[Music] [Applause]
it was just another day in Phil’s life
it was just another day in Phil’s life he’d had a long day at work and all he
he’d had a long day at work and all he
he’d had a long day at work and all he wanted to do was take his shoes off sit
wanted to do was take his shoes off sit
wanted to do was take his shoes off sit on the sofa and watch his favorite soaps
on the sofa and watch his favorite soaps
on the sofa and watch his favorite soaps with a can of beer but before he could
with a can of beer but before he could
with a can of beer but before he could do that his dog Benson needed to go for
do that his dog Benson needed to go for
do that his dog Benson needed to go for a walk so he headed to the park and
a walk so he headed to the park and
a walk so he headed to the park and decided to play a game of ball but as he
decided to play a game of ball but as he
decided to play a game of ball but as he was playing he tripped fell and smashed
was playing he tripped fell and smashed
was playing he tripped fell and smashed his head against the concrete of the
his head against the concrete of the
his head against the concrete of the pavement as he was bleeding another dog
pavement as he was bleeding another dog
pavement as he was bleeding another dog walker called 999 but Phil never made it
walker called 999 but Phil never made it
walker called 999 but Phil never made it home that night or ever again he died in
home that night or ever again he died in
home that night or ever again he died in the ambulance on the way to hospital
Dave had recently retired he’d spent 50
Dave had recently retired he’d spent 50 years working in his accountant and was
years working in his accountant and was
years working in his accountant and was looking forward to spending his
looking forward to spending his
looking forward to spending his retirement in the garden reading the
retirement in the garden reading the
retirement in the garden reading the paper and seeing his grandchildren one
paper and seeing his grandchildren one
paper and seeing his grandchildren one day his wife June decided to pop to the
day his wife June decided to pop to the
day his wife June decided to pop to the shops for a while so Dave took the
shops for a while so Dave took the
shops for a while so Dave took the opportunity to mow the lawn he got to
opportunity to mow the lawn he got to
opportunity to mow the lawn he got to the awkward bit by the petunias when he
the awkward bit by the petunias when he
the awkward bit by the petunias when he felt a pain in his chest the pain was
felt a pain in his chest the pain was
felt a pain in his chest the pain was his heart he fell went into
his heart he fell went into
his heart he fell went into unconsciousness if he always later June
unconsciousness if he always later June
unconsciousness if he always later June returned home from doing the shopping
returned home from doing the shopping
returned home from doing the shopping she put on the careful made a cup of tea
she put on the careful made a cup of tea
she put on the careful made a cup of tea and headed outside to the garden to see
and headed outside to the garden to see
and headed outside to the garden to see her husband but it was too late
her husband but it was too late
her husband but it was too late Dave had already died Katie was having a
Dave had already died Katie was having a
Dave had already died Katie was having a tough summer it was the middle of her
tough summer it was the middle of her
tough summer it was the middle of her a-levels and she really wasn’t enjoying
a-levels and she really wasn’t enjoying
a-levels and she really wasn’t enjoying them very much but she was looking
them very much but she was looking
them very much but she was looking forward to a long summer spent with her
forward to a long summer spent with her
forward to a long summer spent with her friends before University the night
friends before University the night
friends before University the night before her final a level history exam
before her final a level history exam
before her final a level history exam she decided to take an hour off and have
she decided to take an hour off and have
she decided to take an hour off and have a pizza with her big sister
a pizza with her big sister
a pizza with her big sister she went to bed as usual and the next
she went to bed as usual and the next
she went to bed as usual and the next morning her mom shouted her downstairs
morning her mom shouted her downstairs
morning her mom shouted her downstairs saying the breakfast was ready but she
saying the breakfast was ready but she
saying the breakfast was ready but she never came downstairs her mom found her
never came downstairs her mom found her
never came downstairs her mom found her in bed she had died in her sleep as a
in bed she had died in her sleep as a
in bed she had died in her sleep as a funeral director I am faced with the
funeral director I am faced with the
funeral director I am faced with the brutal reality of death every single day
brutal reality of death every single day
brutal reality of death every single day in my line of work there is no escaping
in my line of work there is no escaping
in my line of work there is no escaping the fact that we are all going to die
the fact that we are all going to die
the fact that we are all going to die the evidence is in the mortuary every
the evidence is in the mortuary every
the evidence is in the mortuary every morning I go into work and the smell of
morning I go into work and the smell of
morning I go into work and the smell of death hits me my phone rings because
