thank you so much hi everybody good afternoon it’s a pleasure being here
afternoon it’s a pleasure being here
afternoon it’s a pleasure being here thank you so much for inviting me as you
thank you so much for inviting me as you
thank you so much for inviting me as you know I am knitting oil and I’m blind but
know I am knitting oil and I’m blind but
know I am knitting oil and I’m blind but so is love so maybe you should get over
so is love so maybe you should get over
so is love so maybe you should get over it
it
it this is usually how I start a stand-up
this is usually how I start a stand-up
this is usually how I start a stand-up comedy set particularly in mainstream
comedy set particularly in mainstream
comedy set particularly in mainstream comedy clubs because the audience
comedy clubs because the audience
comedy clubs because the audience sitting there freezes with shock and
sitting there freezes with shock and
sitting there freezes with shock and surprise and a range of emotions in
surprise and a range of emotions in
surprise and a range of emotions in between saying oh my god she’s disabled
between saying oh my god she’s disabled
between saying oh my god she’s disabled and she’s laughing but why is this
and she’s laughing but why is this
and she’s laughing but why is this surprised because somehow we have this
surprised because somehow we have this
surprised because somehow we have this notion around people with disabilities
notion around people with disabilities
notion around people with disabilities we think that they’re not individuals
we think that they’re not individuals
we think that they’re not individuals first they’re really either inspiring
first they’re really either inspiring
first they’re really either inspiring memes or there are these depressed
memes or there are these depressed
memes or there are these depressed individuals right and the problem with
individuals right and the problem with
individuals right and the problem with that is that we somehow think that
that is that we somehow think that
that is that we somehow think that they’re either super humans or less than
they’re either super humans or less than
they’re either super humans or less than human beings basically not quote unquote
human beings basically not quote unquote
human beings basically not quote unquote normal someone who we don’t have to
normal someone who we don’t have to
normal someone who we don’t have to engage with someone who’s that other
engage with someone who’s that other
engage with someone who’s that other what happens when you treat people with
what happens when you treat people with
what happens when you treat people with disabilities as this other is that
disabilities as this other is that
disabilities as this other is that questions begin to flow how what all
questions begin to flow how what all
questions begin to flow how what all that happens so what happened once was I
that happens so what happened once was I
that happens so what happened once was I was that I was at a clinic and crack my
was that I was at a clinic and crack my
was that I was at a clinic and crack my ribs and I was waiting for scans and
ribs and I was waiting for scans and
ribs and I was waiting for scans and x-rays to happen and the receptionist
x-rays to happen and the receptionist
x-rays to happen and the receptionist thought that I was in tremendous pain
thought that I was in tremendous pain
thought that I was in tremendous pain switch started having a polite
switch started having a polite
switch started having a polite conversation with me and in the middle
conversation with me and in the middle
conversation with me and in the middle of the conversation she said oh how did
of the conversation she said oh how did
of the conversation she said oh how did this happen and I was really frustrated
this happen and I was really frustrated
this happen and I was really frustrated with myself I said you know I just
with myself I said you know I just
with myself I said you know I just wasn’t paying attention and I fell and
wasn’t paying attention and I fell and
wasn’t paying attention and I fell and she stopped to me she said I’m not
she stopped to me she said I’m not
she stopped to me she said I’m not talking about your ribs I’m talking
talking about your ribs I’m talking
talking about your ribs I’m talking about your eyes so how did this happen
about your eyes so how did this happen
about your eyes so how did this happen the curiosity the questions this is an
the curiosity the questions this is an
the curiosity the questions this is an environment that every person with a
environment that every person with a
environment that every person with a disability learns to
disability learns to
disability learns to awkward so let’s see let’s sort of
awkward so let’s see let’s sort of
awkward so let’s see let’s sort of counter some of the curiosities that you
counter some of the curiosities that you
counter some of the curiosities that you may be bubbling with maybe yes I’m blind
may be bubbling with maybe yes I’m blind
may be bubbling with maybe yes I’m blind but I can eat food myself because I
but I can eat food myself because I
but I can eat food myself because I don’t think you also need a mirror to
don’t think you also need a mirror to
don’t think you also need a mirror to spot your mouth I’m blind but I do watch
spot your mouth I’m blind but I do watch
spot your mouth I’m blind but I do watch firms and I do dream at night I of
firms and I do dream at night I of
firms and I do dream at night I of course I’m blind but my disability is
course I’m blind but my disability is
course I’m blind but my disability is not contagious it’s not I’m not disabled
not contagious it’s not I’m not disabled
not contagious it’s not I’m not disabled because my family was cursed or that my
