at a room in a hospital for the terminally ill there were two gentlemen
terminally ill there were two gentlemen
terminally ill there were two gentlemen they shared this room they did not know
they shared this room they did not know
they shared this room they did not know each other before they were admitted to
each other before they were admitted to
each other before they were admitted to this hospital but as it is the case for
this hospital but as it is the case for
this hospital but as it is the case for people when they are put together when
people when they are put together when
people when they are put together when they are faced with similar challenges
they are faced with similar challenges
they are faced with similar challenges they started a relationship so we
they started a relationship so we
they started a relationship so we started to talk about their lives their
started to talk about their lives their
started to talk about their lives their jobs the families the places that they
jobs the families the places that they
jobs the families the places that they went to the triumphs the failures they
went to the triumphs the failures they
went to the triumphs the failures they became friends this room had one window
became friends this room had one window
became friends this room had one window so one of the gentlemen had his bed next
so one of the gentlemen had his bed next
so one of the gentlemen had his bed next to that window and every day at around
to that window and every day at around
to that window and every day at around noon the nurse would come and sit that
noon the nurse would come and sit that
noon the nurse would come and sit that gentleman up to drain the fluid from his
gentleman up to drain the fluid from his
gentleman up to drain the fluid from his lungs and that would be the time where
lungs and that would be the time where
lungs and that would be the time where he will be looking through the window it
he will be looking through the window it
he will be looking through the window it just so happened that this window was
just so happened that this window was
just so happened that this window was overseeing a beautiful lake I want you
overseeing a beautiful lake I want you
overseeing a beautiful lake I want you to imagine that lake it’s so serene so
to imagine that lake it’s so serene so
to imagine that lake it’s so serene so calm that the Rays of the Sun was
calm that the Rays of the Sun was
calm that the Rays of the Sun was reflecting over its surface as they
reflecting over its surface as they
reflecting over its surface as they reflect over a silver mirror there were
reflect over a silver mirror there were
reflect over a silver mirror there were things happening every day at that lake
things happening every day at that lake
things happening every day at that lake and the gentleman next to the window
and the gentleman next to the window
and the gentleman next to the window used to narrate what is happening
used to narrate what is happening
used to narrate what is happening outside to his friend this time at noon
outside to his friend this time at noon
outside to his friend this time at noon became a cherished time they both waited
became a cherished time they both waited
became a cherished time they both waited for it and the gentleman next to the
for it and the gentleman next to the
for it and the gentleman next to the window used to tell these stories about
window used to tell these stories about
window used to tell these stories about the parade’s are going around the music
the parade’s are going around the music
the parade’s are going around the music that’s going around the beautiful and
that’s going around the beautiful and
that’s going around the beautiful and colorful balloons the children that they
colorful balloons the children that they
colorful balloons the children that they are playing the lovers strolling hand in
are playing the lovers strolling hand in
are playing the lovers strolling hand in hand the happiness the beauty and the
hand the happiness the beauty and the
hand the happiness the beauty and the the other person was inside even
the other person was inside even
the other person was inside even when he cannot hear the music he can
when he cannot hear the music he can
when he cannot hear the music he can imagine the music in his in his head he
imagine the music in his in his head he
imagine the music in his in his head he could actually see the vivid colors of
could actually see the vivid colors of
could actually see the vivid colors of the colorful balloons as his friend
the colorful balloons as his friend
the colorful balloons as his friend tells him about what’s happening out
tells him about what’s happening out
tells him about what’s happening out there
there
there it became an oasis of normalcy in in the
it became an oasis of normalcy in in the
it became an oasis of normalcy in in the midst of this pain and tubes and and and
midst of this pain and tubes and and and
midst of this pain and tubes and and and medicine and bitterness and so on
medicine and bitterness and so on
medicine and bitterness and so on one day the nurse came in the morning
one day the nurse came in the morning
one day the nurse came in the morning and she was checking on the gentleman
and she was checking on the gentleman
and she was checking on the gentleman next to the window and he was dead
next to the window and he was dead
next to the window and he was dead now that was expected they were both
