I’m sitting across from a woman she’s holding a baby she’s beaming that type
holding a baby she’s beaming that type
holding a baby she’s beaming that type of joy that’s infectious and I have to
of joy that’s infectious and I have to
of joy that’s infectious and I have to smile too it’s her baby and today she
smile too it’s her baby and today she
smile too it’s her baby and today she can finally hold him
can finally hold him
can finally hold him she wears khaki pants and a crisp white
she wears khaki pants and a crisp white
she wears khaki pants and a crisp white t-shirt
t-shirt
t-shirt she’s an inmate in a federal prison camp
she’s an inmate in a federal prison camp
she’s an inmate in a federal prison camp her parents have brought her baby for a
her parents have brought her baby for a
her parents have brought her baby for a visit her son only one week ago she’d
visit her son only one week ago she’d
visit her son only one week ago she’d given birth to shackled to the bed her
given birth to shackled to the bed her
given birth to shackled to the bed her prison guard in the room the minute her
prison guard in the room the minute her
prison guard in the room the minute her son was born he was immediately taken
son was born he was immediately taken
son was born he was immediately taken away a few hours later from across the
away a few hours later from across the
away a few hours later from across the room I hear a little girl scream as she
room I hear a little girl scream as she
room I hear a little girl scream as she reaches for her mother who has to leave
reaches for her mother who has to leave
reaches for her mother who has to leave and I look away I can’t stand to hear
and I look away I can’t stand to hear
and I look away I can’t stand to hear her cry if I don’t look away I’m afraid
her cry if I don’t look away I’m afraid
her cry if I don’t look away I’m afraid I’m going to cry and I don’t want to cry
I’m going to cry and I don’t want to cry
I’m going to cry and I don’t want to cry because inmates don’t cry in prison my
because inmates don’t cry in prison my
because inmates don’t cry in prison my number is eight seven eight three six
number is eight seven eight three six
number is eight seven eight three six one nine eight growing up on a farm in
one nine eight growing up on a farm in
one nine eight growing up on a farm in Ohio captain on my cheerleading squad an
Ohio captain on my cheerleading squad an
Ohio captain on my cheerleading squad an honor roll student I never could have
honor roll student I never could have
honor roll student I never could have imagined I’d end up here in federal
imagined I’d end up here in federal
imagined I’d end up here in federal prison camp Alderson you see I feel
prison camp Alderson you see I feel
prison camp Alderson you see I feel proud when I’m accepted into the high
proud when I’m accepted into the high
proud when I’m accepted into the high state dance Department I go to college I
state dance Department I go to college I
state dance Department I go to college I joined a sorority quickly my days are
joined a sorority quickly my days are
joined a sorority quickly my days are filled with sweat and hard work dance
filled with sweat and hard work dance
filled with sweat and hard work dance class during the day we rehearse all at
class during the day we rehearse all at
class during the day we rehearse all at night bloody split toes sore muscles the
night bloody split toes sore muscles the
night bloody split toes sore muscles the smell of tiger balm many nights I’m too
smell of tiger balm many nights I’m too
smell of tiger balm many nights I’m too tired to take my clothes off so I fall
tired to take my clothes off so I fall
tired to take my clothes off so I fall asleep in my leotard and tights still
asleep in my leotard and tights still
asleep in my leotard and tights still damn from rehearsal after three years
damn from rehearsal after three years
damn from rehearsal after three years when I make the Ohio State dance company
when I make the Ohio State dance company
when I make the Ohio State dance company I know I’ve found my calling after
I know I’ve found my calling after
I know I’ve found my calling after graduation I moved to Chicago where
graduation I moved to Chicago where
graduation I moved to Chicago where every Dan I heard dancing and
every Dan I heard dancing and
every Dan I heard dancing and choreographing and for the next five
choreographing and for the next five
choreographing and for the next five years I work a full-time job as I dance
years I work a full-time job as I dance
years I work a full-time job as I dance and perform at night I don’t care my
and perform at night I don’t care my
and perform at night I don’t care my dancing career doesn’t make any money I
dancing career doesn’t make any money I
dancing career doesn’t make any money I love to dance
love to dance
love to dance see life was
see life was
see life was good and I was happy when I was
good and I was happy when I was
good and I was happy when I was introduced to a man the funny thing is I
introduced to a man the funny thing is I
introduced to a man the funny thing is I almost didn’t call him back but I did
