my name is Emily Merman I love to read
my name is Emily Merman I love to read watch eighties movies and put outfits
watch eighties movies and put outfits
watch eighties movies and put outfits together I’m currently studying writing
together I’m currently studying writing
together I’m currently studying writing an art at Lake Forest College and I’m a
an art at Lake Forest College and I’m a
an art at Lake Forest College and I’m a seventeen year old senior did that throw
seventeen year old senior did that throw
seventeen year old senior did that throw you off what kinds of words popped into
you off what kinds of words popped into
you off what kinds of words popped into your head genius prodigy gifted I’m not
your head genius prodigy gifted I’m not
your head genius prodigy gifted I’m not doing this talk tonight to tell you
doing this talk tonight to tell you
doing this talk tonight to tell you about my accomplishments though because
about my accomplishments though because
about my accomplishments though because that may only fuel the misconception you
that may only fuel the misconception you
that may only fuel the misconception you might already have of me tonight I’m
might already have of me tonight I’m
might already have of me tonight I’m going to talk about giftedness and the
going to talk about giftedness and the
going to talk about giftedness and the stigma surrounding it because contrary
stigma surrounding it because contrary
stigma surrounding it because contrary to popular belief gifted people aren’t
to popular belief gifted people aren’t
to popular belief gifted people aren’t good at everything and I faced many
good at everything and I faced many
good at everything and I faced many struggles upto beginning college at age
struggles upto beginning college at age
struggles upto beginning college at age 15 I was speaking in three word
15 I was speaking in three word
15 I was speaking in three word sentences before I could walk
sentences before I could walk
sentences before I could walk by 18 months I know all the letters of
by 18 months I know all the letters of
by 18 months I know all the letters of the alphabet and their sounds and by age
the alphabet and their sounds and by age
the alphabet and their sounds and by age 3 I’d taught myself to read spending
3 I’d taught myself to read spending
3 I’d taught myself to read spending most of my time at the library
most of my time at the library
most of my time at the library I checked out about 60 to 80 books a
I checked out about 60 to 80 books a
I checked out about 60 to 80 books a week and I remember beating my record
week and I remember beating my record
week and I remember beating my record with 92 books this is one of my earliest
with 92 books this is one of my earliest
with 92 books this is one of my earliest memories I was for one day when I was 5
memories I was for one day when I was 5
memories I was for one day when I was 5 a stranger approached my mom in the
a stranger approached my mom in the
a stranger approached my mom in the library and said you have a super bright
library and said you have a super bright
library and said you have a super bright on your hands I have one too that day
on your hands I have one too that day
on your hands I have one too that day the gates to the world of giftedness
the gates to the world of giftedness
the gates to the world of giftedness opened this woman invited my mom to a
opened this woman invited my mom to a
opened this woman invited my mom to a meeting in a tiny living room in
meeting in a tiny living room in
meeting in a tiny living room in Evanston where parents of gifted
Evanston where parents of gifted
Evanston where parents of gifted children got together and talked about
children got together and talked about
children got together and talked about everything that comes with that
everything that comes with that
everything that comes with that what does come with that what does a
what does come with that what does a
what does come with that what does a gifted child look like is it the kid in
gifted child look like is it the kid in
gifted child look like is it the kid in all AP classes in high school maybe but
all AP classes in high school maybe but
all AP classes in high school maybe but it may also be the top child who’s
it may also be the top child who’s
it may also be the top child who’s deemed the class clown with no future
deemed the class clown with no future
deemed the class clown with no future giftedness doesn’t necessarily mean a
giftedness doesn’t necessarily mean a
giftedness doesn’t necessarily mean a privileged straight-a student because
privileged straight-a student because
privileged straight-a student because giftedness doesn’t have a face a child’s
giftedness doesn’t have a face a child’s
giftedness doesn’t have a face a child’s cognitive ability can be measured with
cognitive ability can be measured with
cognitive ability can be measured with an IQ test and I accuse our fluid often
an IQ test and I accuse our fluid often
an IQ test and I accuse our fluid often changing as we age so one score
changing as we age so one score
changing as we age so one score shouldn’t be used as measure of lifelong
