get your together what does that even mean I was raised to be a manly man
even mean I was raised to be a manly man
even mean I was raised to be a manly man that led me to shoot competitively join
that led me to shoot competitively join
that led me to shoot competitively join the army as a cavalry scout and become a
the army as a cavalry scout and become a
the army as a cavalry scout and become a police officer I didn’t do those things
police officer I didn’t do those things
police officer I didn’t do those things for me I did them because I felt that
for me I did them because I felt that
for me I did them because I felt that was what was expected of me as a man but
was what was expected of me as a man but
was what was expected of me as a man but I didn’t feel more like a man I remember
I didn’t feel more like a man I remember
I didn’t feel more like a man I remember the night I finally had it with that
the night I finally had it with that
the night I finally had it with that life it slow in the desert on a training
life it slow in the desert on a training
life it slow in the desert on a training exercise forgotten by my unit I was
exercise forgotten by my unit I was
exercise forgotten by my unit I was tired
tired
tired cold hungry and really angry I’d had it
cold hungry and really angry I’d had it
cold hungry and really angry I’d had it with this I was done living a
with this I was done living a
with this I was done living a life I didn’t want in order to prove to
life I didn’t want in order to prove to
life I didn’t want in order to prove to others that I was a man so I got out of
others that I was a man so I got out of
others that I was a man so I got out of the army and I started my civilian life
the army and I started my civilian life
the army and I started my civilian life with no college education no resume I
with no college education no resume I
with no college education no resume I got lost really fast I wasn’t cut out
got lost really fast I wasn’t cut out
got lost really fast I wasn’t cut out for the academic world or the world a
for the academic world or the world a
for the academic world or the world a corporate ladder climbing and I couldn’t
corporate ladder climbing and I couldn’t
corporate ladder climbing and I couldn’t find any other path my limited view of
find any other path my limited view of
find any other path my limited view of what men do in the world I was just a
what men do in the world I was just a
what men do in the world I was just a lost I no longer had a mission or
lost I no longer had a mission or
lost I no longer had a mission or purpose the frustration and anger was
purpose the frustration and anger was
purpose the frustration and anger was all I could feel it had to be someone
all I could feel it had to be someone
all I could feel it had to be someone else’s fault and I blamed the world and
else’s fault and I blamed the world and
else’s fault and I blamed the world and while I was blaming the world I felt I
while I was blaming the world I felt I
while I was blaming the world I felt I was being blamed for just being a man
was being blamed for just being a man
was being blamed for just being a man unable to succeed it took all I had to
unable to succeed it took all I had to
unable to succeed it took all I had to continue moving forward
continue moving forward
continue moving forward so I did what popular calls were
so I did what popular calls were
so I did what popular calls were suggested I distracted myself by buying
suggested I distracted myself by buying
suggested I distracted myself by buying stuff that was my car
stuff that was my car
stuff that was my car muscle-car I went into debt financing my
muscle-car I went into debt financing my
muscle-car I went into debt financing my manliness and then I had to hide the
manliness and then I had to hide the
manliness and then I had to hide the shame I felt because I was in debt I saw
shame I felt because I was in debt I saw
shame I felt because I was in debt I saw other young guys struggling with the
other young guys struggling with the
other young guys struggling with the exact same thing I saw many older men
exact same thing I saw many older men
exact same thing I saw many older men hiding their failures through life and
hiding their failures through life and
hiding their failures through life and complaining about everything is this
complaining about everything is this
complaining about everything is this what I had to look forward to it just
what I had to look forward to it just
what I had to look forward to it just doesn’t seem worth it but luckily I
doesn’t seem worth it but luckily I
doesn’t seem worth it but luckily I remembered that night in the desert lost
remembered that night in the desert lost
remembered that night in the desert lost cold and angry I made a bucket list and
cold and angry I made a bucket list and
cold and angry I made a bucket list and learning to dance was number two on that
learning to dance was number two on that
learning to dance was number two on that list so I found a dance studio and I
list so I found a dance studio and I
list so I found a dance studio and I arranged for lesson it was the most
arranged for lesson it was the most
arranged for lesson it was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done but I
terrifying thing I’ve ever done but I
terrifying thing I’ve ever done but I walked in and I met this old guy someone
walked in and I met this old guy someone
walked in and I met this old guy someone who was so completely different than me
who was so completely different than me
who was so completely different than me I would never have engaged him in the
I would never have engaged him in the
I would never have engaged him in the past I thought he was a hippie but he
past I thought he was a hippie but he
past I thought he was a hippie but he had a confidence a confidence I knew was
