and so I spend most of my day in a toilet and they didn’t know what used to
toilet and they didn’t know what used to
toilet and they didn’t know what used to be that way in fact I used to spend most
be that way in fact I used to spend most
be that way in fact I used to spend most of my day in the gym and I was a
of my day in the gym and I was a
of my day in the gym and I was a kickboxer a champion kickboxer I used to
kickboxer a champion kickboxer I used to
kickboxer a champion kickboxer I used to love this sport it is my one passion in
love this sport it is my one passion in
love this sport it is my one passion in life to get up every day and to be able
life to get up every day and to be able
life to get up every day and to be able to kick and punch things and win medals
to kick and punch things and win medals
to kick and punch things and win medals from my country was it just a dream come
from my country was it just a dream come
from my country was it just a dream come true for me and then all of a sudden two
true for me and then all of a sudden two
true for me and then all of a sudden two words completely changed that for me
words completely changed that for me
words completely changed that for me Crohn’s disease that’s what I was told I
Crohn’s disease that’s what I was told I
Crohn’s disease that’s what I was told I had I hadn’t a clue what Crohn’s disease
had I hadn’t a clue what Crohn’s disease
had I hadn’t a clue what Crohn’s disease was I’d never even heard of it before so
was I’d never even heard of it before so
was I’d never even heard of it before so the first thing I did was absolutely
the first thing I did was absolutely
the first thing I did was absolutely scared the life out of myself and I went
scared the life out of myself and I went
scared the life out of myself and I went to Google
to Google
to Google so after googling a lot of things I
so after googling a lot of things I
so after googling a lot of things I realized maybe I’m not gonna die
realized maybe I’m not gonna die
realized maybe I’m not gonna die tomorrow and in fact what I learned that
tomorrow and in fact what I learned that
tomorrow and in fact what I learned that Crohn’s disease was was a serious
Crohn’s disease was was a serious
Crohn’s disease was was a serious incurable autoimmune disease that
incurable autoimmune disease that
incurable autoimmune disease that affects the gastrointestinal tract it
affects the gastrointestinal tract it
affects the gastrointestinal tract it causes severe weight loss extreme
causes severe weight loss extreme
causes severe weight loss extreme fatigue a lot of vomiting and a lot of
fatigue a lot of vomiting and a lot of
fatigue a lot of vomiting and a lot of information the joint stomach ulcers and
information the joint stomach ulcers and
information the joint stomach ulcers and then the really gross part is a lot of
then the really gross part is a lot of
then the really gross part is a lot of diarrhea so how does somebody that’s win
diarrhea so how does somebody that’s win
diarrhea so how does somebody that’s win in World and European medals get stuck
in World and European medals get stuck
in World and European medals get stuck with this disease and I remember
with this disease and I remember
with this disease and I remember thinking at the time I wasn’t even
thinking at the time I wasn’t even
thinking at the time I wasn’t even skinny enough to have brown disease so
skinny enough to have brown disease so
skinny enough to have brown disease so let me tell you a story about how this
let me tell you a story about how this
let me tell you a story about how this came about
came about
came about um as all athletes do we train really
um as all athletes do we train really
um as all athletes do we train really hard six days a week I was in the gym
hard six days a week I was in the gym
hard six days a week I was in the gym training twice a day and then once a
training twice a day and then once a
training twice a day and then once a year I’d allow myself a little break
year I’d allow myself a little break
year I’d allow myself a little break where I could just go away in a holiday
where I could just go away in a holiday
where I could just go away in a holiday relax and unwind and just chill so
relax and unwind and just chill so
relax and unwind and just chill so anyone that knows me knows I love the
anyone that knows me knows I love the
anyone that knows me knows I love the Sun so I was packing my bag and getting
Sun so I was packing my bag and getting
Sun so I was packing my bag and getting ready to go to Spain for a week it was
ready to go to Spain for a week it was
ready to go to Spain for a week it was gonna be seven days in the Sun with my
gonna be seven days in the Sun with my
gonna be seven days in the Sun with my mom and my sister the plan for me was
mom and my sister the plan for me was
mom and my sister the plan for me was just throw a towel on the beach
just throw a towel on the beach
just throw a towel on the beach lie down and just let the Sun hit me
lie down and just let the Sun hit me
lie down and just let the Sun hit me well unfortunately my body had a
well unfortunately my body had a
well unfortunately my body had a completely different plan for me and I
completely different plan for me and I
completely different plan for me and I spent those seven days in my hotel
spent those seven days in my hotel
spent those seven days in my hotel bathroom I was so ill I was vomiting
bathroom I was so ill I was vomiting
bathroom I was so ill I was vomiting blood every hour
blood every hour
blood every hour I was an excruciating pain it was like
I was an excruciating pain it was like
I was an excruciating pain it was like somebody picked up a knife and just
somebody picked up a knife and just
