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The Astonishing Life of a Bald Woman | Donna Hessel | TEDxKU


good morning I’m really happy to be here

good morning I’m really happy to be here with you today and I have to confess I

with you today and I have to confess I

with you today and I have to confess I was also a little nervous getting ready

was also a little nervous getting ready

was also a little nervous getting ready this morning because at the moment I’m

this morning because at the moment I’m

this morning because at the moment I’m not exactly bald so I did take a lot of

not exactly bald so I did take a lot of

not exactly bald so I did take a lot of care I wanted an outfit that wasn’t too

care I wanted an outfit that wasn’t too

care I wanted an outfit that wasn’t too hip and not too mom-ish

hip and not too mom-ish

hip and not too mom-ish I think I lean more towards the mom-ish

I think I lean more towards the mom-ish

I think I lean more towards the mom-ish side but I wanted my hair to look good

side but I wanted my hair to look good

side but I wanted my hair to look good in my makeup and I brushed my teeth and

in my makeup and I brushed my teeth and

in my makeup and I brushed my teeth and I have a feeling that most of you took

I have a feeling that most of you took

I have a feeling that most of you took care getting ready this morning too it

care getting ready this morning too it

care getting ready this morning too it matters how people perceive us but do

matters how people perceive us but do

matters how people perceive us but do you remember a time when you were little

you remember a time when you were little

you remember a time when you were little and you could wear plaid shorts and a

and you could wear plaid shorts and a

and you could wear plaid shorts and a striped shirt and nobody cared or you

striped shirt and nobody cared or you

striped shirt and nobody cared or you woke up with the worst bedhead of your

woke up with the worst bedhead of your

woke up with the worst bedhead of your life and it only mattered to your mom so

life and it only mattered to your mom so

life and it only mattered to your mom so how old were you when your appearance

how old were you when your appearance

how old were you when your appearance started to matter

and when was it exactly that you became

and when was it exactly that you became so obsessed with your cyber image

so obsessed with your cyber image

so obsessed with your cyber image because the reality is we are worried I

read a study by market research calm and

read a study by market research calm and they said that last year we spent

they said that last year we spent

they said that last year we spent sixty-two billion dollars on cosmetics

sixty-two billion dollars on cosmetics

sixty-two billion dollars on cosmetics the American Cancer Society our American

the American Cancer Society our American

the American Cancer Society our American Society for plastic surgeons says that

Society for plastic surgeons says that

Society for plastic surgeons says that we spent sixteen billion dollars on

we spent sixteen billion dollars on

we spent sixteen billion dollars on cosmetic plastic surgeries and I read a

cosmetic plastic surgeries and I read a

cosmetic plastic surgeries and I read a study by the Richmond Institute for

study by the Richmond Institute for

study by the Richmond Institute for dental continuing dental education and

dental continuing dental education and

dental continuing dental education and it said that in 2015 we spent a hundred

it said that in 2015 we spent a hundred

it said that in 2015 we spent a hundred billion dollars on hair care that’s

billion dollars on hair care that’s

billion dollars on hair care that’s twice what we spend on dental care so

twice what we spend on dental care so

twice what we spend on dental care so that means that all of you took care did

that means that all of you took care did

that means that all of you took care did something this morning with your hair

something this morning with your hair

something this morning with your hair but only half of you brushed your teeth

now I’m going to confess that I have

now I’m going to confess that I have contributed to these billions of dollars

contributed to these billions of dollars

contributed to these billions of dollars I believe in the benefit of a little bit