death hits me my phone rings because
death hits me my phone rings because someone has died and my assistance is
someone has died and my assistance is
someone has died and my assistance is required heart attacks
required heart attacks
required heart attacks mystery illnesses terrorist incidents
mystery illnesses terrorist incidents
mystery illnesses terrorist incidents murders suicides car crashes tragic
murders suicides car crashes tragic
murders suicides car crashes tragic accidents even simple hospital
accidents even simple hospital
accidents even simple hospital procedures gone wrong on average 1,000
procedures gone wrong on average 1,000
procedures gone wrong on average 1,000 people died in London every single week
people died in London every single week
people died in London every single week that’s a lot of people who just don’t
that’s a lot of people who just don’t
that’s a lot of people who just don’t have a tomorrow inspired by all these
have a tomorrow inspired by all these
have a tomorrow inspired by all these funerals I very quickly got into the
funerals I very quickly got into the
funerals I very quickly got into the habit of saying this could be the last
habit of saying this could be the last
habit of saying this could be the last time as inspired as I was my boyfriend
time as inspired as I was my boyfriend
time as inspired as I was my boyfriend at the time even had my words tattooed
at the time even had my words tattooed
at the time even had my words tattooed onto his arm in my handwriting but as a
onto his arm in my handwriting but as a
onto his arm in my handwriting but as a funeral director I’m not only faced with
funeral director I’m not only faced with
funeral director I’m not only faced with the brutal reality of death it’s also
the brutal reality of death it’s also
the brutal reality of death it’s also the brutal reality of life my job is to
the brutal reality of life my job is to
the brutal reality of life my job is to support people who are in the midst of
support people who are in the midst of
support people who are in the midst of going through what is possibly the most
going through what is possibly the most
going through what is possibly the most difficult devastating and traumatic time
difficult devastating and traumatic time
difficult devastating and traumatic time of their life and so I see how it
of their life and so I see how it
of their life and so I see how it affects them so lying in bed one night I
affects them so lying in bed one night I
affects them so lying in bed one night I added something to my boyfriend’s arm
added something to my boyfriend’s arm
added something to my boyfriend’s arm this could be the last time his touch he
this could be the last time his touch he
this could be the last time his touch he said but it probably won’t I added in by
said but it probably won’t I added in by
said but it probably won’t I added in by room you see Phil who never came home
room you see Phil who never came home
room you see Phil who never came home after his walk in the park was survived
after his walk in the park was survived
after his walk in the park was survived by his wife his neighbors and his dog
by his wife his neighbors and his dog
by his wife his neighbors and his dog Benson Dave who
Benson Dave who
Benson Dave who retired only to have a heart attack and
retired only to have a heart attack and
retired only to have a heart attack and died was survived by his wife his
died was survived by his wife his
died was survived by his wife his children their children his nieces and
children their children his nieces and
children their children his nieces and nephews the people he’d worked with for
nephews the people he’d worked with for
nephews the people he’d worked with for over 50 years the men he drank with at
over 50 years the men he drank with at
over 50 years the men he drank with at the pub and everyone he knew to say
the pub and everyone he knew to say
the pub and everyone he knew to say hello to including the milkman and Katie
hello to including the milkman and Katie
hello to including the milkman and Katie whose death remains unexplained
whose death remains unexplained
whose death remains unexplained to this day was survived by her sister
to this day was survived by her sister
to this day was survived by her sister her parents her grandparents her school
her parents her grandparents her school
her parents her grandparents her school friends her netball team and absolutely
friends her netball team and absolutely
friends her netball team and absolutely everyone who knew her online really
everyone who knew her online really
everyone who knew her online really quite well but had never met her all of
quite well but had never met her all of
quite well but had never met her all of these people had a tomorrow and it was a
these people had a tomorrow and it was a
these people had a tomorrow and it was a tomorrow they had to find a way to live
tomorrow they had to find a way to live
tomorrow they had to find a way to live with now I’ve learned so much from these
with now I’ve learned so much from these
with now I’ve learned so much from these people about how dealing with the very
people about how dealing with the very
people about how dealing with the very difficult emotions around death can
difficult emotions around death can
difficult emotions around death can really transform our lives up until the
really transform our lives up until the
really transform our lives up until the age of 25 I had never even attended a
age of 25 I had never even attended a
age of 25 I had never even attended a funeral so I was totally overwhelmed