because my family was cursed or that my
because my family was cursed or that my mother forgot to remedy the evil eye
mother forgot to remedy the evil eye
mother forgot to remedy the evil eye that an aunt would have cast on our
that an aunt would have cast on our
that an aunt would have cast on our family or on me right and let me tell
family or on me right and let me tell
family or on me right and let me tell you the presumed misfortune that
you the presumed misfortune that
you the presumed misfortune that surrounds a person with a disability
surrounds a person with a disability
surrounds a person with a disability will not come to you by association but
will not come to you by association but
will not come to you by association but my life before 15 was not fraught with
my life before 15 was not fraught with
my life before 15 was not fraught with curiosities was not fraught with
curiosities was not fraught with
curiosities was not fraught with questions because who was i before them
questions because who was i before them
questions because who was i before them I was a non-disabled kid I was as
I was a non-disabled kid I was as
I was a non-disabled kid I was as regular as kids can ever be naughty
regular as kids can ever be naughty
regular as kids can ever be naughty jumping around
jumping around
jumping around chattering chatting etc etc I was at
chattering chatting etc etc I was at
chattering chatting etc etc I was at four I was learning I was training
four I was learning I was training
four I was learning I was training myself in classical dance I was training
myself in classical dance I was training
myself in classical dance I was training myself to paint at six I was training
myself to paint at six I was training
myself to paint at six I was training myself to swim at 14 I knew that I
myself to swim at 14 I knew that I
myself to swim at 14 I knew that I invested 10 years of my life in becoming
invested 10 years of my life in becoming
invested 10 years of my life in becoming a portrait painter and at 15 I was
a portrait painter and at 15 I was
a portrait painter and at 15 I was diagnosed with an incurable irreversible
diagnosed with an incurable irreversible
diagnosed with an incurable irreversible eye disorder which would probably render
eye disorder which would probably render
eye disorder which would probably render me blind
me blind
me blind what happened then because people are
what happened then because people are
what happened then because people are like oh when you got this news this must
like oh when you got this news this must
like oh when you got this news this must have been the most traumatic like thing
have been the most traumatic like thing
have been the most traumatic like thing of your life and I said no because I as
of your life and I said no because I as
of your life and I said no because I as a 15 year old with all the confusions
a 15 year old with all the confusions
a 15 year old with all the confusions that go around and teenage anyway could
that go around and teenage anyway could
that go around and teenage anyway could hardly fathom what a life with blindness
hardly fathom what a life with blindness
hardly fathom what a life with blindness would mean sure I knew one thing that
would mean sure I knew one thing that
would mean sure I knew one thing that there will be major changes may be
there will be major changes may be
there will be major changes may be unpleasant but also that my brushes
unpleasant but also that my brushes
unpleasant but also that my brushes wouldn’t be my best friend’s anymore
wouldn’t be my best friend’s anymore
wouldn’t be my best friend’s anymore what happened then in all low moments
what happened then in all low moments
what happened then in all low moments you turn to philosophy to these positive
you turn to philosophy to these positive
you turn to philosophy to these positive statements that everybody gives us so
statements that everybody gives us so
statements that everybody gives us so the statement that I stuck to was
the statement that I stuck to was
the statement that I stuck to was there’s always a light at the end of the
there’s always a light at the end of the
there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel but the only difference was that
tunnel but the only difference was that
tunnel but the only difference was that it wasn’t a mere positive state
it wasn’t a mere positive state
it wasn’t a mere positive state my family was a living manifestation of
my family was a living manifestation of
my family was a living manifestation of this light so the light for me was a
this light so the light for me was a
this light so the light for me was a reality I had I have amazingly
reality I had I have amazingly
reality I had I have amazingly supportive parents a very loving and
supportive parents a very loving and
supportive parents a very loving and caring sister a brother who’s awesome
caring sister a brother who’s awesome
caring sister a brother who’s awesome living his successful life with a
living his successful life with a
living his successful life with a blindness so here was a family an avatar
blindness so here was a family an avatar
blindness so here was a family an avatar of that lights that hope at the end of
of that lights that hope at the end of
of that lights that hope at the end of the tunnel a reality for me but that
the tunnel a reality for me but that
the tunnel a reality for me but that didn’t mean that I didn’t have to scrape
didn’t mean that I didn’t have to scrape
didn’t mean that I didn’t have to scrape through the darkness I sometimes played
through the darkness I sometimes played
through the darkness I sometimes played I sometimes it’s depressed anxious
I sometimes it’s depressed anxious
I sometimes it’s depressed anxious confused and the range of things so one
