there is a bridge we are all familiar with in fact many of us have crossed
with in fact many of us have crossed
with in fact many of us have crossed this bridge it’s a beautiful bridge it’s
this bridge it’s a beautiful bridge it’s
this bridge it’s a beautiful bridge it’s bright and well lit it’s paved and
bright and well lit it’s paved and
bright and well lit it’s paved and smooth and everyone you know has crossed
smooth and everyone you know has crossed
smooth and everyone you know has crossed this bridge or they’ll soon be crossing
this bridge or they’ll soon be crossing
this bridge or they’ll soon be crossing it after you and it’s a great experience
it after you and it’s a great experience
it after you and it’s a great experience crossing this bridge you have parties in
crossing this bridge you have parties in
crossing this bridge you have parties in your honor
your honor
your honor gifts there’s people there to help you
gifts there’s people there to help you
gifts there’s people there to help you plan every step of the way and if
plan every step of the way and if
plan every step of the way and if anything there’s an overwhelming amount
anything there’s an overwhelming amount
anything there’s an overwhelming amount of support and choices but the best part
of support and choices but the best part
of support and choices but the best part about this bridge is where its leading
about this bridge is where its leading
about this bridge is where its leading you – its leading you to the lands of
you – its leading you to the lands of
you – its leading you to the lands of the perfect life the land of the perfect
the perfect life the land of the perfect
the perfect life the land of the perfect life feels safe and secure it’s the
life feels safe and secure it’s the
life feels safe and secure it’s the place where you have a partner by your
place where you have a partner by your
place where you have a partner by your side and with that maybe the ability to
side and with that maybe the ability to
side and with that maybe the ability to buy a home have children pets and a
buy a home have children pets and a
buy a home have children pets and a whole new level of tax benefits in the
whole new level of tax benefits in the
whole new level of tax benefits in the land of the perfect life you’re married
land of the perfect life you’re married
land of the perfect life you’re married but many of us know the reality does not
but many of us know the reality does not
but many of us know the reality does not necessarily match this perception of
necessarily match this perception of
necessarily match this perception of perfection in our minds and for some it
perfection in our minds and for some it
perfection in our minds and for some it looks nothing like it there may be daily
looks nothing like it there may be daily
looks nothing like it there may be daily fighting tears a constant tension in the
fighting tears a constant tension in the
fighting tears a constant tension in the house and most of all a sense of loss of
house and most of all a sense of loss of
house and most of all a sense of loss of yourself a little bit more every day
yourself a little bit more every day
yourself a little bit more every day the factoids we’ve all heard stands true
the factoids we’ve all heard stands true
the factoids we’ve all heard stands true in research nearly 50% of all marriages
in research nearly 50% of all marriages
in research nearly 50% of all marriages and and dissolution so where does the
and and dissolution so where does the
and and dissolution so where does the 50% go when they no longer fit in the
50% go when they no longer fit in the
50% go when they no longer fit in the land of the perfect life and they need
land of the perfect life and they need
land of the perfect life and they need to leave well they’re not so lucky
to leave well they’re not so lucky
to leave well they’re not so lucky because there’s another bridge that you
because there’s another bridge that you
because there’s another bridge that you need to cross an exodus of the perfect
need to cross an exodus of the perfect
need to cross an exodus of the perfect life and it looks nothing like the
life and it looks nothing like the
life and it looks nothing like the bridge that you cross to get in this
bridge that you cross to get in this
bridge that you cross to get in this bridge is old and rickety no guardrails
bridge is old and rickety no guardrails
bridge is old and rickety no guardrails to hold on to an only big enough read
to hold on to an only big enough read
to hold on to an only big enough read across it alone far worse is what you’re
across it alone far worse is what you’re
across it alone far worse is what you’re looking at on the other side you picture
looking at on the other side you picture
looking at on the other side you picture a land that’s dried-up
a land that’s dried-up
a land that’s dried-up desolate isolated and just overall
desolate isolated and just overall
desolate isolated and just overall depressing and when you think about the
depressing and when you think about the
depressing and when you think about the people that live in that land you wonder
people that live in that land you wonder
people that live in that land you wonder why are the
why are the
why are the there what happens what’s wrong with
there what happens what’s wrong with
there what happens what’s wrong with them but perceptions aside in your own
them but perceptions aside in your own
them but perceptions aside in your own minds you have broken your family and
minds you have broken your family and
minds you have broken your family and you are a failure back in 2014 I was
you are a failure back in 2014 I was
you are a failure back in 2014 I was living in the land of the perfect life I
living in the land of the perfect life I
living in the land of the perfect life I was married a newly-minted suburbanite I