funeral so I was totally overwhelmed
funeral so I was totally overwhelmed when my granddad was diagnosed with
when my granddad was diagnosed with
when my granddad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I had to face the
terminal cancer and I had to face the
terminal cancer and I had to face the prospect of my first ever death I spent
prospect of my first ever death I spent
prospect of my first ever death I spent 18 months anticipating how it was going
18 months anticipating how it was going
18 months anticipating how it was going to feel expecting a deep darkness like
to feel expecting a deep darkness like
to feel expecting a deep darkness like depression but grief came in many shades
depression but grief came in many shades
depression but grief came in many shades it wasn’t just darkness there was joy
it wasn’t just darkness there was joy
it wasn’t just darkness there was joy gratitude sadness and anger in there as
gratitude sadness and anger in there as
gratitude sadness and anger in there as well I soon realized that grief was so
well I soon realized that grief was so
well I soon realized that grief was so much more overwhelming unpredictable and
much more overwhelming unpredictable and
much more overwhelming unpredictable and complicated than I ever could have
complicated than I ever could have
complicated than I ever could have imagined
imagined
imagined everyone’s reaction to death is very
everyone’s reaction to death is very
everyone’s reaction to death is very different and whatever you’re feeling it
different and whatever you’re feeling it
different and whatever you’re feeling it is ok now after Phil’s very sudden and
is ok now after Phil’s very sudden and
is ok now after Phil’s very sudden and tragic death I spent some time with his
tragic death I spent some time with his
tragic death I spent some time with his widow Angela planning his funeral we
widow Angela planning his funeral we
widow Angela planning his funeral we wasted 30 years of our life she told me
wasted 30 years of our life she told me
wasted 30 years of our life she told me we just spent our time bickering and
we just spent our time bickering and
we just spent our time bickering and arguing about everything and absolutely
arguing about everything and absolutely
arguing about everything and absolutely nothing and now he is gone and I have to
nothing and now he is gone and I have to
nothing and now he is gone and I have to spend the rest of my life knowing that
spend the rest of my life knowing that
spend the rest of my life knowing that we wasted our time together I never get
we wasted our time together I never get
we wasted our time together I never get another opportunity a neighbor Barbara
another opportunity a neighbor Barbara
another opportunity a neighbor Barbara tried very hard to console her she said
tried very hard to console her she said
tried very hard to console her she said Angie you’ve just got to stop crying
Angie you’ve just got to stop crying
Angie you’ve just got to stop crying this can’t go on you’ve got to get on
this can’t go on you’ve got to get on
this can’t go on you’ve got to get on with your life you’ve got to see the
with your life you’ve got to see the
with your life you’ve got to see the good things you’ve got to celebrate all
good things you’ve got to celebrate all
good things you’ve got to celebrate all the good things that you did together
the good things that you did together
the good things that you did together and you know don’t sit around moping
and you know don’t sit around moping
and you know don’t sit around moping over him he wouldn’t want you wasting
over him he wouldn’t want you wasting
over him he wouldn’t want you wasting your tears whatever you’re feeling it’s
your tears whatever you’re feeling it’s
your tears whatever you’re feeling it’s okay in my early twenties when
okay in my early twenties when
okay in my early twenties when depression led me to not want him to be
depression led me to not want him to be
depression led me to not want him to be here anymore
here anymore
here anymore I was so used to people telling me not
I was so used to people telling me not
I was so used to people telling me not to be so silly that I had everything to
to be so silly that I had everything to
to be so silly that I had everything to live for and that I should be feeling
live for and that I should be feeling
live for and that I should be feeling something in fact anything apart from
something in fact anything apart from
something in fact anything apart from the reality of what I was actually
the reality of what I was actually
the reality of what I was actually feeling one day a friend took me for a
feeling one day a friend took me for a
feeling one day a friend took me for a walk in the park
walk in the park
walk in the park she let me talk without interrupting and
she let me talk without interrupting and
she let me talk without interrupting and at the end he simply nodded and said I
at the end he simply nodded and said I
at the end he simply nodded and said I totally get why you would want to leave
totally get why you would want to leave
totally get why you would want to leave whatever you’re feeling it’s okay
whatever you’re feeling it’s okay
whatever you’re feeling it’s okay diminishing other people’s feelings or
diminishing other people’s feelings or
diminishing other people’s feelings or telling them how they should and
telling them how they should and
telling them how they should and shouldn’t be feeling doesn’t help even
shouldn’t be feeling doesn’t help even
shouldn’t be feeling doesn’t help even if it’s well-intentioned now another
