my name is Nadine and I’m Dutch and polish
polish
polish my grandparents had to leave the
my grandparents had to leave the
my grandparents had to leave the desperate conditions of their homelands
desperate conditions of their homelands
desperate conditions of their homelands after World War two I’m grateful to walk
after World War two I’m grateful to walk
after World War two I’m grateful to walk on the land of those sailors people in
on the land of those sailors people in
on the land of those sailors people in the shared territory of the Musqueam
the shared territory of the Musqueam
the shared territory of the Musqueam the Squamish and the slavery
the Squamish and the slavery
the Squamish and the slavery I want to ask everyone a question what
I want to ask everyone a question what
I want to ask everyone a question what does ancient wisdom mean to you
what happens to us when we don’t listen
what happens to us when we don’t listen to the stories
to the stories
to the stories we don’t know our stories
we don’t know our stories
we don’t know our stories Dory’s maybe the most complex technology
Dory’s maybe the most complex technology
Dory’s maybe the most complex technology we have the sum total of our collective
we have the sum total of our collective
we have the sum total of our collective knowledge our collective humanity our
knowledge our collective humanity our
knowledge our collective humanity our ancestors but the secrets of the
ancestors but the secrets of the
ancestors but the secrets of the universe inside the stories
I have been learning the European
I have been learning the European storytelling tradition from Laura Sims
storytelling tradition from Laura Sims
storytelling tradition from Laura Sims she was trained by Joseph Campbell and
she was trained by Joseph Campbell and
she was trained by Joseph Campbell and by Nancy Mellon who’s one of the
by Nancy Mellon who’s one of the
by Nancy Mellon who’s one of the founders of the international school of
founders of the international school of
founders of the international school of storytelling in the UK
storytelling in the UK
storytelling in the UK I also sit with woody Morrison he’s one
I also sit with woody Morrison he’s one
I also sit with woody Morrison he’s one of the last crucially trained hide a
of the last crucially trained hide a
of the last crucially trained hide a history keepers he was trained by the
history keepers he was trained by the
history keepers he was trained by the old ones the tide waters as a little boy
old ones the tide waters as a little boy
old ones the tide waters as a little boy he knows his people’s history two ice
he knows his people’s history two ice
he knows his people’s history two ice ages ago
ages ago
ages ago he calls me
he calls me
he calls me yeong-ja woman who tells the story of
yeong-ja woman who tells the story of
yeong-ja woman who tells the story of all the people
all the people
all the people P Gong means the old things the ancient
P Gong means the old things the ancient
P Gong means the old things the ancient things means I have knowledge of the old
things means I have knowledge of the old
things means I have knowledge of the old stories of the ancient stories
stories of the ancient stories
stories of the ancient stories but it means I listen
but it means I listen
but it means I listen a long long time ago there were two
a long long time ago there were two
a long long time ago there were two armies battling
armies battling
armies battling and at the end of the day there were two
and at the end of the day there were two
and at the end of the day there were two soldiers standing facing one another and
soldiers standing facing one another and
soldiers standing facing one another and they looked around they were weary with
they looked around they were weary with
they looked around they were weary with the battle and they saw their fallen
the battle and they saw their fallen
the battle and they saw their fallen comrades all around them and the earth
comrades all around them and the earth
comrades all around them and the earth was soaked red and they looked at one
was soaked red and they looked at one
was soaked red and they looked at one another and they said it will do us no
another and they said it will do us no
another and they said it will do us no honor is finished like this let us rest
honor is finished like this let us rest
honor is finished like this let us rest the night and in the morning
the night and in the morning
the night and in the morning we’ll finish what was started and only
we’ll finish what was started and only
we’ll finish what was started and only one of us will return home to our
one of us will return home to our
one of us will return home to our village
village
village do they sheath their swords and they put
do they sheath their swords and they put
do they sheath their swords and they put down their shields they took off their
down their shields they took off their
down their shields they took off their dented helmets and they laid down
dented helmets and they laid down
dented helmets and they laid down and the night through dark and the
and the night through dark and the
and the night through dark and the silence was broken by one of the
silence was broken by one of the
silence was broken by one of the soldiers saying back home I have a son
soldiers saying back home I have a son
soldiers saying back home I have a son and when he grows up he wants to be a