confused and the range of things so one
confused and the range of things so one of the days when I was sitting there
of the days when I was sitting there
of the days when I was sitting there thinking why me what do I do
thinking why me what do I do
thinking why me what do I do my spiritual master sri guru balaji
my spiritual master sri guru balaji
my spiritual master sri guru balaji tumbling he sat across me and he said
tumbling he sat across me and he said
tumbling he sat across me and he said Nidhi don’t think why me look at
Nidhi don’t think why me look at
Nidhi don’t think why me look at yourself you have a family who loves you
yourself you have a family who loves you
yourself you have a family who loves you and who gives you unflinching support go
and who gives you unflinching support go
and who gives you unflinching support go beyond yourself look at other women with
beyond yourself look at other women with
beyond yourself look at other women with disabilities and you’ll know what you
disabilities and you’ll know what you
disabilities and you’ll know what you need to do in life I think that was the
need to do in life I think that was the
need to do in life I think that was the day that I got really really conscious
day that I got really really conscious
day that I got really really conscious of my privilege and I took an oath that
of my privilege and I took an oath that
of my privilege and I took an oath that I would create this support that I was
I would create this support that I was
I would create this support that I was fortunate enough to have for other women
fortunate enough to have for other women
fortunate enough to have for other women with disabilities like me sure but when
with disabilities like me sure but when
with disabilities like me sure but when I started this life with blindness I
I started this life with blindness I
I started this life with blindness I also felt very fortunate because I had
also felt very fortunate because I had
also felt very fortunate because I had experiences that any of you as
experiences that any of you as
experiences that any of you as non-disabled people would not have and
non-disabled people would not have and
non-disabled people would not have and I’m going to share some of them here the
I’m going to share some of them here the
I’m going to share some of them here the first learning or experience was that
first learning or experience was that
first learning or experience was that disability gives you stardom you want to
disability gives you stardom you want to
disability gives you stardom you want to know how when I walk into the room
know how when I walk into the room
know how when I walk into the room everybody starts looking at me when I
everybody starts looking at me when I
everybody starts looking at me when I walk into a restaurant stairs and
walk into a restaurant stairs and
walk into a restaurant stairs and whispers follow when I walk into a
whispers follow when I walk into a
whispers follow when I walk into a cinema hall people forget that Shahrukh
cinema hall people forget that Shahrukh
cinema hall people forget that Shahrukh Khan’s dawn dancing on the screen the
Khan’s dawn dancing on the screen the
Khan’s dawn dancing on the screen the other thing that I learned about
other thing that I learned about
other thing that I learned about disability was that disability is
disability was that disability is
disability was that disability is mutually exclusive with everything else
mutually exclusive with everything else
mutually exclusive with everything else so this auntie walks up to me at a
so this auntie walks up to me at a
so this auntie walks up to me at a wedding which has happened many a times
wedding which has happened many a times
wedding which has happened many a times not my wedding somebody else’s and she
not my wedding somebody else’s and she
not my wedding somebody else’s and she says beta my dear baby you’re so
says beta my dear baby you’re so
says beta my dear baby you’re so beautiful you’re still blind
beautiful you’re still blind
beautiful you’re still blind the third thing that I learned was that
the third thing that I learned was that
the third thing that I learned was that the minute you can’t see people are sure
the minute you can’t see people are sure
the minute you can’t see people are sure that you can’t speak and you can’t hear
that you can’t speak and you can’t hear
that you can’t speak and you can’t hear so as soon as I walk in a room with
so as soon as I walk in a room with
so as soon as I walk in a room with someone the conversations flow in that
someone the conversations flow in that
someone the conversations flow in that direction I remember recently my
direction I remember recently my
direction I remember recently my colleague was travelling with me and
colleague was travelling with me and
colleague was travelling with me and somebody in a restaurant said madam what
somebody in a restaurant said madam what
somebody in a restaurant said madam what will Madame have will you please tell us
will Madame have will you please tell us
will Madame have will you please tell us she got irritated and she said Madame’s
she got irritated and she said Madame’s
she got irritated and she said Madame’s tummy Madame’s mouths please ask her but
tummy Madame’s mouths please ask her but
tummy Madame’s mouths please ask her but the very important thing I learned about
the very important thing I learned about
the very important thing I learned about myself as a disabled person was that I’m
myself as a disabled person was that I’m
myself as a disabled person was that I’m very lazy and I am NOT cured because I’m
very lazy and I am NOT cured because I’m
very lazy and I am NOT cured because I’m lazy enough not to find a cure because
lazy enough not to find a cure because