if it’s well-intentioned now another
if it’s well-intentioned now another thing that I’ve learned from the many
thing that I’ve learned from the many
thing that I’ve learned from the many people I’ve worked with is that owning
people I’ve worked with is that owning
people I’ve worked with is that owning what is going on and saying it as it is
what is going on and saying it as it is
what is going on and saying it as it is is really valuable so when I first
is really valuable so when I first
is really valuable so when I first started working in funerals I would
started working in funerals I would
started working in funerals I would arrive at someone’s house knock on the
arrive at someone’s house knock on the
arrive at someone’s house knock on the door introduce myself wonder whether to
door introduce myself wonder whether to
door introduce myself wonder whether to take my shoes off or not and then wonder
take my shoes off or not and then wonder
take my shoes off or not and then wonder how on earth I was going to express my
how on earth I was going to express my
how on earth I was going to express my condolences for what had happened to
condolences for what had happened to
condolences for what had happened to them sounding genuine sincere and honest
them sounding genuine sincere and honest
them sounding genuine sincere and honest which I was but it’s very difficult to
which I was but it’s very difficult to
which I was but it’s very difficult to word so what I would do is say something
word so what I would do is say something
word so what I would do is say something which I felt was right such as I’m sorry
which I felt was right such as I’m sorry
which I felt was right such as I’m sorry for your loss or sorry about your
for your loss or sorry about your
for your loss or sorry about your husband and then pause and wait for
husband and then pause and wait for
husband and then pause and wait for their reaction and their reactions were
their reaction and their reactions were
their reaction and their reactions were always very interesting and very
always very interesting and very
always very interesting and very telling one was it is what it is
telling one was it is what it is
telling one was it is what it is in other words oh well never mind
in other words oh well never mind
in other words oh well never mind followed by a grief starstruck look into
followed by a grief starstruck look into
followed by a grief starstruck look into the distance and another was just oh
the distance and another was just oh
the distance and another was just oh thanks love cup of tea but now my
thanks love cup of tea but now my
thanks love cup of tea but now my approach is much more direct than that
approach is much more direct than that
approach is much more direct than that I’m so sorry that your sister katie has
I’m so sorry that your sister katie has
I’m so sorry that your sister katie has died I’m sorry that this terrible thing
died I’m sorry that this terrible thing
died I’m sorry that this terrible thing has happened to you and your family by
has happened to you and your family by
has happened to you and your family by owning what has happened by saying it as
owning what has happened by saying it as
owning what has happened by saying it as it is we give everyone else permission
it is we give everyone else permission
it is we give everyone else permission to do the same unlike most of the
to do the same unlike most of the
to do the same unlike most of the British funeral industry I don’t talk in
British funeral industry I don’t talk in
British funeral industry I don’t talk in euphemisms no one in my care is lost
euphemisms no one in my care is lost
euphemisms no one in my care is lost no one has passed away no one is
no one has passed away no one is
no one has passed away no one is sleeping or at rest
sleeping or at rest
sleeping or at rest I used the word staff dying died and
I used the word staff dying died and
I used the word staff dying died and dead although very gently no one is
dead although very gently no one is
dead although very gently no one is called the deceased I call them the
called the deceased I call them the
called the deceased I call them the person who’s died or controversially
person who’s died or controversially
person who’s died or controversially their actual name by saying things as
their actual name by saying things as
their actual name by saying things as they are we’re able to own them and
they are we’re able to own them and
they are we’re able to own them and because of that actually deal with them
because of that actually deal with them
because of that actually deal with them very early on I realized that death that
very early on I realized that death that
very early on I realized that death that grief even doesn’t just belong to death
grief even doesn’t just belong to death
grief even doesn’t just belong to death grief is the complex set of emotions we
grief is the complex set of emotions we
grief is the complex set of emotions we feel whenever we are faced with a
feel whenever we are faced with a
feel whenever we are faced with a situation which we probably don’t want
situation which we probably don’t want
situation which we probably don’t want to be in either anticipating a situation
to be in either anticipating a situation
to be in either anticipating a situation that’s happening or something is going
that’s happening or something is going
that’s happening or something is going to happen and we have to find a way to
to happen and we have to find a way to
to happen and we have to find a way to live with that now grief doesn’t just