I believe in the benefit of a little bit

I believe in the benefit of a little bit of mascara and some lip gloss and I

of mascara and some lip gloss and I

of mascara and some lip gloss and I spend $65 on a haircut when I have hair

spend $65 on a haircut when I have hair

spend $65 on a haircut when I have hair I want to look good

I want to look good

I want to look good I know I’m not ever gonna look like

I know I’m not ever gonna look like

I know I’m not ever gonna look like Jennifer Lawrence but when I walk out

Jennifer Lawrence but when I walk out

Jennifer Lawrence but when I walk out the door I want to look good and my hair

the door I want to look good and my hair

the door I want to look good and my hair has always been a big part of that I

has always been a big part of that I

has always been a big part of that I have my whole life had thick straight

have my whole life had thick straight

have my whole life had thick straight healthy hair and even when acne plagued

healthy hair and even when acne plagued

healthy hair and even when acne plagued my face my hair looked good

my face my hair looked good

my face my hair looked good until one day without any warning and

until one day without any warning and

until one day without any warning and certainly without any permission from me

certainly without any permission from me

certainly without any permission from me I began my astonishing journey into

I began my astonishing journey into

I began my astonishing journey into baldness I was diagnosed with breast

baldness I was diagnosed with breast

baldness I was diagnosed with breast cancer on January 25th of this year the

cancer on January 25th of this year the

cancer on January 25th of this year the American Cancer Society tells us that

American Cancer Society tells us that

American Cancer Society tells us that one in eight women will develop breast

one in eight women will develop breast

one in eight women will develop breast cancer this year alone two hundred and

cancer this year alone two hundred and

cancer this year alone two hundred and fifty two thousand seven hundred and ten

fifty two thousand seven hundred and ten

fifty two thousand seven hundred and ten women will be diagnosed with invasive

women will be diagnosed with invasive

women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer that’s cancer that has

breast cancer that’s cancer that has

breast cancer that’s cancer that has spread to other parts of your body over

spread to other parts of your body over

spread to other parts of your body over 63 thousand women will be diagnosed with

63 thousand women will be diagnosed with

63 thousand women will be diagnosed with non invasive breast cancer

non invasive breast cancer

non invasive breast cancer cancer is a scary word and I think it’s

cancer is a scary word and I think it’s

cancer is a scary word and I think it’s because behind cancer we hear death and

because behind cancer we hear death and

because behind cancer we hear death and in fact this year over forty thousand

in fact this year over forty thousand

in fact this year over forty thousand women in the United States will be

women in the United States will be

women in the United States will be diagnosed will die from breast cancer

diagnosed will die from breast cancer

diagnosed will die from breast cancer that’s ten thousand more women there and

that’s ten thousand more women there and

that’s ten thousand more women there and there are students on the kayuu campus

there are students on the kayuu campus

there are students on the kayuu campus most of those women will be between the

most of those women will be between the

most of those women will be between the ages of 55 and 64 I am 54 we don’t like

ages of 55 and 64 I am 54 we don’t like

ages of 55 and 64 I am 54 we don’t like death and even though we know it’s

death and even though we know it’s

death and even though we know it’s inevitable we somehow think that we can

inevitable we somehow think that we can

inevitable we somehow think that we can sneak past it and the hardest part about

sneak past it and the hardest part about

sneak past it and the hardest part about hearing that I had cancer was telling

hearing that I had cancer was telling

hearing that I had cancer was telling the people I love

the people I love

the people I love because I could hear in their voices and

because I could hear in their voices and

because I could hear in their voices and see in their eyes their fear that I

see in their eyes their fear that I

see in their eyes their fear that I might die my husband and I met with the

might die my husband and I met with the

might die my husband and I met with the breast surgeon the day after the

breast surgeon the day after the

breast surgeon the day after the diagnosis and she was over 90 percent

diagnosis and she was over 90 percent

diagnosis and she was over 90 percent sure that once she removed the lump the

sure that once she removed the lump the

sure that once she removed the lump the only thing I would need was radiation

only thing I would need was radiation

only thing I would need was radiation and I was so happy

and I was so happy

and I was so happy why because radiation doesn’t make you

why because radiation doesn’t make you

why because radiation doesn’t make you sick and it doesn’t make your hair fall

sick and it doesn’t make your hair fall

sick and it doesn’t make your hair fall out

out

out in fact hardly anyone would even need to

in fact hardly anyone would even need to

in fact hardly anyone would even need to know why had cancer surgery was February