somebody picked up a knife and just started hacking away at my stomach
started hacking away at my stomach
started hacking away at my stomach non-stop my knees and ankles had become
non-stop my knees and ankles had become
non-stop my knees and ankles had become so inflamed as I could barely walk and
so inflamed as I could barely walk and
so inflamed as I could barely walk and this is the bit I hate talking about i
this is the bit I hate talking about i
this is the bit I hate talking about i sat in the toilet for hours and hours at
sat in the toilet for hours and hours at
sat in the toilet for hours and hours at a time with a lot of diarrhea and I
a time with a lot of diarrhea and I
a time with a lot of diarrhea and I remember at that point I lost feeling in
remember at that point I lost feeling in
remember at that point I lost feeling in my legs from sitting in the same place
my legs from sitting in the same place
my legs from sitting in the same place for so long so here I was trying to
for so long so here I was trying to
for so long so here I was trying to crawl back out of the bathroom and just
crawl back out of the bathroom and just
crawl back out of the bathroom and just at that exact moment my mother walked in
at that exact moment my mother walked in
at that exact moment my mother walked in and saw me like this and at that point I
and saw me like this and at that point I
and saw me like this and at that point I just completely broke down that had
just completely broke down that had
just completely broke down that had become my life for the last few years
become my life for the last few years
become my life for the last few years that had become normal for me I’ve been
that had become normal for me I’ve been
that had become normal for me I’ve been living in that pain and agony for a long
living in that pain and agony for a long
living in that pain and agony for a long time and I couldn’t even bring myself to
time and I couldn’t even bring myself to
time and I couldn’t even bring myself to tell the people that was closest to me
tell the people that was closest to me
tell the people that was closest to me so when she heard that of course she
so when she heard that of course she
so when she heard that of course she started crying too and I never even
started crying too and I never even
started crying too and I never even thought to ask you know for help during
thought to ask you know for help during
thought to ask you know for help during that people think that’s the crazy part
that people think that’s the crazy part
that people think that’s the crazy part how you could live like that but I was
how you could live like that but I was
how you could live like that but I was an athlete I was a fighter
an athlete I was a fighter
an athlete I was a fighter I was the first one to say if somebody
I was the first one to say if somebody
I was the first one to say if somebody in training would say oh ever sore ankle
in training would say oh ever sore ankle
in training would say oh ever sore ankle or a sore knee I’d say just so good oh
or a sore knee I’d say just so good oh
or a sore knee I’d say just so good oh come on were fighters so I never told
come on were fighters so I never told
come on were fighters so I never told anyone
anyone
anyone so then Holliday landed me with a
so then Holliday landed me with a
so then Holliday landed me with a hospital trip and their disability or an
hospital trip and their disability or an
hospital trip and their disability or an incurable disease that I was gonna have
incurable disease that I was gonna have
incurable disease that I was gonna have for the rest of my life and I remember I
for the rest of my life and I remember I
for the rest of my life and I remember I had done so much damage that I could
had done so much damage that I could
had done so much damage that I could barely walk let alone fight so I needed
barely walk let alone fight so I needed
barely walk let alone fight so I needed some time to rest and at that time I
some time to rest and at that time I
some time to rest and at that time I asked kickboxing Ireland for some time
asked kickboxing Ireland for some time
asked kickboxing Ireland for some time off ask them for some time before they
off ask them for some time before they
off ask them for some time before they made their selections for the World
made their selections for the World
made their selections for the World Championships team well unfortunately
Championships team well unfortunately
Championships team well unfortunately that team was picked while I was in
that team was picked while I was in
that team was picked while I was in hospital so now I’ve was faced with the
hospital so now I’ve was faced with the
hospital so now I’ve was faced with the darkest days that I can remember I have
darkest days that I can remember I have
darkest days that I can remember I have this disease and I was no longer part of
this disease and I was no longer part of
this disease and I was no longer part of a team that I loved because of us so and
a team that I loved because of us so and
a team that I loved because of us so and then I found myself faced with a serious
then I found myself faced with a serious
then I found myself faced with a serious challenge or a serious issue
challenge or a serious issue
challenge or a serious issue till I just quit I mean I was 30 years
till I just quit I mean I was 30 years
till I just quit I mean I was 30 years of age I’d already achieved so much of
of age I’d already achieved so much of
of age I’d already achieved so much of my sport already maybe I should just
my sport already maybe I should just
my sport already maybe I should just accept that this was now my life and
accept that this was now my life and