shouldn’t be used as measure of lifelong
shouldn’t be used as measure of lifelong ability mine has been measured
ability mine has been measured
ability mine has been measured three times a majority of the population
three times a majority of the population
three times a majority of the population places between 110 and 120 giftedness
places between 110 and 120 giftedness
places between 110 and 120 giftedness begins to be measured at 130 I place
begins to be measured at 130 I place
begins to be measured at 130 I place around 160 falling into the 99.9% I’ll
around 160 falling into the 99.9% I’ll
around 160 falling into the 99.9% I’ll where people score at least three
where people score at least three
where people score at least three standard deviations above the norm now
standard deviations above the norm now
standard deviations above the norm now you may be asking well why does IQ even
you may be asking well why does IQ even
you may be asking well why does IQ even need to be measured who cares
need to be measured who cares
need to be measured who cares well IQ is used to determine the child’s
well IQ is used to determine the child’s
well IQ is used to determine the child’s potential just as we may measure the IQ
potential just as we may measure the IQ
potential just as we may measure the IQ of somebody on the lower end of the
of somebody on the lower end of the
of somebody on the lower end of the spectrum to see his or her abilities we
spectrum to see his or her abilities we
spectrum to see his or her abilities we do the same for somebody who’s gifted
do the same for somebody who’s gifted
do the same for somebody who’s gifted like any family member having having a
like any family member having having a
like any family member having having a member with special needs mine was
member with special needs mine was
member with special needs mine was turned upside down my mom sat in that
turned upside down my mom sat in that
turned upside down my mom sat in that meeting and cried finally feeling like
meeting and cried finally feeling like
meeting and cried finally feeling like she was with people who understood what
she was with people who understood what
she was with people who understood what she was going through nobody there was
she was going through nobody there was
she was going through nobody there was going to assume she shoved educational
going to assume she shoved educational
going to assume she shoved educational material down my throat or that her
material down my throat or that her
material down my throat or that her child was a freak no one there was going
child was a freak no one there was going
child was a freak no one there was going to judge her sure that the pace of
to judge her sure that the pace of
to judge her sure that the pace of public school would be too slow my mom
public school would be too slow my mom
public school would be too slow my mom closed her business to devote herself to
closed her business to devote herself to
closed her business to devote herself to homeschooling are you wondering what
homeschooling are you wondering what
homeschooling are you wondering what that looks like that is the completely
that looks like that is the completely
that looks like that is the completely different talk all I can say is that
different talk all I can say is that
different talk all I can say is that homeschooling looked like freedom our
homeschooling looked like freedom our
homeschooling looked like freedom our home school was even named free and had
home school was even named free and had
home school was even named free and had the homemade slogan at home to grow our
the homemade slogan at home to grow our
the homemade slogan at home to grow our minds to this day I still think of my
minds to this day I still think of my
minds to this day I still think of my home school days as the happiest time of
home school days as the happiest time of
home school days as the happiest time of my life often self-studying I had time
my life often self-studying I had time
my life often self-studying I had time to delve into certain subjects as deep
to delve into certain subjects as deep
to delve into certain subjects as deep as I wanted to and I got to go field
as I wanted to and I got to go field
as I wanted to and I got to go field trips to museums Chicago neighborhoods
trips to museums Chicago neighborhoods
trips to museums Chicago neighborhoods writing workshops and nature preserves
writing workshops and nature preserves
writing workshops and nature preserves HSTs an Evanston co-op soon became part
HSTs an Evanston co-op soon became part
HSTs an Evanston co-op soon became part of our lives meetings and get-togethers
of our lives meetings and get-togethers
of our lives meetings and get-togethers and classes for gifted children in soup
and classes for gifted children in soup
and classes for gifted children in soup h s GS gave me an amazing perspective on
h s GS gave me an amazing perspective on
h s GS gave me an amazing perspective on real world diversity there were members
real world diversity there were members
real world diversity there were members of all ages races socio-economic groups
of all ages races socio-economic groups