know why had cancer surgery was February

know why had cancer surgery was February 21st and the tumor was much larger than

21st and the tumor was much larger than

21st and the tumor was much larger than what they expected and even though the

what they expected and even though the

what they expected and even though the cancer had not spread into my lymph

cancer had not spread into my lymph

cancer had not spread into my lymph nodes because of the size of the tumor

nodes because of the size of the tumor

nodes because of the size of the tumor they sent it off for more analysis to

they sent it off for more analysis to

they sent it off for more analysis to determine if I had a high risk for

determine if I had a high risk for

determine if I had a high risk for recurrence I’d wait a month before I

recurrence I’d wait a month before I

recurrence I’d wait a month before I knew that answer and waiting is the

knew that answer and waiting is the

knew that answer and waiting is the hardest I would stand in front of my

hardest I would stand in front of my

hardest I would stand in front of my mirror and pull my hair back and try to

mirror and pull my hair back and try to

mirror and pull my hair back and try to imagine a bald me and I could not do it

imagine a bald me and I could not do it

imagine a bald me and I could not do it one day my husband and I were out and

one day my husband and I were out and

one day my husband and I were out and about just goofing off and I had tried

about just goofing off and I had tried

about just goofing off and I had tried on a hat and for whatever reason I

on a hat and for whatever reason I

on a hat and for whatever reason I looked at him and I said what if I’m

looked at him and I said what if I’m

looked at him and I said what if I’m bald and the look of denial or here on

bald and the look of denial or here on

bald and the look of denial or here on his face almost broke my heart

his face almost broke my heart

his face almost broke my heart and for just the briefest moment I

and for just the briefest moment I

and for just the briefest moment I thought he loved me if I’m home well he

thought he loved me if I’m home well he

thought he loved me if I’m home well he looked at me and he said you won’t be

looked at me and he said you won’t be

looked at me and he said you won’t be bald

bald

bald you won’t need chemo except I did my

you won’t need chemo except I did my

you won’t need chemo except I did my first chemo treatment was April the

first chemo treatment was April the

first chemo treatment was April the fourth and the week before that I had

fourth and the week before that I had

fourth and the week before that I had gone in and they surgically inserted a

gone in and they surgically inserted a

gone in and they surgically inserted a port underneath my skin on the left hand

port underneath my skin on the left hand

port underneath my skin on the left hand side from that port there’s a tube that

side from that port there’s a tube that

side from that port there’s a tube that travels up towards your neck and at the

travels up towards your neck and at the

travels up towards your neck and at the end of that tube is a line that’s

end of that tube is a line that’s

end of that tube is a line that’s inserted into your interior jugular vein

inserted into your interior jugular vein

inserted into your interior jugular vein so for each of my four chemo treatments

so for each of my four chemo treatments

so for each of my four chemo treatments they hooked those IV lines up to the

they hooked those IV lines up to the

they hooked those IV lines up to the port and for two and a half hours the

port and for two and a half hours the

port and for two and a half hours the chemo drugs that they gave me dripped

chemo drugs that they gave me dripped

chemo drugs that they gave me dripped into my jugular vein and from there

into my jugular vein and from there

into my jugular vein and from there throughout my entire body now cancer

throughout my entire body now cancer

throughout my entire body now cancer cells multiply very rapidly but they

cells multiply very rapidly but they

cells multiply very rapidly but they don’t die off like healthy cells do so

don’t die off like healthy cells do so

don’t die off like healthy cells do so the chemo is designed to attack all the

the chemo is designed to attack all the

the chemo is designed to attack all the fast-growing cells in your body hair is

fast-growing cells in your body hair is

fast-growing cells in your body hair is a fast growing cell so about two weeks

a fast growing cell so about two weeks

a fast growing cell so about two weeks after my first chemo treatment I started

after my first chemo treatment I started

after my first chemo treatment I started losing my hair it was on my pillow when

losing my hair it was on my pillow when

losing my hair it was on my pillow when I woke up in the morning it was on my

I woke up in the morning it was on my

I woke up in the morning it was on my clothes and the worst was when I would

clothes and the worst was when I would

clothes and the worst was when I would take a shower because I washed my hair