live with that now grief doesn’t just
live with that now grief doesn’t just notice feel grief when someone has died
notice feel grief when someone has died
notice feel grief when someone has died grief also belongs to any kind of change
grief also belongs to any kind of change
grief also belongs to any kind of change the end of a relationship the end of a
the end of a relationship the end of a
the end of a relationship the end of a friendship a career falling apart pet
friendship a career falling apart pet
friendship a career falling apart pet dying a grandparent dying is the very
dying a grandparent dying is the very
dying a grandparent dying is the very key one and the lives we could have
key one and the lives we could have
key one and the lives we could have lived the people we could have been the
lived the people we could have been the
lived the people we could have been the places we could have gone the people we
places we could have gone the people we
places we could have gone the people we could have known the one who left the
could have known the one who left the
could have known the one who left the one who stayed the life we could have
one who stayed the life we could have
one who stayed the life we could have lived if only life didn’t get in the way
lived if only life didn’t get in the way
lived if only life didn’t get in the way the ex-boyfriend with your words
the ex-boyfriend with your words
the ex-boyfriend with your words permanently tattooed
permanently tattooed
permanently tattooed as on the list is endless as a society
as on the list is endless as a society
as on the list is endless as a society we don’t really have any way of dealing
we don’t really have any way of dealing
we don’t really have any way of dealing with grief our funerals tell us to
with grief our funerals tell us to
with grief our funerals tell us to diminish how we’re feeling to keep calm
diminish how we’re feeling to keep calm
diminish how we’re feeling to keep calm and to carry on June could barely pour
and to carry on June could barely pour
and to carry on June could barely pour me a cup of tea she was shaking so much
me a cup of tea she was shaking so much
me a cup of tea she was shaking so much when I went to her house to talk about
when I went to her house to talk about
when I went to her house to talk about Dave’s funeral her hand was shaking so
Dave’s funeral her hand was shaking so
Dave’s funeral her hand was shaking so much she couldn’t sign the cremation
much she couldn’t sign the cremation
much she couldn’t sign the cremation paperwork which was needed for his
paperwork which was needed for his
paperwork which was needed for his funeral to go ahead I’m really sorry I’m
funeral to go ahead I’m really sorry I’m
funeral to go ahead I’m really sorry I’m just terrible at funerals she said to me
just terrible at funerals she said to me
just terrible at funerals she said to me it’s okay
it’s okay
it’s okay it’s a funeral you’re not supposed to be
it’s a funeral you’re not supposed to be
it’s a funeral you’re not supposed to be good at it our funeral poetry tells us
good at it our funeral poetry tells us
good at it our funeral poetry tells us to diminish how we’re feeling it tells
to diminish how we’re feeling it tells
to diminish how we’re feeling it tells us not to feel what it is we’re really
us not to feel what it is we’re really
us not to feel what it is we’re really feeling we’re supposed to smile laugh
feeling we’re supposed to smile laugh
feeling we’re supposed to smile laugh and just get on with our lives we’re
and just get on with our lives we’re
and just get on with our lives we’re absolutely not to cry shed any tears and
absolutely not to cry shed any tears and
absolutely not to cry shed any tears and God forbid you stand at anyone’s grave
God forbid you stand at anyone’s grave
God forbid you stand at anyone’s grave and weep we’re told that life goes on
and weep we’re told that life goes on
and weep we’re told that life goes on and that everything will be just the
and that everything will be just the
and that everything will be just the same as it always was but when someone
same as it always was but when someone
same as it always was but when someone dies everything changes
dies everything changes
dies everything changes pain demands to be felt and if we don’t
pain demands to be felt and if we don’t
pain demands to be felt and if we don’t feel it it will find a way to leak out
feel it it will find a way to leak out
feel it it will find a way to leak out into the rest of our lives
into the rest of our lives
into the rest of our lives alcoholism addiction pills breakdowns
alcoholism addiction pills breakdowns
alcoholism addiction pills breakdowns workaholism the list is endless
workaholism the list is endless
workaholism the list is endless bereavement is what happens to us grief
bereavement is what happens to us grief
bereavement is what happens to us grief is what we feel and mourning is what we
is what we feel and mourning is what we
is what we feel and mourning is what we do now I do my morning on Instagram do
do now I do my morning on Instagram do
do now I do my morning on Instagram do you ever want to know how I’m feeling
you ever want to know how I’m feeling
you ever want to know how I’m feeling then just take out my Instagram account
then just take out my Instagram account
then just take out my Instagram account you won’t find any pictures of kittens
you won’t find any pictures of kittens
you won’t find any pictures of kittens or latte art but you will find a very
or latte art but you will find a very