of all ages races socio-economic groups religions and we were all exposed to
religions and we were all exposed to
religions and we were all exposed to topics such as botany ancient American
topics such as botany ancient American
topics such as botany ancient American history and Shakespeare I was with a
history and Shakespeare I was with a
history and Shakespeare I was with a group of children all falling somewhere
group of children all falling somewhere
group of children all falling somewhere on the gift a spectrum and all willing
on the gift a spectrum and all willing
on the gift a spectrum and all willing to learn
to learn
to learn however math still said as the bane of
however math still said as the bane of
however math still said as the bane of my existence
my existence
my existence I worked through workbooks and
I worked through workbooks and
I worked through workbooks and flashcards and I still didn’t know any
flashcards and I still didn’t know any
flashcards and I still didn’t know any of my math facts so when I began crying
of my math facts so when I began crying
of my math facts so when I began crying every time we had to do math homework my
every time we had to do math homework my
every time we had to do math homework my mom realized that maybe a public school
mom realized that maybe a public school
mom realized that maybe a public school teacher might deliver the information a
teacher might deliver the information a
teacher might deliver the information a little bit better so at age five I was
little bit better so at age five I was
little bit better so at age five I was sent to part-time elementary school for
sent to part-time elementary school for
sent to part-time elementary school for first grade math that was a disaster I
first grade math that was a disaster I
first grade math that was a disaster I was five reading and comprehending about
was five reading and comprehending about
was five reading and comprehending about sixth grade material but I couldn’t add
sixth grade material but I couldn’t add
sixth grade material but I couldn’t add teachers told my mom she wasn’t doing
teachers told my mom she wasn’t doing
teachers told my mom she wasn’t doing her job saying things like maybe she
her job saying things like maybe she
her job saying things like maybe she isn’t as smart as you think she is smart
isn’t as smart as you think she is smart
isn’t as smart as you think she is smart what does that word even mean smart
what does that word even mean smart
what does that word even mean smart doesn’t equal gifted and gifted
doesn’t equal gifted and gifted
doesn’t equal gifted and gifted certainly doesn’t equal good grades
certainly doesn’t equal good grades
certainly doesn’t equal good grades gifted does equal learning disabilities
gifted does equal learning disabilities
gifted does equal learning disabilities and asynchronous development this is
and asynchronous development this is
and asynchronous development this is called 2e which stands for twice
called 2e which stands for twice
called 2e which stands for twice exceptional in first grade I realized I
exceptional in first grade I realized I
exceptional in first grade I realized I was not like the other kids I corrected
was not like the other kids I corrected
was not like the other kids I corrected a teacher on a field trip because she
a teacher on a field trip because she
a teacher on a field trip because she thought the okapi was related to the
thought the okapi was related to the
thought the okapi was related to the zebra not the giraffe she yelled at me
zebra not the giraffe she yelled at me
zebra not the giraffe she yelled at me for going to the fifth grade side of the
for going to the fifth grade side of the
for going to the fifth grade side of the library where the higher level books
library where the higher level books
library where the higher level books were saying I couldn’t read them wasn’t
were saying I couldn’t read them wasn’t
were saying I couldn’t read them wasn’t allowed to and that my parents would get
allowed to and that my parents would get
allowed to and that my parents would get a call home because I was being
a call home because I was being
a call home because I was being disobedient so as early as five years
disobedient so as early as five years
disobedient so as early as five years old I was already feeling threatened and
old I was already feeling threatened and
old I was already feeling threatened and shamed for being myself now this was
shamed for being myself now this was
shamed for being myself now this was really traumatising but looking back I
really traumatising but looking back I
really traumatising but looking back I can imagine how a typical I seemed once
can imagine how a typical I seemed once
can imagine how a typical I seemed once on the playground I was going super slow
on the playground I was going super slow
on the playground I was going super slow on the monkey bars and the kids asked
on the monkey bars and the kids asked
on the monkey bars and the kids asked why to which I responded I’m being a
why to which I responded I’m being a
why to which I responded I’m being a sloth none of them knew what a sloth was
sloth none of them knew what a sloth was
