good afternoon you know how when someone starts a self-improvement program
starts a self-improvement program
starts a self-improvement program they’re often encouraged to have a buddy
they’re often encouraged to have a buddy
they’re often encouraged to have a buddy to help them and keep them motivated let
to help them and keep them motivated let
to help them and keep them motivated let me give you an example if you want to go
me give you an example if you want to go
me give you an example if you want to go to the gym more often many articles will
to the gym more often many articles will
to the gym more often many articles will advise you to enlist a friend as a gym
advise you to enlist a friend as a gym
advise you to enlist a friend as a gym buddy someone who work out with you and
buddy someone who work out with you and
buddy someone who work out with you and make it fun or if you’re learning a new
make it fun or if you’re learning a new
make it fun or if you’re learning a new language you’re encouraged to have a
language you’re encouraged to have a
language you’re encouraged to have a language buddy someone who speaks that
language buddy someone who speaks that
language buddy someone who speaks that target language and can help you
target language and can help you
target language and can help you practice the things that you’re learning
practice the things that you’re learning
practice the things that you’re learning well over the past six years I’ve
well over the past six years I’ve
well over the past six years I’ve inadvertently started a self-improvement
inadvertently started a self-improvement
inadvertently started a self-improvement regimen for myself and I have two
regimen for myself and I have two
regimen for myself and I have two buddies who are helping me through it at
buddies who are helping me through it at
buddies who are helping me through it at the moment and the coolest thing is I
the moment and the coolest thing is I
the moment and the coolest thing is I made them myself
made them myself
made them myself yes my wife had a major major role to
yes my wife had a major major role to
yes my wife had a major major role to play in it as did divine intervention
play in it as did divine intervention
play in it as did divine intervention because the self-improvement program I’m
because the self-improvement program I’m
because the self-improvement program I’m talking about is what many of us would
talking about is what many of us would
talking about is what many of us would simply refer to as Parenthood I am the
simply refer to as Parenthood I am the
simply refer to as Parenthood I am the parent of two small children a boy and a
parent of two small children a boy and a
parent of two small children a boy and a girl over these past six years
girl over these past six years
girl over these past six years Parenthood has taught me several small
Parenthood has taught me several small
Parenthood has taught me several small and big lessons that I want to share
and big lessons that I want to share
and big lessons that I want to share with you today and I have to say that it
with you today and I have to say that it
with you today and I have to say that it has improved me although not always with
has improved me although not always with
has improved me although not always with my willingness and has made me a better
my willingness and has made me a better
my willingness and has made me a better person or so I believe
person or so I believe
person or so I believe but before I get down to that I need to
but before I get down to that I need to
but before I get down to that I need to make a few clear disclaimers the first
make a few clear disclaimers the first
make a few clear disclaimers the first thing is that what I’m going to say is
thing is that what I’m going to say is
thing is that what I’m going to say is based solely on my own personal
based solely on my own personal
based solely on my own personal experience I don’t claim to be an expert
experience I don’t claim to be an expert
experience I don’t claim to be an expert when it comes to being a parent I don’t
when it comes to being a parent I don’t
when it comes to being a parent I don’t even want to refer to us my wife and I
even want to refer to us my wife and I
even want to refer to us my wife and I in the plural because these are very
in the plural because these are very
in the plural because these are very much my own personal reflections on
much my own personal reflections on
much my own personal reflections on something that we’ve gone through
something that we’ve gone through
something that we’ve gone through together as a team over the past few
together as a team over the past few
together as a team over the past few years before I go to the second
years before I go to the second
years before I go to the second important the same where I want to show
important the same where I want to show
important the same where I want to show of hands how many people in the room are
of hands how many people in the room are
of hands how many people in the room are parents now there are cameras so if you
parents now there are cameras so if you
parents now there are cameras so if you have children that you don’t want anyone
have children that you don’t want anyone
have children that you don’t want anyone to know about keys don’t raise your hand
to know about keys don’t raise your hand
to know about keys don’t raise your hand okay so I was afraid of this we are a
okay so I was afraid of this we are a
okay so I was afraid of this we are a minority and why this is important is
minority and why this is important is
minority and why this is important is because in our global society too
