what’s up TEDx Naperville how we doing we have
TEDx Naperville how we doing we have
TEDx Naperville how we doing we have read uncle and we are so excited to be
read uncle and we are so excited to be
read uncle and we are so excited to be performing for you tonight everything
performing for you tonight everything
performing for you tonight everything you see is going to be completely
you see is going to be completely
you see is going to be completely improvised on the count of three
improvised on the count of three
improvised on the count of three including those keys over there those
including those keys over there those
including those keys over there those are going to be improvised as well on
are going to be improvised as well on
are going to be improvised as well on the count of three I want everyone to
the count of three I want everyone to
the count of three I want everyone to shout out something they’re taking away
shout out something they’re taking away
shout out something they’re taking away from today something they’re inspired by
from today something they’re inspired by
from today something they’re inspired by maybe one word maybe a phrase I’m gonna
maybe one word maybe a phrase I’m gonna
maybe one word maybe a phrase I’m gonna give you ten seconds to think about it
give you ten seconds to think about it
give you ten seconds to think about it one two three and one two three gives me
one two three and one two three gives me
one two three and one two three gives me [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] what do we say over here color color
what do we say over here color color
what do we say over here color color thank you very much what if I were to
thank you very much what if I were to
thank you very much what if I were to tell you that there’s more than two
tell you that there’s more than two
tell you that there’s more than two colors in the world
colors in the world
colors in the world there’s blue yes and there’s green what
there’s blue yes and there’s green what
there’s blue yes and there’s green what have you heard about yellow what a lot
have you heard about yellow what a lot
have you heard about yellow what a lot of people don’t realize is that 40% of
of people don’t realize is that 40% of
of people don’t realize is that 40% of our population walks around this earth
our population walks around this earth
our population walks around this earth colorblind can you imagine getting out
colorblind can you imagine getting out
colorblind can you imagine getting out of bed in the morning I want you to be
of bed in the morning I want you to be
of bed in the morning I want you to be tearing up how am I gonna do that
tearing up how am I gonna do that
tearing up how am I gonna do that primarily pictures of children
Hodder this morning pick up her box of
Hodder this morning pick up her box of crayons I didn’t see a banker no I saw a
crayons I didn’t see a banker no I saw a
crayons I didn’t see a banker no I saw a musician who could paint the world with
musician who could paint the world with
musician who could paint the world with her music
her music
her music you’ve all heard of the 3×3 method yes
you’ve all heard of the 3×3 method yes
you’ve all heard of the 3×3 method yes I’m gonna talk to you about the color
I’m gonna talk to you about the color
I’m gonna talk to you about the color wheel method this is innovative it’s
wheel method this is innovative it’s
wheel method this is innovative it’s groundbreaking what if I were to tell
groundbreaking what if I were to tell
groundbreaking what if I were to tell you that you’re sitting on a thumbtack
you that you’re sitting on a thumbtack
you that you’re sitting on a thumbtack would you say ow what if I were to tell
would you say ow what if I were to tell
would you say ow what if I were to tell you it was to thumb would you say
my Don what a wonderful collection of
my Don what a wonderful collection of paint samples I’m impressed
paint samples I’m impressed
paint samples I’m impressed well I just didn’t know if you were a
well I just didn’t know if you were a
well I just didn’t know if you were a summer a fall a spring or a Pluto I call
summer a fall a spring or a Pluto I call
summer a fall a spring or a Pluto I call myself an autumn I’m surprised you
myself an autumn I’m surprised you
myself an autumn I’m surprised you didn’t know I
didn’t know I
didn’t know I I’m surprised you do to pick that up
I’m surprised you do to pick that up
I’m surprised you do to pick that up from my profile it says autumn right on
from my profile it says autumn right on
from my profile it says autumn right on it it is your name I know
it it is your name I know
it it is your name I know look your paint chips are cool and all
look your paint chips are cool and all
look your paint chips are cool and all but I’ll be honest if you’re not going
but I’ll be honest if you’re not going
but I’ll be honest if you’re not going to know anything about me I don’t think
to know anything about me I don’t think
to know anything about me I don’t think I want to know you I said it that’s
I want to know you I said it that’s
I want to know you I said it that’s right my heart yours for someone that’ll
right my heart yours for someone that’ll
right my heart yours for someone that’ll know me as autumn
know me as autumn
know me as autumn oh I know you you’re a looker slash
oh I know you you’re a looker slash
oh I know you you’re a looker slash taster
I’ve been watching you buddy you may
I’ve been watching you buddy you may think you’re just drinking a simple cup
