here you have your future it’s your crystal ball
crystal ball
crystal ball it’s not a magic crystal ball you can’t
it’s not a magic crystal ball you can’t
it’s not a magic crystal ball you can’t actually see the future in it but I hope
actually see the future in it but I hope
actually see the future in it but I hope through what I say today that I will
through what I say today that I will
through what I say today that I will help you to create a better future for
help you to create a better future for
help you to create a better future for yourselves we’ve talked about all kinds
yourselves we’ve talked about all kinds
yourselves we’ve talked about all kinds of futures but now what I want to share
of futures but now what I want to share
of futures but now what I want to share with you is your personal futures I’ll
with you is your personal futures I’ll
with you is your personal futures I’ll start with telling you a little story
start with telling you a little story
start with telling you a little story many years ago I fainted at a party and
many years ago I fainted at a party and
many years ago I fainted at a party and it changed my life
it changed my life
it changed my life I’d never fainted before facking
I’d never fainted before facking
I’d never fainted before facking experience in itself but I felt fine I
experience in itself but I felt fine I
experience in itself but I felt fine I came to immediately and I felt fine
came to immediately and I felt fine
came to immediately and I felt fine afterwards my wife insisted that I go
afterwards my wife insisted that I go
afterwards my wife insisted that I go for a CT scan afterwards just in case
for a CT scan afterwards just in case
for a CT scan afterwards just in case because I’d hit my head and after her
because I’d hit my head and after her
because I’d hit my head and after her repeating that 15 times I agreed had we
repeating that 15 times I agreed had we
repeating that 15 times I agreed had we went to the emergency room
went to the emergency room
went to the emergency room I had the various tests the doctor comes
I had the various tests the doctor comes
I had the various tests the doctor comes out and he says you don’t have any
out and he says you don’t have any
out and he says you don’t have any cranial damage and I looked at my wife
cranial damage and I looked at my wife
cranial damage and I looked at my wife knowingly and I said of course I knew
knowingly and I said of course I knew
knowingly and I said of course I knew that you made me go here he said but you
that you made me go here he said but you
that you made me go here he said but you have cancer
have cancer
have cancer so if I hadn’t fainted and if I hadn’t
so if I hadn’t fainted and if I hadn’t
so if I hadn’t fainted and if I hadn’t listened to my wife which I do
listened to my wife which I do
listened to my wife which I do completely now I wouldn’t be here today
completely now I wouldn’t be here today
completely now I wouldn’t be here today so what is the message in all of this
so what is the message in all of this
so what is the message in all of this the questions that I’m going to address
the questions that I’m going to address
the questions that I’m going to address basically are what can you control in
basically are what can you control in
basically are what can you control in your life and how do you create your own
your life and how do you create your own
your life and how do you create your own future whether you believe my
future whether you believe my
future whether you believe my life-saving event was chance serendipity
life-saving event was chance serendipity
life-saving event was chance serendipity or providential it focuses on how we
or providential it focuses on how we
or providential it focuses on how we unbox our futures how do any of us
unbox our futures how do any of us
unbox our futures how do any of us respond as a person to any event that
respond as a person to any event that
respond as a person to any event that determines our futures as gives us what
determines our futures as gives us what
determines our futures as gives us what you’re saying we can’t control our
you’re saying we can’t control our
you’re saying we can’t control our futures but we can control how we
futures but we can control how we
futures but we can control how we respond an important part of this that
respond an important part of this that
respond an important part of this that I’m here to remind you of is that we all
I’m here to remind you of is that we all
I’m here to remind you of is that we all take our lives for granted every day we
take our lives for granted every day we
take our lives for granted every day we forget what a precious gift life is and
forget what a precious gift life is and
forget what a precious gift life is and we should live each day as if it were
we should live each day as if it were
we should live each day as if it were our last because you know what
our last because you know what
our last because you know what these days we’ll be right so I ask you
these days we’ll be right so I ask you
these days we’ll be right so I ask you what do you cherish and does the way you
what do you cherish and does the way you
what do you cherish and does the way you live your life match what you cherish
live your life match what you cherish
live your life match what you cherish I’ve learned to do that and that’s why