because in our global society too
because in our global society too day we are revisiting this concept of
day we are revisiting this concept of
day we are revisiting this concept of family or the traditional belief that
family or the traditional belief that
family or the traditional belief that you have to be a parent at some point in
you have to be a parent at some point in
you have to be a parent at some point in your life it’s a cornerstone of your
your life it’s a cornerstone of your
your life it’s a cornerstone of your life experience I believe in a diversity
life experience I believe in a diversity
life experience I believe in a diversity of life philosophies so my talk today is
of life philosophies so my talk today is
of life philosophies so my talk today is purely about my own lessons as a parent
purely about my own lessons as a parent
purely about my own lessons as a parent I’m not here to advocate parenthood as a
I’m not here to advocate parenthood as a
I’m not here to advocate parenthood as a necessity for everyone in the room I’m
necessity for everyone in the room I’m
necessity for everyone in the room I’m not here to say let’s go forth and
not here to say let’s go forth and
not here to say let’s go forth and multiply
finally the final disclaimer of the day
finally the final disclaimer of the day if you ask any parent to talk about
if you ask any parent to talk about
if you ask any parent to talk about their children they can go on and on for
their children they can go on and on for
their children they can go on and on for hours I’m no different I love talking
hours I’m no different I love talking
hours I’m no different I love talking about my kids but today is not going to
about my kids but today is not going to
about my kids but today is not going to be about that I’m going to try and keep
be about that I’m going to try and keep
be about that I’m going to try and keep the stories and anecdotes about how cute
the stories and anecdotes about how cute
the stories and anecdotes about how cute and smart my children are to a minimum
and smart my children are to a minimum
and smart my children are to a minimum and talk about simple facts and small
and talk about simple facts and small
and talk about simple facts and small events so now that we’re done with the
events so now that we’re done with the
events so now that we’re done with the disclaimers let’s get right down into it
disclaimers let’s get right down into it
disclaimers let’s get right down into it six years ago I was a different person
six years ago I was a different person
six years ago I was a different person and all that changed irreversibly one
and all that changed irreversibly one
and all that changed irreversibly one late night in December when my first
late night in December when my first
late night in December when my first child was born and the first lesson that
child was born and the first lesson that
child was born and the first lesson that flex that parenthood has taught me is to
flex that parenthood has taught me is to
flex that parenthood has taught me is to be more flexible I used to be the kind
be more flexible I used to be the kind
be more flexible I used to be the kind of guy who would plan everything I’d
of guy who would plan everything I’d
of guy who would plan everything I’d plan my day down to a margin of a few
plan my day down to a margin of a few
plan my day down to a margin of a few minutes I’d plan evening activities
minutes I’d plan evening activities
minutes I’d plan evening activities weekends holidays everything but when
weekends holidays everything but when
weekends holidays everything but when you have two small children a new
you have two small children a new
you have two small children a new randomness comes into the equation that
randomness comes into the equation that
randomness comes into the equation that is very very difficult to approximate
is very very difficult to approximate
is very very difficult to approximate let me give you a small example my son
let me give you a small example my son
let me give you a small example my son started school a couple of months ago
started school a couple of months ago
started school a couple of months ago and we found out that we had to leave
and we found out that we had to leave
and we found out that we had to leave the house at 8:15 every morning in order
the house at 8:15 every morning in order
the house at 8:15 every morning in order to be at school on time so I figured
to be at school on time so I figured
to be at school on time so I figured okay we’ll wake up at 7:30 in the
okay we’ll wake up at 7:30 in the
okay we’ll wake up at 7:30 in the morning and forty-five minutes should be
morning and forty-five minutes should be
morning and forty-five minutes should be enough for him to wash up dress up have
enough for him to wash up dress up have
enough for him to wash up dress up have breakfast and in general be ready to
breakfast and in general be ready to
breakfast and in general be ready to leave but guess what my son wanted to
leave but guess what my son wanted to
leave but guess what my son wanted to have playtime before going to school in
have playtime before going to school in
have playtime before going to school in the morning
the morning
the morning angry dad solution number one rush him
angry dad solution number one rush him
angry dad solution number one rush him through his morning routine so you can
through his morning routine so you can
through his morning routine so you can squeeze out a few minutes at the end for
squeeze out a few minutes at the end for
squeeze out a few minutes at the end for him to play before we leave an angry dad
him to play before we leave an angry dad