had a confidence a confidence I knew was
had a confidence a confidence I knew was based on his understanding of who he was
based on his understanding of who he was
based on his understanding of who he was and what he was doing in the world we
and what he was doing in the world we
and what he was doing in the world we talked he was the first person who
talked he was the first person who
talked he was the first person who showed any interest in helping me at a
showed any interest in helping me at a
showed any interest in helping me at a time when I felt like no one cared about
time when I felt like no one cared about
time when I felt like no one cared about me so this guy walks in the dance studio
me so this guy walks in the dance studio
me so this guy walks in the dance studio all conservative and clean-cut a real
all conservative and clean-cut a real
all conservative and clean-cut a real guys guy not the kind of guy I would
guys guy not the kind of guy I would
guys guy not the kind of guy I would hang out with even if I was his age now
hang out with even if I was his age now
hang out with even if I was his age now for the lesson I asked him what he was
for the lesson I asked him what he was
for the lesson I asked him what he was doing he had a dead-end job and was
doing he had a dead-end job and was
doing he had a dead-end job and was frustrated but I saw his desire and I
frustrated but I saw his desire and I
frustrated but I saw his desire and I saw his discipline and that respected
saw his discipline and that respected
saw his discipline and that respected him for just coming into the studio and
him for just coming into the studio and
him for just coming into the studio and taking a lesson from somebody like me so
taking a lesson from somebody like me so
taking a lesson from somebody like me so we had coffee and over many coffees I
we had coffee and over many coffees I
we had coffee and over many coffees I began to see the struggles he and other
began to see the struggles he and other
began to see the struggles he and other young men his age were having just
young men his age were having just
young men his age were having just trying to be men in today’s society and
trying to be men in today’s society and
trying to be men in today’s society and oddly enough they Eckerd the stage I was
oddly enough they Eckerd the stage I was
oddly enough they Eckerd the stage I was going through I just retired from being
going through I just retired from being
going through I just retired from being an architect and I was teaching dance
an architect and I was teaching dance
an architect and I was teaching dance and for the first time
and for the first time
and for the first time I was facing life without the identity
I was facing life without the identity
I was facing life without the identity of a profession what did it mean to be a
of a profession what did it mean to be a
of a profession what did it mean to be a man now
man now
man now well my training as an architect allows
well my training as an architect allows
well my training as an architect allows me to see the structuring things and I
me to see the structuring things and I
me to see the structuring things and I saw that every man went through very
saw that every man went through very
saw that every man went through very clear and identifiable stages and that
clear and identifiable stages and that
clear and identifiable stages and that the stages that my grandfather and
the stages that my grandfather and
the stages that my grandfather and father went through were very simple to
father went through were very simple to
father went through were very simple to understand you go to school you get a
understand you go to school you get a
understand you go to school you get a job you get married and have kids you
job you get married and have kids you
job you get married and have kids you spend your whole life making a living
spend your whole life making a living
spend your whole life making a living and raising a family till you get old
and raising a family till you get old
and raising a family till you get old enough to retire and visit the grandkids
well there weren’t a lot of options for
well there weren’t a lot of options for men then they often just followed in
men then they often just followed in
men then they often just followed in their father’s footsteps but they knew
their father’s footsteps but they knew
their father’s footsteps but they knew where they were at every stage and they
where they were at every stage and they
where they were at every stage and they knew what was expected of them
knew what was expected of them
knew what was expected of them Society is asking something else’s men
Society is asking something else’s men
Society is asking something else’s men now so the map to manhood has changed
now so the map to manhood has changed
now so the map to manhood has changed the stages are no longer distinct
the stages are no longer distinct
the stages are no longer distinct there’s still options for success and
there’s still options for success and
there’s still options for success and many new ones that didn’t exist 50 years
many new ones that didn’t exist 50 years
many new ones that didn’t exist 50 years ago but there are countless options that
ago but there are countless options that
ago but there are countless options that will take you off that map with this
will take you off that map with this
will take you off that map with this freedom comes a requirement for
freedom comes a requirement for
freedom comes a requirement for conscious responsibility and clear
conscious responsibility and clear
conscious responsibility and clear decision-making with no clear definition
decision-making with no clear definition
decision-making with no clear definition what we’re supposed to do other than you
what we’re supposed to do other than you
what we’re supposed to do other than you just get our together many men are