take a shower because I washed my hair

take a shower because I washed my hair and my hands would come away with just

and my hands would come away with just

and my hands would come away with just covered in hair it was gross

covered in hair it was gross

covered in hair it was gross I mean we all lose hair every day but

I mean we all lose hair every day but

I mean we all lose hair every day but this was extreme so I called my stylist

this was extreme so I called my stylist

this was extreme so I called my stylist of 26 years and she came over I took off

of 26 years and she came over I took off

of 26 years and she came over I took off my glasses and she worked on my head

my glasses and she worked on my head

my glasses and she worked on my head until it was smooth to the touch and I

until it was smooth to the touch and I

until it was smooth to the touch and I put my glasses back on and I looked in

put my glasses back on and I looked in

put my glasses back on and I looked in the mirror and I said the very first

the mirror and I said the very first

the mirror and I said the very first words that came to my mind I look like a

words that came to my mind I look like a

words that came to my mind I look like a Star Trek alien

this was a stunning life-changing moment

this was a stunning life-changing moment the woman looking back at me was so

the woman looking back at me was so

the woman looking back at me was so different than the one that had looked

different than the one that had looked

different than the one that had looked back at me just a few minutes before I

back at me just a few minutes before I

back at me just a few minutes before I wasn’t sure what to do with this women

wasn’t sure what to do with this women

wasn’t sure what to do with this women are not supposed to be bald think about

are not supposed to be bald think about

are not supposed to be bald think about it you can name a lot of famous bald men

it you can name a lot of famous bald men

it you can name a lot of famous bald men but famous bald women unless it’s a

but famous bald women unless it’s a

but famous bald women unless it’s a movie rule and you know society has no

movie rule and you know society has no

movie rule and you know society has no issue with bald men they’re shiny domes

issue with bald men they’re shiny domes

issue with bald men they’re shiny domes can be sexy

can be sexy

can be sexy a sign of virility there goes a man

a sign of virility there goes a man

a sign of virility there goes a man comfortable in his own skin but bald

comfortable in his own skin but bald

comfortable in his own skin but bald women certainly the one looking back at

women certainly the one looking back at

women certainly the one looking back at me was not going to be gracing the cover

me was not going to be gracing the cover

me was not going to be gracing the cover of a magazine this really was quite a

of a magazine this really was quite a

of a magazine this really was quite a moment because I was filled with

moment because I was filled with

moment because I was filled with questions this was a scary me a

questions this was a scary me a

questions this was a scary me a different me a me with cancer I was

different me a me with cancer I was

different me a me with cancer I was afraid of how people would react when

afraid of how people would react when

afraid of how people would react when they saw me bald

they saw me bald

they saw me bald I tried scarves not a good look

I tried scarves not a good look

I tried scarves not a good look wigs made me claustrophobic and you know

wigs made me claustrophobic and you know

wigs made me claustrophobic and you know how many hats say one size fits all

how many hats say one size fits all

how many hats say one size fits all that’s a total lie

adjustable baseball caps became my new

adjustable baseball caps became my new best friends and I never left the house

best friends and I never left the house

best friends and I never left the house without one in the beginning not even to

without one in the beginning not even to

without one in the beginning not even to get the mail but it got really hard

get the mail but it got really hard

get the mail but it got really hard really quick to decide exactly which hat

really quick to decide exactly which hat

really quick to decide exactly which hat I should wear with which outfit and why

I should wear with which outfit and why

I should wear with which outfit and why did it matter and it’s summer and my

did it matter and it’s summer and my

did it matter and it’s summer and my head is hot and sweaty

and so I looked at myself ball this

and so I looked at myself ball this could be in the mirror and I said who

could be in the mirror and I said who

could be in the mirror and I said who are you

are you

are you how important is that media image can I

how important is that media image can I

how important is that media image can I be me if I don’t look like me

my grandson’s actually were the ones who

my grandson’s actually were the ones who helped me through this now I will tell

helped me through this now I will tell