lazy enough not to find a cure because everybody in this world knows about your
everybody in this world knows about your
everybody in this world knows about your disability and the probable cures better
disability and the probable cures better
disability and the probable cures better than you the most interesting
than you the most interesting
than you the most interesting experiences were the experiences of my
experiences were the experiences of my
experiences were the experiences of my family and I’ll share one of them here
family and I’ll share one of them here
family and I’ll share one of them here just one my father when I was diagnosed
just one my father when I was diagnosed
just one my father when I was diagnosed at fifteen with an incurable
at fifteen with an incurable
at fifteen with an incurable irreversible eye disorder I was told by
irreversible eye disorder I was told by
irreversible eye disorder I was told by his very educated doctor practicing
his very educated doctor practicing
his very educated doctor practicing doctor friend that listen wait for three
doctor friend that listen wait for three
doctor friend that listen wait for three years Hydra disability let her become
years Hydra disability let her become
years Hydra disability let her become legal get her married otherwise she will
legal get her married otherwise she will
legal get her married otherwise she will remain unmarried and a burden on you for
remain unmarried and a burden on you for
remain unmarried and a burden on you for all the rest of her life my father
all the rest of her life my father
all the rest of her life my father turned around and said sure thank you
turned around and said sure thank you
turned around and said sure thank you I’m not hiding her disability it’s not a
I’m not hiding her disability it’s not a
I’m not hiding her disability it’s not a shame I marriage is not the only girl
shame I marriage is not the only girl
shame I marriage is not the only girl goal for my daughters and what I need to
goal for my daughters and what I need to
goal for my daughters and what I need to do now is not do all of this I need to
do now is not do all of this I need to
do now is not do all of this I need to empower her I need to be her support
empower her I need to be her support
empower her I need to be her support while she finds or rediscovers
while she finds or rediscovers
while she finds or rediscovers independence and joy in a life with
independence and joy in a life with
independence and joy in a life with blindness but why did the doctor feel
blindness but why did the doctor feel
blindness but why did the doctor feel that I wouldn’t get married why would
that I wouldn’t get married why would
that I wouldn’t get married why would women with disabilities not get married
women with disabilities not get married
women with disabilities not get married because somehow women with disabilities
because somehow women with disabilities
because somehow women with disabilities are not considered women enough you know
are not considered women enough you know
are not considered women enough you know in a culture in a context where for us
in a culture in a context where for us
in a culture in a context where for us women still are fighting these images of
women still are fighting these images of
women still are fighting these images of being the correct woman the right woman
being the correct woman the right woman
being the correct woman the right woman the perfect mother the perfect wife the
the perfect mother the perfect wife the
the perfect mother the perfect wife the good everything in quotes the good
good everything in quotes the good
good everything in quotes the good mother the good wife the good girl the
mother the good wife the good girl the
mother the good wife the good girl the good daughter women with disabilities
good daughter women with disabilities
good daughter women with disabilities assumed to be just seekers of care
assumed to be just seekers of care
assumed to be just seekers of care you know they can never be nurturers
you know they can never be nurturers
you know they can never be nurturers they can never be carers and they’re of
they can never be carers and they’re of
they can never be carers and they’re of course supposed to comply with all these
course supposed to comply with all these
course supposed to comply with all these gendered roles which presumably they
gendered roles which presumably they
gendered roles which presumably they won’t and so they can’t get married that
won’t and so they can’t get married that
won’t and so they can’t get married that really gave me a direction just this one
really gave me a direction just this one
really gave me a direction just this one experience so armed with the post
experience so armed with the post
experience so armed with the post graduation and mass-media refusing to
graduation and mass-media refusing to
graduation and mass-media refusing to work with mainstream media organizations
work with mainstream media organizations
work with mainstream media organizations I dived into a life into the world of
I dived into a life into the world of
I dived into a life into the world of activism and I decided to work as my
activism and I decided to work as my
activism and I decided to work as my goal was for the betterment of girls and
goal was for the betterment of girls and
goal was for the betterment of girls and women with disabilities to really work
women with disabilities to really work
women with disabilities to really work on their sexual and reproductive health
on their sexual and reproductive health
on their sexual and reproductive health and rights I actually to confess didn’t
and rights I actually to confess didn’t
and rights I actually to confess didn’t know the what working on sexuality and
know the what working on sexuality and
