good morning everyone can you hear me okay
okay
okay so let me just be honest with you I’m
so let me just be honest with you I’m
so let me just be honest with you I’m extremely nervous it’s been about 20
extremely nervous it’s been about 20
extremely nervous it’s been about 20 years since I’ve been in high school
years since I’ve been in high school
years since I’ve been in high school more than 20 actually and when I was
more than 20 actually and when I was
more than 20 actually and when I was approached to do this talk I had a lot
approached to do this talk I had a lot
approached to do this talk I had a lot of things you know what can I talk about
of things you know what can I talk about
of things you know what can I talk about a lot of real scientific things that I
a lot of real scientific things that I
a lot of real scientific things that I thought it might be interesting to you
thought it might be interesting to you
thought it might be interesting to you all and then sort of maybe about a month
all and then sort of maybe about a month
all and then sort of maybe about a month before I thought you were in school all
before I thought you were in school all
before I thought you were in school all day you hear about science you hear
day you hear about science you hear
day you hear about science you hear about math what would I have liked to
about math what would I have liked to
about math what would I have liked to know about when I was in high school
know about when I was in high school
know about when I was in high school what had I wish someone had talked to me
what had I wish someone had talked to me
what had I wish someone had talked to me more about as I started to move through
more about as I started to move through
more about as I started to move through my career as I started to look more into
my career as I started to look more into
my career as I started to look more into what I wanted to be five years down the
what I wanted to be five years down the
what I wanted to be five years down the road ten years down a road etc so this
road ten years down a road etc so this
road ten years down a road etc so this idea came to my confidence I wish
idea came to my confidence I wish
idea came to my confidence I wish someone had talked to me more about how
someone had talked to me more about how
someone had talked to me more about how to just really accept where I am where
to just really accept where I am where
to just really accept where I am where I’m going how I look because that was
I’m going how I look because that was
I’m going how I look because that was the key to really give me the trajectory
the key to really give me the trajectory
the key to really give me the trajectory of pursuing my dreams pursuing my goals
of pursuing my dreams pursuing my goals
of pursuing my dreams pursuing my goals so the title of my talk is learning to
so the title of my talk is learning to
so the title of my talk is learning to love you’re perfectly imperfect self
love you’re perfectly imperfect self
love you’re perfectly imperfect self pull your own words right how can you be
pull your own words right how can you be
pull your own words right how can you be perfectly imperfect with all the
perfectly imperfect with all the
perfectly imperfect with all the messages that we get especially as young
messages that we get especially as young
messages that we get especially as young women in the media of how you should
women in the media of how you should
women in the media of how you should look how you should act even from a
look how you should act even from a
look how you should act even from a young age a lot of times girls are
young age a lot of times girls are
young age a lot of times girls are groomed to be the perfect lady what is
groomed to be the perfect lady what is
groomed to be the perfect lady what is the perfect lady that’s the perfect lady
the perfect lady that’s the perfect lady
the perfect lady that’s the perfect lady wear stockings all the time that’s the
wear stockings all the time that’s the
wear stockings all the time that’s the perfect lady
perfect lady
perfect lady wear sneakers with their dresses there
wear sneakers with their dresses there
wear sneakers with their dresses there are so many images today that conflict
are so many images today that conflict
are so many images today that conflict with ideas of how you should look how
with ideas of how you should look how
with ideas of how you should look how you should be and if you don’t fit into
you should be and if you don’t fit into
you should be and if you don’t fit into those molds how do you navigate your
those molds how do you navigate your
those molds how do you navigate your life to really accept yourself to really
life to really accept yourself to really
life to really accept yourself to really love who you are so for being
love who you are so for being
love who you are so for being interestingly started with my
interestingly started with my
interestingly started with my my hair of all things was the gateway to
my hair of all things was the gateway to
my hair of all things was the gateway to getting me to accept myself for who I am
getting me to accept myself for who I am
getting me to accept myself for who I am now from a very very young age my hair
now from a very very young age my hair
now from a very very young age my hair was chemically altered straightening I
