[Applause] for the past 15 years I’ve taught online
for the past 15 years I’ve taught online
for the past 15 years I’ve taught online classes to graduate students who work in
classes to graduate students who work in
classes to graduate students who work in Yellowstone Yosemite the Grand Canyon on
Yellowstone Yosemite the Grand Canyon on
Yellowstone Yosemite the Grand Canyon on the Big Island in Hawaii the Kenai
the Big Island in Hawaii the Kenai
the Big Island in Hawaii the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska and along the
Peninsula in Alaska and along the
Peninsula in Alaska and along the Florida coast they work in zoos Science
Florida coast they work in zoos Science
Florida coast they work in zoos Science Center’s and History Museum’s
Center’s and History Museum’s
Center’s and History Museum’s they work at all the cool places and
they work at all the cool places and
they work at all the cool places and they want their walks talks exhibits
they want their walks talks exhibits
they want their walks talks exhibits special events and gallery tours to
special events and gallery tours to
special events and gallery tours to expand your mind stir your heart and
expand your mind stir your heart and
expand your mind stir your heart and fire your imagination many of my
fire your imagination many of my
fire your imagination many of my students work at sites that straddle
students work at sites that straddle
students work at sites that straddle difficult history i define difficult
difficult history i define difficult
difficult history i define difficult history as something happened and we
history as something happened and we
history as something happened and we have different and competing notions
have different and competing notions
have different and competing notions about what it means i define places of
about what it means i define places of
about what it means i define places of different difficult history as sites
different difficult history as sites
different difficult history as sites where we learn about what happened to
where we learn about what happened to
where we learn about what happened to real people and confront events that we
real people and confront events that we
real people and confront events that we would rather avoid that make us
would rather avoid that make us
would rather avoid that make us uncomfortable and that nudges toward
uncomfortable and that nudges toward
uncomfortable and that nudges toward grief I mentioned that my students work
grief I mentioned that my students work
grief I mentioned that my students work at the coolest places doing the coolest
at the coolest places doing the coolest
at the coolest places doing the coolest things they study with me not because
things they study with me not because
things they study with me not because I’ve got it all figured out
I’ve got it all figured out
I’ve got it all figured out but because I hold out a compelling
but because I hold out a compelling
but because I hold out a compelling vision if you want to build a just and
vision if you want to build a just and
vision if you want to build a just and sustainable world let’s do it but first
sustainable world let’s do it but first
sustainable world let’s do it but first we have to learn to be conveners and
we have to learn to be conveners and
we have to learn to be conveners and facilitators we have to get good at
facilitators we have to get good at
facilitators we have to get good at having conversations about things that
having conversations about things that
having conversations about things that divide us and we have to take advantage
divide us and we have to take advantage
divide us and we have to take advantage of the places where we work and use them
of the places where we work and use them
of the places where we work and use them as catalysts to grieve heal and
as catalysts to grieve heal and
as catalysts to grieve heal and reconcile let me give you an example the
reconcile let me give you an example the
reconcile let me give you an example the events of the Vietnam War and our
events of the Vietnam War and our
events of the Vietnam War and our differing interpretation of the events
differing interpretation of the events
differing interpretation of the events divided us as a nation
divided us as a nation
divided us as a nation when the soldiers returned they faced a
when the soldiers returned they faced a
when the soldiers returned they faced a society that was ambivalent to their
society that was ambivalent to their
society that was ambivalent to their service and hostile to the fallout from
service and hostile to the fallout from
service and hostile to the fallout from the war when we decided to commemorate
the war when we decided to commemorate
the war when we decided to commemorate those who served and died even the
those who served and died even the
those who served and died even the design of the memorial was controversial
design of the memorial was controversial
design of the memorial was controversial edged in granite are the names of more
edged in granite are the names of more
edged in granite are the names of more than 55,000 American soldiers who died
than 55,000 American soldiers who died
than 55,000 American soldiers who died in a war that we lost what the memorial
in a war that we lost what the memorial
in a war that we lost what the memorial shows us is the power of place the
shows us is the power of place the
shows us is the power of place the memorial grounds are not the fields of
memorial grounds are not the fields of
memorial grounds are not the fields of Vietnam where the soldiers died but for
Vietnam where the soldiers died but for
Vietnam where the soldiers died but for those who remember the war those born
those who remember the war those born
those who remember the war those born after the war and those born tomorrow
after the war and those born tomorrow
after the war and those born tomorrow the memorial is a place to grieve
the memorial is a place to grieve
the memorial is a place to grieve difficult history and these places are
difficult history and these places are
difficult history and these places are so necessary in our society because
so necessary in our society because
so necessary in our society because frankly we suck at grief we’re good at