know the what working on sexuality and sexual rights would mean in this society
sexual rights would mean in this society
sexual rights would mean in this society for me in my head I was exposed to
for me in my head I was exposed to
for me in my head I was exposed to sexuality at the age of nine at a
sexuality at the age of nine at a
sexuality at the age of nine at a cousin’s wedding when you know people
cousin’s wedding when you know people
cousin’s wedding when you know people were giggling around all these wedding
were giggling around all these wedding
were giggling around all these wedding songs which have not-so-subtle in
songs which have not-so-subtle in
songs which have not-so-subtle in windows about lovemaking and bedroom and
windows about lovemaking and bedroom and
windows about lovemaking and bedroom and night and etc etc so moany sexuality was
night and etc etc so moany sexuality was
night and etc etc so moany sexuality was that simple but apparently attraction
that simple but apparently attraction
that simple but apparently attraction sexuality sexual rights are not so
sexuality sexual rights are not so
sexuality sexual rights are not so simple in society and I learned it the
simple in society and I learned it the
simple in society and I learned it the hard way there was a lot of backlash
hard way there was a lot of backlash
hard way there was a lot of backlash there was venom directed towards me and
there was venom directed towards me and
there was venom directed towards me and the questions always were why sexuality
the questions always were why sexuality
the questions always were why sexuality there is education there’s employment
there is education there’s employment
there is education there’s employment there’s accessibility and this so
there’s accessibility and this so
there’s accessibility and this so important why sexuality and this is what
important why sexuality and this is what
important why sexuality and this is what I was faced with when I started my
I was faced with when I started my
I was faced with when I started my journey as an activist in 2011 sure I
journey as an activist in 2011 sure I
journey as an activist in 2011 sure I thought things will change over a period
thought things will change over a period
thought things will change over a period of time you know there’ll be more
of time you know there’ll be more
of time you know there’ll be more awareness which there may be but even in
awareness which there may be but even in
awareness which there may be but even in 2015 when the film margarita with the
2015 when the film margarita with the
2015 when the film margarita with the straw was released it was about a girl a
straw was released it was about a girl a
straw was released it was about a girl a young girl with cerebral palsy who talks
young girl with cerebral palsy who talks
young girl with cerebral palsy who talks about her love her desires or sexuality
about her love her desires or sexuality
about her love her desires or sexuality and I remember a TV actress then stood
and I remember a TV actress then stood
and I remember a TV actress then stood up and said listen this is not important
up and said listen this is not important
up and said listen this is not important for people with disabilities you know if
for people with disabilities you know if
for people with disabilities you know if they have 10 things on their mind sex
they have 10 things on their mind sex
they have 10 things on their mind sex would be the tenth and that’s what I
would be the tenth and that’s what I
would be the tenth and that’s what I realized
realized
realized we have the superpower to turn ordinary
we have the superpower to turn ordinary
we have the superpower to turn ordinary film at TV actresses into mind readers
film at TV actresses into mind readers
film at TV actresses into mind readers because how else would she know what we
because how else would she know what we
because how else would she know what we want yeah
want yeah
want yeah why would someone force us to choose
why would someone force us to choose
why would someone force us to choose between education and sexuality between
between education and sexuality between
between education and sexuality between employment and sexuality who’s someone
employment and sexuality who’s someone
employment and sexuality who’s someone else to speak on our behalf and that’s
else to speak on our behalf and that’s
else to speak on our behalf and that’s the day I realized that women with
the day I realized that women with
the day I realized that women with disabilities really are silenced
disabilities really are silenced
disabilities really are silenced they are silenced they’re invisible and
they are silenced they’re invisible and
they are silenced they’re invisible and I always crack a joke that it’s a
I always crack a joke that it’s a
I always crack a joke that it’s a privilege to be disabled because the
privilege to be disabled because the
privilege to be disabled because the minute I am disabled and thus white
minute I am disabled and thus white
minute I am disabled and thus white canes with me people don’t look at me
canes with me people don’t look at me
canes with me people don’t look at me because I’m I’m so I can be so fat and
because I’m I’m so I can be so fat and
because I’m I’m so I can be so fat and invisible because the slim white cane is
invisible because the slim white cane is
invisible because the slim white cane is with me right the wheelchair the white
with me right the wheelchair the white
with me right the wheelchair the white canes the hearing aids these become the
canes the hearing aids these become the
canes the hearing aids these become the identity of the women and they stopped
identity of the women and they stopped
identity of the women and they stopped they’re fine