was married a newly-minted suburbanite I
was married a newly-minted suburbanite I have a three-year-old beautiful
have a three-year-old beautiful
have a three-year-old beautiful three-year-old daughter living in a home
three-year-old daughter living in a home
three-year-old daughter living in a home we had spent nearly a year renovating it
we had spent nearly a year renovating it
we had spent nearly a year renovating it was everything I had wanted on the
was everything I had wanted on the
was everything I had wanted on the outside but on the inside my marriage
outside but on the inside my marriage
outside but on the inside my marriage was crumbling
was crumbling
was crumbling we kept reaching for milestones where we
we kept reaching for milestones where we
we kept reaching for milestones where we felt things had to and needed to get
felt things had to and needed to get
felt things had to and needed to get better and they didn’t around this time
better and they didn’t around this time
better and they didn’t around this time I had started seeing a therapist and
I had started seeing a therapist and
I had started seeing a therapist and then we were in her office one day and I
then we were in her office one day and I
then we were in her office one day and I have a memory one of those memories
have a memory one of those memories
have a memory one of those memories where you can picture all of the details
where you can picture all of the details
where you can picture all of the details around it where we were sitting what she
around it where we were sitting what she
around it where we were sitting what she was wearing in the look on her face when
was wearing in the look on her face when
was wearing in the look on her face when she said have you considered getting a
she said have you considered getting a
she said have you considered getting a divorce
divorce
divorce and I remember thinking how could she
and I remember thinking how could she
and I remember thinking how could she say that I would never do that to my
say that I would never do that to my
say that I would never do that to my family I could never do that to my
family I could never do that to my
family I could never do that to my daughter
daughter
daughter what would work think what would the
what would work think what would the
what would work think what would the neighbors think but as time went on and
neighbors think but as time went on and
neighbors think but as time went on and as we slowly checked off every
as we slowly checked off every
as we slowly checked off every traditional method of trying to save our
traditional method of trying to save our
traditional method of trying to save our marriage they finally got to the point
marriage they finally got to the point
marriage they finally got to the point where I knew there were no more
where I knew there were no more
where I knew there were no more milestones that we could set and where
milestones that we could set and where
milestones that we could set and where everything would be okay we were going
everything would be okay we were going
everything would be okay we were going to have to face the inevitable and cross
to have to face the inevitable and cross
to have to face the inevitable and cross that bridge and head to a land that
that bridge and head to a land that
that bridge and head to a land that neither of us wanted anything to do with
neither of us wanted anything to do with
neither of us wanted anything to do with and I felt scared and ashamed but my
and I felt scared and ashamed but my
and I felt scared and ashamed but my journey took a few turns that I did not
journey took a few turns that I did not
journey took a few turns that I did not anticipate and it led me to a land that
anticipate and it led me to a land that
anticipate and it led me to a land that actually looks nothing like that
actually looks nothing like that
actually looks nothing like that dried-up sad place that I had envisioned
dried-up sad place that I had envisioned
dried-up sad place that I had envisioned in my mind’s the first curve in the road
in my mind’s the first curve in the road
in my mind’s the first curve in the road I traced back to a day right around when
I traced back to a day right around when
I traced back to a day right around when all of this was happening
all of this was happening
all of this was happening and I was walking through the airport
and I was walking through the airport
and I was walking through the airport quickly it when I was on a work trip and
quickly it when I was on a work trip and
quickly it when I was on a work trip and as I was walking past the Hudson News
as I was walking past the Hudson News
as I was walking past the Hudson News something caught my eye and I stopped
something caught my eye and I stopped
something caught my eye and I stopped and I walked up and picked up the cover
and I walked up and picked up the cover
and I walked up and picked up the cover of an the cover of the Us Weekly
of an the cover of the Us Weekly
of an the cover of the Us Weekly magazine and on the cover was Gwyneth
magazine and on the cover was Gwyneth
magazine and on the cover was Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin with a big
Paltrow and Chris Martin with a big
Paltrow and Chris Martin with a big tear down the middle and I remember
tear down the middle and I remember
tear down the middle and I remember thinking Oh
thinking Oh
thinking Oh Glenna this’ going through this – like
Glenna this’ going through this – like
Glenna this’ going through this – like we are gonna go through this together
we are gonna go through this together
we are gonna go through this together and bigger yet well how are they have to
and bigger yet well how are they have to
and bigger yet well how are they have to leave the land of the perfect life and