think you’re just drinking a simple cup
think you’re just drinking a simple cup of coffee but I’ve been watching you all
of coffee but I’ve been watching you all
of coffee but I’ve been watching you all afternoon over my keyboard my Mac
afternoon over my keyboard my Mac
afternoon over my keyboard my Mac computer and before you watch me I want
computer and before you watch me I want
computer and before you watch me I want you to take three seconds to identify
you to take three seconds to identify
you to take three seconds to identify three objects around you named that
three objects around you named that
three objects around you named that object and then take a deep breath in
object and then take a deep breath in
object and then take a deep breath in and a deep breath out
and a deep breath out
and a deep breath out disappointment letdown and the lack of
disappointment letdown and the lack of
disappointment letdown and the lack of marriage wow I thought it was so simple
marriage wow I thought it was so simple
marriage wow I thought it was so simple object the design is working perfectly
object the design is working perfectly
object the design is working perfectly hey guys
hey guys
hey guys I don’t want to alarm you but I think
I don’t want to alarm you but I think
I don’t want to alarm you but I think we’re trapped oh I didn’t mean to
we’re trapped oh I didn’t mean to
we’re trapped oh I didn’t mean to interrupt what I’ll be over here he’s
interrupt what I’ll be over here he’s
interrupt what I’ll be over here he’s broken the paradigm there’s no flow
broken the paradigm there’s no flow
broken the paradigm there’s no flow through in this room stuck in here with
through in this room stuck in here with
through in this room stuck in here with you
you
you we’ll never get out yeah
we’ll never get out yeah
we’ll never get out yeah the design is working flawlessly
goodness Cynthia I swear it I swear I’ve
goodness Cynthia I swear it I swear I’ve noticed every time I pull out the paper
noticed every time I pull out the paper
noticed every time I pull out the paper everyone who’s died is named John I just
everyone who’s died is named John I just
everyone who’s died is named John I just feel like you know what nobody should be
feel like you know what nobody should be
feel like you know what nobody should be naming their child you’re already all
naming their child you’re already all
naming their child you’re already all the chance just date John Lennon John Oh
the chance just date John Lennon John Oh
the chance just date John Lennon John Oh John overwise died the ice cream maker
John overwise died the ice cream maker
John overwise died the ice cream maker oh man yeah well think at his legend
oh man yeah well think at his legend
oh man yeah well think at his legend lives on right I mean that guy knew what
lives on right I mean that guy knew what
lives on right I mean that guy knew what he was doing when he decided what his
he was doing when he decided what his
he was doing when he decided what his age 35 thing would be listen I’m
age 35 thing would be listen I’m
age 35 thing would be listen I’m changing my name to John Sebastian
changing my name to John Sebastian
changing my name to John Sebastian absolutely not
absolutely not
absolutely not listen you don’t want to grow up to just
listen you don’t want to grow up to just
listen you don’t want to grow up to just be another John do you Tommy never
be another John do you Tommy never
be another John do you Tommy never accomplished anything
accomplished anything
accomplished anything my grades are too good I might become a
my grades are too good I might become a
my grades are too good I might become a doctor sorry I’m feeding him for his
doctor sorry I’m feeding him for his
doctor sorry I’m feeding him for his coffin
welcome to your first day of medical
welcome to your first day of medical school we’ve decided that we’re not
school we’ve decided that we’re not
school we’ve decided that we’re not going to be dissecting oh look a call
going to be dissecting oh look a call
going to be dissecting oh look a call pit yes we have a ball pit there is a
pit yes we have a ball pit there is a
pit yes we have a ball pit there is a there is a masseuse yeah at your beck
there is a masseuse yeah at your beck
there is a masseuse yeah at your beck and call professor the slushie machine
and call professor the slushie machine
and call professor the slushie machine is out my machine oh my gosh is that
is out my machine oh my gosh is that
is out my machine oh my gosh is that patented gene of cold beverages wait
[Music]
[Music] until someone says thank you
until someone says thank you
until someone says thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] spin the dial right hand deliver spin
spin the dial right hand deliver spin
spin the dial right hand deliver spin the dial left hand kid ah thank you go
the dial left hand kid ah thank you go
the dial left hand kid ah thank you go here we go
here we go
here we go [Music]
[Music]
[Music] the only thing this cabin has is a 47
the only thing this cabin has is a 47
the only thing this cabin has is a 47 year old can of Campbell’s soup
year old can of Campbell’s soup
year old can of Campbell’s soup [Laughter]
[Laughter]
[Laughter] ah you happy with yourself now she’s
ah you happy with yourself now she’s
ah you happy with yourself now she’s talking to you
talking to you
talking to you yeah oh I know I listen
well you know what thank you hang on you
well you know what thank you hang on you guys I need to remember a memory it’s
guys I need to remember a memory it’s