and when he grows up he wants to be a
and when he grows up he wants to be a soldier just like me
soldier just like me
soldier just like me other soldier replied saying back home I
other soldier replied saying back home I
other soldier replied saying back home I have a daughter and when I look in her
have a daughter and when I look in her
have a daughter and when I look in her face I see the beauty of my wife in her
face I see the beauty of my wife in her
face I see the beauty of my wife in her youth
youth
youth he spends the rest of the night telling
he spends the rest of the night telling
he spends the rest of the night telling each other stories of their villages
each other stories of their villages
each other stories of their villages their childhoods the stories they heard
their childhoods the stories they heard
their childhoods the stories they heard as little boys sitting at the feet of
as little boys sitting at the feet of
as little boys sitting at the feet of their grandparents
the sky grew light
the sky grew light holder’s got to their feet they put
holder’s got to their feet they put
holder’s got to their feet they put their dented helmets on they picked up
their dented helmets on they picked up
their dented helmets on they picked up their shields they place their hands on
their shields they place their hands on
their shields they place their hands on the hilt of their sword and standing
the hilt of their sword and standing
the hilt of their sword and standing there looking at one another
there looking at one another
there looking at one another they both nodded and returned home for
they both nodded and returned home for
they both nodded and returned home for their villages
their villages
their villages and the grandmother who shared this
and the grandmother who shared this
and the grandmother who shared this story he said you can’t harm someone
story he said you can’t harm someone
story he said you can’t harm someone once you know their story
we need our stories they are our
we need our stories they are our original mirrors they are calling us
original mirrors they are calling us
original mirrors they are calling us asking us the wake up
asking us the wake up
asking us the wake up remember listen
and their life-giving
and their life-giving once upon a time there was a king and he
once upon a time there was a king and he
once upon a time there was a king and he had three sons he ruled with fairness
had three sons he ruled with fairness
had three sons he ruled with fairness with justice and everyone obeyed him but
with justice and everyone obeyed him but
with justice and everyone obeyed him but one day he woke up and he was blind
when a vision is given to you you don’t
when a vision is given to you you don’t have to look but if you don’t that’s
have to look but if you don’t that’s
have to look but if you don’t that’s when you start to go blind
if you don’t listen to the stories you
if you don’t listen to the stories you can’t see where you come from
as a story of the blind king continues
as a story of the blind king continues we meet one of my favorite characters in
we meet one of my favorite characters in
we meet one of my favorite characters in fairy tales the youngest son rides out
fairy tales the youngest son rides out
fairy tales the youngest son rides out to help his father and he goes over
to help his father and he goes over
to help his father and he goes over seven mountains and down seven valleys
seven mountains and down seven valleys
seven mountains and down seven valleys he crosses a glacier and comes to the
he crosses a glacier and comes to the
he crosses a glacier and comes to the dry cracked barren landscape and up
dry cracked barren landscape and up
dry cracked barren landscape and up ahead he sees a dark shape some things
ahead he sees a dark shape some things
ahead he sees a dark shape some things glinting and it catches his eye he rides
glinting and it catches his eye he rides
glinting and it catches his eye he rides out over towards it and as he approaches
out over towards it and as he approaches
out over towards it and as he approaches it he sees that is an old rail man and
it he sees that is an old rail man and
it he sees that is an old rail man and in his hands the glinting object is
in his hands the glinting object is
in his hands the glinting object is revealed to be a needle and thread
revealed to be a needle and thread
revealed to be a needle and thread the old man his clothes are threadfin
the old man his clothes are threadfin
the old man his clothes are threadfin and his beard it was in the wind
and his beard it was in the wind
and his beard it was in the wind and there he is bending over going up
and there he is bending over going up
and there he is bending over going up the graph sir
howling and listening to stories is a
howling and listening to stories is a healing
healing
healing the story is a message
when I was ten my parents separated and
when I was ten my parents separated and my mother took me and my four younger
my mother took me and my four younger
my mother took me and my four younger brothers the ones day was my
brothers the ones day was my
brothers the ones day was my grandparents my omen OPA they lived on
grandparents my omen OPA they lived on
grandparents my omen OPA they lived on the shores of Lake Erie it was a spring
the shores of Lake Erie it was a spring