now that was expected they were both
now that was expected they were both terminally ill but they felt very sad
terminally ill but they felt very sad
terminally ill but they felt very sad nonetheless anyway the other person and
nonetheless anyway the other person and
nonetheless anyway the other person and as soon as it was appropriate he called
as soon as it was appropriate he called
as soon as it was appropriate he called an SS a nurse could you please move my
an SS a nurse could you please move my
an SS a nurse could you please move my bed next to the window and indeed his
bed next to the window and indeed his
bed next to the window and indeed his request was granted at around noon that
request was granted at around noon that
request was granted at around noon that day with a lot of pain
day with a lot of pain
day with a lot of pain this gentleman managed to sit up and he
this gentleman managed to sit up and he
this gentleman managed to sit up and he looked through the window and to his
looked through the window and to his
looked through the window and to his surprise there was a wall so he called
surprise there was a wall so he called
surprise there was a wall so he called the nurse and say nurse
the nurse and say nurse
the nurse and say nurse when did you erect this wall she said
when did you erect this wall she said
when did you erect this wall she said this hole has always been there he was
this hole has always been there he was
this hole has always been there he was puzzled he said but the gentleman he was
puzzled he said but the gentleman he was
puzzled he said but the gentleman he was telling me all these beautiful stories
telling me all these beautiful stories
telling me all these beautiful stories about whatever is happening out there
about whatever is happening out there
about whatever is happening out there she said do you mean you did not know
she said do you mean you did not know
she said do you mean you did not know that he was blind now maybe some of you
that he was blind now maybe some of you
that he was blind now maybe some of you have heard this story and that’s not the
have heard this story and that’s not the
have heard this story and that’s not the point
point
point the point that I’m trying to make is
the point that I’m trying to make is
the point that I’m trying to make is while I was narrating the story I was
while I was narrating the story I was
while I was narrating the story I was feeding you words your brain has used my
feeding you words your brain has used my
feeding you words your brain has used my words to build a world inside your head
words to build a world inside your head
words to build a world inside your head I bet when I was talking about the
I bet when I was talking about the
I bet when I was talking about the balloons you imagined balloons in your
balloons you imagined balloons in your
balloons you imagined balloons in your head different balloons nonetheless but
head different balloons nonetheless but
head different balloons nonetheless but you have created each and every one of
you have created each and every one of
you have created each and every one of you has created the world inside your
you has created the world inside your
you has created the world inside your head and this is a tree the power
head and this is a tree the power
head and this is a tree the power stories probably the one thing that
stories probably the one thing that
stories probably the one thing that differentiates us from other creatures
differentiates us from other creatures
differentiates us from other creatures on this earth is our ability to tell
on this earth is our ability to tell
on this earth is our ability to tell believe and create stories stories are
believe and create stories stories are
believe and create stories stories are so important and they are an essential
so important and they are an essential
so important and they are an essential part of who we are as individuals as
part of who we are as individuals as
part of who we are as individuals as communities as companies and
communities as companies and
communities as companies and organizations and as even as nations so
organizations and as even as nations so
organizations and as even as nations so the our mind and our brain has many
the our mind and our brain has many
the our mind and our brain has many purposes and jobs well one of them is to
purposes and jobs well one of them is to
purposes and jobs well one of them is to tell stories about who we are and
tell stories about who we are and
tell stories about who we are and stories about how the world works we
stories about how the world works we
stories about how the world works we know now for a fact that this narrative
know now for a fact that this narrative
know now for a fact that this narrative happens in the left side of our brain
happens in the left side of our brain
happens in the left side of our brain now there is another thing that is being
now there is another thing that is being
now there is another thing that is being recognized which is these stories that
recognized which is these stories that
recognized which is these stories that we tell are actually powered by the
we tell are actually powered by the
we tell are actually powered by the language that we use these stories that
language that we use these stories that
language that we use these stories that we tell are powered by the words that we
we tell are powered by the words that we