guys I need to remember a memory it’s written on the ceiling guys I didn’t
written on the ceiling guys I didn’t
written on the ceiling guys I didn’t want it to come to this I really didn’t
want it to come to this I really didn’t
want it to come to this I really didn’t I thought I thought I thought I would
I thought I thought I thought I would
I thought I thought I thought I would bring us together more than I would
bring us together more than I would
bring us together more than I would bring us apart what what
bring us apart what what
bring us apart what what traveling to Naperville Illinois
traveling to Naperville Illinois
traveling to Naperville Illinois together that was gonna bring us
together that was gonna bring us
together that was gonna bring us together yeah well next I’m gonna be
together yeah well next I’m gonna be
together yeah well next I’m gonna be traveling to different parts of the US
traveling to different parts of the US
traveling to different parts of the US what yeah and maybe that’ll bring us
what yeah and maybe that’ll bring us
what yeah and maybe that’ll bring us together if we go together we’ll always
together if we go together we’ll always
together if we go together we’ll always be together because that’s how
be together because that’s how
be together because that’s how togetherness works
togetherness works
togetherness works mom mom get in here yeah I want to see
mom mom get in here yeah I want to see
mom mom get in here yeah I want to see your phone let me see your phone private
your phone let me see your phone private
your phone let me see your phone private that’s why is your mother doing on that
that’s why is your mother doing on that
that’s why is your mother doing on that phone I was in a group face snapchat
phone I was in a group face snapchat
phone I was in a group face snapchat what and we could be on the internet
what and we could be on the internet
what and we could be on the internet right now
they’re all around us
they’re all around us Cheryl what we know your secret but why
Cheryl what we know your secret but why
Cheryl what we know your secret but why did we have so many kids
[Applause]
[Applause] excuse me further would you mind dancing
excuse me further would you mind dancing
excuse me further would you mind dancing with me I need to wait till the slide
with me I need to wait till the slide
with me I need to wait till the slide gets to the next one not suspicious at
gets to the next one not suspicious at
gets to the next one not suspicious at all don’t worry about it but about me
all don’t worry about it but about me
all don’t worry about it but about me you want to dance with me hey I’m making
you want to dance with me hey I’m making
you want to dance with me hey I’m making a YouTube video
does it involve us going down a snowy
does it involve us going down a snowy Bank at a hundred miles an hour with
Bank at a hundred miles an hour with
Bank at a hundred miles an hour with absolutely no end in sight you’ve seen
absolutely no end in sight you’ve seen
absolutely no end in sight you’ve seen my videos so far I’ve had one hit it I’m
my videos so far I’ve had one hit it I’m
my videos so far I’ve had one hit it I’m glad to be is thank you
glad to be is thank you
glad to be is thank you [Music]
[Music]
[Music] just the way I dreamt it this is gonna
just the way I dreamt it this is gonna
just the way I dreamt it this is gonna be a virtual reality in no time
be a virtual reality in no time
be a virtual reality in no time you’re welcome nokia stock in real life
you’re welcome nokia stock in real life
you’re welcome nokia stock in real life I’m definitely not fishing you right now
I’m definitely not fishing you right now
I’m definitely not fishing you right now I’m a real person I love you you know I
I’m a real person I love you you know I
I’m a real person I love you you know I don’t think the scene is going too well
don’t think the scene is going too well
don’t think the scene is going too well you want to refocus on an object look to
you want to refocus on an object look to
you want to refocus on an object look to your left then look to your right you’ll
your left then look to your right you’ll
your left then look to your right you’ll either see an empty chair or a person
either see an empty chair or a person
either see an empty chair or a person did you know the world is made up of
did you know the world is made up of
did you know the world is made up of people and empty chairs when you extend
people and empty chairs when you extend
people and empty chairs when you extend one hand and thanks to one person you’ve
one hand and thanks to one person you’ve
one hand and thanks to one person you’ve got a thumb pointing back at yourself
got a thumb pointing back at yourself
got a thumb pointing back at yourself and gratitude to yourself hello I have a
and gratitude to yourself hello I have a
and gratitude to yourself hello I have a mild accent which means I can be trusted
mild accent which means I can be trusted
mild accent which means I can be trusted I’m an academic professional as you can
I’m an academic professional as you can
I’m an academic professional as you can hear I started running the data just to
hear I started running the data just to
hear I started running the data just to run the data as I thought to myself
run the data as I thought to myself
run the data as I thought to myself there’s so much to be data eyes why not
there’s so much to be data eyes why not
there’s so much to be data eyes why not just start picking random factors and