frankly we suck at grief we’re good at
frankly we suck at grief we’re good at responding to loss we hold candlelight
responding to loss we hold candlelight
responding to loss we hold candlelight vigils leave flowers staged protests and
vigils leave flowers staged protests and
vigils leave flowers staged protests and like Facebook posts but we tend to stop
like Facebook posts but we tend to stop
like Facebook posts but we tend to stop short in the grief process especially as
short in the grief process especially as
short in the grief process especially as it relates to societal loss and this is
it relates to societal loss and this is
it relates to societal loss and this is tragic because if we don’t grieve we
tragic because if we don’t grieve we
tragic because if we don’t grieve we can’t heal if we stop short we cannot
can’t heal if we stop short we cannot
can’t heal if we stop short we cannot get to reconciliation South Africa may
get to reconciliation South Africa may
get to reconciliation South Africa may be the best example of a country that’s
be the best example of a country that’s
be the best example of a country that’s gone through a grief process together
gone through a grief process together
gone through a grief process together following the breakdown of apartheid
following the breakdown of apartheid
following the breakdown of apartheid South Africa adopted a four-part
South Africa adopted a four-part
South Africa adopted a four-part truth-telling framework to foster
truth-telling framework to foster
truth-telling framework to foster understanding accountability and healing
understanding accountability and healing
understanding accountability and healing the first part of the truth-telling
the first part of the truth-telling
the first part of the truth-telling framework is evidence-based truth this
framework is evidence-based truth this
framework is evidence-based truth this requires us to piece together all the
requires us to piece together all the
requires us to piece together all the facts to figure out what happened the
facts to figure out what happened the
facts to figure out what happened the second part is personal truths this is
second part is personal truths this is
second part is personal truths this is where you share your experiences and
where you share your experiences and
where you share your experiences and listen to the experiences of others the
listen to the experiences of others the
listen to the experiences of others the third part
third part
third part is societal truth and this is where it
is societal truth and this is where it
is societal truth and this is where it gets messy because we have to hold all
gets messy because we have to hold all
gets messy because we have to hold all the different and competing points of
the different and competing points of
the different and competing points of view together which can and does create
view together which can and does create
view together which can and does create tension but by saying yes and to your
tension but by saying yes and to your
tension but by saying yes and to your truth and your truth and your truth
truth and your truth and your truth
truth and your truth and your truth individual narratives are woven together
individual narratives are woven together
individual narratives are woven together into group narrative truth and empathy
into group narrative truth and empathy
into group narrative truth and empathy emerges in the system the fourth part is
emerges in the system the fourth part is
emerges in the system the fourth part is reconciliatory truth this is where we
reconciliatory truth this is where we
reconciliatory truth this is where we restore the dignity to victims without
restore the dignity to victims without
restore the dignity to victims without dehumanizing perpetrators this is where
dehumanizing perpetrators this is where
dehumanizing perpetrators this is where we heal the divides and do everything we
we heal the divides and do everything we
we heal the divides and do everything we can to avoid repeating the mistakes of
can to avoid repeating the mistakes of
can to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past so what does the Vietnam
the past so what does the Vietnam
the past so what does the Vietnam Memorial get right the Memorial conveys
Memorial get right the Memorial conveys
Memorial get right the Memorial conveys evidence-based truth you see the name of
evidence-based truth you see the name of
evidence-based truth you see the name of every soldier who died it also conveys
every soldier who died it also conveys
every soldier who died it also conveys something of the enormity of the loss
something of the enormity of the loss
something of the enormity of the loss the memorial elicits personal truth Jim
the memorial elicits personal truth Jim
the memorial elicits personal truth Jim Gilliam is a Vietnam veteran who lives
Gilliam is a Vietnam veteran who lives
Gilliam is a Vietnam veteran who lives in Atlanta in an interview he said I
in Atlanta in an interview he said I
in Atlanta in an interview he said I look at it now and see how people have
look at it now and see how people have
look at it now and see how people have backed away from being antagonistic and
backed away from being antagonistic and
backed away from being antagonistic and disrespectful toward Vietnam veterans it
disrespectful toward Vietnam veterans it
disrespectful toward Vietnam veterans it took me years to go back to Vietnam and
took me years to go back to Vietnam and
took me years to go back to Vietnam and it took me years to go to the Vietnam
it took me years to go to the Vietnam
it took me years to go to the Vietnam Wall and find my friends names I just
Wall and find my friends names I just
Wall and find my friends names I just didn’t want to do it now I go to the
didn’t want to do it now I go to the
didn’t want to do it now I go to the wall every year the Vietnam Memorial
wall every year the Vietnam Memorial
wall every year the Vietnam Memorial helps us think about all the different
helps us think about all the different
helps us think about all the different stories that interact to form societal
stories that interact to form societal
stories that interact to form societal truth in 1998 I interviewed visitors to
