you’re old do you know that maybe your kids if you’re gonna have one
maybe your kids if you’re gonna have one
maybe your kids if you’re gonna have one they’re not gonna be healthy and I’m
they’re not gonna be healthy and I’m
they’re not gonna be healthy and I’m thinking maybe he’s gonna have three
thinking maybe he’s gonna have three
thinking maybe he’s gonna have three eyes I don’t know why it’s not gonna be
eyes I don’t know why it’s not gonna be
eyes I don’t know why it’s not gonna be healthy maybe you have some problem with
healthy maybe you have some problem with
healthy maybe you have some problem with your you know reproduction equipment
your you know reproduction equipment
your you know reproduction equipment maybe your husband is not good
maybe your husband is not good
maybe your husband is not good once I even experienced a taxi driver
once I even experienced a taxi driver
once I even experienced a taxi driver who told me if I were your husband I
who told me if I were your husband I
who told me if I were your husband I would have made you pregnant from the
would have made you pregnant from the
would have made you pregnant from the first night until I finish and I decide
first night until I finish and I decide
first night until I finish and I decide that you are enough this was a real
that you are enough this was a real
that you are enough this was a real violence for me it was a very moral
violence for me it was a very moral
violence for me it was a very moral violence and I think nobody should ask
violence and I think nobody should ask
violence and I think nobody should ask you when where are your kids because the
you when where are your kids because the
you when where are your kids because the reason can be so many you know you can
reason can be so many you know you can
reason can be so many you know you can have some problem you want to wait maybe
have some problem you want to wait maybe
have some problem you want to wait maybe you you know you want to focus on your
you you know you want to focus on your
you you know you want to focus on your career but why should I feel inadequate
career but why should I feel inadequate
career but why should I feel inadequate in this society because I don’t have
in this society because I don’t have
in this society because I don’t have kids why I cannot wait
kids why I cannot wait
kids why I cannot wait when is my time to have kids and then
when is my time to have kids and then
when is my time to have kids and then let’s forget for a minute about the taxi
let’s forget for a minute about the taxi
let’s forget for a minute about the taxi driver you need to have babies
driver you need to have babies
driver you need to have babies you need to make boys because you have
you need to make boys because you have
you need to make boys because you have girls then again is another problem you
girls then again is another problem you
girls then again is another problem you know you need to make your husband your
know you need to make your husband your
know you need to make your husband your family your relative proud of you but
family your relative proud of you but
family your relative proud of you but what if you don’t want to have kids what
what if you don’t want to have kids what
what if you don’t want to have kids what if you don’t want to make this decision
if you don’t want to make this decision
if you don’t want to make this decision now and wait to focus on your career
now and wait to focus on your career
now and wait to focus on your career what if I want to travel and enjoy life
what if I want to travel and enjoy life
what if I want to travel and enjoy life again why should I feel inadequate
again why should I feel inadequate
again why should I feel inadequate making kids is not about what other
making kids is not about what other
making kids is not about what other people wants and then when I see I see
people wants and then when I see I see
people wants and then when I see I see many girls feeling not matching the
many girls feeling not matching the
many girls feeling not matching the circle of their friends because all
circle of their friends because all
circle of their friends because all other girlfriends are 25 with three kids
other girlfriends are 25 with three kids
other girlfriends are 25 with three kids and you know you think maybe I’m wrong
and you know you think maybe I’m wrong
and you know you think maybe I’m wrong and you think that you need to follow
and you think that you need to follow
and you think that you need to follow the rules and you have to make kids as
the rules and you have to make kids as
the rules and you have to make kids as soon as possible but let me tell you be
soon as possible but let me tell you be
soon as possible but let me tell you be a mother is not what other people wish
a mother is not what other people wish
a mother is not what other people wish or what your girlfriends are doing
or what your girlfriends are doing
or what your girlfriends are doing surrounding you babies are not an
surrounding you babies are not an
surrounding you babies are not an accessories babies are not a object that
accessories babies are not a object that
accessories babies are not a object that you leave to your mother or to your
you leave to your mother or to your
you leave to your mother or to your nannies because you got a divorce and
nannies because you got a divorce and
nannies because you got a divorce and then you need to find another husband
then you need to find another husband
then you need to find another husband maybe babies are not something that you
maybe babies are not something that you
maybe babies are not something that you do to keep your husband tied to you kids
do to keep your husband tied to you kids
do to keep your husband tied to you kids are a result of a happy relationship and
are a result of a happy relationship and
are a result of a happy relationship and kids should live in an environment made
kids should live in an environment made
kids should live in an environment made of two parents so what can I say after
of two parents so what can I say after
of two parents so what can I say after all I have noticed so far in this
all I have noticed so far in this
all I have noticed so far in this country that we could drop the number of
country that we could drop the number of
country that we could drop the number of divorce
divorce
divorce we could have confidence woman
we could have confidence woman
we could have confidence woman successful in their business and success
successful in their business and success
successful in their business and success successful in their private life we
successful in their private life we
successful in their private life we could have more babies with two parents
could have more babies with two parents
could have more babies with two parents how to do this listen to yourself
how to do this listen to yourself
how to do this listen to yourself and there’s what you want look at their
and there’s what you want look at their
and there’s what you want look at their culture take a gap here live abroad we
culture take a gap here live abroad we
culture take a gap here live abroad we are living nowadays in a time where
are living nowadays in a time where
are living nowadays in a time where everything is accessible our world is
everything is accessible our world is
everything is accessible our world is not the same of 50 years ago
not the same of 50 years ago
not the same of 50 years ago there is no border everybody can access
there is no border everybody can access
there is no border everybody can access to anybody else so if you want to have
to anybody else so if you want to have
to anybody else so if you want to have kids when you’re young do it if you want
kids when you’re young do it if you want
kids when you’re young do it if you want to wait do it the only question that I
to wait do it the only question that I
to wait do it the only question that I suggest you to ask yourself is do I want
suggest you to ask yourself is do I want
suggest you to ask yourself is do I want this now today thank you
this now today thank you
this now today thank you [Applause]
”
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