leave the land of the perfect life and
leave the land of the perfect life and how are they doing it and while this
how are they doing it and while this
how are they doing it and while this cover and this story basically made fun
cover and this story basically made fun
cover and this story basically made fun of them for coining a new cheesy term
of them for coining a new cheesy term
of them for coining a new cheesy term for divorce I was fascinated and so then
for divorce I was fascinated and so then
for divorce I was fascinated and so then I dove into the GUP website with a
I dove into the GUP website with a
I dove into the GUP website with a vengeance
vengeance
vengeance I read about their desire to keep their
I read about their desire to keep their
I read about their desire to keep their family as a unit while they themselves
family as a unit while they themselves
family as a unit while they themselves would no longer be a couple and before
would no longer be a couple and before
would no longer be a couple and before this all I knew of was of divorce was
this all I knew of was of divorce was
this all I knew of was of divorce was that you each get a lawyer you start
that you each get a lawyer you start
that you each get a lawyer you start duking it out and everything is
duking it out and everything is
duking it out and everything is miserable and terrible for the rest of
miserable and terrible for the rest of
miserable and terrible for the rest of your life
your life
your life that article served as a guidepost for
that article served as a guidepost for
that article served as a guidepost for us to navigate through our own
us to navigate through our own
us to navigate through our own experience in a more positive way and it
experience in a more positive way and it
experience in a more positive way and it really fundamentally changed the way
really fundamentally changed the way
really fundamentally changed the way that we approached our situation
that we approached our situation
that we approached our situation the second area came around figuring out
the second area came around figuring out
the second area came around figuring out where to live and figuring it out fast
where to live and figuring it out fast
where to live and figuring it out fast our house sold the day it went on the
our house sold the day it went on the
our house sold the day it went on the market and the buyers wanted an early
market and the buyers wanted an early
market and the buyers wanted an early close and I was like where am I gonna
close and I was like where am I gonna
close and I was like where am I gonna live so I started looking through places
live so I started looking through places
live so I started looking through places and it really sent me to an all-time low
and it really sent me to an all-time low
and it really sent me to an all-time low the places that were in my single mom
the places that were in my single mom
the places that were in my single mom price range was pretty gut-wrenching to
price range was pretty gut-wrenching to
price range was pretty gut-wrenching to see after putting all the blood sweat
see after putting all the blood sweat
see after putting all the blood sweat and tears into the renovation of our
and tears into the renovation of our
and tears into the renovation of our home and I had moved into our home
home and I had moved into our home
home and I had moved into our home feeling that was the place that my
feeling that was the place that my
feeling that was the place that my daughter was going to grow up in on the
daughter was going to grow up in on the
daughter was going to grow up in on the day I was signing a lease for an
day I was signing a lease for an
day I was signing a lease for an apartment that I didn’t even like a
apartment that I didn’t even like a
apartment that I didn’t even like a community email came in to my inbox and
community email came in to my inbox and
community email came in to my inbox and as I searched through there was a house
as I searched through there was a house
as I searched through there was a house in it that needed renters it was
in it that needed renters it was
in it that needed renters it was beautiful newly renovated much too big
beautiful newly renovated much too big
beautiful newly renovated much too big for my daughter and I but an idea struck
for my daughter and I but an idea struck
for my daughter and I but an idea struck I approached a friend of mine who was
I approached a friend of mine who was
I approached a friend of mine who was also recently divorced with a
also recently divorced with a
also recently divorced with a three-year-old daughter and I said
three-year-old daughter and I said
three-year-old daughter and I said something like look at this amazing
something like look at this amazing
something like look at this amazing house could you imagine living here and
house could you imagine living here and
house could you imagine living here and I mean this could be ridiculous but what
I mean this could be ridiculous but what
I mean this could be ridiculous but what if we live there together I mean who
if we live there together I mean who
if we live there together I mean who would do that
would do that
would do that but as we talked through it the idea
but as we talked through it the idea
but as we talked through it the idea became less and less ridiculous to us
became less and less ridiculous to us
became less and less ridiculous to us and we decide
and we decide
and we decide well hey what if we try this for a year
well hey what if we try this for a year
well hey what if we try this for a year and that was three years ago and the
and that was three years ago and the
and that was three years ago and the last three years have been the most
last three years have been the most
last three years have been the most rewarding fun and meaningful years of my