accept that this was now my life and just quit or did I just decided I was
just quit or did I just decided I was
just quit or did I just decided I was gonna fight I didn’t want quit I loved
gonna fight I didn’t want quit I loved
gonna fight I didn’t want quit I loved kickboxing kickboxing was my life
kickboxing kickboxing was my life
kickboxing kickboxing was my life so I decided no I’m gonna fight I’m
so I decided no I’m gonna fight I’m
so I decided no I’m gonna fight I’m gonna prove to myself that this doesn’t
gonna prove to myself that this doesn’t
gonna prove to myself that this doesn’t define who I am that I can actually
define who I am that I can actually
define who I am that I can actually cheat achieve something in this sport
cheat achieve something in this sport
cheat achieve something in this sport and a little bit of me the competitive
and a little bit of me the competitive
and a little bit of me the competitive side me was still a bit annoyed that it
side me was still a bit annoyed that it
side me was still a bit annoyed that it put me off this team so I was going to
put me off this team so I was going to
put me off this team so I was going to show them and myself that I could do
show them and myself that I could do
show them and myself that I could do this but that wasn’t an easy task I had
this but that wasn’t an easy task I had
this but that wasn’t an easy task I had done so much damage from ignoring the
done so much damage from ignoring the
done so much damage from ignoring the symptoms of Crohn’s disease over the
symptoms of Crohn’s disease over the
symptoms of Crohn’s disease over the last few years that my body was broken
last few years that my body was broken
last few years that my body was broken so I needed a lot of help to get this
so I needed a lot of help to get this
so I needed a lot of help to get this plan together what was I gonna do well I
plan together what was I gonna do well I
plan together what was I gonna do well I decided there was three things that I
decided there was three things that I
decided there was three things that I was going to do and the first one
was going to do and the first one
was going to do and the first one obviously was I had to get better I had
obviously was I had to get better I had
obviously was I had to get better I had to get the right medicine the right
to get the right medicine the right
to get the right medicine the right support to get myself better and during
support to get myself better and during
support to get myself better and during their next few months I tried more
their next few months I tried more
their next few months I tried more tablets than I could ever want to
tablets than I could ever want to
tablets than I could ever want to remember my bedroom started to look like
remember my bedroom started to look like
remember my bedroom started to look like a pharmacy until eventually I found the
a pharmacy until eventually I found the
a pharmacy until eventually I found the right match today now I inject myself
right match today now I inject myself
right match today now I inject myself once a week but in an injection I have a
once a week but in an injection I have a
once a week but in an injection I have a couple of other medicines that make my
couple of other medicines that make my
couple of other medicines that make my life a little bit better and has helped
life a little bit better and has helped
life a little bit better and has helped me to feel somewhat human again the
me to feel somewhat human again the
me to feel somewhat human again the second thing that I did was I had to
second thing that I did was I had to
second thing that I did was I had to completely change my diet and lifestyle
completely change my diet and lifestyle
completely change my diet and lifestyle in kickboxing we have a thing called
in kickboxing we have a thing called
in kickboxing we have a thing called making waste and what that means is when
making waste and what that means is when
making waste and what that means is when you compete you have to compete at a
you compete you have to compete at a
you compete you have to compete at a certain weight so for me that meant I
certain weight so for me that meant I
certain weight so for me that meant I had to stand on the scales before I
had to stand on the scales before I
had to stand on the scales before I fought and be 55 kilos and my idea of
fought and be 55 kilos and my idea of
fought and be 55 kilos and my idea of making weight in the past was not
making weight in the past was not
making weight in the past was not probably the most ideal for an athlete
probably the most ideal for an athlete
probably the most ideal for an athlete most of my year will be spent eating a
most of my year will be spent eating a
most of my year will be spent eating a lot of junk food and then the weeks
lot of junk food and then the weeks
lot of junk food and then the weeks leading up said competition I leave
leading up said competition I leave
leading up said competition I leave nothing and worse again hours before the
nothing and worse again hours before the
nothing and worse again hours before the weigh-in I would just throw on a sauna
weigh-in I would just throw on a sauna
weigh-in I would just throw on a sauna suit I would throw on three hoodies for
suit I would throw on three hoodies for
suit I would throw on three hoodies for tracks bottoms jump into the sauna and I
tracks bottoms jump into the sauna and I
tracks bottoms jump into the sauna and I would stay there until I dropped every
would stay there until I dropped every
would stay there until I dropped every single bead of water out of my body
single bead of water out of my body
single bead of water out of my body until I made the weight and then I’d
