this could be a way of learning less porque esto un poco nervioso I mean
porque esto un poco nervioso I mean
porque esto un poco nervioso I mean let’s just tell me what can be a spender
let’s just tell me what can be a spender
let’s just tell me what can be a spender okay pero arm so Lucy the part the
okay pero arm so Lucy the part the
okay pero arm so Lucy the part the critic once said that all art is
critic once said that all art is
critic once said that all art is political but not all artists realize
political but not all artists realize
political but not all artists realize that this is so I’m paraphrasing her
that this is so I’m paraphrasing her
that this is so I’m paraphrasing her words James Baldwin the great u.s.
words James Baldwin the great u.s.
words James Baldwin the great u.s. American writer once said that he was
American writer once said that he was
American writer once said that he was asked how he felt about being homosexual
asked how he felt about being homosexual
asked how he felt about being homosexual in black and he replied I feel like I
in black and he replied I feel like I
in black and he replied I feel like I hit the jackpot these are these are some
hit the jackpot these are these are some
hit the jackpot these are these are some of my favorite quotes that have helped
of my favorite quotes that have helped
of my favorite quotes that have helped to define my life as as a human being
to define my life as as a human being
to define my life as as a human being the first speaks to my experience as an
the first speaks to my experience as an
the first speaks to my experience as an artist and the second to my experience
artist and the second to my experience
artist and the second to my experience as a gay man and as a mexican-american
as a gay man and as a mexican-american
as a gay man and as a mexican-american so growing up in the u.s. in the 90s
so growing up in the u.s. in the 90s
so growing up in the u.s. in the 90s before the Internet as a young gay boy
before the Internet as a young gay boy
before the Internet as a young gay boy it was really hard the kind of images I
it was really hard the kind of images I
it was really hard the kind of images I saw reflected of myself as a gay person
saw reflected of myself as a gay person
saw reflected of myself as a gay person on like TV in the movies tended to be
on like TV in the movies tended to be
on like TV in the movies tended to be really negative there were images there
really negative there were images there
really negative there were images there were either laughingstocks
were either laughingstocks
were either laughingstocks or tragic figures who were doomed to die
or tragic figures who were doomed to die
or tragic figures who were doomed to die or or sinister but basically I could
or or sinister but basically I could
or or sinister but basically I could never see anything reflected in the
never see anything reflected in the
never see anything reflected in the world at large that that was an image
world at large that that was an image
world at large that that was an image that I could imagine as a life for
that I could imagine as a life for
that I could imagine as a life for myself like any kind of an ocean of love
myself like any kind of an ocean of love
myself like any kind of an ocean of love or normalcy or a hero a person at the
or normalcy or a hero a person at the
or normalcy or a hero a person at the center of the story is because of things
center of the story is because of things
center of the story is because of things that I think that straight people take
that I think that straight people take
that I think that straight people take for granted or something that were just
for granted or something that were just
for granted or something that were just simply denied to to me as a gay as a
simply denied to to me as a gay as a
simply denied to to me as a gay as a young gay boy and well you know to the
young gay boy and well you know to the
young gay boy and well you know to the wider gay community so being my
wider gay community so being my
wider gay community so being my experience my personal experience
experience my personal experience
experience my personal experience growing up wasn’t any easier I grew up
growing up wasn’t any easier I grew up
growing up wasn’t any easier I grew up with a Mexican mother was very Catholic
with a Mexican mother was very Catholic
with a Mexican mother was very Catholic very conservative and it was it was that
very conservative and it was it was that
very conservative and it was it was that was really hard to it’s like her values
was really hard to it’s like her values
was really hard to it’s like her values were patriarchal and and frankly
were patriarchal and and frankly
were patriarchal and and frankly machista and growing up in that context
machista and growing up in that context
machista and growing up in that context you know I was taught to feel a lot of
you know I was taught to feel a lot of
you know I was taught to feel a lot of fear and shame and sadness about myself
fear and shame and sadness about myself
fear and shame and sadness about myself and about this thing I couldn’t control
and about this thing I couldn’t control
and about this thing I couldn’t control about myself there was really nowhere
about myself there was really nowhere
about myself there was really nowhere you know to put these emotions which is
you know to put these emotions which is
you know to put these emotions which is really difficult luckily I wasn’t
really difficult luckily I wasn’t
really difficult luckily I wasn’t bullied by the kids around me and I was
bullied by the kids around me and I was
bullied by the kids around me and I was you know treated pretty well but
you know treated pretty well but