was chemically altered straightening I
was chemically altered straightening I had very very thick bushy curly curly
had very very thick bushy curly curly
had very very thick bushy curly curly hair so my mother she started
hair so my mother she started
hair so my mother she started straightening my hair with a hot comb
straightening my hair with a hot comb
straightening my hair with a hot comb that’s something that’s very common in
that’s something that’s very common in
that’s something that’s very common in the black community especially women my
the black community especially women my
the black community especially women my age like one of my agent older the
age like one of my agent older the
age like one of my agent older the younger generation you had the
younger generation you had the
younger generation you had the opportunity to have electric hot comb
opportunity to have electric hot comb
opportunity to have electric hot comb but me every Saturday night my mom would
but me every Saturday night my mom would
but me every Saturday night my mom would take out that iron hot comb place it on
take out that iron hot comb place it on
take out that iron hot comb place it on the stove oil my hair and I knew it was
the stove oil my hair and I knew it was
the stove oil my hair and I knew it was coming I could feel that heat getting
coming I could feel that heat getting
coming I could feel that heat getting closer and closer to my ear and just as
closer and closer to my ear and just as
closer and closer to my ear and just as I heard the singe and went through so my
I heard the singe and went through so my
I heard the singe and went through so my hair would go from maybe being this
hair would go from maybe being this
hair would go from maybe being this length to this length and I felt
length to this length and I felt
length to this length and I felt fabulous now part of this was done a
fabulous now part of this was done a
fabulous now part of this was done a because I had very unruly hair and it’s
because I had very unruly hair and it’s
because I had very unruly hair and it’s a time to detangle all of that in the
a time to detangle all of that in the
a time to detangle all of that in the morning and be I felt confident or what
morning and be I felt confident or what
morning and be I felt confident or what I thought was confident I was made fun
I thought was confident I was made fun
I thought was confident I was made fun of a lot where I grew up there really
of a lot where I grew up there really
of a lot where I grew up there really wasn’t a lot of girls that had curly
wasn’t a lot of girls that had curly
wasn’t a lot of girls that had curly curly quote-unquote nappy hair like I
curly quote-unquote nappy hair like I
curly quote-unquote nappy hair like I did so I thought having straight hair
did so I thought having straight hair
did so I thought having straight hair was a means of acceptance now the
was a means of acceptance now the
was a means of acceptance now the problem with the straightening comb is
problem with the straightening comb is
problem with the straightening comb is it applies heat but as soon as you go
it applies heat but as soon as you go
it applies heat but as soon as you go out in the rain as soon as you break the
out in the rain as soon as you break the
out in the rain as soon as you break the sweat running and playing around your
sweat running and playing around your
sweat running and playing around your hair goes from this back to this and
hair goes from this back to this and
hair goes from this back to this and sometimes even a little bigger if it’s
sometimes even a little bigger if it’s
sometimes even a little bigger if it’s raining outside or there’s humidity so
raining outside or there’s humidity so
raining outside or there’s humidity so my mom advanced to come
my mom advanced to come
my mom advanced to come go straighten the problem with chemical
go straighten the problem with chemical
go straighten the problem with chemical straightening is it semi-permanently
straightening is it semi-permanently
straightening is it semi-permanently alters the entire hair structure
alters the entire hair structure
alters the entire hair structure relaxing perms relaxes the hair now I
relaxing perms relaxes the hair now I
relaxing perms relaxes the hair now I had my first relaxer when I was 13 years
had my first relaxer when I was 13 years
had my first relaxer when I was 13 years old and I remember that moment almost
old and I remember that moment almost
old and I remember that moment almost like yesterday because I cried the
like yesterday because I cried the
like yesterday because I cried the entire time the fumes the smell
entire time the fumes the smell
entire time the fumes the smell what is this burning why is it supposed
what is this burning why is it supposed
what is this burning why is it supposed to burn i wouldn’t prefer having the
to burn i wouldn’t prefer having the
to burn i wouldn’t prefer having the sizzling hot comb a millimeter away from
sizzling hot comb a millimeter away from
sizzling hot comb a millimeter away from my ear then having this chemical thick
my ear then having this chemical thick
my ear then having this chemical thick cream applied to my harris cow only for
cream applied to my harris cow only for
cream applied to my harris cow only for it to look straight and stay straight