we tell are powered by the words that we opt to use and there is even a more
opt to use and there is even a more
opt to use and there is even a more powerful thing which is these stories
powerful thing which is these stories
powerful thing which is these stories that we tell can actually lead to the
that we tell can actually lead to the
that we tell can actually lead to the behaviors that we exhibit they lead to
behaviors that we exhibit they lead to
behaviors that we exhibit they lead to the way we manage ourselves they lead to
the way we manage ourselves they lead to
the way we manage ourselves they lead to the way we manage our relationships now
the way we manage our relationships now
the way we manage our relationships now why is this very important and why is
why is this very important and why is
why is this very important and why is it’s very powerful there are a number of
it’s very powerful there are a number of
it’s very powerful there are a number of reasons so if someone is trying to
reasons so if someone is trying to
reasons so if someone is trying to influence you let’s say an advertiser
influence you let’s say an advertiser
influence you let’s say an advertiser they will be feeding you with pictures
they will be feeding you with pictures
they will be feeding you with pictures and words that will make you create a
and words that will make you create a
and words that will make you create a story in your head and the story is I
story in your head and the story is I
story in your head and the story is I need this product I need to buy this
need this product I need to buy this
need this product I need to buy this product and this is indeed the way to
product and this is indeed the way to
product and this is indeed the way to influence people so that’s the first one
influence people so that’s the first one
influence people so that’s the first one the second thing which is very important
the second thing which is very important
the second thing which is very important most of the change programs focused on
most of the change programs focused on
most of the change programs focused on the top part we want to immediately
the top part we want to immediately
the top part we want to immediately change behavior the easiest way to
change behavior the easiest way to
change behavior the easiest way to change
change
change is to either reward or punish but
is to either reward or punish but
is to either reward or punish but without changing the stories that are
without changing the stories that are
without changing the stories that are being told within individuals within
being told within individuals within
being told within individuals within families organizations or even nations
families organizations or even nations
families organizations or even nations you will never have lasting change the
you will never have lasting change the
you will never have lasting change the lasting change can happen only when you
lasting change can happen only when you
lasting change can happen only when you change the stories that are told now
change the stories that are told now
change the stories that are told now this can happen both in a positive way
this can happen both in a positive way
this can happen both in a positive way and also in a negative way so let me
and also in a negative way so let me
and also in a negative way so let me give you some examples you know the
give you some examples you know the
give you some examples you know the Nazis during the Holocaust they used to
Nazis during the Holocaust they used to
Nazis during the Holocaust they used to call the Jews rats so that’s the
call the Jews rats so that’s the
call the Jews rats so that’s the language and that led to narrative and
language and that led to narrative and
language and that led to narrative and rhetoric in the media and within you
rhetoric in the media and within you
rhetoric in the media and within you know the even the intellectual people
know the even the intellectual people
know the even the intellectual people that reduce our cost causing the Germans
that reduce our cost causing the Germans
that reduce our cost causing the Germans all this economic trouble and so on and
all this economic trouble and so on and
all this economic trouble and so on and that only when the the story was changed
that only when the the story was changed
that only when the the story was changed the genocide was was you know enabled
the genocide was was you know enabled
the genocide was was you know enabled this was repeated again and again
this was repeated again and again
this was repeated again and again whenever we had a case of genocide or a
whenever we had a case of genocide or a
whenever we had a case of genocide or a case of enslaving people enslaving other
case of enslaving people enslaving other
case of enslaving people enslaving other people so even in Rwanda the who who to
people so even in Rwanda the who who to
people so even in Rwanda the who who to is used to call the Tutsi cockroaches
is used to call the Tutsi cockroaches
is used to call the Tutsi cockroaches and only then you know you change the
and only then you know you change the
and only then you know you change the stories about them and after that the
stories about them and after that the
stories about them and after that the you know the genocide can take place now
you know the genocide can take place now
you know the genocide can take place now we are actually not helpless in this
we are actually not helpless in this