sloth none of them knew what a sloth was so they just laughed and said I was
so they just laughed and said I was
so they just laughed and said I was making it up I was with children but I
making it up I was with children but I
making it up I was with children but I was alone that’s the reality of
was alone that’s the reality of
was alone that’s the reality of giftedness in a neurotypical setting my
giftedness in a neurotypical setting my
giftedness in a neurotypical setting my mom read books on grade level learning
mom read books on grade level learning
mom read books on grade level learning expectations because the original plan
expectations because the original plan
expectations because the original plan was to send me to high school at age 14
was to send me to high school at age 14
was to send me to high school at age 14 like anybody else these books proved
like anybody else these books proved
like anybody else these books proved useless
useless
useless I’ve read and retained a lot of the
I’ve read and retained a lot of the
I’ve read and retained a lot of the information already I was like a walking
information already I was like a walking
information already I was like a walking encyclopedia set – the math volume of
encyclopedia set – the math volume of
encyclopedia set – the math volume of course around this time my IQ was tested
course around this time my IQ was tested
course around this time my IQ was tested again I scored in the 99.9% I’ll still
again I scored in the 99.9% I’ll still
again I scored in the 99.9% I’ll still but I presented with ADHD a severe math
but I presented with ADHD a severe math
but I presented with ADHD a severe math learning disability
learning disability
learning disability and executive functioning problems my
and executive functioning problems my
and executive functioning problems my mom really didn’t know where I was at so
mom really didn’t know where I was at so
mom really didn’t know where I was at so I took the a CT Explorer test at age
I took the a CT Explorer test at age
I took the a CT Explorer test at age eight to see what I could do I scored in
eight to see what I could do I scored in
eight to see what I could do I scored in high school levels for science reading
high school levels for science reading
high school levels for science reading writing and history but fourth grade for
writing and history but fourth grade for
writing and history but fourth grade for math so wasn’t I supposed to be put in
math so wasn’t I supposed to be put in
math so wasn’t I supposed to be put in the gifted classroom or the special
the gifted classroom or the special
the gifted classroom or the special needs classroom the district said the
needs classroom the district said the
needs classroom the district said the gifted classroom but that really wasn’t
gifted classroom but that really wasn’t
gifted classroom but that really wasn’t going to suit my creative or academic
going to suit my creative or academic
going to suit my creative or academic needs
needs
needs nor was it going to help me in math
nor was it going to help me in math
nor was it going to help me in math maybe if I had been put in a
maybe if I had been put in a
maybe if I had been put in a special-needs classroom I would have
special-needs classroom I would have
special-needs classroom I would have been better at math sooner understand
been better at math sooner understand
been better at math sooner understand that gifted kids are more than
that gifted kids are more than
that gifted kids are more than standardized test scores and many can be
standardized test scores and many can be
standardized test scores and many can be found in special education classrooms
found in special education classrooms
found in special education classrooms although they may not be academically
although they may not be academically
although they may not be academically successful their giftedness may show up
successful their giftedness may show up
successful their giftedness may show up in their leadership creative psychomotor
in their leadership creative psychomotor
in their leadership creative psychomotor or physical abilities my mom advocated
or physical abilities my mom advocated
or physical abilities my mom advocated harder at the district they ended up
harder at the district they ended up
harder at the district they ended up paying for my online high school classes
paying for my online high school classes
paying for my online high school classes so my fourth grade year consisted of
so my fourth grade year consisted of
so my fourth grade year consisted of online high school self-study french
online high school self-study french
online high school self-study french tutoring art and math at the public
tutoring art and math at the public
tutoring art and math at the public school I was too busy for HS GS now
school I was too busy for HS GS now
school I was too busy for HS GS now teachers challenged me saying if I were
teachers challenged me saying if I were
teachers challenged me saying if I were truly gifted I’d be able to do
truly gifted I’d be able to do
truly gifted I’d be able to do everything easily even after learning