it to look straight and stay straight
it to look straight and stay straight longer but then have to deal with scat
longer but then have to deal with scat
longer but then have to deal with scat on my cow to deal with the tenderness I
still have a spot in my scalp today
still have a spot in my scalp today that’s tender from a perm gone wrong so
all of these things were done over
all of these things were done over course about ten years every six weeks
course about ten years every six weeks
course about ten years every six weeks like clockwork
like clockwork
like clockwork I was in that chair getting that hit
I was in that chair getting that hit
I was in that chair getting that hit getting that hair perm because again it
getting that hair perm because again it
getting that hair perm because again it was something about myself that I felt I
was something about myself that I felt I
was something about myself that I felt I had to do to build my confidence even
had to do to build my confidence even
had to do to build my confidence even though I didn’t like it it’d be one
though I didn’t like it it’d be one
though I didn’t like it it’d be one thing if I was looking forward to it but
thing if I was looking forward to it but
thing if I was looking forward to it but on that six week I dread it getting my
on that six week I dread it getting my
on that six week I dread it getting my hair done yes I loved it afterwards but
hair done yes I loved it afterwards but
hair done yes I loved it afterwards but the whole entire process I hated it and
the whole entire process I hated it and
the whole entire process I hated it and I thought why can’t people just like me
I thought why can’t people just like me
I thought why can’t people just like me for what I am so now fast forward to
for what I am so now fast forward to
for what I am so now fast forward to 2003 I graduate with my doctorate degree
2003 I graduate with my doctorate degree
2003 I graduate with my doctorate degree freshen hand I’m coming up to Baltimore
freshen hand I’m coming up to Baltimore
freshen hand I’m coming up to Baltimore to do my first doctoral residency and I
to do my first doctoral residency and I
to do my first doctoral residency and I said I have to
said I have to
said I have to good I have to really make a good
good I have to really make a good
good I have to really make a good impression on these people
impression on these people
impression on these people yes scored high on my SATs getting into
yes scored high on my SATs getting into
yes scored high on my SATs getting into height in college I was at the top of my
height in college I was at the top of my
height in college I was at the top of my class graduating magna laude but I
class graduating magna laude but I
class graduating magna laude but I thought you know they really take it
thought you know they really take it
thought you know they really take it over the edge I’m going to get my hair
over the edge I’m going to get my hair
over the edge I’m going to get my hair cut and permed of course into this real
cut and permed of course into this real
cut and permed of course into this real cute Halle Berry lifestyle right I look
cute Halle Berry lifestyle right I look
cute Halle Berry lifestyle right I look nothing like Halle Berry as you all can
nothing like Halle Berry as you all can
nothing like Halle Berry as you all can see but if I could pull the hair off
see but if I could pull the hair off
see but if I could pull the hair off that will give me the confidence that I
that will give me the confidence that I
that will give me the confidence that I need so I had this haircut and a couple
need so I had this haircut and a couple
need so I had this haircut and a couple months into my residency I thought you
months into my residency I thought you
months into my residency I thought you know what I’m going to kick this up a
know what I’m going to kick this up a
know what I’m going to kick this up a notch I’m going to add some color to it
notch I’m going to add some color to it
notch I’m going to add some color to it as well problem with that was as a
as well problem with that was as a
as well problem with that was as a resident I was not didn’t have a lot of
resident I was not didn’t have a lot of
resident I was not didn’t have a lot of cash in the bank let’s just say that so
cash in the bank let’s just say that so
cash in the bank let’s just say that so how could I cut corners well I figured
how could I cut corners well I figured
how could I cut corners well I figured hey maybe I could do my own perm at home
hey maybe I could do my own perm at home
hey maybe I could do my own perm at home and B why don’t I just color my hair too
and B why don’t I just color my hair too
and B why don’t I just color my hair too I mean I’m a smart girl I have an
I mean I’m a smart girl I have an
I mean I’m a smart girl I have an advanced chemistry degree I can read
advanced chemistry degree I can read
advanced chemistry degree I can read directions big mistake
directions big mistake
directions big mistake oh my god no was exactly what happened
oh my god no was exactly what happened
oh my god no was exactly what happened when I rest my hair out patches of hair
when I rest my hair out patches of hair
when I rest my hair out patches of hair was in my kitchen sink I had a burn in
was in my kitchen sink I had a burn in