the shores of Lake Erie it was a spring time later that summer I watched my
time later that summer I watched my
time later that summer I watched my middle brother Orie drown in front of my
middle brother Orie drown in front of my
middle brother Orie drown in front of my eyes
eyes
eyes or months later it was Christmas Eve and
or months later it was Christmas Eve and
or months later it was Christmas Eve and we were at my polish grandparents my
we were at my polish grandparents my
we were at my polish grandparents my babcha and jojos we got a phone call my
babcha and jojos we got a phone call my
babcha and jojos we got a phone call my father had been in a car accident
father had been in a car accident
father had been in a car accident he died the next day on Christmas
at 13 I went into foster care and I
at 13 I went into foster care and I never returns home
never returns home
never returns home the day my father died is the day I went
the day my father died is the day I went
the day my father died is the day I went blind
when I was 19 I was experiencing the
when I was 19 I was experiencing the most excruciating grief
most excruciating grief
most excruciating grief I felt lost and abandoned
I had no sense of home and no connect
by 19 I found my way to tree planting
by 19 I found my way to tree planting and I planted for over seven years and
and I planted for over seven years and
and I planted for over seven years and for the first three years I was the
for the first three years I was the
for the first three years I was the worst planter ever
worst planter ever
worst planter ever I cried every single day in my lands
I cried every single day in my lands
I cried every single day in my lands half the time I couldn’t even see the
half the time I couldn’t even see the
half the time I couldn’t even see the land through my tears I didn’t realize
land through my tears I didn’t realize
land through my tears I didn’t realize how poisoned I was by the grief and the
how poisoned I was by the grief and the
how poisoned I was by the grief and the sorrow
sorrow
sorrow I would lay down everyday in the land
I would lay down everyday in the land
I would lay down everyday in the land and I’d let my tears fall into the earth
and I’d let my tears fall into the earth
and I’d let my tears fall into the earth but the forest held me and it witnessed
but the forest held me and it witnessed
but the forest held me and it witnessed me and in doing so
me and in doing so
me and in doing so I began to heal I was allowed to begin
I began to heal I was allowed to begin
I began to heal I was allowed to begin to see what the brief is eating me
to see what the brief is eating me
to see what the brief is eating me go through it and to feel it
he told me when something leaves you
he told me when something leaves you that it needs to be replaced with
that it needs to be replaced with
that it needs to be replaced with something and as I laid there on the
something and as I laid there on the
something and as I laid there on the earth crying my ears leaving that’s when
earth crying my ears leaving that’s when
earth crying my ears leaving that’s when I felt the magic in the land I means the
I felt the magic in the land I means the
I felt the magic in the land I means the magic of the land was replacing my
magic of the land was replacing my
magic of the land was replacing my sorrow and my brief
sorrow and my brief
sorrow and my brief and I was no longer blinded by the grief
I could feel
I could feel here an even deeper voice calling me
here an even deeper voice calling me
here an even deeper voice calling me home telling me learn all I could about
home telling me learn all I could about
home telling me learn all I could about the ancient earth wisdom and once that’s
the ancient earth wisdom and once that’s
the ancient earth wisdom and once that’s woody where’d his stories come from
woody where’d his stories come from
woody where’d his stories come from and he got that still quiet Farah found
and he got that still quiet Farah found
and he got that still quiet Farah found in his voice and he said Oh way over
in his voice and he said Oh way over
in his voice and he said Oh way over there on the horizon
of us
of us and the future is behind us and we don’t
and the future is behind us and we don’t
and the future is behind us and we don’t know what’s coming we don’t have control
know what’s coming we don’t have control
know what’s coming we don’t have control have to keep our minds saw that we can
have to keep our minds saw that we can
have to keep our minds saw that we can see the Far periphery not narrow-minded
see the Far periphery not narrow-minded
see the Far periphery not narrow-minded thinking that what we see in front of us
thinking that what we see in front of us
thinking that what we see in front of us is all there is
ancestors left a path for us all the way
ancestors left a path for us all the way back there horizon
and then we can go down
and then we can go down that’s still quiet place inside where we
that’s still quiet place inside where we
that’s still quiet place inside where we can sense the presence of the ancestors
one day I was on the bus and it drove by
one day I was on the bus and it drove by the Polish community center and I pulled
the Polish community center and I pulled
the Polish community center and I pulled for the stop and I got off I walked into
for the stop and I got off I walked into