I’ve learned to do that and that’s why
I’ve learned to do that and that’s why I’m here
I’m here
I’m here let me talk a little bit about why we
let me talk a little bit about why we
let me talk a little bit about why we fail to create our futures I coach
fail to create our futures I coach
fail to create our futures I coach executives in corporations and I had a
executives in corporations and I had a
executives in corporations and I had a client a number of years ago as I was
client a number of years ago as I was
client a number of years ago as I was interviewing him he said I’ve come to
interviewing him he said I’ve come to
interviewing him he said I’ve come to work on the same train every day I’ve
work on the same train every day I’ve
work on the same train every day I’ve worked in the same office every day and
worked in the same office every day and
worked in the same office every day and I’ve gone on home on the same train
I’ve gone on home on the same train
I’ve gone on home on the same train every day for 25 years and then he said
every day for 25 years and then he said
every day for 25 years and then he said and I hated every minute of it and I
and I hated every minute of it and I
and I hated every minute of it and I went yeah psychologists are supposed to
went yeah psychologists are supposed to
went yeah psychologists are supposed to be very balanced but I didn’t so the
be very balanced but I didn’t so the
be very balanced but I didn’t so the question I ask him is the question I ask
question I ask him is the question I ask
question I ask him is the question I ask you now is that what you really want
you now is that what you really want
you now is that what you really want what do you want and how will you make
what do you want and how will you make
what do you want and how will you make it happen every day we have an
it happen every day we have an
it happen every day we have an opportunity to create a different future
opportunity to create a different future
opportunity to create a different future and if we don’t use those opportunities
and if we don’t use those opportunities
and if we don’t use those opportunities we will fail so I encourage you stop
we will fail so I encourage you stop
we will fail so I encourage you stop think and perhaps most important feel
think and perhaps most important feel
think and perhaps most important feel how would you change to create a better
how would you change to create a better
how would you change to create a better future speaking more about what happens
future speaking more about what happens
future speaking more about what happens to us each day that affects what will
to us each day that affects what will
to us each day that affects what will happen to us in the future think of
happen to us in the future think of
happen to us in the future think of something that happened to each of you
something that happened to each of you
something that happened to each of you in the past good or bad that shaped who
in the past good or bad that shaped who
in the past good or bad that shaped who you are today and the question I posed
you are today and the question I posed
you are today and the question I posed to you is did you shape it or did it
to you is did you shape it or did it
to you is did you shape it or did it shape you my cancer did not shape me it
shape you my cancer did not shape me it
shape you my cancer did not shape me it helped me shape my world today because I
helped me shape my world today because I
helped me shape my world today because I thought deeply as I’m laying in a
thought deeply as I’m laying in a
thought deeply as I’m laying in a hospital bed after the surgery then I
hospital bed after the surgery then I
hospital bed after the surgery then I could have succumbed to a fateful end or
could have succumbed to a fateful end or
could have succumbed to a fateful end or I could decide to expand my world and by
I could decide to expand my world and by
I could decide to expand my world and by the way the major expansion in my world
the way the major expansion in my world
the way the major expansion in my world is Lia tava and there’s why today I feel
is Lia tava and there’s why today I feel
is Lia tava and there’s why today I feel cone astok
so let me talk a little bit about how
so let me talk a little bit about how our personalities shape our futures and
our personalities shape our futures and
our personalities shape our futures and I’ll just give you a couple of examples
I’ll just give you a couple of examples
I’ll just give you a couple of examples and I would encourage you to ask
and I would encourage you to ask
and I would encourage you to ask yourself these questions as I’m
yourself these questions as I’m
yourself these questions as I’m describing it are you an optimist or a
describing it are you an optimist or a
describing it are you an optimist or a pessimist if you’re an optimist do you
pessimist if you’re an optimist do you
pessimist if you’re an optimist do you expect positive things to happen and
expect positive things to happen and
expect positive things to happen and they become what we often call
they become what we often call
they become what we often call self-fulfilling prophecies likewise if
self-fulfilling prophecies likewise if
self-fulfilling prophecies likewise if you are a pessimist you create negative