was in my kitchen sink I had a burn in my scalp that looked like someone apply
my scalp that looked like someone apply
my scalp that looked like someone apply to iron to it like how did that even
to iron to it like how did that even
to iron to it like how did that even happen so I thought okay this is
happen so I thought okay this is
happen so I thought okay this is Saturday night I have to fix this before
Saturday night I have to fix this before
Saturday night I have to fix this before Monday morning
Monday morning
Monday morning we’ve to the rescue
so I searched all over I found someone
so I searched all over I found someone to braid my hair with the stinking
to braid my hair with the stinking
to braid my hair with the stinking extensions
extensions
extensions go back to work Monday like nothing
go back to work Monday like nothing
go back to work Monday like nothing happened even though my Scott was on
happened even though my Scott was on
happened even though my Scott was on fire so over the course of about a year
fire so over the course of about a year
fire so over the course of about a year in my residency I kept getting my hair
in my residency I kept getting my hair
in my residency I kept getting my hair braided with extensions and I want to
braided with extensions and I want to
braided with extensions and I want to say close to the end when my hair had
say close to the end when my hair had
say close to the end when my hair had grown out a little bit more I thought
grown out a little bit more I thought
grown out a little bit more I thought you know what gosh I like my hair and
you know what gosh I like my hair and
you know what gosh I like my hair and I’ve been the first time that I had seen
I’ve been the first time that I had seen
I’ve been the first time that I had seen my natural hair my god-given natural
my natural hair my god-given natural
my natural hair my god-given natural hair that grew out of my scalp and over
hair that grew out of my scalp and over
hair that grew out of my scalp and over ten years ten years so a lot changes
ten years ten years so a lot changes
ten years ten years so a lot changes when you’re a young impressionable girl
when you’re a young impressionable girl
when you’re a young impressionable girl to a woman and I thought you know what I
to a woman and I thought you know what I
to a woman and I thought you know what I like this
like this
like this so I started cutting some of the the
so I started cutting some of the the
so I started cutting some of the the perm ends off and I was left with this
perm ends off and I was left with this
perm ends off and I was left with this really soft very thick very short afro
really soft very thick very short afro
really soft very thick very short afro and I was thinking you know what this is
and I was thinking you know what this is
and I was thinking you know what this is not so bad and I don’t even need all
not so bad and I don’t even need all
not so bad and I don’t even need all these products to keep it up I really
these products to keep it up I really
these products to keep it up I really like my hair I don’t have money anyway
like my hair I don’t have money anyway
like my hair I don’t have money anyway to keep getting my hair done three
to keep getting my hair done three
to keep getting my hair done three hundred dollars you know every six weeks
hundred dollars you know every six weeks
hundred dollars you know every six weeks and I’m a poor resident eating ramen
and I’m a poor resident eating ramen
and I’m a poor resident eating ramen noodles still yes I have a doctorate
noodles still yes I have a doctorate
noodles still yes I have a doctorate degree but I’m still struggling so yeah
degree but I’m still struggling so yeah
degree but I’m still struggling so yeah I can use my $300 to save money to do
I can use my $300 to save money to do
I can use my $300 to save money to do other things that I need it to get done
other things that I need it to get done
other things that I need it to get done forget it I’m going to work like this
forget it I’m going to work like this
forget it I’m going to work like this I’m going to work with my natural hair
I’m going to work with my natural hair
I’m going to work with my natural hair because I really like it so Monday
because I really like it so Monday
because I really like it so Monday morning rolls around I walk into work
morning rolls around I walk into work
morning rolls around I walk into work and I met with shocked
is that you Naomi why did you cut your
is that you Naomi why did you cut your hair oh my god can I touch it
guys it was like I had completely
guys it was like I had completely transformed into a different person I
transformed into a different person I
transformed into a different person I still had on my scrubs I still had on my
still had on my scrubs I still had on my
still had on my scrubs I still had on my name badge I just didn’t have braids
name badge I just didn’t have braids
name badge I just didn’t have braids down to here I just had my natural hair
down to here I just had my natural hair
down to here I just had my natural hair and you know in the past that would have
and you know in the past that would have
and you know in the past that would have definitely definitely done something to
definitely definitely done something to
definitely definitely done something to my spirit but I think something kicked