we are actually not helpless in this process as as human beings there’s
process as as human beings there’s
process as as human beings there’s something that we can do about it and
something that we can do about it and
something that we can do about it and that thing is when we choose to be aware
that thing is when we choose to be aware
that thing is when we choose to be aware of the stories that we are telling and
of the stories that we are telling and
of the stories that we are telling and when we choose to have awareness of
when we choose to have awareness of
when we choose to have awareness of these stories that awareness and that
these stories that awareness and that
these stories that awareness and that examination of the stories that we tell
examination of the stories that we tell
examination of the stories that we tell is called emotional intelligence and the
is called emotional intelligence and the
is called emotional intelligence and the reason I put it in this way is I think
reason I put it in this way is I think
reason I put it in this way is I think our existence happens almost like like
our existence happens almost like like
our existence happens almost like like an iceberg the part that you see over
an iceberg the part that you see over
an iceberg the part that you see over is the regulation and the behavior part
is the regulation and the behavior part
is the regulation and the behavior part but underneath it there is the language
but underneath it there is the language
but underneath it there is the language layer and there is the story layer and
layer and there is the story layer and
layer and there is the story layer and there is the awareness layer this is the
there is the awareness layer this is the
there is the awareness layer this is the language the narrative the awareness and
language the narrative the awareness and
language the narrative the awareness and regulation is how we exist and how we
regulation is how we exist and how we
regulation is how we exist and how we can have more lasting change the top two
can have more lasting change the top two
can have more lasting change the top two layers the awareness and the regulation
layers the awareness and the regulation
layers the awareness and the regulation is called emotional intelligence and one
is called emotional intelligence and one
is called emotional intelligence and one of the people who worked a lot on this
of the people who worked a lot on this
of the people who worked a lot on this is Daniel Goleman and he developed the
is Daniel Goleman and he developed the
is Daniel Goleman and he developed the emotional intelligence model that you
emotional intelligence model that you
emotional intelligence model that you can see on the slide now why is this
can see on the slide now why is this
can see on the slide now why is this important
important
important it’s important for a number of reasons
it’s important for a number of reasons
it’s important for a number of reasons first we know now for a fact that we are
first we know now for a fact that we are
first we know now for a fact that we are happy healthy and successful when we
happy healthy and successful when we
happy healthy and successful when we have good relationships with the people
have good relationships with the people
have good relationships with the people around us so that’s number one
around us so that’s number one
around us so that’s number one and relationship management is the
and relationship management is the
and relationship management is the pinnacle of emotional intelligence now
pinnacle of emotional intelligence now
pinnacle of emotional intelligence now while this is happening we look at
while this is happening we look at
while this is happening we look at what’s going on in the world and we and
what’s going on in the world and we and
what’s going on in the world and we and there it’s a fact that mental illness is
there it’s a fact that mental illness is
there it’s a fact that mental illness is becoming a big issue
becoming a big issue
becoming a big issue suicide is becoming a big issue as a
suicide is becoming a big issue as a
suicide is becoming a big issue as a matter of fact
matter of fact
matter of fact w-h-o is predicting that by 2030 if
w-h-o is predicting that by 2030 if
w-h-o is predicting that by 2030 if nothing is done depression is going to
nothing is done depression is going to
nothing is done depression is going to be number one illness in the world so we
be number one illness in the world so we
be number one illness in the world so we need to do something about that at the
need to do something about that at the
need to do something about that at the same time empathy is actually dropping
same time empathy is actually dropping
same time empathy is actually dropping among let’s say undergraduate students
among let’s say undergraduate students
among let’s say undergraduate students and this is again being very well
and this is again being very well
and this is again being very well documented this is happening at a time
documented this is happening at a time
documented this is happening at a time where we are becoming we are building
where we are becoming we are building
where we are becoming we are building technology that is better than us
technology that is better than us
technology that is better than us physically better than as then as even
physically better than as then as even
physically better than as then as even cognitively and most likely the jobs of