just get our together many men are
just get our together many men are just getting lost and how can we blame
just getting lost and how can we blame
just getting lost and how can we blame them if this map is confusing for you to
them if this map is confusing for you to
them if this map is confusing for you to figure out welcome to my world I saw
figure out welcome to my world I saw
figure out welcome to my world I saw that the map of contemporary manhood men
that the map of contemporary manhood men
that the map of contemporary manhood men had time there was a time at the end of
had time there was a time at the end of
had time there was a time at the end of being a young man before taking on the
being a young man before taking on the
being a young man before taking on the responsibilities of full adulthood
responsibilities of full adulthood
responsibilities of full adulthood time to get lost or time to question
time to get lost or time to question
time to get lost or time to question their view in the world and their place
their view in the world and their place
their view in the world and their place in it they had time to set their
in it they had time to set their
in it they had time to set their intentions a time to be a young blood
intentions a time to be a young blood
intentions a time to be a young blood there was also time
there was also time
there was also time at the end of prime adulthood and before
at the end of prime adulthood and before
at the end of prime adulthood and before you became an old man a time to view
you became an old man a time to view
you became an old man a time to view your life in perspective and a time to
your life in perspective and a time to
your life in perspective and a time to ask a lot more you could become a time
ask a lot more you could become a time
ask a lot more you could become a time to be an OG an old guy
so by conversations with Dale push the
so by conversations with Dale push the pause button on my headlong rush into
pause button on my headlong rush into
pause button on my headlong rush into finding a career I could see the stage
finding a career I could see the stage
finding a career I could see the stage and I was in and I could release all the
and I was in and I could release all the
and I was in and I could release all the expectations on me to succeed in an
expectations on me to succeed in an
expectations on me to succeed in an unreasonable pace this og helped me to
unreasonable pace this og helped me to
unreasonable pace this og helped me to see the opportunity that I had to ask
see the opportunity that I had to ask
see the opportunity that I had to ask some essential questions and find my own
some essential questions and find my own
some essential questions and find my own answers like what kind of man do I want
answers like what kind of man do I want
answers like what kind of man do I want to be what are my beliefs and values and
to be what are my beliefs and values and
to be what are my beliefs and values and what are my talents and passions these
what are my talents and passions these
what are my talents and passions these are questions I’d never considered
are questions I’d never considered
are questions I’d never considered before seeing where Cody was in his
before seeing where Cody was in his
before seeing where Cody was in his stage got me to see the opportunities I
stage got me to see the opportunities I
stage got me to see the opportunities I had I didn’t want to become just another
had I didn’t want to become just another
had I didn’t want to become just another old man telling stories of what he did
old man telling stories of what he did
old man telling stories of what he did when he was younger there had to be
when he was younger there had to be
when he was younger there had to be something more than this but I had time
something more than this but I had time
something more than this but I had time to ask myself questions
to ask myself questions
to ask myself questions [Music]
[Music]
[Music] what kind of man have I become and what
what kind of man have I become and what
what kind of man have I become and what is left what is there left and need to
is left what is there left and need to
is left what is there left and need to offer to the world and by asking these
offer to the world and by asking these
offer to the world and by asking these questions and finding my answers I
questions and finding my answers I
questions and finding my answers I became the og the old guy
got it
got it so I remembered when I was in graduate
so I remembered when I was in graduate
so I remembered when I was in graduate school and I was doing really well in
school and I was doing really well in
school and I was doing really well in school but like Cody I was lost in all
school but like Cody I was lost in all
school but like Cody I was lost in all the other aspects of my life here we are
the other aspects of my life here we are
the other aspects of my life here we are two guys two different guys two
two guys two different guys two
two guys two different guys two different times of our life but the same
different times of our life but the same
different times of our life but the same stage struggling with the same questions
stage struggling with the same questions
stage struggling with the same questions and I remembered one night in my studio
and I remembered one night in my studio
and I remembered one night in my studio feeling lost I scribbled out a diagram
feeling lost I scribbled out a diagram
feeling lost I scribbled out a diagram notice I was trying to get my
notice I was trying to get my
notice I was trying to get my together then – now this diagram may
together then – now this diagram may
together then – now this diagram may look complex but it really arises from
look complex but it really arises from
look complex but it really arises from two fundamental questions Who am I and