for the stop and I got off I walked into the office and I said hello my name is
the office and I said hello my name is
the office and I said hello my name is Nadine I’m half Polish and I’d like to
Nadine I’m half Polish and I’d like to
Nadine I’m half Polish and I’d like to learn about my culture I like to learn
learn about my culture I like to learn
learn about my culture I like to learn about my culture before Poland became a
about my culture before Poland became a
about my culture before Poland became a nation-state
nation-state
nation-state how did our people live over there
how did our people live over there
how did our people live over there ceremonies or their traditions
ceremonies or their traditions
ceremonies or their traditions they looked at me and they blink
I told them I wanted to learn the
I told them I wanted to learn the stories I wanted to learn the cross who
stories I wanted to learn the cross who
stories I wanted to learn the cross who could teach me
could teach me
could teach me that’s how it was decided that I would
that’s how it was decided that I would
that’s how it was decided that I would join the Polish folk dance troupe
and for the next two years every week
and for the next two years every week for three hours I went to folk dance
for three hours I went to folk dance
for three hours I went to folk dance practice
practice
practice and there was something indescribable
and there was something indescribable
and there was something indescribable about being around polish people their
about being around polish people their
about being around polish people their bodies made sense to me hearing the
bodies made sense to me hearing the
bodies made sense to me hearing the language reminds me of my butcher and
language reminds me of my butcher and
language reminds me of my butcher and Jojo I love dancing the waltzes of
Jojo I love dancing the waltzes of
Jojo I love dancing the waltzes of mazurkas the polyneices
and as I danced those old dances the
and as I danced those old dances the geometry of those old dances
geometry of those old dances
geometry of those old dances something awakens in my blood something
something awakens in my blood something
something awakens in my blood something was sparked inside of me and I felt joy
my first year of dancing we were to
my first year of dancing we were to dance of the European Festival they had
dance of the European Festival they had
dance of the European Festival they had booths set up from all over Europe and
booths set up from all over Europe and
booths set up from all over Europe and that was a defining moment for me that’s
that was a defining moment for me that’s
that was a defining moment for me that’s when I realized I am European I am NOT
when I realized I am European I am NOT
when I realized I am European I am NOT North American the way that the costumes
fit spoke to me it awakens something it
fit spoke to me it awakens something it awakened this love inside of me that I
awakened this love inside of me that I
awakened this love inside of me that I didn’t even know that I had for European
didn’t even know that I had for European
didn’t even know that I had for European culture and I wanted to learn more but I
culture and I wanted to learn more but I
culture and I wanted to learn more but I also wanted to be respectful of the
also wanted to be respectful of the
also wanted to be respectful of the lands that I walked on of the Coast
lands that I walked on of the Coast
lands that I walked on of the Coast Salish people so before we were to dance
Salish people so before we were to dance
Salish people so before we were to dance the weekend before to dance I went to
the weekend before to dance I went to
the weekend before to dance I went to the First Nations Friendship Centre and
the First Nations Friendship Centre and
the First Nations Friendship Centre and I asked some of my friends what’s the
I asked some of my friends what’s the
I asked some of my friends what’s the protocol for thinking the lands for the
protocol for thinking the lands for the
protocol for thinking the lands for the ancestors the things of people who walk
ancestors the things of people who walk
ancestors the things of people who walk on this land
I do I acknowledge and ask permission to
I do I acknowledge and ask permission to dance my ancestral dance on this land
dance my ancestral dance on this land
dance my ancestral dance on this land my friend shared these protocols with me
the day that we were to dance there I
the day that we were to dance there I was standing in my traditional Polish
was standing in my traditional Polish
was standing in my traditional Polish ancestral dress
and I stepped away and I said some
and I stepped away and I said some prayers I took a few moments give thanks
prayers I took a few moments give thanks
prayers I took a few moments give thanks to the lands into the ancestors here
to the lands into the ancestors here
to the lands into the ancestors here let them know what this dance meant to
let them know what this dance meant to
let them know what this dance meant to me
me
me I knew that the land is watching me and
I knew that the land is watching me and
I knew that the land is watching me and by doing it this way the ancestors are
by doing it this way the ancestors are
by doing it this way the ancestors are proud of me
proud of me
proud of me Uncle Phil she Phil Lane jr.