cognitively and most likely the jobs of
cognitively and most likely the jobs of the future are going to require the
the future are going to require the
the future are going to require the final domain in which humans are
final domain in which humans are
final domain in which humans are superior to the machine which is the
superior to the machine which is the
superior to the machine which is the emotional intelligence so we need to do
emotional intelligence so we need to do
emotional intelligence so we need to do something about that
something about that
something about that so we need emotional intelligence to be
so we need emotional intelligence to be
so we need emotional intelligence to be happy we needed to remain healthy
happy we needed to remain healthy
happy we needed to remain healthy probably we needed to remain employed
probably we needed to remain employed
probably we needed to remain employed but we are having issues with our mental
but we are having issues with our mental
but we are having issues with our mental health issues with our relationships and
health issues with our relationships and
health issues with our relationships and other issues with emotional intelligence
other issues with emotional intelligence
other issues with emotional intelligence I decided to do something about that I
I decided to do something about that I
I decided to do something about that I started a massive open online course to
started a massive open online course to
started a massive open online course to teach emotional intelligence and all I
teach emotional intelligence and all I
teach emotional intelligence and all I wanted my students to do is to do very
wanted my students to do is to do very
wanted my students to do is to do very simple exercises I asked them to change
simple exercises I asked them to change
simple exercises I asked them to change their language and utilize more positive
their language and utilize more positive
their language and utilize more positive language I also asked them to show
language I also asked them to show
language I also asked them to show gratitude to each other and to other
gratitude to each other and to other
gratitude to each other and to other people I asked them to mention the five
people I asked them to mention the five
people I asked them to mention the five things that they are grateful for on a
things that they are grateful for on a
things that they are grateful for on a daily basis none of this I created but I
daily basis none of this I created but I
daily basis none of this I created but I put it together in a course and I made
put it together in a course and I made
put it together in a course and I made it
it
it I put structure around it and I gamified
I put structure around it and I gamified
I put structure around it and I gamified it and I encourage students when they
it and I encourage students when they
it and I encourage students when they did it I’ll show you some of the
did it I’ll show you some of the
did it I’ll show you some of the examples that has been achieved so this
examples that has been achieved so this
examples that has been achieved so this is one of my students Luis
is one of my students Luis
is one of my students Luis Esteban he always wanted to climb a
Esteban he always wanted to climb a
Esteban he always wanted to climb a mountain but he couldn’t do it in the in
mountain but he couldn’t do it in the in
mountain but he couldn’t do it in the in a number of trials and after he took the
a number of trials and after he took the
a number of trials and after he took the course and because one of the
course and because one of the
course and because one of the requirement of the course is that you
requirement of the course is that you
requirement of the course is that you removed the P word and the P word is the
removed the P word and the P word is the
removed the P word and the P word is the word P ro BL am I can pronounce it
word P ro BL am I can pronounce it
word P ro BL am I can pronounce it because I removed it from my language he
because I removed it from my language he
because I removed it from my language he needs to replace it with the word
needs to replace it with the word
needs to replace it with the word opportunity and because of this he was
opportunity and because of this he was
opportunity and because of this he was able to finally climb the mountain he
able to finally climb the mountain he
able to finally climb the mountain he took that note with him saying say no to
took that note with him saying say no to
took that note with him saying say no to the P word this has been used even at
the P word this has been used even at
the P word this has been used even at companies and Robert is a CEO of a small
companies and Robert is a CEO of a small
companies and Robert is a CEO of a small technology company in in the United
technology company in in the United
technology company in in the United States and when he does brainstorming
States and when he does brainstorming
States and when he does brainstorming with his staff he asked them to never
with his staff he asked them to never
with his staff he asked them to never mention the P word but replace it with
mention the P word but replace it with
mention the P word but replace it with the word challenge or opportunity and
the word challenge or opportunity and
the word challenge or opportunity and that forced them sort of to reframe
that forced them sort of to reframe
that forced them sort of to reframe their thinking and come up with very