my spirit but I think something kicked
my spirit but I think something kicked in and was like you know what I don’t
in and was like you know what I don’t
in and was like you know what I don’t care what people think and I like it and
care what people think and I like it and
care what people think and I like it and that’s where my freedom that was the
that’s where my freedom that was the
that’s where my freedom that was the opening door to me really beginning to
opening door to me really beginning to
opening door to me really beginning to explore okay I like this about myself
explore okay I like this about myself
explore okay I like this about myself what are some other things that I enjoy
what are some other things that I enjoy
what are some other things that I enjoy what are some other things that I’m
what are some other things that I’m
what are some other things that I’m having problems with admitting to myself
having problems with admitting to myself
having problems with admitting to myself that’s holding me back one of those
that’s holding me back one of those
that’s holding me back one of those things was my struggle with depression
things was my struggle with depression
things was my struggle with depression and anxiety struggle with anxiety all of
and anxiety struggle with anxiety all of
and anxiety struggle with anxiety all of my life even though I had a little mini
my life even though I had a little mini
my life even though I had a little mini panic attack walking up so there were
panic attack walking up so there were
panic attack walking up so there were little things that I would read about
little things that I would read about
little things that I would read about that I would you know hear from other
that I would you know hear from other
that I would you know hear from other people that I started exploring so I
people that I started exploring so I
people that I started exploring so I forgot all about this like but this is
forgot all about this like but this is
forgot all about this like but this is just to show you how free I feel I’ve
just to show you how free I feel I’ve
just to show you how free I feel I’ve had my hair of various styles and these
had my hair of various styles and these
had my hair of various styles and these are recent pictures the picture on the
are recent pictures the picture on the
are recent pictures the picture on the right is from December I believe and my
right is from December I believe and my
right is from December I believe and my Baldy is from Joe so getting that accept
Baldy is from Joe so getting that accept
Baldy is from Joe so getting that accept it allowed me to explore other things to
it allowed me to explore other things to
it allowed me to explore other things to help me heal with other issues as I said
help me heal with other issues as I said
help me heal with other issues as I said before depression anxiety ten years ago
before depression anxiety ten years ago
before depression anxiety ten years ago I began practicing yoga at a time where
I began practicing yoga at a time where
I began practicing yoga at a time where a there wasn’t a lot of black women
a there wasn’t a lot of black women
a there wasn’t a lot of black women practicing yoga and be definitely
practicing yoga and be definitely
practicing yoga and be definitely plus-sized women in general were not
plus-sized women in general were not
plus-sized women in general were not practicing yoga or being open about it
practicing yoga or being open about it
practicing yoga or being open about it so the more I began to explore those
so the more I began to explore those
so the more I began to explore those things the more began to learn other
things the more began to learn other
things the more began to learn other modes of spirituality I’m a Reiki
modes of spirituality I’m a Reiki
modes of spirituality I’m a Reiki practitioner I work with energy it began
practitioner I work with energy it began
practitioner I work with energy it began to
to
to we built my confidence more and more and
we built my confidence more and more and
we built my confidence more and more and yes I excelled in the workplace and I
yes I excelled in the workplace and I
yes I excelled in the workplace and I continue to excel in the workplace but
continue to excel in the workplace but
continue to excel in the workplace but having that confidence as my foundation
having that confidence as my foundation
having that confidence as my foundation was key now I know you may be thinking
was key now I know you may be thinking
was key now I know you may be thinking well you know you’re older you know you
well you know you’re older you know you
well you know you’re older you know you have degrees behind your name you’ve had
have degrees behind your name you’ve had
have degrees behind your name you’ve had time to figure this out and all of
time to figure this out and all of
time to figure this out and all of that’s true but to be honest I’m still
that’s true but to be honest I’m still
that’s true but to be honest I’m still figuring it out because as you grow up
figuring it out because as you grow up
figuring it out because as you grow up each and every one of you you will have
each and every one of you you will have
each and every one of you you will have changes you will have things that happen
changes you will have things that happen