everything easily even after learning
everything easily even after learning that my math issues were related to
that my math issues were related to
that my math issues were related to Gerstmann syndrome a cognitive
Gerstmann syndrome a cognitive
Gerstmann syndrome a cognitive impairment that affects my understanding
impairment that affects my understanding
impairment that affects my understanding of the rules of calculation they
of the rules of calculation they
of the rules of calculation they couldn’t believe that gifted people
couldn’t believe that gifted people
couldn’t believe that gifted people could have learning disabilities in fact
could have learning disabilities in fact
could have learning disabilities in fact the higher the IQ the higher the chance
the higher the IQ the higher the chance
the higher the IQ the higher the chance of having one by the time middle school
of having one by the time middle school
of having one by the time middle school rolled around my schedule was
rolled around my schedule was
rolled around my schedule was frustrating and online school was
frustrating and online school was
frustrating and online school was isolating I’d run out of options so at
isolating I’d run out of options so at
isolating I’d run out of options so at age 12 my parents and I decided to send
age 12 my parents and I decided to send
age 12 my parents and I decided to send me to full-time public high school I’d
me to full-time public high school I’d
me to full-time public high school I’d graduated eighth grade by Illinois
graduated eighth grade by Illinois
graduated eighth grade by Illinois standards but the school didn’t want me
standards but the school didn’t want me
standards but the school didn’t want me there because I was 12 my mom faced a
there because I was 12 my mom faced a
there because I was 12 my mom faced a lot of bias from the administration and
lot of bias from the administration and
lot of bias from the administration and we almost had to involve a lawyer but
we almost had to involve a lawyer but
we almost had to involve a lawyer but after several meetings with
after several meetings with
after several meetings with superintendents and principals I finally
superintendents and principals I finally
superintendents and principals I finally learned I’d get to go to high school
learned I’d get to go to high school
learned I’d get to go to high school just two days before the year started so
just two days before the year started so
just two days before the year started so there I was a bright-eyed twelve year
there I was a bright-eyed twelve year
there I was a bright-eyed twelve year old freshman complete with a bob baby
old freshman complete with a bob baby
old freshman complete with a bob baby face and brace
face and brace
face and brace on Halloween I walked in the class dress
on Halloween I walked in the class dress
on Halloween I walked in the class dress up as Joan of Arc and everybody clapped
up as Joan of Arc and everybody clapped
up as Joan of Arc and everybody clapped they thought I was cute
they thought I was cute
they thought I was cute to this day my dad still has nightmares
to this day my dad still has nightmares
to this day my dad still has nightmares about sending me to school that day but
about sending me to school that day but
about sending me to school that day but sophomore year I turned 13 and I didn’t
sophomore year I turned 13 and I didn’t
sophomore year I turned 13 and I didn’t want to be cute anymore I didn’t
want to be cute anymore I didn’t
want to be cute anymore I didn’t understand what a two year age
understand what a two year age
understand what a two year age difference meant I got used to annoying
difference meant I got used to annoying
difference meant I got used to annoying questions like have you heard of Doogie
questions like have you heard of Doogie
questions like have you heard of Doogie Howser or are you a genius I’m not funny
Howser or are you a genius I’m not funny
Howser or are you a genius I’m not funny but I started to formulate comebacks
but I started to formulate comebacks
but I started to formulate comebacks once when a girl asked me if I was a
once when a girl asked me if I was a
once when a girl asked me if I was a genius I said no I only play one on TV
genius I said no I only play one on TV
genius I said no I only play one on TV she thought I was being serious I’ve
she thought I was being serious I’ve
she thought I was being serious I’ve been put on a pedestal that other people
been put on a pedestal that other people
been put on a pedestal that other people put me on and I had no way off I hated
put me on and I had no way off I hated
put me on and I had no way off I hated it I hated that everybody in the school
it I hated that everybody in the school
it I hated that everybody in the school knew who I was I hated walking down the
knew who I was I hated walking down the
knew who I was I hated walking down the hallway with people turning around just
hallway with people turning around just
hallway with people turning around just to stare at me I hated being invited to
to stare at me I hated being invited to
to stare at me I hated being invited to groups so people could use me for better