rewarding fun and meaningful years of my
rewarding fun and meaningful years of my life but I wanted to understand how and
life but I wanted to understand how and
life but I wanted to understand how and why it was so different from that land I
why it was so different from that land I
why it was so different from that land I had pictured in my mind and I knew it
had pictured in my mind and I knew it
had pictured in my mind and I knew it was more than just having a great living
was more than just having a great living
was more than just having a great living situation and being able to co-parent
situation and being able to co-parent
situation and being able to co-parent successfully it was something that I
successfully it was something that I
successfully it was something that I felt differently about so after some
felt differently about so after some
felt differently about so after some soul-searching I figured out that the
soul-searching I figured out that the
soul-searching I figured out that the reason that it was so different is
reason that it was so different is
reason that it was so different is because I no longer equated the end of
because I no longer equated the end of
because I no longer equated the end of my marriage with failure I had somewhere
my marriage with failure I had somewhere
my marriage with failure I had somewhere along the line made an unconscious
along the line made an unconscious
along the line made an unconscious decision to flip what I thought was a
decision to flip what I thought was a
decision to flip what I thought was a failure into an opportunity to create
failure into an opportunity to create
failure into an opportunity to create another perfect life but I wanted to
another perfect life but I wanted to
another perfect life but I wanted to know more because all I saw around me
know more because all I saw around me
know more because all I saw around me were women and couples that were
were women and couples that were
were women and couples that were struggling with that failure and that
struggling with that failure and that
struggling with that failure and that shame so I started doing research and
shame so I started doing research and
shame so I started doing research and I’ve spent the last three years reading
I’ve spent the last three years reading
I’ve spent the last three years reading talking to women in the community and
talking to women in the community and
talking to women in the community and across the country
across the country
across the country and I found that there is a common theme
and I found that there is a common theme
and I found that there is a common theme that women who have been able to
that women who have been able to
that women who have been able to navigate through in a more positive and
navigate through in a more positive and
navigate through in a more positive and solutions orient my oriented mindset
solutions orient my oriented mindset
solutions orient my oriented mindset share and the common theme is this you
share and the common theme is this you
share and the common theme is this you focus on the things that you can control
focus on the things that you can control
focus on the things that you can control and you let go of the things that you
and you let go of the things that you
and you let go of the things that you can’t you are the one who is in charge
can’t you are the one who is in charge
can’t you are the one who is in charge of defining your experience but how
of defining your experience but how
of defining your experience but how would you begin to define an experience
would you begin to define an experience
would you begin to define an experience that you want nothing to do with and you
that you want nothing to do with and you
that you want nothing to do with and you know nothing about where do you even
know nothing about where do you even
know nothing about where do you even start well these days when you’re not
start well these days when you’re not
start well these days when you’re not sure how to do something and you need
sure how to do something and you need
sure how to do something and you need some answers
some answers
some answers what do you turn to Google you got it
what do you turn to Google you got it
what do you turn to Google you got it but in some cases and especially with
but in some cases and especially with
but in some cases and especially with this case it’s not as easy as typing in
this case it’s not as easy as typing in
this case it’s not as easy as typing in a couple search terms and finding some
a couple search terms and finding some
a couple search terms and finding some clarity on the other ends in many areas
clarity on the other ends in many areas
clarity on the other ends in many areas of our lives we turn to role models and
of our lives we turn to role models and
of our lives we turn to role models and mentors we do this in sports and our
mentors we do this in sports and our
mentors we do this in sports and our jobs and careers in school so why not in
jobs and careers in school so why not in
jobs and careers in school so why not in divorce
divorce
divorce the first thing that you need to do is
the first thing that you need to do is
the first thing that you need to do is figure out what is important to you and
figure out what is important to you and
figure out what is important to you and then you can find someone who shares
then you can find someone who shares
then you can find someone who shares some of those same values and you your
some of those same values and you your
some of those same values and you your experience is very unique and you may
experience is very unique and you may
experience is very unique and you may think I don’t think I know anyone who
think I don’t think I know anyone who
think I don’t think I know anyone who has gone through a divorce that looks
has gone through a divorce that looks