almost didn’t call him back but I did
almost didn’t call him back but I did and that one choice changed my life
and that one choice changed my life
and that one choice changed my life forever because he whisked me away in
forever because he whisked me away in
forever because he whisked me away in expensive vacations bought me designer
expensive vacations bought me designer
expensive vacations bought me designer clothes took me to fancy restaurants I
clothes took me to fancy restaurants I
clothes took me to fancy restaurants I was hooked after a few months he told me
was hooked after a few months he told me
was hooked after a few months he told me where most of his money came from he was
where most of his money came from he was
where most of his money came from he was running a marijuana trafficking
running a marijuana trafficking
running a marijuana trafficking operation traffic in Mexican weed from
operation traffic in Mexican weed from
operation traffic in Mexican weed from Tucson to Detroit and it didn’t take
Tucson to Detroit and it didn’t take
Tucson to Detroit and it didn’t take long until I got involved
long until I got involved
long until I got involved till I began driving marijuana for eight
till I began driving marijuana for eight
till I began driving marijuana for eight years we transported thousands of pounds
years we transported thousands of pounds
years we transported thousands of pounds of pot which generated hundreds of
of pot which generated hundreds of
of pot which generated hundreds of thousands of dollars we need to find
thousands of dollars we need to find
thousands of dollars we need to find restaurants traveled the world I stored
restaurants traveled the world I stored
restaurants traveled the world I stored shoeboxes full of cash under my bed I
shoeboxes full of cash under my bed I
shoeboxes full of cash under my bed I mean I’m not gonna lie life was pretty
mean I’m not gonna lie life was pretty
mean I’m not gonna lie life was pretty good for a while we felt invincible then
good for a while we felt invincible then
good for a while we felt invincible then one of the Detroit guys got arrested
one of the Detroit guys got arrested
one of the Detroit guys got arrested like it always happens three months
like it always happens three months
like it always happens three months later I was arrested I’ll never forget
later I was arrested I’ll never forget
later I was arrested I’ll never forget the feel of the agents hands when she
the feel of the agents hands when she
the feel of the agents hands when she takes me into the other room Pat’s my
takes me into the other room Pat’s my
takes me into the other room Pat’s my body up and down and I get goose bumps
body up and down and I get goose bumps
body up and down and I get goose bumps and I’ll never forget the first time I
and I’ll never forget the first time I
and I’ll never forget the first time I was handcuffed and that feel of cold
was handcuffed and that feel of cold
was handcuffed and that feel of cold metal too tight around my wrists the 17
metal too tight around my wrists the 17
metal too tight around my wrists the 17 months I spent in prison changed me
months I spent in prison changed me
months I spent in prison changed me forever inside prison was such a
forever inside prison was such a
forever inside prison was such a different world suddenly everything and
different world suddenly everything and
different world suddenly everything and everyone I loved was outside and I was
everyone I loved was outside and I was
everyone I loved was outside and I was inside not only was I incarcerated but
inside not only was I incarcerated but
inside not only was I incarcerated but for the first time in my life I was a
for the first time in my life I was a
for the first time in my life I was a minority I felt like Alice in Wonderland
minority I felt like Alice in Wonderland
minority I felt like Alice in Wonderland and I’d dropped down the rabbit hole
and I’d dropped down the rabbit hole
and I’d dropped down the rabbit hole we ate expired food got dizzy spells
we ate expired food got dizzy spells
we ate expired food got dizzy spells from lack of protein our periods flowed
from lack of protein our periods flowed
from lack of protein our periods flowed for months or stay plugged up and didn’t
for months or stay plugged up and didn’t
for months or stay plugged up and didn’t flow at all
flow at all
flow at all we got mysterious rashes
we got mysterious rashes
we got mysterious rashes staph infections our hair fell out when
staph infections our hair fell out when
staph infections our hair fell out when women committed suicide another woman
women committed suicide another woman
women committed suicide another woman tried to escape and one woman died in
tried to escape and one woman died in
tried to escape and one woman died in her cube I love that happened in my
her cube I love that happened in my
her cube I love that happened in my first year in prison I was horrified
first year in prison I was horrified
first year in prison I was horrified that the large number of women locked up
that the large number of women locked up
that the large number of women locked up on lengthy nonviolent mandatory minimum