him to play before we leave an angry dad solution number two say no no playtime
solution number two say no no playtime
solution number two say no no playtime before school you can play to your
before school you can play to your
before school you can play to your heart’s content
heart’s content
heart’s content when you come back from class in the
when you come back from class in the
when you come back from class in the afternoon flexible dad solution
afternoon flexible dad solution
afternoon flexible dad solution I started waking up my son 15 to 20
I started waking up my son 15 to 20
I started waking up my son 15 to 20 minutes earlier and let him go through
minutes earlier and let him go through
minutes earlier and let him go through his normal morning routine and get some
his normal morning routine and get some
his normal morning routine and get some time to play in the end it worked for me
time to play in the end it worked for me
time to play in the end it worked for me but it’s not always that easy in fact I
but it’s not always that easy in fact I
but it’s not always that easy in fact I used to be the kind of guy who would get
used to be the kind of guy who would get
used to be the kind of guy who would get very very angry and irritated if we were
very very angry and irritated if we were
very very angry and irritated if we were ever running late to get somewhere I
ever running late to get somewhere I
ever running late to get somewhere I still do to a certain extent but I’ve
still do to a certain extent but I’ve
still do to a certain extent but I’ve learned that the classic saying is true
learned that the classic saying is true
learned that the classic saying is true when something happens in that situation
when something happens in that situation
when something happens in that situation the only thing that is fully under your
the only thing that is fully under your
the only thing that is fully under your control is how you react to it so now
control is how you react to it so now
control is how you react to it so now when we are unavoidably being late to
when we are unavoidably being late to
when we are unavoidably being late to yet another event and when you’re the
yet another event and when you’re the
yet another event and when you’re the father of small children you have so
father of small children you have so
father of small children you have so many opportunities to be late to school
many opportunities to be late to school
many opportunities to be late to school late to karate late to art group late to
late to karate late to art group late to
late to karate late to art group late to theatre late to play dates birthdays and
theatre late to play dates birthdays and
theatre late to play dates birthdays and so on and so forth now when we’re
so on and so forth now when we’re
so on and so forth now when we’re unavoidably running late to be somewhere
unavoidably running late to be somewhere
unavoidably running late to be somewhere I ask myself the question how big is the
I ask myself the question how big is the
I ask myself the question how big is the negative impact going to be for us to be
negative impact going to be for us to be
negative impact going to be for us to be late to this birthday or play date and
late to this birthday or play date and
late to this birthday or play date and usually the answer is it’s not going to
usually the answer is it’s not going to
usually the answer is it’s not going to be very big so I try to not let it
be very big so I try to not let it
be very big so I try to not let it affect my mood and consequently not
affect my mood and consequently not
affect my mood and consequently not affect the fun that my family is going
affect the fun that my family is going
affect the fun that my family is going to have it’s not easy though it doesn’t
to have it’s not easy though it doesn’t
to have it’s not easy though it doesn’t always work for me either even to this
always work for me either even to this
always work for me either even to this day the second important lesson closely
day the second important lesson closely
day the second important lesson closely related to flexibility is patience I
related to flexibility is patience I
related to flexibility is patience I used to think that I was a very patient
used to think that I was a very patient
used to think that I was a very patient guy but I had no idea children have this
guy but I had no idea children have this
guy but I had no idea children have this way of bringing you to your breaking
way of bringing you to your breaking
way of bringing you to your breaking point when it comes to patience again
point when it comes to patience again
point when it comes to patience again and again and again it’s like they’re
and again and again it’s like they’re
and again and again it’s like they’re running experiments to try to figure out
running experiments to try to figure out
running experiments to try to figure out what they’re allowed to do and what
what they’re allowed to do and what
what they’re allowed to do and what they’re not allowed to do and every time
they’re not allowed to do and every time
they’re not allowed to do and every time you get angry or irritated at something
you get angry or irritated at something
you get angry or irritated at something that they’ve done you’re providing them
that they’ve done you’re providing them
that they’ve done you’re providing them with valuable data that they’re storing
with valuable data that they’re storing
with valuable data that they’re storing somewhere in those little brains of
somewhere in those little brains of
somewhere in those little brains of theirs I swear it’s like they’re
theirs I swear it’s like they’re