has gone through a divorce that looks like they share any of my same values
like they share any of my same values
like they share any of my same values but sometimes when you start looking and
but sometimes when you start looking and
but sometimes when you start looking and listening for things and talking you
listening for things and talking you
listening for things and talking you find you have more in common with people
find you have more in common with people
find you have more in common with people that are out there and even if you can’t
that are out there and even if you can’t
that are out there and even if you can’t find one person you sometimes are able
find one person you sometimes are able
find one person you sometimes are able to look at a lot of different situations
to look at a lot of different situations
to look at a lot of different situations and whether you know them personally or
and whether you know them personally or
and whether you know them personally or you see them virtually and you take a
you see them virtually and you take a
you see them virtually and you take a little bit of good from everyone’s
little bit of good from everyone’s
little bit of good from everyone’s situation and you mold it together and
situation and you mold it together and
situation and you mold it together and you define an experience of what looks
you define an experience of what looks
you define an experience of what looks like success for you it might be looking
like success for you it might be looking
like success for you it might be looking at a woman who was not working and she
at a woman who was not working and she
at a woman who was not working and she went back to school and is now has a job
went back to school and is now has a job
went back to school and is now has a job and his earning significant income or
and his earning significant income or
and his earning significant income or maybe it’s a woman that was left high
maybe it’s a woman that was left high
maybe it’s a woman that was left high and dry but she puts a smile on her face
and dry but she puts a smile on her face
and dry but she puts a smile on her face and is able to co-parent successfully
and is able to co-parent successfully
and is able to co-parent successfully you figure out what you value you find
you figure out what you value you find
you figure out what you value you find someone who shares those same values and
someone who shares those same values and
someone who shares those same values and emulate them and maybe one day you can
emulate them and maybe one day you can
emulate them and maybe one day you can become a mentor for someone else the
become a mentor for someone else the
become a mentor for someone else the next area is around opening our minds to
next area is around opening our minds to
next area is around opening our minds to the trends and changes that are
the trends and changes that are
the trends and changes that are happening in the world around us there
happening in the world around us there
happening in the world around us there are so many things in our lives that are
are so many things in our lives that are
are so many things in our lives that are changing so fast that it blows our minds
changing so fast that it blows our minds
changing so fast that it blows our minds some things are so different than they
some things are so different than they
some things are so different than they were 10 years ago or two years ago even
were 10 years ago or two years ago even
were 10 years ago or two years ago even two months ago but divorce is definitely
two months ago but divorce is definitely
two months ago but divorce is definitely not one of those things the stigma
not one of those things the stigma
not one of those things the stigma around what divorce is like and how
around what divorce is like and how
around what divorce is like and how terrible it is is almost ingrained into
terrible it is is almost ingrained into
terrible it is is almost ingrained into our brains
our brains
our brains this stigma is a primary contributor to
this stigma is a primary contributor to
this stigma is a primary contributor to that failure mindset the world and how
that failure mindset the world and how
that failure mindset the world and how we live in it is changing fast and women
we live in it is changing fast and women
we live in it is changing fast and women have more education opportunity and
have more education opportunity and
have more education opportunity and information at our fingertips we can tap
information at our fingertips we can tap
information at our fingertips we can tap into this technology and the trends to
into this technology and the trends to
into this technology and the trends to help us build resources simplify our
help us build resources simplify our
help us build resources simplify our lives and connect to others like us how
lives and connect to others like us how
lives and connect to others like us how can divorce get with the times
can divorce get with the times
can divorce get with the times well one example is looking at how and
well one example is looking at how and
well one example is looking at how and where we live and while I fell into the
where we live and while I fell into the
where we live and while I fell into the opportunity to live with a friend and
opportunity to live with a friend and
opportunity to live with a friend and rent a home koulev Inge is actually
rent a home koulev Inge is actually
rent a home koulev Inge is actually becoming as a rising trend in the United
becoming as a rising trend in the United
becoming as a rising trend in the United States and across the world
States and across the world
States and across the world in some countries like Japan it’s an
in some countries like Japan it’s an
in some countries like Japan it’s an established way to live for some singles