they’re fine
they’re fine this is not the only reaction that we
this is not the only reaction that we
this is not the only reaction that we were grappling with this activist I got
were grappling with this activist I got
were grappling with this activist I got a lot of personal comments where people
a lot of personal comments where people
a lot of personal comments where people said oh you want to feel like you’re
said oh you want to feel like you’re
said oh you want to feel like you’re doing some things so sure you know this
doing some things so sure you know this
doing some things so sure you know this is pseudo activism you’re doing elitist
is pseudo activism you’re doing elitist
is pseudo activism you’re doing elitist activism because you’re like from Mumbai
activism because you’re like from Mumbai
activism because you’re like from Mumbai and educated in English speaking you are
and educated in English speaking you are
and educated in English speaking you are single and young so of course you’re
single and young so of course you’re
single and young so of course you’re desperate and that’s why you’re working
desperate and that’s why you’re working
desperate and that’s why you’re working on sexuality but the best one was when
on sexuality but the best one was when
on sexuality but the best one was when someone from the disability community
someone from the disability community
someone from the disability community called me and said listen the word is
called me and said listen the word is
called me and said listen the word is going around very joyfully he said the
going around very joyfully he said the
going around very joyfully he said the word is going around that nigger will
word is going around that nigger will
word is going around that nigger will only knows to talk about sex I was
only knows to talk about sex I was
only knows to talk about sex I was really offended as a young woman I
really offended as a young woman I
really offended as a young woman I paused I thought and then I replied I
paused I thought and then I replied I
paused I thought and then I replied I said what do you guys mean by naughty
said what do you guys mean by naughty
said what do you guys mean by naughty girl only knows to talk about sex what
girl only knows to talk about sex what
girl only knows to talk about sex what about doing it
about doing it
about doing it he was stumped he no response to the Hat
he was stumped he no response to the Hat
he was stumped he no response to the Hat but it was very interesting because when
but it was very interesting because when
but it was very interesting because when I started my work I call researched and
I started my work I call researched and
I started my work I call researched and co-authored a website sexuality and
co-authored a website sexuality and
co-authored a website sexuality and disability dot o-r-g working with a
disability dot o-r-g working with a
disability dot o-r-g working with a Mumbai based nonprofit point of view and
Mumbai based nonprofit point of view and
Mumbai based nonprofit point of view and as way I was very excited about the work
as way I was very excited about the work
as way I was very excited about the work and I went and I shared it with my
and I went and I shared it with my
and I went and I shared it with my friends I said you know this is a
friends I said you know this is a
friends I said you know this is a website we’re talking to girls and women
website we’re talking to girls and women
website we’re talking to girls and women with disabilities we’re talking about
with disabilities we’re talking about
with disabilities we’re talking about sexual and
sexual and
sexual and productive health and rights and we will
productive health and rights and we will
productive health and rights and we will soon start trainings in this area and I
soon start trainings in this area and I
soon start trainings in this area and I would really like to take this work
would really like to take this work
would really like to take this work ahead so if I told a friend I was like
ahead so if I told a friend I was like
ahead so if I told a friend I was like we’re talking about everything from body
we’re talking about everything from body
we’re talking about everything from body acceptance to consent to sexuality
acceptance to consent to sexuality
acceptance to consent to sexuality relationship marriage parenting violence
relationship marriage parenting violence
relationship marriage parenting violence abuse parenting as a person with a
abuse parenting as a person with a
abuse parenting as a person with a disability and the the man turned around
disability and the the man turned around
disability and the the man turned around and said what did you say Mary and I
and said what did you say Mary and I
and said what did you say Mary and I said yes how will these disabled women
said yes how will these disabled women
said yes how will these disabled women get married are you now going to force
get married are you now going to force
get married are you now going to force us men to get married to them so I
us men to get married to them so I
us men to get married to them so I turned to the next person next friend
turned to the next person next friend
turned to the next person next friend and I shared the same thing the same
and I shared the same thing the same
and I shared the same thing the same spectrum of work and she said oh did you
spectrum of work and she said oh did you
spectrum of work and she said oh did you see parenting how would women with
see parenting how would women with
see parenting how would women with disabilities be parents what if
disabilities be parents what if
disabilities be parents what if something happens to the child what does
something happens to the child what does