you are a pessimist you create negative
you are a pessimist you create negative self-fulfilling prophecies that all
self-fulfilling prophecies that all
self-fulfilling prophecies that all helps create your future are you bold or
helps create your future are you bold or
helps create your future are you bold or fearful if you are bold you make
fearful if you are bold you make
fearful if you are bold you make mistakes but you open yourself to new
mistakes but you open yourself to new
mistakes but you open yourself to new worlds if you are fearful you find
worlds if you are fearful you find
worlds if you are fearful you find safety in the status quo and don’t make
safety in the status quo and don’t make
safety in the status quo and don’t make the changes you may need to make are you
the changes you may need to make are you
the changes you may need to make are you intuitive or analytic both are valuable
intuitive or analytic both are valuable
intuitive or analytic both are valuable qualities if you are intuitive you go
qualities if you are intuitive you go
qualities if you are intuitive you go with that which helps you move most
with that which helps you move most
with that which helps you move most quickly if your analytic you need
quickly if your analytic you need
quickly if your analytic you need everything to make sense and plan
everything to make sense and plan
everything to make sense and plan everything in an orderly fashion
everything in an orderly fashion
everything in an orderly fashion they’re both paths to an end but they do
they’re both paths to an end but they do
they’re both paths to an end but they do lead to different directions
lead to different directions
lead to different directions next are you assertive or passive if
next are you assertive or passive if
next are you assertive or passive if you’re assertive you push things forward
you’re assertive you push things forward
you’re assertive you push things forward if you’re a passive you wait for things
if you’re a passive you wait for things
if you’re a passive you wait for things to happen and as a result your future
to happen and as a result your future
to happen and as a result your future happens to you every aspect of your
happens to you every aspect of your
happens to you every aspect of your personality shapes your future so why
personality shapes your future so why
personality shapes your future so why are we afraid of the future
are we afraid of the future
are we afraid of the future and we all are well first of all because
and we all are well first of all because
and we all are well first of all because it’s the least controllable aspect of
it’s the least controllable aspect of
it’s the least controllable aspect of our lives okay we never know how long
our lives okay we never know how long
our lives okay we never know how long we’re going to live we never know
we’re going to live we never know
we’re going to live we never know exactly what is going to happen every
exactly what is going to happen every
exactly what is going to happen every day week ago when I came here I
day week ago when I came here I
day week ago when I came here I developed a bronchitis that’s why I’m
developed a bronchitis that’s why I’m
developed a bronchitis that’s why I’m singing in a different tone today and as
singing in a different tone today and as
singing in a different tone today and as each day approached coming to TEDx I was
each day approached coming to TEDx I was
each day approached coming to TEDx I was thinking am I going to be able to talk
thinking am I going to be able to talk
thinking am I going to be able to talk here well fortunately with lots of tea
here well fortunately with lots of tea
here well fortunately with lots of tea I am so how does thinking about the
I am so how does thinking about the
I am so how does thinking about the future occupy us well we all fantasized
future occupy us well we all fantasized
future occupy us well we all fantasized we think about well maybe we’ll do this
we think about well maybe we’ll do this
we think about well maybe we’ll do this maybe we’ll do that from some of those
maybe we’ll do that from some of those
maybe we’ll do that from some of those fantasies become
fantasies become
fantasies become plans which are important as long as we
plans which are important as long as we
plans which are important as long as we realize the biblical expression that man
realize the biblical expression that man
realize the biblical expression that man plans that God laughs our images of the
plans that God laughs our images of the
plans that God laughs our images of the future are shaped by our experiences of
future are shaped by our experiences of
future are shaped by our experiences of the past so what is our personal future
the past so what is our personal future
the past so what is our personal future and it’s the most tantalizing of all
and it’s the most tantalizing of all
and it’s the most tantalizing of all questions because we don’t know how long
questions because we don’t know how long
questions because we don’t know how long we will live or when we will die but we
we will live or when we will die but we
we will live or when we will die but we should live with an assumption that we
should live with an assumption that we
should live with an assumption that we have a lot of time ahead of us and we