groups so people could use me for better
groups so people could use me for better grades I was either a source of freakish
grades I was either a source of freakish
grades I was either a source of freakish amusement or an academic asset and I
amusement or an academic asset and I
amusement or an academic asset and I didn’t feel like a whole person anymore
didn’t feel like a whole person anymore
didn’t feel like a whole person anymore lonelier than ever I found refuge in my
lonelier than ever I found refuge in my
lonelier than ever I found refuge in my true passions literature reading and art
true passions literature reading and art
true passions literature reading and art even that got bad fun girl in high
even that got bad fun girl in high
even that got bad fun girl in high school bullied me the entire time
school bullied me the entire time
school bullied me the entire time often threatening to beat me up I came
often threatening to beat me up I came
often threatening to beat me up I came into the art room once to find all of my
into the art room once to find all of my
into the art room once to find all of my drawings in the trash with some buddies
drawings in the trash with some buddies
drawings in the trash with some buddies leftover food pored over them for good
leftover food pored over them for good
leftover food pored over them for good measure I knew exactly who it was
measure I knew exactly who it was
measure I knew exactly who it was talking to the Dean didn’t help talking
talking to the Dean didn’t help talking
talking to the Dean didn’t help talking to my teachers didn’t help I was 13
to my teachers didn’t help I was 13
to my teachers didn’t help I was 13 getting threatened by an
getting threatened by an
getting threatened by an eighteen-year-old senior who told me to
eighteen-year-old senior who told me to
eighteen-year-old senior who told me to just kill myself already that one day
just kill myself already that one day
just kill myself already that one day I’d grow up and be normal like everybody
I’d grow up and be normal like everybody
I’d grow up and be normal like everybody else but I hadn’t felt normal at any
else but I hadn’t felt normal at any
else but I hadn’t felt normal at any point in my life
point in my life
point in my life giftedness is a way of thinking a way of
giftedness is a way of thinking a way of
giftedness is a way of thinking a way of being and I knew that was never going to
being and I knew that was never going to
being and I knew that was never going to go away so what did I do
go away so what did I do
go away so what did I do I fought back through art with poppies
I fought back through art with poppies
I fought back through art with poppies once on Facebook I stumbled across a
once on Facebook I stumbled across a
once on Facebook I stumbled across a gifted learners page and they had an
gifted learners page and they had an
gifted learners page and they had an article about tall poppy syndrome which
article about tall poppy syndrome which
article about tall poppy syndrome which is when somebody who is classified as
is when somebody who is classified as
is when somebody who is classified as better than their peers is targeted
better than their peers is targeted
better than their peers is targeted metaphorically the poppies big bright
metaphorically the poppies big bright
metaphorically the poppies big bright head stands out in a field and they
head stands out in a field and they
head stands out in a field and they targeted to be chopped down I
targeted to be chopped down I
targeted to be chopped down I immediately recognize that this was me I
immediately recognize that this was me I
immediately recognize that this was me I did a quick sketch and I wrote down all
did a quick sketch and I wrote down all
did a quick sketch and I wrote down all of the times in my life I’d felt this
of the times in my life I’d felt this
of the times in my life I’d felt this way and I cried hard angry at being so
way and I cried hard angry at being so
way and I cried hard angry at being so mistreated for so long but I persisted I
mistreated for so long but I persisted I
mistreated for so long but I persisted I did my whole ap art
did my whole ap art
did my whole ap art poppies and I got a perfect score of
poppies and I got a perfect score of
poppies and I got a perfect score of five I became closer with teachers I met
five I became closer with teachers I met
five I became closer with teachers I met my best friend I had graduated high
my best friend I had graduated high
my best friend I had graduated high school in three years with 31 credits
school in three years with 31 credits
school in three years with 31 credits and I even went to prom in my dress with
and I even went to prom in my dress with
and I even went to prom in my dress with a big beautiful fu poppy on it I was
a big beautiful fu poppy on it I was
a big beautiful fu poppy on it I was gonna go to college I’m so excited I
gonna go to college I’m so excited I
gonna go to college I’m so excited I thought I’d finally be in a place where
thought I’d finally be in a place where
thought I’d finally be in a place where mature open-minded people would accept