something happens to the child what does the child gets hurt I said oh what if
the child gets hurt I said oh what if
the child gets hurt I said oh what if your child gets hurt and she said with
your child gets hurt and she said with
your child gets hurt and she said with my child is very naughty he always gets
my child is very naughty he always gets
my child is very naughty he always gets hurt so I said sure your child gets hurt
hurt so I said sure your child gets hurt
hurt so I said sure your child gets hurt because he is naughty a disabled woman’s
because he is naughty a disabled woman’s
because he is naughty a disabled woman’s child gets hurt because she’s disabled I
child gets hurt because she’s disabled I
child gets hurt because she’s disabled I went to the third frame and I again
went to the third frame and I again
went to the third frame and I again shared the same thing and she said did
shared the same thing and she said did
shared the same thing and she said did you see um sexuality and sex I’m
you see um sexuality and sex I’m
you see um sexuality and sex I’m parenting and I said yeah she said oh
parenting and I said yeah she said oh
parenting and I said yeah she said oh you mean these women on wheelchairs can
you mean these women on wheelchairs can
you mean these women on wheelchairs can have I mean can conceive obviously the
have I mean can conceive obviously the
have I mean can conceive obviously the glaring omission was can they have sex
glaring omission was can they have sex
glaring omission was can they have sex and that’s when I realized that in India
and that’s when I realized that in India
and that’s when I realized that in India we generally say hi how are you how do
we generally say hi how are you how do
we generally say hi how are you how do you do this is a greeting but when it
you do this is a greeting but when it
you do this is a greeting but when it comes to people with disabilities we
comes to people with disabilities we
comes to people with disabilities we don’t even pause to think and we say hi
don’t even pause to think and we say hi
don’t even pause to think and we say hi how are you how do you do it that’s the
how are you how do you do it that’s the
how are you how do you do it that’s the line that we operate on right but then
line that we operate on right but then
line that we operate on right but then someone turned around and said don’t
someone turned around and said don’t
someone turned around and said don’t worry ha we have very special
worry ha we have very special
worry ha we have very special arrangements for people with
arrangements for people with
arrangements for people with disabilities and particularly women
disabilities and particularly women
disabilities and particularly women because women with disabilities are
because women with disabilities are
because women with disabilities are quite frankly like quite undesirable
quite frankly like quite undesirable
quite frankly like quite undesirable that of I don’t think they also have
that of I don’t think they also have
that of I don’t think they also have desires because they have to grapple
desires because they have to grapple
desires because they have to grapple with so much more and they unde a table
with so much more and they unde a table
with so much more and they unde a table and unmanageable but there’s one
and unmanageable but there’s one
and unmanageable but there’s one solution so burn survivor a friend of
solution so burn survivor a friend of
solution so burn survivor a friend of mine who was a burn survivor she came to
mine who was a burn survivor she came to
mine who was a burn survivor she came to me and she said oh I’ve been advised
me and she said oh I’ve been advised
me and she said oh I’ve been advised very strongly by my neighbors that I
very strongly by my neighbors that I
very strongly by my neighbors that I should marry a black
should marry a black
should marry a black man so then my quote-unquote ugliness
man so then my quote-unquote ugliness
man so then my quote-unquote ugliness doesn’t affect him and that was a
doesn’t affect him and that was a
doesn’t affect him and that was a perfect solution because why don’t we
perfect solution because why don’t we
perfect solution because why don’t we put disabled and disabled together so
put disabled and disabled together so
put disabled and disabled together so then we can live in this world of the
then we can live in this world of the
then we can live in this world of the quote/unquote normal and that’s what
quote/unquote normal and that’s what
quote/unquote normal and that’s what happens it’s very interesting because
happens it’s very interesting because
happens it’s very interesting because it’s forces people into a lot of
it’s forces people into a lot of
it’s forces people into a lot of situations as well and I’ll share a very
situations as well and I’ll share a very
situations as well and I’ll share a very little small situation here where my
little small situation here where my
little small situation here where my friend was waiting for me in a
friend was waiting for me in a
friend was waiting for me in a restaurant we were meeting for a cup of
restaurant we were meeting for a cup of
restaurant we were meeting for a cup of coffee and he was also visually impaired
coffee and he was also visually impaired
coffee and he was also visually impaired and he reached early so he was just
and he reached early so he was just
and he reached early so he was just calling me and saying listen when you
calling me and saying listen when you
calling me and saying listen when you enter the restaurant just walk down
enter the restaurant just walk down
enter the restaurant just walk down straight towards the end I’m on the left
straight towards the end I’m on the left
straight towards the end I’m on the left corner table and I said wait you don’t