you know treated pretty well but nonetheless I used to think about you
nonetheless I used to think about you
nonetheless I used to think about you know like killing myself and things like
know like killing myself and things like
know like killing myself and things like that is a
that is a
that is a it was really depressing and I think
it was really depressing and I think
it was really depressing and I think that I did my life in a little different
that I did my life in a little different
that I did my life in a little different had I’ve been bullied more than I was I
had I’ve been bullied more than I was I
had I’ve been bullied more than I was I might not be here today so being Latino
might not be here today so being Latino
might not be here today so being Latino in an American context was also
in an American context was also
in an American context was also difficult
difficult
difficult my mother was an undocumented immigrants
my mother was an undocumented immigrants
my mother was an undocumented immigrants and I saw the way that the world around
and I saw the way that the world around
and I saw the way that the world around me treated people of color like my
me treated people of color like my
me treated people of color like my mother and undocumented immigrants and
mother and undocumented immigrants and
mother and undocumented immigrants and Mexicans Mexican Americans in the US and
Mexicans Mexican Americans in the US and
Mexicans Mexican Americans in the US and it tended not to be very positive and
it tended not to be very positive and
it tended not to be very positive and the image and popular culture of Latinos
the image and popular culture of Latinos
the image and popular culture of Latinos was also something that you know they
was also something that you know they
was also something that you know they were always marginalized and stereotyped
were always marginalized and stereotyped
were always marginalized and stereotyped so I felt doubly marginalized as a gay
so I felt doubly marginalized as a gay
so I felt doubly marginalized as a gay person and as as a mexican-american so
person and as as a mexican-american so
person and as as a mexican-american so my parents were you know very concerned
my parents were you know very concerned
my parents were you know very concerned my education and they didn’t have a lot
my education and they didn’t have a lot
my education and they didn’t have a lot of money so they used to buy antique
of money so they used to buy antique
of money so they used to buy antique children’s books and here are some
children’s books and here are some
children’s books and here are some examples of the kinds of the kind of
examples of the kinds of the kind of
examples of the kinds of the kind of books that I used to love a lot when I
books that I used to love a lot when I
books that I used to love a lot when I was growing up so I had I had these
was growing up so I had I had these
was growing up so I had I had these books and I would study them and paint
books and I would study them and paint
books and I would study them and paint them and you know think about them as a
them and you know think about them as a
them and you know think about them as a little kid and the thing that all of
little kid and the thing that all of
little kid and the thing that all of these kinds of images have in common is
these kinds of images have in common is
these kinds of images have in common is that is that everybody in them is white
that is that everybody in them is white
that is that everybody in them is white and everybody in them is straight so I
and everybody in them is straight so I
and everybody in them is straight so I feel like my youthful feelings of
feel like my youthful feelings of
feel like my youthful feelings of alienation had a little bit to do with
alienation had a little bit to do with
alienation had a little bit to do with the fact that I never saw myself
the fact that I never saw myself
the fact that I never saw myself reflected in the kinds of work I loved
reflected in the kinds of work I loved
reflected in the kinds of work I loved so much starting at the youngest age so
so much starting at the youngest age so
so much starting at the youngest age so the thing about these paintings is that
the thing about these paintings is that
the thing about these paintings is that they have power like like all art
they have power like like all art
they have power like like all art they’re political as you see the part
they’re political as you see the part
they’re political as you see the part would say they’re telling us a story
would say they’re telling us a story
would say they’re telling us a story about how we view ourselves as a people
about how we view ourselves as a people
about how we view ourselves as a people and as a society they’re telling us
and as a society they’re telling us
and as a society they’re telling us about about gender men and women are
about about gender men and women are
about about gender men and women are expected to play very prescribed roles
expected to play very prescribed roles
expected to play very prescribed roles they’re telling us about bodies
they’re telling us about bodies
they’re telling us about bodies everybody in these paintings are skinny
everybody in these paintings are skinny
everybody in these paintings are skinny they’re telling us about race everybody
they’re telling us about race everybody
they’re telling us about race everybody in them is white and they’re telling us
in them is white and they’re telling us
in them is white and they’re telling us about about sexuality it’s always a man
about about sexuality it’s always a man
about about sexuality it’s always a man who falls in love with a woman and it’s
who falls in love with a woman and it’s