have a lot of time ahead of us and we
have a lot of time ahead of us and we don’t know what unexpected events like
don’t know what unexpected events like
don’t know what unexpected events like my cancer will change the trajectory of
my cancer will change the trajectory of
my cancer will change the trajectory of our lives think for a moment how long do
our lives think for a moment how long do
our lives think for a moment how long do you believe you will live and why do you
you believe you will live and why do you
you believe you will live and why do you believe that I will tell you when I was
believe that I will tell you when I was
believe that I will tell you when I was in graduate school more years ago than
in graduate school more years ago than
in graduate school more years ago than any of you can count I was asked to
any of you can count I was asked to
any of you can count I was asked to because it was a doctorate in psychology
because it was a doctorate in psychology
because it was a doctorate in psychology to complete my own death certificate my
to complete my own death certificate my
to complete my own death certificate my obituary as it was I predicted that I
obituary as it was I predicted that I
obituary as it was I predicted that I would live till the age of 56 well guess
would live till the age of 56 well guess
would live till the age of 56 well guess what I’m almost 74 that prediction was
what I’m almost 74 that prediction was
what I’m almost 74 that prediction was based upon my unhappy worldview at the
based upon my unhappy worldview at the
based upon my unhappy worldview at the time if anybody has been in a doctoral
time if anybody has been in a doctoral
time if anybody has been in a doctoral program you know how easily that creates
program you know how easily that creates
program you know how easily that creates an unhappy worldview so let me tell you
an unhappy worldview so let me tell you
an unhappy worldview so let me tell you what some of the researchers told us
what some of the researchers told us
what some of the researchers told us about what we can expect and it
about what we can expect and it
about what we can expect and it basically is around the stages of adult
basically is around the stages of adult
basically is around the stages of adult development in our 20s and some of you
development in our 20s and some of you
development in our 20s and some of you may be in your 20s is certainly a young
may be in your 20s is certainly a young
may be in your 20s is certainly a young audience I found one person that was
audience I found one person that was
audience I found one person that was close to a contemporary of mine in your
close to a contemporary of mine in your
close to a contemporary of mine in your 20s it is all about striving finishing
20s it is all about striving finishing
20s it is all about striving finishing your education going on for further
your education going on for further
your education going on for further education creating a career for yourself
education creating a career for yourself
education creating a career for yourself and experimenting and by the way to me
and experimenting and by the way to me
and experimenting and by the way to me that’s the most important part of 20s
that’s the most important part of 20s
that’s the most important part of 20s people in their 20s often think I can t
people in their 20s often think I can t
people in their 20s often think I can t have this figured out I’m already an
have this figured out I’m already an
have this figured out I’m already an adult no that’s wrong what I encourage
adult no that’s wrong what I encourage
adult no that’s wrong what I encourage people to do is experiment throughout
people to do is experiment throughout
people to do is experiment throughout their 20s for that matter to experiment
their 20s for that matter to experiment
their 20s for that matter to experiment throughout their lives but particularly
throughout their lives but particularly
throughout their lives but particularly in your 20s okay then we move to the 30s
in your 20s okay then we move to the 30s
in your 20s okay then we move to the 30s and that’s a period that we see as great
and that’s a period that we see as great
and that’s a period that we see as great growth as very
growth as very
growth as very procreative period that is both
procreative period that is both
procreative period that is both literally in terms of building a family
literally in terms of building a family
literally in terms of building a family for many of us and figuratively in terms
for many of us and figuratively in terms
for many of us and figuratively in terms of building our careers then we come to
of building our careers then we come to
of building our careers then we come to our 40s our 40s is called midlife and
our 40s our 40s is called midlife and
our 40s our 40s is called midlife and it’s also become told called becoming
it’s also become told called becoming
it’s also become told called becoming one’s own person why is that because it
one’s own person why is that because it
one’s own person why is that because it seems to be human nature no matter what
seems to be human nature no matter what
seems to be human nature no matter what your background intellect whatever that
your background intellect whatever that
your background intellect whatever that you step back and look at the first 20