on lengthy nonviolent mandatory minimum
on lengthy nonviolent mandatory minimum drug sentences mostly mothers sometimes
drug sentences mostly mothers sometimes
drug sentences mostly mothers sometimes leaving three poor children behind I
leaving three poor children behind I
leaving three poor children behind I watched as the women tried to mother
watched as the women tried to mother
watched as the women tried to mother from prison
from prison
from prison try resolving conflict let alone having
try resolving conflict let alone having
try resolving conflict let alone having a conversation over a 15-minute phone
a conversation over a 15-minute phone
a conversation over a 15-minute phone call and then it cuts off it’s not
call and then it cuts off it’s not
call and then it cuts off it’s not possible we’re having only 300 minutes a
possible we’re having only 300 minutes a
possible we’re having only 300 minutes a month to talk to your children on the
month to talk to your children on the
month to talk to your children on the phone that is if you have the money to
phone that is if you have the money to
phone that is if you have the money to pay for it I became deeply concerned
pay for it I became deeply concerned
pay for it I became deeply concerned about the thousands of children whose
about the thousands of children whose
about the thousands of children whose mothers were locked up what was going to
mothers were locked up what was going to
mothers were locked up what was going to happen to them what was going to happen
happen to them what was going to happen
happen to them what was going to happen to their children a future youth I
to their children a future youth I
to their children a future youth I promised myself when I was released I
promised myself when I was released I
promised myself when I was released I would do something to help change the
would do something to help change the
would do something to help change the lives of women who were incarcerated
lives of women who were incarcerated
lives of women who were incarcerated when I was released I had nothing no
when I was released I had nothing no
when I was released I had nothing no home no job no car no money it took me a
home no job no car no money it took me a
home no job no car no money it took me a few years to get on my feet but I didn’t
few years to get on my feet but I didn’t
few years to get on my feet but I didn’t forget about my promise in 2009 I began
forget about my promise in 2009 I began
forget about my promise in 2009 I began working with women going into prison and
working with women going into prison and
working with women going into prison and their families in 2012 my memoir
their families in 2012 my memoir
their families in 2012 my memoir trafficking the good life was published
trafficking the good life was published
trafficking the good life was published in 2013 I began speaking to kids in
in 2013 I began speaking to kids in
in 2013 I began speaking to kids in schools about making good choices and in
schools about making good choices and in
schools about making good choices and in 2014 I co-founded rise to empower a
2014 I co-founded rise to empower a
2014 I co-founded rise to empower a nonprofit that empowers teen girls and
nonprofit that empowers teen girls and
nonprofit that empowers teen girls and women to make positive good choices
women to make positive good choices
women to make positive good choices unlike the ones I’ve made during the
unlike the ones I’ve made during the
unlike the ones I’ve made during the last two years my partner and I have
last two years my partner and I have
last two years my partner and I have worked with teen moms homeless teens and
worked with teen moms homeless teens and
worked with teen moms homeless teens and youth with incarcerated parents we teach
youth with incarcerated parents we teach
youth with incarcerated parents we teach the girls that they hold the key to
the girls that they hold the key to
the girls that they hold the key to creating the magic in their lives
creating the magic in their lives
creating the magic in their lives and no one else is responsible that they
and no one else is responsible that they
and no one else is responsible that they are not
are not
are not victims to their past or present
victims to their past or present
victims to their past or present circumstances or to their environment
circumstances or to their environment
circumstances or to their environment and finally that they can recreate their
and finally that they can recreate their
and finally that they can recreate their life at any moment I watched the girls
life at any moment I watched the girls
life at any moment I watched the girls transform as we give them time to
transform as we give them time to
transform as we give them time to investigate the choices they made as we
investigate the choices they made as we
investigate the choices they made as we focus on what they can do right moving
focus on what they can do right moving
focus on what they can do right moving forward rather than on what they’ve done
forward rather than on what they’ve done
forward rather than on what they’ve done wrong see our goal with this program is