two fundamental questions Who am I and
two fundamental questions Who am I and why am I here
why am I here
why am I here and in my diagram Who am I had three
and in my diagram Who am I had three
and in my diagram Who am I had three compartments what do I feel what do I
compartments what do I feel what do I
compartments what do I feel what do I believe and what do I think and this
believe and what do I think and this
believe and what do I think and this became my inner landscape and the
became my inner landscape and the
became my inner landscape and the question why I’m here had three
question why I’m here had three
question why I’m here had three compartments what do I take care of in
compartments what do I take care of in
compartments what do I take care of in life and what do I do in life and who do
life and what do I do in life and who do
life and what do I do in life and who do I share it with and this became the
I share it with and this became the
I share it with and this became the outer world and between the two they
outer world and between the two they
outer world and between the two they became a compass and a focus for my
became a compass and a focus for my
became a compass and a focus for my self-development and over years of
self-development and over years of
self-development and over years of working in each one of the directions of
working in each one of the directions of
working in each one of the directions of my life
my life
my life another question arose who is
another question arose who is
another question arose who is responsible for Who I am
responsible for Who I am
responsible for Who I am I am and only I am responsible for what
I am and only I am responsible for what
I am and only I am responsible for what I feel what I believe in what I think
I feel what I believe in what I think
I feel what I believe in what I think but I couldn’t control the events and
but I couldn’t control the events and
but I couldn’t control the events and people in my life so how do I negotiate
people in my life so how do I negotiate
people in my life so how do I negotiate that and it became clear to me it was up
that and it became clear to me it was up
that and it became clear to me it was up to me to find a healthy and creative way
to me to find a healthy and creative way
to me to find a healthy and creative way to take care of all the things in my
to take care of all the things in my
to take care of all the things in my life to find a place for my passion and
life to find a place for my passion and
life to find a place for my passion and talent
talent
talent and to create healthy relationships with
and to create healthy relationships with
and to create healthy relationships with everyone in my life and by doing this
everyone in my life and by doing this
everyone in my life and by doing this and constantly working on the six
and constantly working on the six
and constantly working on the six compartments of my life I could create a
compartments of my life I could create a
compartments of my life I could create a life worth living it’s like most men I
life worth living it’s like most men I
life worth living it’s like most men I don’t like being told what to do I am
don’t like being told what to do I am
don’t like being told what to do I am stubborn I don’t like being given a
stubborn I don’t like being given a
stubborn I don’t like being given a checklist of things I have to do or just
checklist of things I have to do or just
checklist of things I have to do or just having things outlined for me it’s a
having things outlined for me it’s a
having things outlined for me it’s a fantastic picture
the fact that I was the one asking the
the fact that I was the one asking the questions and coming up with my own
questions and coming up with my own
questions and coming up with my own answers was so powerful because I was a
answers was so powerful because I was a
answers was so powerful because I was a Cavalry Scout I know how to read a map
Cavalry Scout I know how to read a map
Cavalry Scout I know how to read a map so when I saw the map I could see the
so when I saw the map I could see the
so when I saw the map I could see the stage I was in I wasn’t overwhelmed with
stage I was in I wasn’t overwhelmed with
stage I was in I wasn’t overwhelmed with all the possibilities I could focus on
all the possibilities I could focus on
all the possibilities I could focus on that stage and learn to define success
that stage and learn to define success
that stage and learn to define success for myself I know how to use a compass I
for myself I know how to use a compass I
for myself I know how to use a compass I saw that I had to take radical
saw that I had to take radical
saw that I had to take radical responsibility for every aspect of my
responsibility for every aspect of my
responsibility for every aspect of my life and that I couldn’t ignore any of
life and that I couldn’t ignore any of
life and that I couldn’t ignore any of the compartments the compass for once I
the compartments the compass for once I
the compartments the compass for once I knew where I was and I had a mission and
knew where I was and I had a mission and
knew where I was and I had a mission and purpose again we worked through the
purpose again we worked through the
purpose again we worked through the compass on a daily basis Dale did not
compass on a daily basis Dale did not
compass on a daily basis Dale did not have my answers but he knew what
have my answers but he knew what
have my answers but he knew what questions to ask I hated it at first
questions to ask I hated it at first
questions to ask I hated it at first because the questions he was asking me
because the questions he was asking me
because the questions he was asking me we’re challenging who I thought I was
we’re challenging who I thought I was
we’re challenging who I thought I was and what I thought life was supposed to