changes you will have things that happen that come from out of left field you’ll
that come from out of left field you’ll
that come from out of left field you’ll have people telling you what you can and
have people telling you what you can and
have people telling you what you can and can’t do you will continuously have
can’t do you will continuously have
can’t do you will continuously have images blown across the screen across
images blown across the screen across
images blown across the screen across your facebook timelines of how you
your facebook timelines of how you
your facebook timelines of how you should look but here’s the difference
should look but here’s the difference
should look but here’s the difference here’s what I wish I had known 22 years
here’s what I wish I had known 22 years
here’s what I wish I had known 22 years ago how can I continuously look in the
ago how can I continuously look in the
ago how can I continuously look in the mirror how can I continuously feel
mirror how can I continuously feel
mirror how can I continuously feel comfortable with what I see so one thing
comfortable with what I see so one thing
comfortable with what I see so one thing that has really helped me from the
that has really helped me from the
that has really helped me from the beginning is journaling my feelings
beginning is journaling my feelings
beginning is journaling my feelings sometimes it’s hard to talk to your
sometimes it’s hard to talk to your
sometimes it’s hard to talk to your parents sometimes it’s hard to even talk
parents sometimes it’s hard to even talk
parents sometimes it’s hard to even talk to your best friend but that paper will
to your best friend but that paper will
to your best friend but that paper will be there for you no matter what you can
be there for you no matter what you can
be there for you no matter what you can write how you feel good or bad even tear
write how you feel good or bad even tear
write how you feel good or bad even tear it up burn it when you’re done or save
it up burn it when you’re done or save
it up burn it when you’re done or save it to read later on but the first thing
it to read later on but the first thing
it to read later on but the first thing I think with getting to really accept
I think with getting to really accept
I think with getting to really accept yourself as to write about how you feel
yourself as to write about how you feel
yourself as to write about how you feel another modality I think that has best
another modality I think that has best
another modality I think that has best helped me and other girls that I’ve
helped me and other girls that I’ve
helped me and other girls that I’ve mentored in the past is something called
mentored in the past is something called
mentored in the past is something called mirror work this is so hard if you
mirror work this is so hard if you
mirror work this is so hard if you haven’t done it before and it was very
haven’t done it before and it was very
haven’t done it before and it was very very hard for me when I first started
very hard for me when I first started
very hard for me when I first started look in the mirror instead of saying
look in the mirror instead of saying
look in the mirror instead of saying something negative say something
something negative say something
something negative say something positive if you don’t have anything
positive if you don’t have anything
positive if you don’t have anything positive to say about yourself it
positive to say about yourself it
positive to say about yourself it doesn’t even have to be physical just
doesn’t even have to be physical just
doesn’t even have to be physical just smile just smile and little by little
smile just smile and little by little
smile just smile and little by little things will begin to fall in place
things will begin to fall in place
things will begin to fall in place you’ll start with your smile your smile
you’ll start with your smile your smile
you’ll start with your smile your smile will work up to your eyes
will work up to your eyes
will work up to your eyes you’ll notice your hair whatever it is
you’ll notice your hair whatever it is
you’ll notice your hair whatever it is about you that you have had problems
about you that you have had problems
about you that you have had problems with in the past accepting those things
with in the past accepting those things
with in the past accepting those things will begin to change and you’ll be able
will begin to change and you’ll be able
will begin to change and you’ll be able to see yourself in a new light because
to see yourself in a new light because
to see yourself in a new light because let’s face it no one here is perfect no
let’s face it no one here is perfect no
let’s face it no one here is perfect no one not even the celebrities we all have
one not even the celebrities we all have
one not even the celebrities we all have our issues so I just like to end with
our issues so I just like to end with
our issues so I just like to end with the lorax it’s cheesy as this may sound
the lorax it’s cheesy as this may sound
the lorax it’s cheesy as this may sound but it’s the truth
but it’s the truth
but it’s the truth why fit in when you were born to stand
why fit in when you were born to stand
why fit in when you were born to stand out
”
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