helped me through this now I will tell you the first time they came to the door

you the first time they came to the door

you the first time they came to the door and they saw me bald they were a little

and they saw me bald they were a little

and they saw me bald they were a little skeptical oh when is the older Hughes

skeptical oh when is the older Hughes

skeptical oh when is the older Hughes for Ethan his too and they looked at me

for Ethan his too and they looked at me

for Ethan his too and they looked at me and finally Ethan said naana why you’ve

and finally Ethan said naana why you’ve

and finally Ethan said naana why you’ve got no hair and then they came inside

got no hair and then they came inside

got no hair and then they came inside and we played and we read stories and we

and we played and we read stories and we

and we played and we read stories and we ate dinner and those two little boys

ate dinner and those two little boys

ate dinner and those two little boys when they looked at me they were not

when they looked at me they were not

when they looked at me they were not looking at a scary bald woman who might

looking at a scary bald woman who might

looking at a scary bald woman who might die from cancer they were looking at

die from cancer they were looking at

die from cancer they were looking at their momma somebody who made love and

their momma somebody who made love and

their momma somebody who made love and who loves them back unconditionally so

who loves them back unconditionally so

who loves them back unconditionally so once again I looked at myself and I said

once again I looked at myself and I said

once again I looked at myself and I said what’s different I have know him

what’s different I have know him

what’s different I have know him what’s the same my height I’m still

what’s the same my height I’m still

what’s the same my height I’m still short it didn’t change my weight sadly

short it didn’t change my weight sadly

short it didn’t change my weight sadly my smile was the same my funky little

my smile was the same my funky little

my smile was the same my funky little toe didn’t change my laugh my hopes my

toe didn’t change my laugh my hopes my

toe didn’t change my laugh my hopes my dreams

dreams

dreams my lungs they were all still me and so I

my lungs they were all still me and so I

my lungs they were all still me and so I just decided to take my bald self out

just decided to take my bald self out

just decided to take my bald self out there for the world and astonishing

there for the world and astonishing

there for the world and astonishing things happen women started coming up to

things happen women started coming up to

things happen women started coming up to me on the sidewalk in the grocery store

me on the sidewalk in the grocery store

me on the sidewalk in the grocery store at the library at church and they would

at the library at church and they would

at the library at church and they would say things like I used to have a hairdo

say things like I used to have a hairdo

say things like I used to have a hairdo like that or I’m a 10-year survivor or

like that or I’m a 10-year survivor or

like that or I’m a 10-year survivor or the one that really got me because never

the one that really got me because never

the one that really got me because never ever in my life had a stranger said this

ever in my life had a stranger said this

ever in my life had a stranger said this to me before you are beautiful I learned

to me before you are beautiful I learned

to me before you are beautiful I learned so much from people going through this

so much from people going through this

so much from people going through this journey with cancer as a bald woman we

journey with cancer as a bald woman we

journey with cancer as a bald woman we are never alone you know when I found

are never alone you know when I found

are never alone you know when I found out I had cancer I wanted to just go sit

out I had cancer I wanted to just go sit

out I had cancer I wanted to just go sit in my room I didn’t want anyone to know

in my room I didn’t want anyone to know

in my room I didn’t want anyone to know and there’s something about a diagnosis

and there’s something about a diagnosis

and there’s something about a diagnosis like that that makes you think I’m the

like that that makes you think I’m the

like that that makes you think I’m the only one there’s no one else out there

only one there’s no one else out there

only one there’s no one else out there with this problem in fact there are 3.1

with this problem in fact there are 3.1

with this problem in fact there are 3.1 million women in the United States right

million women in the United States right

million women in the United States right now who are either undergoing treatment

now who are either undergoing treatment

now who are either undergoing treatment for breast cancer or who are breast

for breast cancer or who are breast

for breast cancer or who are breast cancer survivors I wasn’t alone and when

cancer survivors I wasn’t alone and when

cancer survivors I wasn’t alone and when I decided to tell people about my cancer