who falls in love with a woman and it’s never any other way they’re telling us
never any other way they’re telling us
never any other way they’re telling us that the princess always has to be a
that the princess always has to be a
that the princess always has to be a white woman that the nine shining armor
white woman that the nine shining armor
white woman that the nine shining armor will always be a straight man and the
will always be a straight man and the
will always be a straight man and the kiss at the end of the story will always
kiss at the end of the story will always
kiss at the end of the story will always be between a man and a woman and
be between a man and a woman and
be between a man and a woman and anything else is unnatural because it
anything else is unnatural because it
anything else is unnatural because it literally never happens so so I went to
literally never happens so so I went to
literally never happens so so I went to art school I studied installation and
art school I studied installation and
art school I studied installation and performance but it
performance but it
performance but it certain point I realized that my love of
certain point I realized that my love of
certain point I realized that my love of painting was just too great and I wanted
painting was just too great and I wanted
painting was just too great and I wanted to to revisit these kinds of paintings
to to revisit these kinds of paintings
to to revisit these kinds of paintings that I used to love so much as a kid and
that I used to love so much as a kid and
that I used to love so much as a kid and I decided that this time I knew
I decided that this time I knew
I decided that this time I knew something more about it I understood
something more about it I understood
something more about it I understood what they were saying and I understood
what they were saying and I understood
what they were saying and I understood what was being excluded and I wanted to
what was being excluded and I wanted to
what was being excluded and I wanted to include myself and people like myself in
include myself and people like myself in
include myself and people like myself in the narrative and tell paintings from a
the narrative and tell paintings from a
the narrative and tell paintings from a gay perspective and in a Mexican
gay perspective and in a Mexican
gay perspective and in a Mexican perspective in which gay love and gay
perspective in which gay love and gay
perspective in which gay love and gay kids could be celebrated and I started
kids could be celebrated and I started
kids could be celebrated and I started making paintings like these and it was
making paintings like these and it was
making paintings like these and it was really empowering because I felt like I
really empowering because I felt like I
really empowering because I felt like I could imagine myself as that child that
could imagine myself as that child that
could imagine myself as that child that used to be that that child had been you
used to be that that child had been you
used to be that that child had been you know afraid and ashamed and and I’d
know afraid and ashamed and and I’d
know afraid and ashamed and and I’d taken away that shame and put desire at
taken away that shame and put desire at
taken away that shame and put desire at the center of it I had read I had made a
the center of it I had read I had made a
the center of it I had read I had made a painting in which the the vision of love
painting in which the the vision of love
painting in which the the vision of love that we as a culture share could be
that we as a culture share could be
that we as a culture share could be shared with people like me and it felt
shared with people like me and it felt
shared with people like me and it felt like it worked because I started getting
like it worked because I started getting
like it worked because I started getting fan letters and my work started selling
fan letters and my work started selling
fan letters and my work started selling more and so I wanted to make paintings
more and so I wanted to make paintings
more and so I wanted to make paintings that would address history and give a
that would address history and give a
that would address history and give a voice to gay or gay ancestors as own
voice to gay or gay ancestors as own
voice to gay or gay ancestors as own voices have been silenced and and I
voices have been silenced and and I
voices have been silenced and and I wanted to to make paintings where where
wanted to to make paintings where where
wanted to to make paintings where where shame was stripped away and pride was
shame was stripped away and pride was
shame was stripped away and pride was celebrated so so then so having done
celebrated so so then so having done
celebrated so so then so having done these kinds of paintings I realized that
these kinds of paintings I realized that
these kinds of paintings I realized that the possibilities are essentially
the possibilities are essentially
the possibilities are essentially endless because nobody had been
endless because nobody had been
endless because nobody had been representing these because of paintings
representing these because of paintings
representing these because of paintings except for straight white people and
except for straight white people and
except for straight white people and that everybody else was was missing and
that everybody else was was missing and
that everybody else was was missing and that there were a million stories that I
that there were a million stories that I
that there were a million stories that I could tell but making a painting that
could tell but making a painting that
could tell but making a painting that features a white gay man or a Mexican
features a white gay man or a Mexican