startups are jumping on this notion that
startups are jumping on this notion that they can create better living through
they can create better living through
they can create better living through convenience and community and our
convenience and community and our
convenience and community and our building communal homes traditional
building communal homes traditional
building communal homes traditional housing is built on the antiquated
housing is built on the antiquated
housing is built on the antiquated notion of individuality and the suburban
notion of individuality and the suburban
notion of individuality and the suburban American Dream but what if we look at
American Dream but what if we look at
American Dream but what if we look at housing that is designed around the
housing that is designed around the
housing that is designed around the notion and our fundamental needs for
notion and our fundamental needs for
notion and our fundamental needs for community and social interaction the
community and social interaction the
community and social interaction the communal homes can help with splitting
communal homes can help with splitting
communal homes can help with splitting expenses maintaining a lifestyle and
expenses maintaining a lifestyle and
expenses maintaining a lifestyle and providing that community all three
providing that community all three
providing that community all three things are so important when we are
things are so important when we are
things are so important when we are going through tough times in our lives
going through tough times in our lives
going through tough times in our lives another example of getting with the
another example of getting with the
another example of getting with the times is that we are living in what they
times is that we are living in what they
times is that we are living in what they call the gig economy side hustles are
call the gig economy side hustles are
call the gig economy side hustles are becoming the new norm with bringing
becoming the new norm with bringing
becoming the new norm with bringing opportunity for additional income at our
opportunity for additional income at our
opportunity for additional income at our fingertips driving blogging renting
fingertips driving blogging renting
fingertips driving blogging renting things out selling things on Etsy there
things out selling things on Etsy there
things out selling things on Etsy there are all ways that you can shape things
are all ways that you can shape things
are all ways that you can shape things around your lifestyle and things you
around your lifestyle and things you
around your lifestyle and things you enjoy doing and that you’re good at
enjoy doing and that you’re good at
enjoy doing and that you’re good at these are just two examples of some
these are just two examples of some
these are just two examples of some things that are available to us now that
things that are available to us now that
things that are available to us now that weren’t available to us 20 years ago
weren’t available to us 20 years ago
weren’t available to us 20 years ago being able to just simply know that they
being able to just simply know that they
being able to just simply know that they exist can help us shape a different
exist can help us shape a different
exist can help us shape a different definition of how we approach our next
definition of how we approach our next
definition of how we approach our next chapter the third area is around
chapter the third area is around
chapter the third area is around rebuilding our community and what I mean
rebuilding our community and what I mean
rebuilding our community and what I mean by community is simply your friend
by community is simply your friend
by community is simply your friend circle and the people that you surround
circle and the people that you surround
circle and the people that you surround yourself with because rest assured this
yourself with because rest assured this
yourself with because rest assured this will get shaken up if you go through a
will get shaken up if you go through a
will get shaken up if you go through a divorce and it’s something you just have
divorce and it’s something you just have
divorce and it’s something you just have to be prepared for I remember a time
to be prepared for I remember a time
to be prepared for I remember a time shortly after our divorce when I sent a
shortly after our divorce when I sent a
shortly after our divorce when I sent a text message to a group of moms to have
text message to a group of moms to have
text message to a group of moms to have a play dates and no one responded but I
a play dates and no one responded but I
a play dates and no one responded but I didn’t think anything of it
didn’t think anything of it
didn’t think anything of it and a few days later I sent another text
and a few days later I sent another text
and a few days later I sent another text and again no response and I had this
and again no response and I had this
and again no response and I had this silly aha moment where I thought my
silly aha moment where I thought my
silly aha moment where I thought my phone has being so slow and wonky I need
phone has being so slow and wonky I need
phone has being so slow and wonky I need to restart it and sure enough when I
to restart it and sure enough when I
to restart it and sure enough when I turned my phone back on the text
turned my phone back on the text
turned my phone back on the text messages did not come flooding in as I
messages did not come flooding in as I
messages did not come flooding in as I was expecting them to and I felt really
was expecting them to and I felt really
was expecting them to and I felt really sorry for myself and I’ve spent a couple
sorry for myself and I’ve spent a couple
sorry for myself and I’ve spent a couple days shutting some tears and I decided