mature open-minded people would accept
mature open-minded people would accept me for who I am and that I’d finally
me for who I am and that I’d finally
me for who I am and that I’d finally find my tribe but I was wrong
find my tribe but I was wrong
find my tribe but I was wrong the first day of orientation my age was
the first day of orientation my age was
the first day of orientation my age was leaked to about a third of the student
leaked to about a third of the student
leaked to about a third of the student body I didn’t want anybody knowing I was
body I didn’t want anybody knowing I was
body I didn’t want anybody knowing I was 15 but it was listed as a fun fact on
15 but it was listed as a fun fact on
15 but it was listed as a fun fact on the Forester guides sheets about the
the Forester guides sheets about the
the Forester guides sheets about the incoming freshmen a fun fact why
incoming freshmen a fun fact why
incoming freshmen a fun fact why couldn’t it be that I make the best
couldn’t it be that I make the best
couldn’t it be that I make the best Halloween costumes or that I had a pet
Halloween costumes or that I had a pet
Halloween costumes or that I had a pet octopus or that I love Star Wars it was
octopus or that I love Star Wars it was
octopus or that I love Star Wars it was something as banal yet as complicated as
something as banal yet as complicated as
something as banal yet as complicated as my age this made my freshman year a
my age this made my freshman year a
my age this made my freshman year a living hell I spent my time boarding
living hell I spent my time boarding
living hell I spent my time boarding classes and approached by random
classes and approached by random
classes and approached by random sexually inappropriate guys I was in a
sexually inappropriate guys I was in a
sexually inappropriate guys I was in a private college on several scholarships
private college on several scholarships
private college on several scholarships and I was nothing more than as one boy
and I was nothing more than as one boy
and I was nothing more than as one boy put it the genius star of a kiddie porno
put it the genius star of a kiddie porno
put it the genius star of a kiddie porno part of me wanted to go to parties and
part of me wanted to go to parties and
part of me wanted to go to parties and dates and talk about who I’d vote for
dates and talk about who I’d vote for
dates and talk about who I’d vote for but the reality was I had a 10:30 curfew
but the reality was I had a 10:30 curfew
but the reality was I had a 10:30 curfew and needed my mom to drive me to school
and needed my mom to drive me to school
and needed my mom to drive me to school every day friendless and uninterested i
every day friendless and uninterested i
every day friendless and uninterested i spiraled into a deep depression I spent
spiraled into a deep depression I spent
spiraled into a deep depression I spent all of my waking hours thinking about
all of my waking hours thinking about
all of my waking hours thinking about how is gonna kill myself because you see
how is gonna kill myself because you see
how is gonna kill myself because you see giftedness means being intense and
giftedness means being intense and
giftedness means being intense and obsessive I even had nightmares about
obsessive I even had nightmares about
obsessive I even had nightmares about people being okay with my death happy
people being okay with my death happy
people being okay with my death happy that they could use my brain for
that they could use my brain for
that they could use my brain for scientific research
scientific research
scientific research the stigma and misconceptions I
the stigma and misconceptions I
the stigma and misconceptions I facing for over ten years had planted
facing for over ten years had planted
facing for over ten years had planted themselves deep into my subconscious but
themselves deep into my subconscious but
themselves deep into my subconscious but I pulled myself up off of the ground
I pulled myself up off of the ground
I pulled myself up off of the ground I started medication and therapy I’m
I started medication and therapy I’m
I started medication and therapy I’m still learning to love myself the way I
still learning to love myself the way I
still learning to love myself the way I did as a kid and that it’s okay to just
did as a kid and that it’s okay to just
did as a kid and that it’s okay to just be me it’s really hard for me to
be me it’s really hard for me to
be me it’s really hard for me to recognize that people see me as
recognize that people see me as
recognize that people see me as different because in my mind I’m just
different because in my mind I’m just
different because in my mind I’m just Emily no one’s super special except to
Emily no one’s super special except to
Emily no one’s super special except to my parents does this sound like another
my parents does this sound like another
my parents does this sound like another teen sob story to you I mean we all have
teen sob story to you I mean we all have
teen sob story to you I mean we all have problems
problems
problems do I sound like a crybaby maybe are you
do I sound like a crybaby maybe are you