theirs I swear it’s like they’re collating the table or drawing a graph
collating the table or drawing a graph
collating the table or drawing a graph in their minds coming up with a schema
in their minds coming up with a schema
in their minds coming up with a schema that will somehow predict the behavior
that will somehow predict the behavior
that will somehow predict the behavior that will have the optimal fun to
that will have the optimal fun to
that will have the optimal fun to punishment ratio and you’d never guess
punishment ratio and you’d never guess
punishment ratio and you’d never guess they look so cute they look so small
they look so cute they look so small
they look so cute they look so small you’d never guess the complicated
you’d never guess the complicated
you’d never guess the complicated statistical analysis and mathematical
statistical analysis and mathematical
statistical analysis and mathematical prediction that is going on in those
prediction that is going on in those
prediction that is going on in those little brains
little brains
little brains but it’s true and I’ve learned that
but it’s true and I’ve learned that
but it’s true and I’ve learned that patience is a bit like a muscle the more
patience is a bit like a muscle the more
patience is a bit like a muscle the more you use it the better you get at it and
you use it the better you get at it and
you use it the better you get at it and remember the gym buddy analogy I use
remember the gym buddy analogy I use
remember the gym buddy analogy I use little children are more like gym
little children are more like gym
little children are more like gym coaches in this sense the ones that want
coaches in this sense the ones that want
coaches in this sense the ones that want you to lift heavier weights put your
you to lift heavier weights put your
you to lift heavier weights put your back into it let’s try something harder
back into it let’s try something harder
back into it let’s try something harder come on can you do it will this break
come on can you do it will this break
come on can you do it will this break you when it comes to testing patience
you when it comes to testing patience
you when it comes to testing patience that’s what they are they’re not gym
that’s what they are they’re not gym
that’s what they are they’re not gym buddies they’re gym coaches but I’ve
buddies they’re gym coaches but I’ve
buddies they’re gym coaches but I’ve learned that humor is a good side kick
learned that humor is a good side kick
learned that humor is a good side kick for patients to have so sometimes when
for patients to have so sometimes when
for patients to have so sometimes when we’re on long road trips and my son
we’re on long road trips and my son
we’re on long road trips and my son keeps asking are we there yet are we
keeps asking are we there yet are we
keeps asking are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet
there yet are we there yet
there yet are we there yet the best strategy I have is to preempt
the best strategy I have is to preempt
the best strategy I have is to preempt him with a humorous response or to
him with a humorous response or to
him with a humorous response or to deliberately miss here what he’s saying
deliberately miss here what he’s saying
deliberately miss here what he’s saying are we fair yet do do we care yet trust
are we fair yet do do we care yet trust
are we fair yet do do we care yet trust me
me
me driving Kate’s a little bit crazy like
driving Kate’s a little bit crazy like
driving Kate’s a little bit crazy like this once in a while can be a lot of fun
this once in a while can be a lot of fun
this once in a while can be a lot of fun the next interesting experience I’ve had
the next interesting experience I’ve had
the next interesting experience I’ve had as a parent came a few months ago and
as a parent came a few months ago and
as a parent came a few months ago and taught me about how our children
taught me about how our children
taught me about how our children interact with their environments and
interact with their environments and
interact with their environments and with their surroundings and how they’re
with their surroundings and how they’re
with their surroundings and how they’re influenced by them sometimes without
influenced by them sometimes without
influenced by them sometimes without even us noticing my son graduated from
even us noticing my son graduated from
even us noticing my son graduated from kindergarten and we decided to prepare a
kindergarten and we decided to prepare a
kindergarten and we decided to prepare a short video featuring all the children
short video featuring all the children
short video featuring all the children in his group we’re going to go to school
in his group we’re going to go to school
in his group we’re going to go to school after the summer and in this video we
after the summer and in this video we
after the summer and in this video we asked all these children the one
asked all these children the one
asked all these children the one question that occurs and recurs in every
question that occurs and recurs in every
question that occurs and recurs in every childhood we ask them what do you want
childhood we ask them what do you want
childhood we ask them what do you want to be when you grow up and I noticed
to be when you grow up and I noticed
to be when you grow up and I noticed something slightly disturbing the boy
something slightly disturbing the boy
something slightly disturbing the boy said things like I want to be a fireman
said things like I want to be a fireman
said things like I want to be a fireman I want to be a policeman I want to be
I want to be a policeman I want to be