days shutting some tears and I decided
days shutting some tears and I decided that it was high time to change my own
that it was high time to change my own
that it was high time to change my own narrative and it was time to reshape my
narrative and it was time to reshape my
narrative and it was time to reshape my circle I was going to focus on the
circle I was going to focus on the
circle I was going to focus on the relationships that I felt good about and
relationships that I felt good about and
relationships that I felt good about and not focus on the ones that made me feel
not focus on the ones that made me feel
not focus on the ones that made me feel bad or brought in negativity and I had
bad or brought in negativity and I had
bad or brought in negativity and I had reconnect with friends I had lost touch
reconnect with friends I had lost touch
reconnect with friends I had lost touch with and then I was going to dig deep
with and then I was going to dig deep
with and then I was going to dig deep and make some new friends
and make some new friends
and make some new friends and I like to I like anit to the
and I like to I like anit to the
and I like to I like anit to the Wardrobe refresh of the early 2000s to
Wardrobe refresh of the early 2000s to
Wardrobe refresh of the early 2000s to 2017 because you may need to go in there
2017 because you may need to go in there
2017 because you may need to go in there and dig through that closet and pull out
and dig through that closet and pull out
and dig through that closet and pull out all those pairs of Express work pants
all those pairs of Express work pants
all those pairs of Express work pants that were the foundation of your
that were the foundation of your
that were the foundation of your wardrobe but you need to hold on to that
wardrobe but you need to hold on to that
wardrobe but you need to hold on to that one pair of pants from theory that fits
one pair of pants from theory that fits
one pair of pants from theory that fits you really well and then slowly and
you really well and then slowly and
you really well and then slowly and deliberately you add back in new pieces
deliberately you add back in new pieces
deliberately you add back in new pieces pieces of high quality that fit you well
pieces of high quality that fit you well
pieces of high quality that fit you well and make you feel confident in who you
and make you feel confident in who you
and make you feel confident in who you are reshaping your community is a really
are reshaping your community is a really
are reshaping your community is a really cool area because you have some control
cool area because you have some control
cool area because you have some control here you’re the one in charge and you’re
here you’re the one in charge and you’re
here you’re the one in charge and you’re in the driver’s seat of who you surround
in the driver’s seat of who you surround
in the driver’s seat of who you surround yourself with but it’s not a passive
yourself with but it’s not a passive
yourself with but it’s not a passive area it might take you talking to more
area it might take you talking to more
area it might take you talking to more people than you normally would and being
people than you normally would and being
people than you normally would and being a little bit vulnerable asking the moms
a little bit vulnerable asking the moms
a little bit vulnerable asking the moms at school for coffee or trying to host a
at school for coffee or trying to host a
at school for coffee or trying to host a party and then praying that people show
party and then praying that people show
party and then praying that people show up but it can be a fundamental change in
up but it can be a fundamental change in
up but it can be a fundamental change in how you live your life and how you feel
simon Sinek has said before we can build
simon Sinek has said before we can build the world we want to live in we have to
the world we want to live in we have to
the world we want to live in we have to imagine it so now I want you to imagine
imagine it so now I want you to imagine
imagine it so now I want you to imagine it imagine this there is no bridge that
it imagine this there is no bridge that
it imagine this there is no bridge that the 50% has to cross to leave the land
the 50% has to cross to leave the land
the 50% has to cross to leave the land of the
of the
of the perfect life rather we stay in the land
perfect life rather we stay in the land
perfect life rather we stay in the land of the perfect life and we redefine how
of the perfect life and we redefine how
of the perfect life and we redefine how we live in it we do this by following
we live in it we do this by following
we live in it we do this by following positive role models tapping into the
positive role models tapping into the
positive role models tapping into the trends and technology around us to help
trends and technology around us to help
trends and technology around us to help us maintain a quality of life and
us maintain a quality of life and
us maintain a quality of life and reshaping the neighbors who surround us
reshaping the neighbors who surround us
reshaping the neighbors who surround us to provide more supports and meaning in
to provide more supports and meaning in
to provide more supports and meaning in our lives I believe that when you change
our lives I believe that when you change
our lives I believe that when you change your perception you can change your
your perception you can change your
your perception you can change your experience and this is one experience
experience and this is one experience
experience and this is one experience that is ready for a change
that is ready for a change
that is ready for a change thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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