just start picking random factors and
just start picking random factors and putting them together so that’s what I
putting them together so that’s what I
putting them together so that’s what I did when I took the data and I started
did when I took the data and I started
did when I took the data and I started to analyze it
to analyze it
to analyze it I developed a logarithm of analytics I
I developed a logarithm of analytics I
I developed a logarithm of analytics I proud daughter because I can be trusted
proud daughter because I can be trusted
proud daughter because I can be trusted let’s look at the data shares and people
let’s look at the data shares and people
let’s look at the data shares and people people in chairs data the world is full
you can potentially see anything as a
you can potentially see anything as a person I’m bombing here these people
person I’m bombing here these people
person I’m bombing here these people don’t believe me where’s the guy with
don’t believe me where’s the guy with
don’t believe me where’s the guy with the accent dad my ziplock bags don’t fit
the accent dad my ziplock bags don’t fit
the accent dad my ziplock bags don’t fit anymore we have to make sure that at the
anymore we have to make sure that at the
anymore we have to make sure that at the end of the day we take all of the baked
end of the day we take all of the baked
end of the day we take all of the baked goods they haven’t been eaten or
goods they haven’t been eaten or
goods they haven’t been eaten or purchased if somebody purchases a baked
purchased if somebody purchases a baked
purchased if somebody purchases a baked good and doesn’t eat it
good and doesn’t eat it
good and doesn’t eat it that’s waste we don’t want that so Louie
that’s waste we don’t want that so Louie
that’s waste we don’t want that so Louie that’s a monster I’m a human being
that’s a monster I’m a human being
that’s a monster I’m a human being if we’re just gonna take all of the food
if we’re just gonna take all of the food
if we’re just gonna take all of the food that’s not been eaten or purchased at
that’s not been eaten or purchased at
that’s not been eaten or purchased at the end of the day and we’re gonna give
the end of the day and we’re gonna give
the end of the day and we’re gonna give it I just ate all the baked goods in the
it I just ate all the baked goods in the
it I just ate all the baked goods in the back me and John here are polishing them
back me and John here are polishing them
back me and John here are polishing them off so I think we solved our there was
off so I think we solved our there was
off so I think we solved our there was always problem going in order of what is
always problem going in order of what is
always problem going in order of what is the most stale to the least yeah so that
the most stale to the least yeah so that
the most stale to the least yeah so that no one has seed stale food except for us
no one has seed stale food except for us
no one has seed stale food except for us yeah hey sculpt dude i sculpted all the
yeah hey sculpt dude i sculpted all the
yeah hey sculpt dude i sculpted all the canned goods into a sculpture that
canned goods into a sculpture that
canned goods into a sculpture that communicates my emotions so I thought
communicates my emotions so I thought
communicates my emotions so I thought that was pretty good use of Oh George
that was pretty good use of Oh George
that was pretty good use of Oh George you look you look angry
you look you look angry
you look you look angry yeah you can tell because I don’t make
yeah you can tell because I don’t make
yeah you can tell because I don’t make any eye contact
any eye contact
any eye contact hey y’all I just used all the toilet
hey y’all I just used all the toilet
hey y’all I just used all the toilet paper
paper
paper we all got anymore excuse me sir hi hi I
we all got anymore excuse me sir hi hi I
we all got anymore excuse me sir hi hi I was hoping to sign up or something I
was hoping to sign up or something I
was hoping to sign up or something I don’t get paid for oh you’ve come to the
don’t get paid for oh you’ve come to the
don’t get paid for oh you’ve come to the right place see the red dot yes okay the
right place see the red dot yes okay the
right place see the red dot yes okay the red dot is synonymous for poor people
okay can’t step on it and tell you
okay can’t step on it and tell you register okay it’s sacred ground great
register okay it’s sacred ground great
register okay it’s sacred ground great happy step on the Red Dawn it’s the most
happy step on the Red Dawn it’s the most
happy step on the Red Dawn it’s the most magical place in the world
magical place in the world
magical place in the world well I can’t ignore the thoughts in my
well I can’t ignore the thoughts in my
well I can’t ignore the thoughts in my head
[Music]
[Music] I can’t go back to where I used to be
I can’t go back to where I used to be
I can’t go back to where I used to be she’s mixed bad singing with jazz and
she’s mixed bad singing with jazz and
she’s mixed bad singing with jazz and Broadway
Broadway
Broadway she’s making choices
she’s making choices
she’s making choices I mean that’s the best thing I can say
I mean that’s the best thing I can say
I mean that’s the best thing I can say about right would nurse the blast she
about right would nurse the blast she
about right would nurse the blast she doesn’t know any of the rules of music
doesn’t know any of the rules of music
doesn’t know any of the rules of music [Music]
”
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