and what I thought life was supposed to
and what I thought life was supposed to be the first thing I had to do was
be the first thing I had to do was
be the first thing I had to do was figure out why I was so angry and out of
figure out why I was so angry and out of
figure out why I was so angry and out of touch with all my other emotions Dale
touch with all my other emotions Dale
touch with all my other emotions Dale would laugh when I come home and
would laugh when I come home and
would laugh when I come home and complain about the old man at the gym
complain about the old man at the gym
complain about the old man at the gym getting in my way and slowing down my
getting in my way and slowing down my
getting in my way and slowing down my work out how they ruined my morning
work out how they ruined my morning
work out how they ruined my morning who-who are you he asked to decide how
who-who are you he asked to decide how
who-who are you he asked to decide how other people should behave and damn and
other people should behave and damn and
other people should behave and damn and he was right
he was right
he was right it wasn’t the old men it was my thoughts
it wasn’t the old men it was my thoughts
it wasn’t the old men it was my thoughts about the old men that were ruining my
about the old men that were ruining my
about the old men that were ruining my morning and reluctantly I saw that I
morning and reluctantly I saw that I
morning and reluctantly I saw that I blamed others because I didn’t want to
blamed others because I didn’t want to
blamed others because I didn’t want to look at myself but when he started to
look at myself but when he started to
look at myself but when he started to question my beliefs and values I began
question my beliefs and values I began
question my beliefs and values I began to have kind of a conversion he asked me
to have kind of a conversion he asked me
to have kind of a conversion he asked me the Einstein question is the universe a
the Einstein question is the universe a
the Einstein question is the universe a friendly place if I could answer yes
friendly place if I could answer yes
friendly place if I could answer yes then I could live a life an
then I could live a life an
then I could live a life an understanding of that universe and that
understanding of that universe and that
understanding of that universe and that my power and safety would come through
my power and safety would come through
my power and safety would come through this understanding my mind was
this understanding my mind was
this understanding my mind was absolutely blown life it didn’t have to
absolutely blown life it didn’t have to
absolutely blown life it didn’t have to be a battle just walking around town I
be a battle just walking around town I
be a battle just walking around town I couldn’t help but notice all the ways
couldn’t help but notice all the ways
couldn’t help but notice all the ways the world supporting my life and
the world supporting my life and
the world supporting my life and everything around me this led me to
everything around me this led me to
everything around me this led me to believe that life really was on my side
believe that life really was on my side
believe that life really was on my side so I’ve been working the compass for a
so I’ve been working the compass for a
so I’ve been working the compass for a year and a half now I have grown in more
year and a half now I have grown in more
year and a half now I have grown in more ways than I could ever imagine I’ve
ways than I could ever imagine I’ve
ways than I could ever imagine I’ve accomplished more chain
accomplished more chain
accomplished more chain and I ever thought was possible through
and I ever thought was possible through
and I ever thought was possible through using the compass I have come to
using the compass I have come to
using the compass I have come to understand my responsibilities as a man
understand my responsibilities as a man
understand my responsibilities as a man I will not make excuses I will not blame
I will not make excuses I will not blame
I will not make excuses I will not blame others I will do this for me and I will
others I will do this for me and I will
others I will do this for me and I will do it to the best of my ability and most
do it to the best of my ability and most
do it to the best of my ability and most importantly I will share my experiences
importantly I will share my experiences
importantly I will share my experiences in order to help other men do the same
in order to help other men do the same
in order to help other men do the same because that is what real men do
it’s not easy being a man in today’s
it’s not easy being a man in today’s society but if an architect and a
society but if an architect and a
society but if an architect and a gunfighter can walk into dance studio
gunfighter can walk into dance studio
gunfighter can walk into dance studio and come up with a process that works
and come up with a process that works
and come up with a process that works for someone like me and is working for a
for someone like me and is working for a
for someone like me and is working for a guy like Cody you can work for other men
guy like Cody you can work for other men
guy like Cody you can work for other men so here is a map to understand the
so here is a map to understand the
so here is a map to understand the stages in your life and a compass to
stages in your life and a compass to
stages in your life and a compass to direct you to each of the compartment of
direct you to each of the compartment of
direct you to each of the compartment of your life and a list of questions to
your life and a list of questions to
your life and a list of questions to examine your life and create a life
examine your life and create a life
examine your life and create a life worth living
”
Be First to Comment