truth in 1998 I interviewed visitors to
truth in 1998 I interviewed visitors to the National Mall I spoke with a woman
the National Mall I spoke with a woman
the National Mall I spoke with a woman from Alaska who had just attended an
from Alaska who had just attended an
from Alaska who had just attended an interpretive program at the Lincoln
interpretive program at the Lincoln
interpretive program at the Lincoln Memorial she said I came to DC to find
Memorial she said I came to DC to find
Memorial she said I came to DC to find my second cousin’s name on the wall it’s
my second cousin’s name on the wall it’s
my second cousin’s name on the wall it’s wonderful to live in a country that
wonderful to live in a country that
wonderful to live in a country that honors Lincoln
honors Lincoln
honors Lincoln and honors my second cousin but a
and honors my second cousin but a
and honors my second cousin but a memorial can only do so much and as a
memorial can only do so much and as a
memorial can only do so much and as a society we’re still working on what
society we’re still working on what
society we’re still working on what reconciliatory truth looks like in this
reconciliatory truth looks like in this
reconciliatory truth looks like in this case yes we have reconciled the fact
case yes we have reconciled the fact
case yes we have reconciled the fact that the war was a big mistake yes we
that the war was a big mistake yes we
that the war was a big mistake yes we have reconciled the fact that we treated
have reconciled the fact that we treated
have reconciled the fact that we treated the returning soldiers horribly and yes
the returning soldiers horribly and yes
the returning soldiers horribly and yes we have honored the sacrifice of more
we have honored the sacrifice of more
we have honored the sacrifice of more than 55,000 Americans who died but we
than 55,000 Americans who died but we
than 55,000 Americans who died but we have yet to reconcile that over all
have yet to reconcile that over all
have yet to reconcile that over all three to four million people lost their
three to four million people lost their
three to four million people lost their lives in the conflict and there are
lives in the conflict and there are
lives in the conflict and there are Vietnamese Americans who came to this
Vietnamese Americans who came to this
Vietnamese Americans who came to this country as refugees who feel that their
country as refugees who feel that their
country as refugees who feel that their experiences have been ignored and their
experiences have been ignored and their
experiences have been ignored and their voices have been silenced I have a
voices have been silenced I have a
voices have been silenced I have a passion for places of difficult history
passion for places of difficult history
passion for places of difficult history because I have felt their power on a
because I have felt their power on a
because I have felt their power on a personal level my own grief journey
personal level my own grief journey
personal level my own grief journey began on a weekend trip to the family
began on a weekend trip to the family
began on a weekend trip to the family farm when I buttoned up my four and a
farm when I buttoned up my four and a
farm when I buttoned up my four and a half year old daughter eyelas red trench
half year old daughter eyelas red trench
half year old daughter eyelas red trench coat center outside to play I didn’t
coat center outside to play I didn’t
coat center outside to play I didn’t realize that my husband Dean had sent
realize that my husband Dean had sent
realize that my husband Dean had sent her inside because she had been trying
her inside because she had been trying
her inside because she had been trying to go down to the other end of the
to go down to the other end of the
to go down to the other end of the shooting range
shooting range
shooting range I didn’t tell Dean that I sent her back
I didn’t tell Dean that I sent her back
I didn’t tell Dean that I sent her back out ila went and hid behind the target
out ila went and hid behind the target
out ila went and hid behind the target and Dean didn’t see her you can map the
and Dean didn’t see her you can map the
and Dean didn’t see her you can map the four part truth-telling framework on top
four part truth-telling framework on top
four part truth-telling framework on top of our grief fact the accident was 100%
of our grief fact the accident was 100%
of our grief fact the accident was 100% preventable but we don’t get a do-over
preventable but we don’t get a do-over
preventable but we don’t get a do-over our personal truth is a testimony to the
our personal truth is a testimony to the
our personal truth is a testimony to the power of unconditional love Dean did not
power of unconditional love Dean did not
power of unconditional love Dean did not blame me and I didn’t blame him and by
blame me and I didn’t blame him and by
blame me and I didn’t blame him and by the grace of God we are still together
we intersect we intersected societal
we intersect we intersected societal truth in so many ways some painful but
truth in so many ways some painful but
truth in so many ways some painful but one of the things that people said to us
one of the things that people said to us
one of the things that people said to us is that there is nothing worse than
is that there is nothing worse than
is that there is nothing worse than losing a child even in my grief I sense
losing a child even in my grief I sense
losing a child even in my grief I sense that that was not true
that that was not true
that that was not true we still had a home a family a community
we still had a home a family a community
we still had a home a family a community a nation we were not pawns of war
a nation we were not pawns of war
a nation we were not pawns of war refugees slaves or victims of genocide
refugees slaves or victims of genocide
refugees slaves or victims of genocide for people in these situations losing a
for people in these situations losing a
for people in these situations losing a child or even multiple family members
child or even multiple family members
child or even multiple family members maybe just one layer of the loss they