I want to be a policeman I want to be President one girl said I want to be a
President one girl said I want to be a
President one girl said I want to be a fairy another girl said I want to be a
fairy another girl said I want to be a
fairy another girl said I want to be a kindergarten teacher another girl said I
kindergarten teacher another girl said I
kindergarten teacher another girl said I want to be a mom the worst part is I
want to be a mom the worst part is I
want to be a mom the worst part is I would not have noticed this difference
would not have noticed this difference
would not have noticed this difference if I were not also the father of a young
if I were not also the father of a young
if I were not also the father of a young girl so I caught myself asking the
girl so I caught myself asking the
girl so I caught myself asking the question what if a few years later my
question what if a few years later my
question what if a few years later my daughter graduates from kindergarten and
daughter graduates from kindergarten and
daughter graduates from kindergarten and has this preset notion in her mind that
has this preset notion in her mind that
has this preset notion in her mind that she can’t be in the police or she can’t
she can’t be in the police or she can’t
she can’t be in the police or she can’t be President not considering those
be President not considering those
be President not considering those options
options
options and let’s be clear I don’t blame the
and let’s be clear I don’t blame the
and let’s be clear I don’t blame the kindergarten at all these are small
kindergarten at all these are small
kindergarten at all these are small messages that our children get from
messages that our children get from
messages that our children get from society they see things they hear things
society they see things they hear things
society they see things they hear things and though that’s what leads to these
and though that’s what leads to these
and though that’s what leads to these stereotypes in their minds and I’ve
stereotypes in their minds and I’ve
stereotypes in their minds and I’ve realized that as the father of both a
realized that as the father of both a
realized that as the father of both a boy and a girl I need to do a better job
boy and a girl I need to do a better job
boy and a girl I need to do a better job of compensating for some of these
of compensating for some of these
of compensating for some of these information gaps in society about gender
information gaps in society about gender
information gaps in society about gender roles but even for those of us who are
roles but even for those of us who are
roles but even for those of us who are parents of only boys we need to realize
parents of only boys we need to realize
parents of only boys we need to realize that there are stereotypes out there
that there are stereotypes out there
that there are stereotypes out there that harm the well-being of our male
that harm the well-being of our male
that harm the well-being of our male children for example I always personally
children for example I always personally
children for example I always personally cringe when someone comes up to my
cringe when someone comes up to my
cringe when someone comes up to my five-year-old boy and says why are you
five-year-old boy and says why are you
five-year-old boy and says why are you crying are you a girl
crying are you a girl
crying are you a girl no he’s a boy but anatomically and
no he’s a boy but anatomically and
no he’s a boy but anatomically and physiologically boys and girls have all
physiologically boys and girls have all
physiologically boys and girls have all the same glands and ducts that you need
the same glands and ducts that you need
the same glands and ducts that you need to cry they’re built the same way for
to cry they’re built the same way for
to cry they’re built the same way for that particular function no matter how
that particular function no matter how
that particular function no matter how many times you tell your male children
many times you tell your male children
many times you tell your male children that they’re not supposed to cry in
that they’re not supposed to cry in
that they’re not supposed to cry in society the reality is that sometimes
society the reality is that sometimes
society the reality is that sometimes they really need to so if you want to
they really need to so if you want to
they really need to so if you want to encourage them to be open about their
encourage them to be open about their
encourage them to be open about their feelings you have to make it count
feelings you have to make it count
feelings you have to make it count in fact I can’t let this opportunity go
in fact I can’t let this opportunity go
in fact I can’t let this opportunity go by without doing just that I’m going to
by without doing just that I’m going to
by without doing just that I’m going to look straight into the camera for just a
look straight into the camera for just a
look straight into the camera for just a second this is a special message to you
second this is a special message to you
second this is a special message to you Michael if you really really want to cry
Michael if you really really want to cry
Michael if you really really want to cry and people thought you’re not supposed
and people thought you’re not supposed
and people thought you’re not supposed to don’t listen to them if you feel like
to don’t listen to them if you feel like
to don’t listen to them if you feel like crying you can cry
he’s a bit too young to be here with us
he’s a bit too young to be here with us today but who knows he might watch this
today but who knows he might watch this
today but who knows he might watch this as a video a few years from now so why