wrong see our goal with this program is
wrong see our goal with this program is to keep young girls from going to prison
to keep young girls from going to prison
to keep young girls from going to prison in the first place but what about the
in the first place but what about the
in the first place but what about the mothers in prison
mothers in prison
mothers in prison currently women comprise a larger
currently women comprise a larger
currently women comprise a larger proportion of the prison population than
proportion of the prison population than
proportion of the prison population than ever before during the last 15 years the
ever before during the last 15 years the
ever before during the last 15 years the number of women in prison has increased
number of women in prison has increased
number of women in prison has increased by 700 percent 60 percent of women and
by 700 percent 60 percent of women and
by 700 percent 60 percent of women and State Prison have a child under 18
something needs to change but where do
something needs to change but where do we start what in the most impactful ways
we start what in the most impactful ways
we start what in the most impactful ways is to reduce recidivism by keeping
is to reduce recidivism by keeping
is to reduce recidivism by keeping offenders from repeating criminal
offenders from repeating criminal
offenders from repeating criminal behaviors that land them back in prison
behaviors that land them back in prison
behaviors that land them back in prison see we always knew the program we
see we always knew the program we
see we always knew the program we developed to help young women make
developed to help young women make
developed to help young women make better choices and not end up in prison
better choices and not end up in prison
better choices and not end up in prison could also help women recently released
could also help women recently released
could also help women recently released from prison when our program was
from prison when our program was
from prison when our program was accepted by San Diego u.s. federal
accepted by San Diego u.s. federal
accepted by San Diego u.s. federal probation and we began working with
probation and we began working with
probation and we began working with these women I saw the power of reentry
these women I saw the power of reentry
these women I saw the power of reentry work again most of the women were
work again most of the women were
work again most of the women were mothers at the beginning of the program
mothers at the beginning of the program
mothers at the beginning of the program the women felt overwhelmed with the
the women felt overwhelmed with the
the women felt overwhelmed with the stigma of being a felon and the
stigma of being a felon and the
stigma of being a felon and the challenges that lay ahead needing to
challenges that lay ahead needing to
challenges that lay ahead needing to rebuild their life their connection to
rebuild their life their connection to
rebuild their life their connection to their children they felt like they were
their children they felt like they were
their children they felt like they were losers like they were unlovable like
losers like they were unlovable like
losers like they were unlovable like their life couldn’t be put back together
their life couldn’t be put back together
their life couldn’t be put back together again during the three months we asked
again during the three months we asked
again during the three months we asked the women to take a deep
the women to take a deep
the women to take a deep look at their lives the challenges are
look at their lives the challenges are
look at their lives the challenges are faced with daily and their relationship
faced with daily and their relationship
faced with daily and their relationship to choice these sessions are
to choice these sessions are
to choice these sessions are transformational but raw as they
transformational but raw as they
transformational but raw as they confront their deepest pain and their
confront their deepest pain and their
confront their deepest pain and their innermost feelings they cry they hug
innermost feelings they cry they hug
innermost feelings they cry they hug they leave they come back this is tough
they leave they come back this is tough
they leave they come back this is tough work but they do it over time their hope
work but they do it over time their hope
work but they do it over time their hope comes alive their shame melts as the
comes alive their shame melts as the
comes alive their shame melts as the women begin to feel more empowered they
women begin to feel more empowered they
women begin to feel more empowered they begin to empower each other that’s when
begin to empower each other that’s when
begin to empower each other that’s when it struck me why wait until somebody’s
it struck me why wait until somebody’s
it struck me why wait until somebody’s released from prison as powerful as this
released from prison as powerful as this
released from prison as powerful as this program was on the outside I knew it
program was on the outside I knew it
program was on the outside I knew it could be even more powerful inside