you step back and look at the first 20
you step back and look at the first 20 years of your adult life and say what is
years of your adult life and say what is
years of your adult life and say what is this all about what am i doing and is it
this all about what am i doing and is it
this all about what am i doing and is it the right thing am I my own person or am
the right thing am I my own person or am
the right thing am I my own person or am I just following a set of rules and
I just following a set of rules and
I just following a set of rules and guidelines if you successfully resolve
guidelines if you successfully resolve
guidelines if you successfully resolve those questions into your 50s you begin
those questions into your 50s you begin
those questions into your 50s you begin to live life much more on your own terms
to live life much more on your own terms
to live life much more on your own terms and as a result you could be more true
and as a result you could be more true
and as a result you could be more true to yourselves and do what you want with
to yourselves and do what you want with
to yourselves and do what you want with less fear because fear is the enemy
less fear because fear is the enemy
less fear because fear is the enemy there’s no question about that then we
there’s no question about that then we
there’s no question about that then we reach our 60s and 60s is a period of
reach our 60s and 60s is a period of
reach our 60s and 60s is a period of making choices major choices include do
making choices major choices include do
making choices major choices include do we want to retire or continue to work
we want to retire or continue to work
we want to retire or continue to work I’ve chosen continuing to work and what
I’ve chosen continuing to work and what
I’ve chosen continuing to work and what haven’t we done that we want to do while
haven’t we done that we want to do while
haven’t we done that we want to do while we can and that choice was mainly driven
we can and that choice was mainly driven
we can and that choice was mainly driven by one my cancer and two by Leah Tova I
by one my cancer and two by Leah Tova I
by one my cancer and two by Leah Tova I say that my body lives in Chicago but my
say that my body lives in Chicago but my
say that my body lives in Chicago but my heart lives in Leah to foe now we
heart lives in Leah to foe now we
heart lives in Leah to foe now we reached the 70s my decade and I can only
reached the 70s my decade and I can only
reached the 70s my decade and I can only tell you it’s a period of great great
tell you it’s a period of great great
tell you it’s a period of great great richness why is that after all these
richness why is that after all these
richness why is that after all these years of life you should and you will
years of life you should and you will
years of life you should and you will develop a level of perspective that
develop a level of perspective that
develop a level of perspective that you’ve never had before and you will
you’ve never had before and you will
you’ve never had before and you will feel your truest sense of self so how do
feel your truest sense of self so how do
feel your truest sense of self so how do people build the future the first
people build the future the first
people build the future the first question is how far in time you’re
question is how far in time you’re
question is how far in time you’re willing to look I don’t mean that you
willing to look I don’t mean that you
willing to look I don’t mean that you have to plan every day every year every
have to plan every day every year every
have to plan every day every year every decade going forward but a simple way of
decade going forward but a simple way of
decade going forward but a simple way of understanding it is how is your current
understanding it is how is your current
understanding it is how is your current age different from what you expected it
age different from what you expected it
age different from what you expected it to be did you expect to be doing one
to be did you expect to be doing one
to be did you expect to be doing one thing and you’re doing another did you
thing and you’re doing another did you
thing and you’re doing another did you expect to have achieved a certain thing
expect to have achieved a certain thing
expect to have achieved a certain thing and you’ve either achieved more or less
and you’ve either achieved more or less
and you’ve either achieved more or less in other words is your life better or
in other words is your life better or
in other words is your life better or worse than you expected and why now the
worse than you expected and why now the
worse than you expected and why now the important part about creating your
important part about creating your
important part about creating your future is by looking at the patterns of
future is by looking at the patterns of
future is by looking at the patterns of our behavior in the past you know
our behavior in the past you know
our behavior in the past you know Einstein said at least supposedly he was
Einstein said at least supposedly he was
Einstein said at least supposedly he was the one that said insanity is doing the
the one that said insanity is doing the
the one that said insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different
same thing and expecting a different