I decided to tell people about my cancer

I decided to tell people about my cancer and they told people who told people I

and they told people who told people I

and they told people who told people I was blown away by the support that I

was blown away by the support that I

was blown away by the support that I received cards flowers gift baskets

received cards flowers gift baskets

received cards flowers gift baskets blankets visits meals for me and my

blankets visits meals for me and my

blankets visits meals for me and my family I was bathed with these things

family I was bathed with these things

family I was bathed with these things and I was surrounded by prayer I am a

and I was surrounded by prayer I am a

and I was surrounded by prayer I am a very strong believer in the power of

very strong believer in the power of

very strong believer in the power of prayer prayer unites us it makes us

prayer prayer unites us it makes us

prayer prayer unites us it makes us stronger and it’s a way that we share

stronger and it’s a way that we share

stronger and it’s a way that we share our stories especially our burdens I had

our stories especially our burdens I had

our stories especially our burdens I had family friends acquaintances even the

family friends acquaintances even the

family friends acquaintances even the cashier in the grocery store wanted to

cashier in the grocery store wanted to

cashier in the grocery store wanted to mine know my name so he could pray for

mine know my name so he could pray for

mine know my name so he could pray for me total strangers we are never alone

there’s fear versus reality too you know

there’s fear versus reality too you know when I was diagnosed with and told I

when I was diagnosed with and told I

when I was diagnosed with and told I needed chemo it was worse than the day

needed chemo it was worse than the day

needed chemo it was worse than the day they said you have cancer and I went in

they said you have cancer and I went in

they said you have cancer and I went in my room and I closed the door and I laid

my room and I closed the door and I laid

my room and I closed the door and I laid on the bed and I cried and I didn’t want

on the bed and I cried and I didn’t want

on the bed and I cried and I didn’t want to talk to anybody and I watched stupid

to talk to anybody and I watched stupid

to talk to anybody and I watched stupid TV and I think it was because I had

TV and I think it was because I had

TV and I think it was because I had heard so many stories about chemo

heard so many stories about chemo

heard so many stories about chemo that I was afraid of it but for me the

that I was afraid of it but for me the

that I was afraid of it but for me the reality wasn’t near as bad as what I had

reality wasn’t near as bad as what I had

reality wasn’t near as bad as what I had feared I was in the restroom one morning