maybe just one layer of the loss they
maybe just one layer of the loss they have to endure I think we need to look
have to endure I think we need to look
have to endure I think we need to look through the lens of an expanded
through the lens of an expanded
through the lens of an expanded worldview and embrace a larger version
worldview and embrace a larger version
worldview and embrace a larger version of societal truth
by the way we still go to the family
by the way we still go to the family farm because we have found that our
farm because we have found that our
farm because we have found that our healing and reconciliation is tied to
healing and reconciliation is tied to
healing and reconciliation is tied to place and that it’s an ongoing process
place and that it’s an ongoing process
place and that it’s an ongoing process for us to stay open to grief now think
for us to stay open to grief now think
for us to stay open to grief now think about your own grief journey very likely
about your own grief journey very likely
about your own grief journey very likely there’s a place where a loss has touched
there’s a place where a loss has touched
there’s a place where a loss has touched your life deeply
your life deeply
your life deeply but responding to loss is not the same
but responding to loss is not the same
but responding to loss is not the same as following the grief journey all the
as following the grief journey all the
as following the grief journey all the way through now picture yourself in the
way through now picture yourself in the
way through now picture yourself in the context of the larger society my
context of the larger society my
context of the larger society my students and I talk about this all the
students and I talk about this all the
students and I talk about this all the time how can we engage audiences in
time how can we engage audiences in
time how can we engage audiences in difficult history at the societal level
difficult history at the societal level
difficult history at the societal level we keep coming back to the fact that
we keep coming back to the fact that
we keep coming back to the fact that evidence matters that personal truth is
evidence matters that personal truth is
evidence matters that personal truth is diverse and nuanced that societal truth
diverse and nuanced that societal truth
diverse and nuanced that societal truth is a weaving together of everyone’s
is a weaving together of everyone’s
is a weaving together of everyone’s stories and that we have to keep
stories and that we have to keep
stories and that we have to keep reconciliation firmly in our sights
reconciliation firmly in our sights
reconciliation firmly in our sights so now as citizens of this country I
so now as citizens of this country I
so now as citizens of this country I challenge you to engage difficult
challenge you to engage difficult
challenge you to engage difficult history the next time you go to Kansas
history the next time you go to Kansas
history the next time you go to Kansas go to Brown v Board of Education
go to Brown v Board of Education
go to Brown v Board of Education National Historic Site and think about
National Historic Site and think about
National Historic Site and think about the Supreme Court ruling that separate
the Supreme Court ruling that separate
the Supreme Court ruling that separate isn’t equal and consider what it means
isn’t equal and consider what it means
isn’t equal and consider what it means that we have highly segregated school
that we have highly segregated school
that we have highly segregated school districts today the next time you’re
districts today the next time you’re
districts today the next time you’re anywhere between Georgia and Oklahoma go
anywhere between Georgia and Oklahoma go
anywhere between Georgia and Oklahoma go to the Trail of Tears and learn about
to the Trail of Tears and learn about
to the Trail of Tears and learn about one chapter in the history of the
one chapter in the history of the
one chapter in the history of the removal of Native Americans from their
removal of Native Americans from their
removal of Native Americans from their homelands the next time you’re in New
homelands the next time you’re in New
homelands the next time you’re in New York go to the 9/11 memorial think about
York go to the 9/11 memorial think about
York go to the 9/11 memorial think about the loss of life but also imagine how
the loss of life but also imagine how
the loss of life but also imagine how your life might have changed on that day
your life might have changed on that day
your life might have changed on that day if you were Muslim American and if you
if you were Muslim American and if you
if you were Muslim American and if you can’t make any of those trips go to
can’t make any of those trips go to
can’t make any of those trips go to someplace local if you’re from st. Louis
someplace local if you’re from st. Louis
someplace local if you’re from st. Louis go downtown to the Old Courthouse where
go downtown to the Old Courthouse where
go downtown to the Old Courthouse where slaves were bought and sold on the steps
slaves were bought and sold on the steps
slaves were bought and sold on the steps go to places of difficult history
go to places of difficult history
go to places of difficult history whether the events happened 100 years
whether the events happened 100 years
whether the events happened 100 years ago or yesterday make connections
ago or yesterday make connections
ago or yesterday make connections between then and now trace the ripple
between then and now trace the ripple
between then and now trace the ripple effect of past events into the present
effect of past events into the present
effect of past events into the present overlay the truth-telling framework on
overlay the truth-telling framework on
overlay the truth-telling framework on your grief do this because only if we
your grief do this because only if we
your grief do this because only if we own societal grief can we heal and
own societal grief can we heal and
own societal grief can we heal and reconcile the difficult history of
reconcile the difficult history of
reconcile the difficult history of America thank you
”
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