same thing and expecting a different result
result
result unless we change our patterns then we
unless we change our patterns then we
unless we change our patterns then we will always behave in the future as we
will always behave in the future as we
will always behave in the future as we behaved in the past so I would ask you
behaved in the past so I would ask you
behaved in the past so I would ask you to think about how do you usually treat
to think about how do you usually treat
to think about how do you usually treat people and the corollary to that how do
people and the corollary to that how do
people and the corollary to that how do they usually treat you
they usually treat you
they usually treat you what are your relationships like are you
what are your relationships like are you
what are your relationships like are you happy with them however they evolved
happy with them however they evolved
happy with them however they evolved over time and how do they need to evolve
over time and how do they need to evolve
over time and how do they need to evolve I see three types of response to moving
I see three types of response to moving
I see three types of response to moving into the future one is resistance I
into the future one is resistance I
into the future one is resistance I don’t want to go there I don’t want to
don’t want to go there I don’t want to
don’t want to go there I don’t want to think about it
think about it
think about it people will say my high school years are
people will say my high school years are
people will say my high school years are given as iam years were the best years
given as iam years were the best years
given as iam years were the best years of my life I think that’s one of the
of my life I think that’s one of the
of my life I think that’s one of the saddest statements that exist another is
saddest statements that exist another is
saddest statements that exist another is stagnation well this is working out ok
stagnation well this is working out ok
stagnation well this is working out ok for me so I might as well just continue
for me so I might as well just continue
for me so I might as well just continue down the same path once again then your
down the same path once again then your
down the same path once again then your future is shaping you you are not
future is shaping you you are not
future is shaping you you are not shaping your future and the third
shaping your future and the third
shaping your future and the third response is embracing the future what’s
response is embracing the future what’s
response is embracing the future what’s ahead how exciting can it be I can tell
ahead how exciting can it be I can tell
ahead how exciting can it be I can tell you because I am where you will
you because I am where you will
you because I am where you will eventually be that if you embrace the
eventually be that if you embrace the
eventually be that if you embrace the future it leads to wonderful change so
future it leads to wonderful change so
future it leads to wonderful change so what more can I tell you from a personal
what more can I tell you from a personal
what more can I tell you from a personal perspective about shaping your future
perspective about shaping your future
perspective about shaping your future first of all and I say this without ego
first of all and I say this without ego
first of all and I say this without ego I’m one of the happiest people you were
I’m one of the happiest people you were
I’m one of the happiest people you were ever meet
ever meet
ever meet I wasn’t always okay and I say this
I wasn’t always okay and I say this
I wasn’t always okay and I say this knowing that the majority of my future
knowing that the majority of my future
knowing that the majority of my future is in the past okay
is in the past okay
is in the past okay but knowing all of that past enriches
but knowing all of that past enriches
but knowing all of that past enriches every one of my days so I’m not saying
every one of my days so I’m not saying
every one of my days so I’m not saying that life is always happy or easy mine
that life is always happy or easy mine
that life is always happy or easy mine certainly hasn’t been but what I want to
certainly hasn’t been but what I want to
certainly hasn’t been but what I want to tell you is how I have learned here
tell you is how I have learned here
tell you is how I have learned here penis the first thing I can say is that
penis the first thing I can say is that
penis the first thing I can say is that it has been by a strong long and loving
it has been by a strong long and loving
it has been by a strong long and loving relationship the second it has been by
relationship the second it has been by
relationship the second it has been by building a family not that I expect
building a family not that I expect
building a family not that I expect everyone should build a family although
everyone should build a family although
everyone should build a family although given some of the population changes in
given some of the population changes in
given some of the population changes in Liat of I think you should work hard on
Liat of I think you should work hard on
Liat of I think you should work hard on that by taking risks okay if you don’t
that by taking risks okay if you don’t
that by taking risks okay if you don’t risk anything you think you’re not going