feared I was in the restroom one morning

feared I was in the restroom one morning washing my hands and a woman came up to

washing my hands and a woman came up to

washing my hands and a woman came up to me and she said can I ask you a personal

me and she said can I ask you a personal

me and she said can I ask you a personal question

question

question I said sure she said do you have

I said sure she said do you have

I said sure she said do you have alopecia

alopecia

alopecia now alopecia affects mainly women but

now alopecia affects mainly women but

now alopecia affects mainly women but can affect men and when you have it your

can affect men and when you have it your

can affect men and when you have it your immune system attacks your hair

immune system attacks your hair

immune system attacks your hair follicles and it can cause complete and

follicles and it can cause complete and

follicles and it can cause complete and total baldness so I looked at her and I

total baldness so I looked at her and I

total baldness so I looked at her and I said no I’m bald because of my cancer

said no I’m bald because of my cancer

said no I’m bald because of my cancer treatment

treatment

treatment she said you’re so brave

she said you’re so brave

she said you’re so brave and then she looked at me and there was

and then she looked at me and there was

and then she looked at me and there was such fear in her eyes and she said I

such fear in her eyes and she said I

such fear in her eyes and she said I have alopecia what’s it like to be bald

have alopecia what’s it like to be bald

have alopecia what’s it like to be bald and I was so glad that I could honestly

and I was so glad that I could honestly

and I was so glad that I could honestly look at her and say it’s not bad at all

look at her and say it’s not bad at all

look at her and say it’s not bad at all in fact it’s one of the best things

in fact it’s one of the best things

in fact it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me

that’s ever happened to me

that’s ever happened to me how often what we fear is so much worse

how often what we fear is so much worse

how often what we fear is so much worse than what actually is another

than what actually is another

than what actually is another astonishing thing that I learned was

astonishing thing that I learned was

astonishing thing that I learned was that people look to me to see how they

that people look to me to see how they

that people look to me to see how they should react to my cancer if I was

should react to my cancer if I was

should react to my cancer if I was comfortable being bald they could be

comfortable being bald they could be

comfortable being bald they could be comfortable around me if I wasn’t

comfortable around me if I wasn’t

comfortable around me if I wasn’t letting cancer get me down they didn’t

letting cancer get me down they didn’t

letting cancer get me down they didn’t have to let my cancer get them down

have to let my cancer get them down

have to let my cancer get them down it was my positive attitude not my

it was my positive attitude not my

it was my positive attitude not my appearance that had the power to change

appearance that had the power to change

appearance that had the power to change someone’s day you see we all have

someone’s day you see we all have

someone’s day you see we all have struggles but if we approach them

struggles but if we approach them

struggles but if we approach them positively and people can see that then

positively and people can see that then

positively and people can see that then whatever struggles they’re facing maybe

whatever struggles they’re facing maybe

whatever struggles they’re facing maybe don’t seems bad you have the power to

don’t seems bad you have the power to

don’t seems bad you have the power to change someone’s day through your

change someone’s day through your

change someone’s day through your attitude your positive attitude you can

attitude your positive attitude you can

attitude your positive attitude you can wake up with the absolute worst bedhead

wake up with the absolute worst bedhead

wake up with the absolute worst bedhead of your life and walk out the door with

of your life and walk out the door with

of your life and walk out the door with it and yes your friends are gonna laugh

it and yes your friends are gonna laugh

it and yes your friends are gonna laugh at you but people you encounter

at you but people you encounter

at you but people you encounter if you give them a smile or a word of

if you give them a smile or a word of

if you give them a smile or a word of encouragement or help with a tough

encouragement or help with a tough

encouragement or help with a tough homework assignment or a shoulder to cry

homework assignment or a shoulder to cry

homework assignment or a shoulder to cry on that’s what they’re going to remember

on that’s what they’re going to remember

on that’s what they’re going to remember about you and blessings five hundred

about you and blessings five hundred

about you and blessings five hundred ninety five thousand six hundred and

ninety five thousand six hundred and

ninety five thousand six hundred and ninety people died from cancer last year

ninety people died from cancer last year

ninety people died from cancer last year I knew two of them so when you get that

I knew two of them so when you get that

I knew two of them so when you get that diagnosis it’s really easy to say why me

diagnosis it’s really easy to say why me

diagnosis it’s really easy to say why me poor me then we all fall into that trap

poor me then we all fall into that trap

poor me then we all fall into that trap sometimes and I did that first day with

sometimes and I did that first day with

sometimes and I did that first day with chemo but the next morning I woke up and

chemo but the next morning I woke up and

chemo but the next morning I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I said no no

I looked in the mirror and I said no no

I looked in the mirror and I said no no more and I chose to look past the cancer

more and I chose to look past the cancer

more and I chose to look past the cancer and at the many blessings I have in my

and at the many blessings I have in my

and at the many blessings I have in my life a kiss from my husband

life a kiss from my husband

life a kiss from my husband conversations with my kids

conversations with my kids

conversations with my kids hugs from my grandkids lunch with my mom

hugs from my grandkids lunch with my mom

hugs from my grandkids lunch with my mom a glass of wine with a friend a blue sky