features a white gay man or a Mexican gay man it’s something that I could
gay man it’s something that I could
gay man it’s something that I could easily do because I myself represent
easily do because I myself represent
easily do because I myself represent both of these groups and I don’t need
both of these groups and I don’t need
both of these groups and I don’t need ask anyone’s permission I can do this
ask anyone’s permission I can do this
ask anyone’s permission I can do this for my own my own perspective telling my
for my own my own perspective telling my
for my own my own perspective telling my own story and celebrating my own desire
own story and celebrating my own desire
own story and celebrating my own desire but if I’m going to tell a painting
but if I’m going to tell a painting
but if I’m going to tell a painting about another minority that is not from
about another minority that is not from
about another minority that is not from a group of myself if I wanted painted
a group of myself if I wanted painted
a group of myself if I wanted painted women if I want to paint transgender men
women if I want to paint transgender men
women if I want to paint transgender men or women I need to I need to do
or women I need to I need to do
or women I need to I need to do something else I need to like approach
something else I need to like approach
something else I need to like approach the models so so these are the kinds of
the models so so these are the kinds of
the models so so these are the kinds of paintings I started making afterwards
paintings I started making afterwards
paintings I started making afterwards you know celebrating a wider variety of
you know celebrating a wider variety of
you know celebrating a wider variety of people and to do this I need to I need
people and to do this I need to I need
people and to do this I need to I need to talk to the model and ask them what
to talk to the model and ask them what
to talk to the model and ask them what their experience was
their experience was
their experience was I need to listen to them and tell listen
I need to listen to them and tell listen
I need to listen to them and tell listen to them when they told me their stories
to them when they told me their stories
to them when they told me their stories and represent that and and not represent
and represent that and and not represent
and represent that and and not represent the fantasy that I had brought to it
the fantasy that I had brought to it
the fantasy that I had brought to it beforehand I need to approach the model
beforehand I need to approach the model
beforehand I need to approach the model and the work that I’m making with
and the work that I’m making with
and the work that I’m making with empathy and extend that empathy through
empathy and extend that empathy through
empathy and extend that empathy through the work to a broader audience so that
the work to a broader audience so that
the work to a broader audience so that that audience can if they’re coming from
that audience can if they’re coming from
that audience can if they’re coming from the outside can can experience like the
the outside can can experience like the
the outside can can experience like the kind of love that I’m trying to
kind of love that I’m trying to
kind of love that I’m trying to celebrate I feel like to make the kind
celebrate I feel like to make the kind
celebrate I feel like to make the kind of painting that I want to make I need
of painting that I want to make I need
of painting that I want to make I need to approach it with an open mind and
to approach it with an open mind and
to approach it with an open mind and make something that’s beautiful and
make something that’s beautiful and
make something that’s beautiful and something that’s loving and something
something that’s loving and something
something that’s loving and something that speaks to the model to the models
that speaks to the model to the models
that speaks to the model to the models community to the wider queer community
community to the wider queer community
community to the wider queer community and to like the wider human community a
and to like the wider human community a
and to like the wider human community a story about the diversity of gender and
story about the diversity of gender and
story about the diversity of gender and the the universality of love so so I
the the universality of love so so I
the the universality of love so so I consider myself an activist I feel like
consider myself an activist I feel like
consider myself an activist I feel like there’s a story that I have to tell and
there’s a story that I have to tell and
there’s a story that I have to tell and an ability that I have to communicate
an ability that I have to communicate
an ability that I have to communicate and to add to a conversation I feel like
and to add to a conversation I feel like
and to add to a conversation I feel like with the work that I can do I can move a
with the work that I can do I can move a
with the work that I can do I can move a conversation along and I can celebrate
conversation along and I can celebrate
conversation along and I can celebrate pride celebrate love and celebrate
pride celebrate love and celebrate
pride celebrate love and celebrate acceptance so if I’m ever asked how I
acceptance so if I’m ever asked how I
acceptance so if I’m ever asked how I feel about being Mexican and and and gay
feel about being Mexican and and and gay
feel about being Mexican and and and gay I feel like I can honestly reply I feel
I feel like I can honestly reply I feel
I feel like I can honestly reply I feel like I hit the jackpot thank you very
like I hit the jackpot thank you very
like I hit the jackpot thank you very much
”
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