Uncle Phil she Phil Lane jr.
Uncle Phil she Phil Lane jr. he’s one of the elders who wrote the
he’s one of the elders who wrote the
he’s one of the elders who wrote the treaty the international treaty to
treaty the international treaty to
treaty the international treaty to protect and restore mother earth
protect and restore mother earth
protect and restore mother earth you’d shared with me once
you’d shared with me once
you’d shared with me once but the pain of one is the pain of all
but the pain of one is the pain of all
but the pain of one is the pain of all and the honor of one is the honor of all
and the honor of one is the honor of all
and the honor of one is the honor of all and as I sat and I listen to that
and as I sat and I listen to that
and as I sat and I listen to that still felt the pain of my relationship
still felt the pain of my relationship
still felt the pain of my relationship with my mother
now I had sat in ceremony
now I had sat in ceremony you farvel looking horse
you farvel looking horse
you farvel looking horse he’s a Lakota elder in the 19th
he’s a Lakota elder in the 19th
he’s a Lakota elder in the 19th generation pipe carrier for the White
generation pipe carrier for the White
generation pipe carrier for the White Buffalo Calf woman spike
Buffalo Calf woman spike
Buffalo Calf woman spike it said that we all had an umbilical
it said that we all had an umbilical
it said that we all had an umbilical cord back to the earth
now my mother was coming to visit me in
now my mother was coming to visit me in a couple months
a couple months
a couple months and I knew I wanted to have a mother
and I knew I wanted to have a mother
and I knew I wanted to have a mother honoring ceremony for her
honoring ceremony for her
honoring ceremony for her now I have it an ongoing relationship
now I have it an ongoing relationship
now I have it an ongoing relationship with the elders that I sit with and so I
with the elders that I sit with and so I
with the elders that I sit with and so I called summon them up and I asked them
called summon them up and I asked them
called summon them up and I asked them how do I do this in a good way
how do I do this in a good way
how do I do this in a good way and they shared some of their traditions
and they shared some of their traditions
and they shared some of their traditions with me for honoring mothers and the
with me for honoring mothers and the
with me for honoring mothers and the female aspect of life
I invited my friends my native friends
I invited my friends my native friends knew an honoring ceremony for a mother
knew an honoring ceremony for a mother
knew an honoring ceremony for a mother were there
their drums and I made a feast for
their drums and I made a feast for everyone and one of the most powerful
everyone and one of the most powerful
everyone and one of the most powerful moments for me was giving my mother the
moments for me was giving my mother the
moments for me was giving my mother the cedar woven basket that I had handmade
cedar woven basket that I had handmade
cedar woven basket that I had handmade for her I had placed rose petals in it
for her I had placed rose petals in it
for her I had placed rose petals in it and a rose quartz heart and I looked at
and a rose quartz heart and I looked at
and a rose quartz heart and I looked at my mom and I said mom I was told that we
my mom and I said mom I was told that we
my mom and I said mom I was told that we were all like a basket and we have to
were all like a basket and we have to
were all like a basket and we have to look into our basket and make sure that
look into our basket and make sure that
look into our basket and make sure that we’re not carrying something that isn’t
we’re not carrying something that isn’t
we’re not carrying something that isn’t ours to carry the rose petals in here
ours to carry the rose petals in here
ours to carry the rose petals in here represent your womb where you grew my
represent your womb where you grew my
represent your womb where you grew my heart my brain my eyes and my fingernail
heart my brain my eyes and my fingernail
heart my brain my eyes and my fingernail kourt’s heart represents the heartbeat
kourt’s heart represents the heartbeat
kourt’s heart represents the heartbeat that you gave me
that you gave me
that you gave me thank you for giving me life
thank you for giving me life
thank you for giving me life q for being my mother
my mom and I cried
my mom and I cried and I could feel
and I could feel
and I could feel the pain of the past
and in that space the song of love build
and in that space the song of love build it
it
it my mom and I were so overjoyed through