a glass of wine with a friend a blue sky

a glass of wine with a friend a blue sky a walk around the block the grandeur of

a walk around the block the grandeur of

a walk around the block the grandeur of Pikes Peak out my window every day we

Pikes Peak out my window every day we

Pikes Peak out my window every day we all have blessings in our lives it’s

all have blessings in our lives it’s

all have blessings in our lives it’s just that sometimes they’re so small we

just that sometimes they’re so small we

just that sometimes they’re so small we almost don’t see them

appearances matter or do they because

appearances matter or do they because honestly I think appearances and be

honestly I think appearances and be

honestly I think appearances and be deceiving I don’t know what you’re

deceiving I don’t know what you’re

deceiving I don’t know what you’re hiding underneath your hair maybe it’s

hiding underneath your hair maybe it’s

hiding underneath your hair maybe it’s the loss of someone you love through

the loss of someone you love through

the loss of someone you love through death or divorce or move across the

death or divorce or move across the

death or divorce or move across the country or a bad breakup your hair can’t

country or a bad breakup your hair can’t

country or a bad breakup your hair can’t tell me if you live with abuse or

tell me if you live with abuse or

tell me if you live with abuse or addiction or a job that barely lets you

addiction or a job that barely lets you

addiction or a job that barely lets you get by or if you’re suffering from

get by or if you’re suffering from

get by or if you’re suffering from loneliness or despair I can’t tell just

loneliness or despair I can’t tell just

loneliness or despair I can’t tell just by looking at you what troubles you are

by looking at you what troubles you are

by looking at you what troubles you are hiding but society does tell us that

hiding but society does tell us that

hiding but society does tell us that appearances matter when I look in the

appearances matter when I look in the

appearances matter when I look in the mirror each morning I can choose that or

mirror each morning I can choose that or

mirror each morning I can choose that or with the grace of God and the strength

with the grace of God and the strength

with the grace of God and the strength of my community I can say not that much

of my community I can say not that much

of my community I can say not that much if I live with authenticity being myself

if I live with authenticity being myself

if I live with authenticity being myself not that image that I’m posting on

not that image that I’m posting on

not that image that I’m posting on snapchat or Instagram but me from the

snapchat or Instagram but me from the

snapchat or Instagram but me from the heart if I can live with compassion

heart if I can live with compassion

heart if I can live with compassion because we do all have struggles and the

because we do all have struggles and the

because we do all have struggles and the more we support each other the more

more we support each other the more

more we support each other the more compassion we have for one another the

compassion we have for one another the

compassion we have for one another the easier those struggles are to bear and I

easier those struggles are to bear and I

easier those struggles are to bear and I can choose to live with gratitude for

can choose to live with gratitude for

can choose to live with gratitude for everything I have including and

everything I have including and

everything I have including and especially the really tough stuff and

especially the really tough stuff and

especially the really tough stuff and love I have been bathed in love I know

love I have been bathed in love I know

love I have been bathed in love I know that I couldn’t do what I have done

that I couldn’t do what I have done

that I couldn’t do what I have done without that love it’s the best thing

without that love it’s the best thing

without that love it’s the best thing that we have to give one another because

that we have to give one another because

that we have to give one another because you see we’re all gonna wake up tomorrow

you see we’re all gonna wake up tomorrow

you see we’re all gonna wake up tomorrow morning and we’re all gonna look in the

morning and we’re all gonna look in the

morning and we’re all gonna look in the mirror and we’re gonna do what we do and

mirror and we’re gonna do what we do and

mirror and we’re gonna do what we do and we’re gonna leave the house either

we’re gonna leave the house either

we’re gonna leave the house either satisfied with what we saw or I’m out of

satisfied with what we saw or I’m out of

satisfied with what we saw or I’m out of time I gotta go

but how tomorrow goes depends on you you

but how tomorrow goes depends on you you see my life since January has not been

see my life since January has not been

see my life since January has not been astonishing because I was bald you don’t

astonishing because I was bald you don’t

astonishing because I was bald you don’t have to be bald to have an astonishing

have to be bald to have an astonishing

have to be bald to have an astonishing life all you need is to live

life all you need is to live

life all you need is to live authentically

authentically

authentically with compassion with gratitude and with

with compassion with gratitude and with

with compassion with gratitude and with love and no matter what you struggle

love and no matter what you struggle

love and no matter what you struggle with and you will struggle if you have

with and you will struggle if you have

with and you will struggle if you have those things you will have an

those things you will have an

those things you will have an astonishing life

”

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