until I made the weight and then I’d
until I made the weight and then I’d compete and I did that over and over
compete and I did that over and over
compete and I did that over and over again for years so that has to
again for years so that has to
again for years so that has to completely go I ended up throwing away
completely go I ended up throwing away
completely go I ended up throwing away the sauna and the worst part was I had
the sauna and the worst part was I had
the sauna and the worst part was I had to give up Chinese food as well anybody
to give up Chinese food as well anybody
to give up Chinese food as well anybody here like a spice bag you’ll know
here like a spice bag you’ll know
here like a spice bag you’ll know exactly what I mean and then the third
exactly what I mean and then the third
exactly what I mean and then the third thing I had to do was I had to get fish
thing I had to do was I had to get fish
thing I had to do was I had to get fish if I was going to be a champion athlete
if I was going to be a champion athlete
if I was going to be a champion athlete again I had to train and that was
again I had to train and that was
again I had to train and that was definitely what era date the hardest
definitely what era date the hardest
definitely what era date the hardest part for me if anybody here has ever
part for me if anybody here has ever
part for me if anybody here has ever tried to give up smoking or try a new
tried to give up smoking or try a new
tried to give up smoking or try a new diet
diet
diet wanna know exactly what I mean here
wanna know exactly what I mean here
wanna know exactly what I mean here there was days where I had just no
there was days where I had just no
there was days where I had just no energy I was absolutely exhausted and I
energy I was absolutely exhausted and I
energy I was absolutely exhausted and I just wanted to give up I just thought
just wanted to give up I just thought
just wanted to give up I just thought why am I doing this to myself why am I
why am I doing this to myself why am I
why am I doing this to myself why am I putting myself through this and I
putting myself through this and I
putting myself through this and I remembered why at that stage I didn’t
remembered why at that stage I didn’t
remembered why at that stage I didn’t want to be seen as the girl who was sick
want to be seen as the girl who was sick
want to be seen as the girl who was sick I knew what they say or she used to be a
I knew what they say or she used to be a
I knew what they say or she used to be a really good fighter but then she got
really good fighter but then she got
really good fighter but then she got sick and had to quit no I was still the
sick and had to quit no I was still the
sick and had to quit no I was still the kickboxer this is my identity this is
kickboxer this is my identity this is
kickboxer this is my identity this is who I was so I kept going and eventually
who I was so I kept going and eventually
who I was so I kept going and eventually the good days started I ignore me the
the good days started I ignore me the
the good days started I ignore me the bad days and I got to a level of fitness
bad days and I got to a level of fitness
bad days and I got to a level of fitness that was pretty impressive I was really
that was pretty impressive I was really
that was pretty impressive I was really happy with it and I felt healthy for the
happy with it and I felt healthy for the
happy with it and I felt healthy for the first time in years I’d felt really
first time in years I’d felt really
first time in years I’d felt really healthy I was no longer struggling
healthy I was no longer struggling
healthy I was no longer struggling through a training session having her
through a training session having her
through a training session having her slog and being exhausted after it I felt
slog and being exhausted after it I felt
slog and being exhausted after it I felt good about it but I still wasn’t there
good about it but I still wasn’t there
good about it but I still wasn’t there there was one more thing that I had to
there was one more thing that I had to
there was one more thing that I had to do and I wanted to win something so I
do and I wanted to win something so I
do and I wanted to win something so I decided that I wanted to win the biggest
decided that I wanted to win the biggest
decided that I wanted to win the biggest work hope that we have in kickboxing and
work hope that we have in kickboxing and
work hope that we have in kickboxing and I remember it well it was March 2015
I remember it well it was March 2015
I remember it well it was March 2015 here I was with 4,000 competitors across
here I was with 4,000 competitors across
here I was with 4,000 competitors across the world across all way categories and
the world across all way categories and
the world across all way categories and I was having the best day of my life my
I was having the best day of my life my
I was having the best day of my life my performances were brilliant and I
performances were brilliant and I
performances were brilliant and I managed to get myself to the final of
managed to get myself to the final of
managed to get myself to the final of that event and I was so happy to get the
that event and I was so happy to get the
that event and I was so happy to get the final to explain that they I guess a
final to explain that they I guess a
final to explain that they I guess a final in kickboxing World Cup terms is a
final in kickboxing World Cup terms is a
final in kickboxing World Cup terms is a pretty impressive thing to do it’s not
pretty impressive thing to do it’s not
pretty impressive thing to do it’s not easy to do but there was still a burning