corner table and I said wait you don’t
corner table and I said wait you don’t have to tell me all this he said why I
have to tell me all this he said why I
have to tell me all this he said why I said just wait and watch and I reached
said just wait and watch and I reached
said just wait and watch and I reached the restaurant and the security guard
the restaurant and the security guard
the restaurant and the security guard said madam sorry is waiting for you
said madam sorry is waiting for you
said madam sorry is waiting for you since when come come come I’ll take you
since when come come come I’ll take you
since when come come come I’ll take you to him as a whole visually impaired
to him as a whole visually impaired
to him as a whole visually impaired person can go have coffee only with
person can go have coffee only with
person can go have coffee only with another visually impaired person right
another visually impaired person right
another visually impaired person right it you know I often say that disability
it you know I often say that disability
it you know I often say that disability doesn’t stop us from having experiences
doesn’t stop us from having experiences
doesn’t stop us from having experiences from living awful life what does is the
from living awful life what does is the
from living awful life what does is the environment what stops us is the
environment what stops us is the
environment what stops us is the attitude of the people around us sure
attitude of the people around us sure
attitude of the people around us sure you know we can take it tolerate and
you know we can take it tolerate and
you know we can take it tolerate and better to a level but ignorance quite
better to a level but ignorance quite
better to a level but ignorance quite frankly ceases to be an excuse
frankly ceases to be an excuse
frankly ceases to be an excuse curiosity becomes irritating and help
curiosity becomes irritating and help
curiosity becomes irritating and help against my choice is absolutely not
against my choice is absolutely not
against my choice is absolutely not welcome and if you still do all this the
welcome and if you still do all this the
welcome and if you still do all this the joke is on you with this idea I started
joke is on you with this idea I started
joke is on you with this idea I started to perform stand-up comedy to create
to perform stand-up comedy to create
to perform stand-up comedy to create sensitization around disability gender
sensitization around disability gender
sensitization around disability gender and sexuality and related issues and
and sexuality and related issues and
and sexuality and related issues and became India’s first-ever disabled
became India’s first-ever disabled
became India’s first-ever disabled female comedian as of today what did
female comedian as of today what did
female comedian as of today what did this to me and this did to me was I took
this to me and this did to me was I took
this to me and this did to me was I took my activism and comedy combined and
my activism and comedy combined and
my activism and comedy combined and worked on creating awareness on changing
worked on creating awareness on changing
worked on creating awareness on changing attitudes on bettering the lives of
attitudes on bettering the lives of
attitudes on bettering the lives of girls and women with disabilities there
girls and women with disabilities there
girls and women with disabilities there were struggles there were successes
were struggles there were successes
were struggles there were successes there were a variety of tools there was
there were a variety of tools there was
there were a variety of tools there was trainings research writing campaigns
trainings research writing campaigns
trainings research writing campaigns that I engaged in with a range of human
that I engaged in with a range of human
that I engaged in with a range of human rights and women’s rights
rights and women’s rights
rights and women’s rights anas Asians that I work but for me what
anas Asians that I work but for me what
anas Asians that I work but for me what was really important was to take that
was really important was to take that
was really important was to take that vision of the 15 year old girl could
vision of the 15 year old girl could
vision of the 15 year old girl could acquire and blindness to date that
acquire and blindness to date that
acquire and blindness to date that vision ahead of creating a support for
vision ahead of creating a support for
vision ahead of creating a support for women with disabilities with this vision
women with disabilities with this vision
women with disabilities with this vision in mind I recently launched my
in mind I recently launched my
in mind I recently launched my organization rising flame just with one
organization rising flame just with one
organization rising flame just with one thought that women with disabilities
thought that women with disabilities
thought that women with disabilities need to build their voice that they need
need to build their voice that they need
need to build their voice that they need to become leaders and embody the change
to become leaders and embody the change
to become leaders and embody the change because we need a change for women with
because we need a change for women with
because we need a change for women with disabilities to be recognized as women
disabilities to be recognized as women
disabilities to be recognized as women to be recognized as human beings and we
to be recognized as human beings and we
to be recognized as human beings and we don’t just need one change we need waves
don’t just need one change we need waves
don’t just need one change we need waves of it thank you very much
”
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