do I sound like a crybaby maybe are you feeling sorry for me don’t besides I’m
feeling sorry for me don’t besides I’m
feeling sorry for me don’t besides I’m going to venture to guess that you
going to venture to guess that you
going to venture to guess that you aren’t but that is what made my journey
aren’t but that is what made my journey
aren’t but that is what made my journey so intense and that is why I feel like I
so intense and that is why I feel like I
so intense and that is why I feel like I have to educate you on the importance of
have to educate you on the importance of
have to educate you on the importance of recognition and inclusion of gifted
recognition and inclusion of gifted
recognition and inclusion of gifted people I’ll always be the girl that
people I’ll always be the girl that
people I’ll always be the girl that works out useless information at parties
works out useless information at parties
works out useless information at parties rambles on about things only I find
rambles on about things only I find
rambles on about things only I find interesting or gets excited about it
interesting or gets excited about it
interesting or gets excited about it dates to the library but that’s just who
dates to the library but that’s just who
dates to the library but that’s just who I am if you’re wondering if a normal
I am if you’re wondering if a normal
I am if you’re wondering if a normal educational path would have been better
educational path would have been better
educational path would have been better for me I can tell you right now that it
for me I can tell you right now that it
for me I can tell you right now that it would have crushed my soul in a few
would have crushed my soul in a few
would have crushed my soul in a few weeks I’m going to turn 18 and I’m
weeks I’m going to turn 18 and I’m
weeks I’m going to turn 18 and I’m really enjoying blending in more plus I
really enjoying blending in more plus I
really enjoying blending in more plus I finally mastered the art of using a
finally mastered the art of using a
finally mastered the art of using a calculator have I had some great
calculator have I had some great
calculator have I had some great opportunities yes my Art’s been
opportunities yes my Art’s been
opportunities yes my Art’s been displayed in Union Station I’ve been
displayed in Union Station I’ve been
displayed in Union Station I’ve been published twice and I’ve won a bunch of
published twice and I’ve won a bunch of
published twice and I’ve won a bunch of awards so my life has consisted of good
awards so my life has consisted of good
awards so my life has consisted of good and bad experiences just like all of
and bad experiences just like all of
and bad experiences just like all of yours my hope for you tonight isn’t to
yours my hope for you tonight isn’t to
yours my hope for you tonight isn’t to feel bad for me or be impressed by me
feel bad for me or be impressed by me
feel bad for me or be impressed by me that isn’t why I came here or chose to
that isn’t why I came here or chose to
that isn’t why I came here or chose to be vulnerable I want you to take away
be vulnerable I want you to take away
be vulnerable I want you to take away the idea that giftedness is something
the idea that giftedness is something
the idea that giftedness is something people don’t get to choose but with
people don’t get to choose but with
people don’t get to choose but with respect accommodations grits persistence
respect accommodations grits persistence
respect accommodations grits persistence they can really offer the world their
they can really offer the world their
they can really offer the world their talents my name is Emily Merman I have
talents my name is Emily Merman I have
talents my name is Emily Merman I have an 11:00 o’clock curfew now I’m a
an 11:00 o’clock curfew now I’m a
an 11:00 o’clock curfew now I’m a horrible driver
horrible driver
horrible driver I’m graduating with a double major I’m
I’m graduating with a double major I’m
I’m graduating with a double major I’m in 1% of the population and I don’t fit
in 1% of the population and I don’t fit
in 1% of the population and I don’t fit in I like to blast my music I have celeb
in I like to blast my music I have celeb
in I like to blast my music I have celeb he crushes I roller skate every Friday
he crushes I roller skate every Friday
he crushes I roller skate every Friday night and I’m a tall poppy still looking
night and I’m a tall poppy still looking
night and I’m a tall poppy still looking for my tribe one day you might see
for my tribe one day you might see
for my tribe one day you might see another one growing and their heads
another one growing and their heads
another one growing and their heads gonna be hanging really low smile at
gonna be hanging really low smile at
gonna be hanging really low smile at them and should you see one growing
them and should you see one growing
them and should you see one growing think twice before pulling out your
think twice before pulling out your
think twice before pulling out your scissors thank you
scissors thank you
scissors thank you [Applause]
”
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