easy to do but there was still a burning
easy to do but there was still a burning desire inside me to go without one step
desire inside me to go without one step
desire inside me to go without one step further I wanted to be on top of that
further I wanted to be on top of that
further I wanted to be on top of that podium so there was just one problem in
podium so there was just one problem in
podium so there was just one problem in my way and that was the world champion I
my way and that was the world champion I
my way and that was the world champion I have to beat her so here I was in the
have to beat her so here I was in the
have to beat her so here I was in the final of the biggest World Cup and in
final of the biggest World Cup and in
final of the biggest World Cup and in order to get to that final there’s a
order to get to that final there’s a
order to get to that final there’s a little walkway it’s about 10 meters long
little walkway it’s about 10 meters long
little walkway it’s about 10 meters long to me it felt like 10 milah I was
to me it felt like 10 milah I was
to me it felt like 10 milah I was walking up that that walkway and I was
walking up that that walkway and I was
walking up that that walkway and I was so nervous my heart was pounding the
so nervous my heart was pounding the
so nervous my heart was pounding the sweat was pouring down my face I cannot
sweat was pouring down my face I cannot
sweat was pouring down my face I cannot even remember feeling the feet beneath
even remember feeling the feet beneath
even remember feeling the feet beneath me at that point and I got to this stage
me at that point and I got to this stage
me at that point and I got to this stage and next thing the bell rang I’m not fat
and next thing the bell rang I’m not fat
and next thing the bell rang I’m not fat like four seconds later the bell rang
like four seconds later the bell rang
like four seconds later the bell rang again I had no idea what was happening
again I had no idea what was happening
again I had no idea what was happening and I realized the fight was over so I
and I realized the fight was over so I
and I realized the fight was over so I looked over my shoulder and then big red
looked over my shoulder and then big red
looked over my shoulder and then big red flashing lights there it said 14 points
flashing lights there it said 14 points
flashing lights there it said 14 points I thought I scored 14 points have no
I thought I scored 14 points have no
I thought I scored 14 points have no recollection of us but then I looked
recollection of us but then I looked
recollection of us but then I looked over the other side and then big blue
over the other side and then big blue
over the other side and then big blue writing it’s at 11 points and I was at
writing it’s at 11 points and I was at
writing it’s at 11 points and I was at that exact moment that I realized I’d
that exact moment that I realized I’d
that exact moment that I realized I’d won but one that feeling is the best
won but one that feeling is the best
won but one that feeling is the best feeling I can remember it wasn’t the
feeling I can remember it wasn’t the
feeling I can remember it wasn’t the most important one of my career beating
most important one of my career beating
most important one of my career beating the world champion win in a World Cup
the world champion win in a World Cup
the world champion win in a World Cup when nobody thinks that you can do it
when nobody thinks that you can do it
when nobody thinks that you can do it and to be honest when I had even dead
and to be honest when I had even dead
and to be honest when I had even dead and myself that I could do it so what I
and myself that I could do it so what I
and myself that I could do it so what I learned from that was that no matter
learned from that was that no matter
learned from that was that no matter what obstacle LifeStraw was at me I’m
what obstacle LifeStraw was at me I’m
what obstacle LifeStraw was at me I’m still going to be able to find a way to
still going to be able to find a way to
still going to be able to find a way to overcome that and be successful and what
overcome that and be successful and what
overcome that and be successful and what I also learned from having problems
I also learned from having problems
I also learned from having problems disease is that sometimes things aren’t
disease is that sometimes things aren’t
disease is that sometimes things aren’t always as they seem sometimes you might
always as they seem sometimes you might
always as they seem sometimes you might see somebody but you’ve no idea what’s
see somebody but you’ve no idea what’s
see somebody but you’ve no idea what’s going on behind the scenes so what I
going on behind the scenes so what I
going on behind the scenes so what I could ask you to do one thing leaving
could ask you to do one thing leaving
could ask you to do one thing leaving here it’s nice that will be the next
here it’s nice that will be the next
here it’s nice that will be the next time that you guys are out and you’re
time that you guys are out and you’re
time that you guys are out and you’re queuing for a toilet and somebody bowls
queuing for a toilet and somebody bowls
queuing for a toilet and somebody bowls past you and straight into this disabled
past you and straight into this disabled
past you and straight into this disabled toilet that you might just think twice
toilet that you might just think twice
toilet that you might just think twice before giving them that evil stare thank
before giving them that evil stare thank
before giving them that evil stare thank you very much
you very much
you very much [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] you
you
you [Music]
”
Be First to Comment