risk anything you think you’re not going
risk anything you think you’re not going to lose but actually you lose the most
to lose but actually you lose the most
to lose but actually you lose the most by doing what you love I was very
by doing what you love I was very
by doing what you love I was very fortunate to discover and it wasn’t
fortunate to discover and it wasn’t
fortunate to discover and it wasn’t immediately it was in my late 30s what
immediately it was in my late 30s what
immediately it was in my late 30s what it was that I truly loved in terms of my
it was that I truly loved in terms of my
it was that I truly loved in terms of my career and it has so much carried me
career and it has so much carried me
career and it has so much carried me along with a wind of absolute joy that I
along with a wind of absolute joy that I
along with a wind of absolute joy that I encourage you that in every way but I
encourage you that in every way but I
encourage you that in every way but I finding new passions throughout life I
finding new passions throughout life I
finding new passions throughout life I first came to liova in the 90s I’ve been
first came to liova in the 90s I’ve been
first came to liova in the 90s I’ve been coming here regularly since then and I
coming here regularly since then and I
coming here regularly since then and I will tell you and I don’t do this to
will tell you and I don’t do this to
will tell you and I don’t do this to curry favor with the audience
curry favor with the audience
curry favor with the audience liova is my passion okay and I do so
liova is my passion okay and I do so
liova is my passion okay and I do so much while I’m here another concept is a
much while I’m here another concept is a
much while I’m here another concept is a Hebraic concept it’s called tikkun alum
Hebraic concept it’s called tikkun alum
Hebraic concept it’s called tikkun alum and it means healing or repairing the
and it means healing or repairing the
and it means healing or repairing the world so much of the joy that I get out
world so much of the joy that I get out
world so much of the joy that I get out of life is by doing things in my small
of life is by doing things in my small
of life is by doing things in my small way that can help make the world a
way that can help make the world a
way that can help make the world a better place so a few days ago I
better place so a few days ago I
better place so a few days ago I contributed greatly to the opening of
contributed greatly to the opening of
contributed greatly to the opening of the Samuel black Art Museum in Vilnius
the Samuel black Art Museum in Vilnius
the Samuel black Art Museum in Vilnius and through that opening this artist who
and through that opening this artist who
and through that opening this artist who portrays the absolute pain of the
portrays the absolute pain of the
portrays the absolute pain of the Holocaust much as like the brown eye
Holocaust much as like the brown eye
Holocaust much as like the brown eye blue eye presentation that we saw before
blue eye presentation that we saw before
blue eye presentation that we saw before will stand as a permanent monument for
will stand as a permanent monument for
will stand as a permanent monument for not just the Lithuanian people but I
not just the Lithuanian people but I
not just the Lithuanian people but I believe the people of the world to not
believe the people of the world to not
believe the people of the world to not make that mistake again
make that mistake again
make that mistake again by forgiveness so one of the hardest
by forgiveness so one of the hardest
by forgiveness so one of the hardest lessons I ever learned
lessons I ever learned
lessons I ever learned all of us experience where somebody does
all of us experience where somebody does
all of us experience where somebody does us some wrong okay you don’t forget that
us some wrong okay you don’t forget that
us some wrong okay you don’t forget that it’s impossible to do that but learning
it’s impossible to do that but learning
it’s impossible to do that but learning how to forgive is critical and why is it
how to forgive is critical and why is it
how to forgive is critical and why is it critical because unless we forgive the
critical because unless we forgive the
critical because unless we forgive the person we do more pain to ourselves that
person we do more pain to ourselves that
person we do more pain to ourselves that we do the other person if we think about
we do the other person if we think about
we do the other person if we think about revenge in our selves against the other
revenge in our selves against the other
revenge in our selves against the other person we’re constantly dealing with
person we’re constantly dealing with
person we’re constantly dealing with that pain if we let go of that and go
that pain if we let go of that and go
that pain if we let go of that and go into the future by forgiveness then we
into the future by forgiveness then we
into the future by forgiveness then we don’t experience that another thing that
don’t experience that another thing that
don’t experience that another thing that makes me so happy is by sharing what I
makes me so happy is by sharing what I
makes me so happy is by sharing what I have and what I know with others this
have and what I know with others this