my mom and I were so overjoyed through
my mom and I were so overjoyed through her tears as we could start to finally
her tears as we could start to finally
her tears as we could start to finally have the relationship that we had always
have the relationship that we had always
have the relationship that we had always wanted
wanted
wanted I was told that when we heal ourselves
I was told that when we heal ourselves
I was told that when we heal ourselves we heal seven generations back and seven
we heal seven generations back and seven
we heal seven generations back and seven generations forward
generations forward
generations forward I think back to those tree planting days
I think back to those tree planting days
I think back to those tree planting days crying in my land and how that past is
crying in my land and how that past is
crying in my land and how that past is in front of me now and how I’ve followed
in front of me now and how I’ve followed
in front of me now and how I’ve followed the path of the ancient ones
the path of the ancient ones
the path of the ancient ones I think about the future I have with my
I think about the future I have with my
I think about the future I have with my mother that has become
how I was led to sit with the First
how I was led to sit with the First Nations and how their stories led me to
Nations and how their stories led me to
Nations and how their stories led me to want to learn about the stories of my
want to learn about the stories of my
want to learn about the stories of my own ancestral identity
how it allowed me to feel strong enough
how it allowed me to feel strong enough to heal myself in the relationship with
to heal myself in the relationship with
to heal myself in the relationship with my mother
my mother
my mother look at those wounds and let them be so
look at those wounds and let them be so
look at those wounds and let them be so not
I was learning what in height us out my
I was learning what in height us out my deny it means my being my entire being
it means the knowledge isn’t just coming
it means the knowledge isn’t just coming into my mind but it’s coming into my
into my mind but it’s coming into my
into my mind but it’s coming into my entire being and this is a way of
entire being and this is a way of
entire being and this is a way of calming the knowing
calming the knowing
calming the knowing this is how I started to learn to
this is how I started to learn to
this is how I started to learn to generate my own light it’s a different
generate my own light it’s a different
generate my own light it’s a different way of knowing a different way of seeing
and that is what connects me the ancient
and that is what connects me the ancient was
was
was a story is so big it holds all of our
a story is so big it holds all of our
a story is so big it holds all of our personal stories within it it’s what
personal stories within it it’s what
personal stories within it it’s what held our ancestors and what will heal
held our ancestors and what will heal
held our ancestors and what will heal is what taught them the values of how to
is what taught them the values of how to
is what taught them the values of how to live together stories each behavior
live together stories each behavior
live together stories each behavior how to repair our relationship
the story is the message it allows us to
the story is the message it allows us to feel what our ancestors felt when they
feel what our ancestors felt when they
feel what our ancestors felt when they knew how to stand in the great circle
when they knew that we are all part of
when they knew that we are all part of the human family
the human family
the human family respecting each other’s origins all the
respecting each other’s origins all the
respecting each other’s origins all the way back with her horizon
way back with her horizon
way back with her horizon what do you told me about being able to
what do you told me about being able to
what do you told me about being able to see the power that is the wind it’s the
see the power that is the wind it’s the
see the power that is the wind it’s the cycles of life that move the wind and
cycles of life that move the wind and
cycles of life that move the wind and that’s how we can find our song in the
that’s how we can find our song in the
that’s how we can find our song in the universe
universe
universe that’s what we’ll bring our heartbeat to
that’s what we’ll bring our heartbeat to
that’s what we’ll bring our heartbeat to the other without my heart in your heart
the other without my heart in your heart
the other without my heart in your heart i won
”
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