could be even more powerful inside
could be even more powerful inside prison we think re-entry begins when
prison we think re-entry begins when
prison we think re-entry begins when people are led out but successful
people are led out but successful
people are led out but successful reentry must begin while in prison there
reentry must begin while in prison there
reentry must begin while in prison there are a few prisons in the world that seek
are a few prisons in the world that seek
are a few prisons in the world that seek to use these principles of restorative
to use these principles of restorative
to use these principles of restorative justice that focus on the offender
justice that focus on the offender
justice that focus on the offender taking responsibility and allows for
taking responsibility and allows for
taking responsibility and allows for healing to occur one of the best models
healing to occur one of the best models
healing to occur one of the best models ever restored of prison is in Brazil see
ever restored of prison is in Brazil see
ever restored of prison is in Brazil see their philosophy is that crime is a
their philosophy is that crime is a
their philosophy is that crime is a violent and tragic refusal to love that
violent and tragic refusal to love that
violent and tragic refusal to love that we’re all made to love and to be loved
we’re all made to love and to be loved
we’re all made to love and to be loved but this has to be taught some families
but this has to be taught some families
but this has to be taught some families are not able to love or to teach what it
are not able to love or to teach what it
are not able to love or to teach what it means to love and this often leads to
means to love and this often leads to
means to love and this often leads to criminal behavior inside this prison
criminal behavior inside this prison
criminal behavior inside this prison they create a community where this can
they create a community where this can
they create a community where this can happen an emphasis is placed on the
happen an emphasis is placed on the
happen an emphasis is placed on the prisoner taking responsibility and
prisoner taking responsibility and
prisoner taking responsibility and they’re empowered by being given
they’re empowered by being given
they’re empowered by being given positions of trust
positions of trust
positions of trust instead of being treated like a criminal
instead of being treated like a criminal
instead of being treated like a criminal their families are treated with respect
their families are treated with respect
their families are treated with respect encouraged to visit and even
encouraged to visit and even
encouraged to visit and even participate in programs while locked up
participate in programs while locked up
participate in programs while locked up the prisoner is helped to see his or her
the prisoner is helped to see his or her
the prisoner is helped to see his or her unique gifts and the remarkable person
unique gifts and the remarkable person
unique gifts and the remarkable person they are it’s a prison culture they call
they are it’s a prison culture they call
they are it’s a prison culture they call human valorisation I’d never heard that
human valorisation I’d never heard that
human valorisation I’d never heard that word so I looked it up the definition of
word so I looked it up the definition of
word so I looked it up the definition of valorisation is to give or assign value
valorisation is to give or assign value
valorisation is to give or assign value to when we value each other we create
to when we value each other we create
to when we value each other we create opportunities for ourselves and those
opportunities for ourselves and those
opportunities for ourselves and those around us we nurture and love our
around us we nurture and love our
around us we nurture and love our children we give back to our communities
children we give back to our communities
children we give back to our communities we value life so let’s empower valorize
we value life so let’s empower valorize
we value life so let’s empower valorize women while they’re locked up instead of
women while they’re locked up instead of
women while they’re locked up instead of a justice system that punishes let’s
a justice system that punishes let’s
a justice system that punishes let’s create a system inside prison that
create a system inside prison that
create a system inside prison that restores women’s self-esteem confidence
restores women’s self-esteem confidence
restores women’s self-esteem confidence and community spirit so that they can
and community spirit so that they can
and community spirit so that they can come home sooner and be with their
come home sooner and be with their
come home sooner and be with their children and when they do stay there
children and when they do stay there
children and when they do stay there don’t tell me what you did wrong tell me
don’t tell me what you did wrong tell me
don’t tell me what you did wrong tell me what you can do right thank you
what you can do right thank you
what you can do right thank you [Applause]
”
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