as a video a few years from now so why
as a video a few years from now so why missed the chance
missed the chance
missed the chance coming to the next point which is
coming to the next point which is
coming to the next point which is closely related to anatomy and
closely related to anatomy and
closely related to anatomy and physiology my original educational
physiology my original educational
physiology my original educational background is medicine I graduated from
background is medicine I graduated from
background is medicine I graduated from this very University more than 10 years
this very University more than 10 years
this very University more than 10 years ago viewed from that lens parenthood has
ago viewed from that lens parenthood has
ago viewed from that lens parenthood has been a fascinating experience because
been a fascinating experience because
been a fascinating experience because you get to see a whole new person take
you get to see a whole new person take
you get to see a whole new person take shape before your very eyes someone who
shape before your very eyes someone who
shape before your very eyes someone who goes from dad a dad to saying a few
goes from dad a dad to saying a few
goes from dad a dad to saying a few words to say in complete sentences from
words to say in complete sentences from
words to say in complete sentences from crawling to walking to running to
crawling to walking to running to
crawling to walking to running to jumping this transformation fills me as
jumping this transformation fills me as
jumping this transformation fills me as a parent with the appreciation for the
a parent with the appreciation for the
a parent with the appreciation for the wonders of nature and a sense of
wonders of nature and a sense of
wonders of nature and a sense of overarching gratitude that makes small
overarching gratitude that makes small
overarching gratitude that makes small everyday problems seem like
everyday problems seem like
everyday problems seem like insignificant specks of dust on a
insignificant specks of dust on a
insignificant specks of dust on a wonderful painting by a masterful artist
wonderful painting by a masterful artist
wonderful painting by a masterful artist and with the supreme appreciation comes
and with the supreme appreciation comes
and with the supreme appreciation comes an understanding of other things as well
an understanding of other things as well
an understanding of other things as well I’m sure all of us in this room love our
I’m sure all of us in this room love our
I’m sure all of us in this room love our parents to a certain extent but not all
parents to a certain extent but not all
parents to a certain extent but not all of us can fully comprehend what they
of us can fully comprehend what they
of us can fully comprehend what they have been through as human beings if we
have been through as human beings if we
have been through as human beings if we haven’t experienced Parenthood ourselves
haven’t experienced Parenthood ourselves
haven’t experienced Parenthood ourselves a few small examples from everyday life
a few small examples from everyday life
a few small examples from everyday life I never knew how exhausting it could be
I never knew how exhausting it could be
I never knew how exhausting it could be to have a newborn child that cries
to have a newborn child that cries
to have a newborn child that cries several times in the night and wakes you
several times in the night and wakes you
several times in the night and wakes you up until I had to go through that with
up until I had to go through that with
up until I had to go through that with my wife with our newborn children I
my wife with our newborn children I
my wife with our newborn children I never knew how difficult it would be
never knew how difficult it would be
never knew how difficult it would be when you have a small child and you send
when you have a small child and you send
when you have a small child and you send him to a summer camp away from home for
him to a summer camp away from home for
him to a summer camp away from home for a few nights and every evening you have
a few nights and every evening you have
a few nights and every evening you have this temptation to call and see how he’s
this temptation to call and see how he’s
this temptation to call and see how he’s doing
doing
doing but you resist that urge because that’s
but you resist that urge because that’s
but you resist that urge because that’s what’s good for the child as well these
what’s good for the child as well these
what’s good for the child as well these are difficult things that our parents
are difficult things that our parents
are difficult things that our parents have been through and because today is
have been through and because today is
have been through and because today is also my dad’s birthday I want to use the
also my dad’s birthday I want to use the
also my dad’s birthday I want to use the opportunity and say thank you to my
opportunity and say thank you to my
opportunity and say thank you to my parents
parents
parents and happy birthday to my father
the next small lesson I’ve learned from
the next small lesson I’ve learned from Parenthood is linked to this
Parenthood is linked to this
Parenthood is linked to this controversial idea we have today this
controversial idea we have today this
controversial idea we have today this conspiracy theory that we’re constantly
conspiracy theory that we’re constantly
conspiracy theory that we’re constantly being watched they say tape up your
being watched they say tape up your
being watched they say tape up your laptop cameras well big business has
laptop cameras well big business has