or latte art but you will find a very real depiction of my inner emotional
real depiction of my inner emotional
real depiction of my inner emotional landscape in pixel form
landscape in pixel form
landscape in pixel form I don’t repress my grief I express it
I don’t repress my grief I express it
I don’t repress my grief I express it and by doing so over time it’s changed
and by doing so over time it’s changed
and by doing so over time it’s changed and it’s just not so crippling anymore
and it’s just not so crippling anymore
and it’s just not so crippling anymore as a society we need a modern way of
as a society we need a modern way of
as a society we need a modern way of mourning
mourning
mourning we need funerals that actually serve
we need funerals that actually serve
we need funerals that actually serve their purpose
their purpose
their purpose we need funeral poetry that lets us feel
we need funeral poetry that lets us feel
we need funeral poetry that lets us feel what we’re really feeling without
what we’re really feeling without
what we’re really feeling without telling us otherwise
telling us otherwise
telling us otherwise we need to know that it’s okay to cry in
we need to know that it’s okay to cry in
we need to know that it’s okay to cry in the frozen peas aisle of Tesco we need
the frozen peas aisle of Tesco we need
the frozen peas aisle of Tesco we need to know that it’s okay not to be okay
to know that it’s okay not to be okay
to know that it’s okay not to be okay and we need permission to do whatever it
and we need permission to do whatever it
and we need permission to do whatever it is until we don’t need to do it anymore
is until we don’t need to do it anymore
is until we don’t need to do it anymore [Music]
[Music]
[Music] by repressing our grief we rob ourselves
by repressing our grief we rob ourselves
by repressing our grief we rob ourselves of the opportunity not just to treat
of the opportunity not just to treat
of the opportunity not just to treat life and death with reverence acceptance
life and death with reverence acceptance
life and death with reverence acceptance gratitude and many things but to do the
gratitude and many things but to do the
gratitude and many things but to do the same with our emotions our funerals are
same with our emotions our funerals are
same with our emotions our funerals are important they are our emotional legacy
important they are our emotional legacy
important they are our emotional legacy if done well they give the people who
if done well they give the people who
if done well they give the people who survived us a space to feel and to
survived us a space to feel and to
survived us a space to feel and to accept and acknowledge that their lives
accept and acknowledge that their lives
accept and acknowledge that their lives will never be the same again the most
will never be the same again the most
will never be the same again the most powerful funeral I was ever involved
powerful funeral I was ever involved
powerful funeral I was ever involved with was for a lady who died very
with was for a lady who died very
with was for a lady who died very suddenly in a car crash now her husband
suddenly in a car crash now her husband
suddenly in a car crash now her husband decided that he didn’t have any words to
decided that he didn’t have any words to
decided that he didn’t have any words to express how he felt about her death so
express how he felt about her death so
express how he felt about her death so at the funeral we didn’t have any words
at the funeral we didn’t have any words
at the funeral we didn’t have any words the only sound was the wind rustling in
the only sound was the wind rustling in
the only sound was the wind rustling in the trees and birdsong as her coffin was
the trees and birdsong as her coffin was
the trees and birdsong as her coffin was lowered into the grave there might not
lowered into the grave there might not
lowered into the grave there might not have been any words but the emotional
have been any words but the emotional
have been any words but the emotional volume was deafening even though I work
volume was deafening even though I work
volume was deafening even though I work with death every single day it’s not
with death every single day it’s not
with death every single day it’s not realistic to truly live the life that I
realistic to truly live the life that I
realistic to truly live the life that I want to live every single moment dealing
want to live every single moment dealing
want to live every single moment dealing healthily and brilliantly with every
healthily and brilliantly with every
healthily and brilliantly with every difficult emotion that comes up but I
difficult emotion that comes up but I
difficult emotion that comes up but I can live alive
can live alive
can live alive dealing with what comes up when it
dealing with what comes up when it
dealing with what comes up when it happens making decisions which won’t
happens making decisions which won’t
happens making decisions which won’t negatively affect tomorrow whilst also
negatively affect tomorrow whilst also
negatively affect tomorrow whilst also knowing that if I don’t have a tomorrow
knowing that if I don’t have a tomorrow
knowing that if I don’t have a tomorrow I won’t regret how I spent today because
I won’t regret how I spent today because
I won’t regret how I spent today because this could be the last time but it
this could be the last time but it
this could be the last time but it probably won’t be thank you
probably won’t be thank you
probably won’t be thank you you
”
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