their thinking and come up with very
their thinking and come up with very effective solutions I took this actually
effective solutions I took this actually
effective solutions I took this actually even to the
even to the
even to the to the physical domain so these people
to the physical domain so these people
to the physical domain so these people you see on the picture are the member of
you see on the picture are the member of
you see on the picture are the member of the executive team of my University and
the executive team of my University and
the executive team of my University and they are all pledged not to use their P
they are all pledged not to use their P
they are all pledged not to use their P word not only that we actually pledge
word not only that we actually pledge
word not only that we actually pledge that every time we mention the P word we
that every time we mention the P word we
that every time we mention the P word we are going to put one ring it in a pot
are going to put one ring it in a pot
are going to put one ring it in a pot and we will give that money eventually
and we will give that money eventually
and we will give that money eventually to the to charity we call that the
to the to charity we call that the
to the to charity we call that the Opportunity Fund now in my university we
Opportunity Fund now in my university we
Opportunity Fund now in my university we are trying to teach our students our
are trying to teach our students our
are trying to teach our students our lecturers our staff emotional
lecturers our staff emotional
lecturers our staff emotional intelligence and we are using
intelligence and we are using
intelligence and we are using storytelling to do that we are taking
storytelling to do that we are taking
storytelling to do that we are taking any opportunity to actually create a
any opportunity to actually create a
any opportunity to actually create a resilient empathetic and happy community
resilient empathetic and happy community
resilient empathetic and happy community this picture was taken of me cleaning
this picture was taken of me cleaning
this picture was taken of me cleaning the toilets in my university on the
the toilets in my university on the
the toilets in my university on the world World Toilet Day just last week
world World Toilet Day just last week
world World Toilet Day just last week and the idea was for us to be empathetic
and the idea was for us to be empathetic
and the idea was for us to be empathetic and appreciative of our Genesis we will
and appreciative of our Genesis we will
and appreciative of our Genesis we will do their work for a day this was only
do their work for a day this was only
do their work for a day this was only one of the exercises but we done
one of the exercises but we done
one of the exercises but we done we did other things in which the
we did other things in which the
we did other things in which the students also also participated some
students also also participated some
students also also participated some example different groups of staff and
example different groups of staff and
example different groups of staff and students adopted different toilets they
students adopted different toilets they
students adopted different toilets they clean them they put flowers in them and
clean them they put flowers in them and
clean them they put flowers in them and then we picked the best toilet so I
then we picked the best toilet so I
then we picked the best toilet so I believe that emotional intelligence is
believe that emotional intelligence is
believe that emotional intelligence is very important I think it needs to be
very important I think it needs to be
very important I think it needs to be taught and I think it can be taught I
taught and I think it can be taught I
taught and I think it can be taught I think my course have shown this I also
think my course have shown this I also
think my course have shown this I also believe that in order for us to do this
believe that in order for us to do this
believe that in order for us to do this we will need to change our language our
we will need to change our language our
we will need to change our language our stories create awareness only then we
stories create awareness only then we
stories create awareness only then we check we can change our behavior this is
check we can change our behavior this is
check we can change our behavior this is one of my favorite proverb those who
one of my favorite proverb those who
one of my favorite proverb those who tell the stories rule the world I
tell the stories rule the world I
tell the stories rule the world I believe that life is a story that we
believe that life is a story that we
believe that life is a story that we tell in our
tell in our
tell in our heads I would like you to use the most
heads I would like you to use the most
heads I would like you to use the most positive language to tell the most
positive language to tell the most
positive language to tell the most impactful and powerful story so that may
impactful and powerful story so that may
impactful and powerful story so that may you may lead an amazing and happy life
you may lead an amazing and happy life
you may lead an amazing and happy life dream big be different and have fun
dream big be different and have fun
dream big be different and have fun [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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