laptop cameras well big business has access to your living room through your
access to your living room through your
access to your living room through your smart television be careful what you say
smart television be careful what you say
smart television be careful what you say on the phone the government is listening
on the phone the government is listening
on the phone the government is listening to your conversation
to your conversation
to your conversation none of these agencies has anything when
none of these agencies has anything when
none of these agencies has anything when it comes to the observation and
it comes to the observation and
it comes to the observation and listening skills of little children they
listening skills of little children they
listening skills of little children they watch you all the time they pick up
watch you all the time they pick up
watch you all the time they pick up little habits from you that you didn’t
little habits from you that you didn’t
little habits from you that you didn’t even know you had they see you doing
even know you had they see you doing
even know you had they see you doing something they’re not supposed to do and
something they’re not supposed to do and
something they’re not supposed to do and they use it against you in a skillful
they use it against you in a skillful
they use it against you in a skillful move that would have the most master
move that would have the most master
move that would have the most master full of chess players holding their
full of chess players holding their
full of chess players holding their heads in defeat so I’ve learned that
heads in defeat so I’ve learned that
heads in defeat so I’ve learned that watching myself observing myself from
watching myself observing myself from
watching myself observing myself from the side like my children do can be
the side like my children do can be
the side like my children do can be helpful to improve in small ways like
helpful to improve in small ways like
helpful to improve in small ways like for example when I see my son’s toys
for example when I see my son’s toys
for example when I see my son’s toys untidily lying on the floor I’m
untidily lying on the floor I’m
untidily lying on the floor I’m sometimes visually reminded of my own
sometimes visually reminded of my own
sometimes visually reminded of my own work desk and what it looks like from
work desk and what it looks like from
work desk and what it looks like from time to time so it’s no wonder that
time to time so it’s no wonder that
time to time so it’s no wonder that tidiness is not a big priority for my
tidiness is not a big priority for my
tidiness is not a big priority for my son next lesson before I was married I
son next lesson before I was married I
son next lesson before I was married I used to be subscribed to various
used to be subscribed to various
used to be subscribed to various newsletters and one of them would send
newsletters and one of them would send
newsletters and one of them would send me a random interesting fact every day
me a random interesting fact every day
me a random interesting fact every day something like did you know that movie
something like did you know that movie
something like did you know that movie trailers used to be played after the
trailers used to be played after the
trailers used to be played after the main feature in a cinema that’s why
main feature in a cinema that’s why
main feature in a cinema that’s why they’re called trailers they weren’t
they’re called trailers they weren’t
they’re called trailers they weren’t played before like they are today now
played before like they are today now
played before like they are today now let me stop this talk for a second for
let me stop this talk for a second for
let me stop this talk for a second for those of you who did not raise your
those of you who did not raise your
those of you who did not raise your hands about being parents and who don’t
hands about being parents and who don’t
hands about being parents and who don’t care about Parenthood insights and
care about Parenthood insights and
care about Parenthood insights and lessons learned I do acknowledge that
lessons learned I do acknowledge that
lessons learned I do acknowledge that this is going to be your main takeaway
this is going to be your main takeaway
this is going to be your main takeaway from this talk movie trailers used to be
from this talk movie trailers used to be
from this talk movie trailers used to be played after the main feature in a
played after the main feature in a
played after the main feature in a cinema not before but back to Parenthood
cinema not before but back to Parenthood
cinema not before but back to Parenthood it’s like being subscribed to this
it’s like being subscribed to this
it’s like being subscribed to this newsletter when you have small children
newsletter when you have small children
newsletter when you have small children but you only get the questions you don’t
but you only get the questions you don’t
but you only get the questions you don’t get the answers you have to get the
get the answers you have to get the
get the answers you have to get the answers yourself small children
answers yourself small children
answers yourself small children constantly ask questions about all sorts
constantly ask questions about all sorts
constantly ask questions about all sorts of random things and we’re lucky today
of random things and we’re lucky today
of random things and we’re lucky today we have the internet we can quickly
we have the internet we can quickly
we have the internet we can quickly search for the answers and come up with
search for the answers and come up with