have and what I know with others this being one example of it hopefully it is
being one example of it hopefully it is
being one example of it hopefully it is helpful to you in some way
helpful to you in some way
helpful to you in some way also by controlling what I can and
also by controlling what I can and
also by controlling what I can and accepting what I can and then finally by
accepting what I can and then finally by
accepting what I can and then finally by letting go you can’t change the past
letting go you can’t change the past
letting go you can’t change the past that all you can do is learn from it and
that all you can do is learn from it and
that all you can do is learn from it and change yourself Viktor Frankl who was a
change yourself Viktor Frankl who was a
change yourself Viktor Frankl who was a famous psychiatrist who survived the
famous psychiatrist who survived the
famous psychiatrist who survived the concentration camp said everything can
concentration camp said everything can
concentration camp said everything can be taken from a man but one thing the
be taken from a man but one thing the
be taken from a man but one thing the last of the human freedoms to choose
last of the human freedoms to choose
last of the human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
one’s attitude in any given set of
one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances in other words to choose
circumstances in other words to choose
circumstances in other words to choose one’s own way so how should you be
one’s own way so how should you be
one’s own way so how should you be changing your futures first by doing
changing your futures first by doing
changing your futures first by doing what you’re afraid to do second by
what you’re afraid to do second by
what you’re afraid to do second by making immediate change if this is the
making immediate change if this is the
making immediate change if this is the straight path ahead of you and if you
straight path ahead of you and if you
straight path ahead of you and if you make a change right now over time that
make a change right now over time that
make a change right now over time that will be a huge change if you wait until
will be a huge change if you wait until
will be a huge change if you wait until this time to make the change it will be
this time to make the change it will be
this time to make the change it will be a very small change and by engagement in
a very small change and by engagement in
a very small change and by engagement in that retirement I have nothing against
that retirement I have nothing against
that retirement I have nothing against retirement but what I do feel is the
retirement but what I do feel is the
retirement but what I do feel is the root word in retirement is tired and no
root word in retirement is tired and no
root word in retirement is tired and no one wants to be tired of their lives so
one wants to be tired of their lives so
one wants to be tired of their lives so continual engagement is critical to this
continual engagement is critical to this
continual engagement is critical to this process how do we make our futures as
process how do we make our futures as
process how do we make our futures as positive as possible we acknowledge that
positive as possible we acknowledge that
positive as possible we acknowledge that change is part of life
change is part of life
change is part of life we accept change in our emotions about
we accept change in our emotions about
we accept change in our emotions about it and we do the best we can to reframe
it and we do the best we can to reframe
it and we do the best we can to reframe this
this
this to reframe the situation to see the
to reframe the situation to see the
to reframe the situation to see the positive so how do I want to leave you
positive so how do I want to leave you
positive so how do I want to leave you well I’ll leave you with a suggestion /
well I’ll leave you with a suggestion /
well I’ll leave you with a suggestion / recommendation whether right now or
recommendation whether right now or
recommendation whether right now or after today think about something you
after today think about something you
after today think about something you want to change about your life big or
want to change about your life big or
want to change about your life big or small
small
small write it down put it where you will see
write it down put it where you will see
write it down put it where you will see it on a daily basis tell someone close
it on a daily basis tell someone close
it on a daily basis tell someone close to you to create accountability for it
to you to create accountability for it
to you to create accountability for it and put it in your calendar to review
and put it in your calendar to review
and put it in your calendar to review every year this will motivate you and if
every year this will motivate you and if
every year this will motivate you and if you continue to do it it will drive your
you continue to do it it will drive your
you continue to do it it will drive your future possible then lastly and probably
future possible then lastly and probably
future possible then lastly and probably most important I wish you a very happy
most important I wish you a very happy
most important I wish you a very happy future thank you
”
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