search for the answers and come up with something that would satisfy them but
something that would satisfy them but
something that would satisfy them but I’ve also been fast
I’ve also been fast
I’ve also been fast needed by how these questions develop in
needed by how these questions develop in
needed by how these questions develop in my children’s minds and I’ve learned
my children’s minds and I’ve learned
my children’s minds and I’ve learned some very interesting things
some very interesting things
some very interesting things apparently research has shown that when
apparently research has shown that when
apparently research has shown that when a small child asks the question at home
a small child asks the question at home
a small child asks the question at home and gets a reply it encourages him or
and gets a reply it encourages him or
and gets a reply it encourages him or her to ask more questions it builds up
her to ask more questions it builds up
her to ask more questions it builds up that sense of curiosity when researchers
that sense of curiosity when researchers
that sense of curiosity when researchers have found that when children go to
have found that when children go to
have found that when children go to school those from the so-called curious
school those from the so-called curious
school those from the so-called curious households where they have asked
households where they have asked
households where they have asked questions and received replies have more
questions and received replies have more
questions and received replies have more knowledge than those who come from
knowledge than those who come from
knowledge than those who come from average households but that’s not all
average households but that’s not all
average households but that’s not all they also have a greater love for
they also have a greater love for
they also have a greater love for learning so researchers have called this
learning so researchers have called this
learning so researchers have called this a sort of rich getting richer phenomenon
a sort of rich getting richer phenomenon
a sort of rich getting richer phenomenon they come to school with more knowledge
they come to school with more knowledge
they come to school with more knowledge and they also gain more knowledge more
and they also gain more knowledge more
and they also gain more knowledge more quickly than their peers because they
quickly than their peers because they
quickly than their peers because they love to learn more so if you have
love to learn more so if you have
love to learn more so if you have children or when you have children when
children or when you have children when
children or when you have children when they start asking you all sorts of
they start asking you all sorts of
they start asking you all sorts of random things be patient and try to
random things be patient and try to
random things be patient and try to answer as much as you can
the final lesson about Parenthood that I
the final lesson about Parenthood that I want to share with you today is that a
want to share with you today is that a
want to share with you today is that a reality I don’t know anything about
reality I don’t know anything about
reality I don’t know anything about Parenthood each stage of development
Parenthood each stage of development
Parenthood each stage of development brings new information in new experience
brings new information in new experience
brings new information in new experience each child is different than the
each child is different than the
each child is different than the previous one so I’m only just starting
previous one so I’m only just starting
previous one so I’m only just starting six years is really nothing but this
six years is really nothing but this
six years is really nothing but this feeling of having someone out there whom
feeling of having someone out there whom
feeling of having someone out there whom you loved unconditionally in the truest
you loved unconditionally in the truest
you loved unconditionally in the truest sense of the word whom you love more
sense of the word whom you love more
sense of the word whom you love more than you could ever really love yourself
than you could ever really love yourself
than you could ever really love yourself is very very powerful and very very
is very very powerful and very very
is very very powerful and very very inspiring
inspiring
inspiring long story short being a parent has made
long story short being a parent has made
long story short being a parent has made me a better person being a parent is
me a better person being a parent is
me a better person being a parent is like having the job where you have a
like having the job where you have a
like having the job where you have a very very demanding boss or several very
very very demanding boss or several very
very very demanding boss or several very demanding bosses and constant constant
demanding bosses and constant constant
demanding bosses and constant constant on the job training but the retirement
on the job training but the retirement
on the job training but the retirement package of that job is amazing I can’t
package of that job is amazing I can’t
package of that job is amazing I can’t wait to see the kinds of adults my
wait to see the kinds of adults my
wait to see the kinds of adults my children are going to become someday and
children are going to become someday and
children are going to become someday and then maybe I’ll start a new job I’ll be
then maybe I’ll start a new job I’ll be
then maybe I’ll start a new job I’ll be a grandparent thank you
a grandparent thank you
a grandparent thank you [Applause]
”
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